Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2020

[bluidkiti]

December 7

Quote of the Week

"Relapse begins a long time before you pick up that first drink."

I am a three-meeting-minimum-a-week kind of guy. Anything less than that and I begin feeling, well, kind of vulnerable. Oh, not that I’m going to pick up a drink, but vulnerable to what my head tells me, and vulnerable to feeling more irritable, restless, and discontented. I’m quicker to judge things, and I begin storing resentments. While I may not be thinking of drinking, I no longer feel threatened by the thought of it.

After a few weeks of that, it begins to get harder to make even two meetings a week. Soon I’m not answering my phone very much, and calling my sponsor doesn’t even occur to me. Work pressures mount, and on the way home I’m more frustrated by people not driving right, parking lots that are too full, and a slow Internet speed when I get home. Suddenly the world is out of whack, and the idea of a drink seems not only natural but completely reasonable as well.

I can’t tell you the number of times I have heard people who relapse tell a story similar to the one above. It always scares the heck out of me because there have been times when I’ve begun to go down that same path. Thank God for my commitments, a strong support group, regular meetings I look forward to, and sponsees who continue to call me. These days, I have four meetings a week I go to, whether I need them or not. I want to keep the distance between me and a relapse as wide as possible.