Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - December

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December 18

Step by Step

Today, if the holiday season is difficult or painful for alcoholics, I choose not to focus on the losses or reasons that make the season less than what it was in the past. I will not languish in the pain or mourn the losses of people who might once have been part of happier holidays, nor will I obsess in my guilt if my behavior contributed to this season not being what it could be. Instead, I will seek out examples of other people in greater need and want than I. If for no other reason than to force my attention off myself, I will volunteer for active work with a social service agency that helps people in need especially at this time of year, or to another cause that serves a cause other than my own. May I understand that my own pain, regret or losses is probably less than someone else’s, and I need to be grateful that mine are no greater. Today, I choose to seek a reason to celebrate and reject pain and sorrow. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ A YEAR OF MIRACLES ~ (Meditations Written by Members of Nicotine Anonymous) ~

Like life itself, the Steps are a process and a cycle.

~ NICOTINE ANONYMOUS: THE BOOK ~

A friend in recovery likes to describe the Steps as a circle that goes round and round, and can go either way depending on what is needed. I see so much progress at times in my life, and so much frustration at other times, even after many years of recovery.

I like the hammer; it works pretty well, but it can sure cause a lot of damage if used the wrong way. So what are the tools of the Program?

Having a sponsor and trusted friends in recovery 1 can be really honest with and not fear they will use my truth against me. This is so important, having a group or more than one group where I can reveal what is truly going on with me.

Not trying to use my group as a hunting ground for sexual or business purposes is very important for me, no matter how tempting that is at times.

Having a close, intimate, genuine relationship with a Higher Power I call God is so important in my recovery.

Trying to live life the way I believe God wants me to live and trying to promptly correct the wrongs I do.

Relying on and trusting that God has my best interests in mind, even though I do not know what that entails.

I can reach out to other people in recovery and share my “experience, strength and hope.” I volunteer to be of service, and reach out to new people with their inevitable struggles and lack of understanding. I practice recovery principles with everyone, including myself.

Today, I am grateful for the many tools and practices of our Program.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PAST MISTAKES

If you turn it over and don’t let go of it, you’ll be upside down.

~ Anonymous ~

A lot of unhappiness comes from dwelling on past mistakes and failures. Our Higher Power can do many things for us: remove a lifelong compulsion to drink, to drug, to overeat, to gamble; remove all kinds of character defects such as lying, cheating, stealing, adultery. God can determine many things, but our Higher Power cannot force us to accept our past. If we choose to walk around with shame and guilt about the past, that’s our choice.

It has been the collective wisdom of our Fellowship that many people have relapsed because they couldn’t let go and accept their past mistakes. We all, each one of us, were born imperfect. It is not surprising that this imperfection, along with our addiction, has caused us trouble along the way.

I learn how to live with my past mistakes by practicing and using the tools of my Program.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow,

~ Chinese proverb ~

Anger is a life force. It gives us energy and motivation. Like so many other things, it is not inherently good or evil. The key for us, as developing men, is how we use our anger.

We can all recall times when we felt the power of anger but handled our feelings badly. We popped off impulsively and were filled with regret. Or maybe we couldn’t admit our mistake and went to extremes to justify our bad behavior. Some of us have been so frightened by our own anger or someone else’s that now we avoid it at all costs.

As adult men we develop good ways to manage this power. We start by getting acquainted with anger so that we know it when it shows up. We aren’t ruled by it and we aren’t afraid to feel anger. This Chinese proverb doesn’t say to hide from anger. It says to begin with patience. Then we can form an effective way to handle anger so that we won’t have regrets.

Today I will accept my feeling of anger when they arise, and I will express them in constructive ways.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves they find their own order.

~ Eudora Welty ~

Recalling the distant past, or even last week, helps us realize how little we remember of the very events that compose our lives. We may vividly remember the slights we felt from others, the defeats, and the embarrassments, but the millions of ordinary details have vanished. Have they not a place in our histories too?

