Just for Today

[MajestyJo]

NA Just for Today

July 24

The masks have to go

Page 214

"...we covered low self-esteem by hiding behind phony images that we hoped would fool people. The masks have to go."

Basic Text, p. 33

Over-sensitivity, insecurity, and lack of identity are often associated with active addiction. Many of us carry these with us into recovery; our fears of inadequacy, rejection, and lack of direction do not disappear overnight. Many of us have images, false personalities we have constructed either to protect ourselves or please others. Some of us use masks because we're not sure who we really are. Sometimes we think that these images, built to protect us while using, might also protect us in recovery.

We use false fronts to hide our true personality, to disguise our lack of self-esteem. These masks hide us from others and also from our own true selves. By living a lie, we are saying that we cannot live with the truth about ourselves. The more we hide our real selves, the more we damage our self-esteem.

One of the miracles of recovery is the recognition of ourselves, complete with assets and liabilities. Self esteem begins with this recognition. Despite our fear of becoming vulnerable, we need to be willing to let go of our disguises. We need to be free of our masks and free to trust ourselves.

Just for Today: I will let go of my masks and allow my self esteem to grow.

Just today I shared a memory with a friend. I told her of a person in my group who said, "Just because you change the color of your hair, do you think we won't recognize you." It changed from black, black and white, and as I smoked more, I had yellow in their like I had been a blond. I covered up the gray (and yellow from nicotine), with black, auburn, and then with a couple of errors with chlorine, plum and maroon, then brown, very short, short gray, blond, until the gray was mostly white. That's the story of my life! LOL! Even in recovery I went through an identity crisis until I allowed myself to be me.