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12-08-2024, 05:35 AM | #16 |
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Daily Reflections PARTNERS IN RECOVERY . . . nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics . . . Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. . . . Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances! ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 89, 100 Doing the right things for the right reasons -- this is my way of controlling my selfishness and self-centeredness. I realize that my dependency on a Higher Power clears the way for peace of mind, happiness and sobriety. I pray each day that I will avoid my previous actions, so that I will be helpful to others. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The way of A.A. is the way of faith. We don't get the full benefit of the program until we surrender our lives to some Power greater than ourselves and trust that Power to give us the strength we need. There is no better way for us. We can get sober without it. We can stay sober for some time without it. But if we are going to truly live, we must take the way of faith in God. That is the path for us. We must follow it. Have I taken the way of faith? Meditation For The Day Life is not a search for happiness. Happiness is a by-product of living the right kind of a life, of doing the right thing. Do not search for happiness, search for right living and happiness will be your reward. Life is sometimes a march of duty during dull, dark days. But happiness will come again, as God's smile of recognition of your faithfulness. True happiness is always the by-product of a life well lived. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may not seek happiness but seek to do right. I pray that I may not seek pleasure so much as the things that bring true happiness. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Two Roads for the Oldtimer, p. 138 The founders of many groups ultimately divide into two classes known in A.A. slang as "elder statesmen" and "bleeding deacons." The elder statesman sees the wisdom of the group's decision to run itself and holds no resentment over his reduced status. His judgment, fortified by considerable experience, is sound; he is willing to sit quietly on the side lines patiently awaiting developments. The bleeding deacon is just as surely convinced that the group cannot get along without him. He constantly connives for re-election to office and continues to be consumed with self-pity. Nearly every oldtimer in our Society has gone through this process in some degree. Happily, most of them survive and live to become elder statesmen. They become the real and permanent leadership of A.A. 12 & 12, p. 135 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Others must not define us. Self-image The thoughtless practice of lumping people into categories can be destructive. Some of us still seethe with resentment over the roles we were given in our families while growing up. We realize that this way of being defined was a put-down. As adults living sober, we must now make sure that we define ourselves in ways that contribute to our success and happiness. If others attempt to attach labels to us, we must not accept this... at least not in our own minds. If others are attempting to define us in this way, we must always ask whether we've invited such labeling. Did your behavior somehow give them this impression? Did we mask our true feelings to present an image with which we don't really want to live? Whatever the answer, we must take charge of defining who we are and what we want to be. If I don't like the way people have been viewing me, I'll change the signals I've been sending out. Any signals I send should fit the way I really want to be known. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Charity sees the need, not the cause.--German proverb. Charity is not just giving money to good causes. Charity is having a heart that's ready to give. Charity is helping a friend at two in the morning. Charity is going early to the meeting to put on coffee without being asked. Service is how Twelve Step programs refer to "Charity". Service and charity are a lifestyle. We see a need, so we try to help. Our values and our heart will guide us in how we help. Service is a big part of our program. Service helps us think of others, not just of ourselves. We stop asking, "What's in it for me?" The act of helping others is what's in it for us. Sobriety is what's in it for us. Serenity is what's in it for us. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, You have given me many talents. Help me see how my talents can make the world a better place. Giving of myself is believing in You and myself. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list my talents and I'll think of ways I can use them to help others. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning To have someone who brings out the colors of life and whose very presence offers tranquility and contentment enriches my being and makes me grateful for the opportunity to share. --Kathleen Tierney Crilly Loneliness and isolation are familiar states to most of us. We often protected our insecurities by hiding out, believing that we'd survive if others didn't know who we really were. But we discovered that our insecurities multiplied. The remedy is people--talking to people, exposing our insecurities to them, risking, risking, risking. Sharing our mutual vulnerabilities helps us see how fully alike we are. Our most hated shortcoming is not unique, and that brings relief. It's so easy to feel utterly shamed in isolation. Hearing another woman say "I understand. I struggle with jealousy too," lifts the shame, the dread, the burden of silence. The program has taught us that secrets make us sick, and the longer we protect them, the greater are our struggles. The program promises fulfillment, serenity, achievement when we willingly share our lives. Each day we can lighten our burdens and help another lighten hers, too. I will be alert today to the needs of others. I will risk sharing. I will be a purveyor of tranquility. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition BILL'S STORY But my friend sat before me, and he made the point blank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself. His human will had failed. Doctors had pronounced him incurable. Society was about to lock him up. Like myself, he had admitted complete defeat. Then he had, in effect, been raised from the dead, suddenly taken from the scrap heap to a level of life better than the best he had ever known! p. 11 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Because I'm An Alcoholic This drinker finally found the answer to her nagging question, "Why?" I began to drink daily and rationalized that in France, of course, you have to have wine with meals. And after the dinner, after the wine, then there were liqueurs. My journals and letters bear witness in the deterioration of my handwriting as the evening wore on, drinking as I wrote. It was there too that I first became dependent on alcohol. After work, on the way to the Alliance Francaise for classes, I'd stop at a bistro for a glass of cognac to give me courage to get me there--my need being greater than the embarrassment of being a woman drinking alone in the 1950s. One vacation, I went to visit friends in Scotland, traveling slowly through the English and Welsh countryside. The bottles of cognac and Benedictine I'd brought as gifts for them I drank in little hotel rooms miles before I got there. As long as it lasted, I could stay out of the pubs. pp. 339-340 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Four - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." We also clutch at another wonderful excuse for avoiding an inventory. Our present anxieties and troubles, we cry, are caused by the behavior of other people--people who really need a moral inventory. We firmly believe that if only they'd treat us better, we'd be all right. Therefore we think our indignation is justified and reasonable--that our resentments are the "right kind." We aren't the guilty ones. They are! pp. 45-46 ************************************************** ********* The secret of what life's all about, Was answered by the sages: Life's about one day at a time, No matter what your age is. --Robert Half "In discussing an approach to bringing about positive changes within oneself, learning is only the first step. There are other factors as well: conviction, determination, action and effort." --Dalai Lama "If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine." --Morris West "It is a defining moment when someone in authority finally reaches the conclusion that leadership is not about using people ~ it's about serving them." --Neil Eskelin "Until you have learned to be tolerant with those who do not always agree with you; until you have cultivated the habit of saying some kind word of those whom you do not admire; until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy." --Napoleon Hill "Everyone Smiles in the same language." --Proverb "Pain comes like the weather, but joy is a choice." --Rodney Crowell, Singer, Songwriter God can bring showers of blessing out of storms of adversity. --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation GENEROSITY "Liberty is the one thing you can't have unless you give it to others." -- William Allen White Spirituality is rooted in a respect for self that demands an equal respect for others. I can expect to be treated with dignity if I afford dignity to others. In the one is the key to the many. For years I lived a compulsive life that only made me self-centered and spoiled, and it didn't work! I was unhappy, lonely and resentful. Today I find that the more I give to others the more I receive. Less is more. In this sense it is much easier to be good than bad because "goodness" works! Spirit of generosity, may I always reflect the gratitude that gives. ************************************************** ********* "I trust in the steadfast love of God forever and ever." Psalm 52:8 "The LORD protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me." Psalm 116:6 "Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content" 1 Timothy 6:6-8 "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Do that which is right and learn to do it for the right reason. Lord, give us strength as we stand up to temptation and spiritual power as we resist the pressures and stresses that bear down on us. You cannot ask too much if you use your blessings ceaselessly. Lord, help me to reflect on and live in Your spirit. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Where There's Smoke... "Complacency is the enemy of members with substantial clean time. If we remain complacent for long, the recovery process ceases." Basic Text pg. 80 Recognizing complacency in our recovery is like seeing smoke in a room. The "smoke" thickens when our meeting attendance drops, contact with newcomers decreases, or relations with our sponsor aren't maintained. With continued complacency; we won't be able to see through the smoke to find our way out. Only our immediate response will prevent an inferno. We must learn to recognize the smoke of complacency. In NA, we have all the help We need to do that. We need to spend time with other recovering addicts because they may detect our complacency before we do. Newcomers will remind us of how painful active addiction can be. Our sponsor will help us remain focused, and recovery literature kept in easy reach can be used to extinguish the small flare-ups that happen from time to time. Regular participation in our recovery will surely enable us to see that wisp of smoke long before it becomes a major inferno. Just for today: I will participate in the full range of my recovery; My commitment to NA is just as strong today as it was in the beginning of my recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Because you're not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth, you are. --Madeleine L'Engle Sometimes we expect far too much of the people around us, and because no one can ever live up to those expectations, we are almost always disappointed. But wouldn't it be better if we just let go, and let people be who they are? Then we'd be able to see them as they are--with all their beauty and goodness in which we take joy, and with all their faults which we can also see in ourselves. When we have put someone up on a pedestal, sculpturing them to fit our needs and desires by smoothing out the rough edges and creating new curves here and there, we cannot see the real person underneath our work. All we see is the illusion we have created. That is denying the person's real identity and is disrespectful. It's much better for our friends and for ourselves if we drop our expectations and illusions, and accept them all just the way they are. What unfair expectations do I have of others? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart And try to love the questions themselves. --Rainer Maria Rilke Patience with ourselves may be the first step toward patience with others. In getting to know ourselves, we don't find what we have expected. If we did, we would only be proving what we already knew. Sometimes growth comes in surprising ways. It may be in acceptance and learning to love what is unsettled or unclear within. Some of us men want to rush through our learning and push our growth too fast. Others of us want to have a strong sense of confidence in our relationships with others but always feel vulnerable. Some wonder why their fears suddenly rise without warning. Another longs to know why certain things happened to him in his youth. Our growth is not our invention. When answers come, they are gifts, and we do not control them. In part, self-acceptance is to say, "Yes, I am a person with this question, this unsettled feeling. Being alive is to be actively engaged in knowing and loving my questions even when I find no answer." God, grant me the peace that comes with loving the unfinished part of me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. To have someone who brings out the colors of life and whose very presence offers tranquility and contentment enriches my being and makes me grateful for the opportunity to share. --Kathleen Tierney Crilly Loneliness and isolation are familiar states to most of us. We often protected our insecurities by hiding out, believing that we'd survive if others didn't know who we really were. But we discovered that our insecurities multiplied. The remedy is people--talking to people, exposing our insecurities to them, risking, risking, risking. Sharing our mutual vulnerabilities helps us see how fully alike we are. Our most hated shortcoming is not unique, and that brings relief. It's so easy to feel utterly shamed in isolation. Hearing another woman say "I understand. I struggle with jealousy too," lifts the shame, the dread, the burden of silence. The program has taught us that secrets make us sick, and the longer we protect them, the greater are our struggles. The program promises fulfillment, serenity, achievement when we willingly share our lives. Each day we can lighten our burdens and help another lighten hers, too. I will be alert today to the needs of others. I will risk sharing. I will be a purveyor of tranquility. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Taking Care of Ourselves Emotionally What does it mean to take care of myself emotionally? I recognize when I'm feeling angry, and I accept that feeling without shame or blame. I recognize when I'm feeling hurt, and I accept those feelings without attempting to punish the source of my pain. I recognize and feel fear when that emotion presents itself. I allow myself to feel happiness, joy, and love when those emotions are available. Taking care of myself means I've made a decision that it's okay to feel. Taking care of my emotions means I allow myself to stay with the feeling until it's time to release it and go on to the next one. I recognize that sometimes my feelings can help point me toward reality, but sometimes my feelings are deceptive. They are important, but I do not have to let them control me. I can feel, and think too. I talk to people about my feelings when that's appropriate and safe. I reach out for help or guidance if I get stuck in a particular emotion. I'm open to the lessons my emotions may be trying to teach me. After I feel, accept, and release the feeling, I ask myself what it is I want or need to do to take care of myself. Taking care of myself emotionally means I value, treasure, explore, and cherish the emotional part of myself. Today, I will take care of myself emotionally. I will be open to, and accepting of, the emotional part of myself and other people. I will strive for balance by combining emotions with reason, but I will not allow intellect to push the emotional part of myself away. Whatever I am thinking right now is creating how I am feeling. I turn to positive and loving thoughts because I choose to feel good. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Be an Angel I often imagine that we keep the angels very busy. They tell us to turn here or there, warn us of dangers, say Listen! and Look! They tell us things will be okay, and they’re sorry we hurt. Angels in our lives encourage us to hope, dream, dare, and trust. They point out beautiful sights. They shine a light on our path, so we know where to step next. Most of us are not as sure of ourselves as we’d like others to think. We need guidance, faith, and hope. We need to know we’re on track and that someone cares. We need the angels to help us. The angels in our lives give us a kind word, share a kind thought, offer a helping hand and a warm smile. Their words empower and comfort us. Their touch heals, their loving looks warm our hearts. They radiate love and faith. “I’ve learned it’s easy to be loving,” one man said. “What takes work is to be kind.” Make it easier for the angels, and easier for others. Practice being loving and kind. Be an angel,too. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Now is a powerful time “The entire skydive is great,” a friend said to me. “But one of my favorite moments is when we open the door, and I can see the whole sky spread out in front of me.” I remember that feeling the day I was given the choice to recover from chemical dependency or go to jail, the day I got my frist writing job, the day my daughter gave birth to her first child. It’s that split second when now freezes and stretches out into infinity. For just a moment all that has been and all that might be crown into a single arc in time and the power of the universe rushes through us. Get a little of that feeling every day just to remind yourself of the power and potential of now. Sure, we can envision our rosy future after the big project pays off, or when we’ve got fifteen years of sobriety, or after we reach retirement. But what about that moment when the minister pronounces you husband and wife, or the moment after you tell your parents you’re gay, or the day you walk out on someone, or the day someone walks out on you? The power isn’t out there somewhere in the distant horizon. Feel the rush of the moment. It really is your life. You have all the power you need, right now. God, help me tap into the rush of power available to me right here and right now. *************************************** Discovering True Selves Soul Seeing When we want to see deeply into the heart and mind of another person, soul seeing, also called soul gazing, allows us to see their soul. The soul is the purest expression of an individual and is not bound by physical forms or fleeting emotions. Through a simple art that involves looking deeply into a partner’s eyes, soul seeing can show you a person’s inner beauty that you might otherwise miss. It is possible for someone who appears cold to have a warm, giving, nurturing soul or someone of average appearance to have a beautiful soul. Soul seeing is a way of looking past shapes, sizes, attitudes, and behavior to see the real individual that lies beneath the surface. It allows you to see the true essence of another person, the radiance of their being, and their spirit within. Soul seeing is accomplished by sitting face to face with another person. It is helpful to first state your intention before you begin. As you stare softly into each other’s eyes without stopping to look away, each of your souls is revealed to the other. Try not to look for anything in particular or seek traits you’re hoping to find. Simply let the other person’s soul reveal itself to you. After twenty minutes have passed, stay where you are and share a period of silent reflection with your partner for two minutes. You may have suddenly seen your partner’s inner nature as clearly as a bright day, or you may need to meditate on your experience before you feel comfortable with your impressions. Either way, soul seeing can be a wonderfully intimate and shared experience. So little of who each of us is can be captured by our appearance or personality. The thoughts, fears, desires, and longings that are part of what makes us whole are not always written across our faces. Often, the most surprising thing you may learn while soul seeing is that while you and the other person may appear on the surface to be quite different, you actually share many of the same inner qualities. And then there is the unique beauty that resides within that is longing to be revealed to another who is willing to see. Soul seeing can help you experience the people in your life as they truly are, beyond any mental barriers or physical limitations. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Sometimes, on those bad days we all have from time to time, it almost seems that God doesn’t want us to be happy here on earth and, for those of us who believe in an afterlife, that He demands pain and suffering in this life as the price of happiness in the next. The Program teaches me that just the opposite is the case. God wants me to be happy right here on earth — right now. When I allow Him to, He will even point out the way. Do I sometimes stubbornly refuse to look where God is pointing? Today I Pray I pray that I am not playing the perennial sufferer, dragging around in the boots of tragedy and acting as if suffering is the only ticket to heaven. May I look around, at the goodness and greenery of earth, which is testimony enough that our life here is meant to be more than just one pitfall after another. Man no misconception of God as a master trapper, waiting in every thicket to snare us, distort my relationship with a loving, forgiving Higher Power. Today I Will Remember There is more to life than suffering. *************************************** One More Day It is well that there is no one without a fault, for he would not have a friend in the world. – William Hazlitt As youngsters we may have had doubts, just as we do now, about making new friends. We imposed unwritten rules upon ourselves as we sought out new friends. Will they like me? How do I approach them? Will we have enough to talk about? These questions are again in our minds as we approach old and new relationships. We might worry that since we aren’t always feeling happy and well, our friends is not usually true, but it may take us a little while to pull away from fear and self-doubt and to make real efforts at making and maintaining our friendships. Today, I will let my friends know just how important they are to me. ************************************ Food For Thought Getting Well Our recovery is always in process; it is never completed. If we think for a minute that we have conquered our disease and no longer have to consider it that is the time when we are in danger of slipping. Getting well is what we will be doing for the rest of our lives. Fortunately, we have guidelines and a fellowship to support us. We are not required to think about our disease twenty-four hours a day. We do need to remember it when thoughts of food and eating arise. We also need to remember it when we find ourselves thinking the kind of thoughts or feeling the moods, which led to binges in the past. Getting well is an adventure. We have moved out of the repetitious rut of past habits and are reaching into the unknown. There are times when we are anxious and fearful that we will not be able to make it. We are not alone. There is a Higher Power that guides us and an organization of friends who sustain us. The process of getting well is a privilege and a gift. Thank You for the process of getting well. ***************************************** One Day At A Time COURAGE "Courage is the power to let go of the familiar." Raymond Linquist (For many years, the pastor at the Hollywood Presbyterian Church in Hollywood, California) A sponsor once asked me what I had against feeling good. I had no answer. I now see that in my sickness and ignorance I hung onto the familiar, what I perceived to be truth. Fear kept me from trying something new until I hurt bad enough to beg God for the courage to try a different way. I am amazed at how long I put up with a miserable existence, not even recognizing my fear of change. I understand now that, although physically full-grown, I am spiritually still growing and becoming. One Day at a Time . . . Do I have the courage to change? To even look at change? Jeremiah ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that is it fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die. - Pg. 66 - How It Works Hour To Hour - Book - Quote To insist stubbornly on holding to old relationships, when they are basically drug oriented relationships is sabotaging our recovery process. Is it not our disease finding a 'good' excuse to keep us close to drugs? May I be able to hear the suggestions of those who work with me. May I listen in this next hour and follow the suggestions. Learning from Life There are no 'buts' today. I am what I am, others are what they are, life is what it is. I will not parenthesize my growth with a 'but' or hold back my forward-moving spirit with second-guesses. For today, I am living with things as they are. I am exactly where I am meant to be, learning what I need to learn. All I need do is move through situations with willingness to learn and openness to feel. When feelings are brought up, I can accept them as what is happening within me - no need to resist and analyze them. Transformation will happen in the moving through and the acceptance of them. I trust that my life is unfolding in such a way that what I need to learn will be before me. I am willing to learn. I see the 'table prepared.' - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote A temper will get us into trouble and pride will keep us there. I can't save my face and my butt at the same time. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book With the first three steps, you get the courage to work the rest. When you work the rest, you get rid of the garbage so you can work the first three. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I know that it does not matter if I cannot see the end of the road. I have absolute faith and trust that I am walking in the right direction and that I am being guided along the way. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Success consists of getting up one more time than you fall. - Anon
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12-08-2024, 05:36 AM | #17 |
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December 17
Daily Reflections A PRICELESS REWARD . . . . work with other alcoholics. . . . It works when other activities fail. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 89 "Life will take on a new meaning," as the Big Book says (p. 89) This promise has helped me to avoid self-seeking and self-pity. To watch others grow in this wonderful program, to see them improve the quality of their lives, is a priceless reward for my effort to help others. Self-examination is yet another reward for an ongoing recovery, as are serenity, peace and contentment. The energy derived from seeing others on a successful path, of sharing with them the joys of the journey, gives to my life a new meaning. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The way of faith is of course not confined to A.A. It is the way for everybody who wants to really live. But many people can go through life without much of it. Many are doing so, to their own sorrow. The world is full of lack of faith. Many people have lost confidence in any meaning in the universe. Many are wondering if it has any meaning at all. Many are at loose ends. Life has no goal for many. They are strangers in the land. They are not at home. But for us in A.A. the way of faith is the way of life. We have proved by our past lives that we could not live without it. Do I think I could live happily without faith? Meditation For The Day "He maketh His sun rise on the evil and the good, and sends the rain on the just and the unjust." God does not interfere with the working of natural laws. The laws of nature are unchangeable, otherwise we could not depend on them. As far as natural laws are concerned, God makes no distinction between good and bad people. Sickness or death may strike anywhere. But spiritual laws are also made to be obeyed. On our choice of good or evil depends whether we go upward to true success and victory in life or downward to loss and defeat. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may choose today the way of the spiritual life. I pray that I may live today with faith and hope and love. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It WHEN CONFLICTS MOUNT, p. 289 Sometimes I would be forced to look at situations where I was doing badly. Right away, the search for excuses would become frantic. "These," I would exclaim, "are really a good man's faults." When that pet gadget broke apart, I would think, "Well, if those people would only treat me right, I wouldn't have to behave the way I do." Next was this: "God well knows that I do have awful compulsions. I just can't get over this one. So He will have to release me." At last came the time when I would shout, "This, I positively will not do! I won't even try." Of course, my conflicts went right on mounting, because I was simply loaded with excuses, refusals, and outright rebellion. ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Looking For Protectors Self-Reliance Many of us managed to survive while drinking by finding protectors we could lean on. Sometimes the protector wasn't a very strong person---only someone who was willing to support us in some way. A protector could even be a person who gave us flattery or companionship when we wanted it. Such alliances are usually unhealthy and have no lasting place in society. We cannot depend on protectors who will eventually betray us or fail us through no fault of their own. In sobriety, we must grow into a satisfactory form of self-reliance. This is not reliance on our own resources; rather, it is really a way of relying on our Higher Power, the group, our sponsors, and the higher understanding we've found in the program. If we're still looking for people willing to protect us, we need more growth in sobriety. I've been given tools for understanding myself and my life. I can use those tools effectively as I go through the day. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The rose and the thorn, and sorrow and gladness are linked together. --Saadi. When we were drinking and drugging, we didn't have to deal much with feelings. We turned them off. Then, when we let go of the alcohol and other drugs, we started to come back to life. Now--we have feelings again! But, even now, in recovery, we're scared of too much happiness. It's true--we don't want sadness and pain at all. Yet, feelings--the good and the bad--keep on coming. And we have to handle them. We are learning to handle our feelings. We're getting strong enough to deal with them. With the help of our friends in the program, and our Higher Power, we're ready for life. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I want to be fully alive, but I'm a little scared. Help me know what to do with my feelings today. Action for the Day: Today, I'll be open to feelings. I'll enjoy my good feelings and share them. I'll ask for help with hard feelings by praying, and by calling my sponsor. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you. --Madeline Bridge We do reap, in some measure, at some time, what we sow. Our respect for others will result in kind. Our love expressed will return tenfold. The kindness we greet others with will ease their relations with us. We get from others what we give, if not at this time and place, at another. We can be certain that our best efforts toward others do not go unnoticed. And we can measure our due by what we give. A major element of our recovery is the focus we place on our behavior, the seriousness with which we tackle our inventories. We can look at ourselves and how we reach out and act toward others; it is a far cry from where we were before entering this program. Most of us obsessed on "What he did to me," or "What she said." And then returned their actions in kind. How thrilling is the knowledge that we can invite loving behavior by giving it! We have a great deal of control over the ebb and flow of our lives. In every instance we can control, our behavior. Thus never should we be surprised about the conditions of our lives. What goes around comes around. I will look for the opportunities to be kind and feel the results. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition BILL'S STORY Had this power originated in him? Obviously it had not. There had been no more power in him than there was in me at that minute; and this was none at all. That floored me. It began to look as though religious people were right after all. Here was something at work in a human heart which had done the impossible. My ideas about miracles were drastically revised right then. Never mind the musty past; here sat a miracle directly across the kitchen table. He shouted great tidings. p. 11 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Because I'm An Alcoholic This drinker finally found the answer to her nagging question, "Why?" Europe hadn't proved to be the change that would repair my life, and I started west again. It was in Cambridge that I pronounced my first resolutions about cutting down--New Year's resolutions I recycled for a dozen years while my drinking and my life kept getting worse. Alcohol had enslaved me. I was in bondage to it, although I kept assuring myself that drinking was a pleasure and a choice. p. 340 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Four - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." At this stage of the inventory proceedings, our sponsors come to the rescue. They can do this, for they are the carriers of A.A.'s tested experience with Step Four. They comfort the melancholy one by first showing him that his case is not strange or different, that his character defects are probably not more numerous or worse than those of anyone else in A.A. This the sponsor promptly proves by talking freely and easily, and without exhibitionism, about his own defects, past and present. This calm, yet realistic, stocktaking is immensely reassuring. The sponsor probably points out that the newcomer has some assets which can be noted along with his liabilities. This tends to clear away morbidity and encourage balance. As soon as he begins to be more objective, the newcomer can fearlessly, rather than fearfully, look at his own defects. p. 46 ************************************************** ********* "Enthusiastic people experience life from the inside out." --Nido Qubein There are two days about which nobody should ever worry, and these are yesterday and tomorrow. --Robert J. Burdette What people really need is a good listening-to. --Mary Lou Casey When I have done all the footwork I know to do and things are still not working out, I know today that it is time to meditate. I have faith that my answer is still to come. --Ruth Fishel No one else's opinion about me can determine my worth. --Mary Manin Morrissey "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." --Melody Beattie ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation FEAR "Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood." -- Marie Curie God is on my side. Today I really believe and understand this truth, and it helps me cope with my fears. Now I am beginning to understand that I was the only real enemy in my life. With this new understanding of God I have the power of choice back in my life. I do not have to stay in a sick process. I do not need sick and negative people in my life. I do not have to place myself in destructive relationships or in fearful situations. God is alive in my life and I am discovering the spiritual power of choice. God, give me the courage to confront my fear and be willing to make changes in my life. ************************************************** ********* "Behold now is the accepted time, behold now is the day of salvation." 