Need help with girlfriend and her addiction to H

[LookingOut]

Wallst, also praying for her and you. Things happen in life and sometimes the best thing is to let go. I believe in God, so I surrender what I cannot do to Him, who CAN do all things.

It does hurt. It is uncomfortable, but we CAN stand it, we CAN survive it. We will learn through it and if we allow it, we can become stronger people of better character.

Yes you love her, but she has to heal. You need to go on with your life. You need to heal as well. I agree with Jo that Al-Anon would be a great place. I have also been helped a lot lately by SMART Recovery, which you can also find online, and they also have a family and friends support section. You could also seek out professional or pastoral counseling.

I am glad you have reached out here. You are not alone and there are people willing to help if you continue to seek them out.

His peace.

[Wallst]

Last thurs. I went over to her place to talk to her and it ended really bad. Her ex kept texting her and was mad that I was there and I ended up leaving . The next day she told me she doesn't wanna speak to me any longer and she deleted me from all social media. Her ex has control of her and there is nothing I can do. He uses speed and she's on heroin and pretty much any pill she can get her hands on now. I'm so hurt but I realize she has no feelings for me and now that she told me what she did, she will not try and contact me any longer. All I can is wish her well

[MajestyJo]

Thanks for sharing. You can't talk to someone who is in active addiction. It is their disease talking. She knows you would like her to quit but she has no willingness to do so, so she is going to lash out at you.

You need to look after your own spiritual well being, look at your hurt and pain. Take it to your sponsor, clergyman, confidant, close friend, and to your God.

If you are allowing her to rent space in your head and focusing on her, you are in active addiction. She is your drug of choice. Are you willing to let go and let God?

My prayers are with you.

[Wallst]

So It had been a couple of weeks and she had called me over because she said she missed me. I went over and we had pizza and talked. She said that she didn't want any romantic ties and she was distant with me. She kept getting calls and at one point, left the room for about 30 mins. I found out it was her ex and I jumped up and got my stuff to leave. She asked what was wrong and I just said I had to go. First thing she asked was if I had any pills I could leave her. I told her no and left. Like an hr later, she was telling me that she didn't wanna see me again and her ex was making up all kinds of the things as to slander me all over facebook. A week had went by and I called her and left a message just to wish her well and wishing her happy holidays. I immediately get a text from her saying to leave her alone and then a text from a diff number saying she has a boyfriend and to leave her alone. I guess that is the end of this and I can no longer hope that things will get better and that she will contact me ever again ... Thanks for all your support but I guess this is the end of this chapter and story.

[LookingOut]

You know it is better to end it here, don't you?

You will find someone to date who is healthy and it will be a much better relationship. Give yourself some time to heal and be patient.

[MajestyJo]

By continuing to call her, it is obsessive, compulsive and not hope. She set a boundary, and knowing her disease, when she calls, it is her addiction, generally wanting something from you. She probably thinks you are a soft with no thought of your feelings. That is what addiction does.

You need to take care of yourself. Sit down with your God and look for some Good Orderly Direction as to the way He would have you go. As the saying goes, "If a door closes, another one opens." Sometimes it is a window and we have to make a decision to put our life into our God's Care.

My prayers are with you over the holiday season. Focus on others, your church, your family, volunteer at soup kitchens or shelters, and it will help to heal your heart.