Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - December

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December 20

Step by Step

“When I entered a sanitarium for prolonged and intensive psychiatric treatment, I was convinced that I was having a serious mental breakdown. I wanted help, and I tried to cooperate. As the treatment progressed, I began to get a picture of myself, of the temperament that had caused me so much trouble. I had been hypersensitive, shy, idealistic. My inability to accept the harsh realities of life had resulted in a disillusioned cynic, clothed in a protective armor against the world’s misunderstanding. That armor had turned into prison walls, locking me in loneliness – and fear. All I had left was an iron determination to live my own life in spite of the alien world – and here I was, an inwardly frightened, outwardly defiant woman, who desperately needed a prop to keep going.

“Alcohol was that prop …” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “Personal Stories,” Ch 4 (“Women Suffer Too”), p 226.

Today, my temperament as a drinking alcoholic was such that I can measure any progress in my recovery – if that temperament of then resembles now, I have not shaken off my “protective armor.” If not, I need to realize that armor is not protection from life’s “harsh realities” but in reality enslaves me to servitude to the dysfunctional thinking of alcoholism. My armor, in short, was not a protection against the realities of life but instead my prison that kept me out of life. Today, I look to Step 10 to continue looking for the character defects that forced me into self-isolation with nothing but alcohol and, today, I choose to live my life on life’s terms and not on alcohol’s terms. My prison of addictive behavior was of my own making, and the program guided me out. I look to the program today to stop me from returning. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ A YEAR OF MIRACLES ~ (Meditations Written by Members of Nicotine Anonymous) ~

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

~ STEP THREE ~

In this Step I am making a decision to take the rest of the Steps using the Power I identified in Step Two. Once again, this Power can come from Nicotine Anonymous, my Nicotine Anonymous sponsor or any way I choose to view God. There are even atheistic views of this Power. The primary theme of this Step is the removal of self, and the replacing of it with the recovery outlined in Steps Four through Twelve. When I take this Step, I can take it with a fellow Nicotine Anonymous member, or my sponsor or a loved one. I often say the Third Step Prayer to signify that I have made the decision to recover.

“Relieve me of the bondage of self. Help me abandon myself to the spirit. Move me to do good in this world and show kindness. Help me to overcome and avoid anger, resentment, jealousy and any other kind of negative thinking today. Help me to help those who suffer. Keep me alert with courage to face life and not withdraw from it, not to insulate myself from all pain whereby I insulate myself from love as well. Free me from fantasy and fear. Inspire and direct my thinking today; let it be divorced from self-pity, dishonesty and self-seeking motives. Show me the way of patience, tolerance kindliness and love. I pray for all of those to whom I’ve been unkind and ask that they are granted the same peace that I seek.”

After having taken this Step, I do not dwell on my decision, nor do I hesitate. I move right into my personal housecleaning; Steps Four through Nine.

Today, I will remind myself that removal of my self is the only effective method for recovery.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

RECOVERY MASK

It’s easy to fool other people. Fooling yourself is a little harder. Fooling God is impossible.

~ Chris Harrison ~

The question often arises in the Pro-gram as to why “so and so” relapsed after time in recovery. The answer is dishonesty. Most of us agree that before we came into the Program, we hid behind a mask and didn’t let anyone really know us. Since coming into the Program, some of us hide behind the dreaded “Recovery Mask.”

When someone is wearing a Recovery Mask, they deceive others into believing that they’re doing well in recovery. The real danger lies in deceiving themselves into believing the same thing. One thing this false image can’t live with is truth. It would be helpful for them to ask themselves, “When was the last time I shared what was really going on inside me, in my innermost world, with somebody, my sponsor, or my home group?”

It does me harm to hide behind a recovery mask. If I do, I may relapse because I’m not sharing my experience, strength, and hope, but only my opinions, attitudes and advice.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Be what you is, cuz if you be what you ain’t, then you ain’t what you is.

~ Tombstone inscription, Tombstone, Arizona ~

When a young man was worried about how to get a special woman to like him, he talked to his grandfather about it. The advice his grandfather gave him was, “Just be yourself.” That was easier said than done, but it was good advice. In order to be ourselves, we must first get to know ourselves and then make peace with who we are.

In taking an inventory of ourselves, in admitting our faults and our strengths, and in facing those we have harmed and repairing our mistakes, we are discovering ourselves and accepting ourselves. That is how we fill out our true manhood. No one stands taller than the man who knows himself, with all his weaknesses and all his assets, and accepts himself as he is.

Today I accept myself and continue to grow into a better person.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I had always thought self-esteem was a state of being. Now I realize it’s the constant decision to love myself, regardless of circumstances, all day long.

