Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - March

[bluidkiti]

March 17

Step by Step

Today, I begin reconditioning my thought processes to think as a sober alcoholic instead of one still drinking. Much of my thinking has been under the influence but, without that influence, I have to believe that my thoughts will change – for the better. As such, I need to adapt myself to a perspective unfamiliar to me. Not doing so will make me little more than a dry drunk. And AA promises that recovery is more than being dry. I must make a conscious decision that I will no longer think in terms of “me” and that the thinking patterns that enabled my alcoholic drinking must change. Today, I start to retrain my brain to think in terms of sobriety and dismantle my thinking from the perspective of the drunk that I am working to dropkick into yesterday. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace during a storm.

~ Anonymous ~

We learn in our recovery that life has a way of recreating itself. The discovery is one we are taught not to fight. We remember how badly we hurt when things would pass away from us, whether it was a lost doll, a lost dog, or a lost dad. We closed ourselves off from the possibility that anything of value could come from the loss. Yet the doll was replaced, a cat came into our lives, and a father figure emerged.

The key to staying in our Program is to remember that life does recreate itself. There will be many moments when we find ourselves squarely in the middle of a passing away. We will be hurt and wonder how we can go on.

Not to worry, this too shall pass. This cold winter of a moment will break soon into a sunny spring of a future.

There can be no comings if there are no goings. Life can’t be recreated if there is no passing away. I need to remember that sometimes it is darkest before daybreak.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A “no” uttered from the deepest conviction is better and greater than a “yes” merely uttered to please or what is worse, to avoid trouble.

~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

We don’t like to make anyone unhappy with us. We don’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings. We feel best when others tell us they like what we do. And we have the idea that we are strong enough to put aside our own wishes and feelings when others have strong desires. In our denial we tell ourselves, “I can handle it.” We have even violated our sense of what is right because someone else insisted.

Many a man has gotten himself into serious problems because he didn’t muster the courage to say no at critical times. In sexual situations we said, “I couldn’t hurt her feelings.” In work situations we said, “I am only doing it the way everyone else does it.” Within our families we said, “I don’t want to cause an uproar.” But now, with our good values and our good intuition, we can find the strength to stand up for what we believe. We have our honor and our self-respect for staying honest.

Today I will speak my honest truth, not to be right but to be true to myself.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I don’t always know what I want, but I do know what I don’t want.

~ Helen Neujahr ~

We don’t want pain or confusion in our lives. We don’t want friends to depart. We don’t want a boss to be too demanding. And we don’t want to lose control of the outcomes that are unfolding around us every day. There is so much we don’t want. How lucky we are to be in this program and to have a caring Higher Power to help us handle the situations that we don’t want in our lives.

We need the help of a Higher Power because we seldom know what is really best for us. Had we had our way in years past, we most likely would not be recovering. Instead, we may have stayed in a relationship that was quietly killing us, or we may have killed someone else or ourselves because of our addiction. God had a better plan for us then; God continues to have a better plan for us now.

We must be ready to relinquish that which we think we want if the evidence confronting us suggests God thinks differently. We must let hindsight offer us enlightenment regarding God’s better plan.

I will trust God to direct my thoughts and my actions. I will try to want what God wants for me today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can find acceptance

I have a dual disorder of chemical dependency and psychiatric illness. Today I am clean and sober, attending outpatient treatment, and taking psychiatric medication. But even though I am taking care of myself, at times I feel ashamed. I feel like hiding. I feel like I’m less than other people – separate and unloved.

Except when I go to my dual recovery meeting. There, I can be seen and be safe. There, I don’t feel judged – we all have similar problems. There, I feel part of a caring community. They simply accept me with my two no-fault illnesses.

I will make a commitment to regularly attend a Twelve Step meeting for my dual recovery so I can be with people who accept me – the people I need.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The world is so full of a number of things,
I’m sure we should all be as happy as kings.

