Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - March

[bluidkiti]

March 28

Step by Step

Today, I will not romanticize my drinking days as “fun” or good if a newcomer to the program or even a veteran talk about “the good old days.” By embellishing drinking before “things went bad” and even constructing a vision that any of it was good, I am probably pining for days when I might have drank “safely” without being honest that those days never existed at all. And by longing for non-existent “good old days,” I am vulnerable to a slip or relapse and denying the truth that I am now, and forever will be, “powerless over alcohol.” More pointedly, if I try to re-do my last drunk into something that is not true, I have basically forgotten my last drunk. And as one of the program’s old sayings goes, if I can’t remember my last drunk, I haven’t had it yet. Today, I will remember with honesty how it was and that it has been, so far by the grace of God, my last drunk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EGO

E.G.O. = Edge God Out

Ego can be one tough customer. It generally fights this business of recovery and a Higher Power tooth and nail. It can cry like a baby and tell us how much care it needs. It can scream like a pouting teenager demanding that we leave it alone. It can romance us like a long-lost lover seducing us into sleep.

The ego can take on many disguises to get its own way. It wants no competition for affection. When we were caught up in our disease, the ego and the drugs and alcohol met up and made an unholy alliance against us. The disease told the ego what it wanted to hear, and the ego fed the disease its poison.

My ego must be cut down to size. This will help stop my disease from doing further damage to my life. My ego will never provide serenity, only endless demand. Only my Higher Power, the Program, and my friends can end this war within me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

My history is a gift, like my body—it’s what I am made of.

~ Shawnee Undell ~

If our bodies are the hardware, our histories are part of the software. We sometimes cringe when we look back at things we did or things that happened. We are tempted to indulge in magical thinking, hoping to turn back the clock and relive events to make them turn out differently. But our experiences, good and bad, are the stuff that teaches what we need to learn.

When we look back, we cannot change what happened. History is history. But we did choose what we made of what happened, and we can still choose: that is always open to revision. Even today we can deepen and improve upon how we respond to what happened. Our growth continues into the present and for as long as we live.

Today I am responding constructively to what has happened in my history.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

There are many realities. We should remember this when we get too caught up in being concerned about the way the rest of the world lives or how we think they live.

~ Natalie Goldberg ~

One of the most elusive truths we’ll ever struggle to grasp is that everyone has a unique perspective about every circumstance, a perspective that reflects a personal understanding of the universe. We never doubt that truth for ourselves, of course. We simply fail to acknowledge that it’s true for everyone else too.

There are times we can’t shake the need to be right; our egos seem to depend on it. Unfortunately, we can’t maintain any real peacefulness if we are always in conflict with others who have their own viewpoints. Winning the “battle” then becomes a painful victory. Believing in valid, separate realities is only difficult at first. But like any other opinion or attitude, it can become habit with enough practice. We have nothing to lose by giving it a try.

I don’t need everyone to agree with me today. I only think I do.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can learn and grow stronger by sitting still

Now that I’ve been in recovery for a while, I feel much better. I have added new friends and a support group meeting to my life – very important commitments. But sometimes I feel like I’m too busy – I feel like I’m pushing the river instead of letting it flow.

When I told a friend in my support group about my pace, he offered me a tool called meditation. I listened carefully and learned that instead of trying to grow or change through doing or thinking all the time, one method of meditation is to do nothing, to simply sit still and focus on breathing. By sitting quietly and just breathing, it is possible to learn about myself, to slowly, subtly, enhance recovery.

I’ll devote five minutes today to sitting still and just breathing.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

To flee vice is the beginning of virtue.

~ Horace ~

Some people, places, and things are risky for our recovery. It’s tempting, especially at the beginning, to go back and visit, to test our new powers, to brag a little to the friends we had then, showing them (and ourselves) how far we’ve come and how much we’ve changed. But we need to remember that those people, places, and things haven’t changed — they are just as dangerous today as they were then.

This is a lesson we need to learn again and again. Even after years of sobriety, we’re tempted at times to test our new resolve, thinking this time we’ll be able to handle temptation. But that’s a gamble, like racing a train to a railroad crossing — and for us, the results can be just as deadly. We may not have quite enough recovery to resist the allure of old ways and old friends. We may not be strong enough to resist temptation. We may feel vulnerable and worthless and give up the fight to recover. But life doesn’t have to be like that today. We can walk past temptation, and find the strength, one day at a time, to start a new and joyous life.

Today help me remember the dangers of giving in to temptation. Help me keep myself safe.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

To do the same thing over and over again is not only boredom; it is to be controlled by rather than to control what you do.

~ Heraclitus ~

Cartoonist Leigh Rubin conveys a humorous look at bore-dom in his comic drawing of a goldfish in a bowl, entitled “Diary of a Fish.” The diary runs from Sunday through Saturday and conveys the same entries about how the fish spent its day: It swam. It ate. It slept.

Now you may view your existence as one of dull routines, causing you to feel bored and disinterested in life. When someone asks, “So what’s new with you?” you may let out a sigh and mumble, “Same old, same old.” But the things that once partnered with your addiction can be transformed and refashioned to add freshness and rich-ness to your life. Being spontaneous can open you up to new experiences. Taking a risk can offer learning and challenge. Doing something out of the ordinary can pro-vide an opportunity to grow. Embracing unpredictability can strengthen your ability to flow with life’s challenges.

If you feel there is nothing special going on in your life, do something different from what you did yesterday. Even simple changes can provide enough stimulation to make life more interesting and enjoyable.

Today I will make an effort to change the scenery of my life.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

My world is composed of takers and givers. The takers may eat better but the givers sleep better.

