Today's Thought - August

[bluidkiti]

August 16

Feeling self-important

After being in the program for a while, some of us feel we know much more than the average member (and perhaps we do). But self-importance helps no one. What is important is working hard to stay sober. By taking care of ourselves, we quietly set a good example.

We need to carry the message and offer help, but it does not help to set ourselves above or apart.

Am I letting go of any self-importance?

Higher Power, help me to learn my weaknesses and be humble.

I will practice humility today by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

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August 17

It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

~Agnes Repplier

There is a curious phenomenon found among many adult children called “switching addictions.” It may not truly be addictions one is talking about, but the dynamics are similar; we become obsessively involved in one activity as an excuse, and an escape, from dealing with another.

Rather than deal with many core issues such as emotional dependency, shame, or fear of abandonment, adult children may seek freedom from outside activities. We may become compulsive exercisers or seek happiness by spending, eating, or collecting romantic involvements like charms on a bracelet.

Happiness cannot be found outside ourselves. If the inner core of control and satisfaction is not there, no matter what else we may surround ourselves with (or deny ourselves), we remain barren.

I accept responsibility for my own happiness, for the obstacles I put in my own way, and for the happiness substitutes that I use to distract myself.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children

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August 18

Meetings are one way of carrying the message.

Step Twelve reminds us that part of our responsibility as recovering people is to carry the message to others who still suffer. That doesn’t mean we have to reveal our stories to strangers. Nor do we have to break our anonymity if we think it might jeopardize us or members of our family. But when we are at meetings with others who are seeking answers, we are safe to share our personal message of what it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now.

Carrying our message of change and hope strengthens our own reliance on this program. We hear the old-timers in the program say we have to “give it away to keep it,” but we can’t know what that means until we experience the relief and hope that happens each time we honestly share a part of our lives with someone else. The “honeymoon high” that newcomers often experience when they first get involved in the program is repeated again and again, as long as we actively carry our message.

I will help myself by carrying my message of hope today. What I give away will come back to me, many times over.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own, Meditations on Hope and Acceptance

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August 19

When certain muscle groups learn a specific skill through practice, they become more efficient. We can easily imagine this if we think of what it’s like to play a favorite sport or learn a musical instrument. The same is true for our mind. If we consistently work on our ability to concentrate, visualize, imagine, or logically analyze, the functioning of these faculties will improve, which increases our sense of well-being and capability to live confidently in the world.

One of the most damaging aspects of addiction is that it often interferes with our normal development. We experience an enormous brain growth spurt between the ages of fourteen and eighteen, and if our substance use began in earnest at an early age, we suffered some setbacks in the normal progression of our brain’s faculties. This is often especially true in terms of the frontal lobe, which is the center for planning and problem solving, judgment, and impulse control.

With time and attention, sobriety allows us to overcome these deficits. With practice, we can again become masters of our own thinking and processing. We can learn to observe the flow of our own thinking and to transform it with more empowering thoughts.

I honor the reparative functions of my brain and work diligently to improve my mind.

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones, Daily Meditations for the Journey into Manhood and Recovery

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August 20

Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

~Step Eight of Al-Anon

The Eighth Step is not meant to punish us; it is meant to set us free from guilt, anxiety, and discord.

We begin by making a list of everyone we have harmed on our journey, as we have struggled to survive. We have probably done more damage to ourselves than to anyone else, so we put ourselves first on the list.

Often, our tendency is to feel guilty about everything we’ve ever done, everyone we’ve come in contact with. That is unearned guilt. Writing helps us clarify whether or not we are punishing ourselves for no reason. But we need to be open to guidance as we work this Step, getting everything out of us and on to paper, so we can be healed.

Once we have made the list, we strive to become willing to make amends to everyone on it because that is how we will heal. Making amends does not mean feeling guilty and ashamed and punishing ourselves; it means swallowing our pride and defenses, and doing what we can to take care of ourselves. We become ready to improve our self-esteem by taking responsibility for our behaviors. We become willing to have our relationships with ourselves, others, and our Higher Power restored.

