Links

Join

Forums

Find Help

Recovery Readings

Spiritual Meditations

Chat

Contact


Go Back   Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums > Lounge > Humor
Register FAQ Community Calendar Arcade Today's Posts Search Chat Room

Share This Forum!  
 
        

Humor "We Are Not A Glum Lot." Share Articles, Humor, Inspirations, Jokes, News, Poems, Quotes, Writings, etc. Here. Keep It Clean Please.

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 09-24-2016, 11:31 AM   #1
bluidkiti
Administrator
 
bluidkiti's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 73,697
Default Funny Sayings

Funny Sayings

- They say money talks. Well, my money used to talk, then it whispered; now it just sneaks off.

- If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?

- Why do we say something is out of whack? What's in whack?

- When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in what happens to the other penny?

- Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

- Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

- Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

- Did Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

- Why is it that if someone tells a man that there are 1 billion stars in the universe, he will believe them, but if they tell a man a wall has wet paint, he will have to touch it to be sure?

- If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

- Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

- What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?

- If it were to be true that we are only here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

- Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?

- No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
bluidkiti is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Post New ThreadReply  

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Quotes, Sayings and Slogans bluidkiti Alcohol, Drugs and Other Addictions Recovery 37 09-02-2016 11:26 AM
a funny thing happened on the way to the forum A777dude@aol.com New Member Check In 2 09-18-2015 07:45 PM
Some Funny Thoughts bluidkiti Humor 0 12-20-2014 05:51 AM
Short Funny Sayings bluidkiti Humor 0 08-24-2013 03:37 PM


Click here to make a Donation

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:38 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.