Today's Thought - November

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November 16

Acceptance

When we have given our lives back to our Higher Power, we gradually learn to accept what happens to us as part of the plan. Most of us made a mess of trying to run our own lives. We are amazed at how much better things go when we acknowledge that the Power greater than ourselves is in control.

Every experience, the bad one as well as the good one, becomes an opportunity to learn and to serve. We may not like what it is that we are given to do or to feel on a particular day, but we learn to accept it as necessary for our growth. We can look back and see that we have learned even more from our failures than from our successes.

When we accept our lives and ourselves as part of God's creation, we are open to the work of God's spirit and love. Then positive change and growth become possible.

Teach me to accept Your will.

You are reading from the book:

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

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November 17

We're not here to lose our sense of humor.
--Richie Berlin

Being too serious is habit forming. However, many aspects of our lives are serious and need to be addressed. Our disease, for one, is very serious. Working the Twelve Step program to the best of our ability is serious too. So are being honest and loving with friends, taking responsibility for all of our behavior, and being willing to change. But we can get in the habit of being too serious in many areas of our lives where a lighter touch is called for.

Cultivating laughter, so it too can become habit forming, benefits us immeasurably; however, this may not be easy. Our family of origin taught us that some things were funny and other things weren't. If we were laughed at rather than encouraged to see the humor in situations affecting us, we may find it hard to be comfortable with anyone's laughter. But we can work on this. We can begin by spending time with people who laugh and see the humor in situations that affect them. Our families were our earliest teachers; we can pick some new teachers now.

The more often I laugh today, the lighter my spirit will feel and the healthier my emotional life will become.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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November 18

Birds sing after a storm. Why shouldn't we?
--Rose Kennedy

Some of us have been through an awful lot. We have endured pain and hopelessness. Now we have some choices to make. We can allow our pasts to make us feel bad about ourselves or we can sing after the storm. We can feel proud that we are not giving up, we are not willing to be destroyed.

The past won't change, and the bad things won't magically go away. But we can learn to move forward.

We can put the past where it belongs, close enough so we'll never forget, and far enough away so we don't give it all of our attention. The sun doesn't just make rainbows for other people; they're for us too.

Today let me tell myself that it's okay to feel good about myself.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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November 19

Behind an able man there are always other able men.
--Chinese proverb

Most of us have had a strong desire in our lives to "do it ourselves." We have had the idea that strength and independence meant we should not rely on or receive help from others. Now, in recovery, we are learning a far more mature and time-honored principle. We find strength to develop to our fullest as members of a community. Maybe we never learned how to ask for help. Perhaps we haven't learned yet how to accept it. It may still be difficult to express our gratitude for the help that brought us where we are today.

In recovery, we get many lessons about these things. If we are actively growing, we will get help from others and give it too. The rewards of recovery give us ample reasons and opportunities to express our gratitude. We are no longer loners. Now we have a network of friends who truly enjoy and enhance each other's strength.

Today, I pray for help in learning how to share my strength and to appreciate the strength of others.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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November 20

Going Easy

Go easy. You may have to push forward, but you don't have to push so hard. Go in gentleness, go in peace.

Do not be in so much of a hurry. At no day, no hour, no time are you required to do more than you can do in peace. Frantic behaviors and urgency are not the foundation for our new way of life.

Do not be in too much of a hurry to begin. Begin, but do not force the beginning if it is not time. Beginnings will arrive soon enough.

Enjoy and relish middles, the heart of the matter.

Do not be in too much of a hurry to finish. You may be almost done, but enjoy the final moments. Give yourself fully to those moments so that you may give and get all there is.

Let the pace flow naturally. Move forward. Start. Keep moving forward. Do it gently, though. Do it in peace. Cherish each moment.

Today, God, help me focus on a peaceful pace rather than a harried one. I will keep moving forward gently, not frantically. Help me let go of my need to be anxious, upset, and harried. Help me replace it with a need to be at peace and in harmony.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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November 21

Love involves a willingness to suffer and to be inconvenienced.
--Lewis F. Presnall

The act of loving another broadens our understanding of the human condition and often pinches our egos. Indeed, one of the greatest gifts, though not necessarily cherished, which is granted through loving another, is that we gain humility and thus healthier, smaller egos.

How often do we say the words, "I love you," and yet resent being detained by our loved ones? How frequently do we expect to get our own way when resolving a conflict? Is the silent treatment a manipulative ploy we commonly rely on when problem solving with a spouse or lover?

Love wears many faces and it means not always getting our own way, or never doubting the other's sincerity. We aren't guaranteed happiness forever after, even when we know we're loved. But what giving and receiving love does promise us is growth, periods of peacefulness, some poignantly painful times, and many chances to demonstrate that another's well being is a priority, which in turn assures us of our own well being.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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November 22

The program has given me the best days I've ever had. But thinking about all that lost time can still bring me down.
--Jane S.

Telling the difference between yesterday, today, and tomorrow may be easy for most people, but it isn't for many of us. Our past tends to overshadow both the present and the future. Until we learn to draw a line between then and now, the gloom of "what was" expands and spreads like noxious smoke or a sickening odor. "What can be" is blotted out.

Where does yesterday end and today begin? For us, that may be the central recovery issue. Our battle is one of boundaries.

No matter how spoiled the past may have been, our future is spotless. If, in our minds, we say good-bye to the past, we can begin writing a new story and painting a new picture.

Every day is new - fresh and shimmering with possibilities. The future is a long string of such days. As our perception of time corrects itself, as we learn to accept the past and look forward to the future, we can focus on today and live it well.

Today, I will see the bad days of the past as rotten apples. I will throw them out of my barrel to protect my new days.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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November 23

There is no total answer.

Studying and reading are traditional methods of spiritual growth. With a lifelong routine of study each day, a person or couple grows under the guidance of the sages. Civilization exists because each generation builds upon the progress of the past. We do not have to reinvent the wheel.

After we learn from those who have gone before, we may even discover and create beyond the point where they left off. But if we are in a willful, defiant mood, we may say, "I have to find my own way. I don't feel like learning from anyone." Our individualism then becomes a half-truth, silently trapping us in problems that others have found answers to.

There is no total answer - no total freedom - only continued growth. Daily reading, openness to learn from others' encounters with life, and study of how they faced their most challenging spiritual questions will bring us progress.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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November 24

Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.
--Oscar Wilde

The mature person eventually forgives his parents. Any adult can look back and see childhood wrongs and unfairness. Many of us were disappointed by our parents, even neglected or hurt by them. We certainly didn't get all we wanted or needed. Yet, upon joining the ranks of adults, we become responsible for ourselves. Every situation has limited choices, and we work with what we've got. As adults, we realize this is exactly where our parents were when we were children. They, too, were born into an imperfect world and had to do the best they could.

When we can forgive our parents, we are free to accept them as they are, as we might a friend. We can accept them, enjoy the relationship, and forget about collecting old debts. Making peace with them imparts to us the strengths of previous generations and helps us be more at peace with ourselves.

I pray for the maturity and the wisdom to be more forgiving of my parents.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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November 25

I always have two lists: things I'm happy about and things I'm not. It's my choice which list I focus on.
--Anne Arthur

Why do we all too eagerly see the glass as half empty rather than as half full? It need not be a habit that we are stuck with forever. All of us feel helpless at times to change our vision of life. Discouragement and self-pity become comfortable, and we fear that discarding them will leave us vulnerable.

Seeing the glass as half empty is a sign that our attitude is holding us back. Unfortunately, a bad attitude is seductive. It's as though we find pleasure, perverse though it may be, in feeling sorry for ourselves. Sometimes we even imagine staying in that place forever. It's then that we need the warmth of loving friends, and it's no accident that we are surrounded by them in this fellowship.

We may, at first, try to ignore those reaching toward us, but we will soon feel their presence. We can thank God for the inspiration to adjust our attitude.

If I reach out lovingly to someone else today, I will not need a nudge from my Higher Power to adjust my attitude.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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November 26

You start preparing when you're thirty for the person you'll be at eighty.
--Janice Clark

We can't get away from ourselves, at least not entirely. Who we were at ten and twenty and forty and fifty remain as threads in our tapestries. Many of us shudder because some details of our personal panorama weren't so very pretty. But that's the way life is. We are what we are. And yet, we have examples of favorable changes, too. How we were never kept us from becoming who we wanted to be. This truth continues to reign in our lives.

We all know women and men who continue to be enthused about even the tiny happenings in the passing of a day. A bird's flight from the porch to a nearby tree to feed its young, the laughter of children passing the house on their way home from school, the family reunions, large or small, bring smiles and memories that comfort. Probably we envy those folks, unless we happen to be them already. In either case, imitating others or serving as their role models helps to strengthen our positive responses to life's details. No matter how old we are, there is still joy to be felt. And there is still time to change and grow.

There is no rule that says I have to be and think and act the same way my whole life. Today is a clean slate. I can be who I want to be.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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November 27

Count Your Blessings

Count your many blessings, name them one by one,

Count your many blessings, see what God has done!

--from “Count Your Blessings” by Johnson Oatman Jr.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

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November 28

To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.
--Mother Teresa

Our spiritual nature must be nurtured. Prayer and meditation lovingly kindle the flame that guides us from within. Because we're human, we often let the flame flicker and perhaps go out. And then we sense the dreaded aloneness. Fortunately, some time away, perhaps even a few moments in quiet communion with God, rekindles the flame.

For most of us, the flame burned low, or not at all, for many years. The flickering we may feel today, or tomorrow, or felt yesterday, will not last, so we may put away our fears. We can listen to the voice of our higher power in others. We can listen, too, as we carry the message. Prayer surrounds us every moment. We can fuel our inner flame with the messages received from others. We can let our spirit spring forth; let it warm our hearts and the hearts of others.

We each have a friend whose flame may be flickering today. I will help my friend and thus myself. A steady flame can rekindle one that's flickering.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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November 29

Fill up your life.

One of the good things about the blues is their power to make me feel better. No matter how bad it gets in my little world, I can be pretty sure that B.B. King, John Lee Hooker, or Stevie Ray Vaughn has seen worse. Sometimes, it just feels good to vocalize all those bad feelings.

Bad things happen in life. Sometimes they are small annoyances; sometimes they are the major grief mongers. What matters is not what happens to us, but how we react to it. He left you. That is a fact. Now after you get done with the quart of rocky road that you are drowning your sorrows in, what are you going to do about it? You can sit around and complain to your friends about how unfair life is, or you can get up, put the empty bowl in the dishwasher, and go fill up your life.

Feelings are one of the blessings of being human. All of them. Sometimes we feel good; sometimes we feel bad. Take some time. Take some energy and be upset. Be aware of the feeling of being upset. But then get up, go out, and make positive use of your life.

God, help me put to positive use all of the feelings in my life.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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November 30

An inspiring book, a caring friend, a moment of silence - all can offer the guidance we seek.

We are learning to seek guidance on how to handle the serious circumstances of our lives. We used to feel we had to figure out everything for ourselves. What a gift it is to seek suggestions from friends we can trust. And hearing others tell how a line in a book gave them a needed answer has become a valuable tool too.

Relying on the silence for our answers, we are less certain at first. We can't always tell if it's our ego directing us rather than our Higher Power. The important thing is that we are looking for help. We are no longer blocked by our need to be self-reliant in all matters.

Guidance is always available. We simply have to know where to look and be willing to hear.

I will look at my problems today as opportunities for intimacy with other people. Problems will free me from isolation.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey