Acceptance

[MajestyJo]

"Learn the art of acceptance. It's a lot of grief."

Codependent No More


Everytime there is change in my life, I need to accept that there is a grieving process that goes with it.

Whether it is a change in a relationship with a loved one, a boss, a group of people, a boundary, a habit, it all adds up to finding acceptance of where I am at, and when I can come to that place, then I can take action to bring about the change I need to make.

Change is never easy. It generally comes from a comfort zone that we don't want to let go of.

It has been my experience in recent relationships that I have become aware of abuse and have had to detach from the person, place or thing. I do not accept abuse today. Before in my life I thought it was just a part of life. Whether it is a control issues, isolation from others, verbal and mental abuse, I needed to accept the fact that I was worthwhile and not deserving of such treatment.

Acceptance of what is in the moment, allows me to just be, and connects me to my HP, and I am able to move forward as my life unfolds. I become aware of what is, and what comes into my life so I can live a much more healthier, spiritual, and happier life.

Posted by me in 2007 on another site

It is so difficult to practice acceptance when it comes to my son and his disease. I don't question he has it and his actions, he is a mirror of my old behaviour(s). I have trouble accepting his decision not to do anything about it and the fact he keeps going back into active addiction after being in treatment 5 times. It just shows you can go through the motions and know what to do, but not willing to accept and apply it to his life.

Acceptance is the key to all of my problems in today, especially if there are roots still embedded in my past and I am not willing to address the issues.

I need acceptance because it is part of the growth process to move forward and to grow.

The Five As: Awareness, Admittance, Acceptance, Attitude and Action.

I not only have to accept my disease on all levels (mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical), I have to learn to accept myself in today, knowing that all people, places, and things are subject to change.

[MajestyJo]

Found out today, that I didn't have as much acceptance as I thought I had. I guess I was paying lip service, saying it, but deep down, not really having total accepting.

Was hanging on by worrying and not letting go. You can't let go and worry too, that is not accepting and it certainly isn't faith and trust. It sure isn't the spiritual walk that I choose to walk in recovery.

It took some prayer and meditation time, not asking but accepting.

[MajestyJo]

When one door closes, another door opens. It's waiting in the hallway that's hell. I am not a slow learner. I am just, sometimes, a slow accepter.

Pocket Sponsor - Book


This really speaks volumes to me. I am aware, that another door opens, sometimes a window and to my way of thinking, it can be a tunnel, an underground passage, whatever it is, it is available if I choose to take it.

I too am not a slow learner but I need to learn to slow things down and give somethings more time to process before I react. I am better than I was, but something that God and I still need to work on. It is a daily thing, some days are better than others.

And as they say, acceptance is the key. Most times for me to find acceptance, it is a process. I quite often have to knaw on it a little bit, before I can come to a decision. Quite often I have to deliberate and ask, "Is this one yours God or mine?" Sometimes I even ask Him to rethink His answer or change His mind and have even been known to try to prove Him wrong.

I know He knows best, yet I firmly believe He leads and guides me. If I am doing His will, how come I got to where I did and then I have to give it some more thought. Generally, it is that I got side tracked, took a wrong turn, misunderstood, or someone else got in the way, and I allowed it and gave up my own power. When that happens, I have to accept my own failings, and surrender and turn them back over to Him again.

When I just accept what is, in the moment, life doesn't get any better than that.

Have looked up just about every article I have posted on acceptance tonight. I think a lot of my stress has been lack of acceptance with what has been going on with my landlord, a lot of promises, but piss poor results if there is any action done. I guess those words show there is also a little bit of anger than needs to be let go of too. Finally I told the head honcho that if things didn't get done, I was going to contact Health Care. More will be revealed, and each day will be a process of accepting what is in the moment. Very much, one day at a time. There is no other way, so why try? Duh!

[MajestyJo]

One of the spiritual principles of Step One.

