Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - December

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December 22

Step by Step

Today, the uncertainty of the darkness of endless night eventually gives way to the certainty of daylight and, today, I begin to emerge from the darkness with the affirmation that I need and am worthy of something better. No more nightly binges into alcoholic oblivion that fuel the regrets, remorse and self-pity the morning after, and no more wallowing in anguish that is little more than my pathetic rationalization that I have to drink. My mistakes have been many and great, the pain I inflicted on others and myself deep and perhaps not able to be healed, and the lies too many and too great that, now, not even I can believe them. The darkness that masks the uncertainty of my nights has finally given way to daylight and, today, someone has thrown me the lifeline of AA. If I can go on blind faith alone that I am worthy, I can grab the lifeline. Today, I will. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ A YEAR OF MIRACLES ~ (Meditations Written by Members of Nicotine Anonymous) ~

The wind of God’s grace is always blowing, but you must raise your sails.

~ VIVEKANANDA ~

After almost thirty years of smoking cigarettes, I finally realized I was insane. This enlightenment came to me one morning at six a.m. as I lit my first smoke of the day. I had been awakened at four a.m. once again, coughing so hard I could barely catch my breath. And here I was, two hours later, smoking a cigarette. Insanity.

Divine guidance led me to a counselor. I told him how I had come to the realization that I was insane, and in reply he handed me a copy of Nicotine Anonymous: The Book. I realized that I was being asked to “walk the walk,” instead of just talking the talk. I admitted that I was an addict to nicotine, I was powerless over my addiction, and that my life had become unmanageable.

I have not used nicotine since December 22, 2000. People congratulated me and praised me for my willpower. My willpower was not strong enough; my willpower had been losing the battle with my addiction for years. Only when I surrendered my will to my Higher Power was I graced with freedom from the chains of my addiction.

Today, I am- willing to listen to my Higher Power, and to act as I am guided.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CONSISTENCY

We cannot remain consistent with the world save by growing inconsistent with our past selves.

~ Havelock Ellis ~

Mathematics is a science of formulas. These formulas always give us consistent results. Two plus two is consistently four. The universe is a place of consistency.

There is something to be said for consistency in our own lives. It is wonderful when we do not have to wake up each morning and invent new identities like a fugitive, or invent a new game plan like a con man.

It is a great feeling when we are not fighting the universe each day. When we know our role and choose to play that role with all our energies, we are each of great and lasting value.

It is very important that I do the job I have been assigned. My universe depends on my actions to work properly. My consistent behavior makes my whole universe run smoothly.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Courage is not the absence of despair, it is, rather the capacity to move ahead in spite of despair.

~ Rollo May ~

Some days we wake up to overwhelming feelings that things look bleak. We see loss and danger around us, and we fear for the future. That is when our character is most tested. That is when we are called to continue to just put one foot in front of the other. There is no need to solve all our problems right away or to change the world immediately. Courage isn’t necessarily a feeling of confidence that we can triumph over all odds. It’s knowing that we can move ahead one step at a time, and it’s taking positive action in the face of our fears.

Each day we can do small things that are constructive. By these small things, we can place ourselves on the positive side of life’s equation. We can put our weight where we want to go. That is courage.

Today, in the face of my despair, I will focus my efforts on the side of my hopes and values.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Would you rather be cursing the darkness or lighting the candles?

~ Connie Hilliard ~

Feeling despair over situations, be they grave or less significant, can become habitual. Prior to recovery, our first response to virtually every circumstance that didn’t please us may have been despair. How grateful we can be that we are finally learning to see the glass as half-full rather than as half-empty. It’s really not that difficult to do, and the small shift in our perspective results in a huge attitude adjustment. This in turn influences the outcomes we experience.

How powerful is our attitude! No longer can we be overwhelmed by even the most dire of circumstances if we remember to stay in charge of our attitude. Taking active charge of our responses to the events in our lives also strengthens our character and helps us to develop the integrity we long for. Our assets will flourish with seemingly little effort if we let every situation be an opportunity to demonstrate a positive attitude. Adherence to this decision promises profound pleasures!

I can make my day as bright as I choose. My attitude can light my way.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can stay well if I stay sober

I feel the urge to drink. I haven’t used in several weeks, but the urges still come. Sometimes it’s hard to resist them, especially when my problems pile up and I can’t see how they will ever get resolved.

What helps me at times like this is to recollect how far I’ve come in my recovery. I’m not only sober these days, but with the help of my psychiatric medication and counseling, I am stable. Since I have been able to get a hold on my symptoms, I’m thinking more clearly these days and I can concentrate on what I need to do to recover. I don’t feel so vulnerable. If I gave in to an urge now, I’d lose my sobriety and I might interfere with my meds. For dual recovery, I need sobriety and stability.

Today I will meditate on how my life has improved since I got abstinent.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Life is a great bundle of little things.

~ Oliver Wendell Holmes ~

We make progress every day in recovery, even when we are unaware. This is especially true if we suffer a relapse. To many people relapse could easily be the breaking point, but others of us have come through even stronger than we were before. Where do we find this strength? We have accepted God and His will in our lives, and understand that to make progress we must also accept some suffering along the way.

Before we came into the program our suffering was at its worst. The decision to seek help was our first step of progress. A willingness to accept the help that was offered was our second important step toward health. We continue to make progress every day even when we only seem to inch along. At every stage of recovery we can be proud of what we’ve accomplished and it’s important to stop and acknowledge this. Once we accept that our pain can give us strength we begin to learn a positive lesson from every situation.

Today let me turn some of my pain into progress.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another.

~ Katherine Paterson ~

Everyone feels afraid at times. Do you allow your anger to limit you, or do you release the hold it has upon you?

The best way to handle your fear is to welcome it into your life. First identify your fear. What is it you are afraid of at this particular moment? Then, feel this fear. Close your eyes and let it course through your body As it does so, focus your attention on the energy it is exerting. It may be causing your muscles to tighten or your body to shiver. Your palms may feel cold and clammy. Or you may be sweating. Then identify all of the emotions your fear is bringing up for you, such as worry, doubt, or pain.

Once you have done these things, you have welcomed fear into your life. You have named it and become more familiar with how it makes you feel. You can then strive to minimize your fear. Think about actions you can take that will help ease the tension your fear is causing so you can put your fear into better perspective. Call your sponsor, write your feelings in a journal, or put your energy into a constructive activity.

I welcome my fears so I can release them from my life.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

. . . I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.

~ Rita Mae Brown ~

We’ve probably made many changes in our lives since we joined the program. We may have improved our job performance. We may be attending school, struggling to attain the degree we never got when we were using. We may be spending a majority of our evenings at meetings instead of partying as we did in the past. And we may feel life isn’t fun anymore—that it just doesn’t have the excitement of the past. But did we enjoy our lives before the program?

Today we’re learning to live in a whole new way. We made a lot of changes in our behavior. And we’re learning to enjoy things we never did before—to appreciate a beautiful sunset, to look forward to being around people at a meeting.

If we forget to enjoy today’s precious moments, we can change that right now. Tomorrow is full of enjoyment yet to come!

Have I enjoyed my life today? What can I do to enjoy my life tomorrow?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Inner guidance

The way is simple. It is through our Higher Power. Those who seek fulfillment through drugs, friends, or mysterious cults will be troubled and confused, for our Higher Power is within us. Only we can know what it has to say to us—not others.

Do I follow my conscience in all things?

Higher Power, today I will know and listen to the “still small voice within.”

Today I will seek inner guidance by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Rage . . . is a hell of an effective mood changer!

~ GUY KETTELHACK ~

Newcomer

I’m sick of these people who just do and say whatever they like, in the name of freedom in recovery. There’s one character who always tells me I’ve set the chairs up the wrong way, and another one who regularly comments to me after I’ve shared at the meeting that I don’t sound so good. I’ve had enough. The next time one of these people attacks me, I’m just going to walk out.

Sponsor

Yes, there are some people in recovery who are overly critical or inappropriate. There are some people who have weak boundaries, people who are intolerant of others, even some who are mentally ill. But they’re a small fraction of the people we meet in recovery, just as such people are only a small part of the larger human community.

Anger pouring through us can give us feelings of energy, power, and satisfaction and can compensate for a sense of injustice and powerlessness. But its satisfactions are short-lived and don’t offer long-term solutions to our problems. If anger causes us to leave meetings, we may be on a dangerous course that could lead to alienation from the program and a return to addiction. Anger itself can become addictive.

To “Detach with love,” as an Al-Anon slogan suggests, is the ideal response to people whose behavior upsets us. If we’re not ready to detach with love, we can detach, for now, with whatever feeling arises in us. That doesn’t mean cheating ourselves by walking out of meetings. It means refusing to engage in argument. We can abstain from participating, saying simply, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” and continue working our program of recovery.

Today, I detach with love from people and situations that trigger my anger.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is frequently distressing to observe the attitude of the slipee when he sobers up and endeavors to get back on the Program. Some apparently think it was something to be expected, others feel that it was a necessary part of their alcoholic education and that their slip makes them full-fledged members. Still others take the attitude of “So I slipped, well, what the hell of it?”

They ignore entirely the fact that they have injured AA, as well as themselves. And how about the guys who had to neglect new men, possibly, in order to sober them up? 

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Drink(ing,): First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man (Japanese proverb).

2) Heal(ing): Pain heals; abuse scars.

3) Optimist/pessimist: None ever ruined their eyesight by looking at the bright side of things.

by Shelly Marshall

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Your Destiny

Watch your thoughts,

they become your words.

Watch your words,

they become your actions.

Watch your actions,

they become your habits.

Watch your habits,

they become your character.

Watch your character,

it becomes your destiny.

~ Author unknown ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOUR OWN VALUATION

The world will take you at your own valuation. Your body will take you at your own valuation. Your business will take you at your own valuation; for the value that you really put upon yourself is the one that manifests. You may say, “But that cannot be true, because I know several people who are always boasting and pretending and yet no one ever takes them seriously.”

Please note that I said the value you really put upon yourself. People who boast, bluff, and pretend have really a poor opinion of themselves—or why would they pretend? And it is this poor opinion or sense of inferiority that is demonstrated in the failure that such people always make of their lives.

The man who really believes that his wares are excellent does not dream of lying about them. The man who is satisfied with what he is has no incentive to pretend to be something he is not. The man who is conscious of substantial achievement has no desire to boast.

Nature always takes you at your own valuation. Believe that you are the child of God. Believe that you express Life, Truth, Love. Believe that Wisdom guides you. Believe that you are a special enterprise on the part of God—and what you really believe, that you will demonstrate.

Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be . . . (1 John 3:2). 

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Enough of a Reason

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

~ Oscar Wilde ~

My friend Bette was in conflict over turning on her Christmas tree lights. “I usually don’t turn on the tree lights unless I have company,” Bette told me. “One night I was alone, and I felt like looking at the lights. I thought that it would be foolish and wasteful to turn them all on just for myself. Then I realized that I was enough of a reason. I put on the lights and enjoyed one of the most meaningful Christmas- season evenings I can remember.”

Do you realize that you are enough of a reason to create something beautiful around you? As my friends Jon-Marc and Anastasia were planning their wedding, they learned an important lesson in self-honoring. “When we considered the cost of flowers, our initial reaction was, That’s beyond our budget,’” they told me. “Then we looked at each other and said, ‘We and our wedding are worth the flowers!’ The floral arrays turned out to be one of the most meaningful aspects of our celebration.”
A bumper sticker affirms, “I do not need an excuse to experience joy.” We may feel that we need to justify doing something wonderful for ourselves. We declare, “I have worked hard,” or “I haven’t done anything for myself in a while,” or we may create an illness that requires us to rest and play in order to heal. But we have the power to simply say, “I would love to do this, and so I will.” We do not need to rationalize, explain, or defend our self-nurturing to anyone. If an activity brings us peace and delight, that is reason enough.

Help me remember that my nature is love, and my birthright is happiness.

Life is my reason for celebration!