We will come to a time of longing for the past in our new found sobriety. This happens naturally. What we do in this time will be important to us being able to maintain our path in recovery. I was warned about this, no matter what happened, or how bad it got, we will long to go back to drinking. Romanticizing our past is an illusion we all suffer from and have to learn to deal with. It's sort of like this if women remember the pain from childbirth they'd only have one child. They seem to forget pain and to remember the good. We all are doing the same thing when we pass through that time of longing for the past. My sponsor also told me that by the time I started recovery that I had already done all my good drinking, and that I could go back to drinking but it wouldn't be any good. I asked him how he knew that ? He said, because he'd never heard any one who returned to recovery after drinking again say it got any better, they always say it got worse.