Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - March

[bluidkiti]

March 18

Step by Step

Today, stop thinking about what I have lost to alcoholism with pangs of grief, mourning, regret, self-pity, anger and a feeling of injustice. AA has shown me how to turn the pain into gratitude that I had in the first place the people, things and opportunities that are now gone. I have also learned to look not at what I have lost but what I may still gain in recovery. The Fourth and 10th steps of recognizing my character disease, and the command to service in the 12th step hold the promise of gains yet to come. Today, the bitter of the sweet from the pains of my drinking yields to the prospect that I may yet experience that which might overshadow the losses that still hurt. But I have to work the steps of restoration, reconciliation and service to yield the benefits. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

LEARNING

I have learned . . . tolerance from the intolerant and kindness from the unkind. I should not be ungrateful to these teachers.

~ Kahlil Gibran ~

Once again, we are students. This time we are learning the secrets f living completely. These secrets have always been around us. We only had to clear our thinking of the obsessions, dependencies, denials, excessiveness, fears, jealousies and other destructive ideas and habits that ruled us. We had to open our minds to accept and our hearts to understand.

We have found teachers in our Program. Each teacher is a new friend. We learn from them and they learn from the growth of our awareness. We find lessons in the glaring faults we see in others. We learn from our own errors.

In my troubled years, I remembered my school days as perhaps the happiest of my life. I thought they were gone forever. But I’ve found them again in the Program, and I love being back in school.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Who forces time is pushed back by time; who yields to time finds time on his side.

~ The Talmud ~

We are impatient for results. Upon entering a program of recovery, going without a drink or giving up other addictive behaviors for more than a day or a week seems like a huge challenge. When we see friends in recovery with several years of sobriety, we can’t imagine achieving that. Future time can seem like a mountain. Our attitude shifts when we see time not as a challenge that we must overcome, but as our friend, working for us. Time is more like a lake that we swim in. It holds us up and carries us along.

One day at a time, we live only in this present moment. We live more fully when we are present to this moment, yielding to what time will do, letting go of frets and worries about the future.

On this day, I will be alive and aware of my experience.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Through learning to like myself, I’ve been more willing to understand others.

~ JoAnn Reed ~

Unrealistic expectations hinder our growth and relationships. We too often try to be superwoman and we want others to complement our drama. But no one can match our expectations. It’s helpful, then, to step back and remind ourselves that we’re all okay, we’re good enough. We are where we need to be for this point in our journey. With effort we’re coming to believe this, little by little.

How do we give up unrealistic expectations, especially when they are triggered by our shame over not being perfect? Coming to believe that we are acceptable, even lovable, to our Higher Power requires a suspension of our disbelief. We must first “act as if’ and then take time to notice all the goodness in our lives. The evidence will convince us that we are protected and guided, thus loved. Meditating on this truth will give us permission to accept and love ourselves. Understanding and then loving others is only a small step away.

I want to love and appreciate myself and all my friends today. We are here to help each other. God is here too.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can tell my doctor about my addiction

When I first saw my psychiatrist about my symptoms, he asked me if I use alcohol or other drugs. For a few moments, I felt ashamed and embarrassed, but I managed to reply that, in fact, I was recovering from alcoholism.

I knew it was important to make this information clear. Because of my addiction, I must abstain from addictive substances. But with a psychiatric illness, I might have to take a psychiatric medication, maybe just for a while, perhaps longer term. Happily, I learned that this potential jeopardy to my abstinence is avoided as long as the medication is not addictive. To get stable with my psychiatric illness, I will not have to risk relapse to my addiction.

Today I will pray for honesty and humility in all aspects of my recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Forget the Past, enjoy the Present, the Future will take care of itself.

~ James Thurber ~

Time was, we didn’t live in today, but only in the past and the future. We hated ourselves for things we’d done or said — rewriting conversations in our heads, spinning endless rationalizations about what had happened. Or we’d think about the ever-elusive tomorrow. Tomorrow we’d have a good job, begin recovery, make friends, make up with our families, have a wonderful place to live, meet the perfect lover, and begin to enjoy life. Yesterday and tomorrow took up all our time; there was nothing left over for today.

Then in our Twelve Step program we began for the first time to live in the present. For the first time we can savor life and enjoy our surroundings right now. It’s amazing what there is to see when we look around. People are a delight, too, each of us so alike, yet so different. We see as though through new eyes and notice so much we overlooked before. Live for today. One day at a time. These simple words have the world in them.

Today help me live for today. Help me put the past behind me and the future ahead of me, where they belong.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

There was a period in high school when you had to figure out who you were. You’d think, “Well, I’m not fitting in with this group or that group.” And then you’d start to examine your own inventory and wonder, “Is there anything I can do that is going to make me desirable?”

~ David Letterman ~

When you were young, you may have done things to fit in that were not reflections of who you were, but of how you thought others wanted you to be.

While those days may be well in the past, it is not un-usual to still feel inferior or not good enough. Today, with no addictions to use as a comforting crutch, you may be at a loss for how to handle workplace interactions or social situations.

There is one place where you need not worry about fitting in. You are a member of a program that treats all equally. There is no need to feel inferior or to strive to change just to please others. Even when you are uncomfortable or at a loss for words, take heart in the knowledge that you will always belong.

I will not worry about what others think of me. I believe that who I am becoming is who I need to be. I take comfort in the sense of belonging the program gives me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure—try to please everybody.