I had to learn to accept the fact that my son had inherited the disease of alcoholism. I am not sure if it is inherited or just the fact that we are often products of our environment. Perhaps a little bit of both, it really doesn't matter how you get it, it is acceptance of the fact that you have it.

I also had to accept my own disease, my caretaking and the need to live my life through other people. I was a Ms. Fix-It, who suffered from her own control, denial, dishonesty, etc. It was always easier to play the blame game, certainly much better than the shame game because I couldn't accept the fact that I didn't have the power to handle life on life's terms, that I found my self-worth through other people because I couldn't find it within myself, and that I had failed to take care of my son and that as a parent I had failed, not knowing that you can't pass on what you don't know.

Acceptance is the key to all of my problems today, when ....

2004

[MajestyJo]

It is so difficult to practice acceptance when it comes to my son and his disease. I don't question he has it and his actions, he is a mirror of my old behaviour. I have trouble accepting his decision not to do anything about it and the fact he keeps going back into an abusive relationship.

Trying to accept his choices are difficult. He told me the other day he is better when he is with her than without her, and I know that they love each other as much as they are capable of loving while in active addiction.

I have to accept that the words and the actions are the disease speaking instead of my son. It is difficult.

Thanks for letting me share.

Posted on another site in 2005

Thank God for this program. Thank God it is one day at a time. Not so easy to do as he grow in his addiction and I grow old!

[MajestyJo]

Acceptance is one of the spiritual principles of Step One. I was told that I had to do the first half of this step 100%, and I was warned that the second half was conditional to my spiritual connection, one day at a time.

When I accepted my disease, surrendered my day to my Higher Power, got honest with me, then my life would be manageable. If I didn't have these spiritual principles, and tried to manage my own life, then it certainly would become unmanageable, and would stay so until such a time, as I could find the honest, surrender and acceptance I need to bring myself back to my center and connected to the God of my understanding.

Had this thought in 2004 and ten years later, it is still applicable I today. This is why I love this program, it is one day at a time program. God is as He reveals Himself to me I today. The program is applicable as it unfolds in today.

[MajestyJo]

Know that acceptance is the key, the last week has been a struggle to find it on occasion.

Know it is the answer, and know it is the key, and yet I felt like if I accept what is, I am giving up my power to another person and my space, and not willing to giving up my boundaries. I had to reset them, set some ground rules, make people aware that they were there and that there are consequences to their actions. My new favourite saying is, "Don't give up, give over."

Talked to my friend today, hadn't heard from her in a while. I called and said, "Are you in the land of the living?" She said, "I haven't heard from you and wondered why." I said, "Well I called and got a do not disturbed response from your husband and I left a message and didn't get a call back, so I figured you were on a time out." I just accepted where she was at and figured she would call me when she was ready. I got the thought to call her three day in a row, so I picked up the phone. She sounded much better. I had to accept where she was at.

Acceptance is the key to all my problems in today. Whether it be with me or with someone else. It helps me to not take on other people's stuff.

[MajestyJo]

Acceptance is a big thing in many areas of my life. Accepting my dis-ease, myself in the moment, my family and friends for where they are at in the moment in their own olife, and accepting that God doesn't think the way I do.

Accepting that "It is a good thing He doesn't!" Instead of defying God and changing my won't power into willingness, I surrender each day into His care. The day is much better when I start it with the Serenity Prayer. I defied God for many years, with don't tell me, "Watch me!"

I am glad I don't have to live that way anymore. I can't disobey and shut Him out and have faith and trust too.

Acceptance doesn't mean I have to like it. If I become defiant and not accept things as they are, then I need to accept the pain that goes along with that choice.

The best thing for me to remember is that life changes, and I am no longer 'with it' and don't have an honest desire to be out there and be that swingin' chick and party girl. The nice thing is, that in today, I have the acceptance.

For many years I felt like I had to justify my existence and reason for being. Today, it is okay to just be.

When I don't have acceptance, I can't change. When I justify, I stay stuck and act out in old behavior.

JADE = do not justify, argue, defend or explain just accept the situation and get on with your life.

Lildee