Today's Thought - August

[bluidkiti]

August 16

Forming new habits

We form habits and then these habits begin to form us. For so long we had such self-destructive ways of being: We were self-centered, angry, and critical people, and so we behaved selfishly, angrily, and judgmentally in the world.

To stay clean and sober we must develop new habits, new patterns of living. We must give up old hangouts, old friends, old attitudes, and ideas. It seems this is the only way to form new habits - for example, kindness, love, and honesty - on which our program is based.

What habits do I want to develop?

Higher Power, Help me to form new habits to replace the old ones that nearly destroyed my life.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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August 17

Reflection for the Day

Looking back, I realize just how much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. It provided much self-satisfaction, to be sure, but I see now just how subtle and actually perverse the process became. After all was said and done, the net effect of dwelling on the so-called faults of others was self-granted permission to remain comfortably unaware of my own defects. Do I still point my finger at others and thus self-deceptively overlook my own shortcomings?

Today I Pray

May I see that my preoccupation with the faults of others is really a smokescreen to keep me from taking a hard look at my own, as well as a way to bolster my own failing ego. May I check out the "why's" of my blaming.

Today I Will Remember

Blame-saying is game-playing.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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August 18

No person could save another.
--Joyce Carol Oates

We encounter the experiences we need in our lives. It's sometimes hard to believe that when we're grappling with disappointment, anger, or loss. Yet everything that comes our way is material for our growth.

Many of us entertain a fantasy that some person can complete us. We don't believe that we're complete in ourselves. Only when we do will we become able to share in a life-enhancing partnership with another person. Only when we love ourselves can we love others realistically, instead of seeing them as fantasy figures, projections of our own desire.

No one can hurt us emotionally unless we allow the hurt. We're full partners in everything that we do, and taking responsibility for our actions and our desires is our first step toward being fully lovable.

The only one who can save me is me.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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August 19

I couldn't hit a wall with a six-gun, but I can twirl one. It looks good.
--John Wayne

Many of us fake emotions because our past experiences never taught us how to use boundaries when dealing with feelings. Now we are oftentimes stumped when it comes to knowing how we should feel or act when we are faced with emotional situations.

Sometimes we need to learn to "fake it till we make it." What is asked of us is to act the part until the part becomes us.

We may not know how to feel anticipation around holidays - but we want to experience joy. We may not know what it feels like to really trust someone, but we would love to be in that position. What we can learn to do is "act as if" - working all the time to liberate the frozen emotions of years gone by - until we actually do experience what we seek.

Like new shoes, my new behaviors and feelings will feel stiff and uncomfortable for a little while. I am willing to live through the "breaking in" period.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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August 20

One day at a time.

*****
You've got to give time, time.

*****
Insanity:
Doing exactly the same thing over and over,
expecting different results.

*****
The Serenity Prayer is the handrail to grab
until you can work the Steps.

You are reading from the book:

My Mind Is Out to Get Me by Dr. Ron B.

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August 20

Patience is needed with everyone, but first of all with ourselves.
--Saint Francis De Sales

One night Sandra was having trouble putting a puzzle together. Angrily, she pushed all the pieces into a huge pile.

"I can't do this," she said. She got up and walked over to the couch and plopped down.

"Let me tell you a story," said her dad, as he sat down next to her. "There was a daughter who helped her dad take care of her baby sister. Again and again, she helped her baby sister stand and try to walk. One day the daughter tried to put a puzzle together but gave up after only a few tries. She had forgotten how many times she had helped her baby sister."

We are all like Sandra, sometimes. We forget to allow ourselves to fail, even though our growth up to now has been a series of failures that we've learned from. With patience, we allow ourselves to take chances we might not otherwise explore, and we widen our world of possibilities. Life has been patient with us so far, now it's our turn.