2 Corinthians 6:2 "Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Proverbs 30:5 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Treat your family as you would treat a best friend. Lord, help me to treasure my family with all of their imperfections as well as my own and cherish the time we have together. Let nothing that others do alter how you treat them. Lord, may I treat all with love and consideration. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Service Motives "Everything that occurs in the course of NA service must be motivated by the desire to more successfully carry the message of recovery to the addict who still suffers." Basic Text pg. xvi Our motives are often a surprise to us. In our early days of recovery, they were almost always a surprise! We've learned to check our motives through prayer, meditation, the steps, and talking to our sponsor or other addicts. When we find ourselves with an especially strong urge to do or have something, it's particularly important to check our motives to find out what we really want. In early recovery, many of us throw ourselves into service with great fervor before we have started the regular practice of motive-checking. It takes awhile before we become aware of the real reasons for our zeal. We may want to impress others, show off our talents, or be recognized and important. Now, these desires may not be harmful in another setting, expressed through another outlet. In NA service, however, they can do serious damage. When we decide to serve NA, we make a decision to help addicts find and maintain recovery. We have to carefully check our motives in service, remembering that it's much easier to frighten away using addicts than to convince them to stay. When we show them game-playing, manipulation, or pomposity, we present an unattractive picture of recovery; However, the unselfish desire to serve others creates an atmosphere that is attractive to the addict who still suffers. Just for today: I will check my motives for the true spirit of service. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain loving one another. --Erma Bombeck The most precious time we will ever have we give away by doing volunteer chores to help others get more out of life. There is no material wage for this kind of work, but a host of emotional rewards. The height of volunteer giving is doing an act of kindness or love so quietly that none but ourselves will ever know we had a part in it. What great humility this can bring to us, who live in a world where selfish people often insist on credit for all their deeds--often things they had nothing to do with. All we need do is think of all we have received without deserving it or asking for it. By taking part in the giving end of life, we find the true wealth of our own generosity. What secret gift can I give today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The purpose of man's life is not happiness but worthiness. --Felix Adler When we pursue happiness as a goal for its own sake, we usually reach the opposite point of emptiness. Feeling happy is a by-product of other life experiences. Happiness comes and goes. We welcome it but cannot capture and hold it, nor can we create a recipe for achieving happiness. We will lead far more successful lives pursuing other values which we do have control over, such as honesty, respect for others and ourselves, seeking loving relationships, and making a contribution to the well being of others. We can accept unhappiness and difficulties without struggle when we know we are doing something that has greater meaning. Our Eleventh Step tells us we pray only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out. This helps us focus on God's purpose for us. We can have an inner sense of joy knowing we are leading meaningful lives, even when we aren't having a particularly happy day. I will seek the goals that make my life worthwhile and welcome happiness when it comes. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you. --Madeline Bridge We do reap, in some measure, at some time, what we sow. Our respect for others will result in kind. Our love expressed will return tenfold. The kindness we greet others with will ease their relations with us. We get from others what we give, if not at this time and place, at another. We can be certain that our best efforts toward others do not go unnoticed. And we can measure our due by what we give. A major element of our recovery is the focus we place on our behavior, the seriousness with which we tackle our inventories. We can look at ourselves and how we reach out and act toward others; it is a far cry from where we were before entering this program. Most of us obsessed on "What he did to me," or "What she said." And then returned their actions in kind. How thrilling is the knowledge that we can invite loving behavior by giving it! We have a great deal of control over the ebb and flow of our lives. In every instance we can control, our behavior. Thus never should we be surprised about the conditions of our lives. What goes around comes around. I will look for the opportunities to be kind and feel the results. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Nurturing Ourselves Many of us have been so deprived of nurturing that we think it's silly or self-indulgent. Nurturing is neither silly nor self-indulgent; it's how we show love for ourselves. That's what we're striving for in recovery - a loving relationship with ourselves that works, so we can have loving relationships with others that work. When we hurt, we ask ourselves what we need to help us feel better. When we feel alone, we reach out to someone safe. Without feeling that we are a burden, we allow that person to be there for us. We rest when we're tired; eat when we're hungry; have fun or relax when our spirits need a lift. Nurturing means giving ourselves gifts - a trip to the beauty salon or barbershop, a massage, a book, a new jacket, or a new suit or dress. It means a long, hot bath to forget about our problems and the world for a few moments when that would feel good. We learn to be gentle with ourselves and to open up to the nurturing that others have to offer us. As part of nurturing ourselves, we allow ourselves to give and receive positive touch - touch that feels appropriate to us, touch that is safe. We reject touch that doesn't feel good or safe and is not positive. We learn to give ourselves what we need in a gentle, loving, compassionate way. We do this with the understanding it will not make us lazy, spoiled, self centered, or narcissistic. Nurtured people are effective in their work and in their relationships. We will learn to feel loved by ourselves so much that we can truly love others and let them love us. Today, I will nurture myself. I will also be open to the nurturing that I can give to others and receive from them. When I have done all the footwork I know to do and things are still not working out, I know today that it is time to meditate. I have faith that my answer is still to come. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Don’t Complicate Things The simple, clear answer to life’s situations can be easily found in the heart. Don’t limit its wisdom to just one or two areas; let it guide you through all of your life. Are you struggling with finances? Feeling overwhelmed by taxes? Not certain what to do to help someone you love? Do you have a problem with a friend? Has a business relationship gotten sticky, maybe hopelessly adversarial? Are you at war with the person you love? Problems with children? Problems with parents? A landlord who just won’t get the job done? All of these areas, and more, can be brought to your heart. Do you need to find a new hobby? Are you stuck on a project? Do you need an idea, some creative inspiration? Do you need a new place to live, or a way to fix your current home? Take it all back to your heart. Calm your mind. Let go. Get quiet. You don’t have to know the plan. Just put out the question, then listen to your inner voice. It will guide you through any maze you’ve been lost in. Don’t complicate things or try to figure it all out. The answer is simple: look in your heart. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Take another look at your world Oh, the glory of the ordinary! I wake up, roll over, and look out the sliding glass door at the sun rising over the distant layers of hills. Today will be a day of errands. We’re out of milk, so we’ll make a run to the grocery store, probably returning home with too much chocolate and no milk. The pictures from the last trip needed to be dropped off. We have a flying lesson at 2:00. Then it will be supper at the Lodge with our friend Andy. It’ll probably be something simple, like burgers on the grill. An ordinary day. I remember a time when the ordinary meant searching for another high, searching for money to get drugs. I’m grateful for the ordinary life that I lead. “When we have a toothache, we know that not having a toothache is happiness. But later, when we don’t have a toothache, we don’t treasure our non-toothache,,” Thich Nhat Hanh gently reminds us in his book The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching. Take another look at your ordinary world. See how glorious it is. *************************************** Sharing Your Gifts Gift Giveaway by Madisyn Taylor We all know how to give the gift of a present, but it is more important to share your gifts that you were born with. When the holidays come around, most of us join the masses in shopping for gifts, wrapping them, and giving them away. Once we are in the mind-set that this is what we are going to do, we don’t hold back or struggle with the process. We simply give the presents we have acquired, letting them go in the awareness that they were never ours anyway. If we could apply some of this unquestioning generosity with our own inner resources and gifts, we might be able to give of ourselves more freely. In truth, our gifts only make sense when we give them away. Imagine carefully procured and wrapped presents that remain in the house of the giver, never getting to the people who were meant to have them. If we hold back, not knowing quite when to share our gifts, we all lose. Ironically, the more we give of ourselves, the more we have to offer. For example, if we have a talent for singing but we hold it back, we sing less and have less experience. On the other hand, if we offer the gift of our voice to the world at every opportunity, our talent develops and becomes still greater, and we have that much more to give. How we present our gifts can be likened to wrapping paper and ribbons. When we truly value what we have to offer, our presentation honors what lies inside it. We speak well of our talents and introduce them with confidence and panache. Like a performer who chooses carefully what to wear and how to set the stage, we provide an environment that complements and enhances what we have to offer. Far from being superficial, a beautiful presentation is as much a part of the energy of gift giving as the gift itself. All these things together—the gift, the presentation, and the giving away—make up the joyful experience of bestowing our offerings upon the world. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day More and more these days, as I progress in my recovery, I seem to do a lot of listening — quietly waiting to hear God’s unmistakable voice within me. Prayer is becoming a two-way street — of seeking and listening, of searching and finding. A favorite bit of Scripture for me is, “Be still and know that I am God.” Do I pay quiet and loving attention to Him, ever more confident of an enlightened knowledge of His will for me? Today I Pray As I seek to know my Higher Power, may I learn the best ways — for me — to reach and hear Him. May I begin to feel prayer, not just listening to the sound of my own verbalizing. May I feel the sharp outlines of my humanness fading as His Godliness becomes a part of me. May I feel that I am one with Him. Today I will Remember Feel the stillness of God. *************************************** One More Day Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light. – Jean Giraudoux Many people — not just the chronically ill — experience a sense of sadness or longing at this time of year. Perhaps the season stirs memories of carefree, happier times or, instead, of holidays long ago that were unhappy and without fantasy. Knowing that this sadness is not uncommon can be comforting and so is knowing we can resist sadness. If we’re unhappy with old traditions, we can introduce new ones. If we’ve isolated ourselves, we can join in some group activities. And if we’re tired, we can give ourselves permission to say no and to have time alone. We might also examine our expectations and remember that special days are not copies of earlier ones. Each is new. In the holidays ahead, I will continue to do the things that have been special. I will abandon any pattern that gives me no joy. ************************************ Food For Thought Remembering We remember what we were like before we joined OA. We remember the confusion and despair, which threatened to overwhelm us. We remember the agony of eating binges which started so innocently and which ended in such pain. As we recover from compulsive overeating, we remember events from the past in a new light. We see how our disease contributed to seemingly unrelated problems. We recognize feelings, which we were not aware of at the time. We understand the real reasons for some of our strange actions and mysterious fears. At the same time that it keeps us anchored in the present, abstinence helps us to understand the past. Integrating our memories gives us strength and confidence for the future. What we always need to remember is that we are compulsive overeaters still, no matter how long we have abstained. Remembering this fact protects us from allowing our disease to become active again. Today, I remember I am a compulsive overeaten. ***************************************** One Day At A Time PEACE "We cannot find peace if we are afraid of the windstorms of life." Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (Psychiatrist and author of 'On Death and Dying') My life always seemed so filled with difficulty. I seemed to have more than my fair share of traumas and losses. Why was I always being tested like this? It just didn't seem fair. I was so wrapped up in myself and the unfairness of my difficult life that I couldn't see that each of these harsh experiences had been opportunities for growth. Instead of bemoaning my fate and blaming people or situations for what seemed to me to be the cause of the current difficulty, I never looked at what part I had played in the whole situation, or the lessons I could learn from each of these experiences. It has often been said that God doesn't give us more than we can cope with. What I realized later, once I'd come into the program, was that each of these experiences had been a unique learning opportunity for me; they were a chance to grow and mature. I had been too stuck in self-pity and blame that I hadn't seen the wonderful gifts that I was being given with each new life experience. When I was able to open myself up fully to the lessons that I could learn from life, I became a whole person. It was then that the promises of the program begin to be fulfilled in my life, and I began to know serenity and peace. One Day at a Time . . . I will look for what lesson my Higher Power wants me to learn from life. I am then able to grow and change, and by doing so, I will come to know serenity and peace. Sharon S. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The terms 'spiritual experience' and 'spiritual awakening' are used many times in this book which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself among us in many different forms. - Pg. 567 - 4th. Edition - Appendices II - Spiritual Experience Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Are we remembering the so-called 'good times' right now? How nice a 'high' would be? We use this hour to REALLY think about what got us to this fight for sobriety. It wasn't because we were having a lot of fun! Help me to think a drink and drug all the way through, not just the high but the hell it leads to. A Return to Living Today, I keep my house clean and let go of the rest - some of the ways that I wish to live as a recovered person will not be readily understood by others. I will keep my own scorecard clean and not worry about the results. I will act in a way that makes it easier for me to live with myself - that keeps my own conscience clear. Other people's negative projections of me no longer run me. I am the one who makes the decisions about who I want to be. I need not defend and explain myself again and again. I need not ask permission to be who I am. I allow myself to be happy in my own skin today. I think well of myself, no matter what others think of me. I create my own self. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote The people you most need to give love to will seem like the ones who deserve it the least. It begins with me. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Going to any lengths are our strengths. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am doing the best that I can with the guidance that I get. I leave the results to my Higher Power and trust that they are for the greatest good. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote It's not just the 'yets' I worry about if I pick up a drink - it's also the 'agains'. - Anon.
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December 18
Daily Reflections HONESTY WITH NEWCOMERS Tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 93 The marvel of A.A. is that I tell only what happened to me. I don't waste time offering advice to potential newcomers, for if advice worked, nobody would get to A.A. All I have to do is show what has brought me sobriety and what has changed my life. If I fail to stress the spiritual feature of A.A.'s program, I am being dishonest. The newcomer should not be given a false impression of sobriety. I am sober only through the grace of my Higher Power, and that makes it possible for me to share with others. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Unless we have the key of faith to unlock the meaning of life, we are lost. We do not choose faith because it is one way for us, but because it is the only way. Many have failed and will fail. For we cannot live victoriously without faith; we are at sea without a rudder or an anchor, drifting on the sea of life. Wayfarers without a home. Our souls are restless until they find rest in God. Without faith, our lives are a meaningless succession of unrelated happenings, without rhyme or reason. Have I come to rest in faith? Meditation For The Day This vast universe around us, including this wonderful earth on which we live, was once perhaps only a thought in the mind of God. The nearer the astronomers and the physicists get to the ultimate composition of all things, the nearer the universe approaches a mathematical formula, which is thought. The universe may be the thought of the Great Thinker. We must try to think God's thoughts after Him. We must try to get the guidance from the Divine Mind as to what His intention is for the world and what part we can have in carrying out that intention. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may not worry over the limitations of the human mind. I pray that I may live as though my mind were a reflection of the Divine Mind. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Those Other People, p.268 "Just like you, I have often thought myself the victim of what other people say and do. Yet every time I confessed the sins of such people, especially those whose sins did not correspond exactly with my own, I found that I only increased the total damage. My own resentment, my self-pity would often render me well-nigh useless to anybody. "So, nowadays, if anyone talks of me so as to hurt, I first ask myself if there is any truth at all in what they say. If there is none, I try to remember that I too have had my periods of speaking bitterly of others; that hurtful gossip is but a symptom of our remaining emotional illness; and consequently that I must never be angry at the unreasonableness of sick people. "Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again, to forgive others--also myself. Have you recently tried this?" Letter, 1946 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places The Fear Of Loneliness Raising Self-Esteem The fear of being alone brings strange results. It may cause us to cling to arrangements and relationships that are unsatisfactory or destructive. Some of us become enablers for loved ones who are still drinking; quite often this can involve putting up with abuse we shouldn't have to endure. We endure such relationships because we fear we'll be alone and defenseless without them. We may even put up with friends who are manipulative or treacherous because we can't visualize having happier, healthier friendships. When we recognize that we are holding on to unsatisfactory relationships for such reasons, we need to apply the program more diligently in our own lives. Usually, we need more self-esteem--a belief that we deserve satisfactory relationships. We do not have to be alone, but neither do we have to endure what amounts to abuse and rejection. WhetherI'm with people or alone today, I'll know that all of my relationships should be satisfactory for everybody involved. I'll let my Higher Power guide me to the relationships that are right for me. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."Franklin D. Roosevelt As addicts, we had lots of fear. Some of us were afraid of failure. So we didn't try to do much. Or else we tried too hard all the time. We used alcohol and other drugs to forget our fear, but it didn't go away. It got worse. Now we know we don't have to be afraid. When our lives are in the care of our Higher Power, we're safe. Faith is the cure for out fear. But still, fear keeps creeping back inside us. That's okay. It's normal. There is so much that's new in our sober life! We don't know what will happen next. It's hard to always remember to trust our Higher Power. It's hard to always do what our Higher Power says. It's hard to always have faith. We have to practice turning our fear over to our Higher Power. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, be with me when I'm afraid. Help me remember to have faith to believe in You, even when my fear tells me not to. Action for the Day: Today, I'll notice my fear and pray each time get afraid. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Destruction. Crashing realities exploding in imperfect landings. Ouch. It's my heart that's breaking, for these have been my fantasies and my world. --Mary Casey We frequently aren't given what we want--whether it's a particular job, a certain relationship, a special talent. But we are always given exactly what we need at the moment. None of us can see what tomorrow is designed to bring, and our fantasies are always tied to a future moment. Our fantasies seldom correlate with the real conditions that are necessary to our continued spiritual growth. Fantasies are purposeful. They give us goals to strive for, directions to move in. They are never as far-sighted as the goals our higher power has in store for us, though. We have far greater gifts than we are aware of, and we are being pushed to develop them at the very times when it seems our world is crashing down. We can cherish our fantasies--but let them go. Our real purpose in life far exceeds our fondest dreams. The Steps have given us the tools to make God's plan for us a reality. How limited is my vision, my dreams. If one of mine is dashed today, I will rest assured that an even better one will present itself, if I but let it. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition BILL'S STORY I saw that my friend was much more than inwardly reorganized. He was on a different footing. His roots grasped a new soil. Despite the living example of my friend there remained in me the vestiges of my old prejudice. The word God still aroused a certain antipathy. When the thought expressed that there might be a God personal to me this feeling was intensified. I didn't like the idea. I could go for such conceptions as Creative Intelligence, Universal Mind or Spirit of Nature but I resisted the thought of a Czar of the Heavens, however loving His sway might be. I have since talked with scores of men who felt the same way. pp. 11-12 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Because I'm An Alcoholic This drinker finally found the answer to her nagging question, "Why?" Blackouts began, vacant places in my life when hours would disappear, lost to memory. The first time was after I'd given a dinner party. The next morning I woke up without remembering that I'd told my guests goodnight and gone to bed myself. I searched the apartment for clues. The table was cluttered with dessert glasses and coffee cups. Bottles were empty, and the glasses too. (It was my custom to polish off any drinks that were left.) My last memory was sometime during diner. Did we ever finish? But there were the plates. I was terrified that I'd done something horrendous, until my friends called to tell me they enjoyed the evening. p. 340 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Four - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." The sponsors of those who feel they need no inventory are confronted with quite another problem. This is because people who are driven by pride of self unconsciously blind themselves to their liabilities. These newcomers scarcely need comforting. The problem is to help them discover a chink in the walls their ego has built, through which the light of reason can shine. p. 46 ************************************************** ********* Thought is the blossom; language the bud; action the fruit behind it. --Ralph Waldo Emerson "Let me tell thee, time is a very precious gift of God; so precious that it is only given to us moment by moment." --Amelia Barr Pain is never permanent. --Saint Theresa of Avila Meetings: A checkup from the neck up. --unknown Don't give up before the miracle happens. --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation FREEDOM "You are free and that is why you are lost." -- Franz Kafka Part of my understanding of spirituality is that we have many choices and we live in moments of "not knowing". Part of being human is that we have feelings of being lost. These feelings can lead to fear and loneliness or they can be seen as the essence of man's risk and adventure. With freedom comes daily uncertainties; nothing is predestined or made to happen God is in the choice. Herein lies true greatness. The fact is that we do not have all the answers. We are not sure of the results. The joys are mingled with the pain and sorrows such is the divinity of life. And yet still we choose to live! Sobriety is accepting the reality of this uncertain life. My responsibility is accepting this freedom and making a daily choice not to drink. May I accept my "lostness" until I return home to You. ************************************************** ********* "...behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, 'Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit; she will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." Luke 1:20-21 Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love, and His wonderful deeds for men. Psalm 107:15 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He saved them from their distress. Psalm 107:19 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration If you are not happy with what you have, how will you be happy with what you want to have? Lord, may I appreciate the good things in my life and refuse to feel sorry for myself or compare myself to others. Many joys come from the simple things. Lord, open my eyes that I may see the wonders in my life and take the time to enjoy them. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The Message Of Our Meetings "The fact that we, each and every group, focus on carrying the message provides consistency; addicts can count on us." Basic Text pg. 64-65 Tales of our antics in active addiction may be funny. Stories of our old bizarre reactions to life when using may be interesting. But they tend to carry the mess more than the message. Philosophical arguments on the nature of God are fascinating. Discussions of current controversies have their place - however, it's not at an NA meeting. Those times when we grow disgusted with meetings and find ourselves complaining that "they don't know how to share" or "it was another whining session" are probably indications that we need to take a good, hard look at how we share. What we share about how we got into recovery and how we stayed here through practicing the Twelve Steps is the real message of recovery. That's what we are all looking for when we go to a meeting. Our primary purpose is to carry the message to the still-suffering addict, and what we share at meetings can either contribute significantly to this effort or detract greatly. The choice, and the responsibility, is ours. Just for today: I will share my recovery at an NA meeting. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Endurance is nobler than strength, and patience than beauty. --John Ruskin It's hard to keep from trying to control the lives of others, especially in a family. We can learn from the man whose friend drove twenty miles to and from work on the freeway every day. "How can you do it?" he asked. "I've tried, and I can't go a mile in such traffic without screaming at the crazy drivers who cut in, go too slow, change lanes. Nobody listens. I'd lose my mind if I had to do it your way." His friend replied, "Your trouble is trying to drive every car around you. I relax and drive only one car--my own." We have only our own lives to live, and this is usually enough to keep us busy. If we pay too much attention to how others live, we will neglect ourselves. What acts of others can I ignore today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Ultimately, both parents and children are seen as individuals. For all their claims on one another, each is entitled to a life separate and distinct from the other. --Francine Klagsbrun The process of untangling the relationships between ourselves and our parents - as well as with our children - is a long term process. Each of us came into the world helpless. As sons, we had no choice about relying on our parents. We reached manhood with a mixture of gratitude, guilt, and resentment. The same is true of our children. Those of us who are fathers began with an obligation to our children. We may now feel a mixture of commitment, fulfillment, and guilt. No parent can teach a child everything he or she will need. We all do what we can to continue to learn and grow. We have lifelong commitments to each other--within reason. We are all trying to make our way as best we can. We each need to advance our own well-being and not destroy our lives for the sake of a parent or a child. Today, I will be responsible for myself. Then I can be more responsible to others. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Destruction. Crashing realities exploding in imperfect landings. Ouch. It's my heart that's breaking, for these have been my fantasies and my world. --Mary Casey We frequently aren't given what we want--whether it's a particular job, a certain relationship, a special talent. But we are always given exactly what we need at the moment. None of us can see what tomorrow is designed to bring, and our fantasies are always tied to a future moment. Our fantasies seldom correlate with the real conditions that are necessary to our continued spiritual growth. Fantasies are purposeful. They give us goals to strive for, directions to move in. They are never as far-sighted as the goals our higher power has in store for us, though. We have far greater gifts than we are aware of, and we are being pushed to develop them at the very times when it seems our world is crashing down. We can cherish our fantasies--but let them go. Our real purpose in life far exceeds our fondest dreams. The Steps have given us the tools to make God's plan for us a reality. How limited is my vision, my dreams. If one of mine is dashed today, I will rest assured that an even better one will present itself, if I but let it. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Staying Open to Our Feelings Many of us have gotten so good at following the "don't feel" rule that we can try to talk ourselves out of having feelings, even in recovery. "If I was really working a good program, I wouldn't feel angry." "I don't get angry. I'm a Christian. I forgive and forget." "I'm not angry. I'm affirming that I'm happy." These are all statements, some of them quite clever, that indicate we're operating under the "don't feel" rule again. Part of working a good program means acknowledging and dealing with our feelings. We strive to accept and deal with our anger so it doesn't harden into resentments. We don't use recovery as an excuse to shut down our emotions. Yes, we are striving for forgiveness, but we still want to feel, listen to, and stay with our feelings until it is time to release them appropriately. Our Higher Power created the emotional part of ourselves. God is not telling us to not feel; it's our dysfunctional systems. We also need to be careful how we use affirmations; discounting our emotions won't make feelings go away. If we're angry, it's okay to have that feeling. That's part of how we get and stay healthy. Today, I will refuse to accept shame from others or myself for feeling my feelings. Today I welcome all my feelings. Today I deserve to feel joy and love and gratitude and warmth and affection, just to name a few. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Celebrate Holidays but Honor Your Holy Days Holidays help us remember important national and religious events. Holidays are marked by the calendar. Holy days are something else. Holy days are the days we remember not because they are marked on any calendar, but because they are important spiritual events to us. These are the days our souls remember. A birthday. The day a loved one left this earth. The anniversary of a significant change in our lives– the day we started something, the day we stopped doing something, the day we accomplished something important to us, a new beginning. Celebrate the holidays marked by the calendar in whatever way you choose. Some of these may be holy days for you as well. But remember to honor your own holy days, the ones that are special to you. Celebrate holidays, but honor your holy days,too. Choose your own rituals. Honor what is sacred to you. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Savor each moment Enjoy each moment as it comes. It’s so easy to relish that final moment, when the project is finished and the work is turned in. It’s easy to trick ourselves into thinking that peak moments in life are the only ones that count. In Benjamin Hoff’s The Tao of Pooh, Pooh talks about the anticipation of eating his honey. The moment when the honey touches your lips is good, Pooh says. But there’s the moment right before, that moment of anticipation, that might be just as good if not better. Go for your dreams. Go for those peak moments of performance and pleasure,too. The day you get your ten-year medallion for sobriety is a good day. Achieving that success in your career– that special award– is a wonderful moment, indeed. And those peak moments in love are indescribably delicious to experience and reminisce about. While many people talk about being in that peak zone of pleasure all the time, most of us know that peak moments are only a very small fraction of our lives. If we only enjoy those peak moments, or those moments just before, we’ll forget to notice the importance of a lot of our lives. Go for peak moments. But open up your heart and let the sheer raw beauty of all the moments in. When you stop looking and waiting for those peak experiences, you might find out how sweet and delicious each single moment really is. Savor each moment of your life. God, help me let go of anything that’s sabotaging my joy. Help me release the belief that I can only find happiness, pleasure, and joy when I’m on top of a peak. *************************************** Stronger for It Mending a Broken Heart by Madisyn Taylor A heart that has been broken and seen pain, reveals within it, a crack that allows more light in. Heartbreak happens to all of us and can wash over us like a heavy rain. When experiencing a broken heart, our ethereal selves are saturated with grief, and the overflow is channeled into the physical body. Loss becomes a physical emptiness, and longing is transmuted into a feeling that often cannot be put into words. Mending a broken heart can seem a task so monumental that we dare not attempt it for fear of damaging ourselves further. But heartbreak, like all emotions, falls under the spell of our conscious influence. Often the pain that wounds us most deeply also leaves the most enduring mark upon us. The shock that becomes the tender, throbbing ache of the heart eventually leads us down the path of enlightenment, blessing our lives with a new depth and richness. Acknowledging heartbreak's impermanence by no means dulls its sting for it is the sting itself that stimulates healing. The pain is letting us know that we need to pay attention to our emotional selves, to sit with our feelings and be in them fully before we can begin to heal. It is said that time heals all wounds. Time may dull the pain of a broken heart, but it is fully feeling your pain and acknowledging it that will truly help you heal. Dealing with your heartache in a healthy way rather than putting it off for tomorrow is the key to repair. Gentleness more than anything else is called for. Most important, open yourself to the possibility of loving, trusting, and believing again. When, someday soon, you emerge from the cushion of your grief, you will see that the universe did not cease to be as you nursed your broken heart. You emerge on the other side of the mending, stronger for all you have experienced. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I’m learning — all too slowly, at times — that when I give up the losing battle of trying to run my life in my own way, I gain abiding peace and deep serenity. For many of us, that learning process is a painfully slow one. Eventually, however, we understand that there are only two wills in the world, my will and God’s. Whatever is within my direct control is my will; whatever is beyond my direct control is His Will. So I try to accept that which is beyond my control as God’s will for me. Am I beginning to realize that by surrendering my will to the Divine Will, I am for the first time living without turmoil and without anxiety? Today I Pray May I hope that my will can be congruent with the all-encompassing will of God. I pray that I will know immediately if my will is in a useless tug-of-war with His Divine Will. May I trust God now to guide my will according to his Master Plan — and to make His purpose mine. Today I Will Remember Achievement comes when my will is in harmony with God’s. *************************************** One More Day The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith. – Franklin Delano Roosevelt Major changes in our lives may stun us — with delight or perhaps disbelief. After all, not all changes are negative. But when the change is negative, when illness is diagnosed or when pain pervades each day, we may begin to doubt our own inner resources. Once physically strong, we will have to dig deeper than ever to tap into our spiritual resources as well. If we have doubts today, it may be because we are still locked into our physical selves. We are more than body, and it is our spirits that can be nourished by our caring Higher Power, Our value and importance are revealed by that care. knowing this, we can move forward with our lives. I will look beyond my physical body for a source of strength and care. ************************************ Food For Thought Concentrating Our program requires concentration. It is not something that we may consider casually in odd bits of leftover time. Since abstinence is the most important thing in our lives, we devote our best energies to maintaining it. Many of us find that time spent concentrating on our program at the beginning of the day is most fruitful. These periods of concentration do not need to be long. It is the quality of our attention that counts. A few minutes in the morning spent in contact with our Higher Power can set the tone for the entire day. We touch base with who we are and where we are going. Concentrating brings results. Whenever thoughts of food and eating interrupt our activities, we can stop for a moment to concentrate on our program. Abstinence is not always foremost in our minds, but it is always there when we are threatened by a return to old thoughts and cravings. Compulsive overeating was concentration on food; abstinence is concentration on recovery. I pray that You will direct my concentration. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ACTION "You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; in just the same way, you learn to love by loving." St. Francis De Sales (1567 - 1622) (in French, St François de Sales) Bishop of Geneva, Switzerland and a Roman Catholic saint. St. Francis de Sales lived from 1567 to 1622. Isn't it amazing that a man who lived over 300 years before the birth of our recovery program could encapsulate its meaning in the above quote? Put another way, what St. Francis was saying was, "You work the program by working the program." I've met so many people who had theoretical knowledge of recovery, but no practical experience. They don't work the program; they just talk the talk without walking the walk. I'm not proud to admit that I've been one of those people myself. It's a wonderful feeling to actually work the program, to take the Steps, and to trust in the God of my understanding to keep me working it. Paying lip service to the program doesn't bring recovery; only working it does. Anything else is a waste of time and energy. One Day at a Time . . . I will work the program by working the program; today, I'll take action to bring about my recovery. Jeff ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote As we discovered the principles by which the individual alcoholic could live, so we had to evolve principles by which A.A. groups and A.A. as a whole could survive and function effectively. It was thought that no alcoholic man or woman could be excluded from our Society; that our leaders might serve but never govern; that each group was to be autonomous and there was to be no professional class of therapy. - Pg. xix - 4th Edition - Forward To The Second Edition Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Addiction is the great solvent that equalizes all people. We are equal in our addiction and equal in our program of recovery. Although with each passing day of sobriety we get clearer, we are only one fix, pill, drink, smoke, or snort away from a binge--at 18 days or 18 years! May I realize I am no better or worse than another, or them from me. We are equal in our recovery. Letting Go Letting go of the past and moving on is a tall order; it requires a kind of releasing that I still find difficult to do. My past will always be in the shadows of my memory to haunt me if I do not recognize it as a part of me. If I pretend it's not important, grit my teeth and force myself to numb myself, I have missed the point of this process. On the other had, if I am unwilling to let go no matter how many times I have worked through certain issues, I am also not allowing myself to be fully healthy and return to life. The part of my healing that is a flowing through the stored pain from the past is a decisive, forward-moving action. I understand that, as part of my process of healing, my responsibility to let go and move on. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Honesty without kindness is cruel and kindness without honesty is co-dependence. If I can't say it kindly, I needn't say it at all. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book It came to pass; it didn't come to stay. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I can handle whatever comes up, knowing that I am surrounded by all the positive energies of the universe. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote People think that they're going to get sober by osmosis and going to 90 meetings in 90 days. But there's only one way to obtain and maintain sobriety and that's through the program folded within these 164 pages. - Ted H.
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"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
12-11-2024, 06:25 AM | #19 |
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December 19
Daily Reflections UNDERSTANDING THE MALADY When dealing with an alcoholic, there may be a natural annoyance that a man could be so weak, stupid and irresponsible. Even when you understand the malady better, you may feel this feeling rising. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 139 Having suffered from alcoholism, I should understand the illness, but sometimes I feel annoyance, even contempt, toward a person who cannot make it in A.A. When I feel that way, I am satisfying my false sense of superiority and I must remember, but for the grace of God, there go I. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The skeptic and the agnostic say it is impossible for us to find the answer to life. Many have tried and failed. But many have put aside intellectual pride and have said to themselves: Who am I to say there is no God? Who am I to say there is no purpose in life? The atheist makes a declaration: "The world originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere." Others live for the moment and do not even think about why they are here or where they are going. They might as well be clams on the bottom of the ocean, protected by their hard shells of indifference. They do not care. Do I care where I am going? Meditation For The Day We may consider the material world as the clay which the artist works with, to make of it something beautiful or ugly. We need not fear material things, which are neither good nor bad in the moral sense. There seems to be no active force for evil--outside of human beings themselves. Humans alone can have either evil intentions--resentments, malevolence, hate and revenge--or good intentions--love and good will. They can make something ugly or something beautiful out of the clay of their lives. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may make something beautiful out of my life. I pray that I may be a good artisan of the materials which I have been given to use. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Behind Our Excuses, p.267 As excuse-makers and rationalizers, we drunks are champions. It is the business of the psychiatrist to find the deeper causes for our conduct. Though uninstructed in psychiatry, we can, after a little time in A.A., see that our motives have not been what we thought they were, and that we have been motivated by forces previously unknown to us. Therefore we ought to look, with the deepest respect, interest, and profit, upon the example set us by psychiatry. ******************************** "Spiritual growth through the practice of A.A.'s Twelve Steps, plus the aid of a good sponsor, can usually reveal most of the deeper reasons for our character defects, at least to a degree that meets our practical needs. Nevertheless, we should be grateful that our friends in psychiatry have so strongly emphasized the necessity to search for false and often unconscious motivations." 1. A.A. Comes Of Age, p.236 2. Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Deadlines Facing delays The procrastination of our drinking years caused some of us to become compulsive and fearful about meeting deadlines. We fret and stew if we're unable to get things done when we think they should be completed. Without being careless or irresponsible, we should remember that we're really living in a spiritual world on a spiritual basis. There are times when a delay even turns out to be beneficial because additional information or assistance turns up later on to ensure the success of a project. It is part of mature living to keep promises and to meet the proper deadlines. Let's be sure, however, that we're not simply meeting unrealistic deadlines of our own making. We don't have to do this to atone for any failures of the past. I'll look over my plans today to make sure that I haven't set any unrealistic deadlines for myself. I may be trying too much, too soon. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The truth is more important than the facts. --Frank Lloyd Wright. Before recovery, we relied on false facts about addiction. We said things like, "I can quit anytime I want." "If you had my family, you'd drink too." The truth is, we were out of control. We couldn't manage our lives. We were sick. We were scared. When others pointed out this truth to us, we denied it. Honesty, the backbone of our program, is about truth. We even start our meetings with the truth about who we are. "Hi, my name is ___________, and I'm an alcoholic," or "Hi, my name is _______________, and I'm a drug addict." The truth frees us from our addiction. The truth heals us and gives us comfort. It's like a blanket on a cold winter night. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me be an honest person. I pray for the strength to face the truth and speak it. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list 3 ways I have used facts in a dishonest way. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning My singing is very therapeutic. For three hours I have no troubles--I know how it's all going to come out. --Beverly Sills Have we each found an activity that takes us outside of ourselves? An activity that gives us a place to focus our attention? Being self-centered and focused on ourselves accompanies the illness we're struggling to recover from. The decision to quit preoccupying on ourselves, our own struggles with life, is not easy to maintain. But when we have an activity that excites us, on which we periodically concentrate our attention, we are strengthened. And the more we get outside of ourselves, the more aware we become that "all is well." It seems our struggles are intensified as women. So often we face difficult situations at work and with children, alone. The preoccupation with our problems exaggerates them. And the vicious cycle entraps us. However, we don't have to stay trapped. We can pursue a hobby. We can take a class, join a health club. We can dare to follow whatever our desire--to try something new. We need to experience freedom from the inner turmoil in order to know that we deserve even more freedom. Emotional health is just around the corner. I will turn my attention to the world outside myself. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition BILL'S STORY My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?" That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last. It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would! p. 12 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Because I'm An Alcoholic This drinker finally found the answer to her nagging question, "Why?" One time we sailed from Guadelupe to a little island for a picnic, swam to shore from the ship. After lunch, and quantities of wine, I was with a French ski instructor talking to a troop of small boys on their way home from school, trying to explain to those tropical islanders what snow is like. I remember them giggling. The next thing I knew, I was back at the camp, walking to the dining room--apparently after swimming back to the ship, sailing to the port, then taking a rickety bus across the island. I had no memory of what I had done during those hours between. p. 341 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Four - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." First off, they can be told that the majority of A.A. members have suffered severely from self-justification during their drinking days. For most of us, self-justification was the maker of excuses; excuses, of course, for drinking, and for all kinds of crazy and damaging conduct. We had made the invention of alibis a fine art. We had to drink because times were hard or times were good. We had to drink because at home we were smothered with love or got none at all. We had to drink because at work we were great successes or dismal failures. We had to drink because our nation had won a war or lost a peace. And so it went, ad infinitum. pp. 46-47 ************************************************** ********* "Keep your head and your heart going in the right direction and you will not have to worry about your feet." --Unknown Reputation is what you are in the light; character is what you are in the dark. --American Proverb Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes of which all men have some. --Charles Dickens The mere sense of living is joy enough. --Emily Dickinson Learn to get in touch with silence within yourself, And know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, No coincidences, All events are blessings given to us to learn from. --Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation INDIVIDUALITY "The People, though we think a great entity when we use the word, means nothing more than so many --- millions of individual men (and women)." James Bryce I am an individual. I am unique. I am special. Today I am able to enjoy my difference. I do not need to hide in alcohol, food or drugs. I do not have to put energy into being the same as friends or neighbors. I do not need to please people in order to feel good about myself. Today I am my own person. God made us varied and different in so many ways, and yet so many of us spend our time trying to be the same. The effort exerted to achieve the lowest common denominator is exactly that: the lowest. My spiritual program demands that I be honest with who I am and what I feel. My self-worth is rooted in my individuality. In my difference is my soul. May I always remain true to my individuality. ************************************************** ********* "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30 For anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. Hebrews 4:10 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Through the power of God within me, I am stronger than any of my circumstances. Lord, I seek, I knock and I ask and You are always there and ready to give me the miracles that I need. The first and most powerful commandment is love. Through love we unite ourselves together with God and with each other and bring ourselves closer to our desired goal. Lord, I love You with all my heart and soul and mind. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Walking The Way We Talk "Words mean nothing until we put them into action." Basic Text pg. 56 The Twelfth Step reminds us "to practice these principles in all our affairs." In NA, we see living examples of this suggestion all around us. The more experienced members, who seem to have an aura of peace surrounding them, demonstrate the rewards of applying this bit of wisdom in their lives. To receive the rewards of the Twelfth Step, it is vital that we practice the spiritual principles of recovery even when no one is looking. If we talk about recovery at meetings but continue to live as we did in active addiction, our fellow members may suspect that we are doing nothing more than quoting bumper stickers. What we pass on to newer members comes more from how we live than what we say. If we advise someone to "turn it over" without having experienced the miracle of the Third Step, chances are the message will fail to reach the ears of the newcomer for whom it's intended. On the other hand, if we "walk what we talk" and share our genuine experience in recovery, the message will surely be evident to all. Just for today: I will practice the principles of recovery, even when I'm the only one who knows. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Open your mind and your heart to be still. --Shawn Phillips In this time of international conflict and mistrust it is easy to despair. At times we may even feel hopeless as we hear about wars and weapons. But there is hope! Change can grow from within each of us. The world is like a tree--if the tree is diseased and the leaves brown and brittle, the gardener does not treat the branches, but tends to the roots. Our world is made up of nations, in which there are states containing communities of neighborhoods where individual people live. We are the roots of our world tree. As attitudes change; as we accept and love ourselves honestly and learn, in turn, to accept and love others regardless of our differences, slowly, the branches that extend from us and cover the world will grow strong. The peace we can make within ourselves can be reflected everywhere. Will I find the peace within myself today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. If I were given a change of life, I'd like to see how it would be to live as a mere six-footer. --Wilt Chamberlain It's human nature for us to wonder what life would be like in another man's shoes. No matter how good or bad we've had it, we like to consider those possibilities sometimes. While we were still in the trap of living with an addict or being one, some of us used a fantasy world as an escape from our circumstances. Perhaps it was the only option we knew. Now we are in a program, which liberates us and gives us hope. It's not an easy program, but it is simple. We're learning that when we have a relationship with our Higher Power and become accountable, we gain more options and can have hope. We can do interesting and rewarding things in our lives now that were closed to us before. Sobriety makes it possible for us to go forward into reality and leave fantasy for play. Today, I am grateful for life in the real world that recovery has given me You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. My singing is very therapeutic. For three hours I have no troubles--I know how it's all going to come out. --Beverly Sills Have we each found an activity that takes us outside of ourselves? An activity that gives us a place to focus our attention? Being self-centered and focused on ourselves accompanies the illness we're struggling to recover from. The decision to quit preoccupying on ourselves, our own struggles with life, is not easy to maintain. But when we have an activity that excites us, on which we periodically concentrate our attention, we are strengthened. And the more we get outside of ourselves, the more aware we become that "all is well." It seems our struggles are intensified as women. So often we face difficult situations at work and with children, alone. The preoccupation with our problems exaggerates them. And the vicious cycle entraps us. However, we don't have to stay trapped. We can pursue a hobby. We can take a class, join a health club. We can dare to follow whatever our desire--to try something new. We need to experience freedom from the inner turmoil in order to know that we deserve even more freedom. Emotional health is just around the corner. I will turn my attention to the world outside myself. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Work Roles How easy it is to dive into roles at work. How easy it is to place other people in roles. Sometimes, this is necessary, appropriate, and expedient. But we can also let our self-shine through our role. There is joy in giving our gift of skill at work, at giving ourselves to the task at hand so thoroughly that we experience an intimate relationship with our work. There is joy when we create or accomplish a task and can say, "Well done!" There is also joy when we are our self at work, and when we discover and appreciate those around us. The most unpleasant, mundane task can be breezed through when we stop thinking of ourselves as a robot and allow ourselves to be a person. Those around us will respond warmly when we treat them as individuals and not job defined roles. This does not mean we need to become inappropriately entangled with others. It means that, whether we are an employer or an employee, when people are allowed to be people who perform tasks instead of task performers, we are happier and more content people. Today, I will let myself shine through my task at work. I will try to see others and let them shine through too - instead of looking only at their tasks. God, help me be open to the beauty of others and myself at work. Help me maintain healthy relationships with people at work. In quiet meditation I find emotional balance. I feel myself growing closer and closer to my Higher Power and I find love. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Look for the Deeper Picture The two men were sitting in a restaurant booth, staring intently at the Magic Eye pictures on the wall. “I’ve tried for years to see the picture hidden inside, but I can’t,” said one. “Everyone says it’s there though, so I’ll just have to trust that it is.” Magic Eye pictures have been popular for some time. At first, the picture looks like a print; it’s often a repetitive pattern of the sort you see on wallpaper or a tablecloth. It’s pretty to look at, but it’s not really a picture. But another picture, a 3-D picture is hidden within the print or pattern– one you can see only if you relax your vision and look in a special way. Then the real picture, the deeper picture, appears. I have always thought these pictures contain a lesson. They remind us to look past the daily superficial events of our lives and trust that there is meaning, that there is a deeper picture, one that can be seen only with the eyes of your soul. As we go through our days, weeks, and months, what we’re experiencing doesn’t always make a lot of sense. Sometimes it causes downright distress. We’re uncomfortable. We feel out of place. We wonder if what we see is all there. Those are the times to stop staring so hard, relax our vision, and let the deeper picture, the real picture, come to us. Life goes on, with all its troubles, stresses, changes, and disappointments. But it isn’t a disconnected series of random events. It’s our punishment. And it’s not without meaning. Something important is being worked out in your life and in your soul. Learn to relax. Look for the reflection of something else in the picture of your life. Learn to look more deeply. Learn to look and see with the eyes of the soul. And sometimes, like the man in the restaurant, if we can’t see the picture or the real meaning, we just have to relax and trust that it’s here. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Have the time of your life Make every moment count. The first time I heard the words, I was sitting in the movie theater with Shane. He was eleven at the time. There were only a few other people in the theater, we had snuck out to see a show together. It was one of our favorite mother-son things to do, especially on Sunday nights. Until about a year before, I had been very goal oriented. I was always looking toward the future, moving toward the next level in my life. First there was getting through the poverty, then struggling to get beyond being an impoverished single parent. Then I began working toward the next level of success in my career. I was always trying to make my world and my children’s lives better. As I sat in the theater staring at the screen, I had a flash of my own mortality– at least I thought it was mine. I won’t be here forever, I thought. Someday, this time in my life will have passed. It’ll just be a memory. Shane put his feet up on the back of the seat in front of us. I started to nag him him about this, then I changed my mind. There was nobody sitting there. It wasn’t that big of a deal. I didn’t need to fuss about something that unimportant. Make every moment count, were the words I heard in my heart. It’s so easy to get hooked into the busyness of life. It’s easy to focus on the destination and tell ourselves we’ll be happy when we get there and forget to be happy and cherish the beauty of each moment of the trip. So often, we don’t even know that we’re living the best, most beautiful part of our lives right now. I worried a lot as a struggling single parent, trying to write articles for the Gazette for $25 an article. How will I make ends meet? Am I writing well enough? Geez, I don’t have time to date. Am I being a good enough mother? God, there’s a lot to do raising these kids. In retrospect, it was one of the best times in my life. No matter what emotions you’re feeling, no matter the nature of your problems, this moment is the best time in your life. Stop waiting to win the lottery. Or maybe, don’t stop waiting. Buy your ticket. Then put it away and forget about it. Be happy now. Don’t wait until later when you look back at this time in your life. Say how sweet it is right now. Make every moment count. God, teach me to be happy now. *************************************** Empathy in Action An Experiment in Gratitude by Madisyn Taylor If you find it hard to be grateful for what you have, it is time to dig deeper and be brave when looking for the gratitude. Sometimes we forget to take the time to recognize the richness that defines our lives. This may be because many of the messages we encounter as we go about our affairs prompt us to think about what we don’t have rather than all the abundance we do enjoy. Consequently, our gratitude exists in perpetual conflict with our desire for more, whether we crave time, convenience, wealth, or enlightenment. Yet understanding and truly appreciating our blessings can be as simple as walking a mile in another’s shoes for a short period of time. Because many of us lead comparatively insular lives, we may not comprehend the full scope of our prosperity that is relative to our sisters and brothers in humanity. If you find taking an inventory of your life’s blessings difficult, consider the ease with which you nourish your body and mind, feed your family, move from place to place, and attend to tasks at hand. For a great number of people, activities you may take for granted, such as attaining an education, buying healthy food, commuting to work, or keeping a clean house, represent great challenges. To experience firsthand the complex tests others face as a matter of course in their daily lives, try living without the amenities you most often take for granted. This can be a great experiment to undertake with your entire family or a classroom. Understanding working poverty can be as easy as endeavoring to buy nutritious foods with a budget of $100 for the week. If you own a car, relying on public transportation for even just a day can help you see the true value of the comfort and conveniences others do without. As you explore a life without things you may normally take for granted,! ask yourself for how long you could endure. The compassionate gratitude that floods your heart when you come to fully realize your abundance may awaken pangs of guilt in your heart. Be aware, however, that the purpose of such an experiment is to open your heart further in gratitude and compassion. This awareness can help you attain a deeper level of gratitude that will allow you to savor and, above all, appreciate your life with renewed grace. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day The Program teaches me to work for progress, not perfection. That simple admonition gives me great comfort, for it represents a primary way in which my life today is so different than it used to be. In my former life, perfection — for all its impossibility — was so often my number one goal. Today I can believe that if I sometimes fail, I’m not a failure — and if I sometimes make a mistake, I’m not a mistake. And I can apply those same beliefs to The Program’s Twelve Steps as well as to my entire life. Do I believe that only Step One can be practiced with perfection, and that the remaining Steps represent perfect ideals? Today I Pray God, teach me to abandon my erstwhile goal of superhuman perfection in everything I did or said. I know that I was actually bent on failure, because I could never attain those impossible heights I had established for myself. Now that I understand this pattern, may I no longer program my own failures. Today I Will Remember I may strive to be a super person, but not a super person. *************************************** One More Day Life is not merely living but living in health. – Martial Living in health may seem impossible for the chronically ill. After all, we reason, it’s difficult to live in health if we are sick. In fact, living in health is an old fashioned tier, almost like a benediction. These days we want to experience the wellness that goes beyond physical health by emphasizing emotional and spiritual health. For the first time we can allow ourselves the right to wellness despite physical illness. Even with an on-going illness, most of us don’t have constant pain or discomfort. there are many times we enjoy ourselves. Playing cards, gardening, going for a walk, praying, meditation — these activities exercise all of our being — physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I will consider my wellness, not illness, my life goal. ************************************ Food For Thought Climbing Eating compulsively was a downhill skid into despair. Recovering is an uphill climb all the way. It is not easy. The line of least resistance is the habit pattern we have built up over past years. Forming new habits is hard work. We do not stand still. Either we are climbing up step by step into recovery or we are slipping further down into disease. Each decision we make to abstain from the first compulsive bite takes us another rung up the ladder to health. Each time we refrain from anger, worry, or false pride, we grow emotionally. In every instance where we are able to turn our will over to our Higher Power, we gain spiritual strength. The climb is what makes life challenging and exciting. To retreat into food is to give up and lose the satisfaction of having reached a higher point in our journey. Realizing that we are and always will be compulsive overeaters makes us aware of our continual need to climb out of illness into recovery. We are climbing, with Your aid. ***************************************** One Day At A Time JOY "The way to do is to be." Lao Tzu (or 'Old Sage' -- born Li Erh) Sixth century B.C. philosopher who began the philosophy of Taoism It is not until we can let ourselves be who we really are that we can recognize who we REALLY are! In recovery I have learned it is by embracing myself as I am today that I will become increasingly aware of my true identity. It is not by denial or pretended "goodness" that the Truth is revealed, but by acceptance and humility. This is one of the many gifts of recovery ... we no longer have to "wait until." This program tells us we can be happy and free now. HERE AND NOW! But, my ego-mind gives me a different message. It says, "You can be happy, joyous and free when you lose the weight, get your health back, get that job, marry that prince, receive the next degree, and on and on. In other words, "You must wait and wait and wait, and maybe someday you'll be good enough. Then you can be happy." Our ego keeps us in pursuit of the elusive happiness it promises. One Day at a Time . . . I choose to be happy; I choose joy. Patt ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove. - Pg. 24 - There Is A Solution Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The most important thing to know about Step Three, turning our will over to a Higher Power, is that all we can do is DECIDE to do it. There is no 'will' we can wrap and send. Once we make the decision to do this, our Higher Power will work for us through the rest of the Steps. I decide to align my will with that of the Source of my Spirit. Reinvestment I have been through a journey of forgiveness. I've faced my anger and hurt and brought order and clarity to my inner world. I've accepted the things I cannot change and changed the things that I could. Because I've shown the courage to face my inner demons and look them in the eye, I feel stronger and more competent. Forgiveness of my self and others has offered me a way out of pain and confusion, and now I find I have a renewed interest in life. I see things differently. I feel liberated from something that was tying up me energy. And I recognize and accept my own humanity, and the humanity of others. I am ready and willing to reinvest in the ideal of love. I want to find worthy projects and passions, and put my energy toward them. I have something to give to the world and the world has something to give to me. I am right where I am supposed to be and I've met the challenges of my life. I am ready to live. I invest my energy with care and gusto - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote It is better to have some-one sober and hating you because you told them the truth, rather than have someone drunk and liking you because you told them a lie. I don't heap on the bull**** when the truth is like Miracle Grow "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Along the road well traveled, there are many pity potholes. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am so full of love and joy today. I see it everywhere I look, and feel it with every breath that I take. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote If you went to a critical AIDS ward and said 'I've got a deal for you; would you come with me to some meetings, meet and chat with some people, take some actions that seem strange to you - would you do that if I could arrest your AIDS? They'd sign over their homes to you. But, go to the alcoholism ward where they're dying from this disease, and they won't go to an AA meeting two doors down the hall. - Clancy I.
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"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
12-11-2024, 06:26 AM | #20 |
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December 20
Daily Reflections THE REWARDS OF GIVING This is indeed the kind of giving that actually demands nothing. He does not expect his brother sufferer to pay him, or even to love him. And then he discovers that by the divine paradox of this kind of giving he has found his own reward, whether his brother has yet received anything or not. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 109 Through experience with Twelfth Step work, I came to understand the rewards of giving that demands nothing in return. At first I expected recovery in others, but I soon learned that this did not happen. Once I acquired the humility to accept the fact that every Twelfth Step call was not going to result in a success, then I was open to receive the rewards of selfless giving. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Our faith should control the whole of our life. We alcoholics were living a divided life. We had to find a way to make it whole. When we were drinking, our lives were made up of a lot of scattered and unrelated pieces. We must pick up our lives and put them back together again. We do it by recovering a faith in a Divine Principle in the universe which hold us together and holds the whole universe together and gives it meaning and purpose. We surrender our disorganized lives to that Power, we get into harmony with the Divine Spirit, and our lives are made whole again. Is my life whole again? Meditation For The Day Avoid fear as you would a plague. Fear, even the smallest fear, is a hacking at the cords of faith that bind you to God. However small the fraying, in time those cords will wear thin, and then one disappointment or shock will make them snap. But for the little fears, the cords of faith would have held firm. Avoid depression, which is allied to fear. Remember that all fear is disloyalty to God. It is a denial of His care and protection. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may have such trust in God today that I will not fear anything too greatly. I pray that I may have assurance that God will take care of me in the long run. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Give Thanks, p.266 Though I still find it difficult to accept today's pain and anxiety with any great degree of serenity--as those more advanced in the spiritual life seem able to do--I can give thanks for present pain nevertheless. I find the willingness to do this by contemplating the lessons learned from past suffering--lessons which have led to the blessings I now enjoy. I can remember how the agonies of alcoholism, the pain of rebellion and thwarted pride, have often led me to God's grace, and so to a new freedom. Grapevine, March 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Returning to Basics Continuing. Now and then, an AA discussion focuses on the theme of "returning to the basics." This is a good time to shake out the excessive concerns that might be cluttering up our lives. No matter how long we've been living in sobriety, we can never afford to dismiss the basic reasons we came to AA in the first place. We had made a mess of our lives, and no human power could relieve our alcoholism. By accepting and admitting this, we were able to find a new way of life. This was also our admission ticket to the larger society, where people are concerned about many things. We sometimes become too caught up in all these concerns even to the extent of forgetting our own needs. It's good, occasionally, to focus a meeting on AA basics. they are as essential today as they were when we first knew that we needed them. I'll remind myself today that the basics give me a firm foundation on which to stand. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. ---Edith Wharton Our Higher Power is the candle. And our hearts, like a mirror, reflect a warm, loving glow. But when we used alcohol and other drugs, we tired to be the candle. We wanted to have control. Many of us acted like this to hide how out of control we felt. We never thought we could be happy by admitting we were out of control. In recovery, we accept that it’s okay to be the mirror. We accept that our Higher Power is the candle that guides us. We want to be the mirror that reflects how much our Higher Power loves us. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thank-you for the light and warmth You give me. Action for the Day: Tonight, I’ll light a candle and place it in front of a mirror. I’ll study how they work together to light the room. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else's life, not even your own child's. The influence you exert is through your own life and what you become yourself. --Eleanor Roosevelt Taking full responsibility for who we are, choosing friends, making plans for personal achievement, consciously deciding day by day where we want to go with our lives, ushers in adventure such as we've never known. For many of us, months and years were wasted while we passively hid from life in alcohol, drugs, food, and other people. But we are breathing new life today. Recovery offers us, daily, the opportunity to participate in the adventure of life. It offers us the opportunity to share our talents, our special gifts with those with whom we share moments of time. We are becoming, every moment of time. As are our friends. Discovering who and what we really are, alone and with one another within our experiences is worthy of celebration. I will congratulate others and myself today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition BILL'S STORY Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view. p. 12 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Because I'm An Alcoholic This drinker finally found the answer to her nagging question, "Why?" The blackouts increased, and my terror increased with them. Telephone bills would inform me that I'd made late-night calls to distant places. I could tell from the numbers whom I called, but what had I said? Some mornings I woke up with a stranger who had brought me home from a party the night before. These things weighed heavily on me, but I couldn't stop the drinking that had caused them. That too gnawed away at any remnants of self-respect I might have had. I was incapable of controlling my drinking and my life. p. 341 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Four - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." We thought "conditions" drove us to drink, and when we tried to correct these conditions and found that we couldn't to our entire satisfaction, our drinking went out of hand and we became alcoholics. It never occurred to us that we needed to change ourselves to meet conditions, whatever they were. p. 47 ************************************************** ********* Our struggle to be perfect at every stage of life is a common element of the human conditions. What comes with age and wisdom is acceptance of our imperfections. --Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water's calm. --Malaysian Proverb "One thing at a time, all things in succession. That which grows slowly endures." --J. G. Hubbard "Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene." --Arthur Christopher Benson For it is in giving that we receive. --Saint Francis of Assisi My spiritual home. is one of peace, serenity, and contentment. --Shelley I can go to a quiet spiritual place, one with God, and feel this busy world around me, is refreshed in beauty, love, and serenity. --Shelley ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PESSIMISM "Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both." -- Oscar Wilde Today I am able to see how I was always looking on the "gloomy" side of life. The glass was always half empty! I can remember thinking that nothing good was ever going to happen, life was to be endured, everybody had a price and people were all selfishly out for themselves. I projected onto others my own sickness, my own despair, my own pessimism. It was a suicidal existence. Today I choose to be a positive and creative person who refuses to be surrounded by negativism. My attitude in life makes all the difference to my enjoyment of life. Today my glass is more than half full and I am happy. In the gift of choice, I recognize my potential joy. ************************************************** ********* "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9 The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life. John 6:63 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Thoughts are powerful, so pay close attention to what you think about. Lord, help me to think thoughts of love, peace and abundance so that this becomes my experience. There is a time for everything. Take time to pray, to sing, to laugh, to work and to touch the hearts of others. Lord, help me be aware that today will never return so that I will not misuse my time or waste it unwisely. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Overcoming Self-Obsession "In living the steps, we begin to let go of our self-obsession." Basic Text p.94 Many of us came to the program convinced that our feelings, our wants, and our needs were of the utmost importance to everyone. We had practiced a lifetime of self-seeking, self-centered behavior and believed it was the only way to live. That self-centeredness doesn't cease just because we stop using drugs. Perhaps we attend our first NA function and are positive that everyone in the room is watching us, judging us, and condemning us. We may demand that our sponsor be on call to listen to us whenever we want - and they, in turn, may gently suggest that the world does not revolve around us. The more we insist on being the center of the universe, the less satisfied we will be with our friends, our sponsor, and everything else. Freedom from self-obsession can be found through concentrating more on the needs of others and less on our own. When others have problems, we can offer help. When newcomers need rides to meetings, we can pick them up. When friends are lonely, we can spend time with them. When we find ourselves feeling unloved or ignored, we can offer the love and attention we need to someone else. In giving, we receive much more in return - and that's a promise we can trust. Just for today: I will share the world with others, knowing they are just as important as I am. I will nourish my spirit by giving of myself. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Give to the world all that you have, And the best will come back to you. --Mary Ainge De Vere When we share something of our own with a friend, it gives both of us a special feeling. Generosity blesses the giver as much as the receiver. Sometimes we feel selfish, wanting to hoard all our treats or treasures. But when we secretly hide them away, we cheat even ourselves from enjoying them. Giving love and friendship to others works in just the same way. When we express love and kindness to others, we feel more love toward ourselves. Though we may not understand just how it works, we can be certain it does. The more of anything we give away to others, the greater our own rewards will be. How can I practice generosity today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark. ---Rabindranath Tagore There may be many things in our lives that seem unsure or doubtful. Whatever our hope or personal need today, we are not given the knowledge that tells us how things will turn out. In the predawn darkness we don't know how the day will unfold. Sometimes faith is simply a matter of continuing with our program in the midst of our doubt. Then we can be certain that whatever direction events take, whatever pain or trial we must deal with, we will still have ourselves because we have been faithful today. Ultimately, it is when we have ourselves and our integrity that we are on the recovery path. It is our faith that keeps us there regardless of the setbacks and personal moments of darkness we each must meet. I will be faithful to my program, even in the darkest moment of doubt or fear, and it will carry me through. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else's life, not even your own child's. The influence you exert is through your own life and what you become yourself. --Eleanor Roosevelt Taking full responsibility for who we are, choosing friends, making plans for personal achievement, consciously deciding day by day where we want to go with our lives, ushers in adventure such as we've never known. For many of us, months and years were wasted while we passively hid from life in alcohol, drugs, food, and other people. But we are breathing new life today. Recovery offers us, daily, the opportunity to participate in the adventure of life. It offers us the opportunity to share our talents, our special gifts with those with whom we share moments of time. We are becoming, every moment of time. As are our friends. Discovering who and what we really are, alone and with one another within our experiences is worthy of celebration. I will congratulate others and myself today. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Expectations of Others It is our job to identify our needs, and then determine a balanced way of getting those needs met. We ultimately expect our Higher Power and the Universe - not one particular person - to be our source. It is unreasonable to expect anyone to be able or willing to meet our every request. We are responsible for asking for what we want and need. It's the other person's responsibility to freely choose whether or not to respond to our request. If we try to coerce or force another to be there for us, that's controlling. There's a difference between asking and demanding. We want love that is freely given. It is unreasonable and unhealthy to expect one person to be the source for meeting all our needs. Ultimately, we will become angry and resentful, maybe even punishing, toward that person for not supporting us as we expected. It is reasonable to have certain and well defined expectations of our spouse, children, and friends. If a person cannot or will not be there for us, then we need to take responsibility for ourselves in that relationship. We may need to set a boundary, alter our expectations, or change the limits of the relationship to accommodate that person's unavailability. We do this for ourselves. It is reasonable to sprinkle our wants and needs around and to be realistic about how much we ask or expect of any particular person. We can trust ourselves to know what's reasonable. The issue of expectations goes back to knowing that we are responsible for identifying our needs, believing they deserve to get met, and discover an appropriate, satisfactory way to do that in our life. Today, I will strive for reasonable expectations about getting my needs met in relationships. Today I know that I am powerless over all the addictions, obsessions, compulsions and dependencies in my life. Today I am willing to let them go to a power greater than myself. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey to the Heart for December Discover Common Bonds "So many people have lost their families," the man said to me. "I have. But I'm beginning to discover that I'm part of a larger family,too. I'm beginning to see my connections to people all over the world." We all have people we love deeply and dearly, those people we call our family. We have blood ties, genetic ties, long-term relationships with the people in our life. But as we open our hearts, we'll discover a larger family,too. We have a kinship with those we've never met, even if they live in other cultures. We share many of the same emotional responses to the experiences in our lives, even though our journey may be taking place on different parts of the planet. If we study history we will see our connection to those who have lived before. The hardships they experienced, the lessons they had to face, were similar in many ways to those we face today. Lessons repeat themselves. The ones that are true seem to last. That's why they're called universal truths. What are you going through in your life right now? Don't feel you're the only one. Open your eyes. Open your heart to your connections with your larger family. Let them share their stories with you. Let them share their strengths, hopes, fears, and joys. Stop looking for what's different and what makes you separate and apart. Go on an adventure of discovering your common bonds. You're not alone. We're in this together. That's why it's called universal love. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go It’s sweet right now It was an odd friendship right from the start. I was in a local store, trying to buy some new rocks– a crystal, maybe some lapis– someting beautiful to change the energy in my house. “Kyle can help you out,” the salesclerk said. “He knows all about our stones.” Kyle talked to me for a while about what stones I might like. Then I left the store. A few days later, I wandered back in, and we talked a little more. By the time the first year passed, we had become pretty good friends. At that time, neither of us had a romantic relationship in our lives. We just hung out, went to restaurants, saw movies together, and talked on the phone. One year passed, then two, then three, then five. We started a bookstore together, and together we closed it down. Now Kyle’s seeing someone romantically. I am, too. We’re still best friends, but the wheel of life has turned again. We were talking on the phone just the other day. “For all our complaining and grumbling and carrying on, we sure had some good times,” I said. “Yes,” he agreed. “This is one of the best times in my life.” The ordinary moments that we each live through, in retrospect, look so rich and full. Why don’t we take all that wisdom and all that poignant reminiscing and realize that we’re having the best time in our life right now? God, this is the day you have made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. *************************************** Pushing Buttons Untended Pain by Madisyn Taylor When somebody continues to open our old wounds on purpose, they must be told that their behavior is no longer welcome. We’ve all had our buttons pushed to the point where we feel we can’t take it any more, and chances are, we’ve all pushed somebody else’s buttons, with or without knowing it. The button pusher may not be conscious of what they’re doing, but in the end the buttons belong to us, and we are the ones who must deal with what comes up. The more we take responsibility for our own feelings and reactions, the less tender these buttons will be. We’ve all had the experience of having someone snap at us, seemingly out of nowhere. This happens when we unconsciously push a button in someone else we didn’t even know was there. This can happen with a complete stranger and sometimes with a person we’ve known and been close to for years. We ourselves may have a relationship with someone whose buttons we secretly like to push. Buttons are just soft spots that have been touched one too many times, and they symbolize some pain that needs to be acknowledged and healed. This may be a wound from childhood, or some recent trauma, that we haven’t adequately tended. Whatever the case, when our buttons get pushed, the person who most needs our attention and caring is us, and blaming the button pusher only distracts us from finding a true resolution to our suffering. At the same time, if someone continually opens our wounds so that they never have time to heal, we are well within our rights to set a boundary with that person. Compulsive button pushers, who seem to find pleasure or satisfaction in hurting us, are not welcome in our personal space. In the end, knowing where our buttons are enables us to do the work necessary to heal. Freedom comes when we deal with the pain behind the button, thus disconnecting our automatic reaction to being pushed. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When we compulsively strive for perfection, we invariably injure ourselves. For one thing, we end up creating big problems from little ones. For another, we become frustrated and filled with despair when we’re unable to meet the impossible goals we’ve set for ourselves. And finally, we decrease our capability to deal with life and reality as it is. Can I learn to yield a little, here and there? Can I apply myself with a quiet mind only to what is possible and attainable? Today I Pray May I see that striving for an impossible accomplishment provides me with an ever-ready excuse for not making it. It is also an indication of my loss of reality-sense which ought to involve knowing what I can do and then doing it. With the help of the group and my Higher Power, may I learn to set “reasonable goals.” These may seem ridiculously small to me, after years of “thinking big.” But, by breaking down my projects into several smaller ones, may I find that I actually can accomplish some high goals. Today I Will Remember Break down large goals into smaller ones. *************************************** One More Day Change does not change tradition. If strengthens it. Change is a challenge and an opportunity, not a threat. – Prince Philip At holiday times and anniversaries and birthdays, we may lament, “I can’t entertain anymore. I just don’t have the room. I don’t have the strength either.” Is what we are telling ourselves really true? Are our friends and families so shallow that they come to our homes only for roast beef or turkey? Do we really have to give up the joy of having company? Quickly we recognize the nonsense of such thoughts and cope with this situation in the same way we have with so many others — we change and we adapt. We can still welcome our loved ones into our homes. In the simpler meals and the casual atmosphere, our friends and family will find what they have come for — assurance that we still value their company. I will serve my guest as always — with love and fellowship. ************************************ Food For Thought A No Fault Illness Formerly, we may have blamed our parents, a disappointment in love, economic insecurity, or a million other factors for our addiction to compulsive overeating. We probably spent much time and energy trying to figure out why we overate. When we get honest with ourselves, we assume the responsibility for our own actions, instead of trying to shift it somewhere else. Many of us come to believe that we would be compulsive overeaters no matter what the circumstances of our lives. As we recover, we see that the why of our illness is unanswerable and unimportant. What counts is how we control it. We do not continue to berate ourselves for having this illness, or consider ourselves physically, morally, or spiritually inferior for having contracted it. Blaming ourselves is as useless as blaming someone else. We accept the fact that through no one's fault we have the disease of compulsive overeating. Then we get on with the business of learning to control this illness with the help of our Higher Power and the OA program. I blame no one for my illness. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ SPIRITUALITY VS RELIGION ~ Religion is a way for people to get to heaven, and Spirituality is a way for people to get out of hell. Anonymous Twelve Stepper I was raised in a home that was strongly religious. All of its standards and rules were based on religion, and on the standards of a rigid God Who is perfect, and Who calls His followers to be perfect. My mother is a person who seemed to find her mission in life by telling people how far they fell short of that perfection. I learned very early that I did not and would never measure up; that being part of religion meant accepting my inability to excel at its tenets. But when I came into this program, I began to learn about spirtuality. I learned about God from people who were not perfect, and who could accept themselves as they are. I learned about mercy and forgiveness from people with different faiths than my own; I learned about trusting God from people who did not even believe in a Supreme Being. What I learned has put "flesh" on the words of the Scriptures that I learned as a child. It has put life into my faith, for the first time, and it has helped me learn that I am worthwhile and acceptable just as I am. One Day at a Time . . . I give my life into the keeping of the God of my understanding, and know that my best is the least, and the most, that He expects from me. Donna ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people - was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more important than whether we should see newsreels of lunar flight? Of course it was. - Pg. 52 - We Agnostics Hour To Hour - Book - Quote When intense cravings for our drug of choice overwhelm us, we immediately talk to another person in recovery, no matter the time. Our program teaches us to rely on each other and they will welcome the contact! Give me the strength to contact another clean and sober person BEFORE I think of satisfying that craving. The Creative Power of My Thoughts Today, I recognize that I tend to produce in my life what I feel is true for myself. Thoughts have a creative power of their own. If I look closely, I can see my thoughts come to life. I create the possibility of what I would like by first experiencing it in my mind. I will visualize what I would like to have in my life in my mind's eye. I will accept what I see in my inner eye as being there for me, and I will fully participate in my vision as if it were mine. I will be specific about what I see, smell, feel, and I will accept my inner vision as fully as possible. I will enjoy my vision, then let it go and move on in my day, releasing it with no thought of controlling it further. I will let it happen, if it is right for me, in God's time. All good things are possible for me. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote We may have empathy for your situation but we will not pity you. We know that pitying you leads to you pitying yourself which leads to mind-affecting chemicals. Rather than pity you, if you need an attitude adjustment, it's very likely a fellow group member will let you know. Attitudes are contagious. Is mine worth catching? "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Don't 'people please', 'Higher Power Please.' Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I know that I have done the best I can with my life. Today I know that I am at choice, and what I choose right now creates new memories. Today I choose to continue to do the very best. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote They take good scotch, put juice, soda, bitters and God knows what in it, shake it up, stick an umbrella in it - That's alcohol abuse. - Anon.