Today, I will open myself to an honest understanding of the people I have harmed. God, help me let go of my defenses and pride. Help me become willing to make amends to those I have harmed, so that I can improve my relationships with myself and others.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

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August 21

Reflection for the Day

Among the important things we learn in the program is to be good to ourselves. For so many of us, though, this is a surprisingly difficult thing to do. Some of us relish our suffering so much that we balloon each happening to enormous proportions in the reliving and telling. Self-pitiers are drawn to martyrdom as if by a powerful magnet—until the joys of serenity and contentment come to them through the program and Twelve Steps. Am I gradually learning to be good to myself?

Today I Pray

May I learn to forgive myself. I have asked—and received—forgiveness from my Higher Power and from others, so why is it so hard to forgive myself? Why do I still magnify my suffering?
Today I Will Remember

Why do I go on licking my emotional wounds? May I follow my Higher Power’s forgiving example, get on with the program, and learn to be good to myself.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People

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August 22

Hitch your wagon to a star.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

When we are new to recovery, there is a lot we don’t know. We learn it, a little bit at a time. One of the best ways to learn more about how to work a recovery program is to work with a sponsor. Even after we have been in recovery for a long time, sponsors are very important. Sponsors are our personal guides to living in recovery. We should choose someone who we admire, works a good program, and seems like he or she might understand us. We never have to be afraid to ask someone to be our sponsor. This person will feel good that we asked and will say yes or no depending on whether he or she can do it.

Some sponsors ask their “sponsees” or “pigeons”—that would be us—to call them every day to check in. Other sponsors might prefer to talk with us less often. They help us learn how the program applies to our daily life and relationships.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I need your help for sure, but I also need a real live guiding star to talk with—a sponsor. Help me reach out to someone who would be a good sponsor for me.
Today's Action

If I already have a sponsor, I will talk with this person today and thank him or her for working with me. If I don’t have a sponsor, I will make a decision to ask someone to sponsor me.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple

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August 23

Anger as soon as fed is dead
’Tis starving makes it fat.

~Emily Dickinson

Many addicts have a problem with anger. We may have been abused, neglected, or battered as children, and we may turn that abuse against ourselves or others in a vicious, repetitive cycle.

We need to talk about incidents that still torment us, and get angry at those who abused us. If we have been victimized, we are likely to go on being victims until we fight our way out of those early situations. Often, we can only do that by giving ourselves permission to vent anger as an affirmation of our self-worth, and not a contradiction of all we have been taught about being tolerant, forgiving, and peace-loving.

It is possible to hate the deed but to forgive the doer. We have the right to hate what happened to us, we have the right to be angry at people for their hurtful acts, while being ready to forgive them as people. If we keep our anger back, it will fester and come out in mean and petty ways. Let’s not starve our anger, or it will rob us of our dignity and serenity.

I do have things to be angry about, and it is healthy for me to get angry at people when they abuse and humiliate me.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

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August 24

Listen to the sounds of silence.

~Paul Simon

Sharing experiences, strengths, and hopes, and reading during recovery is very important. But just as important are the times of silence we allow ourselves to think over the information we’re receiving during times of sharing and reading.

Before recovery, being quiet may have meant having to face our problems alone. We avoided being by ourselves. We may think we don’t have time for silence in our busy lives. But quiet moments in the morning or evening for meditation, moments going to and from work, moments spent doing household chores, moments during exercise—all of these moments add up to the precious times of silence we need to absorb all we are learning, feeling, and experiencing.

I now look forward to my quiet times. I am learning how to relax and be with my Higher Power in prayer, meditation, and reflection.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

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August 25

I can identify with anybody—a feeling is a feeling.

~Anonymous

Feelings are no respecters of age, gender, marital status, wealth, position in the community, intelligence, or any other standard we use to gauge and categorize other people. A teenage boy knows what an older woman means when she says, “I was scared to death, but I didn’t know what I was scared of.” My heart melted; my stomach turned over; my skin crawled; a feeling of dread spread through me; my heart was thumping—we are all familiar with feelings, though we may not always know at any particular moment what caused them.

No matter who we are or what we’ve done, we can identify with each other. We are God’s creation, and we were made alike in love. We created our own fear, but we can return—anytime we want to—to God’s love, the great equalizer.

