Today's Thought - November

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November 1

Honesty is not enough

AA tells us that we must be honest about our problems if we hope to overcome them. Some people seem quite willing to do this. But an honest admission alone does not solve our problems. We have to go beyond honesty by taking needed action to correct what's wrong in our lives.

For example, we would not believe that anything had been corrected simply because a doctor diagnosed a physical problem. We know that such diagnosis is only a preliminary step that must lead to treatment to be effective. In the same way, an honest admission of our alcoholism does not lead to sobriety unless we take further action to address the problem.

We should also be careful about becoming prideful in announcing our shortcomings. If we are recovering from alcoholism but excuse a bad temper as one of our "alcoholic defects," are we attempting to correct our behavior? The more prideful we are about any fault, the more difficult it will be to change it.

Having become honest about my shortcomings, I'll look for opportunities today to make needed corrections in my behavior. If I find myself using my "alcoholic nature" as an excuse for unacceptable behavior, I'll take action to do something about it.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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November 2

. . . love grows by service.
--Charlotte Perkins Gilman

When we shower someone special with much needed attention, or maybe flowers, or run an errand for a friend, or volunteer to do a favor for an unnamed person, we benefit in many ways. We're appreciated; we feel good about our own behavior, and we've tightened the connection to another person that fosters personal human development.

Most of us long for more signs of love from one another. Yet we fail to understand that our own expression of love to that special someone will release the love we long to feel.

Love multiplies with frequency of expression, whether stranger-to-stranger, friend-to-friend, lover-to-lover, parent-to-child; and everyone is the beneficiary.

Love's expression spontaneously generates more of itself, thus promising each of us what we long for.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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November 3

Getting angry can sometimes be like leaping into a wonderfully responsive sports car, gunning the motor, taking off at high speed and then discovering the brakes are out of order.
--Maggie Scarf

Anger can multiply our difficulties in many situations. All of us can look back and remember times when we only made our problems worse because we stepped on the gas and lost all ability to use the brakes.

Now we are growing into more adulthood. We are learning to manage our feelings and use them well. This doesn't happen overnight. We would do well to recall how energized we have felt when we let our anger fly and how much we loved that energy at the moment. Only later did we face the damage we caused. Saying we are sorry isn't enough: we must also be willing to take on the harder task of changing our behavior. When we accept that we love the power and the energy of our anger and aggression, we can begin to rein it in and take charge of it rather than be ruled by it.

Today I will not indulge in the pleasure of anger allowed to run wild.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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November 4

Thought for the week: Learn a new skill

It's an esteemable act to have the courage to learn something new.

Affirmations for the week:

I am willing to learn a new skill. This week, I will do something I'm not yet good at.

Esteemable actions for the week

Have you ever avoided doing something because it was too hard or too scary? Have you ever not learned a new skill because you were afraid you'd make a mistake or just look silly? If you're like most of us, you've been there - done that. And like many people, you've missed out on a great deal of fun and opportunity because you were afraid to learn something new.

Think of things you're good at. Now remember the first time you did that activity. I bet you weren't very good. Actually, if you're like me, you had to try, try, and try again before you got into the swing of things. Am I right? Yet it was the conscious, consistent practice of that new skill that ultimately made you proficient and confident that you could do it. Think about how good you felt when you finally got it right.

No question about it, learning a new skill is hard, it's scary, and at times it's embarrassing. In the past, each time I tried something new and didn't get it the first time, I wanted to give up. It felt like the end of my world. But I didn't give up. There are even days when I know what I'm doing and still feel like I'm off the beam. And on those days, I just don't give up.

Today I know whatever I'm experiencing is part of my learning process, whether it's using my computer or speaking in front of an audience. My job is to remain teachable.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Esteemable Acts by Francine Ward

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November 5

When one door closes, fortune will usually open another.
-- Fernando De Rojas

Sometimes, especially in early recovery, we concentrate on our losses instead of our gains. We see a chapter in our life closing, and we mourn. We must leave some friends behind, or say good-bye to a social life we enjoyed. We must give up active addiction, which had become our best friend and only comfort. We may even have to leave our families, at least for a time, in order to concentrate on our own needs.

