Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - December

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December 23

Step by Step

Today, if all things out-live their purpose, useful or not, today I begin to discard what serves no use to me anymore. Today I have no use for the emotional and spiritual damage that probably was bred long before my alcoholism and reinforced by alcoholism. They serve no useful purpose and never did, and it’s time to put an end to the damage they – and I – have done. Understanding that drinking for me is a choice and I alone am responsible to the consequences of that choice, those consequences have become so costly that I no longer want to be responsible to them. Because AA is here for the taking, it is my choice to grab it just as strongly as it is my choice to reject drinking and the cycle of abuse to myself and everyone around me. Today, enough is more than enough, and my choice is to go with sobriety. My first step: admitting I am powerless. And our common journey continues. Step by Step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PROMPT ADMISSION

Timeliness is best in all matters.

~ Hesiod ~

If we happened to be a certain NASA scientist, we know all about prompt admissions. A few years ago, when the Voyager spacecraft was sent into space to explore the planets of our solar system, something happened shortly after liftoff. One of the scientists noticed the path of the rocket was off by one ten-thousandth of a degree. It was a very small mistake, but unless the mistake was corrected early, it would multiply itself many times over.

Instead of hitting a target one billion miles away, the craft would miss the mark and the mission would fail. The mistake was corrected, and success was assured.

So it is with our daily inventory. We take prompt and immediate action so we can stay on target. Our target is our conscious contact with God.

When I stray off course, even slightly, I take prompt action to right myself. What appears at the moment to be a minor wrong can quickly grow and jeopardize my recovery.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Hear me, four quarters of the world—a relative I am! Give me the strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is! Give me the eyes to see and the strength to understand, that I may be like you. With your power only can I face the winds.

~ Black Elk ~

All of nature upholds us. It is inevitable that we face strong winds in our lives. These winds challenge us with losses, sadness, difficulties at our work, frightening dangers, and desires for things that only hurt us.

Our spiritual program teaches us that we are not alone. Nature surrounds us. Perhaps we have never considered that the bird sitting on the branch is our relative. It breathes air and has warm blood flowing through its veins just as we do. Even the tall tree we walk past each day is part of our family of life. These beings comfort us and can teach us about how to live. Does the fox in the field worry about what he will eat next week? No, he only hunts for what he needs today.

I will open myself to the whole family of life, to the lessons I can learn, and to the strength that it can give me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

It is a spiritual act to use your own eyes and ears and mind and heart to know the world in your way of knowing, to live in the world in your way of living.

~ Patricia Benson ~

The codependency we struggled with most of our lives kept us from using our own eyes and minds and hearts to see the world. Because we felt it was our job to take care of others’ feelings, we missed the opportunities to know and respect our own feelings and perspectives on the world.

Recovery is making it possible for us to know and live in our world, and what a gift that is! The Steps guide us to a clearer understanding of who we are, sponsors help us appraise our plans and actions, and our Higher Power offers us the strength, courage, and belief to do what we need to do.

We may always need reminders that seeing the world from where we stand is appropriate, healthy, and spiritual. Letting others have their own perspective is likewise appropriate. This program is designed to help us do both.

I will not let others take charge of how I see the events of my life today. I will rely on God to help me be true to my own vision.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am calming down

Before I got help for my anxiety, I used to feel frantic at times. I’d sit down, then get up. I’d pace. Down. Up. Pace. I couldn’t settle down. And I couldn’t stop thinking or worrying.

Things are better now. I’ve admitted my problem and I’m letting others help me (a caring therapist and a support group). I am learning that my problem includes fear of feelings and trying to avoid them. So, in a safe environment, with people who have problems like mine, I’m learning to accept my feelings and deal with them constructively. This helps me relax and I am grateful.

I will write down two coping techniques on a card and keep it handy for times of stress.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.

~ Proverbs 17:22 ~

During active addiction we didn’t laugh much. When we were living in that gray area between life and death everything was serious. Nothing was worth smiling about. As our addiction progressed we began to be suspicious and resentful of other people’s happiness. Life was such a serious business for us, and surely not a laughing matter.