Getting a more balanced perspective on who we have been and who we are becoming is one of the rewards of this program. As we discover who we are in greater detail, we become more aware of the quiet moments in our lives. Events that seemed of little significance before can now enlighten us. Our personal and family histories have a part in who we struggle to become. Let’s honor all of them.

What may seem significant to me today may be less important in the years ahead. I’ll not pass judgment, but honor all of it as uniquely my own.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am sick and I need help

I remember when I finally hit bottom. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t seem to stay clean and sober. Nor could I ward off my sadness any longer—even by using. I felt like I was losing ground. My strength was low.

Odd as it sounds, even then, I sensed this wasn’t all bad. I was exhausted from struggling and losing; I had done all I could. I felt I was finally willing to give up (in a way)—especially my pride—and accept that I couldn’t do this on my own.

I will continue to ask friends or doctors or counselors for the help I know I need.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We are suspicious of grace.
We are afraid of the very lavishness of the gift.
But a child rejoices in presents!

~ Madeleine L’Engle ~

If we can read these words, grace has touched us. By the grace of God or nature or luck, we have been given the gift of literacy. If we can hold this book, we’ve been graced with hands that can create, caress, and carry. If we see these words, we have eyes that show us the world. If we’re reading at home or in a hospital or on a train, we are graced with a place to rest and live and be well.

Some of us ask, “Why did I have to get the disease of addiction?” yet forget to ask, “Why am I alive when other addicted people died before reaching recovery?” We’ll never know the answer. But we can be aware of the grace that surrounds us and be grateful for what we have.

Today let me be aware of grace. Let me focus on near misses survived rather than on wishes that didn’t come true.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Those who follow the crowd are quickly lost in it.

~ Author unknown ~

Children will often defend something they want to have or do by using the argument “But everyone else has it” or “All of my friends’ parents said they could do it.” As you well know, such arguments often fall on deaf ears, and parents make decisions and choices based on what they feel is right for the child and right for the family in general.

While it is important for you to follow the process of recovery, the tools of the program, and the guidance of your sponsor and others, it is equally important for you to develop your own voice, identify your own needs, and make choices and decisions that are right for you.

Sometimes it will be appropriate for you to “follow the crowd” as you recover. Other times it will be vital for you to create your own path and “go it alone” as you set goals and guidelines that address your particular set of circumstances. How you make reparations with your family members, partner, or children; how you rebuild your life in the community; and how you renew or revitalize your career will be unique for you. You can certainly embrace the similarities you have with others in the fellowship, but you also need to honor your differences.

I will develop independence in recovery.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The preservation of health is a duty. Few seem conscious that there is such a thing as physical morality.

~ Herbert Spencer ~

Do we realize we have an obligation to our bodies to stay healthy? Before we entered the program, we may have abused ourselves with chemicals, diets or binges, little sleep, or chains of cigarettes and coffee. Now that we’re in the program, we’re beginning to realize our mental health has a direct bearing on how we treat ourselves physically.

If we’ve been cooped up in an office or home, we need to pay attention to getting fresh air and exercise. We can go for a walk, meditate, or take a warm bath. We can eat a nutritious dinner and get to bed early for a good night’s sleep. Just as we have a moral obligation to our mental health, so too do we have a moral obligation to our physical health.

I can eat good foods, breathe in fresh air, and exercise for my best benefit. Tonight I will rest soundly to treat my physical health well.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Heeding the slogans

Our fellowship adheres to many slogans that might at first appear trite: Easy Does It, First Things First, Live and Let Live, One Day at a Time, Keep It Simple.

Many wise individuals developed these slogans from their experiences, and the phrases are anything but trite. The next time we hear them, let’s consider if they’re working in our lives. It may be the difference be-tween working a good program or just staying off the stuff.

Do I fully understand and appreciate the meanings of our slogans?

Higher Power, let me learn from the experiences of others.

The slogan I will create for today is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

To say something nice about themselves, this is the hardest thing in the world for people to do.

~ NANCY FRIDAY ~

Newcomer

Someone paid me a compliment recently, and my response was to disagree! I’m surprised; I thought I’d learned self-esteem in this program. But I’m still embarrassed when people call attention to what’s good about me, even when I share their opinion.

Sponsor

When I was active in my addiction, my drug of choice sometimes felt like a protective cloak—it kept me hidden from myself, and I somehow believed that no one else could see me, either. In early recovery, I felt self-conscious sharing at meetings and embarrassed to be myself in public I thought that invisibility—if only it were possible—would keep me safe from criticism. Criticism was what I’d long ago learned to expect from others, and what I most often leveled at myself.

Like so much else in recovery, it takes time to stop the habit of being harsh with ourselves and to learn to accept and love ourselves unconditionally. Celebrating our anniversaries and acknowledging our large and small victories when we share at meetings help us practice living in the open and savoring the joys of recovery. A sense of inner poise gradually grows within us. We develop generosity toward ourselves, as well as toward others. It’s part of knowing who we really are.

Today, I view myself with love and generosity.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We must work out our spiritual development in our own way and according to our conception of the God of our understanding.

Our success or failure will be deter-mined by the honesty of our efforts and the fidelity with which we practice our convictions.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Opinion(s): There is a difference between sharing our experience and imposing our opinions.

2) Simple: Appreciate simplicity.

3) Working with Others: Carry the message, not the drunk.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

God Is Enough

Lord, I am grateful that when I got to the bottom and there was nothing left but You, I found that You were enough. My surrender and growing spirituality grant me serenity when surrounded with turmoil. I have an active concern for the well-being of other people. My spiritual growth has helped me, through my attitudes and actions, to better live with myself, You, and others.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

LOSING INTEREST IN OUTER THINGS?

It happens to some students of prayer who are especially zealous, giving much time to study and meditation, and making more than average progress, that a time comes when their ordinary daily work begins to seem dull, tiresome, and really not worthwhile. Such a person may actually have a very important and interesting position, which most people would consider ideal; but now he is no longer content or happy. He would like to throw up business life altogether and devote all his time to his spiritual development.

The healing of this problem is first to know that a great many people have to meet it. It is not at all uncommon or peculiar to one person; and those who have it always come through it and find themselves happier than ever before because this particular difficulty only happens to wholehearted and zealous people. Such people usually spend too much time in prayer and meditation, and become waterlogged.

Having come through that stage they always find themselves more interested in their business than ever before; they do much better work, and at the same time they progress much faster in their spiritual lives, and have a great deal more power in prayer than they ever had before.

I know that thou canst do everything, and that no thought can be withholden from thee (Job 42:2).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Traveling Light

To stand up, to leave everything behind—to say “Yes!”

~ Dag Hammarskjold ~

Peace Pilgrim was a woman of great faith who changed the world in a unique way. At the age of 45, she let go of her history and set out to walk for peace, keeping no possessions except a toothbrush, a pencil and pad, and the clothes she wore, including a blue tunic bearing the large white letters, Peace Pilgrim. She vowed that she would not eat unless offered food, she would seek no lodging unless it was given, and she would give love to everyone she met. Peace Pilgrim often slept under bridges and stood in the rain. After a while, she became a legend, and when she entered a city, the media would interview her and she would be asked to speak to school and civic groups.

Peace Pilgrim’s message of kindness and compassion was compelling, and without creating any organization or charging any fees for her services, she inspired many thousands of people. Before her death, she walked over 30,000 miles. I saw a video of a television interview with Peace Pilgrim, and her eyes were bright, joyful, and among the clearest I have ever seen. While she had hardly any physical means, she was wealthy beyond measure.

How much stuff do you actually need? Do the things you have make you happy, or are they weights on your soul? If you were promised great peace and freedom by lightening up on your possessions, would you do it?

Our possessions are valuable inasmuch as they bring us joy or serve our spiritual growth. There is nothing wrong with having things, but if the things bring you down, you cannot afford them. Consider the things in your life that bring you closer to God and the things that move you away from Spirit. Then go about the business of blessing what heals you and releasing what binds you.

Teach me how to live in this world. Give me the strength to travel lightly.

I use what I need and release all else.