~ Robert Louis Stevenson ~

When we first began recovery, we were sick and lost. The world seemed a grim and bleak place to us, with no comfort or relief in sight. We had given up our addiction, our best friend and worst enemy, and we had nothing to replace it. We retreated from the misery of our physical selves, ignoring our bodies and the outside world.

Gradually, in recovery, our vision has cleared and we can see the world around us again, not through the foggy eyes of compulsion and need, but as it really is, full of variety, majesty, and beauty. The seasons change. Life and light shift. Trees, grass, and flowers go from gaudy to gaunt and back again. The wind changes direction announcing rain or snow or sun.

We’ve rediscovered food, the crackling of wood in a fireplace, the color of a sunset, the smell of new earth and rain.

We can be grateful instead of bitter, and open instead of shut off from others. We are growing instead of dying. We’ve found love and warmth. From near-death, we’ve found rebirth.

Today let me take time to look up at the sky and down at the earth and appreciate the beauty I see.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

A painful time in our life is what I call a “healing crisis.” We are letting go of something old and opening to something new.

~ Shakti Gawain ~

Healing is a combination of three components: letting go of something that has a negative impact on you, believing in yourself, and appreciating the gift of time, to get better—in mind, body, and spirit.

When a cut is healing, pulling the scab off inflicts more hurt. Simply put, healing begins when you leave the cut alone. The same is true of healing yourself. You cannot get better when you stay in difficult situations or associate with unhealthy people. Healing begins when you can let go of the negative people, places, and things in your life so you can free yourself from pain.

Healing also requires time and patience. Focus on each moment by taking care in what you say, what you think, and what you do.

Just as healing is a matter of time, so too is it a matter of opportunity. One of the greatest healing therapies is your connection to yourself. Healing takes place when you open your heart in love and acceptance of who you are becoming through the process of healing.

Healing is the journey I will take today. The destination for this journey will be to know myself better and to love myself more.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The great rhythms of nature, today so dully disregarded, wounded even, have here their spacious and primeval liberty. . . . Journeying birds alight here and fly away again all unseen, schools offish move beneath the waves, the surf flings its spray against the sun.

~ Henry Beston ~

We think about the many things that are happening around the world. Tonight it is tomorrow somewhere. A new day is dawning, birds are awakening. A rhythm is starting unlike our rhythm now.

Somewhere on the ocean, a supertanker is delivering products to a new location. Beneath it are miles of depth teeming with many varieties of fish. A rhythm is happening that is unobserved.

Birds are flying somewhere in the world right now. There is a nest of eggs with a parent patiently maintaining their warmth. Somewhere there are farmers plowing, children playing, musicians creating, teachers teaching. We are a part of it all. We belong to every creature and every place. We are here—and we are everywhere.

Tonight I can close my eyes and imagine all the life around me and know I am part of it all.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Getting in touch with our feelings

When we were using alcohol and other drugs we lost our moral path. It caused us anguish to feel one way but act another. Eventually we got so confused that we wondered how we really felt.

But now in the program, we want to get honest with ourselves. We want to know our feelings and be able to express them. After a while, those around us will begin to feel that they can trust us and depend on us.

Can I reveal my true feelings?

God, give me the courage to be honest with myself and others about how I am feeling, especially if it’s not how I wish I felt.

The true feelings I will disclose today are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one.

~ JOAN BAEZ ~

Newcomer

Where were you yesterday? I called you at nine in the morning and eleven at night; both times I got your answering machine and left a message. I know you’re a busy person, but I thought that people in this program would at least have the courtesy to return my calls.

Sponsor

I did have a busy day yesterday; I missed talking with you. This is going to happen once in a while, so I’m glad that you have other phone numbers and a meeting list.

When I was newly recovering, my motto was “I want what I want when I want it!” Sometimes my sponsor wasn’t available instantly and had to call me back later; sometimes she said things I didn’t want to hear at all. When my response was to withdraw—to stop calling, or miss meetings so I wouldn’t have to see her—I closed the door to healing. But when I could summon the courage to say, “I feel hurt, I feel angry, I’m afraid to trust you!” we could talk about what was going on and reason things out together.

