Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - December

[bluidkiti]

December 8

Step by Step

Today, Step Nine suggests that I atone to people I hurt with my drinking after I determine if those people are in a place in their own lives to accept my amends. The wisest measure may be in the Ninth Step’s qualification that amends not be made – not immediately – if they compound the initial injury or hurt other people. If I determine honestly that some people who are owed amends cannot or should not yet receive them, I must also understand I am not off the hook. I can offer a gesture if none other than getting and staying sober and working the program’s steps to build a new character for others to see. As for people to whom I can offer direct amends, I must also be on guard not to grovel or beg for forgiveness if my apology is rejected. For we do not bow before anyone in shame or guilt. As such, I cannot allow myself to be made the proverbial doormat for the wrongs to people to whom I owe amends. Today, fully respecting the integrity and intent of the Ninth Step, I need first to determine that I can offer immediate amends and, if I can, to guard against becoming their kicking post. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SURRENDER

In my end is my beginning.

~ T.S. Eliot ~

Don't just quit, surrender! We now know there is a big difference. Most of us quit a thousand times. We bet all we had on our ability to just say no. Each morning, with a swollen head, we made our pledge to quit. Then as the sun began to go down, the memory of the quitting faded away, and we were again deep into our addiction. The rock-solid purpose we had in the morning had utterly dissolved in the evening.

We couldn't quit because we were out of control and living in denial. Our only hope was in surrendering to our powerlessness and admitting that we could not will this monkey away. What came before surrender was the acknowledgment that there was someone to whom we were surrendering. We did not need to worry about naming the force or the Power that was in control.

I needed only to surrender and let go of the will that tormented me on a daily basis. The answer came in my act of surrender.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The day you were born a ladder was set up to help you escape this world.

~ Rumi ~

In a spiritual life, as our soul develops, our consciousness reaches beyond the mundane world of things, events, and facts. We find meaning in the happenings of our lives: a chance meeting with a friend, a rainstorm that changes our plans, or even our simple daily chores. And we find our connection to the larger whole through friendships and community. We care, we love, and our actions fulfill our sense of who we want to be as men.

Many of us have outgrown or turned away from the religious training we received as boys. Others of us grew within the religions of our childhoods, developing adult spiritual lives. In either case, spiritual development is the process of discovering or uncovering what was there for us, perhaps what was meant for us, from the day we were born.

Today I am in touch with my soul.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The opinion we have of ourselves isn’t just based on beliefs—it’s also based on actions.

~ Marie Lindquist ~

Seeing ourselves for who we really are is easier now that we are sober. When we work the Steps, we discover a process for living more peaceful lives. When we do an inventory, we discover who we are. Keeping track of our actions on a daily basis gives us the biggest payoff.

Trying to be our best is a challenge. Many of us are just beginning to practice taking control of our thoughts before reacting to circumstances. As a result, we have far fewer amends to make. Deciding what we want to do based on what we have consciously chosen to think is an adventure in creativity. The more we actively take charge of our own lives, the greater our rewards.

The opinion I have of myself is in my control. I can act well today, thus think well of myself, and vice versa.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can smile again

My dual disorder has kept me down. Things were serious at times—I was desperate, despondent, and out of control. Nothing was fun, not even getting high (that just diminished the pain).

With treatment, however, I am feeling better. Since I was able to admit my problems and ask for help, I am no longer alone in my struggle. I am with people who understand, many who even share my dual disorder. I now feel hopeful. Change looks possible. These days I find myself smiling at people and looking forward to simple pleasures.

In my journal I will write about two events that made me happy today.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

This plant would like to grow... and yet escape.

~ Richard Wilbur ~

One irony of growing up and becoming mature is it’s not quite as easy as we thought it would be. Once we get to the point of making decisions for our lives, we often wish we were kids again when our parents took care of all the difficult decisions. Growing up means accepting responsibility for our behavior and attitudes, making decisions and living with the consequences, and solving day-to-day problems. It really would be nice to have a mom or a dad or someone else take care of all this for us.

Fortunately there is a middle ground between being completely on our own and having someone taking care of us all the time. The middle ground is to be interdependent — at times taking care of day-to-day problems on our own, but at other times, when the problem or decision is greater, asking other people and our Higher Power for help. Being adult does not have to mean being alone. Asking for help is often a very mature action, and will usually enrich our lives with friendship and camaraderie and contact with our Higher Power.

Today I pray that I may never be afraid to ask for help. And may I never view asking for help as a sign of weakness.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

You won’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.

~ Epicurus ~

You may feel there is so much that is unknown in your recovery, so much that needs to be done, and so many feelings you have suppressed that you do not know where to begin or how to start to make things better. Even if you have spent years in recovery and are confident in your ability and commitment to being clean and sober, there may be things you have put off doing that need to be done. Or you may be experiencing a dramatic life change that may challenge your courage to stay on the right path.

Mastering your fear of facing such things and learning to work through them takes courage. Everyone has the ability to be courageous, but you must work hard to develop and strengthen it.

Each time you take steps toward those things that frighten or overwhelm you, you develop greater confidence and strength. And each time you stand up for yourself in the face of disagreement or controversy, you are moving closer to building a foundation of courage deep within you. Build your courage, and it will be something you can depend upon for the days that lie ahead.

