Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - December

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December 28

Step by Step

Today, let me loosen my grip on my perspective that the program hammers what I cannot do and, instead, that it enables me with what I can do. While I cannot continue in futile endeavor to regain control over alcohol, I can control it by not feeding it. While I cannot continue to engage in conduct that injures myself and others, I can chart a 180-degree course change and start to give something nurturing instead of inflicting harm. And while I cannot always make direct amends for whatever reason, I can make indirect amends by working a program in which my sobriety is its own amend. AA is not a program of cannot; it is, instead, a program of can. Today the first word in can’t is can. And I can. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ A YEAR OF MIRACLES ~ (Meditations Written by Members of Nicotine Anonymous) ~

All these activities help us develop different paths of ourselves, to bring more clarity, compassion, and self- awareness, to attain the highest level of who we are. In turn, we are able to share this with others.

~ NICOTINE ANONYMOUS MEMBER ~

So many good thoughts are shared at meetings. Who could speak more pointedly to my nicotine-affected life than another addict? One poetic member explained how the struggle to quit felt to her in these words, “God and the Devil were arguing in my head, and I was rooting for the Devil.”

She was an honest person. She knew the choice to quit was not a clear and easy decision. Even so when the urge hits, I now have choices. I do not have to choose nicotine.

I am fortunate to have the support and guidance available at meetings. I get the benefit of this support by getting myself out to meetings. Sometimes when I least feel like going, the meeting is the most beneficial for me. When I am feeling less needy, I can go to meetings to give to new members the help and support that was given to me.

Meetings sustain me through the most difficult stages of getting free from nicotine. I discover the depths that the Program offers in shaping a better way of life where I can grow beyond addiction.

Today, I am grateful for my new life with clarity, compassion and self-awareness.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

MOVING AWAY

I’m slipping when I begin to dislike the company and conversation of the Program.

~ Anonymous ~

There is a reason why a lamb gets separated from a flock. The flock will be eating on a particular pasture and a lamb will take a fancy to grass just off to the edge of the field. So the lamb takes a little nibble of this grass. Then he moves just ever so slightly further from the edge and takes another little nibble, then just a bit further and another nibble.

Each little nibble of grass takes the lamb further and further from the flock. After a while, having eaten enough grass, the lamb pokes his head up and notices that the flock has left him. B-A-A-A-A-A! the lamb wails. How could his flock have left him?

I will begin slipping when I stop paying attention to my flock. My group will not leave me; I will leave my group. I will leave like the lamb, just one conversation, one meeting at a time. After a while I, too, could end up wailing for help just like the little lamb.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The spiritual life is about becoming more at home in your own skin.

~ Parker J. Palmer ~

We will not feel serene and at peace with the world every day. Some days we feel distressed and restless and we want something we may not even be able to name. At their most intense, these feelings are like ravenous hunger or dark dread. We may wish we could escape into another reality—or into the “unreality” of co-dependency or addiction. But now we have the opportunity to use better, more satisfying methods of coping.

When we look at these feelings as spiritual needs, we can use spiritual principles to achieve peace of mind. We can make contact with a trusted friend who will listen respectfully to our feelings. We can remember that our Higher Power is always with us, and we can take quiet time for meditation and reflection. We can spend some time where we feel most connected with God- walking outdoors among trees and gardens, listening to music, or going for a good workout. After we respond to distressed feelings in this way, we get relief and grow stronger without the negatives of our old escapes.

Today I will follow the spiritual principles that nurture my life and make me feel better.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The work of adult life is not easy.

~ Gail Sheehy ~

What does being an adult mean to most of us? Perhaps taking full responsibility for all of our actions comes quickest to mind. While using alcohol and other drugs, we were prone to blame our troubles on the nearest warm body. And to our detriment, we often got away with it.

We may still tend to blame others for the strife in our lives. We aren’t immediately willing to go from our assumed blamelessness to full responsibility, just because we gave up our drug of choice. But the people who share our lives now are helping us accept the responsibility that has been ours all along.

The principles of AA make recovery more palatable. We know we are ready for the changes that are promised or we wouldn’t be here, now.

I will do my work today. I will accept responsibility for all my actions, and I will think before opening my mouth.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to learn about my relapse triggers

I feel at a loss. I’d been clean and sober for a while, but then I slipped twice and I don’t really know how it happened. As best I can recall, I got very upset about something and the next thing I knew, I was feeling the guilt and ache of withdrawal.

In my group it’s a good thing that we’re learning how important it is to prevent a relapse before it happens. This means finding out on my own (or with outside help) (a) the things I think or do that put me at risk for using, and (b) the things I think or do that immediately endanger my recovery. I want recovery, and these days I am willing to go to any lengths to get it.

I will write down my two most dangerous triggers for slips and relapse and discuss them with my sponsor and counselor.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Gardening is an active participation in the deepest mysteries of the universe.

~ Thomas Berry ~

We are not alone. We often hear that, but sometimes it’s hard to believe it. Even when we pray daily, sometimes it seems our words are lost some-where in a void. When these feelings take hold in us, it may help to look for a symbol of our unity with the universe as part of God’s plan.

An ordinary house plant can be such a symbol. We water our plants to keep them alive, and some of us even talk to them. And there’s a good reason. Plants breathe in the gases we exhale, and then they exhale oxygen, which we need to live. We are in partnership. God’s part is to provide the soil and sunlight by which the plant makes its food, and by which we grow ours.

With every breath we take, then, we know we are not alone. The universe is by nature a web of unity and interaction. In recovery, we share talk, experiences, and love. Just by being there, by “sharing breath,” and by being ourselves, we share in the partnership of life.

Today let me cultivate my partnership in the world.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I’ve never not taken a risk in my career, and it’s been pretty grueling…. You just don’t stop, no matter what anyone says.

~ Steven Tyler ~

There are addicts who think that their life as a user was one of great risk. But were they really taking a risk, or were they making choices that were fundamentally a roll of the dice?

There is a world of difference between behaving in dangerous ways and taking a life-enhancing risk. Quit-ting your job without any possibility of employment and limited finances, and then hoping you will land on your feet and find something you like to do is risky. But investigating other interests and then quitting your job with a clear career path in mind is taking a risk. One involves leaping into uncharted territory with no idea of where you are heading; the other is making the leap, but doing so with more planning and a greater understanding of your desired outcome.

Similarly, attempting to quit drinking on your own is risky. But using a program of recovery, where there is support and like-minded individuals, is taking a risk. Even though risk taking is scary, and outcomes are not always certain, you will never know what you can be, what you can do, and how your life can change until you take a risk.

I will not put everything at risk—but I will risk something.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

One does not have to believe everything one hears.

~ Cicero ~

As we were growing up, we may have been told many things about ourselves. Some may have been complimentary, but others may have been vicious and degrading statements made by a chemically dependent parent or guardian. Because we were caught in the disease, we may have believed all the horrible things that were said.

But today we don’t have to buy into anyone’s negative comments. We don’t have to believe we are no good, we’re stupid, lazy, helpless, insecure, inept, or will never amount to anything. Anytime we believe those messages, we’re allowing a label to be stuck to our chests.

We can choose to walk around advertising our labels, or we can take them off and rip them up. We can turn away physically and emotionally from the source of the negative comments. The only label we should wear should say we are good people.
<>Tonight I can affirm I’m a good person and that I deserve the best.
hor: Amy E. Dean

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Changing attitudes

Slowly we have to change destructive attitudes and bury our hate, resentment, anxiety, and jealousy. These can be replaced with love, patience, mercy, kindness, and gentleness.

When we practice these new attitudes, we break down old barriers. Our outlook on life will cease to consist of finding fault because someone forgot something, someone’s judgment was bad, or someone acted selfishly. We learn to overlook these circumstances as our Higher Power does.

Have I changed my attitudes?

Higher Power, may my heart’s desire be to change my attitudes and to see and reflect the glory of God in all living things.

Today I will appraise my current attitudes by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Be yourself, that’s all there is of you.

~ RALPH WALDO EMERSON ~

Newcomer

There are some major decisions I made about my life years ago that I’m now beginning to question. It scares me to think that I may have made some mistakes about who I am and want to be. I wonder if I have the courage to change, after all this time, and if I’ll live long enough to find fulfillment.