We need to grieve all these losses. Then we can see more clearly what recovery has brought us. For every loss, we've gained blessings. For every friend gone, we have the chance to make many more. A whole new sober life awaits us when we're ready to be part of it.

When we gave up the fake comforts of addiction, we found genuine comfort in sound sleep and healthy bodies, in peaceful days and serene nights. When we were ready to give up anger and resentment, we found generosity and forgiveness toward other people, and toward ourselves, too. In recovery, it's true, one door has closed. But another, better door has finally opened.

Today help me be grateful for my new life. Help me grieve my losses so I can appreciate all that awaits me.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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November 6

Humility is to make a right estimate of oneself.
- Charles Haddon Spurgeon

What does it take to come to the place where we can exchange pride for humility? First we must stop the blasphemous charade of pretending that we are no good. "I'm worthless" has often been spoken in the name of humility. But these words, or any other words that express the same sentiment, are a self-indulgence and a cop-out.

The essence of humility is summed up in the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Humility is truth. To be humble is to know the truth about our limits, to recognize what can be changed, and to accept that all good things are possible with the help of our Higher Power.

Excessive pride prohibits acceptance because it prohibits the truth, and the truth is that some things are unchangeable. Refusal to accept that truth gets us plenty of frustrations and anger - and no humility at all.

Today, I humbly ask God for the wisdom to accept what is and to let go of what isn't.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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November 7

Promises that you make to yourself are often like the Japanese plum tree - they bear no fruit.
--Frances Marion

The resolve to fulfill commitments we make to ourselves and others may be lacking until we learn to rely on the wisdom and strength offered by our higher power--strength that will make us confident in any situation; wisdom that will insure our right actions. What is difficult alone is always eased in partnership.

We promise ourselves changed behavior, new habits, perhaps, or a positive attitude. But then we proceed to focus on our liabilities, giving them even more power, a greater hold over us. We can practice our assets, and they'll foster the promises we want to keep.

No longer need we shame ourselves about unfulfilled promises. Whatever our desires, whatever our commitments, if for the good of others and ourselves, they will come to fruition. We can ask for direction. We can ask for resolve, and each worthy hope and unrealized promise will become reality.

My assets, when strengthened through use, pave the way for God's help. Any promise can bear fruit when I make it in partnership with God.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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November 8

Accepting those things we cannot change frees us.

It's so easy to get caught up in other people's lives. Assuming that we know what's best for them seems so natural. Many of us have excelled at being caretakers, but it's time to back off and let our loved ones fend for themselves. That means letting them make their own decisions and live with their own consequences.

We can't change other people. Certainly we have made others feel guilty enough so that they have given in and done things our way. And we have won many power struggles. But ultimately we can't claim ownership of anyone else's mind, and we aren't the stewards of anyone else's life. We may feel diminished by our lack of control initially, but in time we will love the freedom of living only our own lives. The extra time we'll have and the peace we'll know will comfort us.

I will experience many moments of relief and peace when I let others be their own stewards.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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November 9

If we see only ourselves, it's a very lonely world.

We can learn the difference between taking care of ourselves positively and being so negatively self-centered that we are forced into solitary confinement, where we dry up for lack of genuine interchange.

We should know who we are. But we should also know who our neighbor is, and our friend, sister, boss, or child. To know other people and see beneath the exterior they present, we need to be comfortable enough with ourselves so we can relax and look and listen. We also need to be humble enough to realize we can learn from someone else and benefit from the gifts she or he brings to the relationship.

With recovery comes new empathy and sensitivity. As self-will loosens its grip, we are open to the intuitive knowledge that enhances our interactions with those around us. Since our vision is less clouded by the problems of addiction, we can see others more clearly and understand them better. Recovery offers us a way out of loneliness into companionship and community.

I will use my empathy to deepen my understanding of those who cross my path today.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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November 10

The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
--Eden Phillpotts

We hear others talk about how they got out of debt. We see people who have peace and serenity in their lives, who have healthy relationships and dream jobs. We realize that being debt-free means more than not having to pay as many bills. In others, we see what we have to look forward to by changing our behaviors. We get inspired and excited to be debt-free. We start working the program diligently, expecting to see miracles in our lives any minute but nothing happens.

