Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - December

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December 15

Step by Step

Today, I guard against associating the quantity of my sobriety with its quality. If my recovery consists only of not drinking and I have not tended to my emotional and spiritual diseases, I am little more than a dry drunk. Further, I need to understand and appreciate the truth that ours is a day-to-day reprieve and that weeks, months and even years without drinking is no guarantee that I won’t slip or relapse today. Even if my own sobriety dates several 24 Hours, let me understand that I am no more sober than the person whose last drink was 24 Hours ago and, likewise, that person is no less sober than I. But, if my own sobriety is several 24 Hours, let me also accept and respect the responsibility to the program. I may be asked to carry the message to someone who needs and seeks it. To that extent, I owe the program the integrity of my sobriety and pass it on to whoever seeks it. Today, I am sober 24 Hours. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ A YEAR OF MIRACLES ~ (Meditations Written by Members of Nicotine Anonymous) ~

The door to wisdom is never shut.

~ BENJAMIN FRANKLIN ~

I believe with all my heart and soul that God is doing for me what I could not do for myself to allow me to live free of addiction and do so much more in my life.

When I was a teenager, around age sixteen, I started using nicotine and about the same time quit going to church and praying. I decided I did not believe in the church I was raised in and almost subconsciously threw out believing in God. I gave up God and figured I could live by my own power. This proved to be a huge mistake. I did not realize I could give up the human church and go directly to God.

This mistake cost me dearly with years of chemical addiction, depression, suicidal negativity and wasted years.

I am so grateful that the Twelve Steps, people in recovery, and God brought me back to a spiritual path. I feel the power of my Higher Power and my faith in service and kindness.

Today, I dance to God’s songs of gratitude and joy and living “one day at a time” free of addiction.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SERVANTS

A servant who made service seem divine.

~ Longfellow ~

The recognition of the fact that we have servants to make growth possible is one of the first great discoveries that developed when we joined a 12-Step Group. These servants are as genuine as the sense of love that makes us truly sharing and caring people. Without the emotional servants that make possible changes in attitudes, we could never reach a new style in living. These servants are positive and active.

If the first thing we hear when we reach for recovery is “let us love you until you can learn to love yourself,” the second may well be, “honesty begins within your own self.” We recognize a long list or helping hands that join in steering us toward a comfortable recovery. These hands join in helping us find the way toward that wonderful destination.

My servants are the tools I find when I enter my Program. Some of them are called gratitude, perseverance, vigilance, belief, humility, tolerance, and acceptance. I must count the many, many more.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A problem is a chance for you to do your best.

~ Duke Ellington ~

The nature of life is that we are consistently faced with problems. We don’t directly choose the puzzle that presents itself to us, but we choose how we will respond to it. The puzzles we get and the responses we choose shape the kind of man we become. Some of us are tempted to balk at our circumstances and refuse to deal with them. We get stuck on the idea that it isn’t fair for us to have our particular problem, and we want to quit trying.

Sometimes, facing the fact that we cannot change a problem and accepting it is the highest form of character. Other times, digging deep within ourselves to pull up the best we can muster and facing a difficult challenge turns us into a better man than we knew we could be. The challenge itself is the inspiration that brings out our best.

Today I will accept the problems I face and give them the best I can muster.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

It takes two to tango, and my husband and I tangoed for nearly sixty-three years.

~ Thelma Elliott ~

Spending time with another human being means having plentiful opportunities for compromise and artful negotiation. It also means putting another’s needs and wants before our own on occasion. To fruitfully share even portions of our lives, we must be willing to be available to each other.

We weren’t created to be sole survivors, independent of other people. We have been introduced to many individuals because of the path we are meant to travel together. Our significant other is one of those from our community of travelers. With that person, we have the opportunity to learn new truths and to grow in wisdom about the art of vulnerability and compromise. No doubt, the most profound of our lessons is learning to let go.

The gift of learning how to let go is that we can apply it everywhere once we’ve come to understand its power in our lives. And our dance with others will never be the same.