Thank you for letting me hear how upset you were that our routine was disrupted; it’s an important part of the work you are doing in recovery. I won’t always be able to give you what you want when you want it, but I do respect your feelings.

Today, I have the courage to call my sponsor, even though I may have thoughts or feelings I’d prefer to ignore. I keep the lines of communication open.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Too few people can distinguish the difference between the moderate or social drinker and the compulsive drinker. In fact, the line is so indistinct that the drinker himself does not know until it is too late.

The Niagara River is a smooth-flowing stream until it reaches the Falls and then, in a matter of feet, it becomes a churning torrent of danger and death.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) No two of us are alike, that should make us grateful!

2) If you want to know what’s in your heart, listen to your mouth.

3) Take the program seriously, not yourself.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Things to Give

Today, I pray I may give:

To my enemy: Forgiveness.
To my opponent: Tolerance.
To my customer: Service.
To a friend: Kindness.
To all people: Charity.
To my family: My heart.
To every child: A good example.
To myself: Respect.

To You, Higher Power: LOVE
With all my heart,
With all my soul,
With all my mind.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

MIRACLES

Jesus taught through miracles.

If the miracles did not happen, the rest of the Gospel story loses all real significance. If Jesus did not believe them to be possible, and undertake to perform them, then the Gospel message is chaotic, contradictory, and devoid of significance.

But the deeds related to Jesus in the Four Gospels did happen, and many others too, “the which, if they should be written, every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written.” Jesus himself justified what people thought to be a strange teaching by the works he was able to do; and he went further and said,

… the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works… (John 14:12).

Now what, after all, is a miracle? Those who deny the possibility of miracles on the ground that the universe is a perfect system of law and order, to the operation of which there can be no exception, are perfectly right. But the explanation is that the world of which we are normally aware, and with whose laws alone most people are acquainted, is only a fragment of the whole universe as it really is; and that there is such a thing as appealing from a lower to a higher law—from a lesser to a greater expression. In the sense of a real breach of law, miracles are impossible. Yet, in the sense all ordinary rules and limitation of the physical plane can be set aside or overridden by an understanding that has risen about them, miracles can and do happen.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Move the Spotlight

If someone in your life talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you would have left them a long time ago.

~ Dr. Carla Gordan ~

I wondered why I had signed up for this expensive astrology consultation. As the astrologer discussed my chart, I found myself feeling bored and impatient. Finally, he made an assessment that rang my chimes: “You are the kind of person who, if you did a job with 99 percent excellence, would berate yourself for the other one percent.” I had never thought about myself that way, but he was correct. The entire reading and fee were worth that insight.

The amount of abusive self-talk we put up with is incredible. We must retrain our mind to spotlight what is working rather than what is not. The rational mind is programmed to search for errors and imperfections. But the nature of the heart is to find what is lovable and expand on that. The habit of fault-finding is learned, and, as such, we can re-educate our vision to find perfection. A Course in Miracles tells us that we are much too tolerant of mind-wandering. We allow our fearful mind to run in every which way without calling it to return to sanity. We will have as much insanity in our lives as we allow; we can eliminate it entirely if we choose.

In prayer or meditation, ask that you become aware of patterns of thought with which you hurt yourself: “Poor me,” “Never enough,” and Why can’t I?” are trains of thought that will take you over a cliff if you ride them. If you read the destination printed on the train before you step onto it, you can choose another train and replace those negative patterns with “Blessed me,” “Always enough,” and “How can I?” A Course in Miracles asks us to affirm, “I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt”

Instead of being a fault-finder, become a perfection-finder, and quickly the world you live in will reflect your vision.

Show me how to think in harmony with Your will. I want to live in the world You created.

I find the good because I seek it.