~ Byron Frederick ~

At the end of every Perry Mason show the murderers were caught. Whether their motives were greed, revenge, or justice, their guilt would surface and right would prevail.

Before the program, we may have refused to see our guilt. We may have taken from others because we believed they owed us. But after we entered the program we learned nobody owes us anything. We now tell the store clerks when we’re undercharged for a purchase. Our guilt over the dishonesty of taking what wasn’t ours would be too much for us.

The giver inside us isn’t bothered by guilt and shame. Because we aren’t taking from others today, we’re only receiving what we deserve. Today, we haven’t stolen, lied, or cheated. Tonight we can sleep better because we’re givers instead of takers.

How did I give to others or myself today? Tonight I can have a clear conscience knowing I was a giver and not a taker.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Maturing

In terms of age, most of us are fifteen going on thirty or forty or fifty. People in the pro-gram have observed that members stopped growing emotionally about the time they started using mood-altering chemicals. It may sound funny, but these observations appear accurate. If we look around us, many newer members do seem stuck in their teenage years.

But abstinence, patience, and working the program help us mature to our proper ages. Given time, we can become the adults we have only pretended to be for so long.

Am I maturing?

Higher Power, help me to grow emotionally.

I will act maturely today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Bring the body, and the mind will follow.

~ SAYING HEARD IN MEETINGS ~

Newcomer

What do people in recovery mean when they say they have “smart feet”?

Sponsor

In recovery, we develop daily habits that we don’t question: the habit of attending meetings, the habit of picking up the telephone to call a sponsor or to share with another recovering person, the habit of starting and ending the day with our preferred combination of prayer, literature, and meditation. We do these things whether we feel like doing them or not, and in time they become second nature to us, automatic as our addictive behavior was in the past. If we don’t have to discuss these habits with ourselves, argue about whether or not they’ll make us feel better, or question whether we’ve outgrown them, our burden is lighter.

Once we’re at a meeting or sharing with another recovering person or with our Higher Power, the unexpected happens. We’re lifted out of the tyranny of addictive thinking. “Smart feet” are feet that carry us to a place we need to be, whether we know it ahead of time or not.

Today, I’m grateful for simple habits that open my heart and mind to recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Why is the world? Why are we here? What is our purpose? Why must we live and suffer and die? Without God, there would be no answer. We do not know the great extent of God’s purpose, but we do know that we as individuals, each and every one, must somehow fit into that purpose.

We can only know God as He has revealed Himself to us. We know His principle attribute is goodness. Therefore His purpose must be good and we can best serve that purpose by aspiring to the highest standard of goodness that we can conceive.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Some people grumble because the roses have thorns instead of being grateful that the thorns have roses.

2) When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.

3) Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Anniversary Prayer

Dear God, I had another anniversary today, one more year in recovery. It has been difficult at times, but it has allowed many blessings. I am a human being again. I feel new strength in my body, spirit, and mind. The world has never looked so good. I have the respect of my friends and family. I am productive in my work. I do not miss the slippery people and places. When I have been tempted, You, my Higher Power, have sustained me. I have found a home in the Fellowship and friends support me. Stay close by me, God. I thank You. This is the life I love.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

AS MEEK AS MOSES

Moses—who overcame the old age belief to the extent of manifesting the physical body of a young man in the prime of life when, according to the calendar, he was one hundred and twenty years old, and then transcended matter altogether, or “dematerialized” without dying—was known pre-eminently for this quality; “as meek as Moses.” apart from his own personal demonstration, Moses also did a marvelous work for his whole nation, getting it out of Egyptian bondage in the face of incredible difficulties. Moses had an open mind, ready to be taught new things and new ways of thinking and working. He was not, in the beginning at least, free from serious faults of character, but he gradually rose above these defects as the new truth worked in his soul.

Moses thoroughly understood that to conform oneself rigorously to the will of God, far from involving the loss of any good, could only mean a better and more splendid life. He did not, therefore, think of his as self-sacrifice, for he knew it to be the highest form of self-glorification—the glorification of god.
…the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works…I am in the Father, and Father in me (John 14:10-11).

There is a marvelous oriental saying that “meekness compels God himself.”

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Let It Go

We must not conceive of prayer as an overcoming of God’s unwillingness, but as laying hold of His highest willingness.

~ Richard Chevenix Trench, Archbishop of Dublin ~

Day after day, I sat at the foot of my mother’s hospital bed, worrying that she might die. She was not recovering after her surgery, and I was fogged with worry. Within a week, I contracted a staph infection and became ill myself. I had to go home and stay in bed, unable to do much of anything. After a few days of rest, I recovered, and so did my mom. My anxious doting in the hospital did no one any good. The best thing I could have done for both of us was to let her be.

Praying or holding an intention for a particular result is not intended to be a struggle or an endurance contest. True prayer can bring us peace and illumination as easily and effortlessly as flicking on a light switch brings light to a room.

After you have prayed sincerely, release your prayer to God. When you mail a letter, you must let it go so it can be delivered to where it is going. After dropping the letter in the mailbox, you do not stand there and make sure no one tampers with it, watch it to see that the letter carrier tucks it away safely, follow him or her back to the post office and trail the letter through the sorting process, insist on sitting next to the mail sack while it is being flown across country, follow it through its next sorting, do a security check on the next postal deliverer, and make sure the addressee picks it up. At some point you must just let go and trust the postal service to do its job. To breathe down the neck of postal service workers would only annoy them and waste your energy.

Pray and act decisively, and then release your intentions so God can take care of you in ways that you could not take care of yourself.

I release my sense of struggle, and trust You to answer my prayers and fulfill my dreams.

God is my trustworthy source of Good. I let go and let God.