I will be willing to back away from a tense encounter today. I don’t need my way to be okay.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can change

When I was using I did not like how I felt or how I behaved. I suppose I continued to use because (a) part of me always believed it would be different the next time, (b) it was familiar, and (c) I thought it kept me safe (even though it caused serious problems at the same time). When I got into dual recovery, I just wanted relief from my psychiatric symptoms, my emotional pain. I wasn’t looking to become a “better” person.

And yet through recovery meetings, therapy (and short-term medication), not only do I feel relief, but I am growing and developing as a person. I feel it especially as I work Step Seven and ask that my shortcomings be removed. I am open to change. I don’t know how I’ll change through this Step, but I trust my higher power that all will be well.

I will write out the Seventh Step Prayer (p. 76 in the Big Book) and carry it with me.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.

~ Albert Einstein ~

We’ve been hurt more than once in our lives. And more than once we’ve wondered, “Why me?” We may also have wondered why a person we trusted could hurt us so, or why someone else behaves the way they do. We may wonder when it will all stop and we won’t be hurt, puzzled, or caught unawares any more.

Only God knows the answers to those questions. And we can choose to let God take care of us while we embrace the mystery of our lives. It’s enough of a task just to live each day to the fullest without also trying to figure out things we’re not able to know.

In many ways, we are lucky. We’re alive, we aren’t starving. We’ve found a recovery program to help us rebuild our lives, and we have survived the trials of life so far. What more could we ask?

Now our task is to enjoy, to grow more fully human, to explore the mysterious; not to take it apart and know it, but to enjoy God’s work.

Today let me accept what I don’t understand.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The Belly and the Members

One day it occurred to many members of the body that they were doing all the work and the belly was having all the food. So the members decided to go on strike until the belly agreed to share in the work.

But after a week had passed, the other members began to feel strange. They discovered they could not perform any of the work they had previously done. The hands could hardly move. The mouth was parched and dry. The eyelids began to droop. The mind felt jumbled. And the legs found themselves unable to support the rest of the members.

What they discovered is that the belly had been working all along. Even though its work was done quietly, what it accomplished was of benefit to all of the body’s members. Without it, none would be able to function.

The moral of the story: All must work together.

If each member in recovery decided to focus solely on individual needs and desires, there would be no unity, no support, and no outreach. The fellowship is one based on unity, made whole by its many members.

I honor and support the work of others, as they honor and sup-port the work that I do.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When you pray for God’s guidance, don’t complain when it is different from your preference.

~ Our Daily Bread ~

When we were children we sat on Santa’s lap with our lists, or asked the tooth fairy for more money, or begged the Easter Bunny for more candy, or prayed to God for that shiny red bike we wanted. Yet we usually ended up with things we didn’t even ask for, but needed, like warm jackets and winter boots or pajamas.

Today we may still pray to God for things we want. Maybe not shiny red bikes, but shiny new cars, more money, better jobs, greater security, or the health of loved ones. Our prayers might not be answered in the way we’d like them to be. We may never win a lottery, we may lose a promotion, or we may experience the death of a loved one.

Yet what we are given is what God feels we need. Though we may be sad or disappointed, those things help us grow in the way we need. Sometimes we may get just what we pray for, and that’s wonderful. But if we don’t get what we ask for, we must remember that what we get is the gift God feels we need. 

I can pray for guidance without any expectations. I know I will get what I need.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Gaining understanding

Most of us have things happen in our lives that we don’t understand. Many things we’ll probably never understand and may not need to understand.

We have the most to gain by trying to understand recurring negativity. We can get insight from the fellowship, from the Steps, and from our sponsors. The cycle can be broken if we unmask old ideas and habits that initiate the recurrent misfortunes. When we understand the problem, we overcome it by seeking the seed of opportunity within.

How well do I understand myself?

Higher Power, help me to give up ideas and habits that lead me down my old path time and time again.

Today I will look at the problems and negativity in my life and seek to understand them by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

We say: made with joy. We should say: wise with grief.

