More Recovery Readings - February

[bluidkiti]

February 26

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
From harmony, from heavenly harmony,
This universal frame began . . .
--John Dryden
Our family is like a small orchestra. Each of us has an important part to play. To achieve harmony we tune in to how others are sounding. We recognize that every orchestra needs a conductor, a center for direction. We rely on our Higher Power for this support and guidance, and we realize that our family's music exists in time. It changes, it passes, and we begin a new song. Our music comes and goes. It is not carved in marble. It is a free expression of family love.
No one of us has to play alone, because we are an ensemble. The time for soloing comes later. Today we rejoice that we can play together.
How can my music add to the family's symphony today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I have never for one instant seen clearly within myself. How then would you nave me judge the deeds of others?
--Maurice Maeterlinck
We have been given the job of getting to know ourselves and dealing with our own craziness. We aren't so good at it that we have spare time and energy left to make judgments about those around us. We are tempted to become absorbed in their behavior and choices, and it does feel like a welcome distraction from anxieties about ourselves. So we must learn to detach from the family members and friends that we are tempted to fix, or monitor, or judge.
Although we are very close, we are on separate paths in life. We were not born together, and we will not die together. We will make our family or our friendships and the world a little bit better by staying centered on our own sanity.
I pray for a clear separation between what is on my path in this program and what is on someone else's path. Then we can make good bridges between us.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Twelve Step Programs
I was furious when I found myself at my first Al Anon meeting. It seemed so unfair that he had the problem and I had to go to a meeting. But by that time, I had nowhere left in the world to go with my pain. Now, I'm grateful for Al Anon and my codependency recovery. Al Anon keeps me on track; recovery has given me a life. --Anonymous
There are many Twelve Step programs for codependents: Al Anon, Adult Children of Alcoholics, CoDa, Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon, and more. We have many choices about which kind of group is right for us and which particular group in that category meets our needs. Twelve Step groups for codependents are free, anonymous, and available in most communities. If there is not one that is right for us, we can start one.
Twelve Step groups for codependents are not about how we can help the other person; they're about how we can help ourselves grow and change. They can help us accept and deal with the ways codependency has affected us. They can help us get on track and stay there.
There is magic in Twelve Step programs. There is healing power in connecting with other recovering people. We access this healing power by working the Steps and by allowing them to work on us. The Twelve Steps are a formula for healing.
How long do we have to go to meetings? We go until we "get the program." We go until the program "gets us." Then we keep on going and growing.
Selecting a group and then attending regularly are important ways we can begin and continue to take care of ourselves. Actively participating in our recovery program by working the Steps is another.
I will be open to the healing power available to me from the Twelve Steps and a recovery program.

It is safe to know there is a special place within me where I can feel peace. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Embrace the Lessons of Night

I reached Wyoming’s Yellowstone Park late, much later than I had planned. The park was sprawling. I wasn’t certain how to find the lodge. I couldn’t find anyone to ask for help or directions. Tired and exhausted, I couldn’t make sense of the map. I found myself driving around and around, becoming almost frantic.

Suddenly, beyond the treetops, I spotted a bright light. Good, I thought, it must be the lodge. I drove a little further, then stopped the car and stared in awe. What I saw stilled my heart, and calmed my frantic pace.

Above Yellowstone Lake, nestled between two mountain peaks, glowed a huge, white, full moon, the largest I’d ever seen it. The pines stood guard, quiet and still. A light layer of snow and ice frosted the lake’s surface. I pulled to the side of the road and watched the moon set. It was the single most beautiful, breathtaking scene of the journey.

I would never have seen this scene in the daytime. I would never have seen this moon, had I not gotten lost. I would never have seen it, had it not been this particular time of night. So maybe I’m not lost, I thought. And maybe I’m not late. Maybe what I’m really doing is taking a beautiful evening drive.

When we’re lost, when the way gets dark, sometimes we see things we never would have seen in the daylight. Sometimes, the lessons we learn in the darkness are breathtakingly beautiful.

Enjoy the sunshine, but trust the darkness,too. It is more than to be endured. It is to be experienced, and later cherished.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Open the door to fun experiences

You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.
–Colette

It was nighttime. A light breeze ruffled through my hair as I sat on the bench looking out over the lights of Las Vegas. How did I get here agaiin? I thought. Then I remembered. It had been another of Chip’s wrong turns that had led us from southern California into the unknown.

The man wrapped a thick cloth around my ankles and then attached the cord to it. Another backup cord ran to the harness around my waist.

I was on a tower 150 feet above the ground getting ready to bungee jump. By my feet. At night. In vegas. Again.

Sometimes the first step is the hardest. Sometimes it’s the second step that gets you. The thing about a new experience is that you have no expectations, there is no frame of reference. But the second time. … I remembered the feeling of looking down off the platform to the ground below, the unnatural, terrifying step into nothingness, then my stomach jumping up into my chest, the long second when time seemed to freeze, the plunge toward the ground, and the tug of the cord slowing me. I remembered the rebound, the hanging there, waiting to be pulled back up. I remembered it all, and it grew in my mind. And besides, this time it was night, and I was going to be hanging by my feet.

I walked to the edge of the platform. I wasn’t holding on. But I was shaking.

“5-4-3-2-1- go!” came the count. I closed my eyes and let myself fall.

And I laughed and I screamed, and I laughed at myself for screaming. It was fun.

Later, as we headed farther down the road, farther away from home on another intuitive road trip, I was still smiling.

Growth is self-perpetuating. Each new experience opens the door for further experiences. Today, remember something that you may have done only once, something you liked; then do it again. Allow your mind to fill you with uncertainty as you remember all of the experiences of the first time. It doesn’t have to be work-related. Maybe you went to a play instead of watching TV. Camped in the woods. Or wrote a poem. Find something that was fun, and do it again. Then, bring that feeling back to your ordinary world. Bring the woohoo of the second time into the third, forth, and fifth times that you do a thing.

Keep the life in your life.

God, please remind me of some fun, interesting things that I like to do. Then help me get out of my chair and do them.

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Dark Night of the Soul
Surrendering the Ego

by Madisyn Taylor

While we are in a dark night of the soul experience, hold steady knowing the light will appear once again.


Whenever a word is overused, it is most likely being misused, and over time, it begins to lose its meaningfulness. For example, we often refer to a fleeting feeling of depression or a period of confusion, as a dark night of the soul, but neither of these things qualifies as such. A dark night of the soul is a very specific experience that some people encounter on their spiritual journeys. There are people who never encounter a dark night of the soul, but others must endure this as part of the process of breaking through to the dawn of higher consciousness.

The dark night of the soul invites us to fully recognize the confines of our egos’ identity. We may feel as if we are trapped in a prison that affords us no access to light or the outside. We are coming from a place of higher knowing, and we may have spent a lot of time and energy reaching toward the light of higher consciousness. This is why the dark night has such a quality of despair: We are suddenly shut off from what we thought we had realized and the emotional pain is very real. We may even begin to feel that it was all an illusion and that we are lost forever in this darkness. The more we struggle, the darker things get, until finally we surrender to our not knowing what to do, how to think, where to turn. It is from this place of losing our sense of ourselves as in control that the ego begins to crack or soften and the possibility of light entering becomes real.

Some of us will have to endure this process only once in our lives, while others may have to go through it many times. The great revelation of the dark night is the releasing of our old, false identity. We finally give up believing in this false self and thus become capable of owning and embracing the light. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“What if…” How often we hear these words from newcomers to The Program. How often, in fat,we tend to say them ourselves. “What if I lose my job?” “What if my car breaks down?” What if I get sick and can’t work?” “What if my child gets hooked on drugs?” What if — anything our desperate imaginings can project. Only two small words, yet how heavy-laden they are with dread, fear and anxiety. The answer to “What if…” is, plainly and simply, “Don’t project.” We can only live with our problems as they arise, living one day at a time. Am I keeping my thoughts positive?

Today I Pray

May I grow spiritually, without being held back by anxieties. May projected fears not hobble my pursuits or keep me from making the most of today. May I turn out fear by faith. If I will only make a place for God within me, He will remove my fears.

Today I Will Remember

I can only borrow trouble at high interest rates.

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One More Day

I shall not pass this way again;
Then let me now relieve some pain,
Remove some barrier from the road,
Or brighten someone’s heavy load.
– Eva Rose York

Sometimes we help other through – neighborhood clean-up committees, recycling stations, and paint-a-tons. Maybe we’ve volunteered through school or church or community organizations.

Illness has helped us better understand the relationship between those who help and those who need help. Loving help is not prompted by pity or superiority, but by empathy and shared humanness. Also, we’ve learned that no one is always the helper or always the one needing help. We are both. We are bonded to others through what we give — and what we receive.

I will show my love by helping and being willing to be helped.