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February 29
Daily Reflections ONE A.A. MIRACLE Save for the brief moments of temptation the thought of drink has never returned; and at such times a great revulsion has risen up in him. Seemingly he could not drink even if he would. God had restored his sanity. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 37 The word "God" was frightening to me when I first saw it associated with A.A.'s Twelve Steps. Having tried all the means I could to stop drinking, I found that it was not possible for me to sustain that desire over a period of time. Yet, how could I believe in a "God" that had allowed me to sink to the deep despair that engulfed me--whether drinking or dry? The answer was in finally admitting that it might be possible for me to know the mercy of a Power greater than myself who could grant me sobriety contingent on my willingness to "come to believe." By finally admitting that I was one among many, and by following the example of my sponsor and other A.A. members in practicing faith I did not have, my life has been given meaning, direction and purpose. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought for the Day Getting sober was a long and painful journey, but we can truthfully say it was worth it. We know now that all we've been through led us to A.A. and was part of our spiritual journey. We found in A.A. what we had been vainly seeking in the bottle. We've learned that our journey goes on as we continue to deal with our shortcomings and the human problems everybody must face. And when we reach a crossroads or a roadblock, we know that our Higher Power will come to our aid in making the right choices and surmounting all obstacles. Do I turn to my Higher Power to sustain me as I continue the spiritual journey that brought me to A.A.? Meditation for the Day As I continue on my spiritual journey, I will seek and follow Divine Guidance and know there is always a place prepared for me. Nothing but my own pride and fear can keep me from my dwelling place with God. I need not strain or struggle to obtain that which God wants me to have. My only responsibility is to accept God's guidance and follow the highest principles in all my affairs. Prayer for the Day I pray that I'll continue to seek guidance as my spiritual journey continues today. I pray to trust that I am always doing the right thing and am in the right place when my Higher Power is leading me. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It In Partnership, p. 220 As we made spiritual progress, it became clear that, if we ever were to feel emotionally secure, we would have to put our lives on a give-and-take basis; we would have to develop the sense of being in partnership or brotherhood with all those around us. We saw that we would need to give constantly of ourselves without demand for repayment. When we persistently did this, we gradually found that people were attracted to us as never before. And even if they failed us, we could be understanding and not too seriously affected. ******************************** The unity, the effectiveness, and even the survival of A.A. will always depend upon our continued willingness to give up some of our personal ambitions and desires for the common safety and welfare. Just as sacrifice means survival for the individual alcoholic, so does sacrifice mean unity and survival for the group and for A.A.'s entire Fellowship. 1. 12 & 12, pp. 115-116 2. A.A. Comes Of Age, pp. 287-288 ************************************************** ********* ?Walk in dry Places Giving the Right Support...............Carrying the message We're surrounded by people who need help...... financial and otherwise. It is sometimes tempting to believe that we can and should reach out to improve the conditions of their lives. This is not always an easy thing to do, or even a right thing to do. The early AA members who tried this finally decided to limit most of their help simply to carrying the Twelve Step message. While this seemed callous, it was really the only practical approach to a difficult problem. Many people are able to solve their own financial problems when they really understand and practice the Twelve Step program. If they still need other assistance, it is then given and received in ways that work. In any case, we should always seek guidance and direction from our Higher Power when considering or offering any kind of assistance. We'll then know that any support we give will be the right kind. I'll be willing today to assist others in any way I can. I will not, however, take responsibility for running their lives. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple I have never seen a greater monster or miracle than myself.----Montaigne We know we’ve hurt people. We’ve heard our family cry out from pain we’ve caused them. Because of alcohol and other drugs, we acted like monsters. But we now live surrounded with love. We now work to make this world better. Recovery is a miracle. The rebirth of our spirit is our miracle. It’s no wonder we love life the way we do! We’ve been given a second chance. Our joy is overflowing. Our Higher Power must love us very much. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me with the monster that lives within me. I pray it will never again be let out. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll see myself as a miracle. I’ll be grateful for my new life. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. ~ Helen Keller The next 24 hours are guaranteed to excite us, to lift us to new levels of understanding, to move us into situations with others where we can offer our unique contributions. All that is asked of us is a willingness to trust that we will be given just what we need at each moment. We can dare to live, fully, just for today. We can appreciate the extraordinariness of every breath we take, every challenge we encounter. Within each experience is the invitation for us to grow, to reach out to others in caring ways, to discover more fully the person we are capable of being. We must not let a single moment go by unnoticed. When we withdraw from life, we stunt our growth. We need involvement with others, involvement that perturbs us, humors us, even stresses us. We tape our internal resources only when we have been pushed to our limits, and our participation in life gifts us, daily, with that push. How necessary the push! None of us will pass this way again. What we see and feel and say today are gone forever. We have so much to regret when we let things slip away unnoticed or unappreciated. A special series of events has been planned for me today. I shall not miss it. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 9 - The Family Afterward At the very beginning, the couple ought to frankly face the fact that each will have to yield here and there if the family is going to play an effective part in the new life. Father will necessarily spend much time with other alcoholics, but this activity should be balanced. New acquaintances who know nothing of alcoholism might be made and thoughtful considerations given their needs. The problems of the community might engage attention. Though the family has no religious connections, they may wish to make contact with or take membership in a religious body. p. 131 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories GUTTER BRAVADO - Alone and unemployable, he was given two options by the court, get help or go to jail, and his journey toward teachability began. The downward spiral of my life began making smaller circles. My driving record included accidents and a ticket list that would raise a policeman's eyebrows. When I carried insurance, it was high risk. I grew sneakier and less outwardly defiant. Despite breaking laws routinely for years, I stayed out of big trouble for the most part. A few times they almost had me, but I managed to scam on technicalities or I got another break. Finally an indiscretion committed years earlier came back to haunt me. I was about to have a forced encounter with the federal judicial system. I began to feel like a clown juggling too many balls. Each ball represented a problem I was keeping in the air. My arms were weary and I knew I couldn't keep on much longer, but I was not about to give up. My pride and ego wouldn't let me. Bosses, judges, co-workers, lawyers, car notes, bar tabs, loan sharks, utility payments, landlords, my girlfriend, people I had double-crossed--I looked too all these as the source of my problems, while overlooking the most basic problem: my drinking and myself. I'd known for a long time that I desperately wanted off this merry-go-round, but I had no idea how to do it. pp. 505-506 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." A.A. has many single alcoholics who wish to marry and are in a position to do so. Some marry fellow A.A.'s. How do they come out? On the whole these marriages are very good ones. Their common suffering as drinkers, their common interest in A.A. and spiritual things, often enhance such unions. It is only where "boy meets girl on A.A. campus," and love follows at first sight, that difficulties may develop. The prospective partners need to be solid A.A.'s and long enough acquainted to know that their compatibility at spiritual, mental, and emotional levels is a fact and not wishful thinking. They need to be as sure as possible that no deep-lying emotional handicap in either will be likely to rise up under later pressures to cripple them. The considerations are equally true and important for the A.A.'s who marry "outside" A.A. With clear understanding and right, grown-up attitudes, very happy results do follow. pp. 119-120 ************************************************** ********* Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th. --J. Andrews Don't analyze the program, utilize the program. People may fail you, but the program won't. This is a program of change and spiritual progress. Today I can set my goals with the clear and confident knowledge that I can only do one thing at a time and take one step at a time towards that goal. I do not need to wait until I reach the goal to be happy and satisfied. I am fulfilled with each step, knowing that is all I can do in each moment. --Ruth Fishel To be at one with God is to be at peace... peace is to be found only within, and unless one finds it there he will never find it at all. Peace lies not in the external world. It lies within one's own soul. --Ralph W. Trine It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into the doing and sharing with others that is important. Try not to judge people. If you judge others then you are not giving love. -- Mother Teresa "Praying is asking God for help, meditating is listening for God's answer." ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation CHANGE "Nothing stays the same. When you think you've got something down, it changes!" --Leo Booth Today I am aware that life is about change and even the familiar, at some point in the future, transforms. When I was drinking, I hated change. I wanted to control everything and everyone; things had to be my way. Naturally, if you had asked me if I needed to be in charge, I would have replied, "Certainly not!" The addict's disease is fed by illusion and denial. Today I take a leap of faith and trust that the Universe will still be around in the morning, and it will probably look much the same. Today I try to accept, one day at a time, that variety really is the spice of life and that must include the awkward ingredient of change. Creator, I accept and welcome the spiritual ingredient of change in my life. ************************************************** ********* Truly I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it shall move; and nothing shall be impossible to you. Matthew 17:20 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you. James 4:10 Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5 Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Matthew 22:37-39 "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity". Colossians 3:13-14 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration No situation is too difficult if God is with you. Lord, we are a perfect team. You provide the tools and I provide the labor. Never doubt the power, the wisdom and the love that God has for you. Lord, thank You for Your constant care and the certainty of Your love for me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Anything! “Our disease has been arrested, and now anything is possible. We become increasingly open-minded and open to new ideas in all areas of our lives.” Basic Text, p. 106 For many of us, our first few months or years in NA are a wonderful time. We’re willing to try anything, and our eyes are constantly opened to new joys and new horizons. Finally freed from active addiction, our recovery young and fresh, anything seems possible. With a little time clean under our belts, however, there may be less urgency to our program. We might not be quite as willing as we once were to put to use the experience of others. We may have encountered a few seemingly intractable defects in our character, whittling away at the boundless optimism of our early recovery. We know too much to believe that anything is possible. How do we restore enthusiasm to our recovery? We pray about it; we share about it; and we seek out the enthusiasm we are lacking. There are members—some with more time clean than ourselves, some with less—who have the enthusiasm we seek, and who will be happy to share it with us if we ask them to. To gain the benefit of their experience, however, we must practice open-mindedness and become teachable again. When we become open to new ideas and willing to try them out we’ll find that, once more, anything seems possible. Just for today: There is always more to learn and someone to learn from in my recovery. Today, I will be open to new ideas and willing to try them out. As long as I am, I know that anything is possible. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Belief consists in accepting the affirmations of the soul; unbelief, in denying them. --Ralph Waldo Emerson What do we believe? Do we believe in ourselves? Do we believe we have enough time and energy to do what we need? Or do we believe that things will turn out badly for us? Someone said that fear is faith in the negative. We can choose to believe the worst will happen, or we can choose to believe we deserve good things. We can believe the right things will happen at the right time. What we believe becomes true for us because we behave as though it were true. For this reason, it is wise to choose our beliefs carefully. The more we choose the positive, the more aware we become that our choices are many. This means telling ourselves that we're all right just as we are, and acting as though it were true without question. How can I make my world better today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Power is strength and the ability to see yourself through your own eyes and not through the eyes of another. It is being able to place a circle of power at your own feet and not take power from someone else's circle. --Agnes Whistling Elk Emancipation as adult men, seeing ourselves through our own eyes, is difficult. As children, we could have our separateness only in small measure. As men, we first bring some boyhood ideas to what we experience. We may be arrogant, thinking we already know the answers to life's dilemmas; or defiant, thinking we don't want anyone to tell us what to do; or self-indulgent, grabbing for the greatest pleasure. Those ideas delay seeing ourselves through our own eyes. Personal power comes when we listen to ourselves and to others. To be independent of everyone may have been our youthful idea of power. In manhood, power comes in being open and honest about our dependency, yet knowing we have no claim on anyone else to make us happy. I will place a circle of power at my own feet and stand with dignity inside the circle. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. . . . I was taught that the way of progress is neither swift nor easy. --Marie Curie We are looking for progress, not perfection; however, we sometimes get lost or confused between the two. Expecting ourselves to be perfect at something we are only now learning is a familiar affliction. As we accept our humanness, we'll allow the mistakes that are a normal part of the process of living and learning--a process we call progress. Our need to be perfect will lessen with time. And we can help ourselves break the old habits. Perfection and self-worth are not symbiotic, except in our minds. And it's a symbiosis that has done us a grave injustice. Breaking the old thought patterns takes a commitment. We must first decide and believe that we are worthwhile, simply because we are. There is only one of us; we have a particular gift to offer this world. And our being is perfect as is. Affirming this, repeatedly, is our beginning. But with this, too, progress will be slow; perfection need only be worked for, not achieved. The patterns I am weaving with my life are complex, full of intricate detail and knots. I need to go slow, taking only one stitch at a time. With hindsight I will see that whatever the progress, it was the perfect fit to the overall design. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. You Are Lovable We go back and back and back...through the layers of fear, shame, rage, hurt, and negative incantations until we discover the exuberant, unencumbered, delightful, and lovable child that was, and still is, in us. --Beyond Codependency You are lovable. Yes, you. Just because people haven't been there for you, just because certain people haven't been able to show love for you in ways that worked, just because relationships have failed or gone sour does not mean that you're unlovable. You've had lessons to learn. Sometimes, those lessons have hurt. Let go of the pain. Open your heart to love. You are lovable. You are loved. Today, I will tell myself I'm lovable. I will do this until I believe it. Positive energy attracts positive energy. Today my Higher Power continues to guide my growth so that I am more and more open. I am becoming free and unblocked and am attracting all that is good and right in my life. --Ruth Fishel God help me to stay sober and clean today! ************************************************ Journey To The Heart See All the Landscape Climb to the top of a mountain. What do you see? Valleys as well as mountains. When you're on top of a mountain, you don't think, This is all there is. Or when you're driving through a hot, dusty valley, you don't think, This is all there is. You know there is more. You know the truth. Both exist, and more besides. Life isn't an either/or situation. Don't work so hard forcing everything to be only good, delightful, joyous, or pleasant, for when you reach the valley, you'll become as miserably certain that life is only pain, sadness, and tragedy. You're wasting energy when you try to convince yourself that life is only one or the other. Look around. See all the landscapes-- valleys, oceans, plains, and yes, mountaintops. That's what life is; all of it. Enjoy the view. ************************************************ more language of letting go Let go of timidity Live big! --Brady Michaels Sometimes, that's the best advice we can hear. Win or lose, succeed or fail, go for it, and go all the way. As my flight instructor told me on the first day of flying lessons, "Keep one hand on the throttle and one hand on the yoke." "Aahhhhh!" I would say during my early lessons as the plane lifted into the air, but I kept the throttle pushed all the way in. There are times when it's wise to be cautious. And there are times when the best thing we can do-- the only thing we can do-- is go for it by living big. Ask her out. Request the raise. Say no-- and mean it. Learn to drive a race car or climb a tall hill. Learn to snorkel or surf. Dreams remain dreams until you act upon them. Then they become real life. Will you throw a few coins into the beggar's cup, or will you bring him a hamburger and fries from the local fast-food place? Will you do an average job at work, or will you look for ways to go big-- really give it your best-- in the everyday areas of your job? Will you put your all-- your heart and emotions-- into the relationship with the people you love? Will you wait for another more convenient time to pray, or will you start genuinely trusting God? You don't have to get a life. You've already got one. Live it, and live big. God, help me let go of my fear and timidity, and learn to live big. ************************************************ Layers of Feeling Coping with Passive Aggression Passive aggression is most often wielded by those who feel powerless and want to avoid their own true feelings. Many people are taught from a young age to suppress feelings commonly regarded as negative, such as anger, resentment, fear, and sorrow. Those who cannot or will not express these emotions tend to engage in passive- aggressive behaviors that provide them with a means of redirecting their feelings. Passive aggression can take many forms: People who feel guilty saying “no” may continually break their promises because they couldn’t say no when they meant it. Others will substitute snide praise for a slur to distance themselves from the intense emotions they feel. More often than not, such behavior is a cry for help uttered by those in need of compassion and gentle guidance. When we recognize passive-aggressive patterns in the behavior of others, we should never allow ourselves to be drawn into a struggle for power. Passive aggression is most often wielded by those who feel powerless in the face of what they perceive as negative emotions because they hope to avoid confronting their true feelings. They feel they are in control because they do not display overt emotion and often cannot understand how they have alienated their peers. If someone close to us shows signs of frustration or annoyance but claims nothing is amiss, we can point out that their tone of voice or gestures are communicating a different message and invite them to confide in us. When we feel slighted by a backhanded compliment, it is important that we calmly explain how the jibe made us feel and why. And when an individual continually breaks their promises, we can help them understand that they are free to say no if they are unwilling to be of service. As you learn to detect passive aggression, you may be surprised to see a hint of it in yourself. Coping with the natural human tendency to veil intense emotions can be as simple as reminding yourself that expressing your true feelings is healthy. The emotions typically regarded as negative will frequently be those that inspire you to change yourself and your life for the better, whereas passive-aggressive behavior is a means of avoiding change. When you deal constructively with your feelings, you can put them behind you and move forward unencumbered by unexplored emotion. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************ A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Just for today, I'll not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless fears, I'll track them down and expose their unreality. I'll remind myself that God is in charge of me and my life, and that all I have to do is accept His protection and guidance. What happened yesterday need not trouble me today. Do I accept the fact that it's in my power to make today a good one just by the way I think about it and what I do about it? Today I Pray May I make today a good day. May I know that it is up to me to assign to it qualities of goodness, through a positive attitude toward what the present is providing. May I be untroubled by vestiges of yesterday. Please, God, remain close to me all through this day. Today I Will Remember To make it good. ************************************************ One More Day Once you have experienced the seriousness of your loss you will be able to experience the wonder of being alive. -- Robert Veninga Age and illness force us to come to terms with the sometimes harsh reality of being human. When someone close to us dies, we may be overwhelmed with sadness. We might grieve over and over until it seems we can grieve no more. And then we begin to heal. Granted, it takes time and a good bit of faith, but we do recover. Slowly. One day at a time. Many of us have experienced sorrow over changes in our health. With time and faith, however, we're learning that the anger and sadness also heal. And eventually we recognize that our experience has made us more sensitive, more caring, and more receptive to the gift of life. I will grieve my losses and then move, once again, into a fulfilling, joyful life. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ Patience ~ There is no fruit which is not bitter before it is ripe. Publilius Syrus There are some things in life you simply cannot rush. In the early stages of my disease, I went through life like a steam roller ... impatiently starting one project after another. If there was something in my life that depended on the actions of another for resolution, it was excruciating while waiting on the decision. As a result, sometimes decisions were forced. I have made many bad decisions because of lack of patience. I have learned that sometimes we have to turn decisions over to others ... we have to let go and let others take control. We must wait it out and hope that our decision to let go was a good one. Many times it is. Sometimes it isn't. I have become a very patient person ... and sometimes that is to my detriment. It can be hard to find a middle ground in the decision making process. Snap decisions aren't good. Neither are those we sit on forever. One Day at a Time . . . I will patiently wait on my Higher Power to direct me ... to guide me ... and to help me with the decisions I must make. ~ Mari ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote "Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help." Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 62 Hour To Hour - Book - Quote When our muscles tighten, we get tense, headachy; when we sweat, feel like screaming, this is withdrawal; it is not fun. But in order to recover, the poisons must leave our body. We stay close to the Fellowship and ask God to help. Please help me one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time if need be. Patience with Myself Today, I will be patient with myself. When I do not do as well as I wish I would, I will not make that a reason to get down on myself. I will instead recognize that the fastest way to bring myself out of a painful funk is through understanding and being good to myself. I needn’t get caught in my own cycle of shame, resentment and blame. If a child is upset, I comfort the child because I understand that is what will makes things better. I give myself the same comfort that I would extend to a hurt child knowing that it will help me have the strength to forgive and move on - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Often the shadow of addiction falls across out good intentions. It is so hard to stay sober and clean at times. This is not a picnic for us. When it gets unbearable, ASK FOR HELP from a recovering fellow addict, your counselor, your pastor or your group. The Divine gently nudges me to ask for help, as I need it. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Don’t tell your Higher Power how big the problem is; tell the problem how big your Higher Power is. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am exactly where I am supposed to be today. Everything about this day, this place, this moment is perfect. Everything about me is perfect in this moment. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Worrying is like being in a rocking chair; it gives me something to do but it doesn’t get me anywhere. – Anon.
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