~ Mary Casey ~

What does it mean to love ourselves all day long? It means loving ourselves even when we feel shame for having yelled at a friend. It means loving ourselves even when we secretly wish harm on another. It means continuing to love ourselves even when we let opportunities to do something good for other people slip by.

There will be days when we need to make the conscious decision to love ourselves moment by moment. We will never be perfect, but we can be better people than we were in the past. We are making progress. A brief personal inventory will reflect this: perhaps we are learning to think before we act; perhaps we are treating friends or even strangers less critically; perhaps we are seeing the benefits of loving others unconditionally.

In time we will realize the gains we have made. We will see that it is possible to love ourselves fully, even though we have not become perfect.

I will love my every attempt to be kind and thoughtful today. I will forgive each of my failures.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to laugh more

Being sick is no fun. I didn’t have a great sense of humor before I got sick. I’d hate to lose what I had.

In coping with my dual disorder, it has been difficult for me to be anything but serious. But when I’m given a little nudge, when I get just a little perspective, I can see that I’m too wrapped up in my pain—I haven’t laughed in weeks. I want to change that. Humor—as I faintly recall—really feels good. It loosens me up. I forget about myself for a moment or two. It makes my life easier somehow (even when I feel like being somber). I could say that humor is therapeutic—but that would be taking it too seriously.

Today I will remember how good I feel when I laugh. I will look for the silly, the witty, the light-hearted, the absurd in my day.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

In losing a fortune, many a lucky elf has found Himself.

~ Horace Smith ~

By the time we walked into our first Twelve Step meeting many of us had a long list of the things we’d lost. But what had we gained?

Recovery and the Twelve Steps can help us put our losses in perspective, can show us their good sides. For some of us drinking or using drove our families away. For others gambling caused us to lose a fortune. For still others perhaps the losses weren’t so visible or dramatic, but they were losses all the same. For most of us the biggest loss was invisible, one we were numb to — the loss of ourselves.

So where is the good in any of that? Our suffering has deepened us, revealing our common bond with all humankind, and it has also emptied us of false values — it has shown us what matters. Our addictions reveal us for the truly spiritual people we are. We were searching for something back then, probably alone, with no notion of the consequences. Now we have a second chance to find ourselves, a Higher Power, and the love of others.

Today give me the strength to continue my search.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Sharing is sometimes more demanding than giving.

~ Mary Catherine Bateson ~

Not letting others see or know who you really are— your thoughts, feelings, dreams, past experiences, hobbies, and your wants and needs—is like spending hours climbing up a mountain and then stopping just short of the summit. Being outdoors, feeling the physical exertion of the climb, and ascending higher with each step are all enjoyable activities, but not bringing your journey to its intended destination shuts you off from being able to fully appreciate and understand the experience.

Similarly, spending time with others but keeping conversations limited to general topics is not sharing. Listening to the thoughts and feelings of others but being guarded with your own can deprive you of the full experience of emotional intimacy. Even though sharing with others can make you uncomfortable and is similar to taking a risk because you are entrusting them with your innermost thoughts and feelings, it is vital to building meaningful relationships.

Intimacy is a gift that can be as glorious and life- changing as reaching the top of a majestic summit. It can help you discover ways in which you are like others, foster greater trust and honesty in your relationships, help you to develop faith, and nurture healthy personal growth.

I risk intimacy so I can experience life in more meaningful ways.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

‘Tis pitiful the things by which we are rich or poor—a matter of coins, coats and carpets, a little more or less stone, wood or paint, the fashion of a cloak or hat. . . .

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

What are riches? Are they the luxurious feel of a mink coat, the weight of a bulging wallet, a filled jewelry box, or the size of a bank account or stock portfolio? Or are riches intangibles—things we cannot see or touch or earn or spend? Perhaps riches are happiness, serenity, and faith.

Recalling Dickens’s tale A Christmas Carol, we re-member that even with all the riches imaginable, Ebenezer Scrooge was miserable and friendless. The happiest and most contented man was Bob Cratchit, who was poor in wealth, had a crippled son and other children to feed and keep healthy. Yet his home and his heart were filled with love, peace, and faith.

We can ask our Higher Power for the greatest riches: peace and joy in our hearts and homes. We don’t need presents or luxurious finery to make us happy. To become richer, we need to open our hearts to the wealth of wonderful feelings around us.

Tonight, let me give thanks for the riches I have inside. Those are the greatest gifts I can receive from my Higher Power.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Living abundantly

Leaving our drug-filled lives and turning to our Creator in this fellowship does not mean becoming mindless, spiritless, sexless robots. It doesn’t mean all fun will be taken from us.

Being one with our Higher Power doesn’t take life away. It gives us the opportunity to live a life of abundance. We learn to think, feel, and breathe with more perception and depth than we could have ever before imagined.

Is my life full and rich?

Higher Power, let my eyes see the beauty, let my ears hear the laughter, let my body feel the joy, and let my words spread the hope.

Today I will enrich my life by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous, unpremeditated act unthout benefit of experience.

~ HENRY MILLER ~

Newcomer

I’ve made a wrong decision, and now I’m experiencing the consequences. I’m full of regret and shame—I don’t know how I’m going to live with myself.

Sponsor

Whether mistakes concern work, relationships, or any other aspect of our lives, we are not unique in making them. All of us, at times, have done or said things we wish we’d done differently. A cook learns through trial and error how to season a dish; a scientist explores what may turn out to be a blind alley as he or she attempts to prove a hypothesis; a ballplayer sometimes strikes out. Taking risks is necessary if any of us is to accomplish anything original or worthwhile.

Our mistakes are a part of our education in recovery. If we never made them, we might never know who we are, who we’d like to be, or how we want to act in the future. If our mistake has harmed another person or institution, we can acknowledge the error and do our best to make restitution. If it’s our own pride that we’ve harmed, we can take a deep breath and move on, wiser and more generous than we were before.

Today, I smile at mistakes, giving myself and others room to be human.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Any constructive program of living is a process of character building that lifts us above commonplace worldly affairs to the higher sphere of the soul.

In this way, the house of the soul becomes the temple of the God in us, a cathedral of the spirit, where you and God mutually reside in love and harmony.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Heal(ing): Numb is dumb; feel to heal.

2) Optimist/pessimist: Don’t be a W.C.S. person. That’s Worst Case scenario.

3) Simple: Important things are simple; it’s the simple things that are hard.

by Shelly Marshall

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Teach Me Your Will

Lord, take me from insanity;
Show me the way to serenity;
Remove my shortcomings;
Guide me toward forgiveness;
Remind me of my will;
Teach me Your will.
God, I ask that You love me until

I am able to love myself;
<>Believe in me as I learn to believe in You;
Trust me until I can trust completely in You;
Be with me now just as You have been
with me in the past.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

LIFE IS LIKE THAT

You form certain beliefs, for one reason or another—and then you have to live with them. When you were growing up, well-meaning people told you many negative things by way of warning, thereby implanting fears; and these fears are with you toddy, consciously or sub-consciously. Other problems you brought here with you when you were born.

You meet your fears dramatized. The things that we fear in our hearts have a way of coming to us in the guise of other people’s acts; of business conditions; of a breakdown in some part of the body.

Thank God it is not necessary as a rule to delve into the recesses of the subconscious and dredge for these things. In the spiritual teaching, as given in the Bible, we learn that by beating the symptoms spiritually (not, of course, covering up symptoms, but beating them) the fear or false suggestion that caused the symptom disappears too, and the patient is free.

Acquaint now thyself with him, and be at peace … (Job 22:21). 

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Well Adjusted

When we allow ourselves to feel our feelings, what should be intolerable becomes intolerable.

~ Kenny Loggins ~

In an experiment, scientists placed a group of frogs in a tub of water and heated the water. As the water became hot quickly, the frogs jumped out. In another experiment, the scientists put frogs in a similar tub and increased the heat by a few degrees each day. Daily, the frogs adapted and stayed in the pond until they died. Through gradually adjusting to an unnatural environment, they lost their sensitivity to pain and paid a dear price. This phenomenon is called “drift.”

We consider it admirable to be well adjusted, but the real question is: “Well adjusted to what?” If you are well adjusted to pain, conflict, and poverty thinking, you are not well adjusted at all. If, however, you are well adjusted to listening to your inner voice and acting on it, you are well adjusted, indeed.

We drift spiritually when we accept things that hurt us for so long that we lose our ability to feel pain. While pain is not our natural state or our destiny, and we are certainly not meant to live in pain, pain is the signal that we must make a change. We cannot afford to lose our ability to hear that signal.

To avoid drift, begin to tell the truth about your experience. If you let yourself feel your feelings, you will discover valuable messages that will guide you to be in your right place with the right people at the right time. Many people have told me they had a bad intuition about being in a relationship with someone or entering into a particular business venture, but they overrode their gut feelings and regretted it later. Your body will speak to you. Your gut may say, “Yes!” or “Not for you,” and it is up to you to hear and act on the voice of love and wisdom within you; it is your best friend.

Show me the way to my good. Help me hear Your guidance and act on it.