~ Herbert Bayard Swope ~

Principles are rules or codes of conduct we set for ourselves; like being honest, striving to be on time, and taking responsibility for bills and expenses. It is up to us to abide by these principles.

When we compromise a principle for someone else’s benefit, we jeopardize the strength of that principle and its importance to us. If we want to be honest, then lying to cover up another’s actions compromises that principle. If we want to be on time and someone makes demands that cause us to arrive late, we have compromised ourselves and let someone else’s desire dominate.

We need to set certain standards for ourselves and abide by them, even if another person will not be pleased. To let principles triumph over the demands and desires of another is a victory for our inner peace. If we are true to ourselves, we will learn we can count on ourselves no matter what.

Is anyone making demands upon my principles? Help me be true to myself and not make compromises I will regret.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Freeing ourselves of judgments

Since we tend to condemn in others what we dislike in ourselves we must free ourselves of judgments. Since whatever we express reflects back on us, why express anything but love?

When we judge, condemn, and misunderstand, we invite judgment, condemnation, and misunderstanding in return.

Have I stopped judging others?

Higher Power, let me not judge others today but express the love that I am capable of giving.

Today I will express love to

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

For a girl without a self, I was pretty stubborn.

~ ELEANOR ANTIN ~

Newcomer

I feel good today. Thank God I’ve got my willpower back again. I’ve seen the light: I just have to be strong and stay away from addictive substances.

Sponsor

I prefer the word “willingness” to “willpower.” For me, willpower means forcing myself to do something disagreeable and self-depriving because someone else thinks I should. The trouble with relying on willpower—for me—is that I’m still a rebel in my heart of hearts. Give me something to rebel against, and, in time, I will. Though I may feel guilty when I break the rules, my rebelling somehow comforts me: It’s familiar. It lets me feel like my old self. It lets me say, “This is me, whether they like it or not!”

Willingness, on the other hand, means making a free, open choice to let in the message of recovery. It doesn’t mean always having to be strong. It doesn’t mean having to have all the answers. If we have willingness, we can show up at meetings, listen, and feel supported by the presence of other recovering people and by the laughter in the room. We can grow in recovery through practicing the program and participating in the fellowship.

For today, I don’t try to be strong. I go easy on myself by attending a meeting where I can relax and be myself. I enjoy listening to others share their experience.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Nothing in life is obtained except by pain and toil. This is sad news to us alcoholics who have shunned both like smallpox most of our lives.

Let the famous musician tell you of his hours of dreary practice, the inventor of his hundred failures for each success, the boxing champ of his endless days of absorbing punishment in empty gymnasiums. Toil and suffering are a necessary prelude to success and we should bear our crosses, not as burdens, but as preparations for our ultimate victory.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Thou shalt not ‘should’ on thyself.

2) God only lends us people when we need them.

3) “I” is for illness. ‘We” is for wellness.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Your Gift

Thank You, Higher Power, for Your gift of recovery; that through this Program I have come to know myself better than ever before, and that I have come to know others better as well. I pray that I may be eternally grateful for this, Your blessing.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

A BASIC MIRACLE

Let us suppose, for the sake of example, that on a certain Monday, your affairs are in such a condition that, humanly speaking, certain consequences are sure to follow before the end of the week. These may be legal consequences, perhaps of a very unpleasant nature following upon some decision of the courts; or a physician may decide that a perilous operation will be necessary. Now, if someone can raise the consciousness of the harassed individual above the limitations of the physical plane then the conditions on the plane will change, and, in some unforeseen and normally impossible manner, the legal tragedy will melt away, and to the advantage, be it noted, of all parties to the case; or the patient will be healed instead of having to undergo the operation.

In other words, miracles, in the popular sense of the word, can and do happen as the result of a change of consciousness, and a change of consciousness is usually accomplished through prayer. Thus prayer does change things.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:9).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The C.C.C.C.

Hands of invisible spirits touch the strings of that mysterious instrument, the soul, and play the prelude of our future.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow ~

Me was my first and greatest love,” Michele told our seminar group. “But because I was young and he was older, my parents forbade me to see him. Tearfully we parted, and although I grew up and went through two marriages, I held him in my heart, and he always lived in the back of my mind. Eventually we lost track of each other, and I always wondered how he was. I moved from the Bronx and started a new life in Florida. One day I walked into a 7-Eleven in Clearwater, and there he was—it had been 37 years. We talked and then we went out to dinner. I knew that our meeting was not about us getting back together. It was an answer to my prayer of completing with this man whom I loved so much.”

What great mind could have known how to reunite these two people who cared about each other so deeply? Surely no human technology could draw two lovers together after 37 years and a thousand miles of distance. There is, however, a powerful organization that coordinates such events. It is called the C.C.C.C —the Cosmic Coincidence Control Center. This invisible agency neatly arranges the meeting of any two people who need to connect for an important reason. The center works day and night to keep track of all hearts’ desires and soul needs. All prayers for healing are referred to the C.C.C.C., and the agency makes sure that any incomplete soul issues magnetize the perfect people to work them out.

No one is ever more than a thought away. If it is right, you will draw them or someone similar to you so that your heart may rest.

Lift my vision beyond the limits of this world. Help me remember that I can and will be joined with everyone and everything I need. Thank you for bringing me the right and perfect people and events for the fulfillment of my purpose.

The spirit of love arranges all meetings in divine order for the highest good of all concerned.