Online 4th Step Inventory Guide

[MajestyJo]

STEP FOUR: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
"Step Four is our vigorous and painstaking effort to discover what these liabilities in each of us have been, and are. We want to find exactly how, when, and where our natural desires have warped us. We wish to look squarely at the unhappiness this has caused others and ourselves. By discovering what our emotional deformities are, we can move toward their correction."

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pages 42-43

One of the first things I was told to notice that it said fearless and until I could let go of the fear with a good Step Three, I wasn't ready to do a truly honest Step Four. If I wasn't entirely ready and willing, then I wouldn't be willing to do a thorough search. I was told to not look at the whole picture because it could be very overwhelming and daunting; and was told to break it down and start with a resentment sheet. They say resentments are the number one killer of alcoholics. I heard a long-timer say he thought that guilt was just as much of an offender as resentments; and that was true for me. Guilt kept me sick for a long time.

It wasn't until I was willing to bring everything from my past out of the darkness into the light and truly look at them honestly, that I was able to heal and move forward. I went on to do two more written Step Fours and verbal Steps every eighteen - twenty-four months in Counselling. I always thought that honesty was what I got first and that I was always honest, yet self-honest, true self-honesty was one of the most difficult things for me. I didn't want to face me. It was like I wanted to continue to be the martyr and the victim. By doing so, I wouldn't have to look at the people in my life and look at my decisions concerning them. It wasn't about other people, it was about me and I could no longer play the blame game.

This was a very freeing Step, especially when I followed it by a Fifth Step and released the burdens that I had been carrying for so long.

Originally posted my site Star Choices