Look Again

[MajestyJo]

Love the premise of this. Remember we have a disease of perception. Go back and look again, not just at the people, but listen to the message. Just because some person is in the rooms of recovery, doesn`t mean they have sobriety, they may be sober in today, but they may not have learned yet to walk their talk. Recovery is a process like all things. It is a one day at a time program. I just might walk it a little better in today than I did yesterday.

I know before I came to recovery, I could stop but I couldn`t stay stopped. When I got here, I didn`t think I was an alcoholic, but I found that I wanted to what they had. I knew I was an addict, but my denial kept me sick for a long time.

I thought if I just faked it and said I was one, they would let me keep coming back. As they say, bring the body and the mind will follow. I knew that I belonged, I felt at home, but there was a part of me that was holding out. It was that escape route, fear that it wouldn`t work for me, even though I saw people who had been clean for weeks, months and years, I thought I was different, especially since I had been raised in the church, so that made me an extra big whopping SIN. What I found was that I was a soul in need, looking outside of myself for gratification, and anything will do that would allow me to shut down, run away, or cope with life and my friend became my enemy.

I was searching for that feeling, the one when the first mouthful hits bottom, I would find it, but I couldn`t stop there, I had to have more.

Look more into recovery instead of your mind set that you don`t have a problem and you are not like them. Even people who don`t drink and drug, need the program in whatever fellowship they choose. It is a family disease. Look around you and how your actions are affecting others. Sometimes the family can be sicker than the alcoholic and addict. There focus is on the next fix, while family is looking at the alcoholic and addict, and not living their own lives.

I am just F.I.NE., not so good, when it means frustrated, insecure, neurotic, and emotional.