We stop focusing on the outcome of our new ways and stay mindful of what we've committed to - no debting one day at a time. When we do this, we give energy to everything good. If we stop focusing on it, it will flow to us.

Today I will trust that when I act in a mindful and honorable way, everything good will follow.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

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November 11

People have always wanted to talk to me about their problems. I guess I'm a good listener. Maybe I have something to contribute after all.
--Joann Reed

No one is without value in this life. Maybe we haven't discovered our unique purpose or special gifts, but we each have a place in the universe or we wouldn't be here.

Each of us can offer friends a valuable gift every day - we can listen. Messages from our Higher Power often come through the words of others. We perform a wonderful service for our companions by listening and by sharing our own experience and advice.

Rapt attention - giving it and receiving it - is perhaps the most valuable contribution any of us can make. Let's never underestimate the sacredness of listening.

I will keep my own mind quiet if a friend wants to share concerns today. That way, my heart may be able to offer wisdom.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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November 12

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.
--Abigail Van Buren

How did we get so convinced that our way is usually best? That surely didn't come from a lifetime of constant success. How did we get fixed in our thinking on a given issue? Not from a track record of first exploring all other alternatives.

This rigidity probably helped us survive childhood. But now it's a wall that isolates us. It closes our minds off from ideas that are more in keeping with where we want to be. And it closes us off from people whom we would like to be with.

In recovery, we are noticing others who are not so fixed in their thinking. They don't pass judgment or criticize quickly. Their tranquility is obvious, and we want more of it. Their openness lets them hear more from others, and that is the way to knowledge, change, and growth.

We find that listening to others is now a blessing, not a burden.

Today help me be open to the example of others.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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November 13

Life is not always what one wants it to be, but to make the best of it as it is, is the only way of being happy.
--Jennie Jerome Churchill

We are generally so certain that we know what's best for ourselves. And we are just as often certain that what we think is best will guarantee happiness. Perhaps we should reflect on all the times in the past when our wishes didn't come true - fortunately.

Did any one of us expect to be doing today, what we each are doing? We may have expected children, a particular kind of home, a certain career, but did we really anticipate all that life has wrought? Addiction, and then recovery from it, was probably not in our pictures. But it does fit into the big picture. The happiness we experience today probably doesn't visit us in the way we anticipated a few years back. But it is measured out according to our needs. The choice to be happy with what is, is ours to make, every moment.

I can take life as it is, and trust that it is just right, just what it needs to be. The big picture guarantees me lasting happiness. Today's experiences will move me a step closer.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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November 14

Each morning sees some task begin,
Each evening sees it close;
Something attempted, something done,
Has earned a night's repose.
--Longfellow

Every day for us is a period of spiritual growth. Restful sleep prepares us for fruitful days. As each day begins, a new adventure in growth lies ahead. We seek strength and an attitude of making our lives more meaningful and positive through prayer and meditation at the start of each new day during our quiet time. We prepare ourselves emotionally for the busy hours ahead.

With positive action planned ahead, we arise to a day dedicated to accomplishment. We know we have little time for standing and idly staring. We accept new challenges as we carry out each day's plans. We encourage those around us to join us in seeking to see the best in everything that makes up our daily lives.

Restful sleep, meditation, planning, and "turning it over" starts my day with a quiet time and keeps it manageable.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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November 15

We find that as we become more centered within the Higher Power part of us, our ego becomes less real, less threatening, less compelling.
--Jerry Hirshfield

It's a struggle at times for us to remember that our Higher Power never moves away. God is as close as our breath, awaiting our invitation to take charge. Frequently this strikes us as new information. But each time a friend or a particular reading triggers our recall, we relax, because we know that God is taking over. Once again we trust that all is well.

It's our ego that fights giving up control during the early stages of many of our troubling experiences. We are frustrated again and again as we try to force what we think is the best solution; again and again, in the end, after we've finally given up the struggle, God smoothes the path.

This program guarantees us a smooth trip every step of the way. All we have to do is give up control to God who is always waiting for us to turn our attention from our problems to God's presence.

I will feel peace and joy throughout today because I'll remember my Higher Power's presence.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey