Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - December

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December 29

Step by Step

Today, when resolutions for the coming new year are in vogue, I will make none because to do so skirts the program’s edict to take life one day at a time. Further, I have no guarantee that an entire year is promised me, and I cannot live for a day in the future because, in doing that, I am neglecting today. AA discourages us from living or looking too far ahead if today is sacrificed and encourages us to make our resolutions daily. Today, awakening to a new day, my resolution is to adhere to the steps and principles of the program and not drink and, further, to grow in the sobriety I seek. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ A YEAR OF MIRACLES ~ (Meditations Written by Members of Nicotine Anonymous) ~

How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.

~ MARCUS AURELIUS ~

Anger simmers inside me, boiling up at times. It is hurting the wrong people, coming out at the wrong time, and causing me problems. Did I quit using nicotine to become a monster? Where is this anger coming from?

Until recently, I buried my feelings by distracting myself with tobacco. Now I am dealing with a backlog of emotional energy that has never been acknowledged.

It is true that I have taken the lid off my emotions. Things will be turbulent for a time, but with each experience I gain some self-knowledge. If a certain thing has irritated me for a long time, now I can look at that and examine the best way to deal with my discomfort. If I blow up, timely apologies can mend the hurt of my hasty words. I discover that I must learn to guard my words when I am upset. I am gaining control over my emotional reactions. Each of these lessons moves me along the road to emotional recovery. That is one of the many gifts of getting free from the nicotine addiction.

The anger and irritability I experience are a stage in my recovery from the nicotine addiction. No magic cure will take them painlessly away. I must grow through experiencing these feelings and honestly dealing with them, at long last.

Today, I will bravely face all emotions.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Apathy is the behavior of a slave.

~ Richard Wagenvoord ~

When we were slaves to addiction and codependency, our values were suppressed and our enthusiasm for life was dampened. We were under the influence of our addictive brain. The prospect of life without our substance and without our controlling behavior seemed dull and very scary.

In recovery, we also recover from dullness and apathy. Life gets interesting and full of possibilities. We shed our turned-off attitude. We drop our cynicism and become believers, open to interesting and exciting opportunities. Having faced our slavery and found a path to freedom, the world opens up to us. We know we have a lot of work to do, but we are willing to suspend our doubts. We see that life can be better for us. Apathy has been replaced by hope and a deep sense of gratitude.

Today I can see a path to follow that makes me hopeful and I am full of gratitude for my freedom. 

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

In childhood I was told that if I have faith, health, and love, I have everything. As an adult I know it’s true.

~ Mardy Kopischke ~

Over the years we may have wasted lots of energy seeking material possessions, certain that one more outfit, a new hairstyle, or a better-paying job would fix our problems. Nuturing our health, practicing the presence of a Higher Power, or giving love were low on our “to do” list. Other people may have even suggested these practices to us, but we didn’t understand the payoff.

Now in recovery we are beginning to reap the benefits of such practices. We have discovered that the principles of the program, when lived fully, cultivate our faith, strengthen our health, and teach us the meaning of being loved. These in turn make giving love to others easier. In the process we realize that everything we ever hoped to gain erroneously through possessions can be ours when we follow the simple suggestions of this program.

I am wiser now that I know how to nurture faith, health, and love.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am working on my fear of people

I tend to be afraid of people. For one thing, I can’t seem to trust much yet. I’m also afraid to talk. I don’t know what to say and I think I’ll make a fool of myself. Mostly, I’m afraid that they won’t like me. It’s hard for me to make friends, hard to feel safe, hard to relax. And easy to feel alone.

But with the help I am getting for my emotional problems—and my drinking—I feel better. I am learning that I am a worthwhile, likable person and that I’m not as different as I thought I was. The best part is that I am not alone: I’m meeting others who feel as I do and are working a program of change.

I will practice smiling at myself in the mirror and saying “Hi!”

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

God dwells wherever man lets Him in.

~ Mendel of Kotzk ~

God has entrusted each of us with a little part of Himself. When we are in the most pain, or feeling lost and confused, we need to call upon this small piece of God: our conscience.

Perhaps our parents told us about our con-science when we were small, that through it God would speak to us when we were hurting, as if through the depths of our pain. That concept is as true today as it was many years ago. When we open ourselves to God we can hear His voice.

The struggles we face in recovery are made simpler by listening to the voice of God within us. God can be our strength when we feel weak; can give us purpose when we have none; can give us hope when we despair. God is the voice of concern and compassion, giving us the power to conquer our problems one day at a time.

Today help me hear and trust my conscience — the voice of God within me.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Don’t be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of.

~ Charles Richards ~

Do you remember playing the childhood game “Mother May I?” In this game one person faces a group and assumes the role of “mother,” directing the progress of players as they attempt to advance forward until one person overtakes the “mother” position.

In much the same way, recovery is a journey that involves a step-by-step process of growth and achievement, with the ultimate goal of placing distance between your former life in which you used to a life of abstinence. Some days you may find the steps you make to be large, and it may seem as if you are making great progress. Other days your recovery may feel like the steps you make are small and your progress is painstakingly slow. And there may also be days in which you find yourself moving backward rather than forward.

But there is no timetable or calendar in recovery. It is not a race, a game of winners and losers, or a timed event. Recovery takes as long as it needs to take. Rather than be cheered when you make great progress and disappointed when your progress seems small, be equally satisfied with whatever you accomplish.

I will celebrate each day of abstinence.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

It is important for everyone who is trying personally to apply these principles, to understand that all progress is vibratory and uneven. The higher standpoint is only reached through a long series of ‘ups and downs.’

~ Henry Wood ~

Are we expecting some magical signal to occur when we’re “cured” of the symptoms of our disease? Do we believe once we “master” the tools of the program we won’t feel pain, sadness, resentment, or disappointment? Are we still anticipating a happily- ever-after to occur in our lives?

Life is naturally full of ups and downs. Every day isn’t all sunshine and perfect temperatures. Nature has its tragedies and destruction as well as its growth and harvest. If we see both good and bad as complements to each other, we will see life is a continuous process.

If we apply the principles of the program, our lives will get better. The ups and downs won’t go away, but we will stop focusing on only one or the other. We will see it all as part of the same picture.

My only expectation tonight is to let life flow the way it’s meant to.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Having faith

We find in our daily lives that there are people who don’t realize a Higher Power. Some of these people may ridicule us for our beliefs, but we need faith to get better.

We rely on our Higher Power to help keep us from drugs and alcohol. We must remember to practice our principles and to maintain our beliefs so we will not be swayed by contrary opinions.

Am I a true believer?

Higher Power, I pray that I may have the patience to love all people no matter what their beliefs.

Today I will express my faith by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Freedom breeds freedom. Nothing else does.

~ ANNE ROE ~

Newcomer

Now that I’m getting close to a year in recovery, I have this crazy feeling sometimes. I say to myself, “What am I doing without my drug of choice? It’s been too long!”

Sponsor

We’ve talked together in the past about “anniversary anxiety.” It’s natural for doubts to arise at a point in time when we’re about to celebrate a success. Some of us may wonder, “Do I really deserve all this? Is this really me?”

Fortunately, we don’t have to act on a crazy feeling any more. We recognize that though recovery is a relatively recent phenomenon in our lives, it’s rooted in us now, and it’s essential to our survival and growth. We make a point of sharing our doubts and fears at meetings, where others in recovery will help us remember where active addiction took us and laugh with us at our doubts about recovery.

Active addiction is not, as we’ve sometimes believed, an essential part of our identity. It is an obstacle to discovering and nurturing that identity.

Today, I renew my commitment to recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Is someone happier, better, or braver because of some act of yours today? If you can answer yes to any or all of them, then you can feel rather confident that you are progressing in the AA way of living.

If you can’t — then you are not giving it the old College try and you are cheating yourself out of a lot of happiness that could have been yours.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Drink(ing,): Grateful alcoholics don’t drink, and drinking alcoholics aren’t grateful.

2) Health(y): Don’t try to be normal; try to be healthy.

3) Opportunity: In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

by Shelly Marshall

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Be at Peace

Do not look forward in fear to the changes of life,

rather look to them with full hope that as they
arise, God will lead you safely through all things.
And when you cannot stand it,
God will carry you in His arms.

Do not fear what will happen tomorrow.

The same God who cares for you today
will take care of you today and every day.
God will either shield you from suffering or
will give you unfailing strength to bear it.
Be patient and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

DEALING WITH THE NEGATIVE

What is meant by negative thinking? A negative thought is any thought of failure, disappointment, or trouble; any thought of criticism, or spite, or jealousy, or condemnation of others, or self-condemnation; any thought of sickness or accident; or, in short, any kind of limitation. In practice you will never have any trouble in knowing whether a given thought is positive or negative. Even if your brain tries to deceive you, your heart will whisper the truth.

Second, you must be quite clear that what this scheme calls for is that you shall not dwell upon negative things. It is not the thoughts that come to you that matter, but only such of them as you choose to entertain and dwell upon. Many negative thoughts will come to you all day long. Some will be given to you by other people, or you will hear disagreeable news. These things, however, do not matter so long as you do not entertain them. An analogy is furnished by the case of a man who is sitting by an open fire when a red hot cinder flies out and falls on his sleeve. If he blows that cinder off at once, without a moment’s delay to think about it, no harm is done. But if he allows it to rest on him for a single moment, under any pretense, the mischief is done, and it will be a troublesome task to repair that sleeve. So it is with a negative thought.

Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee (Acts 8:22).

People often find that the starting of this seven-day mental diet seems to stir up difficulties. It seems as though everything begins to go wrong at once. This may be disconcerting, but it is really a good sign. Suppose your whole world seems to rock on its foundations. Hold on steadily, let it rock, and when the rocking is over, the picture will have reassembled itself into something much nearer to your heart’s desire.

Do not tell anyone else that you are on a diet. Remember that your soul should be the Secret Place of the Most High. When you have secured your new mentality, then tell the story to anyone else whom you think is likely to be helped by it.

Tell ye your children of it, and let your children tell their children, and their children another generation (Joel 1:3). 

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Toxic Thoughts

Only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.

~ Fyodor Dostoevsky ~

“Hey, Samantha, there’s a pig out here!” I called to my office manager.

“Watch for its mother, the dog.”

“What?”

“Our neighbors found the pig in a field just after its birth. The only animal role model it had was the dog. The pig thinks the dog is its mother; he follows her around everywhere.” As she spoke, a big black dog emerged from the yard. Immediately, the pig nuzzled up to it and followed it home.

Our predicament is not unlike the pig’s. We have accepted an identity unlike what we are. We are divine beings, and we think we are limited. We are whole, and we define ourselves by our parts. We are spiritual beings, and we act as if we are bodies.

Toxic relationships are the subject of much discussion. Books, talk shows, and therapy sessions are buzzing with references to toxic parents, toxic children, and toxic partners. The notion is that some people are just unhealthy to be around, and we should avoid them.

Wise, to be sure, but there is more. A Course in Miracles reminds us that “I am responsible for what I see” and “I am affected only by my thoughts.” Behind all situations in the outer world, our thoughts determine our experience. Our real work is to see through the eyes of love, not fear.

We are not required to stay in abusive situations. The most powerful place to begin extricating ourselves from abuse is in our own mind. Everyone we encounter mirrors something we believe about who we are and what we deserve. Know the good you merit, and you will attract people that honor, not hurt you. If we can learn to love ourselves enough, the thought of blaming anyone else for our pain will be as foreign to us as a pig thinking it is a dog.

Help me to create a world that mirrors the love I deserve.

I am as God created me. I remember who I am. I deserve infinite love.