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Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts This forum is for families and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking and/or drug abuse.

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Old 08-09-2018, 10:50 PM   #1
MajestyJo
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Default Asking for What We Need

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Asking for What We Need

Decide what it is you want and need, then go to the person you need it from and ask for it.

Sometimes, it takes hard work and much energy to get what we want and need. We have to go through the pains of identifying what we want, then struggle to believe that we deserve it. Then, we may have to experience the disappointment of asking someone, having the person refuse us, and figuring out what to do next.

Sometimes in life, getting what we want and need is not so difficult. Sometimes, all we need to do is ask.

We can go to another person, or our Higher Power, and ask for what we need.

But because of how difficult it can be, at times, to get what we want and need, we may get trapped in the mind set of believing it will always be that difficult. Sometimes, not wanting to go through the hassle, dreading the struggle, or out of fear, we may make getting what we want and need much more difficult than it needs to be.

We may get angry before we ask, deciding that we'll never get what we want, or anticipating the "fight" we'll have to endure. By the time we talk to someone about what we want, we may be so angry that we're demanding, not asking; thus our anger triggers a power play that didn't exist except in our mind.

Or we may get so worked up that we don't ask--or we waste far more energy than necessary fighting with ourselves, only to find out that the other person, or our Higher Power, is happy to give us what we want.

Sometimes, we have to fight and work and wait for what we want and need. Sometimes, we can get it just by asking or stating that this is what we want. Ask. If the ansWhen I do my meditation and prayer, I sdk got ehsy I need for my Higher Good.wer is no, or not what we want, then we can decide what to do next.

Today, I will not set up a difficult situation that doesn't exist with other people, or my Higher Power, about getting what I want and need. If there is something I need from someone, I will ask first, before I struggle.

Today I will take the time and quiet I need to find that place of peace and happiness within me. Whatever happens outside of me will never replace that which I can find within me wherever I am. --Ruth Fishel
When I do my meditation and prayer, I ask for what I need for my Higher Good, according to my God's Divine Will.

For many years I thought I didn't matter. My needs were always second nature to my partners. No wonder so many of my relationships didn't work. As the saying goes, if there is only one voice or thought in a room, there is abuse.
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Jo

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Old 12-02-2019, 05:54 PM   #2
MajestyJo
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Default Struggles with pain.

Quote:
Each Day a New Beginning

November 8

As in the physical world, so in the spiritual world, pain does not "last forever."
--Katherine Mansfield

Each of us struggles with pain and its repercussions; some of us more than others. At times pain seems unending. Sometimes we hang onto the pain in our lives, maybe because we fear even more what's on the other side. The unknown so easily controls us. Right at this moment, each of us can look back on other painful times and feel thankful for what they taught us. The puzzle pieces take on a deeper meaning when we enjoy the gift of perspective. The pain at this moment fits, too, in the bigger picture of our lives. And it will pass. It is passing.

The wisdom of the past tells us that pain enriches us, prepares us to better serve others. We come to know who we are and the specialness of our gifts through the despair that at times encumbers us. An old, wise saying, is, "We are never given more than we can handle."

My pain today is bringing me closer to the woman I'm meant to be. With each breath I'll remember that.
It is important that I remember that my disease is mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical. We may think it is a physical pain, but in truth it may go deeper than the surface or the obvious.

I have to practice the slogan H.A.L.T. on all areas of my recovery. Being spiritual unfit, can cause a lot of pain. Spiritual doesn't mean we have to get religious. In early recovery, I went to meetings and called my sponsor religiously.

Last night I was in pain for the 3rd day in a row. Came downstairs to find a solution. Down being to the 3rd Floor Internet Cafe a glorified name I have given a closed in table and two chairs where you can sit with your phone or your computer and get free WiFi.

Six hours sleep in 3 days not good, then I crash. The best solution is going on line and looking at old posts, I am always given a solution. Meditation helps me to maintain my sanity. I need to go to my God and ask for help to look at what I need to change to release the pain, I look at it as Step 10, or Step 3 would do too. I caan't, my God can, just for today, I choose to let Him.
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