Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - December

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December 12

Step by Step

“What alcoholic can live with rejection? How devastating, too, are the subsequent feelings of inadequacy and self-pity. There’s only one answer – liquid comfort. The unwillingness to admit failure requires even further friendly intake. It becomes vital, also, that others not know of our defeats nor suspect our loss of confidence.”- Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 3 (“Those Golden Years”), p 331.

Today, a drinking alcoholic cannot accept or live with rejection – but a recovering alcoholic can. With the Program, I see now that what is “rejected” is not my entire being but only what I have said and done. And when I was ill-equipped as a drinking alcoholic to learn, the steps of AA alert me when I am wrong, to promptly admit it and how not to respond verbally with emotion but with logic. Few are the feelings of absolute rejection. I am sober now, though, and I can see with the vision AA has provided that I do not have to perceive a “no” to be a total rejection of my whole being but only in what I have said or done. In the end, I am a member of AA, and the Program rejects no one. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.,

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~ A YEAR OF MIRACLES ~ (Meditations Written by Members of Nicotine Anonymous) ~

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

~ MARK TWAIN ~

My selfishness is the root of my troubles, before and after recovery. I was such a selfish smoker, expecting non-smokers to accept my smoke in their air. I was irritated when a friend put a sign asking people not to smoke in her work area, thinking how selfish she was. I was angry when the company eventually banned smoking from the workplace except in designated areas. My brother is still this way, and it drives me away from him now that I am free of tobacco.

In recovery I see in my Step Ten inventories my selfishness is still very much with me. It comes out in fear, self-pity, jealously, and many other ways. And yes, subtly when I step on the toes of my fellows they retaliate in their own ways, if only to steer clear of me.

Today, I will ask God to relieve me of the bondage of self and allow me to be of loving service.

Nicotine Anonymous World Services

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

DEFECTS

The greatest of all faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.

~ Pliny ~

One of the first things we heard in our Program was that we probably had defects of character. We first admitted we were powerless over a substance or behavior. Then we learned that those who believed they had no faults of character were mistaken. Little progress could be made without looking at our defects of character.

Such a self-analysis, in order to be thorough, must include assets. But the big challenge is to understand our faults and to use the other Steps of the Program to get rid of them. We are not, never were, and never will be candidates for sainthood. We never try to be perfect, but give continual attention to character growth.

By doing my inventory on a daily basis, I make myself aware of my character defects and what I need to do to grow out of them.

by Anonymous

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

There are some defeats more triumphant than victories.

~ Michel de Montaigne ~

The spiritual path is filled with paradox. One example is the word defeat, which has a bad reputation. In recovery we learn that brokenness can be the beginning of changes for the better. Sometimes the drive of our ego takes us on a very exciting but destructive ride. Only in defeat do we open our eyes and begin to understand the deeper truth and go in a direction that fits our better self. That is every man’s story in recovery. Out of defeat we find a new form of triumph.

This may be a day in which we face particular worries or losses. Our first thoughts are about the pain and difficulty—we don’t yet know what we need to learn from them. We only need to stay focused on the kind of man we choose to be. From that will come the wisdom and the wherewithal to create the kind of life we will feel good about.

Today I am grateful for the sustaining power of this spiritual life and will stay focused on the kind of man I choose to be.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

When you are down, get back up and fight!

~ Iris Timberlake ~

Our attitude determines how we handle every experience. If we feel defeated by circumstances— say we’ve lost a job or a friend has abandoned us— we will not be ready for the next opportunity our Higher Power has in store for us. No door is ever closed without another one being opened. However, if we are focused on what’s no longer ours, we’ll miss what can be.

This is not to say we shouldn’t grieve our losses. In order to accept them, we must feel them. Then we need to get back on our feet and go on with this moment, this day, this life. Not to do so is to deny trust in one’s Higher Power. The Third Step promises that we have a caring God in charge. Yesterday’s closed doors didn’t mean our lives were over. Nor will today’s.

I will relish the strength I feel today when I remember that God is opening (and closing) all the right doors for me.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I have not one, but two illnesses

I knew I had a problem with drugs—I kept losing jobs by going to work high. But it wasn’t until later, when I finally got into treatment, that my doctor diagnosed my psychiatric illness.