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"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
12-11-2024, 06:27 AM | #21 |
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December 21
Daily Reflections LISTEN, SHARE AND PRAY When working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels. You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 100 When trying to help a fellow alcoholic, I've given in to an impulse to give advice, and perhaps that's inevitable. But allowing others the right to be wrong reaps its own benefits. The best I can do - and it sounds easier than it is to put into practice - is to listen, share personal experience, and pray for others. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Have I ceased being inwardly defeated, at war with myself? Have I given myself freely to A.A. and to the Higher Power? Have I got over being sick inside? Am I still wandering mentally or am I "on the beam?" I can face anything, if I am sure I am on the way. When I am sure, I should bet my life on A.A. I have learned how the program works. Now will I follow it with all I have, with all I can give, with all my might, with all my life? Am I going to let A.A. principles guide the rest of my life? Meditation For The Day In this time of quiet meditation, follow the pressure of the Lord's leading. In all decisions to be made today, yield to the gentle pressure of your conscience. Stay or go as that pressure indicates. Take the events of today as part of God's planning and ordering. He may lead you to a right decision. Wait quietly until you have an inner urge, a leading, a feeling that a thing is right, a pressure on your will by the spirit of God. Prayer For The Day I pray that today I may try to follow the inner pressure of God's leading. I pray that I may try to follow my conscience and do what seems right today. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Neither Dependence nor Self-Sufficiency, p.265 When we insisted, like infants, that people protect and take care of us or that the world owed us a living, then the result was unfortunate. The people we most loved often pushed us aside or perhaps deserted us entirely. Our disillusionment was hard to bear. We failed to see that, though adult in years, we were still behaving childishly, trying to turn everybody--friends, wives, husbands, even the world itself--into protective parents. We refused to learn that overdependence upon people is unsuccessful because all people are fallible, and even the best of them will sometimes let us down, especially when our demands for attention become unreasonable. ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Keeping the Faith with Guidance Good Orderly Direction Does guidance from our Higher Power always come through? We must believe that it does, even when we don't seem to receive a visible answer. Spiritual guidance usually doesn't come as we think it should. What we're likely to find instead is that over time, a number of unrelated events come together for a good purpose. Although this appears to be chance or coincidence, very important outcomes often develop from simple happenings___ maybe just from meeting someone on the street. We can never really determine how any chain of events will play out. The best we can do is to continue seeking guidance while following the highest principles in our program. Many chance happenings will be recognized as guidance when we look back at an entire chain of events. My best way to seek guidance is simply to remember today that my life and affairs are in God's care and keeping. The highest good will come from this. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Don't give your advice before you are called upon. Desiderius Erasmus If someone wants your advice, the person will ask for it. That's one reason why in Twelve Step programs we don't go around trying to talk people into joining. But people will ask us for advice. They'll see how we've changed, and they'll want what we have. All we have to do is tell them where we found it--in AA, NA or another Twelve Step group. We don't tell them what to do. We tell them our own story--what it was like, what happened, and where we are now. And we invite them to join us. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me carry the healing message of the program to these who ask for advice. Action for the Day: I'll make a decision to spend time with the next person who ask for my help. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Every person is responsible for all the good within the scope of her abilities, and no more . . . --Gail Hamilton We have been given the gift of life. Our recovery validates that fact. Our pleasure with that gift is best expressed by the fullness with which we greet and live life. We need not back off from the invitations our experiences offer. Each one of them gives us a chance, a bit different from all other chances, to fulfill part of our purpose in the lives of others. It has been said that the most prayerful life is the one most actively lived. Full encounter with each moment is evidence of our trust in the now and thus our trust in our higher power. When we fear what may come or worry over what has gone before, we're not trusting in God. Growth in the program will help us remember that fact, thus releasing us to participate more actively in the special circumstances of our lives. When we look around us today, we know that the persons in our midst need our best, and they're not there by accident but by Divine appointment. We can offer them the best we have--acceptance, love, support, our prayers, and we can know that is God's plan for our lives and theirs, I will celebrate my opportunities for goodness today. They'll bless me in turn. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition BILL'S STORY The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me. For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me---and He came. But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself. And so it had been ever since. How blind had I been. pp. 12-13 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Because I'm An Alcoholic This drinker finally found the answer to her nagging question, "Why?" I needed a drink to go anyplace--to the theater, a party, a date, and later, to work. I would leave my apartment, lock the door, and start down the stairs, and then turn around and go back in for another drink to get me where I planned to go. I needed a drink to do anything--to write, to cook, to clean the house, to paint the walls, to take a bath. p. 341 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Four - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." But in A.A. we slowly learned that something had to be done about our vengeful resentments, self-pity, and unwarranted pride. We had to see that every time we played the big shot, we turned people against us. We had to see that when we harbored grudges and planned revenge for such defeats, we were really beating ourselves with the club of anger we had intended to use on others. We learned that if we were seriously disturbed, our first need was to quiet that disturbance, regardless of who or what we thought caused it. p. 47 ************************************************** ********* Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. --Arnold Schwarzenegger Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. --Buddha In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us. --Flora Edwards As long as I am willing, God will always provide the answers. No one said I would like them, but I accept them. --Shelley "Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must undergo the fatigue of supporting it." --Thomas Paine Sobriety is a journey of joyful discovery. Recovery is not a race. Every recovery from alcoholism began with one sober hour. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation ORIGINALITY "Originality exists in every individual because each of us differ from the others. We are all primary --numbers divisible only by ourselves." Jean Guitton For too many years I tried to be "the same" as other people; matched their styles, repeated their words, did what they wanted, lived to please a crowd of people I did not really know and they certainly did not know me! I said other people's prayers, quoted other people's opinions and memorized the ideas of others and I felt empty. Today I value the lives of others but I am slowly beginning to explore my place in this universe. Today I accept the "specialness" that is me; that uniqueness makes me God's miracle. Now others are listening and benefiting from my life. ************************************************** ********* For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Ephesians 5:8-10 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" "What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?" He answered: "`Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, `Love your neighbor as yourself.'" "You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live." Luke 10:25-28 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Growth is not easy. It comes from fully experiencing each situation and mastering it with understanding. Lord, Your presence in my life dispels my fears and guides me through all of life's circumstances. Today be cheerful when it is difficult and patient when that, too, is difficult. Lord, I will let Your love for me flow through me and touch those around me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Acceptance And Change "Freedom to change seems to come after acceptance of ourselves." Basic Text pg. 56 Fear and denial are the opposites of acceptance. None of us are perfect, even in our own eyes; all of us have certain traits that, given the chance, we would like to change. We sometimes become overwhelmed when contemplating how far short we fall of our ideals, so overwhelmed that we fear there's no chance of becoming the people we'd like to be. That's when our defense mechanism of denial kicks in, taking us to the opposite extreme: nothing about ourselves needs changing, we tell ourselves, so why worry? Neither extreme gives us the freedom to change. Whether we are long-time NA members or new to recovery, the freedom to change is acquired by working the Twelve Steps. When we admit our powerlessness and the unmanageability of our lives, we counteract the lie that says we don't have to change. In coming to believe that a Power greater than we are can help us, we lose our fear that we are damaged beyond repair; we come to believe we can change. We turn ourselves over to the care of the God of our understanding and tap the strength we need to make a thorough, honest examination of ourselves. We admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being what we've found. We accept the good and the bad in ourselves; with this acceptance, we become free to change. Just for today: I want to change. By working the steps, I will counter fear and denial and find the acceptance needed to change. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I came to see the damage that was done and the treasures that prevail. --Adrienne Rich It takes great courage to face ourselves--to look honestly and fearlessly at our behavior, especially if we have done and said things we are not proud of. We may have caused a lot of sadness in our own and others' lives. It's not easy to look at. But let's remember, too, that what we do and say is not all of who we are. And let's also look at the treasures in ourselves--those things we have said and done that have brought great comfort, joy, and love into the lives of others. Beneath the negative parts of ourselves, deep within us, is a kernel of good. Let's look for that as well, and water it so it can grow--so we can grow into the persons we are meant to be. What is the best part of me, and how can I share it today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. He not busy being born is busy dying. --Bob Dylan An old story has been told of men in the program asking an alcoholic who had a slip, "What Step were you working on at the time?" The man who slipped was not working on any Step, and that is part of how he lost his sobriety. The message of the story is that when we are not busy being born spiritually, we are losing ground. It is essential to always be focusing our attention on one of the Steps. Each time we work a Step again, we are at a new place in life, and the Step will inspire something new in us just as it did the first time. Although we may know the program well, keeping it as our center protects us from being reactive to the events and pressures in our lives. We are less likely to feel overwhelmed by situations or react with shame or anger. As long as we live, we are in need of being renewed. Today, I will choose one of the Steps and think about its meaning for me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Every person is responsible for all the good within the scope of her abilities, and no more . . . --Gail Hamilton We have been given the gift of life. Our recovery validates that fact. Our pleasure with that gift is best expressed by the fullness with which we greet and live life. We need not back off from the invitations our experiences offer. Each one of them gives us a chance, a bit different from all other chances, to fulfill part of our purpose in the lives of others. It has been said that the most prayerful life is the one most actively lived. Full encounter with each moment is evidence of our trust in the now and thus our trust in our higher power. When we fear what may come or worry over what has gone before, we're not trusting in God. Growth in the program will help us remember that fact, thus releasing us to participate more actively in the special circumstances of our lives. When we look around us today, we know that the persons in our midst need our best, and they're not there by accident but by Divine appointment. We can offer them the best we have--acceptance, love, support, our prayers, and we can know that is God's plan for our lives and theirs, I will celebrate my opportunities for goodness today. They'll bless me in turn. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Balance Strive for balanced expectations of others. Strive for healthy tolerance. In the past, we may have tolerated too much or too little. We may have expected too much or too little. We may swing from tolerating abuse, mistreatment, and deception to refusing to tolerate normal, human, imperfect behaviors from people. Although it's preferable not to remain in either extreme too long, that is how people change - real people who struggle imperfectly toward better lives, improved relationships, and more effective relationship behaviors. But if we are open to ourselves and to the recovery process, we will, at some time, begin another transition: it becomes time to move away from extremes, toward balance. We can trust ourselves and the recovery process to bring us to a balanced place of tolerance, giving, understanding, and expectations - of others and ourselves. We can each find our own path to balance as we begin and continue recovery. Today, I will practice acceptance with others and myself for the way we change. If I have had to swing to the other extreme of a behavior, I will accept that as appropriate, for a time. But I will make my goal one of balanced tolerance and expectations of others and myself. Today I seek spiritual understanding beyond everything else. I choose peace and love and joy as my goals. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Reduce Your Stress “Stress can be caused by many things,” a man, a healing professional, said. “It can be caused by toxins in the air, by food, work, money, or love. And sometimes tension and stress are caused by reacting to old beliefs– the messages in your mind.” We can’t always eliminate the situations that produce stress. Some stress in life is inevitable; it is part of being alive. Stress is often the impetus that moves us forward into growth, into emotional release and healing, into awareness and change. While we can’t and don’t want to eliminate all the stress in our lives, we can reduce its impact. We can eat foods we respond well to. We can monitor the quality of the air we breathe in many situations. We can leave a work or love situation that has become too stressful, or we can take better care of ourselves in those situations we choose to stay in. And we can work on changing stress-producing beliefs within ourselves. I can’t measure up. I can’t get the job done. I won’t be liked. I can’t trust myself. Many of these beliefs are outdated reactions to other times in our lives, and now we know we have the power to change them. What’s causing stress in your life? Do the things you can to reduce stress in your life. Reduce as much toxicity in your environment and in yourself as you can. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Lose those expectations So you meet someone, become infatuated, date, and allow your mind to create an exaggerated image of that person. Soon you find that he’s your soul mate. You don’t want to live without him; he means everything to you. And then he stumbles, somewhere around three months, maybe six months. He fails to meet your expectations. He loses soul mate status. “You just aren’t the person I thought you were,” you say, walking out the door. Of course he isn’t. He’s a person, not a figment of your imagination. Lighten up. Let each person be themselves. When we’re with someone, either as a friend or as a lover, a good deal of the success or failure of the relationship can be traced to our expectations. We get angry when we expect someone to behave in a certain way and he or she doesn’t. We feel cheated, lied to, and disappointed. Here we stacked all of our chips on a certain number coming up, and when it doesn’t, we get mad. Lose those expectations. If you enjoy another person’s company, then enjoy it cleanly and without expectations. People are people. They will stumble, they will get back up again– or not. You cannot control them. All you can do is learn from them, love them, and enjoy their company when they’re around. Drop the expectations. Allow people to just be themselves. Appreciate them for why they are. Let the love that you have for them grow out of that appreciation, instead of out of what you expect in what writer Natalie Goldberg calls “your monkey mind.” God, help me remember that when I lose my expectations I just might find real love. *************************************** Listening with Your Heart Less Thinking and More Feeling by Madisyn Taylor When we begin to listen with our hearts rather than our heads, our whole world changes and becomes softer. Most of us were born and raised in cultures that value the head over the heart and, as a result, we place our own hearts below our heads in a sort of inner hierarchy of which we may not be conscious. What this means is that we tend to listen and respond from the neck up, often leaving the rest of our bodies with little or no say in most matters. This is a physical habit, which sometimes feels as ingrained as the way we breathe or walk. However, with effort and awareness, we can shift the energy into our hearts, listening and responding from this much deeper, more resonant place. The brain has a masterful way of imposing structure and order on the world, creating divisions and categories, devising plans and strategies. In many ways, we have our brains to thank for our survival on this planet. However, as is so clear at this time, we also need the wisdom of our hearts if we wish to continue surviving in a viable way. When we listen from our heart, the logical grid of the brain tends to soften and melt, which enables us to perceive the interconnectedness beneath the divisions and categories we use to organize the world. We begin to understand that just as the heart underlies the brain, this interconnectedness underlies everything. Many agree that this is the most important work we can do at this time in history, and there are many practices at our disposal. For a simple start, try sitting with a friend and asking him to tell you about his life at this moment. For 10 minutes or more, try to listen without responding verbally, offering suggestions, or brainstorming solutions. Instead, breathe into your heart and your belly, listening and feeling instead of thinking. When you do this, you may find that it’s much more difficult to offer advice and much easier to identify with the feelings your friend is sharing. You may also find that your friend opens up more, goes deeper, and feels he has really been heard. If you also feel great warmth and compassion, almost as if you are seeing your friend for the first time, then you will know that you have begun to tap the power of listening with your heart. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Each of us in The Program can, in our own time and own way, reach the triumphant spiritual awakening that is described in the Twelfth Step. The spiritual awakening is a deep-down knowledge that we are no longer alone and helpless. It’s also a deep-down awareness that we’ve learned certain truths which we can now transmit to others so that perhaps they, too, can be helped. Am I keeping myself in constant readiness for the spiritual awakening which is certain to come to me as I practice The Steps and surrender my will to God’s will? Today I Pray May I be steady, not expecting that my spiritual awakening will startle me like an alarm clock into sudden awareness of a Higher Power. It may settle on me so quietly that I may not recognize precisely when my money of awareness comes. The clue may come in my desire to Twelfth_Step others. May I realize, then, that I have accepted the principles of The Program and am at home with the spiritual transformation I feel in myself. Today I Will Remember My spiritual awakening is my first private moment with God. *************************************** One More Day To know after absences the familiar street and road and village and house is to know again the satisfaction of home. – Hal Borland Home is a word that carries all kinds of meanings for us. For the majority, home has always been our anchor — the place where we can go even when we have had the worst possible of all days. Home usually means love, but it certainly means security and comfort. As the years go by we understand that home has little to do with a physical structure. It can be a tiny apartment or an elaborate mansion. Or — better still — it can be the special comfort and security we feel within ourselves. It is , after all, what we bring to it and to the people around us. Home is, and always has been, where our heart is. My home acts as one of the roots of my life, and it has all the qualities that I bring to it. ************************************ Food For Thought Paradoxes Our program contains some surprising paradoxes. When we admit that we are powerless, we can receive Power. When we accept what we do not like, it begins to change. As long as we remember we are sick, we can continue to recover. The key to these paradoxes is our willingness to believe in a Higher Power. By ourselves, we are weak, ineffectual, and sick. When operating in accordance with the will of the Power greater than ourselves, our potential is limitless. Until we admit defeat, we will not succeed with the OA program. The biggest defeat is the one that is dealt to our illusions of self-reliance and self-sufficiency. As long as we insist on trying to control our lives by ourselves, we will be confused. It is by relinquishing control that we gain strength and are freed from our compulsion and obsession. We save our lives by giving them away. May I accept the paradoxes that I do not understand. ***************************************** One Day At A Time BABY STEPS "I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble." Helen Keller (born Helen Adams Keller (1880 – 1968) American author, activist and lecturer and the first deafblind person to graduate from college). From as far back as I can remember, I believed that, in order to be worthy or loved, I had to achieve great things. It didn't matter what it was but I set out to be the best at whatever I did, hoping that would make me feel better. Whether it was academic or one of the many diets or diet clubs I tried, it was the same story, and failure was totally unacceptable. Delayed gratification was definitely not part of my vocabulary, and so things had to be done or achieved in record time. If I wanted something done, it had to be done today, if not yesterday. Everything I did was done compulsively. I was, as one person in a meeting described, a "human doing," not a "human being". Of course the things I could never really achieve were permanent weight loss and the serenity that comes with recovery. These seemed to elude me when I first came into the program, mainly because I expected to do it perfectly and in a very short time. After all, I had lost weight before, and quickly too. I had to realize that recovery is not a race, that this is a journey, not a destination. I don't have to do it all in one day, nor do I have to be the best at it. All I need to do is to take baby steps, one day at a time, and I will recover as God wills me to do. I just need to put one foot in front of the other and do what is before me. Recovery is cumulative and I build on it, day by day. One Day at a Time . . . I do the footwork and put my trust in my Higher Power, believing that, as I do what I need to do for today, God's healing power will come to me in the form of recovery. Sharon S. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon. - Pg. 59 - How It Works Hour To Hour - Book - Quote There is a certain universality to the truths taught in our 12 step programs. They are nothing new. These principles are derived from eons of experience and spirituality. What is new is our personal understanding that living these principles gives us a reprieve from our addiction. Thank you God, as I understand You, for my daily reprieve from addiction based on my sincere attempt to practice these principles. Standing in Self Today, I own the truth of my recovery. If I am to stand centered and strong within my life and self, I will need to plant a garden within my own soul. A garden for me to nurture and to nurture me. A haven of beauty. I will find my own voice and sing my song because if I don't sing it, it will not be sung. It is all I have and it is enough. I do not need to prove anything to anyone anymore. I have come home - to me. The truth is, I was here all along, only I forgot to look for myself. Instead, I searched for me in other people's meaning and became lost in their stories. I am not lost today. I know that there is nowhere to look for me but within myself, and no one to lead me there but me. Thank you, life, for letting me see this. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote When working Steps Six and Seven we honestly have to ask ourselves 'Do I really want to give up the defect? Or do I just want to give up the result of the defect?' Being an alcoholic does not give me the excuse to act alcoholically. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book You can be a human being-you don't have to be a human doing. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I trust God's plan for me today. I know that I am being guided at all times. I know all I need to know in any given moment. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Knowing why I was an alcoholic doesn't help. The ship hits an iceberg, it's sinking, everyone is rowing away. But you're on the deck saying; 'I'm not leaving this baby until I understand what happened.' - Clancy I.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
12-15-2024, 04:16 AM | #22 |
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December 22
Daily Reflections PRINCIPLES, NOT PERSONALITIES The way our "worthy" alcoholics have sometimes tried to judge the "less worthy" is, as we look back on it, rather comical. Imagine, if you can, one alcoholic judging another! THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 37 Who am I to judge anyone? When I first entered the Fellowship I found that I liked everyone. After all, A.A. was going to help me to a better way of life without alcohol. The reality was that I couldn't possibly like everyone, nor they me. As I've grown in the Fellowship, I've learned to love everyone just from listening to what they had to say. That person over there, or the one right here, may be the one God has chosen to give me the message I need for today. I must always remember to place principles above personalities. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day As we look back over our drinking careers, we must realize that our lives were a mess because we were a mess inside. The trouble was in us, not in life itself. Life itself was good enough, but we were looking at it the wrong way. We were looking at life through the bottom of a whiskey glass, and it was distorted. We could not see all the beauty and goodness and purpose in the world, because our vision was blurred. We were in a house with one-way glass in the windows. People could see us but we could not look out and see them and see what life meant to them and should mean to us. We were blind then, but now we can see. Can I now look at life as it really is? Meditation For The Day Fear no evil, because the power of God can conquer evil. Evil has power to seriously hurt only those who do not place themselves under the protection of the Higher Power. This is not a question of feeling, it is an assured fact of our experience. Say to yourself with assurance that whatever it is, no evil can seriously harm you as long as you depend on the Higher Power. Be sure of the protection of God's grace. Prayer For The Day I pray that fear of evil will not get me down. I pray that I may try to place myself today under the protection of God's grace. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It The Step That Keeps Us growing, p.264 Sometimes, when friends tell us how well we are doing, we know better inside. We know we aren't doing well enough. We still can't handle life, as life is. There must be a serious flaw somewhere in our spiritual practice and development. What, then, is it? The chances are better than even that we shall locate our trouble in our misunderstanding or neglect of A.A.'s Step Eleven--prayer, meditation, and the guidance of God. The other Steps can keep most of us sober and somehow functioning. But Step Eleven can keep us growing, if we try hard and work at it continually. Grapevine, June 1958 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Watching what we think Personal Inventory. It's healthy for AA members to confess personal difficulties with destructive thinking. When we find ourselves becoming too irritable or impatient, it's important to admit this in meetings or one-on-one discussions. Usually, just the admission of the problem helps solve it. It's only false pride that makes us think we should be "above" destructive thinking. As human beings, we'll be susceptible to human failings no matter how long we've been sober. If we continue to watch what we think, we'll also be able to head off very serious problem before they get out of control. Far from being a sign that we're not working the program, the practice of weeding out our current faults is the Tenth Step in action. Continuing to take personal inventory and admitting our wrongs are a safeguard against trouble. Destructive thinking is no respecter of persons, and even as an older member, I could lapse into it today. I always have the Tenth Step, however, to get me back on track. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple It is possible to be different and still be right.--Anne Wilson Schaef Each of us is special. In some ways we're all different. It's a good thing too. We'd be bored if we were all the same. Sometimes though, we try to hide the special things about us. We don't want to be "different." But the ways that we're different makes us special. Others have a knack of fixing things. Some of us make beautiful art. Others are great with kids. Our Higher Power made us as different, as unique, as beautiful snowflakes. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me use my special gifts the way You want me to. Help me be thankful that You have given me something special to share with others. Action for the Day: I'll think of one thing about me that's special. I'll talk with my sponsor about it. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Every person is responsible for all the good within the scope of her abilities, and no more . . . --Gail Hamilton We have been given the gift of life. Our recovery validates that fact. Our pleasure with that gift is best expressed by the fullness with which we greet and live life. We need not back off from the invitations our experiences offer. Each one of them gives us a chance, a bit different from all other chances, to fulfill part of our purpose in the lives of others. It has been said that the most prayerful life is the one most actively lived. Full encounter with each moment is evidence of our trust in the now and thus our trust in our higher power. When we fear what may come or worry over what has gone before, we're not trusting in God. Growth in the program will help us remember that fact, thus releasing us to participate more actively in the special circumstances of our lives. When we look around us today, we know that the persons in our midst need our best, and they're not there by accident but by Divine appointment. We can offer them the best we have--acceptance, love, support, our prayers, and we can know that is God's plan for our lives and theirs, I will celebrate my opportunities for goodness today. They'll bless me in turn. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition BILL'S STORY At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens. There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since. p. 13 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Because I'm An Alcoholic This drinker finally found the answer to her nagging question, "Why?" When I passed out and fell into bed early, I woke up at four or five and had Irish coffee to start the day. I discovered beer was better than orange juice to ease my hangover. Afraid my colleagues or students would smell my breath at work, I was careful to keep my distance. When I got up late and rushed off to the lab, fortified only with coffee, my hands shook so badly it was impossible to weigh out the milligrams of compounds needed for an experiment. When I went out to lunch with another alcoholic, we might never make it back to work that day. pp. 341-342 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Four - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." To see how erratic emotions victimized us often took a long time. We could perceive them quickly in others, but only slowly in ourselves. First of all, we had to admit that we had many of these defects, even though such disclosures were painful and humiliating. Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the word "blame" from our speech and thought. This required great willingness even to begin. But once over the first two or three high hurdles, the course ahead began to look easier. For we had started to get perspective on ourselves, which is another way of saying that we were gaining in humility. pp. 47-48 ************************************************** ********* Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When The language of truth is simple. --Czech Proverb "Laughter is by definition healthy." --Doris Lessing As long as a man stands in his own way, everything seems to be in his way. --Ralph Waldo Emerson Your vision will become clear only when You can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. --Carl Jung "Being quiet does not mean sacrificing productivity." --Jane Nelson ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PERSEVERANCE "Great works are performed, not by strength, but perseverance." -- Samuel Johnson Today I saw a large 200-pound man drunk in a parking lot. Last night I heard a frail mother celebrate ten years of sobriety. The difference? Perseverance. People get what they really want in life. If you want sobriety more than anything else, are prepared to go to any lengths, then nothing will stop you. Perseverance reveals the "walk" as well as the "talk". Today I need to remember that what is worth having requires sacrifice and effort. God helps those who are prepared to help themselves. Today I intend to help myself to sobriety. I pray that I may persevere through my fears towards my goal. ************************************************** ********* Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. Matthew 19:14 Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Timothy 4:12 Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love. 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 The grace of the Lord Jesus be with you. My love to all of you in Christ Jesus. Amen. 1 Corinthians 16:23-24 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration If you want peace and goodness in your life you must be kind and loving. Lord, may I avoid creating misery so that my life will reflect my love for You. God's blessings never end and His mercies are forever. Lord, may I love others as You love me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today A New Way To Live "When at the end of the road we find that we can no longer function as a human being, either with or without drugs, we all face the same dilemma.... Either go on as best we can to the bitter ends-jails, institutions, or death-or find a new way to live." Basic Text pg. 84 What was the worst aspect of active addiction? For many of us, it wasn't the chance that we might die some day of our disease. The worst part was the living death we experienced every day, the never-ending meaninglessness of life. We felt like walking ghosts, not living, loving parts of the world around us. In recovery, we've come to believe that we're here for a reason: to love ourselves and to love others. In working the Twelve Steps, we have learned to accept ourselves. With that self-acceptance has come self-respect. We have seen that everything we do has an effect on others; we are a part of the lives of those around us, and they of ours. We've begun to trust other people and to acknowledge our responsibility to them. In recovery, we've come back to life. We maintain our new lives by contributing to the welfare of others and seeking each day to do that better - that's where the Tenth, Eleventh, and Twelfth Steps come in. The days of living like a ghost are past, but only so long as we actively seek to be healthy, loving, contributing parts of our own lives and the lives of others around us. Just for today: I have found a new way to live. Today, I will seek to serve others with love and to love myself. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. And the seasons, they go round and round And the painted ponies go up and down We can't return, we can only look Behind from where we came And go round and round and round in the circle game. --Joni Mitchell High in the mountains near Sun Valley, Idaho, is a small cabin. The cabin is always left open for hikers to rest and refresh themselves. There is food in the cabin and wood for a fire. Often, weary backpackers have arrived there, tired and thirsty, to find just the beverage or snack they needed to help them on their way. The cabin operates on a system of trust--if you use something in the cabin, you replace it with something else. Perhaps it is just the thing the next traveler needs to go on. It is a circle game. We are all part of a big circle. If we give of ourselves or do a favor for someone, eventually--sometimes years later--someone will do something for us that will help us on our way. We do these little deeds without expecting to be rewarded, and we can accept others' little gifts without feeling forever in someone's debt. These unselfish acts, stored in our mountain cabin, stand ready for the next traveler. What gift can I pass on to another today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. There isn't enough darkness in all the world to snuff out the light of one little candle. --Anonymous Our lives can be like a battle between darkness and light. The darkness might be in our moods when we wake in the morning with feelings of despair. Then we can turn to the light of a prayer for openness: "God help me feel your love and acceptance." The darkness is there when we are tempted to take advantage of a clerk who gives us too much change. Perhaps we tell ourselves, "Everyone does it, it won't matter if I do." Then the light comes as we remember that this program demands rigorous honesty, and each choice for honesty promotes our growth. The darkness may be when someone we care about is hurt or in danger, and we think, "I have to step in to prevent bad things from happening." Then we turn to our Higher Power for strength to stay in the relationship, but not control it. Today, I can take a leap of faith by choosing an action and accepting that one small choice for the light makes a difference - even in all the darkness. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. When action grows unprofitable, gather information; when information grows unprofitable, sleep. --Ursula K. LeGuin Sometimes we need to turn away from what's troubling us. Turn it over, says the Third Step. hanging onto a situation for which no solution is immediately apparent, only exaggerates the situation. It is often said the solution to any problem lies within it. However, turning the problem over and over in our minds keeps our attention on the outer appearance, not the inner solution. Rest, meditation, quiet attention to other matters, other persons, opens the way for God to reveal the solution. Every problem can be resolved. And no answer is ever withheld for long. We need to be open to it, though. We need to step away from our ego, outside of the problem and then listen fully to the words of friends, to the words that rise from our own hearts. Too much thinking, incessant analyzing, will keep any problem a problem. I will rest from my thoughts. I will give my attention wholly to the present. Therein will come the solution, and when least expected. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Good Things Coming Do not worry about how the good that has been planned for you will come. It will come. Do not worry, obsess, and think you have to control it, go out hunting for it, or tangle your mind trying to figure out how and when it will find you. It will find you. Surrender to your Higher Power each day. Trust your Higher Power. Then, stay peaceful. Trust and listen to yourself. That is how the good you want will come to you. Your healing. Your joy. Your relationships. Your solutions. That job. That desired change. That opportunity. It will come to you - naturally, with ease, and in a host of ways. That answer will come. The direction will come. The money. The idea. The energy. The creativity. The path will open itself to you. Trust that, for it has already been planned. It is futile, a waste and drain of energy, to worry about how it will come. It is already there. You have it already. It is in place. You just cannot see it! You will be brought to it, or it will be brought to you. Today, I will relax and trust that the good I need, will find me. Either through my leadings, or the leadings of others, all I want and need will come to me when the time is right. I can handle anything that comes up today... even if it is only a moment at a time. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Practice the Power of Respect It is a quiet power, one that caught me by surprise on my journey. I had heard about it before, but somehow, in the shuffle of life, I had forgotten it: respect. Respect is a spiritual power, a power of the heart, one that’s closely connected to gratitude, yet somehow different. It is an attitude toward people, toward life, toward ourselves that only takes a moment to convey, yet somehow has far-reaching effects. It does more than free people to be themselves, it encourages them to be their best. It honors people, life, and the mysterious connection we each have to the Divine. Have a series of life experiences caused you to forget respect? In your anger, did you decide that certain persons or groups of people were undeserving of respect? Has familiarity with yourself or another caused you to forget to practice respect? Let go of the past; it’s over. But your power to transform the future has just begun. Respect and honor yourself. Respect the needs of your body, the needs of your heart, and the dictates of your soul. Respect the lives of others. Respect the gift of life. Bow in spirit to all you meet. Bow to the gifts of the universe– the sun, moon, earth, sea, and stars. Honor all that lives, the trees, the wildflowers, the eagle soaring high. The deer in the woods, the squirrel scurrying up the tree, the june bug that lights on your shoulder. Each has its place in this world. So do you. Discover the power of respect. Then practice it often. let it change your world. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Say how sweet it is There’s so much talk about finding that extraordinary love of our life. Maybe everything we need to know about romantic love can be learned from our friends. We don’t expect our friends to change our life and make everything that’s wrong,right. We just expect them to be who they are, and then we let them be that. It’s part of being a friend. We don’t expect to like everything about our friends. We know they have defects of character. They do things occasionally that irritate us. We don’t expect our friends to entertain and amuse us, keeping us laughing and smiling all the time. We let them go through their ups and downs. Sometimes we just sit in silence with our friends, and we each keep our thoughts to ourselves. We don’t pick fights and create drama with our friends, just to keep passion alive. Usually we do everything we can to avoid fighting with our friends. We want our friendship to be a quiet, safe, peaceful place, a haven in our lives. We don’t expect our friends to turn our lives upside down, distracting us from our path. Usually if a friend attempts to wreak havoc in our lives, we run the other way. We wouldn’t let a friend hit us. And friends don’t talk mean. If an issue comes up, we usually carefully weigh the best way to talk about this issue with her or him. We don’t expect friends to be in perfect health all the time. We know that they will have issues to deal with as they walk along their own paths. We encourage them. We pray for them. But we don’t take their issues as our own, and we don’t take it personally when they need some time to focus on their own personal growth. In friendships, one person does not hold all the power. So despite the differences in our lives, we try to relate as equals. We’re tolerant of cycles in our friendships, knowing that at different times, each person has different needs, different experiences to go through. Sometimes there’s more time and energy to devote to the friendships. Other times, there’s less. We don’t expect our friends to be at our side twenty-four hours a day. We have our time together and value that, but then we each go our own way. We don’t try to force bonding with friends, or even force the relationship to be a friendship too fast. We let ourselves go through experiences together naturally, knowing that that’s how bonding takes place. I’m not a expert on marital love, but we might have a better chance at finding love if we treated our lover like a friend. God, help me find the middle ground between unrealistic expectations and no expectations at all. Help me cherish my relationships and not confuse heavy drama with romantic love. *************************************** Conditioned Response Reactions To Life Events Our experiences color everything. The events of the past can have a profound effect on how we see our lives now and what we choose to believe about our world. Our past experiences can also influence our emotional reactions and responses to present events. Each of us reacts to stimulus based on what we have learned in life. There is no right or wrong to it; it is simply the result of past experience. Later, when our strong feelings have passed, we may be surprised at our reactions. Yet when we face a similar situation, again our reactions may be the same. When we understand those experiences, we can come that much closer to understanding our reactions and consciously change them. Between stimulus and reaction exists a fleeting moment of thought. Often, that thought is based on something that has happened to you in the past. When presented with a similar situation later on, your natural impulse is to unconsciously regard it in a similar light. For example, if you survived a traumatic automobile accident as a youngster, the first thing you might feel upon witnessing even a minor collision between vehicles may be intense panic. If you harbor unpleasant associations with death from a past experience, you may find yourself unable to think about death as a gentle release or the next step toward a new kind of existence. You can, however, minimize the intensity of your reactions by identifying the momentary thought that inspires your reaction. Then, next time, replace that thought with a more positive one. Modifying your reaction by modifying your thoughts is difficult, but it can help you to see and experience formerly unpleasant situations in a whole new light. It allows you to stop reacting unconsciously. Learning the reason of your reactions may also help you put aside a negative reaction long enough to respond in more positive and empowered ways. Your reactions and responses then become about what’s happening in the present moment rather than about the past. As time passes, your negative thoughts may lose strength, leaving only your positive thoughts to inform your healthy reactions. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Through our own experiences and the experiences of others in The Program, we see that a spiritual awakening is in reality a gift — a gift which in essence is a new state of consciousness and being. It means that I’m now on a road which really leads somewhere; it means that life is really worth living, rather than something to be endured. It means that I have been transformed in a sense that I have undergone a basic personality change — and that I possess a source of strength which I had so long denied myself. Do I believe that none come too soon to The Program — and that none return too late? Today I Pray I pray that I may attain that state of consciousness which transcends my everyday reality — but is also a part of it. May I no longer question the existence of God because I have touched His Being. For us who are recovering from addictions, the words reborn in the Spirit have a special, precious meaning. May I be wholly grateful to a Higher Power for leading me to a spiritual rebirth. Today I Will Remember Renaissance through my Higher Power. *************************************** One More Day What’s a joy to the one is a nightware to the other. That’s how it is today, that’s how it will be forever. – Bertolt Brecht Different stroke for different folks is a popular cliche, but it’s also an absolute truth which it comes to knowing people. Each of us has our own level of comfort for the activities we do and the performances we give in our lives. we also find different levels of joy in our spiritual, social, and emotional experiences. Often, we find what we’re looking for — what we wish to find — in each situation. What’s most important is that we are able to find our own level of joy — wherever we are at that time — and claim it as belonging to us. My joy may not be the same as someone Else’s joy, but I shall struggle on to keep the meaning of my joy alive. ************************************ Food For Thought Daring What is it inside our heads that keeps daring us to try once more to prove that we are not compulsive overeaters? What kind of stupidity makes us think that this time we can get away with taking one compulsive bite? In a moment of blind bravado, we can lose months or years of hard won control. Our ego is our own worst enemy. We forget that once a compulsive overeater, always a compulsive overeater. We tell ourselves that since we have been doing so well for so long, surely we can manage one or two small deviations. We rebel against the program and place ourselves above it. We forget that we have a disease, and we decide to do what we feel like doing, oblivious to the fact that by taking that first compulsive bite we are destroying our sanity and our serenity. This kind of daring is to be avoided at all costs. The best antidote is the humility, which reminds us of the reality of our illness. We are not like everyone else. We are compulsive overeaters and do not dare to throw away our program. Save me from the kind of daring that destroys me. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ RISING ABOVE ~ Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail. Ralph Waldo Emerson One of the major premises of our recovery program is "progress, not perfection." No one but me expects me to be perfect. I have a history of driving myself in the quest for perfection. I've set goals that are so lofty that I could never acheive them. In that respect, I'm probably my own worst enemy. However, I can also be my own best friend. I don't have to set standards that are impossible for me to meet. In fact, we're told we need to live one day at a time. If I can do that, then I don't need to live up to my impossibly high standards. My goals aren't so out-of-reach if I can see them as daily things. What happens if I fail to meet even the "one day at a time" goal? I start over, knowing that I don't have to stay down. I can rise up and begin again. That, for me, is the greatest thing. One Day at a Time . . . I will rise above my failures and shortcomings, and know that I'm making progress. I don't have to be perfect any more. Jeff ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us. - Pg. 164 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote HALT. Don't get too Hungry, too Angry, too Lonely, too Tired. Why? Because any of these conditions weaken our mind and emotions and in a weakened state our disease of addiction can easily trick us into using some mind-affecting chemical. Higher Power, as I understand You, help me understand the dangers of HALT. Staying in the Game Each and every day is a rebirth into an entirely new set of possibilities. It carries with it a sense of renewal. Each and every day I will play the hand I'm dealt as well as I can play it. Each and every day I will wake up, place my hand in the hand of God and move into my day with the confidence and comfort of knowing that I am not alone, that I have access to the greatest source of compassion and power in the universe. Each and every day I will put one foot in front of the other and try to make sense of the life I have been given. I will have faith - I will stay connected and alive while I'm living. I am an active member of my life - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Some program members get stuck on rules of what one can and can't say and what dependency qualifies one to be in what recovery group. They demand that newcomers follow traditions as interpreted by them. This can drive newcomers away before they even find out what recovery means. I carry the message, not the mess. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book The trouble with many of us is that in trying times we stop trying. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I can handle anything that comes up today even if it is only a moment at a time. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote There are no chemical solutions to spiritual problems. - Ron K.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
12-15-2024, 04:19 AM | #23 |
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 74,232
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December 23
Daily Reflections RECOVERY, UNITY, SERVICE Our Twelfth Step - carrying the message - is the basic service that AA's Fellowship gives; this is our principal aim and the main reason for our existence. THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 160 I thank God for those who came before me, those who told me not to forget the Three Legacies: Recovery, Unity and Service. In my home group, the Three Legacies were described on a sign which said: "You take a three-legged stool, try to balance it on only one leg, or two. Our Three Legacies must be kept intact. In Recovery, we get sober together; in Unity, we work together for the good of our Steps and Traditions; and through Service - we give away freely what has been given to us." One of the chief gifts of my life has been to know that I will have no message to give, unless I recover in unity with A.A. principles. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We have definitely left that dream world behind. It was only a sham. It was a world of our own making and it was not the real world. We are sorry for the past, yes, but we learned a lot from it. We can put it down to experience, as we see it now, because it has given us the knowledge necessary to face the world as it really is. We had to become alcoholics in order to find the A.A. program. We would not have got it any other way. In a way, it was worth it. Do I look at my past as valuable experience? Meditation For The Day Shed peace, not discord, wherever you go. Try to be part of the cure of every situation, not part of the problem. Try to ignore evil, rather than to actively combat it. Always try to build up, never to tear down. Show others by your example that happiness comes from living the right way. The power of your example is greater than the power of what you say. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may try to bring something good into every situation today. I pray that I may be constructive in the way I think and speak and act today. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Fear And Faith, p.263 The achievement of freedom from fear is a lifetime undertaking, one that can never be wholly completed. When under heavy attack, acute illness, or in other conditions of serious insecurity, we shall all react to this emotion--well or badly, as the case may be. Only the self-deceived will claim perfect freedom from fear. ******************************** We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up. Sometimes we had to search persistently, but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. 1. Grapevine, January 1962 2. Alcoholics Anonymous, p.55 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places AA goes the Distance Fortitude Few societies or organizations have better ways of measuring success than AA. Since we are friends as well as recovering people, some of us get to know others fairly well over long periods of time. Even in a large city, we meet people again and again, year after year. We've come to think it very commonplace that some individuals have been sober ten years or more, and that some members have been in the fellowship more than forty years. The AA program does have staying power; it goes the distance for those who continue to follow it. We should remind ourselves of this when we hear of new, faddish theories about alcoholism and recovery. Most of the time, the results reported are very short-term. What we really need is recovery with staying power, which we can find in the AA program. Today's sobriety can be another link in an endless chain of sobriety. AA will go the distance for me if I take care of each day as it comes. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple We not only need to be willing to give, but also to be open to receiving from others.---from On Hope Many of us took so much from others during our addiction that now we may not want to ask for anything. We may be afraid to ask for help, so our needs go unmet. In fact, many of us would rather give than receive. In recovery, we need to understand the difference between taking and receiving. Giving to others is important. So is receiving from others. As we grow spiritually, we learn to accept gifts. The gift of sobriety teaches us this. We need to accept the gifts the world gives us without shame. We are entitled. God loves us and will give us much if we're willing to receive it. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me be receptive to Your gifts. Help me see and believe that I'm entitled to all the happiness of the world. Action for the Day: I'll think of what a friend has given me. I'll thank this friend. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning . . . The present enshrines the past. --Simone de Beauvoir Each of our lives is a multitude of interconnecting pieces, not unlike a mosaic. What has gone before, what will come today, are at once and always entwined. The past has done its part, never to be erased. The present is always a composite. In months and years gone by, perhaps we anticipated the days with dread. Fearing the worst, often we found it; we generally find that which we fear. But we can influence the mosaic our experiences create. The contribution today makes to our mosaic can lighten its shade, can heighten its contrast, and can make bold its design. What faces us today? A job we enjoy or one we fear? Growing pains of our children? Loneliness? How we move through the minutes, the hours, influences our perception of future minutes and hours. No moment is inviolate. Every moment is part of the whole that we are creating. We are artists. We create our present from influences of our past. I will go forth today; I will anticipate goodness. I will create the kind of moments that will add beauty to my mosaic. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition BILL'S STORY My schoolmate visited me, and I fully acquainted him with my problems and deficiencies. We made a list of people I had hurt or toward whom I felt resentment. I expressed my entire willingness to approach these individuals, admitting my wrong. Never was I to be critical of them. I was to right all such matters to the utmost of my ability. p. 13 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Because I'm An Alcoholic This drinker finally found the answer to her nagging question, "Why?" Somehow I still managed to keep my job and most of my friends, social drinkers who were urging me to cut down on the alcohol. That counsel only made me mad, but I was concerned myself. I asked the therapist I was seeing, sometimes with beer in hand, would I have to stop? His answer was that we had to find out why I drank. I'd already tried but was never able to find out why until I learned the answer in A.A.--because I'm an alcoholic. p. 342 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Four - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." Of course the depressive and the power-driver are personality extremes, types with which A.A. and the whole world abound. Often these personalities are just as sharply defined as the examples given. But just as often some of us will fit more or less into both classifications. Human beings are never quite alike, so each of us, when making an inventory, will need to determine what his individual character defects are. Having found the shoes that fit, he ought to step into them and walk with new confidence that he is at last on the right track. p. 48 ************************************************** ********* "The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless." --Hosea Ballou Speaking without thinking is shooting without aiming. --French Proverb Don't let your tongue cut your throat. --Irish Proverb As long as a man stands in his own way, everything seems to be in his way. --Ralph Waldo Emerson When you find you are upset over a situation, stop and ask yourself one very important question. "Is this something I can change?" Whether it is or not, turn your negative energy in to productive energy. You can either change the situation, or change your perspective of the situation. --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation LANGUAGE "If thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought." -- George Orwell Sobriety for me means much more than "not drinking" or "not using" --- it means the daily decision to be a positive and creative human being in all areas of my life: How I treat people. What I eat. The books I read and how I speak! Not even my worst enemy would call me a "prude" but I think that bad language used on a regular basis is unacceptable in sobriety. Why? Because it hurts the listener and does not show respect for self or the God-given gift of communication. If you have no respect for language, you will ultimately not grow as a spiritual person. May Your "words of love" be reflected in my speech and writings. ************************************************** ********* To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. Psalms 25:1-2 Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Psalms 25:4-5 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Each time you have a kind thought, say a kind word or do a kind deed you are living your love. Lord, as I see the world through loving eyes, I experience heaven on earth. Get and keep a good humored attitude toward life. This will bring you support rather than opposition. Lord, may I always be a peacemaker. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today New Ideas "We reevaluate our ideas so we can become acquainted with the new ideas that lead to a new way of life." Basic Text, pg. 91 Learning to live a new way of life can be difficult. Sometimes, when the going gets especially hard, we're tempted to follow the path of least resistance and live by our old ideas again. We forget that our old ideas were killing us. To live a new way of life, we need to open our minds to new ideas. Working the steps, attending meetings, sharing with others, trusting a sponsor - these suggestions may meet our resistance, even our rebellion. The NA program requires effort, but each step in the program brings us closer to becoming the kinds of people we truly want to be. We want to change, to grow to become something more than we are today. To do that, we open our mind, try on the new ideas we've found in NA, and learn to live a new way of life. Just for today: I will open my mind to new ideas and learn to live my life in a new way. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. There are no riches above a sound body, and no joy above the joy of the heart. --Anonymous Holidays are a wonderful and exciting time of year--a time to enjoy snowflakes falling, company coming, and presents. Sometimes we find ourselves concentrating solely on the wrapped presents and forgetting about the presents of the heart. With God's help, we can begin to notice such things as the hug from a brother or sister, the laugh of a grandparent or the hand-drawn card given to us by a friend. All of these wonderful presents and more are ours for the taking; we need only to see beyond the wrapped packages. It is then we will fully experience the joys of the heart. How many gifts do I see around me right now? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Loneliness is the way by which destiny endeavors to lead man to himself. --Hermann Hissed We have an epidemic of loneliness among men in our world. Everywhere, men are walking around as though in plastic bubbles that prevent contact with others. We are cut off from closeness with our brothers and sisters, our own children, our mates, coworkers, and neighbors. We have learned to play the role, be efficient, and look good. Do we dare let others know how we feel? Will they look down on us? Will they think we're strange? All this has made us ripe for the diseases of addiction and codependency. Some of us have romanticized the pain of loneliness and glorified it. We sought some comfort for our pain, but we only perpetuated it. Breaking through the barrier to let someone know us can be incredibly difficult. Yet, just to say "I feel lonely" to another person makes us slightly less alone. Going to meetings and working this program provide a way out. The greatest benefits of the program for many of us have been recovery from loneliness and the genuine relationships we have developed. Today, I will reveal some of my feelings to another person. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. . . . The present enshrines the past. --Simone de Beauvoir Each of our lives is a multitude of interconnecting pieces, not unlike a mosaic. What has gone before, what will come today, are at once and always entwined. The past has done its part, never to be erased. The present is always a composite. In months and years gone by, perhaps we anticipated the days with dread. Fearing the worst, often we found it; we generally find that which we fear. But we can influence the mosaic our experiences create. The contribution today makes to our mosaic can lighten its shade, can heighten its contrast, and can make bold its design. What faces us today? A job we enjoy or one we fear? Growing pains of our children? Loneliness? How we move through the minutes, the hours, influences our perception of future minutes and hours. No moment is inviolate. Every moment is part of the whole that we are creating. We are artists. We create our present from influences of our past. I will go forth today; I will anticipate goodness. I will create the kind of moments that will add beauty to my mosaic. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Holiday Triggers One year, when I was a child, my father got drunk and violent at Christmas. I had just unwrapped a present, a bottle of hand lotion, when he exploded in an alcoholic rage. Our Christmas was disrupted. It was terrible. It was frightening for the whole family. Now, thirty-five years later, whenever I smell hand lotion, I immediately feel all the feelings I did that Christmas: the fear, the disappointment, the heartache, the helplessness, and an instinctive desire to control. --Anonymous There are many positive triggers that remind us of Christmas: snow, decorations, "Silent Night," "Jingle Bells," wrapped packages, a nativity scene, stockings hung on a fireplace. These "triggers" can evoke in us the warm, nostalgic feelings of the Christmas celebration. There are other kinds of triggers, though, that may be less apparent and evoke different feelings and memories. Our mind is like a powerful computer. It links sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste with feelings, thoughts, and memories. It links our senses - and we remember. Sometimes the smallest, most innocuous incident can trigger memories. Not all our memories are pleasant, especially if we grew up in an alcoholic, dysfunctional setting. We may not understand why we suddenly feel afraid, depressed, and anxious. We may not understand what has triggered our codependent coping behaviors - the low self worth, the need to control, the need to neglect ourselves. When that happens, we need to understand that some innocuous event may be triggering memories recorded deep within us. If something, even something we don't understand, triggers painful memories, we can pull ourselves back into the present by self care: acknowledging our feelings, detaching, working the Steps, and affirming ourselves. We can take action to feel good. We can help ourselves feel better each Christmas. No matter what the past held, we can put it in perspective, and create a more pleasant holiday today. Today, I will gently work through my memories of this holiday season. I will accept my feelings, even if I consider them different than what others are feeling this holiday. God, help me let go, heal from, and release the painful memories surrounding the holidays. Help me finish my business from the past, so I can create the holiday of my choice. As I start this day with quiet meditation, I feel myself becoming still and at peace. At anytime during the day I can bring my mind back to this moment. I can bring my attention and awareness back to the peace that I have when I am with my breath and I know that my breath is with me at all times, whether I remember it or not. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Bring Your Healing Gifts to Others Let your healing gifts to the world spring naturally from who you really are. You want to be a healer. You want to be a force for good in this world. Many of us believe deeply in healing, service, and love. But until you know what heals and helps you, what the truth is for you, you won’t know what heals and helps others. True service, healing that touches the hearts and souls of men and women, doesn’t happen when we ignore who we are. It doesn’t happen when we try to be who we think we should be or when we pretend, out of fear, that we’re someone we’re not. The ability to bring healing to others can only come when we genuinely accept and love ourselves, past and present, and are vulnerable enough to be honest about what heals and helps us. When we love and accept ourselves, we will love and accept others. And only from that place of acceptance can true healing spring. Love yourself. Accept yourself. Be honest about what heals and helps you. Then you’ll bring your healing gifts to others. Your life will be a gift to the world. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go How sweet and precious the moments It had seemed like such an ordinary time. He was staying at the house, helping me out. I had funeral arrangements to make and to attend. My mother was coming into town. I had a lot to do. Then the busy days and nights settled into the quiet rhythm of California winters– short days, fires in the fireplace at night, a pot of spagetti sauce on the stove. January at the beach was a time to stay in the house and be quiet and cozy. Sometimes he cooked a wonderful dinner– Philly steak sandwhiches with real melted cream cheese. Other times, we ordered pizza and just ate in. Sometimes I read. Other times I talked on the phone or puttered around the house. At night, right before sleep came, bringing a gentle end to another day, he put a Sarah McLaughlin CD on the stereo. She sang about being in the arms of angels as she gently sang me to sleep. Then the day came. He was ready to leave. Our time together was done. So be it, I thought. What comes around doesn’t come to stay. It always comes to pass. As he walked out the door, I waved good-bye. Then a wave of emotions rushed through me, flooding my heart. It had seemed like such an ordinary time. And it was. But until it was over, until he walked out that door, I didn’t know how rich and beautiful the ordinary was. “Hmm,” I thought, watching him leave. Maybe the time hasn’t passed yet. How sweet and precious are the moments of our lives, especially the ordinary ones. Don’t let them pass unnoticed or unexperienced. Those ordinary moments can easily become the richest part of our lives. God, help me remember that the way to live a life filled with wonder and awe is to surrender to and live each moment fully, expecting and allowing each one to simply be what it is. *************************************** Five Actions Panchakarma "Panchakarma," a sanskrit word meaning "five actions," describes a series of gentle, natural therapies that boost the body’s ability to detoxify and rejuvenate. As an essential part of Ayurveda, India’s ancient holistic system of medicine, it is used to maintain the body’s balance to prevent illness or as the first step in holistic treatment. Panchakarma’s incredible purification improves healing throughout the body, mind, and spirit, clearing the way for the body’s healing intelligence to flow freely. Today, an oil massage, steam baths, and a special diet prepare your body for several days of relaxing, healing therapies at a spa-like medical clinic. A precise sequence of soothing treatments is then applied in such a way that brainwaves are stimulated and synchronized, creating deep relaxation and an expanded state of consciousness. At the same time, herbal therapies help flush toxins from the body’s systems and tissues while massage soothes the body and balances its energy. Profoundly rejuvenating, Panchakarma can increase energy and mental clarity. It has even been known to slow the aging process and heal diseases previously thought to be incurable according to Western medicine. Depending on the needs of the particular individual, a series of five basic therapies are used: Vaman purges toxins from the sinuses, lungs, and stomach; Virechan flushes toxins from the small intestine; Vasti removes toxins from the colon; Nasyam is herbal therapy applied through the nose for head and sinus conditions. The fifth therapy can be one of three methods: Rakta Moksham removes the excess toxins in the bloodstream, while Shiro Dhara uses a hot-oil head massage. A second form of Vasti can also be applied. Along with a relief of symptoms and improvements in physical disorders, many people, after experiencing Panchakarma, feel lighter, more energized, and look younger. The body’s ability to heal itself is deeply enhanced with the techniques of Panchakarma. By embracing its methods, we eliminate obstacles to complete balance in our bodies and allow the powerful flow of our healing energy to restore our health, our natural glow, and our zest for life. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day How can I tell if I have had a spiritual awakening? For many of us in The Program, a spiritual awakening manifest itself in simple rather than complicated evidences: emotional maturity; an end to constant and soul churning resentments; the ability to love and be loved in return; the belief, even without understanding, that something lets the sun rise and set, brings forth and ends life, and gives joy to human hearts. Am I now able to do, feel and believe that which I could not previously do through my own unaided strength and resources alone? Today I Pray May my spiritual confidence begin to spread over my attitudes towards others — especially during holiday times, when anticipations and anxieties are high. As an addictive person, I have not handled holidays well — greeting those who gather at home, missing those who are not here. I pray for serenity to cope with the holiday brew of emotions. Today I Will Remember Spirit without “spirits.” Cheer without “cheer.” *************************************** One More Day It is a great piece of skill to know how to guide your luck even while waiting for it. – Balstar Gracian Manipulation sounds like such a harsh word, but consider the hands of a surgeon, the moves of an artist, the skill of an electrician. They manipulate their physical environment. In doing so, they are creating. In some subtle way — perhaps we are not even aware that we are doing it — we learn to manipulate our lives. We, too, are very creative. Some people are able to reach for positive goals, even during seemingly negative times. These people are capable of scooping out the very best of life. Those are the ones who have learned to delicate art of helping themselves. They can create their own luck. Sometimes luck isn’t always caused by a draw of the cards. I work hard in all areas to improve my lot, to improve my relationships, to improve my life. ************************************ Food For Thought Warning: Danger Ahead After we have lived the OA program for a time, it becomes a part of our deepest self. When a thought or impulse arises which threatens our program, we often feel a twinge of fear at the same time. This feeling of fear is a warning that whatever we are contemplating may be hazardous to our health. Not to heed these warning signals is the height of folly. We have learned from sad experience that certain thoughts and actions are not for us, if we want to maintain our abstinence and our sanity. When confronted with a difficult choice, we need to listen carefully for the small voice of conscience, which warns us of disaster ahead if we choose foolishly. Our Higher Power never allows us to be tempted beyond our ability to withstand the temptation, provided we recognize our need for His saving strength. By paying attention to the small warning twinges of fear, we can avoid thoughts and actions, which go against His, will for us. May I heed the danger signals You send. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ FEAR ~ When thinking won't cure fear, action will. W. Clement Stone When I first came into the program, I was told that I couldn't think my way into positive actions, but I could act my way into positive thinking. I learned that this was a simple program of action; that if I wanted what you had, I had to do what you did. None of these clichés made any sense to me; I would have to think these over. The nerve of these people telling me that they would do my thinking for me, that all I had to do was follow directions! They prodded and badgered me into working the Steps out of real love and knowledge of truth. I realize now that my actions demonstrated to God my desire to change, and He gave me the courage to try living another way. Most importantly, though, He gave me you. One Day at a Time . . . Am I going to "keep on the firing line" or rest on my laurels? Jeremiah ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again: 'Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.' Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever. If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol. - Pg. 33 - More About Alcholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The first few 24 hours are the hardest task we will ever have to complete. The cravings are intensive, the Babbler put-downs are overwhelming, our bodies feel like a dirty sneaker. Sometimes we simply have to hold on. God, as I understand You, be with me now. Always Here Today I recover the spirit that has always been there, vibrating just beneath the surface of my being, the membrane of my life. I am whole and in tact. I call to that part of me that has been waiting patiently for me to come to my senses and claim it. That part of me that is eternal, that never dies. Spirit has been with me even in my darkest hours. I turn and look, I quiet my mind and see, I rest in awareness and experience. Spirit has never been far, but I have been asleep. Today I wake up to spirit. I am alive to life - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote There is nothing about you that was not intended to be. You have an incredibly sacred purpose. I am on purpose. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you don't remember what God did for you yesterday, you'll have trouble trusting Him for today. Time for Joy - Book - Quote As I start this day with quiet meditation, I feel myself becoming still and at peace. At anytime during the day I can bring my mind back to this moment. I can bring my attention and awareness back to the peace that I have when I am with my breath and I know that my breath is with me at all times, whether I remember it or not. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote If I point the finger at anyone, I have three pointing right back at me. - Unknown origin.
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"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
12-15-2024, 04:29 AM | #24 |
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December 24
Daily Reflections A "SANE AND HAPPY USEFULNESS" We have come to believe He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him, but that our feet ought to be firmly planted on earth. That is where our fellow travelers are, and that is where our work must be done. These are the realities for us. We have found nothing incompatible between a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy usefulness. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 130 All the prayer and meditation in the world will not help me unless they are accompanied by action. Practicing the principles in all my affairs shows me the care that God takes in all parts of my life. God appears in my world when I move aside, and allow Him to step into it. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We have been given a new life, just because we happened to become alcoholics. We certainly don't deserve the new life that has been given us. There is little in our past to warrant the life we have now. Many people live good lives from their youth on, not getting into serious trouble, being well adjusted to life, and yet they have not found all that we drunks have found. We had the good fortune to find Alcoholics Anonymous and with it a new life. We are among the lucky few in the world who have learned a new way of life. Am I deeply grateful for the new life that I have learned in A.A.? Meditation For The Day A deep gratitude to the Higher Power for all the blessings which we have and which we don't deserve has come to us. We thank God and mean it. Then comes service to our fellow men, out of gratitude for what we have received. This entails some sacrifice of ourselves and our own affairs. But we are glad to do it. Gratitude, service, and then sacrifice are the steps that lead to good A.A. work. They open the door to a new life for us. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may gladly serve others, out of deep gratitude for what I have received. I pray that I may keep a deep sense of obligation. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Individual Responsibilities, p.262 Let us emphasize that our reluctance to fight one another, or anybody else, is not counted as some special virtue which entitles us A.A.'s to feel superior to other people. Nor does this reluctance mean that the members of A.A. are going to back away from their individual responsibilities as citizens. Here they should feel free to act as they see the right upon the public issues of our times. But when it comes to A.A. as a whole, that's quite a different matter. As a group we do not enter into public controversy, because we are sure that our Society will perish if we do. 12 & 12, p.177 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Jealousy toward loved ones Feeling Though resentment gets more attention in AA than jealousy, both of these ugly emotions can plague us in sobriety. Some of us can be very distressed and ashamed when the green demon of jealousy suddenly assaults us. Does this mean we're not working our program? No, because the purpose of our program is to bring honesty and healing into our lives, not denial of basic human emotions. It's very understandable that we have pangs of jealousy even in sobriety. Quite often, this jealousy will be felt toward loved ones and close friends. One young AA father disclosed he was jealous of his wife when their infant son seemed more responsive to her than to him. We can also experience jealousy when others close to us receive things we'd like to have. It's even possible to be jealous of another's standing in AA. When such feelings arise, we always have the answer: We must discuss our feelings with certain AA friends and turn these problems over to our Higher Power. This, not denial, is always the solution. If the green demon of envy and jealousy arises today, I'll let the healing power of the Twelve Steps go to work on it. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple We must all hang together or we will hang separately.---Ben Franklin We didn't get ourselves sober. And we don't keep ourselves sober. Our program does this. That is why the Twelfth Step is important. We must be willing to give service to our program whenever it's needed. When a friend calls and say he or she feels like using, we don't say we're sorry. We get our friend and take him or her to a meeting. Our survival depends on this kind of action. We are to carry the message. We carry the message by deeds, not words. We are part of a fellowship based on action. A fellowship guided by love. It is not words that keep us sober--it is action. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me be ready whenever there's a need. Help me be ready to put my self-will aside. Give me strength. Action for the Day: I will think of my group members. Who could use a supportive call or visit? I will call or visit those who need my help. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Follow your dream . . if you stumble, don't stop and lose sight of your goal, press on to the top. For only on top Can we see the whole view . . . --Amanda Bradley Today, we can, each of us, look back on our lives and get a glimmering of why something happened and how it fit into the larger mosaic of our lives. And this will continue to be true for us. We have stumbled. We will stumble. And we learn about ourselves, about what makes us stumble and about the methods of picking ourselves up. Life is a process, a learning process that needs those stumbles to increase our awareness of the steps we need to take to find our dream at the top. None of us could realize the part our stumbling played in the past. But now we see. When we fall, we need to trust that, as before, our falls are "up," not down. I will see the whole view in time. I see part of it daily. My mosaic is right and good and needs my stumbles. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition BILL'S STORY I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. Common sense would thus become uncommon sense. I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me. Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. Then only might I expect to receive. But that would be in great measure. p. 13 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Because I'm An Alcoholic This drinker finally found the answer to her nagging question, "Why?" With my attempts to cut down, I stopped keeping alcohol around the house, drank up whatever was there, over and over deciding not to get more. Then on the way home after work or an evening out, I'd have to see if I could scrape together enough money for a bottle. There were liquor stores just about every block, and I rotated them so the salesmen wouldn't know how much I drank. On Sundays when the liquor stores were closed, I had to make do with beer or hard cider from the grocery. p. 342 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Four - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." Now let's ponder the need for a list of the more glaring personality defects all of us have in varying degrees. To those having religious training, such a list would set forth serious violations of moral principles. Some others will think of this list as defects of character. Still others will call it an index of maladjustments. Some will become quite annoyed if there is talk about immorality, let alone sin. But all who are in the least reasonable will agree upon one point: that there is plenty wrong with us alcoholics about which plenty will have to be done if we are to expect sobriety, progress, and any real ability to cope with life. p. 48 ************************************************** ********* Sharing our experiences with other people gives them hope. --unknown What I am is God's gift to me. What I make of myself is my gift to Him. --unknown "An apology is the superglue of life: it can repair just about anything." --Unknown A man's true wealth is the good he does in the world. Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror. But you are eternity and you are the mirror. --Kahlil Gibran "Joy is not in things; It is in us" --Richard Wagner "Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect." --Oren Arnold "At this time of the year, we need to remind ourselves that what we give from deep within has a much greater worth than what we give from our wallets. Some attempt to impress others with their contributions, but the real acts of kindness are when we give our time, our talents, and gifts that are a reflection of our hearts. -*Neil Eskelinn ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation BROTHERHOOD "I am a citizen, not of Athens or Greece, but of the world." -- Socrates My recovery has enabled me to see that I belong; I belong not simply to a race or nation but to the world. The freedom experienced in my recovery enables me to embrace different cultures, races and religions. Spirituality has brought harmony into my life. Today I can go where I please. I can learn languages and communicate with people in foreign lands. I can listen to ideas and philosophies that enrich God "as I understand Him". The healing that I have experienced in my recovery is more than discovering my choice around alcohol, it is discovering my choice around life. Today I am not content to exist in my life, I choose to live it. Welcome to my world! May I always choose to see and appreciate the richness of my life. ************************************************** ********* He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant. Psalm 25 9-10 "Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground." Psalm 143:10 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration As you draw closer and closer to God, you won't have to tell anyone because it will show in your face. Lord, teach me Your ways as I am ready and let Your love and peace flow through me even in my difficult moments. When you live in the spirit of God you will always feel the love within you. Lord, may I seek peace in You and not from the outside world. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The Group "The Twelfth Step of our personal program also says that we carry the message to the addict who still suffers.... The group is the most powerful vehicle we have for carrying the message." Basic Text pg. 65 When we first come to Narcotics Anonymous meetings, we meet recovering addicts. We know they are addicts because they talk about the same experiences and feelings we've had. We know they are recovering because of their serenity - they've got something we want. We feel hope when other addicts share their recovery with us in NA meetings. The atmosphere of recovery attracts us to the meetings. That atmosphere is created when group members make a commitment to work together. We try to enhance the atmosphere of recovery by helping set up for meetings, greeting newcomers, and talking with other addicts after the meeting. These demonstrations of our commitment make our meetings attractive and help our groups share their recovery. Sharing experience in meetings is one way in which we help one another, and it's often the foundation for our sense of belonging. We identify with other addicts, so we trust their message of hope. Many of us would not have stayed in Narcotics Anonymous without that sense of belonging and hope. When we share at group meetings, we support our personal recovery while helping others. Just for today: I will reach out to another addict in my group and share my recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. He is Father. Even more, God is Mother, who does not want to harm us. --Pope John Paul I God is many things to different people. Some call God "Father," others "Mother," still others "Higher Power," "Inner Light," "Deeper Self," and "Supreme Being." It doesn't matter what name we use. No one name is ever fully adequate, and each of us has our own private way of trying to understand that which we can't ever understand fully. We give God names which attempt to express what God means to us personally, what God does for us as individuals, and how we see ourselves in relation to God. Could it also be true that other people can't be labelled and put into one box? Doing so limits them to one particular way of being understood, and it limits the ways we can get to know them. If we are all made in God's image, then we all deserve the freedom to be seen differently by different people. How does God look to me today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Celebration is a forgetting in order to remember. A forgetting of ego, of problems, of difficulties. A letting go. --Matthew Fox A holiday presents us men with an opportunity to practice the letting go of this program. This is a special day to set aside our work and our routines, to put our problems and burdens on the shelf. Let us join with others who are also letting go on this day and celebrate. Maybe we can learn from them how they do it. We may have been too compulsive on past holidays to celebrate. Or perhaps our holidays are clouded with painful memories. We might miss loved ones or we may recall disappointments or the chaos of earlier holidays. There is no need for perfection in our celebration. We can have some tension, or pain, and yet set it aside as we join with others for a special day. Today, I will set my ego aside and let go of the usual things in my life in order to reach out to others and participate in celebration. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Follow your dream . . if you stumble, don't stop and lose sight of your goal, press on to the top. For only on top Can we see the whole view . . . --Amanda Bradley Today, we can, each of us, look back on our lives and get a glimmering of why something happened and how it fit into the larger mosaic of our lives. And this will continue to be true for us. We have stumbled. We will stumble. And we learn about ourselves, about what makes us stumble and about the methods of picking ourselves up. Life is a process, a learning process that needs those stumbles to increase our awareness of the steps we need to take to find our dream at the top. None of us could realize the part our stumbling played in the past. But now we see. When we fall, we need to trust that, as before, our falls are "up," not down. I will see the whole view in time. I see part of it daily. My mosaic is right and good and needs my stumbles. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Getting Through the Holidays For some, the sights, signs, and smells of the holidays bring joy and a warm feeling. But, while others are joyously diving into the season, some of us are dipping into conflict, guilt, and a sense of loss. We read articles on how to enjoy the holidays, we read about the Christmas blues, but many of us still can't figure out how to get through the holiday season. We may not know what a joyous holiday would look and feel like. Many of us are torn between what we want to do on the holiday, and what we feel we have to do. We may feel guilty because we don't want to be with our families. We may feel a sense of loss because we don't have the kind of family to be with that we want. Many of us, year after year, walk into the same dining room on the same holiday, expecting this year to be different. Then we leave, year after year, feeling let down, disappointed, and confused by it all. Many of us have old, painful memories triggered by the holidays. Many of us feel a great deal of relief when the holiday is ended. One of the greatest gifts of recovery is learning that we are not alone. There are probably as many of us in conflict during the holidays than there are those who feel at peace. We're learning, through trial and error, how to take care of ourselves a little better each holiday season. Our first recovery task during the holidays is to accept ourselves, our situation, and our feelings about our situation. We accept our guilt, anger, and sense of loss. It's all okay. There is no right or perfect way to handle the holidays. Our strength can be found in doing the best we can, one year at a time. This holiday season, I will give myself permission to take care of myself. Today I am willing to be increasingly aware of my spiritual life. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Heal Yourself Infuse healing energy into yourself, into your being. For too long, we’ve been attracted to things that drain us, exhausting our body, depleting our soul. That time has passed. The world is a spa, a nature retreat, a wealth of healing resources. Pour epsom salts and essential oils into your bath. Sit quietly by a tree or in a garden. Walk around the block in your neighborhood. Spend an afternoon in a nearby park or a day at the lake or beach. Throw stones into the river while you sit on the bank contemplating the eternal stream of life. Allow beautiful music to quietly imbue the stillness with healing instead of the pounding of your mind. Light a fire and awaken that darkened hearth to glowing flames and soothing warmth. Rise from your bed early in the morning. Open the curtains. Watch the sunrise. Feel the sunrise. Let it infuse you with its message. Let it energize you, invigorate you, fill you with life. At day’s end return to the window. Or step outside. Watch the sun set. Absorb its changing colors spreading beyond the horizon. Feel how it changes the earth and all it touches. Pet a puppy, stroke a piece of velvet, listen to a symphony. If you can’t slow down long enough to absorb the energy the first time, do it a second and a third. Absorb revitalizing energy until you can hear your voice, hear your heart tell you what would feel good, what would bring peace, what would bring stillness and joy. Before long, doing what brings healing and joy will become as natural as it used to be to do what drains, tires, depletes, and exhausts. It isn’t enough to draw near to the light. Absorb it into you. Let it charge you and change you with its energy and its power. Healing is all around you. Wherever you are, whatever your resources, healing energy, and joy are there. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Let your family be Timothy attended one of those seminars, the kind that talks about personal growth and encourages people to open their hearts. After the seminar, he was so moved by what he’d heard that he called his father on the phone. He hadn’t talked to his father for many years. They had a squabble years earlier when Timothy left home. Neither one wanted tp make the first move or to forgive the other person for the harsh words that had transpired. Timothy made the first move. He and his father have been close ever since. Jessica had her share of troubled times with her mother,too. Over the years there had been times when they’d been close, times when they didn’t talk, and times when Jessica just did the minimum in the relationship, mostly out of a sense of obligation and guilt. As Jessica got older, she began feeling bad about her troubled relationship with her mother. She’d done her family of origin work. She knew her mother had been troubled; but after all, her mother was just a person. Why not forgive and forget? Jessica planned a big trip for the two of them to take, a mother-daughter vacation that would melt away the irritation and conflict from all the years. Jessica had so many hopes the day she met her mother at the airport. But when they got together in the same room for their two weeks of joy, Jessica realized she felt the same way she always had when she was around her mother: irritable, ashamed, and not good enough. Clarence liked his dad when he was a boy. But the older he got, the more he wanted to leave home. His father had issues; Clarence did, too. After Clarence left home, he only spent a few minutes each year talking to his father. One day, when Clarence reached his thirties, he decided it was time for him and his father to be friends. He planned a trip to his father’s house. He couldn’t wait for the heart-to-heart talk they’d have. Clarence would talk about the struggles of being a man and growing up, and surely his father would identify with him. But when they got together, alone in the house, after Clarence poured out his heart, all his father had to say was, “Can you come outside and help me change the tire on the car?” Families and parents come in all different kinds. Do your family of origin work. Be grateful for the good passed on to you from your ancestors and your heritage. Reach out, if that’s what your heart leads you to do. Be the best son or daughter you can, whatever that means to you. But don’t torture yourself if your relationship with your parents is not what you dreamed. Let each member of your family be who he or she is. Love them as much as you can. But if you never got along all that well before, you might not get along now, even after you open your heart. Laugh. Smile. You don’t have to react. You know how to take care of yourself. God, heal my heart toward all my family members. Help me accept each person for who he or she is. Then help me genuinely accept myself,too. *************************************** Beyond Counting Blessings Being Truly Thankful by Madisyn Taylor Our gratitude deepens when we begin to be thankful for being alive during this time and living the life we are living. Often when we practice being thankful, we go through the process of counting our blessings, acknowledging the wonderful people, things and places that make up our reality. While it is fine to be grateful for the good fortune we have accumulated, true thankfulness stems from a powerful comprehension of the gift of simply being alive, and when we feel it, we feel it regardless of our circumstances. In this deep state of gratitude, we recognize the purity of the experience of being, in and of itself, and our thankfulness is part and parcel of our awareness that we are one with this great mystery that is life. It is difficult for most of us to access this level of consciousness as we are very caught up in the ups and downs of our individual experiences in the world. The thing to remember about the world, though, is that it ebbs and flows, expands and contracts, gives and takes, and is by its very nature somewhat unreliable. If we only feel gratitude when it serves our desires, this is not true thankfulness. No one is exempt from the twists and turns of fate, which may, at any time, take the possessions, situations, and people we love away from us. Ironically, it is sometimes this kind of loss that awakens us to a thankfulness that goes deeper than just being grateful when things go our way. Illness and near-miss accidents can also serve as wake-up calls to the deeper realization that we are truly lucky to be alive. We do not have to wait to be shaken to experience this state of being truly thankful for our lives. Tuning in to our breath and making an effort to be fully present for a set period of time each day can do wonders for our ability to connect with true gratitude. We can also awaken ourselves with the intention to be more aware of the unconditional generosity of the life force that flows through us regardless of our circumstances. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We came to The Program as supplicants, literally at the ends of our ropes. Sooner or later, by practicing the principles of the Twelve Steps, we discover within ourselves a very precious thing. We uncover something with which we can be comfortable in all places and situations. We gain strength and grow with the help of God as we understand Him, with the fellowship of The Program, and by applying the Twelve Steps to our lives. Can anyone take my new life from me? Today I Pray May my prayers of desperate supplication, which I brought to my Higher Power as a newcomer to The Program, change to a peaceful surrender to the will of God. Now that I have seen what can be done through the endless might of a Higher Power, may my gift to others be that strong conviction. I pray that those I love will have the faith to find their own spiritual experiences and the blessings of peace. Today I Will Remember Peace — inner and outer — is God’s greatest blessing. *************************************** One More Day I have been sick and I have found out, only then, how lonely I am. Is it too late? – Eudora Welty At one time, we may have thought in absolute terms. Either a person was our best friend or not. Things were right or wrong. We may have driven people from us — people we could have loved and who would have enriched our lives. We have learned that if we are not happy, we need not accept things as they stand. The first step is always to admit there is a problem. Whether it’s loneliness, or we have been too brusque with others, or we need a spiritual change, we can admit it and do whatever is necessary to improve. We can turn to friends or even professionals for help if we need it. We can do this because it’s never too late. Although the very thought of change is frightening, I will assess my life and begin anew today. ************************************ Food For Thought Thinking Straight Before we found this program, we did a great deal of thinking in circles. Since we did not know how to stop eating compulsively, we spent a lot of time thinking up reasons for our behavior, making plans for change, and rationalizing another day's failure to eat normally. Our thinking often wandered away into fantasy, spinning dreams of when we would be thin and on top of things. Since we had to have reasons for our inability to make the dreams materialize, we blamed our failure on the people around us. "If they were only more loving, considerate, capable, exciting, smarter..." Such circular thinking got us nowhere. The more we fantasized, the more we ate, and the more we ate, the more we withdrew from reality. When our minds are not muddled by too much food, our thinking is clarified. The Twelve Steps put us on the road to responsible action, rather than irresponsible rationalization. Accepting the fact that we have a disease keeps us in the world of reality instead of a fantasyland. With Your truth, keep my thinking straight. ***************************************** One Day At A Time REGRET “Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.” Katherine Mansfield Before I came into the program, I allowed fear to rule my life and prevent me from trying new things. I was absent from my own life. I was emotionally unavailable to my children and I stayed stuck in a deep hole of self-pity. I never really heard beautiful music or gloried in the miracles of nature. Although I had what people might perceive as a pretty normal life, it was actually an empty shell and I merely existed. I feel so saddened now at the thought of all the wasted years. I cannot bring them back, but I can learn from them. When I came into the program and read the Promises in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, I realized that it was futile to regret the past or to shut the door on it. Those years and all the pain I went through are what made me the person I am today. I need to always remember where I came from, because if I don't, I can just as easily go back there. I can also use my experience to help others on this wonderful road to recovery. I am able to give away what has been given to me so freely, because it’s only then that I can keep what I have. One Day at a Time . . . I must always remember where I came from so that I can help others in this program of recovery and keep myself from going back into the patterns of my past. Sharon S. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks - drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is little hope of his recovery. - Pg. xxviii-xxix - 4th. Edition - The Doctor's Opinion Hour To Hour - Book - Quote In our recovery it is easy to forget to listen. We get two weeks of clean time and suddenly 'got it made.' Listening is actually our second greatest teacher, the horrors of addiction being our first. If we forget to listen to those who have gone before us, our first great teacher will take over again. May I please keep my ears open, more then my mouth during these initial learning months. Inner Hearing, Inner Sight Today, I will trust my own heart. The clear message that whispers within me has more to tell me than a thousand voices. I have a guide within me who knows what is best for me. There is a part of me that sees the whole picture and knows how it all fits together. My inner voice may come in the form of a strong sense, a pull from within, a gut feeling or a quiet knowing. However my inner voice comes to me, I will learn to pay attention. In my heart I know what is going on. Though I am conditioned by the world to look constantly outside myself for meaning, today I recognize that it is deeply important for me to hear what I am saying from within. I give myself the gift of listening. I will trust my inner voice. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote When we feel that fate has dealt us a bad hand with chemical dependency, we simply remember that many people have MS, cancer, diabetes, lupus, or a myriad of maladies that are not so easily put into remission. Because I count my blessings, my blessings count. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Be kind to unkind people. It gets to them. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am willing to be increasingly aware of my spiritual life. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote This guy had been dragged out of his car drunk by the police. He was handcuffed and chained to a bench at the police station, he'd just urinated on himself, and he looked up at the cop and said; 'I have got to stop driving.' - Scott R.