Sponsor

As recovery progresses, many of us find that we have questions about life choices that we made long ago, or that we let others make for us. We’ve allowed these choices to define us, and now we’re not entirely sure they fit. Even if we wished in the past that we’d taken other options, we may have lacked the willingness and energy to take ourselves seriously. Now that we have had some sober experience, we may find that we have questions about former life decisions.

We’ve learned in recovery not to make hasty decisions based on our desire to stifle a moment’s doubt or anxiety. But we’ve also learned that we can go deep within, listen to our own spirit, and honor what we find there, even if it doesn’t conform to other people’s expectations or to our own preconceptions about who we are supposed to be. We know we can survive upheaval and complexity—we have already done it. We know how to ask for support today and how to discuss our uncertainties and hopes with trusted friends and counselors as we arrive at the truth of our deepest dreams.

Today, I’m making my own map and becoming willing to follow it.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is very often easier to identify an alcoholic by his hang-over than by his drinking pattern. Alcoholics, for the most part, resemble the non-alcoholics when they have a load aboard, but in the mornings, when the sweats and the shakes set in, then the alcoholic can be identified by the degree of his suffering. The alcoholic’s hang-over cannot be gotten rid of by ten-thirty simply with aspirin or Bromos.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Working with Others: Give a ****; be a channel.

2) MISQUOTED SLOGANS: Sleasy does it.

3) Al-Anon: Misery is optional.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I Wish I Were
<>I wish I were big enough to honestly admit all my shortcomings, Brilliant enough to accept praise without it making me arrogant, <>Tall enough to tower over dishonesty,
Strong enough to welcome criticism,
Compassionate enough to understand human frailties,
Wise enough to recognize mistakes,
Humble enough to appreciate greatness,
Brave enough to stand by my friends,
Human enough to be thoughtful of my neighbor,
And spiritual enough to be devoted to the love of God.

~ Author unknown ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WATCH AND WORK

To train yourself in the habit of thought selection will be difficult for the first few days, but it is the most interesting experiment that you could possibly make. You will be amazed at the things that you will learn about yourself. This week may be the most significant week in your whole life; not only will you be able to face your present difficulties in a better spirit, but the difficulties will go. You cannot change conditions directly—you have often tried to do so and failed—but go on the seven-day mental diet and conditions must change for you.

This then is your prescription. For seven days you must not allow yourself to dwell for a moment on any kind of negative thought. You must watch yourself for a week and must not under any pretense allow your mind to dwell on any thought that is not positive, constructive, optimistic, kind. This discipline will be so strenuous that you could not maintain it consciously for much more than a week, but a week will be enough, because by that time the habit of positive thinking will begin to be established. Some changes for the better will have come into your life, encouraging you enormously, and then the new way of life will be so attractive that you will find your mentality aligning itself almost automatically.

Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41). 

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Primed

I fairly sizzle with zeal and enthusiasm and do the things that ought to be done by me.

~ Unity co-founder Charles Fillmore, in his 94th year ~

You are in remarkably good health for a man of 60,” the doctor told Mr. Griggs as he completed his physical. “What, may I ask, did your father die of?”

“My father is alive and well,” answered Mr. Griggs. “He’s 84, and quite vital.”

“That’s wonderful,” remarked the doctor. “How about your grandfather? What was the cause of his death?”

“My grandfather is also alive; he’s 106 years old, in fine health, and he just got married.”

“Married?” the doctor asked, stunned. “Why would a 106-year-old man want to get married?”

“Did I say he wanted to get married?”

Experts from mystical yogis to holistic scientists tell us that a natural human lifespan was intended to be 120. Most human beings do not live that long because we live in unnatural ways—eating tainted foods, breathing polluted air, living under great stress, and thinking small thoughts. Were we to purify our environment, diets, lifestyles, and attitudes, we would nearly double the lifespan we have come to expect.

This means that the ages of 60 to 80 should be our prime. Age is a state of mind, and at any moment you can choose what state you will live in. Satchel Paige asked, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”

Our culture instills heavy programming about what people at various ages can and cannot do. All of this is but a belief system that is real if you subscribe to it and meaningless if you do not. Live from your spirit, and age means nothing.

I pray to move beyond concepts of years and fears. Help me remember that I am bigger than any concept of time and age.

I am eternally young free, and whole.