We Do Recover

[MajestyJo]

From "How It Works:"

"Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought."


1976, Alcoholics Anonymous, page 60

This was posted on another site on: Feb 28, 2005, 1:11 pm

The whole thing gives me goose bumps. One of my favourite parts in the BB to begins with. What I call the 1, 2, 3 Waltz. I can't, God can, and just for today, I choose to let Him.

It was also special to me, because it was posted at 1:11 p.m. To me that is a very spiritual connected time.

Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.


This is the part of How It Works I want to talk about today. So many people grasp onto this as an excuse for relapse. They don't even know the meaning of the word.

It means, knowing the truth, but doing it anyway, not caring. Sadly, it describes my son, more than anyone else I know. He was 25 when I came into treatment and he has been in treatment 5 times himself. He says to me, "Don't tell me Mom, I know." It is also a disease of perception. The only one to break through that is his God.

So many times we played games and tried to control our drinking. We changed brands, we mixed it with other things, like me who HATED beer, couldn't stand the smell or the taste, I added Coca-Cola too it and all it did was spoil the taste of my Cola, my first addiction.

I found this picture at Angelwinks today. When we something in a shape we recognize we don't like we say no, but if it had our drink of choice in there, how quickly we would change our tune.

When I broke with my husband, I knew I had to quit drinking because I couldn't afford to keep me in the style that I had become accustomed is what I said, but in reality, it was the fact that I just drank too much and didn't get enough to keep up my habit and didn't want to pay the price to keep it up. So I would go to darts or bridge, then go down to the bar, which gave just enough time to have two drinks before I went home for the night. I didn't recognize it as controlled drinking until I came into recovery. What you have to control, is already out of control.

The same thing was true with my pills, if I had taken my quota for the day of all my pills and maybe sneaked one or two more on the side, I would add Gravol to the mix, which I called my candy, to make everything work faster. There always had to be that something extra. Like the two extra 222s that I took with the last drink every night so I wouldn't wake up with a hang over. I don't ever remember if it worked. Didn't have too many hangovers. But then, I went to bed late when I was doing the heavy drinking, got up late, and went to the Legion. How can a girl tell. When I lived with my Dad, it was always there.

Continued