I will say today, “I know how you feel,” and mean it.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

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August 26

…to have a crisis and act upon it is one thing. To dwell in perpetual crisis is another.

~Barbara Grizzuti Harrison

Exaggerating the negative element in our lives is familiar behavior for all too many of us. But this obsession is our choice. We can stop at any moment. We can decide to let go of a situation that we can't control, turn it over to God, and be free to look ahead at the possibilities for happiness.

Perhaps we can learn to accept a serious situation in our lives as a special opportunity for growth first of all, but even more as an opportunity to let God work in our lives. We learn to trust by giving over our dilemmas to God for solutions. With patience, we will see the right outcomes, and we will more easily turn to God the next time.

Crises will lessen in number and in gravity in direct proportion to the partnership we develop with our higher power. The stronger our dependence on that power, for all answers and all directions, the greater will our comfort be in all situations.

Serenity is the gift promised when we let God handle our lives. No crisis need worry us. The solution is only a prayer away.

l will take action against every crisis confronting me—I will turn to God. Each crisis is an invitation to serenity.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

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August 27

God is like a mirror. The mirror never changes, but everybody who looks at it sees something different.

~Rabbi Harold S. Kushner

In their wisdom, the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous struggled with how to express the spirituality at the core of the program. They landed on the phrase “God as we understood Him.” That phrase is another way to express the idea of God as a mirror. Even those who try to define God will find that words cannot adequately describe the ultimate creator; instead, they place false limits on God.

When we face God, we don’t see ourselves as we do in a mirror, but we see beyond ourselves. God provides us with a pathway out of our willful ego-based mind and expands our understanding as participants in the universe of creation. The awe and reverence and meaning of our spiritual lives call us to align ourselves with something far beyond our immediate pleasure and self-satisfying will.

Today, I am grateful for the spiritual awakening that this program gives me.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

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August 28

AA Thought for the Day

“When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith. When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the universe, we have to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work, but the God-idea does. Deep down in every man, woman, and child is the fundamental idea of God. Faith in a Power greater than ourselves and miraculous demonstrations of that power in our lives are facts as old as the human race.” Am I willing to rely on the Spirit of the universe?
Meditation for the Day

You should not dwell too much on the mistakes, faults, and failures of the past. Be done with shame and remorse and contempt for yourself. With God’s help, develop a new self-respect. Unless you respect yourself, others will not respect you. You ran a race, you stumbled and fell, you have risen again, and now you press on toward the goal of a better life. Do not stay to examine the spot where you fell, only feel sorry for the delay, the shortsightedness that prevented you from seeing the real goal sooner.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not look back. I pray that I may keep picking myself up and making a fresh start each day.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

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August 29

What is without periods of rest will not endure.

~Ovid

When we are tired, we need to stop and give ourselves time to rest. Sometimes we think we can't spare the time. But without rest, all our activity soon becomes a burden and there is no joy in it. Animals know it is necessary to take time to rest. This is part of the rhythm of life: activity and rest, effort and relaxation.

Our bad moods are often our body's way of telling us we need rest. When we were little, we needed naps. Somehow, we forget to allow ourselves this right when we are older. We are wise to remember we never outgrow this need for rest to make the day go better.

When we return to our day refreshed, we have given ourselves and all those around us the gift of ourselves at our best.

What can I do better when I am rested?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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August 30

We only see what we want to see; we only hear what we want to hear.

~Don Miguel Ruiz

We only want to hear good things. That we’re nice people. That our loved ones are healthy. That we did a good job. We don’t want to hear that anyone is angry with us, or that we made a mistake. We don’t want to hear about an illness or troubles.

But life isn’t just happy news. Bad things happen. We can’t change that. As we live our recovery program, we learn to handle the hard things without running back to our addiction. We choose the path of life. We need to know all the news, good and bad. Then we can deal with life as it really is.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me listen—even when I don’t want to. Gently help me deal with both the good and bad. All the help I need is mine for the asking.
Action for the Day

I will ask my sponsor and three friends to tell me about my blind spots.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal