Fooling No One But Myself

[roverl0616]

I was shocked to find out that everyone knew that I didn't like myself. I thought I had kept this well hidden because of the shame I would have if anyone ever found this out about me. I wanted to run away from being in recovery when I found out everyone knew this about me. It became apparent that I had been fooling no one but myself. I didn't know that everyone else could tell through my very own actions that I was not a friend to myself, nor that I even like who I was. Even though I didn't have a problem with showing this to anyone I was still shocked to find this out. Most people I encountered either turned away from me or just ignored me being this way. Except for the first person I ever came across who was in recovery they seemed very interested in this fact that I was like this towards myself. At the time I didn't understand why they were and why they were not reacting to me like everyone else had. I know now that they too had once been like this and no longer were. I could sense that they weren't like me now, but they had to convince me they had ever been like me before, and they did. It helped me tremendously when they did this because it gave me hope that somehow I could change from not liking myself, to being able to like who I'm.