Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - December

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December 11

Step by Step

“For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt – and one more failure.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 11 (“A Vision for You”), p 151.

Today, drinking to deal with emotions and people I could not handle, I ask if I ever found “release from care, boredom and worry” or a “joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good?” No,I didn’t. Alcohol was never a social luxury for me; instead, it was a way to oblivion so that I didn’t have to deal with what I couldn’t or didn’t want to face. “…(T)he great moments of the past?” Mine overwhelmed any good ones. With that memory, then, why do I want to reclaim any moments of my drinking past? I don’t. The program has given me the ammunition to deal with and face what I once could not. I don’t need alcohol now, and I don’t want it. In sobriety, I’m making better memories. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ A YEAR OF MIRACLES ~ (Meditations Written by Members of Nicotine Anonymous) ~

I always pretended that it was no big deal to be around non-smokers, but it was a total pain in the a$$.

~ NICOTINE ANONYMOUS: THE BOOK ~

How true for me. It got so I would avoid going places with non-smokers because it interfered with my smoking. And that included most of the population out there, eventually even including my girlfriend.

Things are different now. After I quit smoking I thought it was cool to hang out with people who were smoking. I try to avoid this now. I am still a smoker in recovery and I do not need to be around people who are actively smoking. I like the smell of tobacco too much.

So I avoid bars and other places where people smoke, not completely but mostly. And I always try to be compassionate toward smokers and other nicotine addicts and give them their right to live as they are living.

I am grateful to live in a time and place where the rights of non-smokers are so great. I remember the days we were allowed to smoke everywhere except church and elevators, and I even lit up once or twice in elevators.

Today, I will be tolerant of others regardless of our differences.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FORGIVENESS

I’m slipping when I say forgive, but don’t forget.

~ Anonymous ~

When we join in an act of forgiveness, we bring relationships whole again. Forgiveness is not a state of mind. It is a state of being. If we do not forgive deep within our hearts, we have not really forgiven. Forgiveness which stays up in the head is really only the intention to forgive.

We know we have not truly forgiven when we can’t forget what caused our resentments. If this wound is still open and sore, we did not forgive from the heart. We remember to give ourselves time, talk with our sponsor and fellow
members, and pray for help. It is good to share our resentment in a meeting and ask for suggestions. Finally we must wait. God will heal the wound in time if we let Him.

My willingness is the key. If I am willing to let go, I will be given the power to truly forgive.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The Eskimo term for sexual intercourse is “laughing together.”

~ Anonymous ~

This Eskimo term teaches us that sexuality is a God- given gift intended to bring pleasure and create bonds between two people. Problems surrounding sexuality are common among recovering men, and it is another area where we can grow. Some of us attached great anxiety to sex and used chemicals to handle our anxiety. In sobriety we become faced with the anxiety again. Some of us used sex as our drug, an addiction that served more to escape our feelings than to enrich them.

Our sexual desires and feelings provide energy for our intimate partnership. There is no more shame in having a sexual problem than there is in having a communication problem with someone. We can learn that taking sexual pleasure within a loving relationship is hardly separate from giving it. Talking to our intimate partner and a trusted friend can relieve many problems. Just as we can lighten the burden of any other problem, sexual matters are solvable too.

Today I am grateful for the pleasure and the gift of sexuality.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The Twelve Steps have taught me to feel my pain—and then walk through it.

~ Joan Rohde ~

Getting clean and sober has not meant an end to the pain in our lives. Being human gives us many opportunities to feel and grow through painful experiences. But what is different now is that we have the support of a loving God and the Twelve Steps to give us hope and clarity. We also have the friendship of many women who understand us. Our journey through the unknown is made in the company of these friends.

Sometimes we wonder why we have been graced. Most of us are befriending women who still struggle without the benefit of this program. We see our former selves in them, and we wish we could give them what we now have. In our past, every experience had the potential to devastate us; today no experience is too much for us to handle.

We are free: free to enjoy every moment; free of the fear that we have to solve our problems alone; free of dread about what the future may hold.