What have I failed at that I can try again today?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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August 22

He's making me crazy. I don't understand. Why would someone say they were going to do one thing, then do something so different from what they say? He looks so good and talks so good. His promises sound so, so real, but then everything falls apart. Then about the time I'm ready to blow a gasket, he calls, charms my socks off, and the whole cycle starts over again. I walk away, scratching my head and wondering, What's wrong with me? Did I just imagine this whole thing? Did I overact? I don't get it, I don't understand.

Maybe it's time for an Al-Anon meeting.

And when we're talking on the phone, I feel like I'm the only one for him. But then when I see him, I know he's lying to me. I know he's seeing someone else and standing there looking me right in the eyes and lying about it. I don't understand why I feel so insane.

Maybe it's time for an Al-Anon meeting.

And then I catch him straight-out lying to me, and I blow up. I just can't stand that lying stuff, especially when I knew all the time he was lying to me and he denied it. I put up with it and put up with it and then finally I can't take it anymore. By the time I blow up, he's standing there looking calm and serene and I'm acting like an insane person.

It's not you, It's him. How about that meeting?

Oh yeah. That Al-Anon meeting.

"Step One: Powerless over people, places, and things. My life has become unmanageable." Take a deep breath. Say it again. Then say it one more time.


Detach in love. Disentangle. Un-embroil yourself from other people's insanity so you can be restored to sanity. It's a value many of us learned the hard way.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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August 23

Many people think they can't paint, but I think everyone has artistic ability of some kind.
-- Eva Wines

Many of us probably don't agree with Eva, particularly if we haven't tried to paint or weave or write or throw pots. We mistakenly think that others have talent, never ourselves, but that's because we misunderstand what talent means. Talent is really just an inclination; it develops from a desire to pursue some activity that we then proceed to cultivate with a passion. It's not mysterious. It doesn't just happen. We persevere because we feel good when involved in the activity. When we define talent this way, we realize how right Eva is. It's just that many of us haven't followed our passion yet.

Coming to understand that we do, indeed, have talent, that it has simply lain dormant until now, is perhaps one of the most exciting aspects of our lives presently. If we haven't yet realized this, dare to believe it now. It will change every minute of the rest of your life.

Today is a good day to pursue one of my dreams.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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August 24

Anger helps straighten out a problem like a fan helps straighten out a pile of papers.
--Susan Marcotte

Some of us have temper tantrums. Like black clouds, we threaten an outburst at any moment. Other people learn to check us out for storm warnings. They want time to clear out or at least to put on a protective covering. We've caught them by surprise before, and they didn't like it. Now they've learned to watch out - to stay on their toes when we're around. Intimidating people, making them glad when we're not around so they can relax, is a poor way to relate to others.

And what do the outbursts do for us? Is there a cheap sense of power or control for a few minutes? Are we advertising to the world that we're short on coping skills? Or do we tell ourselves that letting off steam is necessary once in a while, conveniently forgetting the steam blasting in other people's faces?

No tirade ever solved a problem. Anger is not a strategy. We don't have the right to rain on other people's parades. Our program can teach us better ways to deal with our anger - with honesty and fairness to ourselves and others.

Today, I ask my Higher Power for a peaceful and honest heart.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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August 25

Suffering is a journey which has an end.
--Matthew Fox

Pain is part of life. To live a spiritual life, we need a way to understand the suffering we sometimes endure. Looking back at other difficult times can give us a better perspective of the pain we feel today. All of us can recall a loss or a sudden difficult change that we never would have chosen for ourselves. Perhaps it brought us face to face with insecurities or doubts about our survival. Now, after the suffering has ended, we see how much we grew. We changed; we were strengthened and, perhaps, were liberated by what happened to us.

Thoughts about today's suffering may not be clear as to what good it holds for us. But we are on a journey, and it can only happen one step at a time. We know that journeys teach us great lessons and they do have endings. Our pain today affirms that we are vital and alive people. We know others suffer as we do, and we can turn to each other to give and receive comfort while we are on the journey.

My pain will teach me something I need to know, and it will have an end. I will pay attention to its lessons.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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August 26

Clarity

I know better than to not trust God. But sometimes, I forget that.

When we are in the midst of an experience, it is easy to forget that there is a Plan. Sometimes, all we can see is today.

If we were to watch a weaver sewing a tapestry for only a few moments, and focused on only a small piece of the work, it would not look beautiful. It would look like a few peculiar threads randomly placed. How often we use that same, limited perspective to look at our life - especially when we are going through a difficult time.

We can learn to have perspective when we are going through those confusing, difficult learning times. When we are being pelted by events that make us feel, think, and question, we are in the midst of learning something important.

We can trust that something valuable is being worked out in us - even when things are difficult, even when we cannot get our bearings. Insight and clarity do not come until we have mastered our lesson.

Faith is like a muscle. It must be exercised to grow strong. Repeated experiences of having to trust what we can't see and repeated experiences of learning to trust that things will work out, are what makes our faith muscles grow strong.

Today, I will trust that the events in my life are not random. My experiences are not a mistake. The Universe, my Higher Power, and life are not picking on me. I am going through what I need to go through to learn something valuable, something that will prepare me for the joy and love I am seeking.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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August 27

The Power of Love

Love is the best motivation. When we are plugged in to our Higher Power, we are plugged in to love. It flows through us like a current, energizing our sluggish hearts and minds.

As we work the Steps of this program, we are given increased ability to love. By turning over our lives and our wills, we become receptive to the love which surrounds and sustains us. By taking inventory and being ready to have our character defects removed, we are able to get rid of old ways of thinking and acting which have been blocking out love.

We cannot produce love for others by ourselves, but we can receive it from our Higher Power. We can even receive love for people we don't particularly like.

Love gives energy for action and directs its course. May I grow in love.

You are reading from the book:

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

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August 28

Happiness is not a matter of events; it depends upon the tides of the mind.
--Alice Meynell

It's all too easy to blame a friend, spouse, or co-worker for the uneven quality of our lives. If only others would behave according to our plans and dictates, then all would go well, we think. What seldom is remembered or even understood is that each of us has an individual perspective on any single event - our own. We need to stretch our minds and hearts to understand an experience from another's point of view. However, we need never fully understand how another perceives life. We need only to accept that another's perspective is legitimate.

Our happiness is not dependent on the perceptions or the actions of someone else. Nor is it dependent on attention, or lack of it, from a loved one. Our occupation may be challenging and fulfilling; however, the joy we get from it depends on the attitude we carry to the job. In every way, whether in the company of others or by ourselves, we make our own happiness.

My opportunity for happiness is guaranteed if I opt for it today.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

[bluidkiti]

August 29

Don't be a Victim

Some people refer to us as victims of our problems, but we should not accept such labeling. A better term for us is survivors.

Working in step with our Higher Power, we should view ourselves as capable of rising above all the challenges and conditions that confront us. If we call ourselves victims, we'll soon be inviting more people and situations to victimize us. As survivors, however, we will always learn to sail through the roughest storms.

Looking at the general world situation, it does seem realistic to say that lots of people are victims. But we must always take into account the vast power that resides in every human soul. People have tremendous power to change their conditions, and when word of this finally gets around, we'll see a worldwide spiritual awakening that will change everything for the better.

Whatever I'm facing today, I'll know that the spirit within me also gives me the qualities I need to survive.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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August 30

Walk. Don't walk.
--Traffic Light

Signs direct us on our way in life. Traffic lights tell us to walk (or not), Golden Arches point us to dinner, geese flying south herald the coming winter, flashing neon tells us what to buy. We know how to read these signs of worlds and weather; they help to guide us on our journey.

We can learn to read the signs of human beings, too, to be detectives of the human spirit. Laugh lines around eyes and mouth, the texture of hands, tension in jaws and shoulders can tell much about a person, if we stop to look. All around us are signs that tell us others feel the pain and joy we feel, others need us as we need them, we are understood, and we are not alone.

The marvelous bonus in learning to read these signs in others is that we can begin to let ourselves be read, also.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous