THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO - NOVEMBER 2014

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, November 16, 2014

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

The Victim Trap

The belief that life has to be hard and difficult in the belief that makes a martyr.

We can change our negative beliefs about life, and whether we have the power to stop our pain and take care of ourselves.

We aren't helpless. We can solve our problems. We do have power - not to change or control others, but to solve the problems that are ours to solve.

Using each problem that comes our way to "prove" that life is hard and we are helpless - this is codependency. It's the victim trap.

Life does not have to be difficult. In fact, it can be smooth. Life is good. We don't have to "awfulize" it, or ourselves. We don't have to live on the underside.

We do have power, more power than we know, even in the difficult times. And the difficult times don't prove life is bad; they are part of the ups and downs of life; often, they work out for the best.

We can change our attitude; we can change ourselves; sometimes, we can change our circumstances.

Life is challenging. Sometimes, there's more pain than we asked for; sometimes, there's more joy than we imagined.

It's all part of the package, and the package is good.

We are not victims of life. We can learn to remove ourselves as victims of life. By letting go of our belief that life has to be hard and difficult, we make our life much easier.

Today, God, help me let go of my belief that life is so hard, so awful, or so difficult. Help me replace that belief with a healthier, more realistic view.

My sister use to play act out this little scene, with her hand on her forehead, palm and fingers outward, with a swan song, fainting attitude and say, "Oh woe is me, I am oh so hard done by." You had to be there to really appreciate it." She did it well, you almost believed her.

The scary part is that some people do feel that way and so many think the world owes them a favour without having to work for it, especially those caught up in addiction who try to beat the system. These people make it difficult for those who do have a hard time due to circumstances in their life. There is no shame in asking for help. We are so often the victim of other people's choices. That doesn't mean we have to stay there. The help is out there. Just because we are there or were there, doesn't mean we are worthy of being in a better place.