Links

Join

Forums

Find Help

Recovery Readings

Spiritual Meditations

Chat

Contact


Go Back   Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums > Lounge > Humor
Register FAQ Community Calendar Arcade Today's Posts Search Chat Room

Share This Forum!  
 
        

Humor "We Are Not A Glum Lot." Share Articles, Humor, Inspirations, Jokes, News, Poems, Quotes, Writings, etc. Here. Keep It Clean Please.

Post New ThreadReply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-31-2017, 07:44 AM   #1
bluidkiti
Administrator
 
bluidkiti's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 73,837
Default Things You Wouldn't Know Without The Movies

Things You Wouldn't Know Without The Movies

1. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

2. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

3. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

4. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

5. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

6. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

7. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.

8. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her.

9. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place -- no one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.

10. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

11. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

12. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. Plus, you can drive for at least 10 seconds without looking where you are going.

13. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

14. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts -- your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

15. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -- unless it's the door to a burning building.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
bluidkiti is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to bluidkiti For Sharing:
Sponsored Links
Post New ThreadReply  

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
First things first bluidkiti Daily Spiritual Meditations 0 01-26-2017 11:14 AM
With God, all things are possible bluidkiti Daily Spiritual Meditations 0 12-05-2015 10:22 AM
When Things Are Going Right bluidkiti Daily Spiritual Meditations 0 02-27-2015 01:14 PM
Some Things You Keep bluidkiti Inspirations, Poetry, Quotes, Thoughts, Etc 0 01-17-2015 06:05 AM
The Things We Think bluidkiti Daily Spiritual Meditations 1 12-03-2014 01:59 AM


Click here to make a Donation

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:31 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.