If there are demons to slay today, I will do so. I have courage.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

A strong life is like that of a ship of war which has its own place in the fleet and can share in its strength and discipline, but can also go forth alone to the solitude of the infinite sea.

~ P.G. Hamerton ~

We need to achieve a balance between socializing and solitude. If we are around others day in and day out, we will never learn what it feels like to be by our-selves. Likewise, if we are isolated a lot, we will never learn what it's like to be around others. Recovery depends on sound balance between the two.

As we reflect upon today, we can take note of the time we spent with others or in solitude. Then we can better decide how to balance tomorrow's activities. If we've dealt with people all day, it might be good to spend some time alone, traveling in solitude on the infinite sea. If we've spent most of the day in solitude, it might be good to spend time with others, experiencing that we are a part of those around us. We can strive to seek balance and harmony as we steer our ships.

What do I need to balance tomorrow's activities: the company of others or the company of myself?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Going forward

Our lives have not come to a standstill. In fact, our lives began when we decided to stop using drugs. This program isn’t a punishment but a glorious gift from our Higher Power.

Because we are recovering, we are stronger. If we feel we’re at a standstill, we can move forward. When things are bad, we can change them to good. When things are good, we can improve them. With our Higher Power’s guidance, we keep progressing and don’t get stuck in a rut.

Am I out of all the old ruts?

Higher Power, may I realize that this program is not a punishment but a step forward with you.

Today I will take a step forward by improving

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

When someone's life is shattered, there is only humanity.

~ DIANE SAWYER ~

Newcomer

There's someone I took a dislike to the first time I saw her at a meeting. From her age and appearance, I assumed that we had little in common. Recently, she was the speaker at a meeting I attended, and I heard more. The sincerity of her sharing touched off strong memories from my own past. After the meeting, I thanked her, and told her how moved I'd been listening to her. It surprised me to find out that my prejudices can still keep me from seeing and hearing people as they really are. It's humbling.

Sponsor

Congratulations on listening in spite of your initial negative feelings. We can learn from people whose lives and personalities are vastly different from our own, people whom we would not necessarily choose as friends or close associates. I once heard a man in recovery say, "If you haven't met anyone you don't like, you haven't been to enough meetings." We aren't required to like everyone we meet here, but we do need to give one another respect and a special kind of attention. As we hear how others' lives have changed, we listen actively for feelings that echo our own. We learn to go deeper than the surface, to see the journey of another's spirit, and we find that we want to celebrate one another's victories in recovery. Our respect for those who speak at meetings has a further benefit. As we learn to see the humanity of those who are recovering in this fellowship, our tolerance for all human beings grows.

Today, I sense the humanity of all those in this fellowship.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Have you ever noticed those old expressions: "Sit down and cry"; "Prostrate with grief"; "Wallowing in pity"; "Bowed down with troubles," etc.?

Truly troubles in all their forms get us "down" so the only antidote would appear to be to "get up and do."

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

We Need Only Obey

Dear God, I realize the whole course of things goes to teach me faith. I need only obey. There is guidance for me, and by listening 1 shall hear the right word. I will place myself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom that flows from You; I will place myself in the center of that flood. And then I may know the truth, the right, and contentment.

~ Adapted from writings by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

Don't Hurry. You are going to live forever—somewhere. In fact, you are in eternity now; so why rush?

Don't Worry. You belong to God, and God is Love; so why fret?

Don't Condemn. As you cannot get under the other fellow's skin, you cannot possibly know what difficulties he has had to meet—how much temptation, or misunderstanding, or stupidity. You are not perfect yourself and might be much worse in his shoes.

Don't Resent. If wrong has been done, the Great Law will surely take care of it. Rise up in consciousness and set both yourself and the delinquent free. Forgiveness is the strongest medicine.

...For there is no power but of God (Romans 13:1).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

All Taken Care Of

The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.

~ Psalm 23 ~

In their inspiring book, The Peace of God Is My One Goal, Barbara and Robert Varley recounted many experiences in which they put A Course in Miracles into action and proved that faith works.

While traveling across the country offering seminars, the couple needed a new van. They went into a local auto dealership and found a vehicle they liked, but the salesman quoted a price beyond what they felt they could afford. When the Varleys meditated on it, however, their guidance was to buy the van and not even bargain with the salesman. They agreed to the asking price, and the salesman began to weep. “It has been a very slow season, and I did not know how I would provide for my family for Christmas,” he told them. “This sale will enable me to buy my children some decent presents.” Over the next few months, the income from the Varleys’ seminars, on a donation basis, swelled significantly, and the van was paid off in short time. Then their income subsided to its previous level.

The universe provides for all our needs if we trust it. We do not have to fight for our good or struggle with others over a seemingly limited supply The God that created countless stars and fathomless seas is able to create abundance for us to the extent we require it. Our job is to listen to our guidance and trust.

Search your mind for thoughts of lack, and offset them with thoughts of abundance. Practice living as if you always have enough of what you need, and you will manifest great supply. Some people have bank checks printed with the motto, “God is my source.” Turn to the invisible hand of grace, and you shall see it made visible.

Help me to remember that You are the source of all my good.

I allow God to provide me with an abundant life.