I am looking forward to my experiences today, for they will be the right ones for my growth. God will help me handle the hard parts.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am getting used to my meds.

I thought that taking psychiatric medication would help fix my problems, not cause them. While it has helped with my psychiatric problems, the price is some unpleasant side effects. I don’t like having a sensitive bladder, a limited diet, a dry mouth, or some temporary sexual problems.

But lately I’ve come to see that these dis-comforts are minor compared to the disasters caused by my psychiatric illness. Deep down I am grateful that medications exist that can help me cope and adjust. I can learn to live with some side effects.

Today I will look for a positive aspect of two negative situations in my life.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I’ve taken my fun where I’ve found it.

~ Rudyard Kipling ~

Today we’ve all been given another day to use and explore. Why on earth would we spend so much time and effort on recovery if we don’t plan on having fun? What’s the point? God gave us today and if we don’t put some joy into it, we’re at fault. If we’re rusty at having fun we have all kinds of willing participants at meetings. There is always something to enjoy if we only look for it.

When we bring joy and laughter into our lives we gain perspective, we lighten our load of worry, and we make ourselves more open and receptive to others who may like to get to know us. We also celebrate the sobriety we have worked so diligently to nurture in meetings and in partnership with our Higher Power. Fun is not only a reward for our efforts, but another step in our healing.

Today let me live each moment gratefully and openly.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Happy or unhappy, families are all mysterious.

~ Gloria Steinem ~

Children often adopt roles to help them cope within a dysfunctional family. You may identify with these roles.

• Hero. Your role was making everyone in the family look good. Your struggles today are with your need for perfection and learning how to face conflict.

• Mascot. Your role was to make light of the bad situation in your home. Your struggles today are dealing with anger and resentment, and understanding the difference between humor and sarcasm.

• Lost Child. Your role was maintaining silence and staying out of everyone’s way. This timidity is something you need to learn how to overcome today so you can find your voice, express your feelings, and take risks.

• Scapegoat. Your role was to act out in ways that created distraction from the addict and family problems. More often than not your actions resulted in punishment and abuse. You need to come to terms with childhood abuse and the consequences of rebellious actions.

• Caretaker. Your role was to try to make everyone happy. Your struggles today are learning how to balance taking care of others with developing the ability to focus on yourself.

I will shed my childhood role so I can become who I need and want to be.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.

~ Solomon Schechter ~

Sometimes we may feel overwhelmed by the amount of things we believe we have to work on at one time. We may feel stressed under the pressure of working a full-time job, attending school, working on a relationship, caring for ourselves and a family, and growing in recovery. Sometimes we may want to put up an “Out to Lunch” sign and take off for parts unknown.
Anytime we feel overwhelmed it’s our mind’s way of telling us we need to set limits. We can’t do everything and expect to get very far. But we’ll get far if we do some things and leave others alone for a while.
Tonight we can look at our overbooked schedules and see where we can make changes. We first need to leave some free time for ourselves. Then we need to prioritize our obligations. Once we try out our new schedules for a while, we may see some changes or find others that need to be made. Starting tonight, we can stop feeling overwhelmed with life and take charge of it.

How can I reorganize my schedule so I’m not so overwhelmed? Tonight I can begin to take charge of my life and mold it to fit my needs. 

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

On the move

Do we remember the “geographical cure,” when we rationalized that if we changed our location our problems would melt away? Some of us left a city. Some left a state. Others thought the communes had the answer. Some even sought the answer in other countries.
Wherever we went we always brought our selves along. Unless we changed our selves, no place in the universe could resolve our problems for us. Invariably, we found that our program was the only answer for us.
Have I changed within?
Higher Power, let me hear the “still small voice within” and know that change begins with me.
Today I will analyze my changes, including

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

~ SAYING HEARD AT MEETINGS ~

Newcomer

I know that doing service is suggested, and I’ve done a lot of it. But I want to take some time off now. You’ve said before that this program makes suggestions, not rules, so I know there’s no rule that I have to keep doing service.