In recovery we’re becoming healthy enough to laugh again. We’re getting enough rest, taking care of ourselves, and have found communion with a Higher Power. Suddenly we find how wonderful even a smile can feel. The old angers, fears, and anxieties are put in their proper perspective. We feel younger, more powerful, less burdened by the cares of the world. Now, it doesn’t take much effort to have fun. Our Twelve Step meetings are a harmonious mix of seriousness and laughter.

In a way it’s like coming home again to the child in us, coming home to joy and peace. A little laughter sure can do a lot.

Today help me to get back in touch with fun and laughter in my life.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

[Christmas] … seemed to be a trip across a minefield seeded with resurrected family feuds, exacerbated loneliness, emotional excess, and the inevitable disappointments that arise when expectations fall far short of reality.

~ Joyce Rebeta-Burditt ~

Celebration of the holidays can present gatherings where it is hard to avoid alcohol and the temptation to indulge. Use these tips to stay safe and sober.

Be sure to prepare yourself. Ask, “Am I in the right frame of mind to overcome any desire to drink?” If you are fraught with emotions or feeling stressed, avoid the party.

Stay away from the bar area so you will be less tempted by the sight of bottles and mixers. If alcoholic and nonalcoholic beverages are being served at the same location, ask a friend to get you a soda.

When you are offered a drink, simply say no. You do not need to give an explanation. If someone persists or hands you a drink, do not make a big deal about it. Give the drink to someone else or set it aside.

Have an exit strategy in place. Drive yourself or go with your sponsor or a trusted friend so you can leave whenever you feel nervous or uncomfortable.

Before I attend a party, I will come up with a plan to stay safe and sober.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

People disturb us. They sap our vitality from us. . . . They pile upon us their conditions of fear and their atmosphere of despondency. In such cases we must regain our poise by the realization of the power that is ever within us. Find your center.

~ Horatio W. Dresser `

Did we become wrapped up in the behaviors of other people today? If we haven’t detached from the problems of our boss, co-worker, or family member, we feel drained and used—like an old rag that’s choked with years of dust and dirt.

Other people own their behaviors just as we own ours. If we buy into someone’s attitude, then we have purchased a piece of that attitude. It’s ours to feel, and feel it we usually do. Suddenly we become a reflection of the other person, displaying whatever emotions he or she is experiencing.

Now that the daytime is over, we can reflect upon our feelings and ask if they are ours or ones we purchased from others. To find our center, we need to discover the feelings that are ours alone. As we interact with people, we can refuse to purchase any more attitudes that are not our own. 

I can detach from others and not buy their feelings. Tonight I will find much serenity from my own feelings.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Choosing wisely

We choose our activities. What we focus on manifests in our lives. If we opt to go to drinking or to pot parties or to socialize with practicing addicts, we are setting ourselves up for failure by re-creating our old environment.

If we choose to associate with people who are clean and sober and spiritually driven, then we are more likely to grow to be clean and sober and spiritual. Our Higher Power will show us the way by disclosing these activities to us.

Do I always choose wisely?

Higher Power, may I learn to choose the activities that lead to growth, not despair.

Today I will choose the good by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I was praying for rhinestones—when my Higher Power had diamonds in store for me!

~ WOMAN IN RECOVERY ~

Newcomer

I applied for something I’m really well qualified to do; it’s something I’ve wanted for a long time. I was rejected in favor of someone else. I don’t plan to relapse over this, but I’m angry and discouraged. It’s hard for me to feel generous toward the person who got what I wanted.

Sponsor

I’m sorry to hear of your disappointment. It sounds as if it was intensified by your competitive feelings with another person. Drinking, using drugs, overeating, or engaging in other addictive behaviors only compounds disappointment with feelings of shame and self-rejection.

Whether the context is work, school, community activity, or personal relationships, there are times when each of us has to deal with rejection. But if we value ourselves and our abilities and are not depending solely on someone else’s validation to make us feel worthwhile, we can detach from a rejection and move on. We know that there will be other, and perhaps more rewarding, opportunities for fulfillment at the right time. We trust that our spirit has a vision larger than the scope of what we can see today.

