Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - December

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December 16

Step by Step

Today, I will not empower anyone so strongly that their perception or opinion about me determines my sense of self-worth and security in myself and, especially, the quality of my recovery. In recovery, I can’t believe my purpose is to be everything to everyone or to meet the standards they set down. The reason for recovery is to stop drinking or using and atone for any injury and hurt I might have imposed in my drinking days. In some cases, amends may not possible nor can I control if my amends will be accepted. If I find someone is unduly harsh or critical of what I am in recovery, I can first ask if the criticism is warranted and whether I should work harder on a character defect. But if I find that the criticism is not justified, I can either take it with a grain of salt or ask if the person being unduly judgmental is someone I need even care about. If I can say honestly that my program has made me a better person and I am continuing to work the steps toward being a better person, I can believe I am at a secure place in recovery. Today, my self-confidence will be based on an honest look at where I am in recovery, not on what someone thinks. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.,

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~ A YEAR OF MIRACLES ~ (Meditations Written by Members of Nicotine Anonymous) ~

Even if one glimpses God, there are still cuts and splinters and burns— No wall or avoidance or denial can keep the rawness of life from running through us.

~ MARK NEPO ~

There are some days when the best I can do is make it through the day without using nicotine. There are days when after eight years of recovery I feel so raw and burned I feel like nothing is worth anything. Then by the grace of God I bounce back and feel grateful and healed and ready to go.

I am grateful those bad days are short-lived. In the addiction period of my life those dark clouds would cover me for weeks or months or years, with suicidal storms passing through. Since recovery and practicing the Twelve Steps I have a daily reprieve from the worst of it.

But I still get those days. Sharing with my home groups in recovery, my sponsor, and God helps pull me out of the negativity which seems so familiar to me. 1 am reminded that the rawness of life runs through me at times and that is OK, to be accepted and embraced as the way life is for me. Was I trying to run away from life’s fullness when I was using nicotine?

Today, I am grateful to live free of addiction, truly experiencing all of life and enjoying the adventure.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

DON’T JUDGE

Don’t judge anyone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.

~ Anonymous ~

God did not make different classes of human beings. It has taken mankind several thousand years to understand this fact. Even now, the understanding is not always practiced. We learn in our recovery that we are all equal in our ability to be human.

Recovery from our disease does not free us from being human. It gives us a way of life to deal with this fact. For there to be serenity and peace in our lives, we have to learn to accept our humanness.

If people act as we think they shouldn’t, then we have to change the way we think. It is just that simple. The acceptance we seek goes beyond things and events. The Serenity Prayer also refers to people as well as things. We are really asking our Higher Power to accept people as they are. We can’t change them.

Today, I’ll remember to live and let live. This removes me from the position of judging others.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

You must do the thing you cannot do.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

We are faced with what we cannot do. We are up against a stone wall. A fundamental wisdom about adulthood is that we have not grown up until we grasp our powerlessness and accept its lessons. Easy answers from the immature and inexperienced tell us to buck up, never give in, and do it alone. Every adult faces this wall in his life, whether he is an addict or codependent or not. If he hasn’t faced it or doesn’t accept it, he has not yet truly grown into manhood.

When we have tried every tactic and every control maneuver to manage what we cannot change, there is another option. We can accept that we are powerless to change the stone wall. This acceptance feels like defeat at first. But it also makes us wiser and leads to deeper insight about life. In the Twelve Step program, surrender is only the first Step to a new beginning. We are next led to a spiritual connection that makes the impossible possible. Out of the collapse of our old ways can rise a new way of life—and a new man.

Today I am grateful that I was guided out of despair into new possibilities.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

It is how much love we put in the doing that makes our offering something beautiful.

~ Mother Teresa ~

Mother Teresa’s words aren’t new to most of us. Program sponsors often suggest this idea to us too. What we give comes back to us.

We often note people who excel on the job, in a sport, at a creative pursuit. We may envy them and think we should excel at everything we try. Why are we so lacking in talent? we wonder.

We have not been shortchanged. The truth is, we may not have learned to concentrate our attention so fully on an activity that we come to love the experience simply for the sake of the experience. Those who excel are not easily distracted by others’ actions or their own ongoing inner dialogues or fear of failure. Their intense focus and love for what they are doing allows their talent to be realized.

When we’re putting love into our actions, we, too, will discover our own excellence.

It’s not what I do but how I do it that counts. Being in love with my life today is a choice I can make.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am gaining some perspective

I was feeling angry and sad, so I got together with some friends. I thought that simply being with other people would help. But I still felt empty and distant. To top it off, I started feeling sorry for myself because I didn’t get what I wanted or expected. And then I felt guilty because I wasn’t much fun to be around.

But after meditating for a while, I saw my emotions in a different light and I realized three things: (a) Because my friends were willing to get together with me, I know they accept and support me. (This idea feels good.) (b) Maybe I can’t “fix” my moods; maybe I need to accept them for a while. (I don’t like this notion, but it helps to be realistic.) (c) Even though my expectations were not met, I learned something. My attitude is changing for the better. *

The next time I feel bad about something I’ve done (or not done), I will take a time-out to meditate and improve my perspective and self-understanding.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Every moment that I am centered in the future, I suffer a temporary loss of this life.

~ Hugh Prather ~

For the most part we find that leaving the pre-sent moment for some future projection leads to frustration. We need to make necessary plans for future events, but idly pondering life’s outcomes often converts our present into negative experiences. We lose a piece of today in the process. And we risk sabotaging our recovery by igniting fear and anxiety.

Old habits can be attractive. We used to feel comfortable worrying about the future, or fantasizing about it. This was our escape from an unhappy present, and it ensured that the present remained unhappy. Now we are facing life in the present, and, for the sake of our recovery, we can’t afford to abandon this moment.

When we remember that this one day is really all we have, live it with a sense of trust, and give it our full attention, we are living our lives to the fullest. This is the ever-present gift of recovery that is ours every day.

Today let me live my only moment — the present.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Rest is not a matter of doing absolutely nothing. Rest is repair.

~ Daniel W. Josselyn ~

The phrase “positive addiction” refers to those activities that have positive benefits to their pursuit: a hobby, following the game schedule of a favorite sports team, exercise, and volunteer work. But as you know from your own addiction, too much of anything can be harmful.

Whenever your focus and energy are committed to things in ways that cause you to neglect the people and responsibilities in your life, everyone suffers. Even being obsessive about the number of meetings you attend in a week or being overly committed to serving the fellowship can put the people in your life and your personal and professional responsibilities on a back burner.

Today think about how much time you spend in activities and pursuits you enjoy, and how much time you spend taking care of your responsibilities. Are they in balance?

Too, develop greater awareness of all of your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. For example, pay attention to how your body feels. There will be days in which you feel energized and vigorously engage in exercise or activity. There will also be days in which you need to still your body so your muscles and your mind can be rested.

I will pay attention to my mind, body, and spirit. Each day I will seek to create a healthy balance between activity and rest.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Some days confidence shrinks to the size of a pea, and the backbone feels like a feather. We want to be somewhere else, and don’t know where—want to be someone else and don’t know who.

~ Jean Hersey ~

Who are we? Where are we going? What do we like? Are we happy? What do we want from life?

These certainly are not easy questions to answer. In fact, we may have been struggling with the answers for a long time. We, who thought we knew ourselves so well, are now finding we aren’t who we believed we were. We are so much more, but we may not be able to put our finger on the so much more.

I am just starting to discover who I am. I may not have all the answers tonight, but I know so much more than I did before.

We may never get to answer all the questions. For some of us, the answers may change on a daily or even hourly basis. We are just starting to learn who we are without the definitions of people, alcohol or other drugs, or any other addiction. The process of finding out who we are takes time and patience and a whole lot of change from the way we used to be. The answers, like the questions, will come to us when we’re ready.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Honesty

We have to learn to be rigorously honest with ourselves. If we can’t be honest with ourselves, we can’t be honest with others, we can’t be honest with our Higher Power, and we can’t expect to change.

If we call a cab to one address, and we are, in fact, at another, we can’t expect the driver to find us much less pick us up. So it is with our Higher Power. If we ask to be healed of something but mistake our malady for another, we can’t expect the change we’d hoped for.

We have to begin listening to how we re-ally feel. Most of us have very tricky heads but very honest guts!

Do I acknowledge my gut-level honesty?

Higher Power, help me to know where I’m really at and to accept it.

Today I will explore my gut reactions to things by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

there is nothing between me and my soul but myself.

~ JANE MEAD ~

Newcomer

Certain situations in my life are putting a lot of pressure on me. I’m lonely and frustrated. I don’t want to act out my addiction today, and I don’t want to be preached to.

Sponsor

There are times when recovery seems to be the only thing we can rely on. Nothing seems to be going our way. No one seems to understand. We feel as if we’ve already heard it all, and well-intentioned advice only makes us feel more alone with whatever is troubling us. We feel self-protective, perhaps somewhat defiant, as we declare in meetings that we don’t want any help today. Our declaration, though it’s intended to ward people off, is also a way of letting others in recovery know what we’re going through; it is evidence of a certain degree of trust in ourselves and others.

Recovery, at such times, doesn’t seem to be the source of happiness, joy, and freedom that we’ve felt it to be. Still, recovery has become so deeply ingrained in us by now that it almost feels as if it is us. We know that returning to active addiction won’t make whatever it is we’re feeling disappear. Some part of us knows that the deep discomfort we’re feeling today will prove to be temporary, if we stay in recovery.

Today, I acknowledge the transformation in my life that has eliminated active addiction as an option. No matter what happens, no matter what I’m feeling, I can count on my commitment to recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Every alcoholic has at one time or another had such a load of troubles that there was surely no prospect of his ever being happy again.

On the other hand, there were moments of ectasy that were so great that our lives seemed completely filled and no cloud could ever possibly enter our lives again.

Both conditions existed only a brief while, until another mood appeared. Both, to a great extent, are products of our state of mind. Unhappiness can be guarded against and happiness can be cultivated.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Simple: An alcoholic is an individual who takes the most simple program and works on It until he has eventually reduced it to its most complicated form.

2) Working with Others: Carry the message, don’t carry the drunk; however, if necessary, carry the drunk to the message.

3) STANDARD ACRONYMS: YANA: You Are Not Alone

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

A Peaceful Pace

Today, God, help me focus on a peaceful pace rather than a harried one. I will keep moving forward gently, not frantically. Help me let go of my need to be anxious, upset, and harried. Help me replace it with a need to be at peace and in harmony.

~ From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, page 90 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

MAKE IT WORK

Buy thy truth, and sell it not; also wisdom and instruction, and understanding (Proverbs 23:23).

All you have of Truth is what you understand of it—and what you understand you always demonstrate. It naturally follows from this that the only way to improve yourself and your conditions is to gain an increase in understanding. And the only way to gain an increase in understanding is to make practical use of the Truth you already know. Knowledge that you do not actually use is only intellectual knowledge and is barren, and even that fades out in time through lack of use.

You will never demonstrate or progress on mere theories that you have not put to the test. You will never demonstrate or grow spiritually on what is in a textbook or a lecture until you have begun to put such knowledge into practice. It is far better to have a thimbleful of spiritual knowledge and use it than to have a whole mountain of correct spiritual doctrine most of which you have never made work.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Beyond Coincidence

A coincidence is a miracle in which God wishes to remain anonymous.

~ Dr. Gerald Jampolsky ~

“You may have noticed that the airplane didn’t land,” the pilot announced to the passengers. Of course they did. The plane came within a few feet of touching down on the Chicago runway and lifted off again. “That is because another plane was on the runway and there wasn’t room for both of us.” Good thinking. “We’ll circle around and land again in a few minutes.” During that time, my friend Charley struck up a conversation with the couple sitting across the aisle. When John and Bari mentioned that they had just bought land in Hawaii, Charley told them that he and I were about to conduct a seminar there. Charley told them about my book and wished them well. At home in Boulder, John and Bari found my book, signed up for the seminar, discovered they had just enough frequent-flyer miles to make the trip, attended the program, had their lives change immensely, and moved to their property two miles from my home.

How marvelously Spirit orchestrates life! Who put Charley, John, and Bari next to each other on the aircraft? Why did that particular airplane have to abort its landing? How did their frequent-flyer award work out perfectly? How does it all come together? Ah, the sweet mystery of God! If anyone sat down to try to maneuver the miraculous meetings and events in a lifetime, he or she would be boggled in an instant. Meanwhile, every day a billion synchronicities keep the great cogs and wheels of the universe running flawlessly.

Great Spirit, I bow before the mystery of Your wisdom. I quit trying to manipulate life, and trust You to keep me in my right place at the right time, meeting the right people for the right purpose. Thank You for Your exquisite love.

I rejoice in the loving wisdom of God in my life.