Sponsor

We need to look carefully at our motives. Some of us do a great deal of service early in recovery—chores like setting up chairs, making coffee, and cleaning up. This has kept us busy and helped us get to meetings and stay away from our drug of choice. Perhaps now we want to give other new-comers opportunities to serve the group. Or perhaps we’d like to try something new. These are legitimate reasons for changing service positions. Perhaps, however, we’ve been harboring feelings of resentment about responsibilities we’ve taken on. We may feel overextended or unappreciated.
Or perhaps we want to pull back from the program. We may even be unconsciously laying the groundwork for a relapse.
Service is essential to recovery. Without it, meetings wouldn’t take place, newcomers wouldn’t find sponsors; phones would go unanswered. Others’ service makes our recovery possible; we do the same for those who want what we have. Each of us is responsible for giving service that’s appropriate to our schedules and abilities.

My willingness to give service today expresses my gratitude for recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Every man is both human and divine, both good and evil, strong and weak, wise and foolish. The body, soul and mind are the battleground of our conflicting natures, and while these conflicts rage, we can have no peace. It is only when we bring our conflicting emotions under control that victory over self is possible. We alcoholics have learned that we are unable to accomplish this without outside help. With that help, real peace is obtainable. No other way has worked for us.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Opinion(s): Group conscience: There’s room for more than one opinion and none of them has to be wrong

2) Silence: Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.

3) Work(ing): You have to work a full program in a half way house.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Better Relationships

I pray for the opportunity to form better relationships now that I am in recovery. The Program has revealed a need to completely overhaul my attitudes about intimate and personal relations. I pray the working of the Program will help me be a better partner in relationships. Most of the time I never really needed better partners. I just needed to be a better person.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

People sometimes accept the idea that a change of thought, plus turning to God in prayer, will transform their lives into harmony and freedom. The logic of this principle appeals to them, and they set to work upon it in earnest. Then, after a few days, they say, “Nothing has happened after all,” and they drop back into their old negative thinking.
That is extremely foolish. The results of many years of general negative thinking are seldom corrected in a few days.
No one who goes upon a new physical diet or medical regimen expects to reap the advantages in so short a time. You must keep up the new way of thinking and refuse to be discouraged by seeming failures at first.
The right motive for adopting right thinking is that it is right, and that wrong thinking is wrong; and we should do right whether it seems to pay dividends or not. Of course, it does pay dividends—fabulous dividends—but it usually takes a little perseverance in the face of preliminary slowness.

And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:13).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Christmas Gold

It is in your power to make this season holy, for it is in your power to make the time of Christ be now.
~ A Course in Miracles ~

There is much more to the Christmas season than meets the eye. This is the time of year when the human race publicly acknowledges the presence of divinity. It is a time when angels are accepted as real, and people sing openly in the streets. It is a time when we are urged to reach beyond self-involvement and bring joy to others. It is a time when we take a respite from our worldly activities to remember the importance of friendship, family, and love. For many, the Christmas season is a challenging time. The call to love brings forth everything unlike love, and some of us find ourselves feeling stressed or depressed. We face unresolved family issues, and our yearning to be with a special person at a special time is sometimes met with frustration or disappointment. We face unwanted obligations to give to certain people or be present at certain gatherings, and the general level of rush, stress, and conflict does not decrease in the spirit of Christmas, but only escalates in the name of fear.
Consider the Christmas season an invitation to master love, an opportunity to practice the presence of Christ in the face of vast materialism and insanity. To love in a world of love is ideal, but to love in the face of illusion is mastery. Heightened materialism during the season is the ego’s response to the increased spiritual energy on the planet. Rather than surrender to love, the ego tries to distract us from Spirit by dangling gold before us. But the real gold is within. You are the gold, and the game is to find the gold in your brothers and sisters.
This year, honor the Christ in you by remaining at peace. If you never send one Christmas card, show up at one party, or give one present, but remain in love, you will give the greatest gift of all. As you go through your Christmas activities, be kind. That is all that Jesus would care about. Help me to remember the reason for Christmas. I pray to keep my heart open.

I honor Christ by living His peace.