We can cope with our feelings of competition by praying sincerely that others will receive recognition and happiness. The love and generosity our prayers create in us will lighten our hearts.

Today, I recognize my own value and am confident in my Higher Power’s plan for me. I wholeheartedly celebrate others’ successes.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Every kind deed, every noble act pays off double. You get your first pay-off the instant you do it, provided, however, that you did not perform the act just for the pay-off. It will give you a bang that a shot or a goof-ball can’t approach.

The second pay-off comes later on, for no human action is exempt from repercussions. The world must eventually react to any act, good or bad, and the bread you cast upon the waters will be returned to you on some later tide.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Decide to be satisfied with any results your efforts may bring.

2) There are good days and great days. The good days are when everything goes your way and you don’t drink. The great days are when nothing goes your way and you don’t drink.

3) Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Speak Your Truth

Speak your truth.
Listen when others speak theirs too.
When you let go of fear, you will learn to love others

and you will let them love you.

Do not be afraid of dying.
But do not be afraid to live.
Ask yourself what that means.
Open your heart to love, for that is why you’re here.
And know that you are, and always have been,

One with God and all who live.

~ by Melody Beattie ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE LOST COROT

There is a quaint old legend that is firmly believed in the artists’ colony in Paris. It appears that many years ago a poor struggling artist was so hard up that he did not have even enough money to buy a piece of canvas upon which to paint what he felt sure would be a masterpiece. Going along the quays he saw an old daub selling for a few sous, frame included. It was supposed to represent Napoleon III in full dress uniform, and doubtless had adorned some wall in the days of the Second Empire. That artist decided that he could clean off the picture and use the canvas for his own work.

Arrived home, he proceeded to remove Napoleon III, not a difficult task, and to his astonishment found that there was another picture underneath. The last artist had not even removed the original but simply worked over it. When the last traces of Napoleon III had disappeared, the student was amazed to discover what looked to him like a very fine Corot. He promptly submitted his find to the experts and it was pronounced a genuine Corot. Of course, his days of poverty were ended.

Whether this story be truth or fable, it is a perfect allegory of the nature of man as we know him. Outside we find the “marred image” showing limitation, sin, sickness, and inharmony—the unskilled daub; but underneath is the masterwork of the Great Artist, and our prayers act by clearing away the false accretions—the “many inventions” of the carnal mind—that the already existing Truth and harmony may appear.

Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made man upright; but they have sought out many inventions (Ecclesiastes 7:29). 

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

H.A.L.T.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

~ Max Ehrmann, Desiderata ~

Twelve-step recovery programs have a valuable acronym to help during challenging times: Stop and nourish yourself when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired (H.A.L.T.). When we start to run on empty, we must heed the internal sensor that reminds us to take care of our needs; indeed, we are ineffective to ourselves and others unless we are fed physically, emotionally, and spiritually

I went through a period when I would become very irritable around 11 o’clock each morning. Unfortunately, I took out my vexation on my secretary; every day at that time I would become upset with her for a different reason. Finally, I discovered that my upset had nothing to do with her; my blood sugar had plummeted. I was not eating breakfast, and by that time of day, my energy level crashed. I began to eat a proper breakfast, and it was amazing how the quality of her work improved.

If you’ve been around young children when they’re tired, you know that they become cranky about everything. No matter what you say or do, it’s not good enough. Finally, the only reasonable response is, “I think you need a nap.” Even as adults, we are prone to irrational irritability when we’re overtired. At that point, it’s wise to step back and say, “I need to rest.” You will not be effective until you recharge your batteries.

When we act out of loneliness, we cause more problems than we solve. Loneliness is not a valid reason to have sex or create a relationship. When you feel lonely, instead of trying to find a fix to fill yourself, reach out to a friend and communicate. Acknowledge that you feel lonely, and look the feeling squarely in the eye. As you examine the course of events and feelings that led to the loneliness, you will find healthy ways out of it.

Become a healthy parent to yourself. Give yourself the nurturing you need, and you will be able to be there for others.

Help me to love myself enough to take care of myself.

I feed my spirit. I give life because I am whole.