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November 30
Daily Reflections PROTECTION FOR ALL At the personal level, anonymity provides protection for all members from identification as alcoholics, a safeguard often of special importance to newcomers. At the level of press, radio, TV, and films, anonymity stresses the equality in the Fellowship of all members by putting the brake on those who might otherwise exploit their A.A. affiliation to achieve recognition, power, or personal gain. "UNDERSTANDING ANONYMITY," p. 5 Attraction is the main force in the Fellowship of A.A. The miracle of continuous sobriety of alcoholics within A.A. confirms this fact every day. It would be harmful if the Fellowship promoted itself by publicizing, through the media of radio and TV, the sobriety of well-known public personalities who became members of A.A. If these personalities happened to have slips, outsiders would think our movement is not strong and they might question the veracity of the miracle of the century. Alcoholics Anonymous is not anonymous, but its members should be. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We have slips in A.A. It has been said these are not slips but premeditated drunks, because we have to think about taking a drink before we actually take one. The thought always comes before the act. It has been suggested that people should always get in touch with an A.A. before taking that first drink. The failure to do so makes it probable that they decided to take the drink anyway. And yet the thoughts that come before taking a drink are often largely subconscious. People usually don't know consciously what made them do it. Therefore, the common practice is to call these things slips. Am I on guard against wrong thinking? Meditation For The Day "The eternal God is thy refuge." He is a sanctuary, a refuge from the cares of life. You can get away from the misunderstanding of others by retiring into your own place of meditation. But from yourself, from your sense of failure, your weakness, your shortcomings, whither can you flee? Only to the eternal God, your refuge, until the immensity of His spirit envelopes your spirit and it loses its smallness and weakness and comes into harmony again with His. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may lose my limitations in the immensity of God's love. I pray that my spirit may be in harmony with His spirit. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It I Am Responsible . . ., p. 332 When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that: I am responsible. --Declaration of 30th Anniversary International Convention, 1965 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Spiritual pride Seeking humility Those of us who have found a Higher Power in our lives can feel truly blessed. We know we're on the right path by witnessing the wonderful changes that continue to come into our lives. One pitfall in this, however, is the risk of becoming "spiritually proud." We sometimes feel that our beliefs are so superior that others should accept them as well. We even become critical of the beliefs of others. If this happens, we actually will be severing our own conscious contact with our higher power. False pride is a new form will be back in charge. Others will sense this too, and may withdraw from us. Our best safeguard against this trap of spiritual pride is a reminder that we don't have all the answers. We can share our understanding with others, but we should never imply that we know what's best for them. Spiritual growth should being humility, not more of the pride that was destroying us. I can leave all outcomes in God's hands today, knowing that everything is being controlled in a spiritual way. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The purpose of freedom is to create it for others.---Bernard Malamud Sobriety is freedom. With this freedom, we have a responsibility to help other addicts who still suffer. The program tells us this in Step Twelve. We do this by telling our stories and offering hope. We must be ready to care, to give ourselves. This is what spirituality is about. When we help others, we prepare the road for those who enter the program after us. Tradition Five of the Twelve Traditions says, “Each group has but one primary purpose---to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.” It means we get better by helping others. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me create more freedom. Bring me to where I’m needed. Help me carry the message well. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll think of ways I can help the addict who still suffers. Then I’ll chose one way I can be of help. I’ll talk with my sponsor about it, and I’ll follow through with my plan. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Doubt indulged soon becomes doubt realized. --Frances Ridley Havergal We are powerless over our addictions, whether liquor, pills, people, food. We are powerless over the outcome of all events involving us. And we are powerless over the lives of our friends and family members. We are not powerless, however, over our own attitudes, our own behavior, our own self-image, our own determination, our own commitment to life and this simple program. Power aplenty we have, but we must exercise it in order to understand its breadth. We'll find all the day's activities, interactions, plans decidedly more exciting when we exercise control over our responses. We don't have to feel or respond except in the way that pleases us. We have total control and we'll find this realization exhilarating. Our recovery is strengthened each time we determine the proper behavior, choose an action that feels right, take responsibility where it is clearly ours to take. The benefits will startle us and bring us joy. I will take charge of my life today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS Lack of power, that was our dilemma. we had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power? Well, that’s exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. That means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral. And it means, of course, that we are going to talk about God. Here difficulty arises with agnostics. Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship. But his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when we mention God, for we have re-opened a subject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or entirely ignored. p. 45 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Women Suffer Too Despite great opportunities, alcohol nearly ended her life. Early member, she spread the word among women in our pioneering period. I'd waked up in strange rooms before, fully dressed on a bed or a couch; I'd waked up in my own room, in or on my own bed, not knowing what hour or day it was, afraid to ask . . . but this was different. This time I seemed to be already awake, sitting upright in a big easy chair, in the middle of an animated conversation with a perfectly strange young woman, who didn't appear to think it strange. She was chatting on, pleasantly and comfortably. p. 200 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. " Humility, as a word and as an ideal, has a very bad time of it in our world. Not only is the idea misunderstood; the word itself is often intensely disliked. Many people haven't even a nodding acquaintance with humility as a way of life. Much of the everyday talk we hear, and a great deal of what we read, highlights man's pride in his own achievements. p. 70 ************************************************** ********* A loving heart is the truest wisdom. --Charles Dickens "Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself." --unknown He is rich or poor according to what he is, not according to what he has. --Henry Ward Beecher All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen. --Ralph Waldo Emerson "To love another person is to see the face of God." --Victor Hugo ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation FATE "I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul." -- William E. Henley Things do not just happen, we make them happen. For years I thought that my getting well was dependent upon my family getting well. I rooted my recovery in the recovery of others. I was the typical co-dependent. Then somebody said, "Why don't you start taking responsibility for your own life?" I thought about that remark for weeks. I spent nights dwelling on the implications of those words. I am sure that I had heard similar sentiments a hundred times but that night, that special night, I was ready to hear them. A spiritual moment. Today I believe that such spiritual moments produce a spiritual process that I must keep alive. I am the deciding factor in what happens to me and what I can achieve. God has created me to be involved in my recovery. May I always steer my life in the direction of truth and love. ************************************************** ********* "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Matthew 26:41 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration You cannot really listen to someone and do something else at the same time. Lord, teach me to truly pay attention when someone speaks to me because it is in listening that I will gain wisdom. God doesn't always end the storm, but He will calm your spirit and give you the courage you need. Lord, I have come to know and believe in the love You have for me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Sharing The Real Me "Sharing with others keeps us from feeling isolated and alone." Basic Text pg. 81 Intimacy is the sharing of our innermost thoughts and feelings with another human being. Many of us long for the warmth and companionship intimacy brings, but those things don't come without effort. In our addiction, we learned to guard ourselves from others lest they threaten our using. In recovery, we learn how to trust others. Intimacy requires us to lower our defenses. To feel the closeness intimacy brings, we must allow others to get close to us - the real us. If we are to share our innermost selves with others, we must first have an idea of what those innermost selves are truly like. We regularly examine our lives to find out who we really are, what we really want, and how we really feel. Then, based on our regular inventories of ourselves, we must be as completely and consistently honest with our friends as we can be. Intimacy is a part of life, and therefore a part of living clean - and intimacy, like everything in recovery, has its price. The painstaking self-scrutiny intimacy calls for can be hard work. And the total honesty of intimacy often brings its own complications. But the freedom from isolation and loneliness that intimacy brings is well worth the effort. Just for today: I seek the freedom from isolation and loneliness that intimacy brings. Today, I will get to know "the real me" by taking a personal inventory, and I will practice being completely honest with another person. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I've never sung anything that I wasn't ready to sing. --Claudia Schmidt Most of us are curious about the "olden days" before we were born. We ask our parents what life was like when they were kids, what they did, what they looked like, and what they thought about. But most of us, even those who are parents ourselves, have probably never asked our parents, "Were you ready to go to school, to grow up, to get married, to get a job, to have me?" So often we are afraid to take even a small new step, afraid of change. We feel so alone in our uncertainty. From our point of view, if often looks as though everybody's ready except us. Perhaps another way to look at it is that, for most of our lives, readiness really isn't much of an issue. Were we ready to be born? Were we ready to walk, to read, to sing? Maybe we were; maybe not. What's important is what we did, not what we were ready to do. For life is mostly a matter of jumping in feet first shouting, "Here I come, ready or not!" What am I going to do today, ready or not? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. --Mark Twain It is hard for many of us to learn to admit the wrongs we do. We have followed lifestyles that led us away from recognizing our true feelings. Remnants of this blindness continue into our recovery. In this quiet time we can deepen and nourish a relationship with ourselves. Facing our disapproval and admitting it lead us to comfort and self-respect. Right now we can ask ourselves, "What messages do 1 receive from myself? What is my Higher Power telling me? Do I sense some gut feeling? Am I true to my relationships with loved ones? Have I been open to the feelings of my spouse. Of my friends? Of my boss? Do I owe anyone an apology which I can promptly make?" Some of us indulge in worry, fear, and anger beyond a useful or meaningful point. What can we do about these excesses of feeling? First, we admit them to ourselves and to others. Then, we trust our Higher Power for the outcome, and they will fall away. Today, I will nourish a relationship with myself by facing my own disapproval and growing toward greater comfort. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Doubt indulged soon becomes doubt realized. --Frances Ridley Havergal We are powerless over our addictions, whether liquor, pills, people, food. We are powerless over the outcome of all events involving us. And we are powerless over the lives of our friends and family members. We are not powerless, however, over our own attitudes, our own behavior, our own self-image, our own determination, our own commitment to life and this simple program. Power aplenty we have, but we must exercise it in order to understand its breadth. We'll find all the day's activities, interactions, plans decidedly more exciting when we exercise control over our responses. We don't have to feel or respond except in the way that pleases us. We have total control and we'll find this realization exhilarating. Our recovery is strengthened each time we determine the proper behavior, choose an action that feels right, take responsibility where it is clearly ours to take. The benefits will startle us and bring us joy. I will take charge of my life today. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Detachment One day, my son brought a gerbil home to live with us. We put it in a cage. Some time later, the gerbil escaped. For the next six months, the animal ran frightened and wild through the house. So did we - chasing it. "There it is. Get it!" we'd scream, each time someone spotted the gerbil. I, or my son, would throw down whatever we were working on, race across the house, and lunge at the animal hoping to catch it. I worried about it, even when we didn't see it. "This isn't right," I'd think. "I can't have a gerbil running loose in the house. We've got to catch it. We've got to do something." A small animal, the size of a mouse had the entire household in a tizzy. One day, while sitting in the living room, I watched the animal scurry across the hallway. In frenzy, I started to lunge at it, as I usually did, then I stopped myself. No, I said, I'm all done. If that animal wants to live in the nooks and crannies of this house, I'm going to let it. I'm done worrying about it. I'm done chasing it. It's an irregular circumstance, but that's just the way it's going to have to be. I let the gerbil run past without reacting. I felt slightly uncomfortable with my new reaction - not reacting - but I stuck to it anyway. I got more comfortable with my new reaction - not reacting. Before long, I became downright peaceful with the situation. I had stopped fighting the gerbil. One afternoon, only weeks after I started practicing my new attitude, the gerbil ran by me, as it had so many times, and I barely glanced at it. The animal stopped in its tracks, turned around, and looked at me. I started to lunge at it. It started to run away. I relaxed. "Fine," I said. "Do what you want." And I meant it. One hour later, the gerbil came and stood by me, and waited. I gently picked it up and placed it in its cage, where it has lived happily ever since. The moral of the story? Don't lunge at the gerbil. He's already frightened, and chasing him just scares him more and makes us crazy. Detachment works. Today, I will be comfortable with my new reaction - not reacting. I will feel at peace. Today I know my journey to peace and serenity begins with me. Today I have the faith and trust to seek my answers from within. --Ruth Fishel ************************************* Journey to the Heart Trust Each Moment Trust. Trust. Trust. Again and again, that’s the issue. See how much of your pain, your anguish, your tension arises simply from not trusting the absolute perfection of the present moment. I’ve lost my way. I’m off track. I’m somehow wrong– in the wrong place at the wrong time, doing the wrong thing. Where I’m going is a dead end. Oh, dear… You are not off track. You haven’t lost your way. You’re going somewhere worth going. Somewhere magnificent beyond the ability of your mind to comprehend. By trusting the perfection of each moment, you give yourself a gift: permission to enjoy the journey. Don’t just take the trip. Let yourself enjoy the ride. ************************************* More Language Of Letting Go Believe in the magic of life Listen to the Never haves Then listen close to me– Anything can happen, child, Anything can be. –Shel Silverstein All around us every day are those who would have us believe we can’t. They haven’t grown in their lives, so they tell us we can’t grow and change in ours. Belief systems are strong, but ideas are stronger. In 1899, the then chief of the U.S. patent office proposed closing it down. He said, “Everything that can be invented already has been.” We look back on a statement like that today and laugh, but how often do we believe it in our own lives? I can’t go back to school because I’m nearly fifty. I shouldn’t change careers now; I’ll lose my retirement. Sure, a boat like that is nice, but I’ll never have one; I’m just not rich enough. Maybe he can stay sober, but I can’t change my life. As children we’re filled with wonder at the world around us. Anything is possible, anything at all. But all too soon the weight of the shouldn’t's, impossible’s, and won’t's comes sneaking in around our shoulders tying us down to lowered expectations and limited beliefs. The world is flat. If you sail to the edge, you will fall off. Everything that can be invented already has been. Man will never walk on the moon. Believe in yourself. Believe in a wonderful God. Believe in the programs and support structures that help you every day. Say what it is you want, the lessons you want to learn, the goals you want to achieve, the relationships that you want to have, and then go out and allow the universe to manifest them in your life. The never have’s sit on the sidelines and tell you about all that can’t be. Will you join them or will you quietly go about doing the impossible on your own? Believe in the magic of I can. Tell the naysayers and never have’s I can, too. And so can you. Today, why not go to a park, sit on a bench, and think back to when you were a child. What were your dreams, your hopes? Are they really that far out of reach? Remember, anything can happen and quite often, it does. Thank you, God, for the glory of my journey so far. Be with me as I learn more about what I can accomplish through you. ************************************* Gladdening Nourishment Silliness by Madisyn Taylor Giving yourself permission to be silly will nourish your creativity and is a good exercise in letting go. Children appreciate all that is silly as a matter of course. Their grasp of humor is instinctual, and even the smallest absurdities provoke joyous gales of earnest laughter. As we age, this innate ability to see the value of silliness can diminish. Work takes precedence over play, and we have less incentive to exercise our imaginative minds by focusing on what is humorous. When we remember childhood, we may recall the pleasures of donning funny costumes, reciting nonsense poems, making up strange games, or playing pretend. This unabashed silliness nourished our vitality and creativity. We can take in this nourishment once again by giving ourselves permission to lighten up and be silly. Too often we reject the wonderful silliness that is an inherent, inborn aspect of the self because we believe that it serves no purpose or is at odds with the grown-up culture of maturity. We play yet we do not lose ourselves in play, and our imaginations are never truly given free reign because we regard the products of irrational creativity as being valueless. Yet silliness itself does indeed constitute a vital part of human existence on a myriad of levels. Our first taste of ethereal bliss is often a consequence of our willingness to dabble in what we deem outrageous, nonsensical, or absurd. We delight in ridiculousness not only because laughter is intrinsically pleasurable, but also because it serves as a reminder that existence itself is fun. Skipping, doodling, and singing funny songs are no less entertaining than they were when we were children. We need not lose all interest in these cheerful and amusing activities, but to make them a part of our lives we must be read! y to sacrifice a little dignity and a lot of fear. It is precisely because so much of life is inescapably serious that silliness should be regarded as a priority. Through the magic of imagination, you can be or become anything—a photographer, a professional athlete, a dancer, a pilot. Whether you take hundreds of silly pictures, revel in the adulation of your fans as you make the winning catch, boogie down rock-star style in front of your bedroom mirror, or turn your desk into a cockpit, the ensuing hilarity will help you see that lighthearted fun and adulthood are not at all incompatible. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************* A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day If you’re a negative thinker and are not yet ready to do an about-face, here are some guidelines that can keep you miserable for just as long as you wish to remain so. First, don’t go to meetings of The Program, especially discussion groups. If you somehow find yourself at a meeting, keep your mouth shut, your hands in your pockets, and your mind closed. Don’t try to solve an of your problems, never laugh at yourself, and don’t trust the other people in The Program. Above all, under no conditions should you try to live in the Now. Am I aware that negative thinking means taking myself deadly serious at all times, leaving no time for laughter — and for living. Today I Pray If I am feeling negative, may I check myself in the mirror that is the group for my symptoms of a closed mind; tight lips, forced smile, set law, straight-ahead glance — and not a glimmer of humor. God, grant me the ability to laugh at myself — often — for I need that laughter to cope with the everyday commotion of living. Today I Will Remember To laugh at myself. ************************************* One More Day It is in vain to say human beings outright to be satisfied with tranquility: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it. –Charolotte Bronte Tranquil: free from agitation; calm, peaceful. This we understand; this we desire. We surely want to have tranquil lives. Before chronic illness, we may have taken peace and tranquility for granted, for we were actively involved with the pursuit of life. Happiness and contentment came automatically along with the rest, with no conscious thought about it. Before long we began to understand that if we wished to be tranquil, our minds and our bodies needed activity. Tranquility, that inner sense of calm, comes from contentment with how we are living our lives — and how actively we are living. Tranquility will increase with my activity. ************************************ Food For Thought Survival We will never make it if we feel we are responsible for solving everyone else's problems. It is tempting to our ego to feel that we can exercise control over the lives of those around us, but it is counter to reality. We cannot protect those we love from sadness, sickness, or pain. Making martyrs of ourselves only prepares the ground for future retaliation. Our primary task is to remember our dependence on our Higher Power and by His grace to maintain our abstinence. The problems, which we face, are best deal with if our spiritual condition is strong. Without abstinence from compulsive overeating, we are not much help to anyone, least of all ourselves. There are times when all we can manage is to hang on, to survive. We know in our heads that these times will eventually pass. Practicing Step Eleven convinces us in our hearts that God is in charge, no matter how far away He may seem to be. By Your grace, may I survive the hard times. ***************************************** One Day At A Time BOUNDARIES People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. Joseph Fort Newton When I was growing up I remember always being lonely and I never had many friends. In order to protect myself from the pain of rejection, or perhaps because I didn't have self-esteem or believe in myself, I gave the impression that I didn't need people. I was probably thought of as a snob. I thought that people didn't like me because I was shy and introverted, but I had built up around myself an impenetrable protective wall which didn't invite anyone in. It was small wonder that I spent many lonely nights buried in a book or food or any other solitary pursuit for that matter. In my adult years I became a people-pleaser in the hopes that people would like me more. That even spilled over to include my children as well, which meant that I wasn't able to say no to them or anyone else unless they stopped loving me. I would say yes when I really meant no, and consequently I was always filled with resentment and felt even lonelier than ever. I didn't know how to set boundaries and was terrified that if I said no, people wouldn't love me anymore. I now know that when I set boundaries, it is an affirmation of my worth, and in most cases I am respected and liked by those people who are really my true friends. My children, too, have benefitted from my having set boundaries with them, and they have more respect for me than before. I am beginning to realize that it is just fine to do what is right for me, and that it doesn't have to jeopardize any of my relationships. One day at a time . . . I am learning that it is right for me to define my boundaries with those that I love, knowing that I set these boundaries in love and friendship, rather than hostility, and that I am still a lovable person. Sharon S. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death. - Pg. 30 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote It is easy to 'beat ourselves up' when we are lonely, scared, and feeling rejected by those we love. But if we go to meetings every day, find a sponsor and use him/her, read our literature, and follow the suggestions being give to us now, we really don't have much time to dwell on 'lonely, scared, and rejected.' Show me right now what I need to do to live this hour through, clean and sober. The Treasures Within Within me is the perfect life waiting to awaken. The gifts I seek are already within me. A deep pool of awareness and aliveness is present all of the time but I am too distracted to know it. I get so lost in the superficial details and tasks of my life that I forget to live it, to drop down and contact the spirit that God has planted within me. It is the best kept secret that spirit lives within me, that the way in which I come in touch with my inner light is through letting the constant preoccupations of my mind float by, not taking them so seriously, not trying to control them. Today I realize that the gold is not in my ability to control my mind, the gold is in what lies beneath. What emerges when my mind, for a precious moment, is stilled. Spirit is with me always - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote How important are the slogans? Sometimes, these are the only things we can bring to mind when we stand at a turning point, the thresh-hold of a crisis. The slogans work much better for me when I decorate my life with them rather than decorating the walls with them. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Judge yourself by your insides not by someone else's outsides. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I know my journey to peace and serenity begins with me. Today I have the faith and trust to seek my answers from within. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote After a few drinks I was capable of doing anything. As a result of which I stand before you tonight with no fantasy unlived. I have done everything that it has ever occurred to me to do - I'm deeply grateful that there are some things I never thought of. - Sean A.
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