In treatment I learned that I have two no-fault illnesses, addiction and depression. I learned that I need to stay clean and sober, and I need to stay stable with my psychiatric illness. To do this I am now taking medication and learning healthy ways to cope with the symptoms of my biological illness. It’s hard to accept a dual disorder, but now that I know what my problems are, it is easier to do what I need to do to recover.

I will attend a Twelve Step meeting that supports dual recovery and stay in touch with my personal and professional helpers.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I have more memories than if I were a thousand years old.

~ Charles Baudelaire ~

Inside us we carry our entire lives imprinted like photographs. And like photographs, these memories can bring back all the feelings we experienced at the time. They’re all locked away, the good times and the bad.

During active addiction and sometimes in early recovery we tend to remember only the bad times. We created such unhappy lives that it became easy for us to hate ourselves. We seemed to punish ourselves by dwelling only on the bad times, our faults, shames, and sins.

But now we’re finding the other side of life again, the positive and joyful experiences of yesterday and today. When we need inspiration we can tap into all the good that’s come to us. Like a photograph, it’s all there for us to enjoy again — a special family gathering, sunset over a church steeple, the face of a special friend, mountains at twilight, the first time we saw our newborn children. It’s all there, waiting and ready, our own personal album of positive experiences for us to draw on. It’s a part of us that comes back more and more as our recovery progresses.

Today let me remember the good times instead of the bad. Let me focus on joy instead of pain.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We are what we think.

~ Buddha ~

When you learn there are members of your fellowship who are using again, you may wonder what they were thinking about before they made the decision to drink. “Why did they choose to throw away all the work they have done and all the progress they have made?” Those who relapse often do so because they have been over-whelmed by the slick talk of the Demon of Denial. Like the sirens of lore who, with their beautiful singing, lured ships to crash into treacherous rocks, the Demon provides seductive enticement.

At this time of year, the Demon uses the upcoming holidays as a good excuse to resume drinking. But the Demon also entices with other excuses: stress, family dynamics, finances, an illness in the family, or the anniversary of the death of a parent or loved one. The Demon is skilled at convincing recovering alcoholics that because their life is better now, it was not their drinking but something or someone else that created past problems.

Beware of the Demon! It can show up at the most un-expected times to push, prod, and influence. Resist the Demon whenever you feel its presence by enlisting help from your sponsor.

I will beware and be aware of the Demon of Denial.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour.

~ Japanese proverb ~

For the next hour, how will we act or feel? Will we toss and turn filled with fear and worry over the night? Will we be anxious and stressed over our day’s activities and unable to sleep? Will we feel lonely and abandoned in our isolation? Or will we be able to sleep peacefully?

If we let this next hour determine how we would feel for the rest of our lives, which feelings would we choose? We might find it easy to let go of the negative feelings we feel right now if we knew we’d have to feel that way all the time.

For the next hour, we can choose how we want to feel just as if we were making a permanent character mold. Chances are we want a good night’s sleep, so we can face the new day relaxed and filled with good feelings. Then we can approach the day an hour at a time, maintaining those positive feelings. Imagine what good we can feel if we look at our lives as a series of hours that can be changed and improved as each one is completed!

For the next hour, I would like to relax and begin a peaceful night’s sleep. Then I can face tomorrow in a positive mood.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Dealing with turmoil

Our emotional reactions to people and events—not the people and events them-selves—are the source of our turmoil and strife. Other people don’t make our lives un-bearable. The turmoil is not in the event but in our reaction to it.

If a friend slips and falls, do we react with, “Look what you’ve done to me”? Most likely, we’ll offer a helping hand and some compassion. We don’t take the happening personally. When we’re upset or frustrated with others, we can choose to fill our hearts with anger, sadness, pain or—in the spirit of our Higher Power—with love and understanding. Have I stopped reacting?

Higher Power, I pray that I may gain strength in your love and turn away the strife caused by fear and uncontrolled emotions.

Today I will handle any frustration placidly by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

One must talk. That’s how it is. One must.

~ MARGUERITE DURAS ~

Newcomer

Someone I’m involved with is active in this disease again, after time in recovery. I’ve felt ashamed to talk with you about it or to share it at meetings. Am I jeopardizing my recovery by staying loyal to this person?

Sponsor

Some of us are already in committed relationships when we enter recovery. A partner, child, or family member may have problems of addiction. We know we cannot give recovery to another person. But it’s appropriate to raise the question, as you have, of the impact of this situation on our own recovery.

While we want to avoid gossip, accusation, and blame of those we are close to who are still active, it’s essential for our own recovery that we don’t keep secrets. At meetings, we can share about the ways that a relationship challenges our own recovery, keeping the focus on ourselves. We can talk in more detail with a sponsor or counselor knowledgeable about addiction. We can avoid any tendency to enable another’s addictive habits. We can pay close attention to our own addictive thinking and not let ourselves drift away from meetings and from using the tools of recovery.

While it may be painful and challenging to remain close to someone suffering from addiction, we can maintain our own recovery if we use all the help available to us. We can pray for our own and others’ healing, as we continue sober practices that have worked for us.

Today I protect my recovery by honest sharing about any challenges to it.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

If our God. as we understand Him, is a personal God, then it is reasonable to assume that He is so close to us that He is residing in us. He is then part of us and we are part of Him. As we cannot have two different personalities at the same time, we can assume we are either worldly or Godlike, depending upon the characteristic that has dominance at the moment of any specific action.

We cannot expect this God in us to help us unless we are in accord with Him and are endeavoring to help ourselves; otherwise we would be working contrary to ourselves.

Give the God in you a chance—He has given you a thousand.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) STANDARD ACRONYMS: WOW: Willingness Over Willpower

2) Al-Anon: It’s Al-Anon, not Ala-Mom.

3) Drink(ing,): Eventually every alcoholic will have his last drink. Those of us in AA get to talk about ours.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

God’s Love

I pray that I may walk in Your love, God. I pray that as I go, I may feel the spring of Your power in my steps and the joy of Your love in my heart. A consciousness of Your loving presence makes all life different. You have brought me relief from the cares and worries of my daily life. I pray for the freedom and serenity of a sober life.

~ Adapted from Twenty-Four Hours a Day, September 8 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE UNFORGIVABLE SIN

The Bible mentions the existence of an unforgivable sin, and this has greatly frightened innumerable Christians.

Let us be absolutely clear upon one point. There is no sin that a human being can commit that God will not forgive but there is one sin that he cannot forgive until we make it possible. This sin consists in shutting ourselves off from fresh inspiration or guidance from God. If your mind is already made up about everything appertaining to God; if you decide that you now know all the truth, and that you could not be mistaken; then it will not be possible for the Holy Ghost to open your eyes to error and lead you into higher truth. Naturally, as long as this is your state of mind, no help or improvement can come to you; and in that sense only is your sin unforgivable—unforgivable while it lasts. When you do change your attitude, enlightenment will come, and the sin will be destroyed.

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him and he with me (Revelation 3:20).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

God Is My Agent

I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, for He who sent me will direct me.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

When I self-published The Dragon Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, I went to New York with $5,000 of borrowed money and made a deal with a printer. As I rose to leave his office, he remarked, “You know, they say you don’t make any money until your third book.” His words took me by surprise; I felt as if he was trying to dump a load of manure on my dream. Hardly thinking, these words came out of my mouth: “That’s what they may say, but what they may not know is that my agent is God.”

The printer looked at me, puzzled, and I went on my way. The book became an instant success, my investment was returned, and it went on to be quite profitable even long before my second book was published.

When your work proceeds from Spirit, the universe will take care of you. The laws of right livelihood far supersede the norms and expectations of those who are in business simply to make money. Don’t work for a living; create for a life. If your idea or product is the result of prayer, intention, and a dedication to true service, you will prosper in miraculous ways. “The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.”

You do not need to fight to champion your cause; instead, let God open the doors for you. This does not mean that you do nothing and sit around and wait for the money to pour in. If a result is to come through your efforts, Spirit will tell you what to do. You do not need to fret, struggle, scheme, and sweat for your good. The same God that gave you the idea will help it succeed.

I turn my work, my relationships, and my life over to You to guide, knowing that Your love and wisdom will prosper me in wondrous ways.

I take care of God’s business, and God takes care of mine.