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"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
12-15-2024, 04:35 AM | #25 |
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December 25
Daily Reflections AT PEACE WITH LIFE Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85 I read this passage each morning, to start off my day, because it is a continual reminder to "practice these principles in all my affairs." When I keep God's will at the forefront of my mind, I am able to do what I should be doing, and that puts me at peace with life, with myself and with God. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Many alcoholics will be saying today: "This is a good Christmas for me." They will be looking back over the past Christmases which were not like this one. They will be thanking God for their sobriety and their new found life. They will be thinking about how their lives have changed when they came into A.A. They will be thinking that perhaps God let them live through all the hazards of their drinking careers, when they were perhaps often close to death, in order that they may be used by Him in the great work of A.A. Is this a happy Christmas for me? Meditation For The Day The kingdom of heaven is also for the lowly, the sinners, the repentant. "And they presented unto him gifts--gold, frankincense, and myrrh." Bring your gifts of gold--your money and material possessions. Bring your frankincense--the consecration of your life to a worthy cause. Bring your myrrh--your sympathy and understanding and help. Lay them all at the feet of God and let Him have full use of them. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be truly thankful on this Christmas day. I pray that I may bring my gifts and lay them on the altar. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It "Fearless and Searching", p.261 My self-analysis has frequently been faulty. Sometimes I've failed to share my defects with the right people; at other times, I've confessed their defects, rather than my own; and still other times, my confession of defects has been more in the nature of loud complaints about my circumstances and my problems. ******************************** When A.A. suggests a fearless moral inventory, it must seem to every newcomer that more is being asked of him than he can do. Every time he tries to look within himself, Pride says, "You need not pass this way," and Fear says, "You dare not look!" But pride and fear of this sort turn out to be bogymen, nothing else. Once we have a complete willingness to take inventory, and exert ourselves to do the job thoroughly, a wonderful light falls upon this foggy scene. As we persist, a brand-new kind of confidence is born, and the sense of relief at finally facing ourselves is indescribable. 1. Grapevine, June 1958 2. 12 & 12, pp.49-50 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Liking Ourselves Self-esteem. It's maybe unsettling to learn that we need to like ourselves more, especially when we've often been accused of being conceited. Being conceited does not mean liking oneself; it's really a matter of being smug and contemptuous in our dealing with others. This attitude is easily recognized by others, and it causes them to dislike us. However, if we like ourselves in the right way, others sense this too, and they will be drawn to us. We will truly like ourselves more as we learn to practice the principles of AA. We will like the kind of life we are trying to live. We will like ourselves for practicing fairness and honesty. We will also like ourselves for letting people see us as we are and feel comfortable doing so. In liking ourselves, we feel no need to impress or dazzle others. I'll remember today that I have a right to be in the world. I will do my best to be fair toward others, but I will like myself regardless of their reactions. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another.--Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibnitz. Not that we're getting well. We feel the need for love more than ever. We tried to avoid love by using chemicals to feel good. But it didn't work. Addiction cut us off even more from people. How do we fill our needs for love? We can think about this fact: People give us love all the time. Only we just haven't seen it. Every time someone comes to a meeting to get well with us, that is love. Love isn't all-or-nothing. Little gems of love are all over. Watch them. Enjoy them. Give them to others. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, love comes from You. Help me see it, and give it. Action for the Day: I'll look three persons in the eye today and send them love in my smile. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning What we suffer, what we endure . . is done by us, as individuals, in private. --Louise Bogan Empathy we can give. Empathy we can find, and it comforts. But our pain, the depth of it, can never be wholly shared, fully understood, actually realized by anyone other than ourselves. Alone, each of us comes to terms with our grief, our despair, even our guilt. Knowing that we are not alone in what we suffer, makes the difficulties each of us must face easier. We haven't been singled out, of that we're certain. Remembering that our challenges offer us the lessons we need in the school of life makes them more acceptable. In time, as our recovery progresses, we'll even look eagerly to our challenges as the real exciting opportunities for which we've been created. Suffering prompts the changes necessary for spiritual growth. It pushes us like no other experience to God--for understanding, for relief, for unwavering security. It's not easy to look upon suffering as a gift. And we need not fully understand it; however, in time, its value in our lives will become clear. I will not be wary of the challenges today. I will celebrate their part of my growth. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition BILL'S STORY My friend promised when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator; that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems. Belief in the power of God, plus enough willingness, honesty and humility to establish and maintain the new order of things, were the essential requirements. Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all. These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment i fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had ever known. There was utter confidence. I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden and profound. pp. 13-14 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Because I'm An Alcoholic This drinker finally found the answer to her nagging question, "Why?" The horrors grew. Inner horrors. On the surface it looked as though I was more or less keeping it together, but day by day I was dying inside, filled with fears I couldn't name but which shook me to the core. My worst fear was that I was an alcoholic. I wasn't sure what that was, except that I might end up down on the Bowery in New York, where I had seen drunks curled up on the sidewalk. I made another New Year's resolution--to stop drinking entirely until I could handle it and then, I told myself, I could go back to wine and beer. pp. 342-343 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Four - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." To avoid falling into confusion over the names these defects should be called, let's take a universally recognized list of major human failings--the Seven Deadly Sins of pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, and sloth. It is not by accident that pride heads the procession. For pride, leading to self-justification, and always spurred by conscious or unconscious fears, is the basic breeder of most human difficulties, the chief block to true progress. Pride lures us into making demands upon ourselves or upon others which cannot be met without perverting or misusing our God-given instincts. When the satisfaction of our instincts for sex, security, and society becomes the sole object of our lives, then pride steps in to justify our excesses. pp. 48-49 ************************************************** ********* Every day is a gift. That is why we call it the present. --unknown "Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others." --Brian Tracy "The duty of helping one's self in the highest sense involves the helping of one's neighbors." --Samuel Smiles "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it's in your power to help them. If you can help your neighbor now, don't say, 'Come back tomorrow, and then I'll help you.'" --unknown Life's lessons are not taught in classrooms. --unknown "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost, that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them." --Henry David Thoreau ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation GENEROSITY "And the Word was made flesh and dwelt amongst us." -- John (1:14) There is a beautiful fairy tale about a land where everybody had an abundance of "warm fuzzies" that they exchanged with each other and shared with each other. Everything in this land was wonderful because all the people were generously giving and receiving "warm fuzzies". Then a rumor began that there was to be a shortage of "warm fuzzies," and people began to hoard and selfishly protect their supply of "warm fuzzies." At this point, "cold pricklies" were introduced into the land. Sadness, pain, tension and persecution developed in the land, and the growth of the "cold pricklies" kept people separated, fearful and alone. The tragedy of this tale is that the rumor was not true! As long as people generously share their "warm fuzzies", they will never disappear. The "warm fuzzies" only disappear when they are not shared. The more we give, the more we receive. Abundance rests in giving, never hoarding! Master, may I always be generous with all that You have given me. ************************************************** ********* "For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:11 "Then Jesus told him, 'Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.'" John 20:29 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Enthusiasm keeps the mind young and the spirit growing. Lord, may I always see wonder in the ordinary happenings of my day. No detail is too insignificant for God's attention. Lord, You encourage me daily as You guide my humblest moments. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Anonymity And Self-Will "The drive for personal gain... which brought so much pain in the past falls by the wayside if we adhere to the principle of anonymity." Basic Text pg. 73 The word anonymity itself means namelessness, but there's a larger principle at work in the anonymity of the NA program: the principle of selflessness. When we admit our powerlessness to manage our own lives, we take our first step away from self-will and our first step toward selflessness. The less we try to run our lives on self-will, the more we find the power and direction once so sorely lacking in our lives. But the principle of selflessness does a lot more than just make us feel better-it helps us live better. Our ideas of how the world should be run begin to lose their importance, and we stop trying to impose our will on everyone and everything around us. And when we abandon our "know-it-all" pretensions and start recognizing the value of other peoples' experience, we start treating them with respect. The interests of others become as important to us as our own; we start to think about what's best for the group, rather than just what's best for us. We start living a life that's bigger than we are, that's more than just us, our name, ourselves - we start living the principle of anonymity. Just for today: God, please free me from self-will. Help me understand the principle of anonymity; help me to live selflessly. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. We have no right to ask, when sorrow comes, Why did this happen to me? unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way. --Philip S. Bernstein All of us have reasons to be grateful. Usually, the word implies we have received something. We often think of gratitude as that warm feeling we get from someone else's generosity. We are particularly grateful when we get unexpected gifts from those who owe us nothing. Within a family, we expect such acts of love because we are close to one another. But gratitude doesn't always come from being a receiver. Gratitude is warmest when it accompanies the joy of being able to give without expecting anything in return. We find it isn't enough to feel grateful. We have to express our gratitude by showing kindness and service to everyone around us. Gratitude is the greatest of all heart-openers. When it enters the heart, love pours out. For every kindness we receive, gratitude inspires a hundred acts of giving. How can I show my gratitude today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. In the sphere of material things, giving means being rich. Not he who has much is rich, but he who gives much. --Erich Fromm Material possessions have great significance in our world. Not only do we strive to own a special car, electronic gear, and far more clothes than we need, but we also think in terms of possessing a girlfriend, or our health, or happiness, or things that cannot be owned. Some of us have become addicted to buying and owning things. This gimme-gimme mentality affects us all and, rather than enriching us, it impoverishes us. Tangible things enrich us only when we use them and share them to improve our lives and the lives of others. We don't need to be wealthy to share what we have with others. It is the sharing that nourishes us and builds bridges between us. Wise people have known for thousands of years that a man's spirituality is deeply affected by his relationship to his possessions. When we respect what we own as a gift from God and share it with others, we grow richer spiritually. I will hold my possessions loosely and with respect so they can be used well and shared. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. What we suffer, what we endure . . is done by us, as individuals, in private. --Louise Bogan Empathy we can give. Empathy we can find, and it comforts. But our pain, the depth of it, can never be wholly shared, fully understood, actually realized by anyone other than ourselves. Alone, each of us comes to terms with our grief, our despair, even our guilt. Knowing that we are not alone in what we suffer, makes the difficulties each of us must face easier. We haven't been singled out, of that we're certain. Remembering that our challenges offer us the lessons we need in the school of life makes them more acceptable. In time, as our recovery progresses, we'll even look eagerly to our challenges as the real exciting opportunities for which we've been created. Suffering prompts the changes necessary for spiritual growth. It pushes us like no other experience to God--for understanding, for relief, for unwavering security. It's not easy to look upon suffering as a gift. And we need not fully understand it; however, in time, its value in our lives will become clear. I will not be wary of the challenges today. I will celebrate their part of my growth. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. The Holidays Sometimes, the holidays are filled with the joy we associate with that time of year. The season flows. Magic is in the air. Sometimes, the holidays can be difficult and lonely. Here are some ideas I've learned through personal experience, and practice, to help us get through difficult holidays: Deal with feelings, but try not to dwell unduly on them. Put the holidays in perspective: A holiday is one day out of 365. We can get through any 24-hour period. Get through the day, but we aware that there may be a post holiday backlash. Sometimes, if we use our survival behaviors to get through the day, the feelings will catch up to us the next day. Deal with them too. Get back on track as quickly as possible. Find and cherish the love that's available, even if it's not exactly what we want. Is there someone we can give love to and receive love from? Recovering friends? Is there a family who would enjoy sharing their holiday with us? Don't be a martyr; go. There may be those who would appreciate our offer to share our day with them. We are not in the minority if we find ourselves experiencing a less than ideal holiday. How easy, but untrue, to tell ourselves the rest of the world is experiencing the perfect holiday, and we're alone in conflict. We can create our own holiday agenda. Buy yourself a present. Find someone to whom you can give. Unleash your loving, nurturing self and give in to the holiday spirit. Maybe past holidays haven't been terrific. Maybe this year wasn't terrific. But next year can be better, and the next a little better. Work toward a better life - one that meets your needs. Before long, you'll have it. God, help me enjoy and cherish this holiday. If my situation is less than ideal, help me take what's good and let go of the rest. Love fills me and heals me as I open to connect with the people that God has placed in my life. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Experience the Thrill of the Climb Don’t stop now. You’re almost there. You’ve worked so hard to climb this mountain. In the beginning, you were excited. Exhilarated at the prospect of the mountain you were about to climb. Now, you are almost to the top. You’ve struggled, gotten weary, and kept going. Now, your goal is in sight. Keep going. Guidance is still there to help you. The life force, the one that keeps you going, keeps you moving forward, is still there too, burning brightly within you, charging all that you do with its energy. It is more difficult for you to feel it, but that is only because you’re tired. See the mountain climber as he climbs the mountain. There are dangers and precipices and challenges along the way. But the higher he climbs, the steeper it gets. The more tired he is, the more energy he has to put into the climb. Don’t tell yourself that the way you feel is an indication you should stop. The way you feel now is the way anyone would feel who was so deeply committed to life. It’s the way anyone would feel who had committed to climbing that mountain. Don’t stop now. Relax as much as you can. Know that the rhythm of life is still there, moving you forward. Don’t look back. Focus intently on each step. Soon you will reach the top. Soon you will reach your goal. Soon you will experience the victory. Keep your eyes focused on the path, look straight ahead. Embrace the thrill of the climb. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Point to the good Identify three things you like. I was talking to my daughter on the phone one day after I had visited her at her house. I took a moment during the conversation, and I listed the three things I most enjoyed and liked best about our visit that day. She caught her breath. She knew I was being honest. “Really?” she asked. “I mean it,” I said. “I meant every word I just said. Do you want to spark that relationship with your friend, your child, your lover, employee, co-worker, or boss? Instead of criticizing everything you don’t like, say what you like best. Most people have their share of insecurities about themselves, their relationships, and how they do at performing a task. Instead of thinking you’re the only one who feels insecure, tell people something that will help them feel good about themselves and their relationship with you. Three is a good number, don’t you think. Look in your heart and find three things you genuinely like about someone. Then tell them clearly what those things are. God, help me start looking at the good in the people I love. *************************************** The Joy of Being Celebrating the In-Between Times by Madisyn Taylor Real life most often happens during the in-between times when we are not celebrating a special occasion. While celebrations are intended to honor life’s more momentous occasions, much of real life tends to happen during the in-between times. While moving from one moment in time to the next is seldom considered a significant occurrence, it is during those in-between times that we are most in tune with life’s most profound, albeit simple joys. Between birth and death, triumph and sorrow, beginnings and endings, we enjoy innumerable experiences that often happen unnoticed. These times are just as worthy of celebration. The in-between times are seldom about landmark moments. How you choose to celebrate them or which moments you choose to celebrate is up to you. You may want to celebrate the simple facts that you are alive and that every day is a chance to spend time with the people you care about or do the work that you love. Then again, when you look at the good that exists in your life, many reasons for celebrating the in-between times may become clear: a cup of your favorite tea, a beautiful sunrise, a good book, and the smell of fresh air can be reasons for celebration. Celebrating the in-between times can be as easy as paying special attention to them when they do happen, rather than taking them for granted. It’s your focus of attention that can turn an in-between time into a celebration. You can also pay homage to the in-between times by slowing down and allowing yourself time to look around and allow your heart and mind to take in all of your life’s wonders. Far too often, we can let those simple moments of awe pass us by. The in-between times are when life happens to us between the pauses that we take to honor our milestones occasions. Without the in-between times, there would be no big moments to celebrate. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Today is a special day in more ways than one. It’s a day that God has made, and I’m alive in God’s world. I know that all things in my life this day are an expression of God’s love — the fact that I’m alive, that I’m recovering, and that I’m able to feel the way I feel at this very instant. For me, this will be a day of gratitude. Am I deeply thankful for being a part of this special day, and for all my blessings? Today I Pray On this day of remembering God’s gift, may I understand that giving and receiving are the same. Each is part of each. If I give, I receive the happiness of giving. If I receive, I give someone else that same happiness of giving. I pray that I may give my self — my love and my strengths — generously. May I also receive graciously the love and strength of others’ selves. May God be our example. Today I Will Remember The magnitude of God’s giving. *************************************** One More Day All living souls welcome whatsoever they are ready to cope with….. – George Santayana So often, a problem would be overwhelming if we had to solve it all at once. We can allow ourselves to dwell only on small pieces of the problem at one time. Then, when we’ve come to terms with one part, another portion can be dealt with. Whether we are facing the death of a loved one or having to cope with other personal problems, our minds help us sort out the order in which we can best handle our pain. Sometimes, we insist on tackling all of the problem, and we think ourselves into a kind of numbness. We’re unable to act. At those times, perhaps we can remind ourselves of how our minds work best. If we do, we can let go of the whole situation and, instead, take on only the small part we’re strong enough to handle. Today, I will let go of all I’m trying to cope with. I will pick one or two small, positive things I can do. Then, I will do them. ************************************ Food For Thought Confidence Our biggest problem was the inability to stop eating compulsively and the resultant obesity. This problem is never solved permanently, but it is overcome on a day-to-day basis. As we succeed in abstaining from compulsive overeating, we grow in confidence. Since by working the program we solve our biggest problem every day, we become confident that we can solve other problems as well. Confidence is trust that our Higher Power and OA will not let us down. Confidence is the knowledge that however tough life gets, we have tools and resources for dealing with it. Confidence believes in ourselves as children of God and people of value. Confidence is the willingness to give what we have, with the faith that our gifts are needed and acceptable. When we have confidence in our Higher Power and in ourselves, we are willing to try even though we may fail. If we fail, we are willing to try again. Since our will and our lives are turned over to God, as we understand Him, we have confidence that everything eventually works out for good. You are the source of confidence. ***************************************** One Day At A Time HOLIDAYS May peace be more than a holiday; May love be more than a season; May the feelings deep inside transcend the calendar; And, instead, become a way of life. Anonymous It is the time of Hanukkah ... of Christmas ... of Kwanzaa ... and other holidays. It is the time when the world is at its best and the hearts of all seem to be brimming with love. It is also the time of year that my very soul finds the most difficult. My physical and emotional recovery is compromised, and memories occupy every cell in my body, causing this vulnerable addict tremendous turmoil. These holy days test the gifts of that enigma which is my Higher Power ... the God Of My Understanding ... and when these days are over and normality returns, I smile at having once again made it through the holidays intact. One Day at a Time . . . I acknowledge that in my Higher Power I have a love that can never be fathomed, A spiritual resource that can never be exhausted, A peace that can never be understood, A rest that can never be disturbed, A joy that can never be diminished, A hope that can never be disappointed, A glory that can never be clouded, A light that can never be darkened, And a life that can never die ... Even on holidays. ~ Mari ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. we are not fighting it, neither are avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. - Pgs. 84-85 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote It often happens that you won't know the role addiction played in your life until you stop using. You have replace roles now. Learning new skills, and this is done at meetings and with your sponsor, is a necessary step in adjusting to your new circumstances. Rather than see additional burdens in new tasks, I choose to see them as a breath of new life. The Treasures Within Within me is the perfect life waiting to awaken. The gifts I seek are already within me. A deep pool of awareness and aliveness is present all of the time but I am too distracted to know it. I get so lost in the superficial details and tasks of my life that I forget to live it, to drop down and contact the spirit that God has planted within me. It is the best kept secret that spirit lives within me, that the way in which I come in touch with my inner light is through letting the constant preoccupations of my mind float by, not taking them so seriously, not trying to control them. Today I realize that the gold is not in my ability to control my mind, the gold is in what lies beneath. What emerges when my mind, for a precious moment, is stilled. Spirit is with me always - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote As you sponsor others, remember this: If you are trying to recreate someone in your own image, then one of you will be redundant. My job as a sponsor is to model, not mold, recovery for my sponsees. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Love fills me and heals me as I open to connect with the people that God has placed in my life. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote One drink's too many and a thousand is not enough.- Unknown origin.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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