More Recovery Readings - May

[bluidkiti]

May 1

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Hold fast to dreams For if dreams die, Life is a broken-winged bird That cannot fly. --Langston Hughes
Watching birds spread their wings and soar can remind us of the best in ourselves. In joyful moments we all feel our own desire to fly, to reach toward what we dream of doing.
Our dreams give us a direction to fly. Birds fly toward the light for joy, toward green leaves for shelter, to water and berries for food. In the same way, our dreams direct us to the course of our own joy, shelter, and nourishment.
Sometimes as we fly, we bump into disappointments. They may temporarily stun us or slow us down. But just like birds that are occasionally wounded, we can heal ourselves and fly again. We can choose to not let the hardships of life break our spirited wings. Rather, we can keep spreading our wings, soaring in the spirit of joy.
Am I flying today, or must I heal a wound first?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Gardening is an active participation in the deepest mysteries of the universe. --Thomas Berry
We grow in our spirituality by participating in activities that convey a sense of awe and mystery. Tending growing plants does this for some of us. Playing and listening to music, appreciating and creating art and literature do it for others. Hiking in the wilderness, camping, fishing, hunting, or photography have the same value. Membership in a religious group and attending services are other important ways. Engaging in the loving feelings in relationships does this for many of us.
As men in recovery, we need active ways to move beyond the boundaries of our own skins. We need to know we are part of a larger whole which has mysteries we cannot fully solve. When we identify our own ways of being spiritual, we can give them more respect. Perhaps we can also explore some other ways we have not developed.
Today, I will participate in the mysteries and beauties of life.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Insight is cheap. --Martha Roth
For years we kept ourselves in a split condition: With one part of our minds we looked at ourselves and said, "I do some self-destructive things because I don't believe I deserve love." When we became involved with unsuitable people or abused our bodies, we said, "I am punishing myself--I am expecting too much--I neglect my own needs."
We may see clearly how and why we get in our own way. But unless we have faith in a power greater than ourselves, we won't step aside. We won't let go. We'll do the same thing and "understand" ourselves in the same ways. We may even use our "insight" to keep ourselves stuck--to protect ourselves from the risk of change.
Now, having had a spiritual awakening, having come to believe that a higher power can restore us, we possess a gift more powerful than the keenest insight--faith in our ability to grow and change. We are children of God. All the creative power of the universe streams through us, if we don't block it.
Today, I will have faith, and all will be well.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Recovery Prayer
This prayer is based on a section of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:
Thank you for keeping me straight yesterday. Please help me stay straight today.
For the next twenty-four hours, I pray for knowledge of Your will for me only, and the power to carry that through.
Please free my thinking of self-will, self-seeking, dishonesty, and wrong motives.
Send me the right thought, word, or action. Show me what my next step should be. In times of doubt and indecision, please send Your inspiration and guidance.
I ask that You might help me work through all my problems, to Your glory and honor.
This prayer is a recovery prayer. It can take us through any situation. In the days ahead, we'll explore the ideas in it. If we pray this prayer, we can trust it has been answered with a yes.
Today, I will trust that God will do for me what I cannot do for myself. I will do my part - working the Twelve Steps and letting God do the rest.


I am letting go of all self-criticism today and changing all my judging thoughts to thoughts of love. I am becoming softer and more gentle and accepting of myself, making more space to feel joy and love. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart – May

Learn to Release Old Toxins

Just as splinters can get embedded in our body, old emotions and beliefs can act like toxins and become embedded in us,too. We may have picked up residue along the way– beliefs we didn’t consciously choose, feelings we weren’t safe enough to feel, toxins from the world around us.

Now is a time of cleansing. Now is the time to heal your body and emotions, your mind and soul.

What beliefs and emotions do you need to heal? Look around at your life right now. What are you thinking? What are you talking about? What issues are cropping up in your life? Who are you talking about? What are you remembering? Who has come back into your life? What hurts? Is the feeling familiar? When have you felt it before?

Once you’ve identified what you’re feeling and thinking, release it. Let the energy go. Let it leave your body. You can chatter all you want about what’s going on with you, but that doesn’t release the energy from your system anymore than talking about a splinter takes it out. Sometimes the process will sting just a bit when you pull out the splinter. But don’t worry. It won’t hurt for long. And soon you’ll feel better that you’ve felt in a long while.

Often the process of releasing old toxins can be as gentle and natural as the way a flower or tree grows with sunshine and rain, a bit of fertile soil, and a little pruning and weeding.

Growth can be gentle now. Growth can be fun. Breathe in new air. Breathe in new energy. Exhale the past, its feelings, beliefs, and toxins. Let it go. Let yourself be transformed.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Learn to say when

Chip turned the rented four-wheel drive Chevy Blazer off the road and into an open field. The three of us, Chip, Andy, and myself, were in Florida on a spur-of-the-moment road trip. We had met Andy at the dop zone, where he’d been trying out for a skydiving team. Now the three of us were on our way to Orlando. It had rained the day before. We started to tear through the field, when the right wheels slipped into a ditch.

Chip rocked the truck, backward and forward. The right wheels sunk deeper. Andy hopped out of the truck, looked around, and then climbed back in. “We’re stuck,” he said.

“I’ve got my cell phone,” I said. “I’ll call for help….”

Chip and Andy stared at me.

“You said you wanted an adventure,” Chip said. “Well, this is it.”

We all got out of the Blazer. The right wheels were entrenched in a ravine, and a large log was jammed into the underside of the vehicle. Andy had a plan. We’d each go try to find boards or wood that could be placed under the wheels. We returned twenty minutes later. The guys popped the wood under the tires. Chip got in the truck. The engine revved. The wheels spun. Mud sprayed. The truck didn’t move.

“I could call a tow truck,” I offered again.

About one-quarter mile away from the field was an intersection that promised, at least eventually, some passersby. We tromped to the intersection and waited. Before long, we flagged down an old Cadillac with a man and a young woman in it.

The man promised to return in a few minutes with his truck and his brother.

About fifteen minutes later, the two men and the woman appeared in a truck. They hooked a chain to the Blazer. Then they got in their truck and drove slowly away. They revved their engine. Mud sprayed. Then snap, the chain broke.

We looked at their truck. We looked at the stuck, muddy Blazer. We looked at the broken chain.

“Sorry,” the two men said.

“Thanks for trying,” we said. “Try calling a towing place,” the taller of the two men said. “They’ll come and get you out.”

Andy, Chip, and I got back into the stuck truck.

“Well,” I said. “Are you ready to call a tow truck now?”

The truck arrived. The professional tower had us out in fifteen minutes, and we were on our way to Orlando. We had been stuck for more than six hours. The entire time, we all knew what we had to do to get out: call the tow truck. For a variety of reasons, we didn’t want to do that until we got tired of being stuck.

Sometimes, getting stuck is the adventure at hand. We might not know what to do to move forward. Or we may be enjoying the drama of being stuck. We may be stuck at a plateau in our career. We may be stuck in our spiritual growth. We may have at one time liked and wanted to be where we’ve found ourselves, but now it’s time to move on.

Learning to say when– whether it’s when we want something more, or something else, or when we’ve had enough– is an important part of using in the language of letting go.

God, help me remember that I have the power to say when.

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In God’s Care

Loving can cost a lot, not loving always costs more.
~~Merle Shain

We are invited to choose and express loving thoughts throughout every day. This often means surrendering our opinions or desires for the moment. It means, quite frequently, honoring another’s needs above our own. In this way it costs us. And yet, giving up the struggle for the winning opinion or relinquishing our desire to control plans brings rewards. We will feel peaceful with surrender. We will know that God has entered our consciousness.

If we never surrender, if we never give in to love, we are kept distant from our true selves and the people we yearn to be close to. Our loneliness in the midst of our friends will bring much more pain than the momentary pinch of surrender – a pinch that in reality promises peace.

I will choose surrender over control, love over self-satisfaction with my friends today.

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The Day’s Closing
Evenings

by Madisyn Taylor

Evening time is often overlooked in our busy lives, but is an important time of day for reflection on our day's actions.


>From the beginning of time, a richly colored twinge of dusk touching the eastern horizon, the lengthening of shadows, and the appearance of the evening’s first star have let us know that it was time to rest, relax, and retire from the pressures of the day. For human beings and other living things that tend to be most active in daylight, evenings can be less hectic and more relaxing, as we prepare for sleep and spend quality time with our loved ones. But evenings are about much more than dinner and the feel of a cool, soft pillow. Evenings are a wonderful time to catalog the events of the day without distraction, to revel in gentle solitude or silence, to end the day in serenity, and to commune with your inner self.

There are many ways to turn the evening into a nurturing and soul enriching experience. A simple stroll through the realms of dusk and darkness can show you two different worlds: one winding down and one just coming to life. In the evening, the sounds we humans make begin to diminish, and the sounds of earth’s more nocturnal creatures and nature itself become more apparent. As night slowly falls, scents change, and the smell of the soil and greenery become magnified. Sky gazing in the evenings can be a meditative activity – one that reminds us that we are only one part of an infinitely complex and vast universe. Each night, the different phases of the moon show us the passage of time and the waxing and waning of life, as its glowing visage – whether in the shape of a circle, crescent, or a smile –bathes the world in an ethereal, wistful glow.

As crickets chirp and night birds cry out, evening rituals and routines can make your day feel complete, help you unwind from the day’s busyness, and pave the way for rejuvenating sleep. Rituals and routines help you say goodnight to the present day, so you can look forward to the next one. While the sun sets, try doing a series of stretches, lighting some candles, or watching the daylight fade. The soothing, natural beauty of each evening can be your backdrop, as you meditate, quiet your soul, and relax into the peace and stillness that can be found at day’s end. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

For those of us who have lost our faith, or who have alwways had to struggle along without it, it’s often helpful just to accept — blindly and with no reservations. It’s not necessary for us to believe at first; we need not be convinced. If we can only accept, we find ourselves becoming gradually aware of a force for good that’s always there to help us. Have I taken the way of faith?

Today I Pray

May I abandon my need to know the why’s and wherefore’s of my trust in a Higher Power. May I not intellectualize about faith, since by its nature it precludes analysis. May I know that “head-tripping” was a symptom of my disease, as I strung together — cleverly, I thought — alibi upon excuse upon rationale. May I learn acceptance, and faith will follow.

Today I Will Remember

Faith follows Acceptance.

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One More Day

[bluidkiti]

May 2

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Hold fast to dreams For if dreams die, Life is a broken-winged bird That cannot fly. --Langston Hughes
Watching birds spread their wings and soar can remind us of the best in ourselves. In joyful moments we all feel our own desire to fly, to reach toward what we dream of doing.
Our dreams give us a direction to fly. Birds fly toward the light for joy, toward green leaves for shelter, to water and berries for food. In the same way, our dreams direct us to the course of our own joy, shelter, and nourishment.
Sometimes as we fly, we bump into disappointments. They may temporarily stun us or slow us down. But just like birds that are occasionally wounded, we can heal ourselves and fly again. We can choose to not let the hardships of life break our spirited wings. Rather, we can keep spreading our wings, soaring in the spirit of joy.
Am I flying today, or must I heal a wound first?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Gardening is an active participation in the deepest mysteries of the universe. --Thomas Berry
We grow in our spirituality by participating in activities that convey a sense of awe and mystery. Tending growing plants does this for some of us. Playing and listening to music, appreciating and creating art and literature do it for others. Hiking in the wilderness, camping, fishing, hunting, or photography have the same value. Membership in a religious group and attending services are other important ways. Engaging in the loving feelings in relationships does this for many of us.
As men in recovery, we need active ways to move beyond the boundaries of our own skins. We need to know we are part of a larger whole which has mysteries we cannot fully solve. When we identify our own ways of being spiritual, we can give them more respect. Perhaps we can also explore some other ways we have not developed.
Today, I will participate in the mysteries and beauties of life.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Insight is cheap. --Martha Roth
For years we kept ourselves in a split condition: With one part of our minds we looked at ourselves and said, "I do some self-destructive things because I don't believe I deserve love." When we became involved with unsuitable people or abused our bodies, we said, "I am punishing myself--I am expecting too much--I neglect my own needs."
We may see clearly how and why we get in our own way. But unless we have faith in a power greater than ourselves, we won't step aside. We won't let go. We'll do the same thing and "understand" ourselves in the same ways. We may even use our "insight" to keep ourselves stuck--to protect ourselves from the risk of change.
Now, having had a spiritual awakening, having come to believe that a higher power can restore us, we possess a gift more powerful than the keenest insight--faith in our ability to grow and change. We are children of God. All the creative power of the universe streams through us, if we don't block it.
Today, I will have faith, and all will be well.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Recovery Prayer
This prayer is based on a section of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:
Thank you for keeping me straight yesterday. Please help me stay straight today.
For the next twenty-four hours, I pray for knowledge of Your will for me only, and the power to carry that through.
Please free my thinking of self-will, self-seeking, dishonesty, and wrong motives.
Send me the right thought, word, or action. Show me what my next step should be. In times of doubt and indecision, please send Your inspiration and guidance.
I ask that You might help me work through all my problems, to Your glory and honor.
This prayer is a recovery prayer. It can take us through any situation. In the days ahead, we'll explore the ideas in it. If we pray this prayer, we can trust it has been answered with a yes.
Today, I will trust that God will do for me what I cannot do for myself. I will do my part - working the Twelve Steps and letting God do the rest.


I am letting go of all self-criticism today and changing all my judging thoughts to thoughts of love. I am becoming softer and more gentle and accepting of myself, making more space to feel joy and love. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

See the Divine All Around You

The woman was old, perhaps ninety. She had the frailness we sometimes see in the elderly, but her life force was strong, vital. She sat in the cafe eating breakfast with a younger woman. “You’ve been through a lot,” the younger woman said. “It must be hard since your husband died. How are you doing?”

The older woman chewed a bite of toast, then responded. “I’m okay,” she said. “Everything that’s happened has brought me to a closer walk with the Lord.”

“What do you mean by that?” the younger woman barked.

“This is what I mean,” the older woman said. “I see God in everything. In people. In things. In the world. In myself. It’s just a closer walk.”

I smiled to myself, quit eavesdropping, and finished my breakfast. Every religious faith has its own language. Each has its own frame of reference. But most roads lead to the same destination: taking our place in the Divine rhythm, recognizing Divinity in all that is– in others, in ourselves, and in all the creations of the universe.

Open to your connection to the world around you. Know that we really are one. The connection is God. The connection is the Divine as each of us understands it. The connection is love.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say when it’s enough

“Say when,” my friend says as she refills my glass, meaning she wants me to tell her when I have enough juice.

Saying when is a simple idea that we can use in our daily lives, as well. Sometimes there is no visible end to the troubles that beset us, and all we can do is seek shelter from the storm. But often, it’s up to us to decide when we have had enough. An irritant might be just a minor inconvenience for a while, but the longer it lingers, the more irritating it becomes. Say when. Say that you have had enough, and refuse to let the irritant into your life anymore.

A draining person can latch on to a sympathetic ear. Know when that person is starting to take more than you are willing to give. Say when. The same can also be true of good things. Some of my friends like to make five, seven, and even ten or more skydives in a single day. I don’t. I love the sport, but I also know when it becomes too much of a good thing for me. I say when.

God, help me know and respect my limits.

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In God’s Care

It’s not what we don’t know that hurts, it’s what we know that ain’t so.
~~Will Rogers

Much of our spiritual progress is an unlerning process. So many “truths” we thought we could bank on have turned out to be bankrupt. Too many time-honored sentiments that are accepted as noble truths are misleading, false, or exaggerated.

For instance, contrary to what many of us were taught, God’s love isn’t dependent on anything we do or don’t do. Our happiness isn’t found in another person, a possession, or the other places we might look – we need to look inside. We really only gain when we give. Struggle brings defeat; surrender brings victory.

I can unlearn my errors by putting God’s truth to work.

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Appreciating What Is
Enjoying Your Age

by Madisyn Taylor

Try to enjoy the age you are at now, for each age presents its own unique wisdom to savor.


In each stage of life, there are wonderful experiences one can savor and valuable insights one can absorb. Every new decade and, in fact, every new year brings with it wisdom, transformation, and growth, as well as ends and beginnings. Many people, however, believe that there is one age that eclipses the others. They expend energy trying to reach it and, once it has passed, trying to retain it. But wishing to be younger or older is a denial of the joys that have been and the joys yet to be, as well as the beauty of your life in the present. Holding on to one age can make it difficult to appreciate each new milestone you reach. Taking pleasure in the delights of your age, whether you are in your 20s, 40s, 60s, or 80s, can help you see the magnificence and usefulness of the complex seasons of your life.

Each new year gifted to us by the universe is replete with exciting and unfamiliar experiences. In our 20s, we can embrace the energy of youth and the learning process, knowing it’s okay to not have all the answers. As we move through our third decade, we grow more self-assured as the confusion of our young adulthood melts away. We can honor these years by putting aside our fears of aging and concentrating instead on solidifying our values and enjoying our growing emotional maturity. In our 40s, we become conscious of the wisdom we have attained through life experience and are blessed with the ability to put it to good use. We are not afraid to explore unfamiliar territory or to change. In our 50s, we tend to have successfully navigated our midlife reevaluations and have prioritized our lives. In the decades beyond, we discover a greater sense of freedom than we have ever known and can truly enjoy the memory of all we’ve seen and done.

Try to enjoy the age you are at now, for each age presents its own unique wisdom to savor. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When I was drinking, I was certain that my intelligence, backed by will poewr, could properly control my inner life and guarantee me success in the world around me. This brave and grandiose philosophy, by which I played God, sounded good in the saying, but it still had to meet the acid test: How well did it actually work? One good look in the mirror was answer enough. Have I begun to ask God each day for strength?

Today I Pray

May I stop counting on my old standbys, my “superior intelligence” and my “willpower,” to control my life. I used to think, with those two fabulous attributes, that I was all-powerful. May I not forget, as my self-image is restored, that onl through surrender to a Higher Power will I be given the power that can make me whole.

Today I Will Remember

Check for “head-tripping.”

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One More Day

Wisdom denotes the pursuing of the best ends by the best means.
– Francis Hutchinson

Remember when we were youngsters and used to say, “When I grow up, I’m going to . . . “? Somehow that magic moment never arrives. We grow a little each day, but change comes slowly.

We realize we have matured when we recognize our days as a series of options. Diminished health may change those options somewhat, but we still have choices to make.

We do not have a choice over the state of our health, but we can “grow into” acceptance and into more positive attitudes. We can achieve the best for ourselves.

Although some of my choices will be different from those I have originally planned, I can choose the best that life has to offer me now.

[bluidkiti]

May 3

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent. --Erica Jong
How easy it is to look at others with envy, certain that everyone we know is better in every way: school, sports, games, appearance. What we may not know is that each of us is exactly right the way we are. And what's more, no one of us is without talent. Perhaps we simply have not discovered it yet, or maybe we've been certain we knew what the talent should be, rather than letting the talent within us emerge.
It's reassuring to know that we are talented, that we are special just as we are, that no one else is able to bring to this life exactly the same ingredients that we're able to bring.
What special talent shall I exercise today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
"Honesty" without compassion and understanding is not honest, but subtle hostility. --Rose N. Frarnzblau
Any good thing can be used in hurtful or destructive ways. Our entire recovery is based on a fundamental premise of honesty. But our honesty becomes distorted and hurtful when we are not in tune with our motivations. A man who contradicts other group members to feel superior rather than to be helpful is being hostile. If we criticize people about things they cannot change, we are only hurting them. In making amends, we should not approach people who are better off without our contact, or who are better off without our confessions.
As we grow, we encounter more parts of ourselves that may be hurtful. We need to accept those parts too, not condemn ourselves for being human, not hide our destructive impulses from ourselves. Then our honesty with ourselves and with others will not be tainted by dishonest motives.
I pray for honesty with myself first so my honesty with others will be pure.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
. . . love is a great beautifier. --Louisa May Alcott
Meeting life head-on, with a smile, attracts to us people and situations. Our attitudes shape our world--which is not to deny that problems do occur. However, problems can be viewed as special opportunities for personal growth. As gifts, more or less, that we are ready to receive. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. The stumbling blocks we encounter push us beyond our present awareness. They teach us that we are stronger and more creative than we'd thought. Problem-solving is esteem-building.
Negatively confronting the day is sure to complicate any experiences. A simple misunderstanding can be exaggerated into a grave situation, requiring the energy of many people to handle it. On the other hand, a patient, trusting, loving attitude can turn a grave situation into a positive learning experience for all affected.
We can beautify the day by smiling, at it and throughout all the experiences it offers us. The expression of love to everyone we meet guarantees to make us more lovable in return.
How great is my influence today! I can go forth feeling love, if I choose to--guaranteeing an enjoyable day for me and everyone I meet.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Freedom from Self Seeking
Please free my thinking of self-will, self-seeking, dishonesty, and wrong motives. --paraphrased from Alcoholics Anonymous
There is a difference between owning our power to take care of ourselves, as part of Gods will for our life, and self will. There is a difference between self-care and self-seeking. And our behaviors are not as much subject to criticism as are the motives underlying them.
There is a harmonic, gentle, timely feeling to owning our power, to self-care, and to acts with healthy motives that are not present in self will and self seeking. We will learn discernment. But we will not always know the difference. Sometimes, we will feel guilty and anxious with no need. We may be surprised at the loving way God wants us to treat ourselves. We can trust that self-care is always appropriate. We want to be free of self-will and self-seeking, but we are always free to take care of ourselves.
God, please guide my motives today, and keep me on Your path. Help me love myself, and others too. Help me understand that more often than not, those two ideas are connected.


It is beautiful to know that I am the creator of how I think and feel today, that I can choose my now. Today I choose to feel joy and I will do all that I have to do to make that possible. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Say Good-Bye with an Open Heart

On our journey, we meet many souls with whom we interact, exchange energy, in a way that enhances our growth and theirs. We learn lessons together. We break bread. We share love. But there often comes a time to say good-bye.

A good-bye can come suddenly, unexpectedly, without much warning. Or a good-bye can be expected, planned on, and take a while to work out. The length of time doesn’t matter. What matters is how we handle our good-byes.

We can do it with our hearts open, saying thank you for all we’ve learned. Or we can close our hearts and bitterly say we’ve lost again. We can say good-bye with an attitude of trust, faith, and love, believing our hearts led us together, for the time we were close, to celebrate life and further our journeys. Or we can do it with harsh judgement, asking what’s wrong with us that our paths didn’t let us stay together. We can say good-bye with our hearts open, feeling our sadness, our longing, and our joy. Or we can say good-bye with emotions walled off, saying that’s just the way life is.

Sometimes, it’s time to say good-bye. We can’t always choose timing, but we can choose the words of our heart.

And sometimes it’s not good-bye. It’s till we meet again.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say when it’s too much

I was sitting at the bus stop many years ago watching impatiently for the bus. I had been patient for so long– taking the bus to the grocery store, lugging big bags of groceries home. Whenever I found myself feeling irritated about not having a car, I’d be grateful that I was sober and that I could get around. I’d be grateful for all the good things in my life.

Yet, it was getting harder and harder to be grateful.

The bus finally arrived, and I bustled my way on with my heavy bags, then lugged them the two blocks to my apartment after the bus dropped me off. I didn’t want to cry, but I couldn’t help it that day.

“God, I’m getting sick of walking and taking the bus,” I said. “I’m tired of this. How much longer do I have to wait to get a car?”

Within two months, I was driving an automobile.

It’s important to be grateful. But sometimes, repressing our emotions and not saying how we feel about a situation is a form of trying to control the situation,too. We think if we hold our breath, don’t complain, and do everything right, the universe will just benevolently give us what we want.

Is there some situation in your life that you’ve been hoping would magically get better if you bit your lip and wished long enough? If you’ve started playing the waiting game in a particular situation, tell yourself how you really feel.

Maybe it’s time to say when.

God, help me forgive myself for having needs and desires.

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Going on Retreat
Making Time for Reflection

Going on retreat can be a powerful way to process what is happening in your life.


Giving ourselves time to reflect and heal can be a powerful way to process the things that are happening in our lives, and one of the best approaches to do this is by going on a retreat. Going on a retreat means that we have set the intention to heal and learn more about our spirit, and doing this is a decision that we make for ourselves.

Since everyone sees and experiences the world differently, it is important to choose a type of retreat that works best for us. Even though a friend or loved one may recommend something, we have to trust our intuition and select a path that really connects with what our soul needs most at the time. The most essential thing is to be willing to respect our unique stage of development and to be patient with ourselves since any thoughts or issues that arise are simply part of the process of healing. Just remembering that a retreat is an intense period of time where serious soul searching takes place can help us allow whatever may happen to us to fully unfold. Going on retreat may sound like a vacation, but most retreat experiences ask you to look deep inside of yourself, and sometimes this can be uncomfortable or stir the pot of our soul.

Putting our trust in the retreat process will make space for the necessary work we have to do, making it easier for our hearts and minds to explore wholly the innermost reaches of our soul. By paying attention to these messages, we pave the way for greater healing and transformation, since spending time in contemplation at a retreat will give us the gift of insight and understanding that we can use in all aspects of our daily lives. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“To stand on one leg and prove God’s existence is a very different thing,” wrote Soren Kierkegaard, “from going down on one’s knees and thanking Him.” It is my confidence in a Higher Power, working in me, which today releases and activates my ability to make my life a more joyous, satisfying experience. I can’t bring this about by relying on myself and my own limited ideas. Have I begun to thank God every night?

Today I Pray

May I remember constantly that it is my belief in my Higher Power that flips the switch to release the power in me. Whenever I falter in my faith, that power is shut off. I pray for undiminished faith, so that this power — give by God and regenerated by my own belief in it — may always be available to me as the source of my strength.

Today I Will Remember

Faith regenerate God-given Power.

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One More Day

In our own secret hearts we each and all of us feel superior to the rest of the world, or, if not superior, at least “different” with a difference that is very precious and beautiful to us, and the base of all our pride and perseverance.
– Solomon Eagle

How alike we all are, yet how different. Differences are what make each person so special. All our efforts and all our experiences can shine forth ready to enhance our lives and the lives of others when we dare to let our differences show.

In the complex world, each of us and our differences are needed. To find where our uniqueness is most useful, we may have to go out of our way. We may need to actually create a niche for ourselves as we have done so many times before. In doing this, we affirm our value and that of all others.

I accept my differentness as a gift and a strength, not a weakness.

[bluidkiti]

May 4

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
A person can grow only as much as his horizon allows. --John Powell
Should you be a doctor or perhaps an astronaut? Maybe being a writer or an athlete appeals to you. Dreaming of what to be can be useful. It helps us set our goals and learn our values. Also, using our imagination lets us "try on" a future role. We learn about our life's direction through our dreams of where to go and what to do.
Not all dreams are helpful, however. Sometimes we daydream about other things when we really do need to listen. Learning how to use our imagination to guide our plans for growing up takes practice.
Imagining ourselves happy and brave will help us feel both. Imagining ourselves as failures can be just as powerful. Let's respect the power of the imagination and use it to form good images of our future.
How can I build goodness and success into my future today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
What if the interests of the self were expanded to ... a God's eye view of the human scene ... accepting failure as being as natural an occurrence as success in the stupendous human drama... as little cause for worry and concern as having to play the role of a loser in a summer theater performance. --Huston Smith
Detachment is a mature and wise way of dealing with life experiences. It is sometimes difficult because it challenges our maturity. How can we take failure lightly when we have been taught all our lives to be winners and to accept every dare? How can we stand back from a loved one who is anxious and in pain, still be supportive, but not take charge as if it were our problem?
We can question some of our old ideas. Maybe we were wrong to think we should always be Prince Charming who rescues maidens in distress. Maybe our ideas about being winners have been compulsions that stood in our way of having true friends.
As my perspective is changed, I will get stronger in maintaining a healthy detachment


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The rare and beautiful experiences of divine revelation are moments of special gifts. Each of us, however, lives each day with special gifts which are a part of our very being, and life is a process of discovering and developing these God-given gifts within each one of us. --Jeane Dixon
Have we discovered what our gifts are? We assuredly have them, and now that we are abstinent we have opportunities, daily, to share them with others. Sharing them knowingly will bring joy to us, but more than that, we will grow in appreciation of ourselves. And we do need to realize how very important we are to others.
Many of us came into this program nearly feet first. Most of us were filled with rage, shame, or both. Life had dumped on us. We had survived only minimally. The knowledge that we had something to offer the human race was not ours, then. It may still be knowledge that escapes us, from time to time. But we can learn to acknowledge it.
We have many talents that are ours alone to offer the world. Perhaps we express ourselves adroitly; maybe we write particularly well. Listening when it's most needed by a friend may be our finest talent today. We might have gifts as a musician or a manager. Our inner self knows our strengths. We can listen for that voice.
God is trying to get my attention today, to direct my energies to make the most of my special talents. I will be aware.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Freedom from Compulsive Disorders
Thank you for keeping me straight yesterday. Please help me stay straight today. -- paraphrased from Alcoholics Anonymous
When I first began my recovery from codependency, I was furious about having to begin another recovery program. Seven years earlier, I had begun recovery from chemical dependency. It didn't seem fair that one person should have to address two major issues in one lifetime.
I've gotten over my anger. I've learned that my recoveries aren't isolated from one another. Many of us recovering from codependency and adult children issues are also recovering from addictions: alcoholism, other drug dependency, gambling, food, work, or sex addiction. Some of us are trying to stay free of other compulsive disorders - ranging from caretaking to compulsively feeling miserable, guilty, or ashamed.
An important part of codependency recovery is staying clean and free of our compulsive or addictive behaviors. Recovery is one big room we've entered called healthy living.
We can wave the white flag of surrender to all our addictions. We can safely turn to a Power greater than ourselves to relieve us of our compulsive behavior. We know that now. Once we begin actively working a program of recovery, God will relieve us of our addictions. Ask God each morning to help us stay free of our addictions and compulsions. Thank God for helping us the day before.
Today, God, help me pay attention to all my recovery issues. Help me know that before I can work on the finer points of my recovery, such as my relationships, I must be free of addictive behaviors


Today I am letting a power greater than myself remove all my fear. I am now free to look within for my answers. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Cherish Each Moment

Stop waiting for the one moment in time that will change your life. Instead, cherish all the moments. A desert cactus that blooms briefly only once a year does not consider all the moments it is not in bloom wasted. It considers them necessary and important. It knows the rest of the year, the rest of its life, it is beautiful,too.

All the moments count. The quiet moments. The moments of boredom and solitude. The moments of sharing. The exciting moments of discovery. The moments of grandeur. The agonizing moments when we feel sad, angry, and upset. Each moment in time is equally important. Don’t wait and hope for the one thing, the one person, the one event, that will change your life, plummet you into the future and the life you desire. Instead remember that each moment in time brings change, evolution, and transformation.

Most of us relish the magnificent spiritual experiences, those tremendous discoveries, those important times of change. But those moments don’t happen that often. The truth is, each moment in time is a spiritual experience, an important time of change. Cherish all your moments. Soon you will see the beauty and power of each.

Let each moment have value. Let each day of your life be the spiritual experience you seek. The power to change and evolve lies within you. The life you desire is happening right now. Your destiny is here.

Cherish all your moments. Embrace the beauty and importance of each one.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Know when to say no

Saying no is another way of saying when. For some of us, the hardest word in the language to speak is the short, simple word no. Instead of saying no, we toil on. What will he think if I say no? Mary won’t be my friend if I don’t do this. The project won’t get done unless I do it. I’m not a team player when I say no. A good Christian needs to sacrifice himself. Saying no is selfish. And the list goes on. We abuse ourselves, take on more than we want, and find ourselves bitter and resentful. And we’ve done it to ourselves.

Know your limits. Know when to say no. There may be a few people who are offended by the limits that you set, but usually those are the ones trying to control or manipulate you. Some well-meaning colleagues may tell you that you’re being selfish, but your ultimate responsibility is to yourself. That responsibility includes knowing how and when to set limits.

Look at your schedule. Are you so overloaded or booked that you can’t see when you could have any time for fun, relaxing, or your own personal growth? It may be time for you to start setting limits. Remember, you get to decide what’s best for you.

Learn to say no and stand by your choice.

God, help me to have the strength to set reasonable limits for myself and to tell others when I cannot help them. Help me learn to say no.

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Noticing Synchronicity
Interconnected Experiences

Things happen in our lives for a reason, even if that reason is not clear to you right away.


When events appear to fit together perfectly in our lives it may seem at first that they are random occurrences, things that are the result of coincidence. These synchronous happenings, though, are much more than that, for, if we look at them more closely they can show us that the universe is listening to us and gently communicating with us. Learning to pay attention to and link the things that occur on a daily basis can be a way for us to become more attuned to the fact that most everything happens in our lives for a reason – even when that reason is not clear right away.

When we realize that things often go more smoothly than we can ever imagine, it allows us to take the time to reflect on the patterns in our lives. Even events that might not at first seem to be related to each other are indicators that the universe is working with, not against, us. This idea of synchronicity, then, means that we have to trust there is more to our lives than what we experience on a physical level. We need to be willing to look more closely at the bigger picture, accepting and having confidence in the fact that there is more to our experiences than immediately meets the eye. Being open to synchronicity also means that we have to understand that our lives are filled with both positive and negative events. Once we can recognize that one event is neither more desirable nor better than the other – they all have an overall purpose in our lives -- then we are truly ready to listen to the messages the universe gives us.

While we may not be able to see everything in our lives as being synchronous, we can certainly use hindsight to be more aware of how the universe guides us. This sense of wonder at the mysteries of the universe and the interconnectedness present in our lives will help us see our overall ways of being and will in turn make it easier to work more consciously towards our spiritual evolution. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Many people pray as though to overcome the will of a reluctant God, instead of taking hold of the willingness of a loving God. In the late stages of our addiction, the will to resist has fled. Yet when we admit complete defeat, and when we become entirely ready to try the principles of The Program, our obsession leaves us and we enter a new dimension — freedom under God as we understood Him. Is my growth in The Program convincing me that God alone can remove obsessions?

Today I Pray

May I pray not as a complaining child to a stern father, as though “praying” must always mean “pleading,” usually in moments of helpless desperation. May I pray, instead, for my own willingness to reach out to Him, since He is ready at all times to reach out to me. May I regard my Higher Power as a willing God.

Today I Will Remember

God is Willing.

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One More Day

. ..I was the breadwinner.
Only I didn’t WIN the bread,
I worked hard, and earned it …
– Elise Maclay

When poor health slightly alters the way we live our lives, the adjustment is difficult but feasible. But when poor health alters the way we live our lives and wrenches away even our financial livelihood, the adjustment is far more difficult.

Sufferers of chronic medical conditions often must discontinue working and may have to depend upon loved ones or disability payments for income. It may take some time to regain perspective, to realize that whether we are working or not, we still have personal worth. What matters most is what kind of person we are, not what job we do.

Life has handed me a portion I did not choose and do not welcome, but I can choose my own response.

[bluidkiti]

May 5

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. --William Butler Yeats
When we hold a piece of crystal to the light, it paints rainbows on the wall. When we tap it lightly with a spoon, it sings like a bell. But when we drop it, it shatters in colorless, silent pieces on the floor.
Human beings, sometimes to our amazement, can be as fragile as glass. It's especially easy to forget what makes people we live with or have known for a long time shine or sing. We take for granted the very qualities that made us love them in the first place.
When we forget how to see and hear the people we love, how to appreciate them, we grow careless. Too often, from sheer neglect, the relationship between us grows dull and silent, then slips, falls, and shatters. Paying attention to other people's needs and feelings can prevent this.
Whose presence can I appreciate today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Living itself, (is] a task of such immediacy, variety, beauty, and excitement that one is powerless to resist its wild embrace.
--E. B. White
Our First Step in this program introduces us to a radical idea -- that accepting our powerlessness is beneficial. Yielding to life's embrace takes us in wonderful directions. The experience of meeting this still unformed day, defining how we will live today, making contact with our Higher Power, accepting the variety and the beauty that is here for us -- far exceeds our individual power. Yet in surrendering to life as it unfolds, we find ourselves on an adventure. This is like reading a good story or unraveling an exciting mystery.
Anyone, whether he has our affliction or not, who tries to take control of what cannot be controlled, brings trouble to himself. Today let us engage with life.
I will accept both the embrace and the insecurity of not being in charge.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
. . . it is a peaceful thing to be one succeeding. --Gertrude Stein
Success is at hand. While we read these words, we are experiencing it. At this very instant, our commitment to recovery is a sign of success, and we feel peace each time we let go of our struggle, turning to another for help, for direction. Because we strive only for perfection, we recognize nothing less; we block our awareness of the ordinary successes that are ours again and again. Thus, the serenity the program promises us eludes us. But we are succeeding. Every day that we are abstinent, we succeed.
We can think of the times--perhaps only yesterday--when we listened to a friend in need, or finished a task that was nagging at us. Maybe we made an appointment to begin a project we've been putting off. Success is taking positive action, nothing more.
Many of us, in our youth, were taught that success only came in certain shapes and sizes. And we felt like failures. We need new definitions; it's time to discard the old. Luckily for us, the program offers us new ones.
Every person, every situation, can add to my success today. My attitude can help someone else succeed, too.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Control
Many of us have been trying to keep the whole world in orbit with sheer and forceful application of mental energy.
What happens if we let go, if we stop trying to keep the world orbiting and just let it whirl? It'll keep right on whirling. It'll stay right on track with no help from us. And well be free and relaxed enough to enjoy our place on it.
Control is an illusion, especially the kind of control we've been trying to exert. In fact, controlling gives other people, events, and diseases, such as alcoholism, control over us. Whatever we try to control does have control over our life and us.
I have given this control to many things and people in my life. I have never gotten the results I wanted from controlling or trying to control people. What I received for my efforts is an unmanageable life, whether that unmanageability was inside me or in external events.
In recovery, we make a trade off. We trade a life that we have tried to control, and we receive in return something better - a life that is manageable.
Today, I will exchange a controlled life for one that is manageable.


Today I will look for opportunities to continue to grow through seeing the beauty around me and in me. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Value the Power of Clear Thought

Value your mind, and the power of conscious, clear thought. All this talk about opening the heart has not been to discount or devalue the power of conscious clear thought, or of opening our minds and expanding our consciousness. A gift, a benefit, from opening our heart is increased clarity of mind and thought.

As we clear the pathway to the heart by feeling, expressing and releasing old emotions, we will clear the path to the mind. Just as the body is connected to the mind, so is the heart. A cramped body can cause fuzzy thinking, but so can a clogged heart. To attempt to think clearly and consciously with the heart closed may not work. It may even prove frustrating and difficult.

“Don’t think so hard,” the wise old man gently instructed me. “You’re hurting your head and your thinking isn’t becoming clear. Relax. Stop trying so hard. Open your heart. Then your thinking will clear. The mind,” he reminded me, ” is connected to the heart.”

If you’re feeling cloudy and confused and can’t get answers, stop trying so hard. Move your body and clear your physical energy. Then try opening your heart. You may see a delightful result. Without trying or forcing, your thinking clears. And it becomes clear without the frustration of trying to force thoughts, ideas, or thought patterns. It happens almost magically, and quite naturally.

The mind is connected to the heart. Value the power of conscious clear thought. Value your mind, and its power, by valuing the power and wisdom of an open heart.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Learn when to say no and yes

Read the following sentences out loud.

“No.”

“No, this doesn’t work for me.”

“No, thank you. This doesn’t feel right to me.”

“No, this isn’t right for me at this time.”

Now try this.

“I have to think about that first, before I can decide, I’ll get back to you later.”

“I’ve thought about it, and the answer is no.”

Now, read this.

“I know I said yes and that this was what I wanted. But I’ve changed my mind. This isn’t working out for me. It’s not right for me anymore. I’m sorry for any inconvenience I might have caused you.”

Now,this.

“Go away and don’t call anymore.”

See, you can say all those things you thought you couldn’t.

Now, read these sentences out loud.

“Maybe.”

“Maybe, but I’m leaning toward no.”

“Maybe. It sounds interesting, but I’m not sure.”

“Yes. That would be nice.”

“Yes, I like that idea. When?”

“Yes, I’d love to.”

“Yes, but the time isn’t right for me now.”

Those are your basic choices, with a few variations. Learn them. Memorize them. Then ask yourself when each answer applies.

Learn to honestly tell people what your real answer is. Look into your heart to decide when a thing is, or isn’t, right for you.

God, help me trust myself about when it’s right to say no, maybe, and yes. Then help me express myself in an honest, loving way.

Activity: Do you have a difficult time expressing yourself? What is the most difficult thing for you to tell people– no or yes? Try giving yourself permission by writing yourself a permission slip, then carrying it around in your purse or wallet. It might read something like this: Dorothy has permission to say no whenever she wants. Or it might read: I have permission to say no ten times this week, and yes five times. Then sign the slip, and let it be a reminder to you to own your power by saying no, yes, or maybe whenever each of those answers is right for you.

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Progressing With Patience
Doing The Best You Can

It isn’t always easy to meet the expectations we hold ourselves to. We may find ourselves in a situation such as just finishing a relaxing yoga class or meditation retreat, a serene session of deep breathing, or listening to some calming, soul-stirring music, yet we have difficulty retaining our sense of peace. A long line at the store, slow-moving traffic, or another stressful situation can unnerve you and leave you wondering why the tranquility and spiritual equilibrium you cultivate is so quick to dissipate in the face of certain stressors. You may feel guilty and angry at yourself or even feel like a hypocrite for not being able to maintain control after practicing being centered. However, being patient with yourself will help you more in your soul’s journey than frustration at your perceived lack of progress. Doing the best you can in your quest for spiritual growth is vastly more important than striving for perfection.

Just because you are devoted to following a spiritual path, attaining inner peace, or living a specific ideology doesn’t mean you should expect to achieve perfection. When you approach your personal evolution mindfully, you can experience intense emotions such as anger without feeling that you have somehow failed. Simply by being aware of what you are experiencing and recognizing that your feelings are temporary, you have begun taking the necessary steps to regaining your internal balance. Accepting that difficult situations will arise from time to time and treating your reaction to them as if they are passing events rather than a part of who you are can help you move past them. Practicing this form of acceptance and paying attention to your reactions in order to learn from them will make it easier for you to return to your center more quickly in the future.

Since your experiences won’t be similar to others’ and your behavior will be shaped by those experiences, you may never stop reacting strongly to the challenging situations you encounter. Even if you are able to do nothing more than acknowledge what you are feeling and that there is little you can do to affect your current circumstances, in time you’ll alter your reaction to such circumstances. You can learn gradually to let negative thoughts come into your mind, recognize them, and then let them go. You may never reach a place of perfect peace, but you’ll find serenity in having done your best. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I knew I had to have a new beginning, and the beginning had to be here. I couldn’t start anywhere else. I had to let go of the past and forget the futrue. As long as I held on to the past with one hand and grabbed at the future with the other hand, I had nothing with which to grasp today. So I had to begin here, now. Do I practice the Eleventh Step, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for me, and the Power to carry that out?

Today I Pray

May I not worry about verbalizing my wants and needs in my prayers to a Higher Power. May I not fret over the language of my prayers, for God needds no language and communication with Him is beyond speech. May the Eleventh Step guide me in my prayers at all times.

Today I Will Remember

God’s will be done.

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One More Day

Learn to like what you are, for you take yourself with you wherever you go.
– K. O’Brien

A change in physical or mental health can lower our self-esteem. One of the hardest tasks we have to face is learning to accept who we are right now, not what we wanted to be.

Every day we have the right to assure ourselves that we are doing the very best job that we can do. Acceptance of ourselves allow us a serenity we’ve not known before. This doesn’t mean giving up; in fact, it provides a base from which we can grow. Accepting where we are and who we are today gives us the honesty to admit our deficits. It give us the confidence to really move forward. We can be proud that we are succeeding, even with this new and unwanted burden.

My illness has not changed who I am. The course of my life has been changed, but my direction remains the same — forward.

[bluidkiti]

May 6

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
"Take it away at once," stormed the Princess, stamping her tiny foot in its embroidered slipper. "I hate real flowers; their petals fall off and they die." --Hans Christian Andersen
If love is reserved for things that never die, love is doomed to die. If flowers fade in a minute or two, will not stones wear to sand in time? Even this earth, this garden of life, one day will be like the dust of stars. We must walk gratefully, carefully on it now. Now is the lifetime that passes here, now is the best of all days; now is the flower's eternity in the sun, our chance of a lifetime.
This is all we have, this moment. Within it, anything can be done, any dream fulfilled, if we only use it well. Why hold back? There is nothing to stop us.
What can I do to use this moment well?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Little importance has been given to body awareness. The emphasis is on achievement rather than awareness. Yet it is only those athletes who have a highly developed kinesthetic sense - muscle sense - who ever achieve high levels of excellence.
--W. Timothy Gallwey
The outstanding athlete is guided by the feeling in his muscles and bones. He knows as he moves how much force to apply, how to place the ball on target, or how to dive gracefully. Competitiveness and achievement are useful in our lives. Winning provides us with motivation and fun. But when we give primary importance to being a winner, we weaken and lose balance.
Our balance is strengthened through more awareness in all aspects of our lives. If a ruler refused to hear news from a certain section of his country, his leadership would suffer. When we ignore our feelings and don't reflect on our daily lives, we become weaker and less adequate men. As we read this page today, we are opening ourselves to internal messages and opening the windows of awareness.
God, help me find more balance and learn to be more aware.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
I stand before you as a tower of strength, the weight of the world on my shoulders. As you pass through my life, look, but not too close, for I fear I will expose the vulnerable me. --Deidra Sarault
Vulnerability is as much a part of being human as is strength. Our vulnerability prevents our strength from becoming hard, brittle, self-serving. Our soft edges invite others' openness and their expressions of love.
We learned long ago to be "strong." We were encouraged to need no help, to need nobody. Now, we struggle to ask for help. As we grow in understanding of our human needs, and as we become more aware of the spiritual help available, the difficulty of reaching out to others is eased.
No longer need we look to pills, booze, food, or lovers for strength. All the strength we'll ever need is as close as our thoughts. At this moment, we are a tower of strength, not one weighted with burdens. Rather, our strength is a gift of our connection to a spiritual power that can free us from all the troubles we shoulder. Our vulnerable selves will open our souls to the flood of strength just waiting for our prayers.
I will be as strong as I need to be, when I tap the spiritual source that awaits my call. I will risk my vulnerable self today.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Feeling Good
Make yourself feel good.
Its our job to first make ourselves feel better and then make ourselves feel good. Recovery is not only about stopping painful feelings; it is about creating a good life for ourselves.
We don't have to deny ourselves activities that help us feel good. Going to meetings, basking in the sun, exercising, taking a walk, or spending time with a friend are activities that may help us feel good. We each have our list. If we don't we're now free to explore, experiment, and develop that list.
When we find a behavior or activity that produces a good feeling, put it on the list. Then, do it frequently.
Lets stop denying ourselves good feelings and start doing things that make us feel good.
Today, I will do one activity or behavior that I know will create a good feeling for me. If Im uncertain about what I like, I will experiment with one behavior today.


Today I feel my entire body energized by my powerful positive, thoughts. I feel alive and full of joy as I feed myself with loving and positive energy. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Stay Open to Life

I have a tendency to be dogmatic. If I have an experience that’s unpleasant, I take a firm stand and say, I’ll never go through that again. I’ll never do that again. If something frightens me or I don’t understand it, I’ll push it away. Won’t even consider it. That won’t work for me, I say, sometimes before I know whether it will or not. Being dogmatic shuts us down and can shut life out.

The universe will challenge our prejudices,though. Without being certain how it happened,we may find ourselves doing the very thing we thought we never would, liking it, and hearing a quiet voice, the one that comes from our heart ask, What do you think now? When we’re open, we’ll find ourselves doing things, sharing things, experiencing things, and liking things we never thought we would or could.

Open your heart. Open your mind. Open to life and all it holds for you. Let the dogma dissolve.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say when it’s worn out

Throw it away when it wears out.

John and Al were talking one day about a mutual friend, someone they both knew and liked. “Mark thinks he has to be in pain all the time,” John said. “He defines himself by his resentments. He’s always angry, always upset, and so deeply concerned about how terrible and tragic life is that he’s always pulling out his hair and wailing about life. I’m worried about him,” John said.

“Let him go,” Al said. “People need to wear things out. They need to take their time wearing out their beliefs and attitudes before they’re ready to throw them away. You’ve needed your time to do this. So have I. Give Mark the time he needs–however long that is– to wear his beliefs out too.”

Are you attached to any beliefs that are sabotaging your life– beliefs about your ability to be happy, joyous, and free? Life is a journey through places, through people, and through our beliefs. We wear these beliefs out one by one, shedding them amd making room for a little more light.

Give other people the time and freedom to wear out their beliefs. Give yourself that freedom,too.

Right now, this moment, you’re wearing out a belief. Look around at your life. Trust where you are. Trust what you’re going through. Some belief is wearing thin right now, as you read this. Say when it’s time to throw out that belief.

You are loveable. You are beautiful, just as you are. You have a purpose. There’s a plan for your life. You can take care of yourself. You can think, feel, and solve your problems. Sometimes life is hard, but it doesn’t have to be a struggle. And it doesn’t have to hurt that much and that long. Not anymore. You can detach, and you can detach in love.

Look in the mirror for a few moments. Instead of just being honest with yourself about what you see, be honest with yourself about what you believe about who you see.

God, help me let go of my limiting and sabotaging beliefs.

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Emerging Courageous
Walking Through Your Fear

The situations, activities, and individuals that frighten us remain static. Their relative intensity does not change. Fear, on the other hand, self-magnifies. It is when you are afraid and envisioning all that might go wrong that the energy underlying your fear grows. A tiny flicker of anxiety can easily develop into a terror that manifests itself physically and eventually paralyzes you into inaction. Though frequently, in walking through that fear, we discover that the strength of our fright was out of synch with reality. And we learn that doing what frightens us can lead to great blessings. Confronting your trepidation head-on will help you accept that few frightening scenarios will ever live up to the negative disasters that we sometimes play out in our minds.

Though fear is literally an evolutionary gift meant to sharpen your senses and energize you during times of great stress, it can nonetheless become a barrier that prevents you from fulfilling your potential by causing you to miss out on rewarding, life-changing experiences. During the period before you face your fear, you may have to deal with a barrage of negative thoughts and emotions. Walking through it, whether your fear is public speaking, taking part in an activity that makes you nervous, or asserting yourself when the odds are against you, may be equally as difficult. But once you have emerged unscathed on the other side, which you will, you will likely wonder why you assumed the worst in the first place. As you spend time worrying about what might happen, it’s good to know that your fear probably won’t happen at all. It may feel like a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders, and you will likely feel a sense of passionate pride. Walking through your fear can! mean taking risks and can require both practice and patience. Since it is challenging to act when you are gripped with fear, start small.

Each step you take into fear will strengthen you and help you confront future fears with poise, courage, and confidence. You will also find that when you are willing to stare your fear in the face, the universe will always offer you some form of aid or support. When you see the heights of accomplishment and personal evolution you can attain when you walk through your fears, your faith in yourself will grow, allowing your next step to be easier. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

So many of us suffer from despair. Yet we don’t realize that despair is purely the absence of faith. As long as we’re willing to turn to God for help in our difficulties, we cannot despair. When we’re troubled and can’t see a way out, it’s only because we imagine that all solutions depend on us. The Program teaches us to let go of overwhelming problems and let God handle them for us. When I consciously surrender my will to God’s will, do I see faith at work in my life?

Today I Pray

May I be free of despair and depression, those two “down D’s” that are the result of feelings of helplessness. May I know that I am never without the help of God, that I am never helpless when He is with me. If I have faith, I need never be “helpless and hopeless.”

Today I Will Remember

Despair is the absence of Faith.

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One More Day

Troubles, like babies, grow larger by nursing.
– Lady Holland

The more we allow ourselves to fret about our troubles, the larger they appear to grow. Soon they are blown out of proportion.

Perhaps we need to set some time aside each day specifically for worrying. It’s much easier to put our worrisome thoughts out of our minds if we know that we will deal with them at a certain time every day. This “worry time” will also give us the chance to decide whether we have any control over these problems or whether we should just let them go. None of us is without problems, and if we address them with some serious thinking time each day, we should be able to free our minds for some of the more important things in our lives — like personal growth and development of values.

I will strike a happy balance between worries and joys.

[bluidkiti]

May 7

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Our deeds will travel with us from afar, and what we have been makes us what we are. --George Eliot
We grow within, the way a tree does. We've all seen the rings representing the years of a tree's life. We carry our histories with us, too. Our actions, our attitudes, our goals, and our dreams all gather together inside us to make us what we are today. We're probably ashamed of some of our past, but our behavior each day adds to our history, and we control it.
We can't escape our mistakes, but we don't have to repeat them; and every day that is lived well gives us a history to be proud of.
How can I add goodness to my past--and my future--by my actions today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem, of what to say and how to say it. --Edward R. Murrow
We may reduce our difficulties with others to communication problems, yet the remedy may remain unclear. How can we become more responsible for our share of the communication? Can we stop blaming others? When we improve in those ways, our relationships get better.
Clear, specific, and direct language will help us be more responsible and less blaming. We can use simple words that expose the truth rather than words that hide or sugarcoat it. We can use specific examples and give details rather than generalities or hints. We can be more direct by using you and me language. In the process, we yield to the truth within ourselves - and become more honest.
Today, I will be aware of communicating clearly, specifically, and directly.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
We tend to think of the rational as a higher order, but it is the emotional that marks our lives. One often learns more from ten days of agony than from ten years of contentment. --Merle Shain
Pain stretches us. It pushes us toward others. It encourages us to pray. It invites us to rely on many resources, particularly those within.
We develop our character while handling painful times. Pain offers wisdom. It prepares us to help other women whose experiences repeat our own. Our own pain offers us the stories that help another who is lost and needs our guidance.
When we reflect on our past for a moment, we can recall the pain we felt last month or last year; the pain of a lost love, or the pain of no job and many bills; perhaps the pain of children leaving home, or the death of a near and dear friend. It might have seemed to us that we couldn't cope. But we did, somehow, and it felt good. Coping strengthened us.
What we forget, even now, is that we need never experience a painful time alone. The agony that accompanies a wrenching situation is dissipated as quickly and as silently as the entrance of our higher power, when called upon.
I long for contentment. And I deserve those times. But without life's pain I would fail to recognize the value of contentment.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Fear
Fear is at the core of codependency. It can motivate us to control situations or neglect ourselves.
Many of us have been afraid for so long that we don't label our feelings fear. We're used to feeling upset and anxious. It feels normal.
Peace and serenity may be uncomfortable.
At one time, fear may have been appropriate and useful. We may have relied on fear to protect ourselves, much the way soldiers in a war rely on fear to help them survive. But now, in recovery, we're living life differently.
Its time to thank our old fears for helping us survive, then wave good bye to them. Welcome peace, trust, acceptance, and safety. We don't need that much fear anymore. We can listen to our healthy fears, and let go of the rest.
We can create a feeling of safety for ourselves, now. We are safe, now. We've made a commitment to take care of ourselves. We can trust and love ourselves.
God, help me let go of my need to be afraid. Replace it with a need to be at peace. Help me listen to my healthy fears and relinquish the rest.


Today I choose to accept live on life's terms...all of it. I am open to all I see, hear, think and feeling the moment, without resistance. I am opening to be fully alive and enjoying the adventure. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Are You Angry?

Anger ranks high on the list of perplexing, troublesome emotions. We want to be kind and loving, but then suddenly we feel a jolt in our heart, an edge to our voice. Something has been tapped deep inside. It could be a chunk of old anger, something we weren’t conscious of or safe enough to feel back then. It may be current. Something has come into our life today, and our reaction is anger.

Oh no, we may think, this sin’t what I need. But denying anger will not bring us joy. Hiding it, tucking it away deep inside is not the answer. We may even turn it upon ourselves. Not feeling anger won’t make it go away. Its energy will still be there, pounding away inside us and, in subtle ways, pounding away at others,too. Until we acknowledge our anger, feel it, and release it, it will keep us off balance, on edge, and irritable. We need to give ourselves permission to feel all our emotions, including anger.

But allowing yourself to feel angry doesn’t mean giving yourself permission to rage, to hack and cleave at the world, to verbally abuse those around you. Find ways to express your anger with grace and dignity. Park your car, roll down the windows, and yell. Find a solitary place, a spot where you are safe, then speak loudly about how you feel. Write it out. Shout it out. Pound it out. Go to the gym and work it out.

Anger can be a guide, Used creatively, it can help us decide where to go and where not to go. It can help us get to the next place in our lives. Feeling and expressing our anger in appropriate ways will take us forward to a place of power within ourselves.

Let yourself feel angry when anger is what you really feel. Then get the anger out of your head and out of your body. Once that’s happened, you’ll feel clear. You’ll know what to do next. The path to your heart, to your inner voice, will be opened. Sometimes getting angry is exactly what we need to do next.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say when it’s time to stop coping

In her book Recovering from the Loss of a Child, author Katherine Fair Donnelly writes of a man whose infant daughter, Robyn, died from SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). The child died in the stroller, while the mother was out walking her. The father had stopped to get a haircut that day and was given a number for his turn.

“It was something he never did again in future years,” Donnelly wrote. “He would never take a number at the barber’s and always came home first to make sure everything was all right. Then he would go and get a haircut. It became one of the ways he found of coping.”

I hate “coping.” It’s not living. It’s not being free. It reeks of “surviving.”

But sometimes it’s the best we can do, for a while.

Eight years after my son died, I was signing the papers to purchase a home. It was the first home I had bought since his death. The night before he died, I had also signed papers to buy a new home. I didn’t know that I had begun to associate buying a home with his death, until I noticed my hand trembling and my heart pounding as I finished signing the purchase agreement. For eight years, I had simply avoided buying a home, renting one less-than-desirable place after another and complaining about the travails of being a renter. I only knew then that I was “never going to buy another house again.” I didn’t understand that I was coping.

Many of us find ways of coping. As children, we may have become very angry with our parents. Having no recourse, we may have said to ourselves, “I’ll show them. I’m never going to do well at music, or sports, or studies again.” As adults, we may deal with a loss or death, by saying, “I’m always going to be nice to people and make them happy.Then they won’t go away.” Or we may deal with a betrayal by saying, “I’m never going to open my heart to a woman, or man, again.”

Coping often includes making an incorrect connection between an event and our behavior. It may help us survive, but at some point our coping behaviors usually get in our way. They become habits and take on a life of their own. And although we think we’re protecting ourselves or someone we love, we aren’t.

Robyn didn’t die because her father took a number and waited to get his hair cut.

My son didn’t die because I bought a new house.

Are you keeping yourself from doing something that you really want to do as a means of coping with something that happened to you a long time ago? Cope if you must, if it helps save your life. But maybe today is the day you could set yourself free.

God, show me if I’m limiting myself and my life in some way by using an outdated coping behavior. Help me know that I’m safe and strong enough now to let that survival behavior go.

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Undistracted Energy
Pure Thoughts

The longer we are able to hold a positive thought, the stronger that energy around us becomes.


If we make no effort at all, our thoughts usually scatter in a vast array of directions. They start and stop and move in surprising ways from one second to the next. If we try to follow our thoughts without controlling them, we will be amazed at how truly inconsistent they are. Yet, if we apply our minds to a specific task, especially one that interests us, they gather together and allow us to focus our attention, creating great power and energy. This is what is known as pure thought, because it is undistracted.

The law of attraction—like attracts like—influences all energy, including our thoughts, and this is what makes pure thought so potent. Our undistracted thoughts create a powerful magnet that draws similar energy into our vibrational field. As a result, the longer we are able to hold positive thoughts in our minds, the more powerful the positive energy around us becomes. We don’t need to focus on action and controlling so much when we are surrounded by energy that draws what we want toward us. We can simply respond to the opportunities that naturally come our way. When this is the essence of our experience, we can go with the flow, knowing that we will be okay.

If pure thought is a body, it is our emotions that supply the heart that can really bring it to life. Our thoughts and feelings exist in relation to one another, and they form a feedback loop through which they communicate and empower each other. When we hold a thought in our mind without being distracted, we have achieved pure thought. When we have a positive emotional response to that thought, we enable it to dance and move and breathe itself into existence. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

If I believe that it’s hopeless to expect any improvement in my life, I’m doubting the power of God. If I believe I have reason for despair, I’m confessing personal failure, for I do have the power to change myself; nothing can prevent it but my own unwillingness. I can learn in The Program to avail myself of the immense, inexhaustible power of God — if I’m willing to be continually aware of God’s nearness. Do I still imagine that my satisfaction with life depends on what someone else may do?

Today I Pray

May I give over my life to the will of God, not to the whims and insensitivities of others. When I counted solely on what other people did and thought and felt for my own happiness, I became nothing more than a cheap mirror reflecting others’ lives. May I remain close to God in all things. I value msyelf because He values me. May I have my being in his Being and be dependent only upon Him.

Today I Will Remember

Stay close to God.

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One More Day

Faith has a powerful effect in helping people recover a sense of balance, tranquility, and hope.
– Robert Veninga

It’s the funniest thing about human nature: When we are well we accept our Higher Power with few second thoughts. When we have undergone some kind of crisis, however, large numbers of people seem to lose their faith for a while. After all, who among us hasn’t asked, “Why me?” when our health first took a turn for the worse? Questioning our faith is common at such a time.

A health crisis often encourages soul-searching, and spiritual exploration. Life as we knew it has gone Topsy-turvy, and we need time to adjust. After a while many of us return with renewed strength to our spiritual beliefs.

My belief in my Higher Power may have diminished for a while, but I take comfort in knowing that belief is always there.

[bluidkiti]

May 8

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Talking little, and with the low, tender part of our voices, as in nodding to one who already knows what you mean. --Tess Gallagher
Once there was a small child whose only word was no. When she wanted to indicate yes, she nodded her head emphatically. What she liked to do instead of talk was play. She liked to play outside in the meadow with the bugs and rocks and plants.
The mullein was her favorite plant. She rubbed the soft, furry leaves across her cheek. Her mother told her that in the old days, American Indians used these leaves as bandages. Several years later, Lucy picked a mullein leaf and took it in the house to her mother. "Look, Mama. Indian owee."
We, too, can remember some surprising things from the dim past, before we could talk or understand all that went on around us. Communication does not always depend on words alone but on the tenderness with which they are spoken. Walking through the world in a tender, loving way is a form of communication that goes beyond words to our deepest feelings.
What are some of the ways we show our love without words?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them. --Oscar Wilde
The mature man eventually forgives his parents. Any adult can look back and see childhood wrongs and unfairness. Many of us were disappointed by our parents, even neglected or hurt by them. We certainly didn't get all we wanted or needed. Yet, upon joining the ranks of grown men and women, we become responsible for ourselves. Every situation has limited choices, and we work with what we've got. As adults, we realize this is exactly where our parents were when we were children. They, too, were born into an imperfect world and had to do the best they could.
When we can forgive our parents, we are free to accept them as they are, as we might a friend. We can accept them, enjoy the relationship, and forget about collecting old debts. Making peace with them imparts to us the strengths of previous generations and helps us be more at peace with ourselves.
I pray for the maturity and the wisdom to be more forgiving of my parents.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The battle to keep up appearances unnecessarily, the mask--whatever name you give creeping perfectionism--robs us of our energies. --Robin Worthington
How familiar we are with trying to be women other than ourselves; ones more exciting, we think, or sexier, or smarter. We have probably devoted a great deal of energy to this over the years. It's likely that we are growing more content with ourselves now. However, aren't there still situations in which we squirm, both because we want to project a different image, and because we resent our desire to do so?
We each have been blessed with unique qualities. There is no other woman just like ourselves. We each have special features that are projected in only one way, the way we alone project them.
Knowing that we are perfect as we are is knowledge that accompanies recovery. How much easier life is, how much more can be gained from each moment, when we meet each experience in the comfort of our real selves. The added gift of simply being ourselves is that we'll really hear, see, and understand others for the first time in our lives.
I can only fully focus on one thing, one person at a time. I will free my focus from myself today and be filled up by my experiences with others.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Giving Ourselves What We Deserve
I worked at a good job, making a decent salary. I had been recovering for years. Each morning, I got into my car and I thanked God for the car. The heater didn't work. And the chance of the car not starting was almost as great as the chance that it would. I just kept suffering through, and thanking God. One day, it occurred to me that there was absolutely no good reason I couldn't buy myself a new car - that moment - if I wanted one. I had been gratitude-ing myself into unnecessary deprivation and martyrdom. I bought the new car - that day. --Anonymous
Often, our instinctive reaction to something we want or need, No! I can't afford it!
The question we can learn to ask ourselves is, But, can I?
Many of us have learned to habitually deprive ourselves of anything we might want, and often things we need.
Sometimes, we can misuse the concept of gratitude to keep ourselves unnecessarily deprived.
Gratitude for what we have is an important recovery concept. So is believing we deserve the best and making an effort to stop depriving ourselves and start treating ourselves well.
There is nothing wrong with buying ourselves what we want when we can afford to do that. Learn to trust and listen to yourself about what you want. There's nothing wrong with buying yourself a treat, buying yourself something new.
There are times when it is good to wait. There are times when we legitimately cannot afford a luxury. But there are many times when we can.
Today, I will combine the principles of gratitude for what I have with the belief that I deserve the best. If there is no good reason to deprive myself, I wont.


I am letting go of all self-criticism today and changing all my judging thoughts to thoughts of love. I am becoming softer and more gentle and accepting of myself, making more space to feel joy and love. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Love Yourself

No matter what, love yourself.

Love yourself, even if it feels like the world around you is irked with you, even if it feels like those you’ve counted on most have gone away, even if you wonder if God has abandoned you.

When it feels like the journey has stopped, the magic is gone, and you’ve been left sitting on the curb, love yourself. When you’re confused and angry about how things are going or how they’ve gone, love yourself. No matter what happens or where you are, love yourself. No matter if you aren’t certain where you’re going or if there’s anyplace left to go, love yourself.

This situation will change, this time will pass, and the magic will return. So will joy and faith. You will feel connected again– to yourself, God, the universe, and life. But the first thing to do is love yourself. And all the good you want will follow.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say when something triggers you

How do you defend yourself when you feel angry and hurt?

When Sally was a child, she lived with disturbed parents. They said mean, hurtful things to her much of the time. She wasn’t allowed to say anything back, and she especially wasn’t allowed to say how angry and hurt she felt.

“The only way I could deal with anger was by going numb and telling myself I didn’t care– that the relationship wasn’t important,” Sally said. “Then I carried this behavior into my adult life. I learned to just go cold when I felt angry or hurt. I automatically shut down and pushed people away. One hint of feeling hurt or angry, and boom– I was gone.”

It’s important to know our boundaries. It’s even more important not to allow people to be reckless with our hearts. It’s also important to know how hurt and anger trigger our defenses.

Do you have an instant reaction, not to other people, but to your own feelings of being betrayed, hurt, or angered? Do you shut down? Lose your self-esteem? Do you “go away” from yourself or others? Do you counterattack?

Feelings of hurt and anger will arise in the course of most relationships. Sometimes when we feel that way, it’s a warning that we need to beware. Other times it’s a minor incident, something that can be worked out. You may have needed to protect yourself once, a long time ago. But now it’s okay to be vulnerable and let yourself feel what you feel.

Say when something triggers you and learn how you defend yourself.

God, help me become aware of how I protect myself when I feel hurt, angry, and attacked. Give me the courage to be vulnerable and learn new ways of taking care of myself.

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The Power Within
Energy 101

by Madisyn Taylor

Energy cannot be destroyed, but it be changed and transformed.


There is an undercurrent of energy thrumming through the Universe. Like the wind or a whisper, we can sometimes hear it and often feel it. Most of the time, we sense this energy unconsciously without any tangible proof it is really there. Thoughts, emotions, and the life force in all living things are forms of this kind of energy. So are creativity, growth, and change. The impressions, images, and vague premonitions we get about people and situations are other examples of formless energy. When you enter a space and feel an “intangible tension” in the air that gives you a sense of foreboding in your gut, what you are likely experiencing is energy.

Energy cannot be destroyed, but it can be transformed or transferred from one person, thing, or source to another. Though energy is formless, it does take form and shape in the way it flows and resides within all things: a grain of sand, a bird, a stone, and an ocean wave. Living things radiate complex vibrations while nonliving things’ vibrations are simpler. Energy is a magnifier that can attract like energies while repelling disparate ones. Many of our reactions to people and circumstances are based on unconscious reactions to their energies. We may even intuitively tune into the energy of a situation we are facing when making a decision about how to proceed. With careful practice and meditation, we can learn to sense the energy within other living things and ourselves. We can also become more attuned to how we are impacted by different kinds of energy. For instance, being around too many energies can leave one person feeling edgy or excited, while another person will fe! el tired and drained.

While some people feel that energy can be controlled, others see it is as the unknowable force that moves through all things. The combined energy in all things plays a hand in birth, death, growth, movement, and stillness. Practitioners of Aikido believe that all living beings share a common energy source that is our life force. Whatever your beliefs, it is worthwhile to explore the roles energy plays in your life so you can understand it more fully. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I’ve learned in The Program that I need not apologize to anyone for depending upon God as I understand Him. In fact, I now have good reason to disbelieve those who think spirituality is the way of weakness. For me, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that men and women of faith seldom lack courage. they trust their God. So I never apologize for my belief in Him, but, instead, I try to let Him demonstrate, through me and those around me, what He can do. Do I walk as I talk?

Today I Pray

May my faith be confirmed as I see how God has worked through others since the beginning of time. May I see that the brave ones, the miracle-workers, the happy people are those who have professed their spirituality. May I see, even now as I look around, how God works through those who believe in Him.

Today I Will Remember

To Watch God at Work.

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One More Day

Leisure is the most challenging responsibility a man can be offered.
– William Russell

We are a work-oriented society. As children, we were taught to do our homework and the chores. We may have “played house” or pretended we were “going to work.”

Play, therefor, can be a real challenge, especially for adults. Keyed up from a day in the work force or a day coping with the rigors of illness or pain, we can hardly settle down when busy thoughts crowd our consciousness. Leisure time can be a burden to us if we don’t’ know how to creatively fill it.

Regardless of what our job is, at home or away, we can learn to set it aside when work is over. Playtime should become sacred, for it’s a special time when we feed our need to be carefree and spontaneous.

Using my leisure time for play will keep me healthier, mentally and physically.

[bluidkiti]

May 9

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Planning is deciding what to change today so tomorrow will be different from yesterday. --Ichak Adizes
A house is like a lump of clay that can be molded and changed. It can be fixed and shaped, torn down and added to, painted, papered, carpeted, and panelled. We can think about how to change it, find pictures in books, and order plans. We can stock up on supplies, take fix-it classes, and get advice from others. But the house will remain unchanged until we pick up a brush, grab a bucket of paint, and get to work. Only then will we see tomorrow the results of what we did today.
Our plans help us construct a vision of how we'd like the future to be, but only actions will bring these things about. With confidence in the rightness of our desires, we can be assured that God never gives us a dream we can't reach.
What action can I take today to make tomorrow's changes?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I learned from them that inspiration does not come like a bolt, nor is it kinetic, energetic striving, but it comes into us slowly and quietly and all the time, though we must regularly and every day give it a little chance to start flowing, prime it with a little solitude and idleness. --Brenda Ueland
We tend to be action-oriented and concerned about showing results in the shortest period of time. Our world has emphasized this outlook, especially for men. Now we are seeking spiritual progress. We are on a journey seeking a relationship with our Higher Power, with ourselves, and with others.
Spiritual progress is made by pushing aside busyness and efficiency. We become receptive to inspiration by allowing empty spaces in our lives, some solitude and idleness. This moment - right now - is one such time. It is not clearly goal-oriented. Rather it is a moment when we reflect on ourselves as recovering men. We become receptive to inspiration, to a deeper wisdom, to that part of life which we do not command.
I will remember today that spiritual progress comes only when I make room for it in my life.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
To expect too much is to have a sentimental view of life, and this is a softness that ends in bitterness. --Flannery O'Connor
Having too high expectations is a set-up for disappointment. Expectations that are high lend themselves to a fantasy life, and reality can never match our fantasies. When we get hooked on the fantasies, somehow thinking they are reality, or should be reality, we are vulnerable to the hurt that accompanies the emergence of "the real." Then we feel cheated--bitter: "Why did this have to happen to me?"
Having too high expectations was a familiar feeling before recovery. And it remains familiar to us, even now. Dreams and aspirations aren't wrong. In fact, they beckon us on to better and greater things. But dreams of what we can become through responsible choices are quite different from idle expectations of what will or should be.
Every moment of every day opens the way to my aspirations that enhance reality. I will be open and receptive to reality and its gifts.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Learning New Behaviors
Sometimes well take a few steps backward. That's okay too. Sometimes its necessary. Sometimes its part of going forward. --Codependent No More
Life is a Gentle Teacher. She wants to help us learn.
The lessons she wants to teach us are the ones we need to learn. Some say they are the lessons we chose to learn before we were born. Others say they are the lessons that were chosen for us.
Its frustrating to be in the midst of learning. It is like sitting in algebra class, listening to a teacher explain a subject beyond our comprehension. We do not understand, but the teacher takes the understanding for granted.
It may feel like someone is torturing us with messages that we shall never understand. We strain and strain. We become angry. Frustrated. Confused. Finally, in despair, we turn away, deciding that that formula will never be available to our mind.
Later, while taking a quiet walk, we break through. Quietly, the gift of understanding has reached that deepest place in us. We understand. We have learned. The next day in class, its hard for us to imagine not knowing. It is hard to remember the frustration and confusion of those who have not yet caught on. It seems so easy . . . now.
Life is a Gentle Teacher. She will keep repeating the lesson until we learn. It is okay to become frustrated. Confused. Angry. Sometimes it is okay to despair. Then, it is okay to walk away and allow the breakthrough to come.
It shall.
Help me remember that frustration and confusion usually precede growth. If my situation is challenging me, it is because Im learning something new, rising to a higher level of understanding. Help me be grateful, even in my frustration, that life is an exciting progression of lessons.


Today my trust in the overall and the long run is deep and is growing. When events and people do not act as I would like them to act, I reach deeper inside for my faith and let it comfort me. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Trust Each Step

Stay present for each step of your journey. We don’t go from one place to another in a gigantic leap. We get there in increments, by going through each feeling, each belief, each experience one step at a time.

Sometimes when we pray for miracles, what we’re really praying for is help in skipping steps, for shortcuts. The simple act of acceptance, of returning to each step of our path, can often bring us the miracle we need. Then we see the truth. The real miracle is one always available to each of us: it’s a miracle of acceptance. We can go where we want to go, one step at a time.

Stay present for each step of your journey. Trust each stage. Many things are possible for you if you accept that the fastest way is one step at a time.

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More language of letting go

Say when it’s too much compassion

Sometimes, it’s easy to step across that line and have too much compassion for the people in our lives. Although compassion is good, too much compassion can cripple the people we’re trying to love. We understand so clearly how they feel that we don’t hold them accountable for themselves. Too much compassion can hurt us,too. We can wind up feeling victimized by and resenting the people we’re experiencing too much compassion toward. We’re so worried about their feelings that we neglect our own.

Too much compassion means we don’t believe in others enough to let them do what they need to do to help themselves. It’s a way of telling them, “You can’t.” You can’t handle your reality. You can’t learn your lessons. You can’t handle the truth, so I’ll treat you like a helpless child.

Too much compassion can leave us prey to victimization and manipulation. We’re so worried about how the other person feels that we neglect to take care of ourselves.

Here are some guidleines about compassion.

. If we’re creating a problem for ourselves to solve someone else’s dilemma, we’ve probably crossed the line.

. If we’re so worried about another person’s pain that we’re neglecting our own emotions, we’re probably over-involved.

. If guilt is the underlying motive for our behavior, maybe what we’re practicing isn’t compassion.

The lesson here isn’t to stop caring about others. Instead we need to respect other people’s right to learn their own lessons.

Too much of anything isn’t a good thing. If we’ve crossed that line into too much compassion, we can step back into the safe zone and use a lighter touch.

God, show me if I’m harming someone in my life– a parent, child, or friend– by smothering that person with too much compassion.

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Family Ceremonies
Creating Connections while Apart

by Madisyn Taylor

Create a ceremony around nature to connect with loved ones that are far away.


Life’s journeys may sometimes take us away from our families and friends, but there are many ways to stay connected. Aside from making use of the technology available—speaking on the phone or seeing each other from across cyberspace—we can create simple ceremonies using nature and our own thoughts to connect our hearts across the miles.

The first step in creating your ceremony is to look to nature for similarities in the different surroundings. The second step is agreeing upon something that is meaningful to all involved. If your mother loves birds, then perhaps each time you hear a bird chirp, you can think of her and mentally send love. You may choose the sight of a butterfly, the feel of a breeze or raindrops, or the scent of flowers to remind you of a special someone. The pink glow of sunset might be your favorite time to send a thought, or perhaps the warming oranges of sunrise. We can all see the sun, the moon, and an array of twinkling stars when we look to the skies. The monthly full moon may be your time to connect with your loved ones, or the first star you see each night, knowing that they, too, are gazing into the night sky and sending love. You could choose a day that you would usually celebrate together, such as a holiday or a solstice. If you once shared Sunday brunches in the garden, you can! each seek out a garden on Sundays. Or you can choose a specific time and account for the time difference in order to connect by heart and mind at exactly the same moment.

With practice, we may learn to recognize the feeling that comes when a loved one sends energy our way, and the feeling of soul-to-soul communication. In this case, distance may indeed make our connections stronger. There is certainly much to make us think of our close friends and loved ones often, but when we decide upon a reminder together, we create a simple ceremony of connection that defies any distance. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“Perfect courage,” wrote La Rochefoucauld, “means doing witnessed what we would be capable of with the world looking on.” As we grow in The Program, we recognize persistent fear for what it is, and we become able to handle it. We begin to see each adversity as a God-given opportunity to develop the kind of courage which is born of humility, rather than of bravado. Do I realize that whistling to keep up my courage is merely good practice for whistling?

Today I Pray

May I find courage in my Higher Power. Since all things are possible through Him, I must be able to overcome the insidious fears that haunt me — so often fears of losing someone or some thing that has become important in my life. I pray for my own willingness to let go of those fears.

Today I Will Remember

Praying is more than whistling in the dark.

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One More Day

The dark, uneasy world of family life — where the greatest can fail and the humblest succeed.
– Randall Jarrell

We carry so much emotional baggage from childhood into our adult lives. The sum total of all our experiences forms our personalities and , in the very essence of our being, our spiritual selves. Less often do the wonderful memories, the happier times, spring forward in our minds. The bad feelings, the sad memories, the hard times — these are what we may remember the most.

Who we came from, what we came from, shouldn’t define all that we can be as adults. There may come a time when regardless of our past experiences, we can acknowledge them, put them aside, and move on with our lives.

I can put aside my past by facing my future with hope and promise. I am looking for progress, not perfection.

[bluidkiti]

May 10

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
To apologize: to lay the foundation for a future offense. --Ambrose Bierce
"I'm sorry," said the blind man as he whipped the mare. "I'm sorry," said the mare, as she kicked the blind man in return.
"We're sorry," they assured themselves, as they pushed each other around again and again. Often, we push our troubles with other people around, creeping along in the old rough way, refusing to change because we're too involved to see another choice.
There's little sorrow in being sorry all the time. A true apology doesn't try to explain. Sometimes a true apology just breaks down and cries. Then maybe we're ready to go on--take someone by the hand, tell the whole sad truth, and work to find a better way.
Are my apologies excuses, or requests to be forgiven?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
"You are accepted!" ... accepted by that which is greater than you and the name of which you do not know. Do not ask the name now, perhaps you will know it later. Do not try to do anything, perhaps later you will do much. Do not seek for anything, do not perform anything, do not intend anything. Simply accept the fact you are accepted. --Paul Tillich
New possibilities opened up when we accepted our powerlessness. These possibilities came to us from beyond ourselves. We can open ourselves to acceptance by being responsible for ourselves and practicing the Twelve Steps. We can't improve upon the message that we are accepted, nor can we nail it down. In fact, the very moment we try to impose our control over it, it begins to evaporate.
We can receive this message of acceptance only when we are humble and open to it. After learning to surrender in the First Step of this program, we are ready to yield to messages of acceptance.
I am grateful for the acceptance which has come my way.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
To wait for someone else, or to expect someone else to make my life richer, or fuller, or more satisfying, puts me in a constant state of suspension; and I miss all those moments that pass. They never come back to be experienced again. --Kathleen Tierney Crilly
The steps we are taking today will never again be taken in exactly the same way. The thoughts we are thinking are fresh, never to be repeated. All that these moments offer will never pass our way again.
We each have to grab our own happiness, create our own richness through experiences. We may share what we capture with loved ones, but like us, they too must search their own avenues for the satisfaction that lasts. We can neither give happiness to another, like a gift, nor expect it in return.
The fullness of life we all long for is the natural byproduct of living every moment as fully as possible. Our higher power will never direct us into waters too deep. When we have willingly turned our lives and our wills over, we'll find an abundance of the rich, the full, the satisfying. Faith in God answers all questions, solves all problems.
I will cherish every moment today. Each one is special and will not visit me again.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Enjoying the Good Days
Good feelings can become a habitual part of our life.
There is absolutely no virtue in the unnecessary suffering, which many of us have felt for much of our life. We don't have to allow others to make us miserable, and we don't have to make ourselves miserable.
A good day does not have to be the calm before the storm. That's an old way of thinking we learned in dysfunctional systems.
In recovery, a good day or a good feeling doesn't mean were in denial. We don't have to wreck our good times by obsessively searching for or creating a problem.
Enjoying our good days doesn't mean we're being disloyal to loved ones who are having problems. We don't have to make ourselves feel guilty because other people aren't having a good day. We don't have to make ourselves miserable to be like them. They can have their day and their feelings; we can have ours.
A good feeling is to be enjoyed. More than we can imagine, good days are ours for the asking.
Today, I will let myself enjoy what is good. I don't have to wreck my good day or good feeling; I don't have to let others spoil it either.


Today I am letting a power greater than myself remove all my fear. I am now free to look within for my answers. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Go for the Ride

Not all sections of the road we travel are smooth, paved, easy riding. We may prefer the smooth sections of highway, but sometimes the road gets rough. And the rough section can go on for miles and miles.

That’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost your way. It doesn’t mean the rough section and bumpy spots will lasr forever. You’re still on your path.

Relax. Wiggle your shoulders a bit. Get ready, for you just may be in for the ride of your life. Don’t try to ignore the bumps or pretend they’re not there. Not all roads are paved and smooth. Not all roads are meant to be. Slow down a bit if you need to, but don’t stop.

Accept each part of the journey as it comes. Let each stretch of your path be what it needs to be.

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More language of letting go

Say when it’s time to stop sabotaging yourself

Jenny sat down in the comfortable armchair in the small, pleasantly lit office. The man sitting across from her looked like a normal, friendly man– not at all like she imagined a psychic would look. She relaxed and began to tell him why she was there.

“I don’t usually visit psychics, but I’d like some information and guidance about the relationship I’m in now,” she said. “The guy I’m seeing is a great guy. I’m really in love with him.”

The psychic didn’t have to be psychic to know that a “but” was coming next. He had heard the story many times before.

“But,” Jenny said, “he’s a drug dealer. But it’s only marijuana. And he doesn’t use himself. And he’s just doing it long enough to make enough money to start his own business. Go legitimate, you know.”

After rambling for a while, she stopped. “So,” she asked the psychic,” what do you think?”

“You don’t need a psychic to tell you to get out as fast as you can,” he said, giving her money back. “It’s obvious. The relationship is doomed.”

As in Jenny’s situation, it’s easy to see the ridiculously obvious faulty thinking in our friends and people we’re close to. Sometimes it’s harder to see our own faulty thinking and blind spots.

“I love her, but she’s married.” “I love him, but he’s a cocaine addict.” “I love him, but I know he sleeps around a lot.”

While many people enjoy the benefits of seeking intuitive spiritual guidance at some time in their lives, there are many times we can easily tell our own future. Stop sabotaging yourself. Listen to what you’re saying. Listen to the but’s, to the words that come out of your own mouth. Yes, some drug dealers do reform. Yes, people recover from cocaine addiction every day. Yes, people with long histories of infidelity do stop sleeping around. And some married people do get divorced and marry those with whom they had affairs.

Some people win the lottery– every day. But more people never win the lottery.

Sometimes we’re blindsided by events that couldn’t possibly be foreseen. Sometimes it’s easy to predict trouble. Whenever possible, save yourself the pain and heartache inevitably coming around the bend.

Stop sabotaging yourself. Be your own psychic. Listen to what you’re saying, and give yourself the same basic advice you’d give a friend. You may be the exception to the rule, but probably not.

God, help me let go of my blind spots, the ones that cause me to sabotage my own happiness and well-being.

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Healing What Hurts
Freeing Up Energy

by Madisyn Taylor

The longer we sit on pain the harder it is to allow it to surface and begin healing.


Many of us are going through our lives aware of a well of pain underlying our daily awareness that we’ve felt for so long we aren’t even sure where it comes from. It almost seems as if it’s part of who we are, or the way we see the world, but it’s important to realize that this pain is something that needs to be acknowledged and processed. The longer we sit on it, the harder it is to work through, and the more likely it is that we will be forced to acknowledge it as it makes itself known to us in ways we can’t predict. Rather than waiting for this to happen, we can empower ourselves by identifying the pain and resolving to take action toward healing it.

The very thought of this brings up feelings of resistance in most of us, especially if, on the surface, our lives seem to be in order. It’s difficult to dig up the past and go into it unless we are being seriously inconvenienced by the hurt. The thing is, when we are carrying the burden of our unprocessed pain, sooner or later, it will inconvenience us. If we can be brave and proactive, we can save ourselves a lot of future suffering and free up the energy that is tied up in keeping the pain down.

There are many ways to do this, but the first step is to recognize the pain and honor it by moving our awareness into it. In this process, even if it’s just five minutes during meditation, we will begin to have a sense of what the pain is made of. It might be fear of abandonment, childhood abuse, anger at being mistreated, or some other long held wound. As we sit with the pain, we will also have a sense of whether we can deal with it by ourselves, or not. It may be time to work with a counselor, or form a healing circle with close friends. Whatever path you choose, resolve to go deep into the pain, so that you can release it fully, and set yourself free. Remember, it is never too late in life to heal what hurts, and there is never a better time than now. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

As the doubter tries to process of prayer, he would do well to add up the results. If he persists, he’ll almost surely find more serenity, more tolerance, less fear, and less anger. He’ll acquire a quiet courage — the kind that isn’t tension-ridden. He’ll be able to look at “failure” and “success” for what they really are. Problems and calamity will begin to mean his instruction, instead of his destruction. He’ll feel freer and saner. Have wonderful and unaccountable things begun to happen to me in my new life?

Today I Pray

Through prayer, communion with a Higher Power, may I begin to see my lfie sort itself out. May I become less tense, more sane, more open, more courageous, more loving, less tangled in problems, less afraid of losing, less afraid of living. May I know that God, too, wants these things for me. May His will be done.

Today I Will Remember

Be still and know that He is God.

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One More Day

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
– Mark Twain

It isn’t until we add many years to our lives that we realized just how good most of us had it at eighteen. We were, by and large, only responsible for ourselves. Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

How nice for us that the hindsight we have developed over the years can be used to our own benefit now. We understand that it’s natural for older people to lead and to teach the younger ones. Paying for life’s experiences — joys and sorrows — hasn’t all been easy. We have earned the wisdom we have now.

Since I could not be wise when I was young, the wisdom I have gained with maturity will serve me well as I get older.

[bluidkiti]

May 11

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I'm delighted that the future is unsure. That's the way it should be. --William Sloane Coffin
Some of life's richest moments are the most unexpected: the old friend met by chance, or the new one discovered when neither of us were really looking; the toy at the bottom of the toy box, rediscovered and loved anew; the book, the flower, the shaft of light we were in the right place at the right time to notice and embrace.
It is important to dream and plan, to work toward goals, to mark the milestones we pass on life's journey. No less important, though, is to open ourselves to the unexpected joys awaiting us every day.
Am I ready, today, to expect the unexpected?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
There is no shortcut to life. To the end of our days, life is a lesson imperfectly learned. --Harrison E. Salisbury
There are no perfect days. We have struggled hard against this truth. In our demanding ways, we haven't wanted life to be a process; we have wanted to reach a secure point of arrival. We have struggled against the dialogue and learning process of experience. We've looked for a "fix" and for perfection. Even now in recovery we long to "get it right." We continue to learn and to grow, but the lessons we learn are not the things we expected. We grieve the lateness of our learning, and then we go on to learn more.
As we grow in this program, we learn how to learn. We become more accepting of life as a process with no shortcut to the truth. We learn to engage in the process and accept that there usually is no right or wrong answer at the end of our search.
Today, may I accept the truth which comes from the lessons of my experience - and be tolerant of its incompleteness.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Bad moments, like good ones, tend to be grouped together. --Edna O'Brien
Rough times may be pouring in on us at the moment, and they may seem unending. Difficulties appear to attract more difficulties, problems with loved ones, problems at work, problems with our appearance. A negative attitude, something that we all struggle with at times (some of us more than others), is the culprit.
When the good times come, as they always do, they are accompanied by a positive attitude. We do find what we look for.
Our attitude is crucial. It determines our experiences. A trying situation can be tolerated with relative ease when we have a positive, trusting attitude. We forget, generally, that we have an inner source of strength to meet every situation. We forget the simple truth--all is well, at this moment, and at every moment. When the moments feel good, our presence is light, cheery. When the moments are heavy, so are we.
I can turn my day around. I can change the flavor of today's experiences. I can lift my spirits and know all is well.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Perfection
Many of us picked on ourselves unmercifully before recovery. We may also have a tendency too pick on ourselves after we begin recovery.
If I was really recovering, I wouldn't be doing that again . . .. I should be further along than I am. These are statements that we indulge in when were feeling shame. We don't need to treat ourselves that way. There is no benefit.
Remember, shame blocks us. But self-love and acceptance enable us to grow and change. If we truly have done something we feel guilty about, we can correct it with an amend and an attitude of self-acceptance and love.
Even if we slip back to our old, codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, we do not need to be ashamed. We all regress from time to time. That's how we learn and grow. Relapse, or recycling, is an important and necessary part of recovery. And the way out of recycling is not by shaming ourselves. That leads us deeper into codependency.
Much pain comes from trying to be perfect. Perfection is impossible unless we think of it in a new way: Perfection is being who and where we are today; its accepting and loving ourselves just as we are. We are each right where we need to be in our recovery.
Today, I will love and accept myself for who I am and where I am in my recovery process. I am right where I need to be to get to where Im going tomorrow.


Today my trust in the overall and the long run is deep and is growing. When events and people do not act as I would like them to act, I reach deeper inside for my faith and let it comfort me. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Love Yourself Enough to Relax

Our bodies react to the world around us– and within us– in many ways. Our bodies act like sponges– they can soak up healing energy or they can absorb and trap the negative energy of stress and tension. Some of us are so used to keeping our body tense and bound up we don’t even notice how much they hurt, how strained and tight our muscles are.

Connect with your body. Learn to tell how tense it is. Take a few moments throughout the day to see what hurts, what aches, what muscles are being strained. Although tension can affect the entire body, many of us have favorite places in our body to store stress, places that usually become tense, rigid, and full of aches. Necks, shoulders, lower backs are favorite traps. Become familiar with your body and where it stores stress and tension.

Then, learn to relax. Explore different options. Therapeutic massage. Self-hynosis. Meditation. Soaking in a hot bath. Sitting in the steam room. Exercise. Visualization. Taking time to do activities that bring you pleasure. If you make the effort to explore relaxation techniques, you will find ways to relax that you like and can afford.

If you’ve been soaking up too much stress, give yourself a break. Let your body start soaking up some healing energy,too. Love yourself enough to help your body relax.

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More language of letting go

Say when it’s time to disengage

“Run, duck, hide.”

It’s a motto that has served me well, particularly since I moved to California. “It takes money and a car to live here,” a friend told me once. He was right. And those who don’t have money or a car may try to take yours, I learned soon after that.

Manipulations, scams, and disturbed people abound.

They can be found anywhere. And sometimes these people are not all that disturbed. They’re just going through their stuff, and it doesn’t involve or pertain to us.

Sometimes, it doesn’t make any sense to be therapeutic, helpful, or nice when other people are trying to dump their insanity on you. It will only get you in deeper. Using any rules of engagement will simply mean you’re engaged. Disengage immediately.

Learn when to use your social skills. And learn when it’s time to run, duck, or hide.

God, help me detach when immediate disengagement is what’s required.

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Rain
Cleansing Nature

by Madisyn Taylor

On the next rainy day, imagine the rain washing away and cleansing your emotional body.


There are times when we might feel the need to wash away all of our troubles and call forth freshness into our lives. Since perhaps the most cleansing substance on this earth is water, we can think of the joy rain brings as an energetic bath, rejuvenating our minds, bodies and souls. Just being able to spend a few moments every time it rains to become aware of the healing powers water brings to us can renew us in so many ways. As we do this we will find that the more we appreciate the universe’s gift to us in the form of rain, the more we can see that a gentle rain shower is a strong reflective tool that has the ability to cleanse our entire being.

The next time it rains might be a good chance to experience the rain through all of your senses, allowing you to truly understand just how truly important each and every drop of water is. First, take a few minutes to look outside and notice how each individual raindrop seems to come down in a continual stream. By noticing this you can contemplate how it takes many small accomplishments to create the whole of your existence, for nothing exists in isolation. Then you might wish to focus your attention on the sound of the rainfall, letting the sounds of drops penetrate into the innermost recesses of your self. Listening in this way may bring you a greater sense of connection with nature and the world around you, knowing that the sounds you hear are an integral part of not just the physical sustenance you require but also nourish your spirit as well.

Consciously using our senses to feel nature’s healing energy as it comes to us in the form of rain is an act of internal cleansing. Just as the rain physically washes over the earth and rinses out any impurities and imperfections, so it also bathes our spirit in the joy that comes from knowing that we are in fact one with the world around us. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Now that I know I can’t use bottled courage, I seek and pray for 24-hour courage to change the things I can. Obviously, this isn’t the kind of courage that will make me a strong and brave person for life, able to handle any and all situations courageously. Rather, what I need is a persistent and intelligent courage, continuing each day into the next one — but doing today only what can be done today and avoiding all fear and worry with regard to the final results. What does courage mean to me today?

Today I Pray

May I tackle only those things which I have a chance of changing. And change must start with me, a day at a time. May I know that acceptance often is a form of courage. I pray not for super-bravery, but just for persistence to meet what life brings to me without being overcome by it.

Today I Will Remember

Courage is meeting A Day At A Time.

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One More Day

The emotions may be endless. The more we express them, the more we may have to express.
E. M. Foster

Like layers of paint, our resistance to expressing our emotions can be peeled away. Poor health may make us feel as though we don’t want to expend the effort anymore. We may have withdrawn within ourselves, isolated our feelings from risk or hurt or disappointment.

Right now might be a good time to take a long, hard look at ourselves. Are we protecting ourselves by not discussing our feelings or sharing our emotions with others? Not until those outer layers of fear, loneliness, and pain are stripped away can we get in touch with our emotions. Surprising as it seems, when we let go of our feelings and start to be totally honest with ourselves, we find greater and deeper and lovelier emotions to express.

I can openly express my feelings to those closest to me.

[bluidkiti]

May 12

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I would be honest, for there are those who trust me. --Howard Arnold Walter
Some of those around us seem to see only the good in us. They trust and respect us, even when we ourselves may not feel we deserve it.
A young girl once talked about her grandfather. She said, "He was the only person in my life who saw the good in me." She mentioned that she sought to please her grandfather and not disappoint the trust which he placed in her. He brought out the best in her because of the way that he looked at her. Each of us can be like this grandfather by focusing on the good in other people. We can use our spiritual eyes to see love, honesty, trustworthiness, and unselfishness in the heart of another. As we look for the good, we are doing our part to help create it.
Do I see the good in those around me right now?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
In my friend, I find a second self. --Isabel Norton
Our mates and close friends present us with another view on what it is to be a human being. In being close we lower our barriers and get a feeling for what life is like from that person's perspective. We develop a feeling of empathy for him or her, and we multiply our life experiences by participating with others.
Through our closeness to someone, we might be confronted by a new awareness of ourselves. We may see something about ourselves we don't like and could never have seen on our own. We may see how similar we are to our friends, or how different, or how common and human our problems are. While each man lives his own life, through empathy we are given another window on the experience of living. Having a friend is a rich experience which increases our wisdom about life.
I am thankful for relationships. I feel grateful that I am not alone.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Every human being has, like Socrates, an attendant spirit; and wise are they who obey its signals. If it does not always tell us what to do, it always cautions us what not to do. --Lydia M. Child
Our Spirit is our inner guide. And our Spirit never, never, gives us wrong directions. Because we're human, it's all too easy to deny the voice from within. Some call it conscience. And our behavior, maybe frequently, maybe occasionally, belies what our conscience knows is right. We suffer for it.
We are trying to be healthy, emotionally, spiritually, physically. Each day we can make progress. With each action we take, we have a choice. Our Spirit, our conscience, should be consulted. Right choices make for right actions that will emotionally and spiritually benefit us and the other persons close to us.
It's comforting to rely on the inner voice. It assures us we're never alone. No decision has to be made alone. No wrong action need ever be taken. A sense of security accompanies the partnership between each of us and our Spirit.
I will let the partnership work for me today.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Intimacy
We can let ourselves be close to people.
Many of us have deeply ingrained patterns for sabotaging relationships. Some of us may instinctively terminate a relationship once it moves to a certain level of closeness and intimacy.
When we start to feel close to someone, we may zero in on one of the persons character defects, and then make it so big its all we can see. We may withdraw, or push the person away to create distance. We may start criticizing the other person, a behavior sure to create distance.
We may start trying to control the person, a behavior that prevents intimacy.
We may tell ourselves we don't want or need another person, or smother the person with our needs.
Sometimes, we defeat ourselves by trying to be close to people who aren't available for intimacy - people with active addictions, or people who don't choose to be close to us. Sometimes, we choose people with particular faults so that when it comes time to be close, we have an escape hatch.
Were afraid, and we fear losing ourselves. Were afraid that closeness means we wont be able to own our power to take care of ourselves.
In recovery, were learning that its okay to let ourselves be close to people. Were choosing to relate to safe, healthy people, so closeness is a possibility. Closeness doesn't mean we have to lose ourselves, or our life. As one man said, were learning that we can own our power with people, even when were close, even when the other person has something we need.
Today, I will be available for closeness and intimacy with people, when that's appropriate. Whenever possible, I will let myself be who I am, let others be who they are, and enjoy the bond and good feelings between us.


When I place myself in the hands and heart of my Higher Power today, I know that I will get my needs met. Only then do I trust that I will come from good and love, keeping the good of others in my mind and my heart. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Discover Inspiration Points

Sometimes, we become so caught up in the daily grind that we forget how much beauty and inspiration our world offers. We forget about the power of inspiration.

My favorite inspiration point in Colorado is a small stand next to the Royal Gorge Bridge, the highest suspension bridge in the world. The stand overlooks the gorge, offering a magnificent overview of canyons, mountains, peaks, and plains. In Bryce Canyon, the place called Inspiration Point overlooks massive canyons. From that vantage point, you can see delicately shaped spirals, in the orange iron color so prominent in the canyon, surrounded by the lighter sandstone and sulfur peaks.

What inspires you? Discover inspiration points– those high places of the spirit from which you can see more, see more clearly, see more beautifully. Spend time taking in a grander view of life. See how calming and inspiring it is. See how you return to life with vigor, enthusiasm, and passion.

Visit places that invigorate your soul, help you see the larger picture. Find places in your home, your community, your state. Look for that place in yourself, that sacred inspiration point within you, where your soul and heart see the larger picture, where you and your ideas come to life, where you make the connection between your soul and the world around you. Seek the power of inspiration.

Inspiration points abound. Open up. Look around. When you seek inspiration, it will come to you.

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More language of letting go

Say when it’s time to save your own life

I jumped out of the plane, and my jump master followed close behind. This was going to be a fun jump. We were going to play Simon Says in the air.

He did a 360-degree turn to the right. I turned,too. He turned to the left, and I did the same. Then he did a back loop. Okay, I thought. Here I go. I jerked my knees up, but instead of back looping, I rolled onto my side and went into a spin. With each spin, I whirled faster and faster.

I tried to arch, the body position that would get me falling belly down and stable, and make it safe to pull my parachute, but my body movements weren’t working the way they were supposed to work. Maybe if I push my right arm out further, or maybe it’s my left leg, I thought.

My jump master watched me whirling like a fan blade. He tried to catch me each time I whirled around, but he couldn’t get ahold. I kept focusing on trying to stop my spin. Finally, he yanked my hand, pointing to my altimeter.

My God, I was getting low. In less then thirty seconds, I’d hit the ground and my life would be done. I’d be dead.

The moral of this story is simple. I learned it when I joined my jump master back on the ground. “What are you going to do,” he asked, “spend the rest of your life trying to gain control?”

Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in a situation. We get so focused on the details of figuring out how to solve a problem that we can’t fix, that we lose sight of the time. Our lives are whizzing by, and the ground is coming close.

Have you gotten caught up in trying to control something you can’t? If you have, maybe it’s time to stop trying to fix it and instead save your own life.

God, grant me awareness of what I meed to do to take care of myself.

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The Power Within
Energy 101

by Madisyn Taylor

Energy cannot be destroyed, but it be changed and transformed.


There is an undercurrent of energy thrumming through the Universe. Like the wind or a whisper, we can sometimes hear it and often feel it. Most of the time, we sense this energy unconsciously without any tangible proof it is really there. Thoughts, emotions, and the life force in all living things are forms of this kind of energy. So are creativity, growth, and change. The impressions, images, and vague premonitions we get about people and situations are other examples of formless energy. When you enter a space and feel an “intangible tension” in the air that gives you a sense of foreboding in your gut, what you are likely experiencing is energy.

Energy cannot be destroyed, but it can be transformed or transferred from one person, thing, or source to another. Though energy is formless, it does take form and shape in the way it flows and resides within all things: a grain of sand, a bird, a stone, and an ocean wave. Living things radiate complex vibrations while nonliving things’ vibrations are simpler. Energy is a magnifier that can attract like energies while repelling disparate ones. Many of our reactions to people and circumstances are based on unconscious reactions to their energies. We may even intuitively tune into the energy of a situation we are facing when making a decision about how to proceed. With careful practice and meditation, we can learn to sense the energy within other living things and ourselves. We can also become more attuned to how we are impacted by different kinds of energy. For instance, being around too many energies can leave one person feeling edgy or excited, while another person will fe! el tired and drained.

While some people feel that energy can be controlled, others see it is as the unknowable force that moves through all things. The combined energy in all things plays a hand in birth, death, growth, movement, and stillness. Practitioners of Aikido believe that all living beings share a common energy source that is our life force. Whatever your beliefs, it is worthwhile to explore the roles energy plays in your life so you can understand it more fully. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

My courage must come each day, as does my desire to avoid a single drink, a single tranquilizer, a single addictive act. It must be a continuing courage, without deviations and procrastination, without rashness, and without fear of obstacles. This would seem like a large order indeed, were it not for the fact that it is confined to this one day, and that within this day much power is given to me. Do I extend the Serenity Prayer to my entire life.

Today I Pray

May each new morning offer me a supply of courage to last me during the day. If my courage is renewed each day and I know that I need just a day’s worth, that courage will always be fresh and the supply will not run out. May I realize, as days pass, that what I feared during the earliest days of my recovery I no longer fear, that my daily courage is now helping me cope with bigger problems.

Today I Will Remember

God Give Me Courage – Just For Today.

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One More Day

Every day cannot be a feast of lanterns. – Chinese Proverb

Many of us sometimes feel as though our lives are boring, as though each day is too predictable and routine. I’m missing something, we may think to ourselves, or there has to be more to life than this.

It’s those times that we can remind ourselves to think of life as a journey. As with any lengthy trip, this one, too, has days in which the scenery is monotonous and uninspiring. But we’re moving; we’re making progress in our personal growth, an dour attitudes are improving. Routine is not a bad thing, and it can be a good element of our lives when it gives form and balance to our days. Routine is often what gives us the time and energy to tackle new projects or to make changes.

Today, I will enjoy the calmness of my life. Within this calmness, I will dream and make plans for making my life even fuller.

[bluidkiti]

May 13

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Talent--I don't know what that is. It's will. You dream a dream and then you build it. --Philippe Petit
Even the most accomplished pianists begin at some point by playing simple scales and exercises. With daily practice, their hands learn to find the correct notes and become limber enough to play well. They learn each new piece of music very slowly at first, until, with study and practice, they can play almost without effort.
In the beginning, the pianist only dreams of being an accomplished musician. This dream helps the artist through many hours of practice and study.
Talent is really the combination of a dream and the time spent building it. We develop our ability by devoting time to the skills that interest us. Like the musician, we become talented through daily practice--the daily building of a dream. By developing our talents, we develop who we are.
Who am I becoming today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might. --Marion Anderson
Because of our resentments we sometimes get tense. We say we aren't going to have contact with our parents until they do something we expect of them. Or we hold out on a friend because we want an apology for an injury or injustice.
Sadly, we become more tense, more limited in our own joy, by holding someone else to our expectations. Our lives can be much richer and more fulfilled when we let go of these expectations. We can let go of manipulating or drawing forth the responses we want. Our manipulations and pouting make life too boring and limited. No one else need stand in the way of our pleasure of being adult men.
Today, I will let go of my claims on others so I can be free to soar.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Your sense of what will bring happiness is so crude and blundering. Try something else as a compass. Maybe the moralists are right and happiness doesn't come from seeking pleasure and ease. --Joanna Field
We think we know what will make us happy. Seldom do we readily accept that painful moments are often the price tags for peaceful, happy times. Nor do we appreciate that happiness lives within each of us; never is it intrinsic to the events we experience. Because we look for happiness "out there" and expect it gift-wrapped in a particular way, we miss the joy of being fully alive each passing moment. How distorted our sense of happiness was before finding our way to this program! How futile our search!
The way still isn't easy every Step we take, but those fleeting moments when we can get outside of ourselves long enough to be fully attentive to the people in our lives, we'll find happiness. We'll find it because it's been there all the time. It flows between us when we open our hearts to give and to receive compassion. Being truly there for another person is the key which unlocks the gate holding happiness back.
I will let someone in today and feel the rush of happiness.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Property Lines
A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful property.
If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative, that is their issue, not ours.
If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.
If someone is in denial or cannot think clearly on a particular issue, that confusion belongs to him or her.
If someone has a limited or impaired ability to love or care, that is his or her property, not ours. If someone has no approval or nurturing to give away, that is that persons property.
Peoples lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too. Not us.
Peoples hope and dreams are their property. Their guilt belongs to them too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs. So are their beliefs and messages.
If some people don't like themselves, that is their choice. Other peoples choices are their property, not ours.
What people choose to say and do is their business.
What is our property? Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.
In recovery, we learn an appropriate sense of ownership. If something isn't ours, we don't take it. If we take it, we learn to give it back. Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what's ours.
Today, I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn't. If its not mine, I wont keep it. I will deal with my issues, my responsibilities, and myself. I will take my hands off what is not mine.


Today I will wait in quiet and faith for a clear answer before making any decisions. Today I feel secure, trusting that my instincts are guiding me on every step on my path. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Forgive Yourself

Doesn’t it feel good to forgive yourself? You don’t have to be afraid or reluctant to do that anymore. Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean you’re condemned. It means you’re setting yourself free.

We can gather so much guilt as we go through life. We may blame ourselves for the experiences we’ve had and how we’ve handled them. We may build up resentments against ourselves. We may even resist forgiving ourselves because we think that means saying we were bad and wrong. But not forgiving ourselves when we need to often leads us to return to situations that are unhealthy for us.

Forgiving yourself means you can leave places that feel bad, you can end relationships that no longer work, you can avoid situations that cause you continual pain and grief. Forgiving yourself means you can stop punishing yourself for what you’ve done and what you think you’ve done worng.

You don’t have to hold your mistakes against yourself any longer. You don’t have to deprive yourself of comfort, joy, love, and acceptance. It’s much easier to say, I made a mistake. This isn’t right for me. I don’t like this. This is wrong. Then forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself if you’ve done something wrong. Forgive yourself even if you haven’t done something wrong. Then see how good forgiveness feels. Forgive yourself and be free.

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More language of letting go

Respect your own timelines

“Do you have your “A” license yet?”

I was getting sick pf that question. Everyone I knew in skydiving was pushing through the course, meeting all their requirements, and hurrying to get their license. I knew from the beginning that it wouldn’t do me any good to push. This was a sport I needed to get right, and getting it right meant that I needed to learn at my own pace.

“It’s the journey, not the destination,” I kept telling myself as I watched my fellow sky divers progress, leaving me behind. “Everything happens in its own time.”

Finally, I came up with my response. It was November. I proudly announced, whenever asked about getting my license, that I didn’t plan on having it until June. I said it over, and over, and over. People left me alone. And I actually began to progress rapidly, after giving myself that much time.

In February, a series of events escalated my learning curve. I did my solo jumps, learned to pack my own parachute, and passed my written test. I had now met all the requirements for my “A” license. All that had to be done was submit the information and I’d have my license in hand.

After sending my material off, I waited an appropriate amount of time, then began checking the mail. Week after week, the license didn’t arrive. I waited patiently and continued checking. Toward the end of May, I went into the offices at the skydiving school. I told them I was concerned because my license hadn’t arrived yet.

They checked the records. “There was some confusion with the paperwork,” they said. “But it’s all been straightened out. You’ll have your license soon.”

When did that license arrive? In June, it came in the mail exactly when I said it would.

Some timing in life is out of our hands. Some isn’t. Just as you have power to say what, there’s a lot of power in saying when.

God, help synchronize my timing with yours. Show me if I’m pushing myself unduly or holding myself back.

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Fast-Forward Button
Moving in Real Time by Madisyn Taylor

We all want to push the fast-forward button, but in these times is where we find the juice stuff.

We all go through times when we wish we could press a fast-forward button and propel ourselves into the future and out of our current circumstances. Whether the situation we are facing is minor, or major such as the loss of a loved one, it is human nature to want to move away from pain and find comfort as soon as possible. Yet we all know deep down that we need to work through these experiences in a conscious fashion rather than bury our heads in the sand, because these are the times when we access important information about ourselves and life. The learning process may not be easy, but it is full of lessons that bring us wisdom we cannot find any other way.

The desire to press fast-forward can lead to escapism and denial, both of which only prolong our difficulties and in some cases make them worse. The more direct, clear, and courageous we are in the face of whatever we are dealing with, the more quickly we will move through the situation. Understanding this, we may begin to realize that trying to find the fast-forward button is really more akin to pressing pause. When we truly grasp that the only way out of any situation in which we find ourselves is to go through it, we stop looking for ways to escape and we start paying close attention to what is happening. We realize that we are exactly where we need to be. We remember that we are in this situation in order to learn something we need to know, and we can alleviate some of our pain with the awareness that there is a purpose to our suffering.

When you feel the urge to press the fast-forward button, remember that you are not alone; we all instinctively avoid pain. But in doing so, we often prolong our pain and delay important learning. As you choose to move forward in real time, know that in the long run, this is the least painful way to go. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When a person opens his eyes each morning and rises through sweaty nausea to face frightening reality with bones rattling and nerves screaming; when a person stumbles through the day in a pit of despair, wishing to die, but refusing to die; when a person gets up the next day and does it all over again — well, that takes guts. That takes a kind of real, basic survival courage, a courage that can be put to good use if that person even finds his or her way to The Program. That person has learned courage the hard way, and when that person comes to The Program, he or she will find new and beautiful ways to use it. Have I the courage to keep trying, one day at a time.

Today I Pray

May I put the “gut-to-survive” kind of courage left over from my drinking days into good use in The Program. If I was able to “hang on” enough to live through the miseries of my addiction, may I translate that same will to survive into my recovery program. May I use my courage in new, constructive ways.

Today I Will Remember

God preserve me to help carry out His purpose.

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One More Day

Patience and fortitude conquer all things.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Remember how, ass children, we waited for special occasions like birthdays and holidays? The waiting seemed endless. Adults would admonish us, “Have patience. Everything comes to those who wait.”

We were always more than surprised when they seemed to pass more quickly by staying busy, just a our parents had said it would. As adults, we hear that in many instances the only way to conquer a problem is to wait it out. We can do nothing else, for no matter how important the awaited event or the news is, we can no more shorten the time than we could wish a speedy arrival of our birthdays when we were young. Now as then, our only options are to have patience and to stay busy.

Now that I am not as well as before I am learning the true value of patience.

[bluidkiti]

May 14

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith. --Henry Ward Beecher
Once there was a boy who always looked on the bright side and always expected the best. He expected to like brussels sprouts before he had ever tasted them, for instance, and to like his teacher on the first day of school. Because he had such a sunny outlook on things, he was rarely disappointed.
But the boy's father thought he wasn't realistic, so one Christmas he decided to test him. On Christmas morning there were many presents, all but one small one were for the boy's brother. The brother opened his gifts with glee--a train set, a toy robot, a cowboy outfit, even his own TV.
Through all this, the boy smiled expectantly, confident the contents of his small box would equal the splendor of his brother's gifts. When it was his turn he ripped the box open to find only a pile of hay and some very smelly animal droppings.
To his father's astonishment, the boy clapped his hands with joy and ran immediately to the backyard. "Yippee!" he cried. "There must be a pony here somewhere!"
If I expect the best, just for today, what wondrous things might happen?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Often the wisdom of the body clarifies the despair of the spirit. --Marion Woodman
The unity of body and spirit becomes more real for us as we learn to listen to the messages our bodies give. Perhaps if we are frequently ill with a cold we are hiding from the fact that we are discouraged and in need of something for our spirit. We all face the problems at times of sleeplessness or backaches or allergies. These are not moral problems but problems that go with being human. When we are open to the spirit dimension, we look for the part that may express a message from our spiritual selves.
As we notice our physical selves today, we perhaps feel a tension in a muscle or a sensation somewhere that can speak to us about our deeper feelings. The message may not be clear at first. Spiritual messages are not quick answers, but if we listen to our questions a while, the answers may gradually become clear. Simply being open to the messages strengthens us for our tasks and deepens our spiritual self-awareness.
Today, I am learning to listen to the wisdom of my own body.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Miracles are instantaneous, they cannot be summoned, but come of themselves, usually at unlikely moments and to those who least expect them. --Katherine Anne Porter
Each of us has miraculously been summoned to the road to recovery. We no doubt felt hopeless many times. We no doubt pleaded, aimlessly and to no one in particular, for help. And then it came. Many of us probably do not know just how. But we can look around at one another and appreciate the miracle in our lives.
We still have days when the going is rough. Days when we feel twelve years old, unable to handle the responsibility of our lives, in need of a mother to nurture us and assure us that the pain will pass. We can look to a sponsor on those days. We can look for someone else to help. We can also reflect on how far we've come. Gratitude, in the midst of distress, for all the gifts of recovery eases the pain, the fear, the stress of the moment.
The miracles continue in my life. Every day offers me a miracle. Thankfulness today will help me see the miracles at work in my life and in the lives of other women on the road to recovery.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Honesty
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. --Step Five of Al-Anon
Talking openly and honestly to another person about ourselves, in an attitude that reflects self responsibility, is critical to recovery.
Its important to admit what we have done wrong to others and to ourselves. Verbalize our beliefs and our behaviors. Get our resentments and fears out in the open.
That's how we release our pain. That's how we release old beliefs and feelings. That's how we are set free. The more clear and specific we can be with our Higher Power, ourselves, and another person, the more quickly we will experience that freedom.
Step Five is an important part of the recovery process. For those of us who have learned to keep secrets from others, and ourselves it is not just a step - it is a leap toward becoming healthy.
Today I will remember that its okay to talk about the issues that bother me. It is by sharing my issues that I will grow beyond them. I will also remember that its okay to be selective about those in whom I confide. I can trust my instincts and choose someone who will not use my disclosures against me, and who will give me healthy feedback.


I have all the power I need today to say no to negative choices. The personal choices I make today are positive and healthy. I take responsibility for my life today. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Stay Open to Surprise

On my journey, I have often been surprised. Sometimes, pleasantly surprised.

Some of the places I was told to visit, places I was told would bring me joy,didn’t. Occasionally, they left me cold and confused. I would reach out to grasp something from an experience, only to find it wasn’t there, at least not for me. I was left wondering why it didn’t work, why it didn’t feel right for me, or why it didn’t do for me what others said it did for them.

Then other places, other experiences– the ones I had the least expectations of– surprised me. They riveted my soul, opened my heart, touched me, changed me in ways I didn’t expect. In a way that still surprise me.

To have certain expectations is natural. But stay open to surprise. Don’t let your dreams and expectations color what you know to be true for you. Trust your perceptions. Trust how a thing feels to you. If you expected something to work and it didn’t, trust that. If something has opened your heart and produced growth, love, and joy, trust that.

Don’t let your expectations or prejudices color and distort your experience. You may be pleasantly surprised to find joy where you least expected it.

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More language of letting go

Say when it’s time for a change

Eventually, enough is enough. We have held on to our broken dream until it has become a weight on our back, held on to our broken relationships until we cannot find the strength to give it another go, and clung to expectations, fears, worries, and chains until we can’t stand the strain any longer.

We’re at a crossroads. One path leads further into familiar territory. The other path leads to a breakthrough. What lies on the other side, we can’t see.

It’s the void, the unknown, the unknowable.

This isn’t death. It’s a rebirth, am awakening as profound as that moment when sobriety first takes hold of the lifelong drunk. Or when the confused codependent takes those first steps of self-care.

Are you willing to risk it? Have you reached the point, yet where enough is enough? Or will you take the other, more familiar path back to continue rehashing what you’ve already been through? Sometimes it’s easier to stay with our limitations and with what doesn’t work. At least then we know what to expect.

Take a chance. Try something new. Go ahead. Step on that new path, even though you’re not certain where it will lead. See! Right around the bend is a glowing light. The new path may not be any easier to walk than the old path, but this new road will lead to joy.

For now it’s enough to be willing to change.

To do that, step into the void.

God, help me see the things that I need to let go of to continue my growth. Help me walk away from what’s comfortable and known into the unknown and what I can’t see or predict.

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An Empowered Perspective
Importance of Forgiveness

by Madisyn Taylor

Learning to forgive is the greatest gift you can give to yourself.


When someone has hurt us, consciously or unconsciously, one of the most difficult things we have to face in resolving the situation is the act of forgiveness. Sometimes it feels like it’s easier not to forgive and that the answer is to simply cut the person in question out of our lives. In some cases, ending the relationship may be the right thing to do, but even in that case, we will only be free if we have truly forgiven. If we harbor bitterness in our hearts against anyone, we only hurt ourselves because we are the ones harboring the bitterness. Choosing to forgive is choosing to alleviate ourselves of that burden, choosing to be free of the past, and choosing not to perceive ourselves as victims.

One of the reasons that forgiveness can be so challenging is that we feel we are condoning the actions of the person who caused our suffering, but this is a misunderstanding of what is required. In order to forgive, we simply need to get to a place where we are ready to stop identifying ourselves with the suffering that was caused us. Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, and our forgiveness of others is an extension of our readiness to let go of our own pain. Getting to this point begins with fully accepting what has happened. Through this acceptance, we allow ourselves to feel and process our emotions.

It can be helpful to articulate our feelings in writing over a period of days or even weeks. As we allow ourselves to say what we need to say and ask for what we need to heal, we will find that this changes each day. It may be confusing, but it is a sign of progress. At times we may feel as if we are slogging uphill through dense mud and thick trees, getting nowhere. If we keep going, however, we will reach a summit and see clearly that we are finally free of the past. From here, we recognize that suffering comes from suffering, and compassion for those who have hurt us naturally arises, enhancing our new perspective. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“A very popular error — having the courage of one’s convictions; rather it is a matter of having the courage for an attack upon one’s convictions,” wrote Nietzsche. The Program is helping me to get rid of myh old ideas by sharing with others and working the Twelve Steps. Having made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself; having admitted too God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs; and having become entirely ready to have God remove all my defects of character — I will humbly ask Him to remove my shortcomings. Am I trying to follow The Program just as it is?

Today I Pray

I pray that I may continue to practice the Twelve Steps, over and over again, if need be. The Program has worked for hundreds and hundreds of recovering chemically dependent people the world over. It can work for me. May I pause regularly and check to see if I am really practicing The Program, as it is set forth.

Today I Will Remember

Step By Step. Day By Day.

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One More Day

A true friend is the most precious of all possessions and the one we take the least thought about acquiring.
– La Rouchefocauld

Even with honorable intentions we may, once in a while, threat those who care about us with less respect than they deserve. When a chronic illness has entered our life we can become obsessed with ourselves. It is difficult to be anything but self-centered at first because we are frightened and uncertain about the future.

It is then that we may alienate our closest friends with a boring daily litany of symptoms. Gradually we learn that illness is only one part of our lives and that dwelling on it serves no purpose and may damage our friendships. When our obsession with illness subsides, we become able once again to express concern and interest in others — the foundation of friendship.

My friendships are invaluable. I will let my friends know how much I cherish them.

[bluidkiti]

May 15

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
What is moral is what you feel good after. --Ernest Hemingway
Each of us has a little voice inside us that tells us what is good and what is bad. For instance, if our friends are making fun of someone who is different than we are, how do we feel if we join in the laughter? Do we feel more comfortable if we refuse to join in, or if we tell them their jokes are not funny?
As we grow, we learn more and more to trust the inner voice. Sometimes, in times of dark confusion, we have to listen very hard, but it is there to guide us. It is a beacon showing us the way out of the darkness of uncertainty. It is our guide to goodness.
Will I have the courage to listen to my inner voice today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If you can't fight and you can't flee, flow. --Robert Eliot
Too often, we men have lived with a single answer to every situation: win. We saw our friendships in competitive terms, so we couldn't let our guard down. We looked at life as a challenge to be conquered rather than something to be enjoyed. Therefore, our first impulse was to fight and come out a winner. Many of us have played life like a game with only winners and losers, and we have neglected the deeper meaning in our experiences. Living that way, many of us have felt
like losers.
We all experience moments when a situation is much more powerful than we are. Those moments feel like defeat unless we allow them to open a whole new viewpoint on our lives. When we can flow with a situation, which will have its own way anyhow, we have become more mature men. We can breathe a sigh of relief because much of the tension in our lives is reduced when we stop trying to conquer every moment and instead simply flow with it.
Today, I will practice playing a new game of flowing and thereby deepen my awareness of life.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Difficulties, opposition, criticism--these things are meant to be overcome, and there is a special joy in facing them and in coming out on top. It is only when there is nothing but praise that life loses its charm, and I begin to wonder what I should do about it. --Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit
To be alive means to experience difficulties, conflicts, challenges from many directions. What we do with adverse conditions both determines and is determined by who we are. Resistance, most of us have learned, heightens the adversity. Acceptance of the condition, trusting all the while the lesson it offers us is for our benefit, ensures that we'll "come out on top."
Difficulties are opportunities for advancement, for increased self-awareness, for self-fulfillment. So often we hear and remind one another, that we grow through pain. We can face any situation knowing we have the strength of the program to shore us up. Strangely, we need challenges in order to grow; without growth we wither. Happiness is the bounty for facing the momentarily unhappy conditions.
Any difficulty I meet today offers me a chance for even greater happiness; it guarantees my growth.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Taking Risks
Take a risk. Take a chance.
We do not have to indulge in obviously foolhardy or self-defeating risks, but we can allow ourselves to take positive risks in recovery. We cannot afford to keep ourselves paralyzed.
We do not have to keep ourselves stymied and trapped out of fear of making a mistake or failing. Naturally, we will make mistakes and fail from time to time. That's part of being fully alive. There are no guarantees. If we are waiting for guaranteed courses of action, we may spend much of our life waiting.
We do not have to shame ourselves or accept shame from anyone else, even those in recovery, for making mistakes. The goal of recovery is not to live life perfectly. The goal of recovery is to live, learn our lessons, and make overall progress.
Take a risk. Do not always wait for a guarantee. We don't have to listen to I told you so. Dust yourself off after a mistake, and then move on to the success.
God, help me begin to take healthy risks. Help me let go of my fear of failure, and help me let go of my fear of success. Help me let go of my fear of fully living my life, and help me start experiencing all parts of this journey.


It is exciting to know that the more I listen to the chattering that goes on in my mind,
the quicker I can identify the blocks to my positive and creative energy. Today I release all negativity so that I can be fully alive in the moment. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Lighten Up

The time for heaviness is past– heaviness of body, mind, spirit, and heart. That heaviness many of us felt was part of a time now gone. It’s time to lighten up.

“He was a different person,” she said. “Cheerful. Happy. Fun to be around. Things that used to bother him no longer did.” The woman was talking about her husband of only three years. She had dated him for a long time. Then after nearly dying of a heart attack, he was changed, transformed. They married and had the best three years of their lives before he died.

Those years were possible because he had learned to enjoy life, learned the value of love.

We don’t have to wait to open our hearts and enjoy life. We don’t have to wait to lighten up. We can do that now. We know that we can trust, that we can journey through each stage of our lives with open hearts, loving and living freely.

Let go of heaviness. Seek that which is light. Gravitate toward joy. Your soul and body will lead you, if only you will listen. Walk lightly. Speak and laugh lightly, as much as possible. Go lightly along your way.

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More language of letting go

Say when it’s time for plan B

I exited the plane, enjoyed my free fall, then checked my altimeter.

Pull time.

I deployed my parachute, waiting for that sweet whooshing sound, the one that meant I had a working canopy open. I didn’t hear the sound. I was leaning backwards and turning, instead of floating softly toward the ground. I didn’t have to do my eight-point canopy check. I knew immediately that something was wrong.

Ever since I had begun skydiving, I had been aware that although things mostly go well, sometimes they don’t. For a while, I dreaded the possibility that something wouldn’t be right with my canopy on opening, that I might have to cut it away. To deal with the fear and dread, I planned on having to use plan B– cutting away my main and pulling my reserve– each time I jumped out of the plane.

It was time to execute plan B.

Whoosh. What a sweet sound that was, as the reserve canopy opened over my head.

Most of us have plans and ideas about how we think an activity, or a relationship, or a job,will go. We marry, and we expect the relationship to flourish. We date someone, and we expect that person to be at least a decent sort of being. We begin a friendship with someone because something about that person has attracted us, drawn us in. We accept a job or work offer– or hire someone to work for us– and we have some idea how things will proceed. We hope things will work out well.

Life is like skydiving. There are no guarantees. And while we may do everything right and properly, sometimes things just don’t work out. While it isn’t healthy or advisable to run from every problem, sometimes we need to cut away major malfunctions.

It’s okay to have a plan. But take the time to develop a plan B,too. Know what you’re going to do if plan A doesn’t work out. Sometimes it’s easier to come up with an option or an emergency procedure if we think it through before the crisis occurs. Then we don’t have to panic. We can just institute the plan we rehearsed.

Have you reviewed your emergency procedures today?

God, give me the alertness to recognize when it’s time to cut away a malfunction. Give me the presence of mind to save my own life.

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It’s Never Too Late
Getting Back to What You Love

by Madisyn Taylor

Forgetting about what you love to do can be a form of self-sabotage - get back to what you love.


There are times in life when we are committed to pursuing our passions. Every molecule in our body is focused on doing what we love. At other times, necessity and responsibility dictate that we put our dreams aside and do what needs to be done. It is during these moments that we may choose to forget what it is that we love to do. There are many other reasons for why we may leave our passions behind. A hobby may lose its appeal once we’ve realize it will never turn into our dream job. Someone important to us may keep telling us that our passions are childish and unsuitable – until we finally believe them.

Forgetting about what you love to do can be a form of self-sabotage. If you can forget about your dreams, then you never have to risk failure. But just because we’ve decided to ignore our passions doesn’t mean they no longer exist. Nothing can fill the emptiness that remains in a space vacated by a passion that we have tossed aside. Besides, life is too short to stop doing what you love, and it is never too late to rediscover your favorite things. If you gave up playing an instrument, painting, drawing, spending time in nature, or any other activity or interest that you once loved to do, now may be the time to take up that passion again. If you don’t remember what it is that you used to be passionate about, you may want to think about the activities or interests that you used to love or the dreams that you always wished you could pursue.

You don’t have to neglect your responsibilities to pursue your passions, and you don’t have to neglect your commitments to do what you love. When you make an effort to incorporate your interests into your life, the fire within you ignites. You feel excited, inspired, and fed by the flames that are sparked by living your life with passion for what you love. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Looking back at those last desperate days before I cam to The Program, I remember more than anything the feelings of loneliness an isolation. Even when I was surrounded by people, including my own family, the sense of “aloneness” was overwhelming. Even when I tried to act sociable and wore the mask of cheerfulness, I usually felt a terrible anger of not belonging. Will I ever forget the mystery of “being alone in a crowd?”

Today I Pray

I thank God for the greatest single joy that has come to me outside of my sobriety — the feeling that I am no longer alone. May I not assume that loneliness will vanish overnight. May I know that there will be a lonely time during recovery, especially since I must pull away from my former junkie friends or drinking buddies. I pray that I may find new friends who are recovering. I thank God for the fellowship of The Program.

Today I Will Remember

I am not alone.

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One More Day

Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment, and specially on their children, than the unloved lives of the parents.
– Carl Jung

Sometimes chronic illness emphasizes flaws in our relationships. For whatever reason — greater honesty, less tolerance, or an increased need for openness — we struggle more often with conflicting feelings toward our loved ones, especially our parents.

It can be healing for us to review our childhood years without blaming or embellishment. We can look back and realize that our parents, too, were influenced by their childhood years. Did they receive the nurturing they needed? The love they deserved? Thinking about our parents in this way reminds us to live with forgiveness for ourselves and for everyone whose lives we touch.

I will allow myself to look back on my parents which forgiveness.