Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - December

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December 4

Step by Step

“If we have been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot. We have listed and analyzed our resentments. We have begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality. We have commenced to see their terrible destructiveness. We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people. We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past if we can.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5 (“How It Works”), p 70.

Today, the promise to move past our resentments and other feelings that hurt ourselves and others is equivalent to a spiritual awakening. An intimidating or daunting achievement on the surface, such an overhaul is actually pretty simple. But the first rule is to want it, and the desire becomes a hunger if we accept completely and honestly the First Step – ” …admitted we were powerless.” Without that surrender, the task of rebuilding is likely built on an unsteady foundation, and the foundation may cave into a relapse. But if we understand that there is no reason to fight anymore and immerse ourselves in the First Step, the Second Step of coming to believe that a power greater than ourselves may come easier. With that, we have made stronger the foundation on which we can rebuild our lives. And if we see someday that the person we become in sobriety nowhere resembles who and what we were in our drinking days, we might understand that the rebirth of ourselves is a natural benefit of honestly working the program. So is the miracle of AA. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

YEAH, BUT…

Nothing is easy to the unwilling.

~ Thomas Fuller ~

Just as a person does not "sort of' get pregnant, or “sort of” get married, we don't “sort of” do the will of our Higher Power. The Program is one of honesty. Where there were once half-steps, now there are full Steps. We had allowed our disease to dictate the terms of all our relationships. This meant everything had to come second to our addiction. Every action was conditioned on our ability to feed our problem.

Now that we are in recovery, we are asked, "are we willing to go to any lengths?" If we do not answer with a loud "yes," we set ourselves up for failure. There is no "yeah, but..." when we follow the Steps and the instructions of our sponsor. There is no reading in between the lines when we practice the principles of our Program.

“Yeah, but...” responses are dangerous for me because they mean I'm not listening or moving forward. When I hear myself say it, I should ask for help in removing the “but.”

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

When we are oversensitive, when we take offense at a negative comment someone makes to us, we put our self-esteem under that person’s control. Whatever a person says is, first of all, a reflection on him. If someone says you look like a pig, that doesn’t make it so. Children don’t have the inner resources or the emotional independence to hold a separate identity apart from what others say, and they can be crushed by it. Adolescents take great personal offense if someone looks at them wrong. As adults, we have the ability to control our sense of self, even if we haven’t yet learned how to use it.

If our partner speaks in a tone that sounds judgmental, our knee-jerk response is to take it into our core. If a co-worker hurls an insult, we might feel injured. If a friend is thoughtless about our feelings, we might take offense. But we can remember that these actions are first of all a reflection on the speaker. We can adopt a detached attitude about others’ comments and give them the freedom to say what they like. We are in charge of our self-esteem.

My honesty about my own self-worth stands on its own. No one else controls that.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

My life is a little bit like the jazz music I play. I stretch and explore and make some mistakes.

~ Betty MacDonald ~

Why are we so ashamed when we make mistakes? On occasion, we may negatively judge other people for their failures, but most of the time we hardly notice them. Surely the same must be true for our failings. While we see our mistakes as glaringly evident, others give them barely a thought. We are far too absorbed in needing to be perfect.

This recovery program gives us the opportunity to change how we think and act. Maybe our family of origin heaped shame on us when we weren’t perfect, but we don’t have to continue this pattern.

Working on one behavior we’d like to change, one day at a time, gives us hope that we can make progress. Listening to the women we have come to admire in this program leaves little doubt that we can be successful in this pursuit. They have done it. We can too.

I am not perfect. I am willing to work on my short-comings today. That’s enough to satisfy my Higher Power. And me.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My meds are not street drugs

I have a dual disorder. I've been sober for a couple of months, but my psychiatrist now suggests that I take a psychotropic medication to help me with my rage and shifting moods. I can see I need this help and I want to feel more like myself again. But as a recovering alcoholic, I'm terrified about taking drugs.

So I talked to my dual recovery sponsor. She explained the critical difference between medication and street drugs: medication is prescribed by a doctor, for a specific problem, at a specific dosage, for a specific length of time— and carefully monitored all the while. She also pointed out AAs supportive pamphlet, "The AA Member—Medication and other drugs: A report from a group of physicians in AA." I'm glad I talked with my sponsor. It helped. #

I will get a copy of the AA pamphlet and read it carefully.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Life is difficult

~ M. Scott Peck ~

Life can be hard, but when we start to feel sorry for ourselves it helps to remember that it’s hard for everyone. Obstacles and challenges are a given in life. What makes us think we won’t have some problems, too?

Once we accept the simple fact that we’re not alone in our hardships we discover the secret within that thought: we’re not alone. We can feel sad about what’s befallen us. We have a chronic disease that affects every aspect of our being. But having the blues is a lonely thing; when we sing the blues, we share life itself with others. We transform our hardships into valuable lessons, and we gratefully affirm that we are alive and still kicking. Singing the blues can be a celebration that turns sadness and setback into something we can dance to.

We can even be grateful life is hard, for it might be without meaning if it were too easy, without challenge and opportunity for growth, without the risk that offers reward, without the mystery that sends us exploring. God sends us no more hardship than we can handle. In that way, problems become a measure of our strength. By handling them we call our assets into play in a way we couldn’t otherwise, and each challenge brings us new confidence and faith to go on.

Today let me gratefully accept my growth opportunities, even when they come in the form of problems.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o’clock in the morning, day after day.

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald ~

Even the most positive people may be prone to sadness during winter. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a clinical mood disorder that affects many people when there is less exposure to sunlight. This can disrupt the normal rhythms of life as well as decrease levels of melatonin and serotonin in the body, which are natural mood enhancers.

Symptoms of SAD include difficulty awakening in the morning, an overall fatigue or lack of energy, a lack of desire for social interaction, disinterest in things that typically bring pleasure, and a sense of hopelessness. If you suffer from SAD, you typically have good mental health throughout most of the year and only experience periods of depression in the winter.

You can use preventative measures to alleviate some of these symptoms. Alter your home environment to allow more sunlight by opening blinds and curtains or trimming trees and bushes around your home. Spend time outdoors, particularly when the sun is shining. Or plan a vacation to a sunny climate. If your finances preclude travel, post a tropical island screen saver on your computer and imagine yourself in this warm, sunny location.

I can take a tropical vacation in my mind and imagine how good the sunshine and warmth will feel.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

They got scared when they started feeling good, just because it was so unfamiliar. Like chronic prisoners facing release from their cells.

~ Lisa Alther ~

The evening news usually begins with doom-and- gloom stories and perhaps ends with one positive, uplifting item. If we were to give the evening news of today, what would it consist of? Stories of disappointment, anger, resentment, and misunderstandings; or recollections of giving, laughter, closeness, success, and achievement?

It's scary to focus only on the good things that hap-pen. Many times we're afraid to feel good because we don't trust the feeling to last long. Perhaps we're very uncomfortable with good feelings because they're so unfamiliar. Yet that unfamiliarity can change, over time, until we grow accustomed to the good.

Accepting good feelings is like meeting someone we really want to know better. At first we may feel scared or shy. But in time, we feel more at ease and relaxed as we spend more time together and share different things. Feeling good can be a friend that will grow more important to us every day.

Tonight I will focus on the good in my evening news.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being under a new influence

Under the influence of drugs, nothing was real. This is one of the hallmarks of an addict. A good day wasn’t really much more satisfying than a terrible one because we al-ways had the feeling of being on the periphery, of being on the outside looking in.

The good days provided no joy; they were unfulfilling. With a sickening awareness, we often played a sadistic game—we knew our actions were hurting ourselves as well as others. At the same time we felt very misunderstood, thinking, Don’t they know we don’t want to be this way?

Am I under a new influence now?

Higher Power, help me slow down today and have courage to live in the now.

I willfully experience today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

People who fight with fire usually end up with ashes.

~ ABIGAIL VAN BUREN ~

Newcomer

I feel sad about a relative who has the same addiction problem I do but isn't in recovery. I don't know what to do about it.

Sponsor

We can remember that others, like us, have a Higher Power. We can pray for them. And there's nothing wrong with letting a- relative know that we've found a Twelve Step program and have stopped using our addictive drug or behavior.

There's a fine line, though, that's dangerous to cross. We can get into trouble if our ego thinks it's our job, or that it's even possible, to bring another person into recovery. If we share information about our recovery with a family member, we have to be prepared for lack of interest, refusal to hear, or downright hostility. We may have to deal with the impact of the person's denial about our own need for recovery. It helps to remember that we're as powerless over another person's addiction as we are over the addictive substance itself.

Today, my own recovery is my highest priority; I surrender family members to my Higher Power's care.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Sometimes people say, "I tried AA but somehow, it just didn't seem to work for me." They had lost faith in the Program but a careful analysis of the situation would show that they had not been faithful TO it. No medicine will cure a sick man unless he takes it regularly and according to the doctor's orders.

You will, have no occasion to lose faith in the Program if you live faithfully to its precepts.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

The Strength of Humility

Higher Power, I have learned in recovery that there is no greater defense against the cunning, baffling, and powerful disease than a humble attitude. I pray for understanding that there is strength and wisdom which come from true humility. Humility has nothing to do with shyness, weakness, or putting myself down. Humility is living in a proper relationship with You. When I walk with You, I don't have to try to be humble. I am humble.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

ABIDING IN HIS PRESENCE

Read Psalm 27.

"When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell."

"The wicked" and "mine enemies" stand for our own thoughts for our fears and doubts of every kind; and truly indeed do they sometimes come upon us as though "to eat up our flesh."

"Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident."

The Psalmist reiterates his confidence and makes us, his readers, reiterate that our hearts, too, shall not fear. When you can say quietly and truthfully at any hour of the day or night "my heart shall not fear," the world has no more power over you. You are free. War of various kinds may rise up against you, but you will be confident, and therefore you will be victorious.

"One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek afterl that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple.:
"For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock."

These two verses constitute a remarkable expression of what is often called the second birth. When you have reached that stage you do not allow any external happening really to grieve you, or frighten you, or hurt you, because you know that external things are but passing shadows of no permanent importance. This steadfast determination to dwell in the house of the Lord, to behold His beauty and to learn His secrets, means that you are set upon a rock and there you house of life is secure.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Nature Bats Last

Let us permit nature to have its way; she understands her business better than we do.

~ Michel de Montaigne ~

I saw an abandoned tennis court that had been nearly entirely dislodged by grass that had grown through cracks in the surfacing. Of all the demonstrations of the power of nature, I find it most compelling to consider how a tiny blade of grass can undo an entire human made structure. Given the slightest opening, nature will work its way out from under oppression and reassert itself.

At every moment, nature is seeking to restore balance and harmony where it has been upset. This is the essence of healing. No matter how we may violate the given order, nature will restore the way it was intended to be. Even though humanity may defile and disrespect the planet, eventually the earth will grow green again. If we are wise, we will cooperate with this process.

It is important that we know what our true nature is, that we may align and be bolstered by it. On the deepest level, we are spiritual beings; that is why nothing material can satisfy us completely. We may have all manner of material comfort and beauty around us, but unless our spiritual self is fed, we remain hungry. Our true nature is wholeness; we cannot be broken into parts and treated as a commodity; we are more than we appear to be. Our true nature is kindness and love; we cannot act or identify with cruelty and feel at peace or have life work.

The Taoist religion is one of the simplest paths to God. It advises, “Just be what you are. You do not need to change yourself to be divine. You are created of spirit, and to be powerful and happy, simply let nature take its course.”

Help me remember that I am divine. Return my birthright of peace to me.

My nature is godly. I am healed as I express my true self.