Still Struggling with Sexual Fantasies - Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums

leehop71 · 03-26-2014, 08:09 PM

Hey all,

Brand new here. I'm 60 and have only been a Christian for 13 years. I've struggled with pornography ever since I was a child and my online role playing and cyber-sex came crashing down on my in April of 2001!

I thought my family life was over and that I'd end up alone, divorced, and my only child (son now 21) never speaking to me again, so I hit my knees and asked God into my life!

It has been a tremendous journey ever since. My wife honored her vows and forgave me and stuck with me, and my son did the same as well!

I will eventually post my testimony here, but now I'm looking for some common ground to deal with an issue I've struggled with all my life.

Through 12 steps and Christ in my life, I was able to walk away from pornography and 99% of all sexual immorality. Praise God!!

There is only one area of my life that I still struggle with and it is two specific fantasies that haunt me from time to time.

My mother gave birth to me when she was 17 and she has a sister who is only 14 months old than me.

Every since I was a child, I've had sexual fantasies about both mom and my aunt, particularly my aunt.

I assumed they would dissipate with age and especially becoming a Christian, but they have not!!

It's very frustrating and I really would like to overcome this somehow.

Yes I've prayed and prayed and it has helped some, but I even often have dreams about my aunt even though the dreams and fantasies always depict us as young adults, not the ages we are now!

Trying to play psychologist, I've often wondered if maybe the reason they seem to have hung on with me all this time, is because they are fantasies that I know would never ever come true, today, or even back when we were all younger and more susceptible. Somehow I feel safe having those because they could never become real???

If anyone struggles with anything similar, please PM me. Also anyone who would be willing to put on a 'therapist' hat and help me down the road to recovery, I'd be eternally grateful.

It's really the only deliberate sin that I struggle with as a Christ follower and would really like to put it behind me!

Thanks and God bless,

Lee

03-26-2014, 08:09 PM	#1
leehop71 Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Posts: 4	Still Struggling with Sexual Fantasies Hey all, Brand new here. I'm 60 and have only been a Christian for 13 years. I've struggled with pornography ever since I was a child and my online role playing and cyber-sex came crashing down on my in April of 2001! I thought my family life was over and that I'd end up alone, divorced, and my only child (son now 21) never speaking to me again, so I hit my knees and asked God into my life! It has been a tremendous journey ever since. My wife honored her vows and forgave me and stuck with me, and my son did the same as well! I will eventually post my testimony here, but now I'm looking for some common ground to deal with an issue I've struggled with all my life. Through 12 steps and Christ in my life, I was able to walk away from pornography and 99% of all sexual immorality. Praise God!! There is only one area of my life that I still struggle with and it is two specific fantasies that haunt me from time to time. My mother gave birth to me when she was 17 and she has a sister who is only 14 months old than me. Every since I was a child, I've had sexual fantasies about both mom and my aunt, particularly my aunt. I assumed they would dissipate with age and especially becoming a Christian, but they have not!! It's very frustrating and I really would like to overcome this somehow. Yes I've prayed and prayed and it has helped some, but I even often have dreams about my aunt even though the dreams and fantasies always depict us as young adults, not the ages we are now! Trying to play psychologist, I've often wondered if maybe the reason they seem to have hung on with me all this time, is because they are fantasies that I know would never ever come true, today, or even back when we were all younger and more susceptible. Somehow I feel safe having those because they could never become real??? If anyone struggles with anything similar, please PM me. Also anyone who would be willing to put on a 'therapist' hat and help me down the road to recovery, I'd be eternally grateful. It's really the only deliberate sin that I struggle with as a Christ follower and would really like to put it behind me! Thanks and God bless, Lee

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)