We Do Recover - Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums

MajestyJo · 11-21-2015, 02:55 AM

Remember that we deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find him now.

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

Sometimes we forget how dangerous this disease really is, and it isn't just about the drinking and drugging, it is about the thinking that goes with it. It is a family disease, and when I stole my first glass of communion wine I was 10. I was to ever remember the feeling when it hit bottom and searched for that feeling. It is a progressive disease, and it kept taking more to reach it, and then it got to a stage where I found it, and couldn't stop there, I had to have more.

I can't forget it is a family disease. I only saw my father drunk twice growing up, once at 8 and another time at 14, until my mother passed away, and she was no longer there to say no to alcohol being in our home. He went out to get it, but we didn't see alcohol in our home. My sister and I were playing in the basement and we found a case of 12, covered in dust and cob webs and my sister said, "Oh look, this must be daddy's pop." We did not know. We didn't have a TV until I was 10 years old, so my informative years were very uninformed.

What I didn't know was that when I didn't have my drug of choice, I reached for other things: pills, men, food, work, etc. I didn't think I was lovable, unless I had someone in my life to tell me or show me that I was loved. Didn't think I could ever be alone, couldn't even stand to have quiet in the room with no TV or music.

Threw the Steps and my God, who showed me how to fill up with spiritual things, when I go within and build a relationship with my God, instead of looking outside of myself for some thing or some one to make me feel better.

I am responsible for my own happiness. No more playing the blame game. The program is about change, what I did in early recovery is the past, it is what I do in today that matters.

This picture will change daily.

11-21-2015, 02:55 AM	#11
MajestyJo Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Hamilton, ON Posts: 25,078	Remember that we deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find him now. Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon. Sometimes we forget how dangerous this disease really is, and it isn't just about the drinking and drugging, it is about the thinking that goes with it. It is a family disease, and when I stole my first glass of communion wine I was 10. I was to ever remember the feeling when it hit bottom and searched for that feeling. It is a progressive disease, and it kept taking more to reach it, and then it got to a stage where I found it, and couldn't stop there, I had to have more. I can't forget it is a family disease. I only saw my father drunk twice growing up, once at 8 and another time at 14, until my mother passed away, and she was no longer there to say no to alcohol being in our home. He went out to get it, but we didn't see alcohol in our home. My sister and I were playing in the basement and we found a case of 12, covered in dust and cob webs and my sister said, "Oh look, this must be daddy's pop." We did not know. We didn't have a TV until I was 10 years old, so my informative years were very uninformed. What I didn't know was that when I didn't have my drug of choice, I reached for other things: pills, men, food, work, etc. I didn't think I was lovable, unless I had someone in my life to tell me or show me that I was loved. Didn't think I could ever be alone, couldn't even stand to have quiet in the room with no TV or music. Threw the Steps and my God, who showed me how to fill up with spiritual things, when I go within and build a relationship with my God, instead of looking outside of myself for some thing or some one to make me feel better. I am responsible for my own happiness. No more playing the blame game. The program is about change, what I did in early recovery is the past, it is what I do in today that matters. This picture will change daily. __________________ Love always, Jo I share because I care.

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