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Humor "We Are Not A Glum Lot." Share Articles, Humor, Inspirations, Jokes, News, Poems, Quotes, Writings, etc. Here. Keep It Clean Please.

 
 
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Old Today, 11:04 AM   #1
bluidkiti
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 73,334
Default Middle Age

Middle Age

A few thoughts to make you realize that we're not wine when
it comes to aging.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything
else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of
memory, the other two I forget.

You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse
goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun -- and fun a lot
more work.

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five
women to every man. Isn't that the darndest time for a guy
to get those odds?

You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the
office start confiding in you.

Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get
tired.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too
old to go anywhere.

Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends,
and have begun to grow in the middle.

A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow
down by his doctor instead of by the police.

Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and
choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

You know you're into middle age when you realize that
caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it
will avoid you.

You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your
car in the parking lot.

You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you
can't get it started.

You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after
feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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