Hello Everyone.

[MajestyJo]

I too went to recovery. It was my safe place and didn't want to leave after not wanting to be there.

Like all things, everything is subject to life and change, I found myself devastated because my safe place was safe no more. I can't depend on people, places, and things.

A counsellor had come in and put a vanilla bean in the coffee pot. Seems simple and innocent enough, accept that vanilla is a big trigger. It was early morning and I went through a day of hell. My whole body was screaming, my whole thought pattern said, get a drink and wash it away. To handle anger, I drank. How dare she jeopardize my recovery. Again it was about the almighty me!

I ended up calling my sponsor and going to a meeting at night and got through the day. It was the worst day of my recovery. Yet I learned from it, one just because someone is in, they don't always know what is good for me. The woman was a powerful speaker and was a counsellor, who knew a lot about recovery, and I ended up sharing a lot with her in later years. I learned to look at my triggers and how to handle them. I used them as a TOOL to remember when instead of a tool, to take me back out to use. Just because I have a thought, I don't have to act on it.

I don't have to act out in my disease, I can pick up the tools of recovery. Just for today, I don't have to use.

I too learned a lot of helpful things from the recovery house that made for a strong foundation to build my recovery on.