How Important Is It?

[MajestyJo]

When I look at this slogan, I think of my sobriety. It has to come first. For so many years I put others before me and didn't know how to practice self-care and look after myself. Everything I needed was put aside to people please others.

When I look at the words, the message I get is that I am worthwhile, I am deserving of recovery. I can't sacrifice what is good for my health and well being, that includes not picking up substances outside of myself to make me feel better. i.e. food, relationships, work, pills, alcohol and cigarettes. I had to make my life 'sacred' and a safe place for me to live in. What is important to me? Sobriety (soundness of mind) and being whole and complete within myself.

For many years, I gave in to others, saved the peace, didn't rock the boat and ended up the victim and the martyr, roles I don't want to play in today. Game playing never got me to a healthy place. Manipulation and control only lead to resentment and low self-esteem and self-worth.

Relationship were not things I did well. I was never able to communicate with my partners as to what I needed in the relationships. Most times my partner tried to fit me into a role he thought I should be. I lost my identity and lived my life through others. That isn't acceptable to me in sobriety.

[MajestyJo]

A member of my group relapsed after six years of sobriety.

My first thought was she had no defence against that first drink. It seemed a very judgmental thought, yet I realized a lot of it was based on the knowingness that it could have been me.

I am powerless over people, places and things. I have no defence except a daily connection with my Higher Power which gives me the freedom of choice. If I was faced with similar circumstances, would I have done the same thing?

I would like to think not, yet this disease is cunning, baffling and powerful. I was not surprised, like most people in the room I think, but that is because with high emotions and some testing times myself, I know that I have had to do things for myself that I didn't see this woman doing. I called her twice in the last 10 days and didn't get a returned phone call. That is one of the biggest indicators that something is wrong unless she had gone away and there was no mention at the group.

The bottom line was that this woman was there for everyone else but didn't take time for herself, and didn't have her own network in place. I experienced something like this myself. No one seemed to be "there" when I needed them. It was like they expected me to be Ms. Indispensable and there for them and I believed it and thought that of myself. I allowed myself to forget my own humanness, and I am very glad that I didn't pick up myself. I am grateful that she did the research for me.

I am hoping she will call me. I told her to call me any time, day or night. People don't realize that often we need them, just as much as they need us.

Posted on another site Dec. 1, 2004

Had a friend call me tonight. She was hurting and I was glad that I was able to talk to her. I had several interruptions and I even had to call her back at one point. For me, it was about my God putting her in my life and that I needed to talk to her. It is hard to try to help someone who doesn't want to hear anything about recovery and the tools of the fellowships, and she doesn't want to here about God in any way shape or form.

I told her to look at her Higher Self and find out what she needed to do for herself. I am powerless over her, I can not change her, all I can do is share my experience, strength and hope and what worked for me and what is working for me in today.

It is important to share. It is important for my recovery, because often other people reflect the past or the present and brings new awareness to me. They are my God's messenger(s), and I need to pay attention. It isn't about them, it is about me and my recovery.

[MajestyJo]

“Don't Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.” - - Don Miguel Ruiz

So much of my life I was a drama queen and didn`t realize that I had a disease of perception. How I saw it was the only way. I use to say, `You should see it through my eyes, it sometimes get`s scary.`

ave used the slogan, but not so often in the context you have used, for me it was "Hesitate and Meditate." Stop and think before I react. Sometimes using the "How Important is it?" I found myself discounting myself and my needs. Sometimes you just need to stand up and be counted, other times it is much better to just let go and not worth the hassle and the controversy to argue or make your point.

How Important Is It? is something I use when I make a decision to do something or go somewhere. If going there jeopardizes my sobriety, is it in my best interest to go there. Sobriety meaning soundness of mind, not necessarily meaning that I will drink as a result of going there.

[MajestyJo]

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

You used to be good at being bad. Now you're going to get good a being good.

Still guilty of saying, "Since when have you known me to do what is always good for me?" When I hear myself saying that, I know it is time to pray and ask for an attitude adjustment.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I will stop and ask, 'How important is it?'

Some how I often see this differently than others. They can pooh who something away and say it isn't important, but when it comes to my sobriety, it is important. I need to address my attitude, my clarity of mind and purpose, my motive and intent, and when this "It" is intruding in my life, is it for good or bad, or is it just there and a part of my journey. Does it even concern me or is there a lesson to be learned. There is so much that we can discount in our life as not important, but whose idea is that, my idea, my disease or my God's concept.

This is where the saying ``Identify not compare`` comes into being. What is good for you and what is good for the whole. It isn`t about being selfish and self centered, but do we want to rock the boat, tip the scales, stir things up, make things a little off balance, put our two cents in, or do a just because because I can, give a little hint, give them a little push in the direction you think they should go, forgetting it is between them and their God and you aren`t it. Live and let live, live your own life and allow others to live theirs.