~ MARGUERITE YOURCENAR ~

Newcomer

I’ve seen some movies lately that weren’t very good, but that had a powerful impact on me anyway. One, a horror movie, really scared me, and one was a sentimental movie that made me cry. Neither film was even very believable, but I got emotionally involved. What’s happening to me?

Sponsor

First, let me reassure you that your mind is working as well as, or better than, ever. When we’re not dulling or depressing ourselves with addictive substances and behaviors, our thinking becomes clearer and sharper.

However, we may also find ourselves more responsive to emotional stimuli in recovery than before. An event that seems to have nothing to do with us—a film, a news item, another person’s triumph or tragedy—triggers tears, laughter, or feelings of fear or anger. Often, this triggering event is not the true source of our feelings. The tears we shed in response to a scene in a film may be releasing some of our old, accumulated sadness. It’s nearer the surface, easier to tap into, when we’re ready to begin letting it go.

Our feelings are freer to flow, now that they’re not blocked by addiction. Emotional release is necessary and natural.

Today, I am in touch with my feelings and unafraid to express them.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Faith is a fundamental requisite of success in retaining our sobriety — faith in God, faith in the Program, and faith in ourselves.

It can be likened to swimming: Every normal person can swim, if he has faith in the laws of buoyancy and allows himself to be submerged enough. Those people who cannot swim are those who are afraid of the water and try to raise themselves above it.

Faith in the laws of Nature and in yourself enables you to swim, and a like faith in God, the Program and yourself, will enable you to achieve our way of living.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Drink(ing,): Every alcoholic’s favorite brand: More!

2) Heal(ing): God will heal your broken heart, if you will give Him all the pieces.

3) Opinion(s): The character of God is not determined by your opinion of Him/Her.

by Shelly Marshall

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Procrastination

Higher Power, it was so easy to put things off during my addiction. I pray to remember that postponing facing up to reality is really self-pity in action. When I procrastinate about solving problems, I am only making the problems worse. Let me remember that solutions come from taking action. I pray to stop wasting precious time.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOU CANNOT HAVE BOTH

You cannot have your cake, and eat it too.

You cannot have peace of mind, and have your ailment too.

You cannot have a sense of divine Love, and have your jittery nervousness too.

You cannot have a feeling of toleration and kindliness and faith, and have your digestive troubles too.

You cannot have harmony continually unfolding in your life, and enjoy gossip and criticism too.

You cannot have power in prayer, and the luxury of resentment and condemnation too.

You cannot build a new consciousness and a new body, and live mentally in the dead past too.

…choose you this day whom ye will serve…but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord (Joshua 24:15).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

I Forgot

The past is over; it can touch me not.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

An old and sour priest in the Philippines heard of a woman who was reputed to speak to Jesus daily. In an effort to discredit Rosa, he asked her, “Do you really speak to Jesus?”

“I do,” she answered in a matter-of-fact way.

“Then the next time you talk to him, would you ask him what was the sin that I committed when I was a young man in the seminary—”

”Come back in one week, and I will have your answer,” Rosa told him. The priest left smugly, knowing that Rosa would be unable to answer and be exposed as a fraud.

A week later the priest returned and asked her, “Did you talk to Jesus?”

“I did.”

“And did you ask him how I sinned in the seminary?”

“I did.”

“And what did he tell you?”

“He said, ‘I forgot.’”

Real forgiveness is the complete and utter letting go of past memories that hurt. What the world calls forgiveness is a trick of the mind. We make “sin” real in our mind, and then proclaim to overlook it. But any memory of the act as an offense ensures continued subconscious pain and separation. We bury the hatchet, but then we remember where we buried it.

I know a couple who have been happily married for many years. I asked them, “What is the secret of your successful relationship?” The wife laughed and answered, “Just get over it! We can’t afford to hold on to the past. We just keep letting go and coming fully into the present moment with each other.”

We are told to “forgive and forget.” They are one in the same.

Help me to release the pain I have carried, and to live in the present moment where love abides.

I renounce the past and come fully into the love here now.