Self-Seeking

[MajestyJo]

From the book: The Language of Letting Go

True to Ourselves


This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou 'canst not then be false to any man.

—William Shakespeare


To thine own self be true. A grounding statement for those of us who get caught up in the storm of needs and feelings of others.

Listen to the self. What do we need? Are those needs getting met? What do we feel? What do we need to do to take care of our feelings? What are our feelings telling us about ourselves and the direction we need to go?

What do we want to do or say? What are our instincts telling us? Trust them - even if they don't make sense or meet other people's rules and expectations.

Sometimes, the demands of other people and our confused expectations of ourselves - the messages about our responsibilities toward others - can create a tremendous, complicated mess.

We can even convince ourselves that people pleasing, going against our nature and not being honest, is the kind, honest thing to do!

Not true. Simplify. Back to basics. Let go of the confusion. By honoring and respecting ourselves, we will be true to those around us, even if we displease them momentarily.

To thine own self be true. Simple words describing a powerful task that can put us back on track.

Today, I will honor, cherish, and love myself. When confused about what to do, I will be true to myself. I will break free of the hold others, and their expectations, have on me.

This reminds me that I am worthy of recovery. Because I couldn't find my own self-worth, I looked to what others said to me and acted toward me. I found out that, "This isn't who I am." I had to focus on being me and not being who I thought others wanted me to be. It was okay to be me. I didn't have to go outside of myself for validation, love, affirmation, acceptance, etc.

My disease is self-seeking. Recovery is seeking to take care of self. It makes for a big change in attitude.

[MajestyJo]

From: "Changing Beliefs"

Slowly and painfully, I became aware of myself. I began
to see it wasn’t true that I didn’t believe in anything.
Rather, I had believed in the wrong things:
I had believed I needed a drink for confidence.
I had believed I was unattractive.
I had believed I was unworthy.
I had believed no one loved me.
I had believed I never had a break.

Someone said at a closed meeting, “There is good in all
of us. Seek it out, nurture it, tend it, and it will flourish.”
So I began searching for the positives within me. I
realized that my feeling of inferiority was just one aspect
of ego, and the arrogance I projected was the other. I
must find the center median. So I tried to act as if:
AA was giving me confidence.
I had an attractive personality, even though I was not beautiful.
I was worthy, like all others.
I loved myself and could therefore love others.
Faith was freeing me from the fear that had always gripped me.

Came to Believe…, pages 103-104