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04-08-2021, 10:05 AM | #16 |
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Daily Reflections ANGER: A "DUBIOUS LUXURY" If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of the normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 66 "Dubious luxury." How often have I remembered those words. It's not just anger that's best left to nonalcoholics; I built a list including justifiable resentment, self-pity, judgmentalism, self-righteousness, false pride and false humility. I'm always surprised to read the actual quote. So well have the principles of the program been drummed into me that I keep thinking all of these defects are listed too. Thank God I can't afford them--or I surely would indulge in them. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day In A.A. we have insurance. Our faith in God is a kind of insurance against the terrible things that might happen to us if we ever drink again. By putting our drink problem in the hands of God, we've taken out a sort of insurance policy, which insures us against the ravages of drink, as our homes are insured against destruction by fire. Am I paying my A.A. insurance premiums regularly? Meditation For The Day I must try to love all humanity. Love comes from thinking of every man or woman as your brother or sister, because they are children of God. This way of thinking makes me care enough about them to really want to help them. I must put this kind of love into action by serving others. Love means no severe judging, no resentments, no malicious gossip, and no destructive criticism. It means patience, understanding, compassion, and helpfulness. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may realize that God loves me, since He is the Father of us all. I pray that I in turn may have love for all of His children. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It "Perfect" Humility, p. 106 For myself, I try to seek out the truest definition of humility that I can. This will not be the perfect definition, because I shall always be imperfect. At this writing, I would choose one like this: "Absolutely humility would consist of a state of complete freedom from myself, freedom from all the claims that my defects of character now lay so heavily upon me. Perfect humility would be a full willingness, in all times and places, to find and to do the will of God." When I meditate upon such a vision, I need not be dismayed because I shall never attain it, nor need I swell with presumption that one of these days its virtues shall all be mine. I only need to dwell on the vision itself, letting it grow and ever more fill my heart. This done, I can compare it with my last-taken personal inventory. Then I get a sane and healthy idea of where I stand on the highway to humility. I see that my journey toward God has scarce begun. As I thus get down to my right size and stature, my self-concern and importance become amusing. Grapevine, June 1961 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Fix the Need Taking Inventory Recovering users have a saying: "Need a fix? Fix the need" It's great advice, if we combine it with our daily inventory. In good behavior and bad, we're always trying to meet our needs. As compulsive people, we have lots of experience with destructive ways of meeting them. Driven by nameless hungers, we tried desperately to combat boredom, to raise our low self-esteem, to find companionship. What we actually did was place more distance between ourselves and the true satisfying of our needs. On the new path, one way of fixing needs is to come to terms with them. Maybe we had a need for success that was really a frantic effort to "show others" that we were all right. We should want to succeed, but let's begin by exchanging any false goal for one that's right for us. Maybe we have other needs that are based on defective principles and immature hopes. What do we rally need? All of us need self-honesty, self-worth, friendship, and purpose.... all available in the AA program as part of sober living. Finding these, we'll gain insight that will enable to sort out and understand other needs,..... and perhaps find those that correspond to our heart's desire and bring real happiness. It's something we can turn over, because God knows our needs before we even ask. I'll remember today that my needs exist to serve my way of life, and that I must never be a slave to them. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple No human creature can give order to love.George Sand If we are trying to get others to love us, all we’re really doing is trying to be in control. Trying to control others can be a powerful drug. Remember, we can’t control others. We can’t make others love us. Our Higher Power has control, not us. So, what do we need to do? Turn things over to our Higher Power and just be ourselves. Sure, it can scare us to just be ourselves. The truth is, not everyone will love us. But if we’re honest about who we are, others will respect us. We’ll like ourselves better. And we’ll have a better chance of loving others and being loved. Prayer for the Day: I pray to have my need for control lifted from me. I pray to be rid of self-will. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll list five ways my self-will---my need to control---has gotten me in trouble. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning In the face of an obstacle which is impossible to overcome, stubbornness is stupid. --Simone de Beauvoir Sudden obstacles, barriers in the way of our progress, doors that unexpectedly close, may confuse, frustrate, even depress us. The knowledge that we seldom understand just what is best for us, comes slowly. And we generally fight it, even after we've begun to understand. Fortunately, the better path will keep drawing us to it. We may wonder why a door seems to have closed. Our paths are confounded only when our steps have gone astray. Doors do not close unless a new direction is called for. We must learn to trust that no obstacle is without its purpose, however baffling it may seem. The program can help us understand the unexpected. We perhaps need to focus on the first three Steps when an obstacle has surfaced. We may need to accept our powerlessness, believe there is a higher power in control, and look to it for guidance. We may also need to remind ourselves that fighting an obstacle, pushing against a closed door, will only heighten our frustration. Acceptance of what is will open our minds and our hearts to the better road to travel at this time. The obstacles confronting me invite me to grow, to move beyond my present self. They offer me chances to be the woman I always dreamed of being. I will be courageous. I am not alone. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us. But point out that we alcoholics have much in common and that you would like, in any case, to be friendly. Let it go at that. p. 95 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. Here was a man with essentially the same outlook on life, except that he had done something about it. He was happy, getting a kick out of life and people, and beginning to get his medical practice back again. As I look back on that first evening, I realize that I began to hope, then, for the first time, and I felt that if he could regain these things, perhaps it would be possible for me too. p. 261 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." This brings us straight to the question "Does A.A. have a real leadership?" Most emphatically the answer is "Yes, notwithstanding the apparent lack of it." Let's turn again to the deposed founder and his friends. What becomes of them? As their grief and anxiety wear away, a subtle change begins. Ultimately, they divide into two classes known in A.A. slang as "elder statesmen" and "bleeding deacons." The elder statesman is the one who sees the wisdom of the group's decision, who holds no resentment over his reduced status, whose judgment, fortified by considerable experience, is sound, and who is willing to sit quietly on the sidelines patiently awaiting developments. The bleeding deacon is one who is just as surely convinced that the group cannot get along without him, who constantly connives for reelection to office, and who continues to be consumed with self-pity. A few hemorrhage so badly that - drained of all A.A. spirit and principal - they get drunk. At times the A.A. landscape seems to be littered with bleeding forms. Nearly every oldtimer in our Society has gone through this process in some degree. Happily, most of them survive and live to become elder statesmen. They become the real and permanent leadership of A.A. Theirs is the quiet opinion, the sure knowledge and humble example that resolve a crisis. When sorely perplexed, the group inevitably turns to them for advice. They become the voice of the group conscience; in fact, these are the true voice of Alcoholics Anonymous. They do not drive by mandate; they lead by example. This is the experience which has led us to the conclusion that our group conscience, well-advised by its elders, will be in the long run wiser than any single leader. pp. 134-135 ************************************************** ********* "One of the tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon, instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today." --Dale Carnegie The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. --Oprah Winfrey Deep, abiding joy is available to anyone who learns the secret of pursuing every task with energy and dedication, as though it were a calling. --Thomas Kinkade The value of life lies, not in the length of days, but in the use we make of them: a man may live long, yet live very little. --Michel de Montaigne It is not length of life, but depth of life. --Ralph Waldo Emerson Do not return hurt for hut. --Jerry C. Whybrew ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation LAUGHTER "You grow up the day you have the first real laugh - at yourself." --Ethel Barrymore Today I can laugh at myself. I do not take myself too seriously and I am beginning to grow. I used to be so serious. Having the "poor me's", sitting on my pity pot demanding attention; I was so unhappy. And I was causing my unhappiness. Then a friend listened to my complaints for half an hour and then began to laugh, giving out a real belly-laugh and at that point I began to laugh, too! My attitude was so stupid, selfish and futile that it demanded a laugh to shake me out of it - at that point I began to grow. Today I laugh at my funny little ways, my funny little walk, my ridiculous pretensions, my grandiose behavior. Today with the laughter comes humility. O Lord, let me experience the miracle of laughter. ************************************************** ********* "Peace be with you. John 20:21a "If we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another." 1 John 1:7 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Don't spend a lot of time second guessing yourself because often times our first choice is the best choice and, if it isn't, we are free to choose again. Lord, guide me through all of my decisions and help me to be flexible enough to change my mind when necessary. Never let the abundance of gifts from God cause you to forget the Giver. Lord, may I start and end each day with a thank you to You for all of my blessings including those which I take for granted. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today "Acting As If" "Today, we seek solutions, not problems. We try what we have learned on an experimental basis." Basic Text p. 55 The first time we heard that we should "act as if" many of us exclaimed, "But that's not honest! I thought we were always supposed to be honest about our feelings in Narcotics Anonymous." Perhaps we can reflect on when we first came into the program. We may not have believed in God, but we prayed anyway. Or maybe we weren't sure the program would work for us, but we kept coming to meetings regardless of what we thought. The same applies as we progress in recovery. We may be terrified of crowds, but if we act confidently and extend our hand, we'll not only feel better about ourselves, we'll find that we are no longer so frightened of large gatherings. Each action we take in this vein brings us closer to becoming the people we were meant to be. Each positive change we make builds our self-esteem. Through acting differently, we will realize that we are beginning to think differently. We are living ourselves into right thinking by "acting as if." Just for today: I will take the opportunity to act as if I can accept a situation I used to run from. pg. 110 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. . . . there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem. --Booker T. Washington It's not what we do for a job that counts, it's how we do it. It's not what our chores at home might be, it's how we do them. And it's not what grades we get in school, but rather how hard we try. Doing our best, whether it's making a bed, writing a report, or listening to a friend tell about an experience gives us a good feeling about ourselves. Each of us is special to one another. And we are special to this very moment. Because what is past can't be repeated, let's remember to enjoy every moment as it comes. Let's pay close attention to each person, each activity that we encounter today. It's not what we do today, but how we do it that counts. Can I do each thing well today, even the small things? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A woman should be able to be both independent and dependent, active and passive, relaxed and serious, practical and romantic, tender and tough minded, thinking and feeling, dominant and submissive. So, obviously, should a man! --Pierre Mornell The weakest men, most vulnerable to stresses in life, are those with narrow ideas about masculinity. In our growth, we are finding parts of ourselves we didn't know were there. Some of us are finding the tough part of us that makes it possible to stand up to our bosses or our wives or lovers when necessary. We are also finding the soft parts, warm parts, sad parts. And the greater the variety of sides we develop, the more successful we are in meeting life. Whatever we discover about ourselves is another example of being human. Sometimes we might think what we feel is not right, or is weak or sick. We need never fear our feelings. The denial of our feelings had devastating effects on us. Knowing and accepting our many sides will lead us into strength and health. I am thankful that I am able to be both sides of many coins. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. In the face of an obstacle which is impossible to overcome, stubbornness is stupid. --Simone de Beauvoir Sudden obstacles, barriers in the way of our progress, doors that unexpectedly close, may confuse, frustrate, even depress us. The knowledge that we seldom understand just what is best for us, comes slowly. And we generally fight it, even after we've begun to understand. Fortunately, the better path will keep drawing us to it. We may wonder why a door seems to have closed. Our paths are confounded only when our steps have gone astray. Doors do not close unless a new direction is called for. We must learn to trust that no obstacle is without its purpose, however baffling it may seem. The program can help us understand the unexpected. We perhaps need to focus on the first three Steps when an obstacle has surfaced. We may need to accept our powerlessness, believe there is a higher power in control, and look to it for guidance. We may also need to remind ourselves that fighting an obstacle, pushing against a closed door, will only heighten our frustration. Acceptance of what is will open our minds and our hearts to the better road to travel at this time. The obstacles confronting me invite me to grow, to move beyond my present self. They offer me chances to be the woman I always dreamed of being. I will be courageous. I am not alone. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Letting Things Happen We do not have to work so hard at gaining our insights. Yes, were learning that painful and disappointing things happen, often for a reason and a higher purpose. Yes, these things often work out for good. But we don't have to spend so much time and energy figuring out the purpose and plan for each detail of our life. That's hypervigilence! Sometimes, the car doesn't start. Sometimes, the dishwasher breaks. Sometimes, we catch a cold. Sometimes, we run out of hot water. Sometimes, we have a bad day. While it helps to achieve acceptance and gratitude for these irritating annoyances, we don't have to process everything and figure out if its in the scheme of things. Solve the problem. Get the car repaired. Fix the dishwasher. Nurse yourself through the cold. Wait to take the shower until there's hot water. Nurture yourself through your bad day. Tend to your responsibilities, and don't take everything so personally! If we need to recognize a particular insight or awareness, we will be guided in that direction. Certainly, we want to watch for patterns. But often, the big insights and the significant processing happen naturally. We don't have to question every occurrence to see how it fits into the Plan. The Plan - the awareness, the insight, and the potential for personal growth - will reveal itself to us. Perhaps the lesson is to learn to solve our problems without always knowing their significance. Perhaps the lesson is to trust ourselves to live, and experience, life. Today, I will let things happen without worrying about the significance of each event. I will trust that this will bring about my growth faster than running around with a microscope. I will trust my lessons to reveal themselves in their own time. Today I picture myself flooded with the glow of a powerful bright light that is guiding me on my positive path of success and happiness. --Ruth Fishel ******************************************* Journey To The Heart You’ll See the Answer The answer you are looking for may be right before your eyes. Have you asked the question? Have you put it out to God, the universe, yourself, and the world? What do I need to do now? What do I need to do next? Where and why am I stuck? What am I not seeing? What’s the answer? I need a clue. Often, asking the question means the answer is trying to find you. Follow your heart, then open your eyes. You’ll see it. The answer may be right in front of you. ******************************************* More Language Of Letting Go Say what’s next best Okay, so you can’t have what you want most in life. What’s next on your list? If you can’t have what you really want, put that aside. It’s a no. It doesn’t mean you can’t have other things. Don’t let it contaminate the rest of your life. So you can’t have that particular relationship. What do you want, a good healthy love relationship? Put it on your want list. So you can’t live in that house. What did you like about that house? What would you like in the place you want to live? Dig deeply. Look inside. I bet there’s all kinds of dreams buried in you. Go ahead. Take a risk. Let them come out. Look– you’re already thinking about something you denied yourself a long time ago. Most of us have things in life we wanted more than anything or anyone else. Many of us have had to learn to let these things or people go. Put all the things you can’t have on a different list. Or maybe add it to your list of questions to God, your “why’s.” “God, why couldn’t I have that when it’s what I wanted most?” Then let it go. Now make another list. Call it, “if I can’t have what I wanted most, what would I want next best, after that. God, help me come up with a next best list. Show me what to put on it and help my dreams come true. Activity: Make a wishes and dreams list. This is a very important list. We talked about doing it at the first of the year. If you made your list then and are satisfied with it, maybe this activity isn’t for you. But if you think you may have held back, or you didn’t make the list at all, the time is right for you to start pursuing your dreams. If you could have anything in life, what would it be? What places would you visit? What peope would you meet? What kind of work would you do? Where would you live? What kind of spiritual growth would you experience? How would you treat others, and yourself? What ideals would guide your actions? What would your ethics be in life? Spice this list up. Don’t hold back. ******************************************* Co-Creating with Nature Conscious Gardening by Madisyn Taylor When we decide to give up control of our garden and work in cooperation with the earth, your garden and your life will blossom. Gardens offer us a perfect opportunity to reconnect to our true selves and remember our place in the natural world. Rather than approach our gardens as mere investments of energy, we can look at the entire process of gardening, from planting seeds to harvesting food, as a way of deepening our conscious relationship with the creative force of the universe. If we are willing to shift our intention from dominating, or at least directing nature, to co-creating with nature instead, we may discover a deep peace and renewed sense of wonder. To co-create we must first begin with a foundation of mutual respect. As you create your garden in partnership with nature, you can respect the earth, water, insects and animals by using organic seeds, soil and fertilizers. You can also communicate with the plants, insects and elements involved in your garden, and create a regular practice of stillness to listen for any messages they may have for you. When it comes time for harvesting fresh vegetables or picking beautiful blooms, you might even ask permission first. If you ask with an open heart, you will always receive an answer. Imagine what it would be like to surrender certain aspects of your human world to the precision and surety of the natural environment. You might decide, for example, to forego your calendar and plant in rhythm with the cycles of the moon. Or, you might choose to ignore clock time and water your garden when the sun hits a certain position in the sky. By opening your garden experience to more of nature’s input, you can become available to witness a whole universe of miracles, while engendering a greater sense of honor between the two worlds. When we recognize ourselves as allies, co-creators, with the earth and the natural world, our relationship to our environment begins to change. We no longer feel the need to control the circumstances around us and can relish in the perfection of all that is. Published with permission from Daily OM ******************************************* In God’s Care God is no enemy to you. He asks no more than that He hear you call Him “Friend.” ~~A Course in Miracles It is natural for us to take a bit of pride in where we find ourselves today. It is natural for self-centered people like us to think we owe it all to our own efforts. So it’s an imposition to be asked to turn our will over to our Creator. We sometimes feel resentful at the suggestion that God can do a better job of running our life. We don’t even want to think about the sacrifices we might have to make with God in charge. But God doesn’t ask for sacrifice. God is not our enemy; we are. God only asks, as our friend, to be included in our decisions. My prayer today: Thanks, Friend, for my continuing recovery. Join me in everything that I do today. ******************************************* A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I once heard it said that “the mind is the slayer of the real.” Looking back at the insanity of those days when I was actively addicted, I know precisely what that phrase means. One of The Program’s important fringe benefits for me today is an increasing awareness of the world around me, so I can see and enjoy reality. This alone helps diminish the difficulties I so often magnify, creating my own misery in the process. Am I acquiring the sense of reality which is absolutely essential to serenity? Today I Pray May I be revived by a sharpened sense of reality, excited to see — for the first time since the blur of my worst moments — the wonders and opportunities in my world. Emerging from the don’t-care haze of addiction, I see objects and faces coming into focus again, colors brightening. May I take delight in this new-found brightness. Today I Will Remember To focus on my realities. ******************************************* One More Day Any real progress in the tangled world of emotions must be made by the individual. Each of us must hold the mirror to our own souls and gaze intently at what we see there. – Benard S. Raskas “Making do” is an old-fashioned phrase that signifies our ability to manage with whatever we have. We have all thought of that phrase in terms of food, money, or clothes, but rarely in terms of health. If we have not begun to cope with our limitations, we may find ourselves wallowing in the negativity of self-pity or anger. We may become so entangled in these self defeating thoughts that we lose our ability to grow and to see other real choices. Instead of raging at the unfairness of poor health or limited mobility, we can “make do” with the strength, time, ability, and creativity we sill have. I will use what I have and not bemoan what I don’t have. ************************************ Food For Thought Helping Others Twelfth Step work is essential in OA, since in order to keep the program ourselves we have to give it away. Each of us finds opportunities to share what we have received. It is discouraging when someone we wish to help turns down the program. It is hard to know what to say or do when a friend who needs OA responds to our efforts with indifference or hostility. Sometimes, those we are trying to help take advantage of our time and patience. Often, we feel inadequate when we encounter a person with seemingly overwhelming and insoluble problems. As we go about our Twelfth Step work, let's remember that the best way we can help someone else is by maintaining our own abstinence. Let's also remember to turn over our perplexities to our Higher Power. We do the best we can, according to the insight we are given at the time, and we leave the results to God. Show me what to do for those I would help. ***************************************** One Day At A Time PAIN “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” Kahlil Gibran How many of us in recovery thought we were in pain before seeking help, only to find that recovery itself was even more painful? I know that is how my progress in Twelve Step recovery from compulsive eating has been. Fortunately, pain in recovery doesn’t break my spirit the way pain did before I started working the Twelve Steps. As I work my recovery, the walls that I had built for protection around my inner-spirit are being slowly broken down and moved away. This changing and renewing of my inner-self is extremely painful at times. If I didn’t have the tools of the program, (such as sponsorship, a food plan, working the Steps, and conscious contact with my Higher Power) there would be no understanding born out of my pain. Before recovery, the pain would start to fill my inner-shell with self-pity, self-disgust and despair. Now when the pain comes to me, I’ve slowly learned to embrace it and hold it close to my heart. This new pain means that I will be shown by my Higher Power the insight and understanding needed for me to continue this daily recovery process. Does this mean I am filled with joy as I see the pain coming? Absolutely not! This means that I now have a power greater than myself to shield me from the pain that would break me. After feeling the pain needed to give me understanding, I am given healing to continue my journey. One Day at a Time . . . I will seek to feel and face the pain on this journey, knowing that understanding and healing will follow through my Higher Power's hand. ~ Ohitika ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic EVER recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. - Pg. 30 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Have you identified yourself clearly as a chemically dependent person suffering from a chronic disease? We have short memories and it is easy to forget why we sought help in the first place. In this disease, only abstinence can pave the way to recovery, so we must never lose sight of our first step. I admit that I suffer from the disease of addiction and this is my first step toward health--help me remember! I Say Thanks Today I will say thank you. If someone does something for me, I will say thank you. If I feel good when I wake up I will say thank you. When I have food that gives me pleasure and nourishment, I will appreciate its flavor. If the world provides me with another day of what I need to keep going, I will say thank you for being alive, for my health, my family and my friends. As I show appreciation a curious thing happens, I get more of what I am saying thank you for. People want to be appreciated; saying thank you allows them to give with pleasure. Life wants to be appreciated; saying thank you allows life to give with pleasure. I do not take things for granted - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote There will be many times when nothing anyone does, including yourself, seems right. But these 'nothing is ever right' times pass like a cloud over-head. Do not make decisions until the cloud passes, so that you make them in the full light of your good senses. I do not make decisions when 'nothing is going right.' How can my decision be right if nothing else is? "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book What We Resist - Persists Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I picture myself flooded with the glow of a powerful bright light that is guiding me on my positive path of success and happiness. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I never heard a better name for booze than Lunatic Soup. - Trip S.
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04-08-2021, 10:06 AM | #17 |
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April 17
Daily Reflections LOVE AND FEAR AS OPPOSITES All these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49 "Fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there." I don't know to whom this quote should be attributed, but it certainly indicates clearly that fear is an illusion. I create the illusion myself. I experienced fear early in my life and I mistakenly thought that the mere presence of it made me a coward. I didn't know that one of the definitions of "courage" is "the willingness to do the right thing in spite of fear." Courage, then, is not necessarily the absence of fear. During the times I didn't have love in my life I most assuredly had fear. To fear God is to be afraid of joy. In looking back, I realize that, during the times I feared God most, there was no joy in my life. As I learned not to fear God, I also learned to experience joy. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Every time we go to an A.A. meeting, every time we say the Lord's Prayer, every time we have a quiet time before breakfast, we're paying a premium on our insurance against taking that first drink. And every time we help another alcoholic, we're making a large payment on our drink insurance. We're making sure that our policy doesn't lapse. Am I building up an endowment in serenity, peace, and happiness that will put me on easy street for the rest of my life? Meditation For The Day I gain faith by my own experience of God's power in my life. The constant, persistent recognition of God's spirit in all my personal relationships, the ever accumulating weight of evidence in support of God's guidance, the numberless instances in which seeming chance or wonderful coincidence can be traced to God's purpose in my life. All these things gradually engender a feeling of wonder, humility, and gratitude to God. These in turn are followed by a more sure and abiding faith in God and His purposes. Prayer For The Day I pray that my faith may be strengthened every day. I pray that I may find confirmation of my life in the good things that have come into my life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Learn in Quiet, p. 108 In 1941, a news clipping was called to our attention by a New York member. In an obituary notice from a local paper, there appeared these words: "God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Never had we seen so much A.A. in so few words. With amazing speed the Serenity Prayer came into general use. << << << >> >> >> In meditation, debate has no place. We rest quietly with the thoughts or prayers of spiritually centered people who understand, so that we may experience and learn. This is the state of being that so often discovers and deepens a conscious contact with God. 1. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 196 2. 12 & 12, pp. 101-100 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places We can't go home again…. Living here and now. Despite all evidence that we must live for today, some of us persist in trying to recapture the past. We may be holding a few good memories that we would like to bring alive today. More likely, we may also be re-fighting old battles in the hope that this time we'll come out winners. But since change is taking place everywhere at every moment, we can never return to any previous place or time. Time does march on, and we are part of the parade. Whether we were winners or losers in the past, we can live only in the here and now. The good news is that we can retain any lessons from the past and put them to use today. If we have scalding memories of twisted relationships, we can remind ourselves that growth and understanding now place us out of harm’s way. And if we remember the things that did turn our right even in the confused past, we can reflect that even greater good is possible today. Our home is never in the past. It is in the time and place where we are today. As we make the best of it, all of our future homes in place and time will improve, for “in God’s house are many mansions.” Accepting the value of all of its lessons, I will close the door firmly on the past, knowing that I must devote all of my interest and energies to the present moment. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple We create revolution by living it.---Jerry Rubin There’s a lot wrong in the world---Child abuse, homeless and hungry people, pollution. Our old way of dealing with these troubles was to break the rules or to “drop out” by using chemicals. Now we have a new way to change the world. We’re changing ourselves. One Day at a Time, we’re acting like the caring , responsible people we want to be. We use the ideas of the program in our lives. We’re kinder. We’re more honest. We stand up for ourselves and for others who need our help. What if the whole world started working the Steps? What a wonderful world this would be! Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, please work through me today. Help me make the world a little better place. Action for the Day: I’ll list one thing that brothers me about the world today. How can using the ideas of the program help solve that problem? Remember, the program tells us to look at our own behavior. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I can stand what I know. It's what I don't know that frightens me. --Frances Newton Fear of the unknown, often referred to as free-floating anxiety, catches up to us on occasion. But it needn't. The program offers us strength whenever we need it, and faith diminishes all fear. It is said that fear cannot exist where there is faith. We have many days when we feel strong, in touch with our higher power, able to meet all situations. On those days, we are seldom conscious of how our faith is guiding us. But the hours of fear that we experience on other days make us aware of faith's absence. There is a simple solution: We can reach out to a friend. We can be attentive to her needs, and the connection to God will be made. Shifting our focus, from self-centered fears to another person's needs, offers us a perspective on our own life. It also offers us a chance to let God work through us. Our own faith is strengthened each time we offer our services to God and to a friend in need. What may frighten us seems less important the closer we are to the people in our lives. When I touch someone else, God touches me in return. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance. p. 96 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. The next afternoon and evening, two other men visited me, and each told me his tory and the things that they were doing to try to recovery from this tragic illness. They had that certain something that seemed to glow, a peace, a serenity combined with happiness. In the next two or three days the balance of this handful of men contacted me, encouraged me, and told me how they were trying to live this program of recovery and the fun they were having doing it. pp. 261-262 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." When A.A. was only three years old, an event occurred demonstrating this principle. One of the first members of A.A., entirely contrary to his own desires, was obliged to conform to group opinion. Here is the story in his words. "One day I was doing a Twelfth Step job at a hospital in New York. The proprietor, Charlie, summoned me to his office. `Bill,' he said, `I think it's a shame that you are financially so hard up. All around you these drunks are getting well and making money. But you're giving this work full time, and you're broke. It isn't fair.' Charlie fished in his desk and came up with and old financial statement. Handing it to me, he continued, `This shows the kind of money the hospital used to make back in the 1920's. Thousands of dollars a month. It should be doing just as well now, and it would - if only you'd help me. so why don't you move your work in here? I'll give you and office, a decent drawing account, and a very healthy slice of the profits. Three years ago, when my head doctor, Silkworth, began to tell me of the idea of helping drunks by spirituality, I thought it was crackpot stuff, but I've changed my mind. some day this bunch of ex-drunks of yours will fill Madison Square Garden, and I don't see why you should starve meanwhile. What I propose is perfectly ethical. You can become a lay therapist, and more successful than anybody in the business.' pp. 135-136 ************************************************** ********* See with your heart not with your eyes for beauty lies everywhere. The mind reasons. The heart knows. Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. --Martin Luther King Jr. God, help me take guided action, then surrender to your will. Help me remember that true power comes from aligning my will, intentions, and desires with you. --Melody Beattie God, help me learn to take care of myself and live with passion, compassion, and an open heart. --Melody Beattie Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes. --Unknown Compromise often leads to the solution to a problem, so keep your heart open to it. God is with us through all the changes in our lives. --Greg Faggart ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation POWER "Power does not corrupt. Fear corrupts, perhaps the fear of loss of power." --John Steinbeck In my recovery I am beginning to understand that so much "power" in the world is really fear. The power that seeks to attack first in order to feel secure is really fear. The power that always has to have an answer is really fear. The power that arrogantly refuses to listen is really fear. So much power is "fear" dressed in illusion! Spiritual power has the ability to be vulnerable. It can live with confusion. It can stand alone. It allows others to walk away to pursue their happiness. Spiritual power can exist in suffering and loneliness, and it does not expect perfection. My recovery is teaching me to live and let others live, too. My freedom must respect the freedom of others; respect is a two-way street! Give me the power that can rest in imperfection. ************************************************** ********* "My child, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments; for length of days and years of life and abundant welfare they will give you." Proverbs 3:1 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration It's very possible that our problems may not be as big as they seem and could sometimes actually be a blessing. Lord, I place my trust in You to see me through my trials and help me to become a stronger and wiser person because of them. Enthusiasm will be yours if you love God, love people, and love life. Lord, the nearer I follow Your way, the happier I become. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Priority: Meetings "I initially felt that it would be impossible to attend more than one or two meetings a week. It just wouldn't fit in with my busy schedule. I later learned that my priorities were [180] degrees reversed. It was the everything else that would have to fit into my meeting schedule." Basic Text p. 204 Some of us attended meetings infrequently when we first came to Narcotics Anonymous, then wondered why we couldn't stay clean. What we soon learned was that if we wanted to stay clean, we had to make meeting attendance our priority. So we began again. Following our sponsor's suggestion, we made a commitment to attend ninety meetings in ninety days. We identified ourselves as newcomers for our first thirty days so that others could get to know us. At our sponsor's direction, we stopped talking long enough to learn to listen. We soon began to look forward to meetings. And we began to stay clean. Today, we attend meetings for a variety of reasons. Sometimes we go to meetings to share our experience, strength, and hope with newer members. Sometimes we go to see our friends. And sometimes we go just because we need a hug. Occasionally we leave a meeting and realize that we haven't really heard a word that's been said—but we still feel better The atmosphere of love and joy that fills our meetings has kept us clean another day. No matter how hectic our schedule, we make meeting attendance our priority. Just for today: In my heart, I know that meetings benefit me in all kinds of ways. Today, I want what's good for me. I will attend a meeting. pg. 111 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. If your heart catches in your throat ask a bird how she sings. --Cooper Edens The idea of your heart getting caught in your throat and then asking a bird how she sings may seem silly. It is, but being silly is sometimes exactly what we need. Instead of always trying to figure out the lumps in our throats, we can learn how to sing with them. Birds sing all day. Their songs are lighthearted and playful. And they bring us color along with their songs. We have all stopped to notice a special bird outside the window. A bird song can be a lullaby. It can be laughter. We need these things in our lives, too. By playing and laughing, we change the lumps in our throats to songs. What sadness can I turn into song today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. It is extraordinary how extraordinary the ordinary person is. --George F. Will At our meetings, we often hear stories of the courage of ordinary people and their triumph against great odds. When we hear of a person's life being restored, we are witnesses to miracles. Our friends are heroes and so are we. As a man describes his passage from insanity to recovery, we are moved. Whenever we are truly open to knowing the people around us, whether at a meeting or in getting to know a neighbor, we will see heroism. It is amazing that when we get to know most people, and hear what their lives have been like, we find so much to admire and respect. It is a privilege to have such friends. It is amazing that they are so abundant when we open ourselves to them. God truly does speak to us through others. I am grateful when I think about the extraordinary people around me and the courage in each of them. I am grateful to be among them. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I can stand what I know. It's what I don't know that frightens me. --Frances Newton Fear of the unknown, often referred to as free-floating anxiety, catches up to us on occasion. But it needn't. The program offers us strength whenever we need it, and faith diminishes all fear. It is said that fear cannot exist where there is faith. We have many days when we feel strong, in touch with our higher power, able to meet all situations. On those days, we are seldom conscious of how our faith is guiding us. But the hours of fear that we experience on other days make us aware of faith's absence. There is a simple solution: We can reach out to a friend. We can be attentive to her needs, and the connection to God will be made. Shifting our focus, from self-centered fears to another person's needs, offers us a perspective on our own life. It also offers us a chance to let God work through us. Our own faith is strengthened each time we offer our services to God and to a friend in need. What may frighten us seems less important the closer we are to the people in our lives. When I touch someone else, God touches me in return. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Taking Care of Ourselves We often refer to recovery from codependency and adult child issues as self care. Self care is not, as some may think, a spin off of the me generation. It isn't self-indulgence. It isn't selfishness - in the negative interpretation of that word. Were learning to take care of ourselves, instead of obsessively focusing on another person. Were learning self-responsibility, instead of feeling excessively responsible for others. Self care also means tending to our true responsibilities to others; we do this better when were not feeling overly responsible. Self care sometimes means, me first, but usually, me too. It means we are responsible for ourselves and can choose to no longer be victims. Self care means learning to love the person were responsible for taking care of - ourselves. We do not do this to hibernate in a cocoon of isolation and self indulgence; we do it so we can better love others, and learn to let them love us. Self-care isn't selfish; its self-esteem. Today, God, help me love myself. Help me let go of feeling excessively responsible for those around me. Show me what I need to do to take care of myself and be appropriately responsible to others. Today I choose to think positive and loving thoughts. I know that if I do this I will feel loving and positive and create a positive and loving world for those around me. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey To The Heart Listen to the Voice of Your Heart Cultivate the art of listening to your intuition, your inner voice. This is the guidance of your heart. It’s a voice that speaks differently from the one in your head. The heart whispers softly, the head prattles loudly. The head has an agenda for our lives. It chatters away boldly, but its vision is limited. It leaves no room for the mysterious workings of the universe, nor does it take into account the side trips we need to get where we’re going, where our souls need to go. It’s the voice that says, This is the way it’s going to be. The heart, the inner voice, speaks differently. Sometimes it whispers. Sometimes it pulls. Sometimes it pushes. It’s spontaneous, in the present moment, and often a surprise. The heart takes into account what has to be done and the best way to do that. The heart takes emotions into account– the way things feel, the way you feel, the wisdom of your soul. The heart leads us into and through the lessons we’re here to learn. Cultivate your inner voice. Practice listening to the whispers of your heart. Practice trusting your intuition, what you really feel, what you really know. Practice until that voice is the one that you hear. Be patient. Be gentle. Let yourself learn to hear the gentle and trustworthy words of your heart. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Keep your balance Sometimes, our legitimate needs and wants run amuck. We want something so badly– for instance our spouse sobering up, or that job, or that woman or that man– that we begin to obsess and dwell. We take ourselves out of that place of balance and end up in a no-win tailspin. It’s not that what we want and need is bad for us. It’s just that right now, what we want isn’t, obviously, taking place. Don’t take it out on yourself by judging yourself wrong. Don’t take it out on your needs by telling yourself you shouldn’t have any. Relax. Come back to center, to that clear, balanced place. Don’t let your needs and desires run away with you. Yes, passion is great stuff. Identify what you want. Then let it go. And ask God what your lesson is. Today, I will come back to balance with any need or want that seems to be controlling my life. Instead of dwelling on it, I’ll give it to God and focus on taking care of myself. ****************************************** In God’s Care Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing. ~~Albert Schweitzer Throughout our life we’ve been influenced by other people’s behavior and opinions. Many of us were influenced by very poor examples in earlier years. And we may have to pray for help rather than continuing to follow those poor examples now. But all around us are people who are healthy, loving, and honest. We are invited to emulate their behavior. Acting As If can help us develop new behaviors. We may not feel very comfortable reaching out to a program newcomer or making conversation with someone we’ve just met, but we can do it. And in time, with practice, we’ll discover we’ve added a positive dimension to our character, one that influences the lives of other people who struggle just like us. All of us, Acting As If in positive ways, offer wonderful examples of behavior change. We reinforce our own changes, and each others every time we are thoughtful before we act. With my Higher Power’s help, I will be a good example for someone today. ****************************************** Raising Our Consciousness Stepping out from Where We Were by Madisyn Taylor We cannot gain a sense of power in our lives while identifying ourselves as a victim. Albert Einstein said, “No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it. We must learn to see the world anew.” A Nobel Prize winner, Albert Einstein’s scientific theories transformed the world’s understanding of the universe and its workings, so we can believe that these words come from his personal experience and helped him to explore both science and life itself. He offered us an example of what can be learned by looking deeply into nature to reach a deeper understanding of all life and by following our ideas to their logical conclusions in our minds before acting upon them in the world. When we apply this quote to our lives, we can see that we cannot create abundance by staying in a consciousness of poverty, nor can we gain a sense of power in our lives while identifying ourselves as a victim. Situations begun from anger or fear can have little chance of reaching a state of peace and trust unless someone involved can conceive of that possibility and act upon it. We need to find ways to step outside of our limited understanding in order to seek a bigger picture. One way to do this is to shift our perspective to see the situation from another’s point of view and ideally the perspective of all others involved. Even if we can’t truly know another’s motivations, by imagining what they might be, we open ourselves up to numerous possibilities and an expanded vision. This alone can shift our feelings of anger to compassion and the desire for a positive solution for all involved. Once we have opened our mind to greater possibilities, we can connect to our higher self for inspired solutions. From the peace at our center, we gain distance from our emotions to connect to intuitive wisdom that offers us understanding of the underlying causes and the inspiration needed to guide our steps in a new direction. Albert Einstein showed us the impact that can be made when we raise our consciousness and allow ourselves to imagine the possibilities. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day The Program teaches me to remain on guard against impatience, lapses into self-pity, and resentments of the words and deeds of others. Though I must never forget what it used to be like, neither should I permit myself to take tormenting excursions into the past — merely for the sake of self-indulgent morbidity. Now that I’m alert to the danger signals, I know I’m improving day by day. If a crisis arises, or any problem baffles me, do I hold it up to the light of the Serenity Prayer? Today I Pray I pray for perspective as I review the past. May I curb my impulses to upstage and outdo the members of my group by regaling them with the horrors of my addiction. May I no longer use the past to document my self-pity or submerge myself in guilt. May memories of those miserable earlier days serve me only as sentinels, guarding against hazardous situations or unhealthy sets of mind. Today I Will Remember I cannot change the past. ****************************************** One More Day The Great and glorious masterpiece of man is to know how to live to purpose. – Montaigne When we undergo any crisis, it’s quite common for self-esteem to take a plunge. If life seems to hand us one crisis after another, our feelings of self-worth may vary from day to day. Once we get used to the newest change (perhaps this time it is diminished health) we begin to realize that only we are capable of nurturing ourselves. We can solve some of our problems by setting new, more realistic goals, goals that we can reach successfully. Then our damaged self-esteem can start to become whole once again. I am capable of taking better care of myself by setting challenging goals and by doing things I love to do. ************************************ Food For Thought Easy Does It Strain and struggle abound when we try to do everything ourselves, our way. We want positive change to occur immediately and expect miracles to happen according to our personal timetable. We sometimes feel that if our Higher Power is guiding us, we should be able to accomplish great and marvelous things constantly. To remember "easy does it" is to humbly realize that we are not all powerful and that God does not expect us to be all things to all people. Growth is slow, time belongs to God, and change will occur according to His plan. If we do the jobs we have been given for this 24-hour period, our Higher Power will take care of tomorrow. How much more agreeable life is when we do not overextend ourselves but admit our weakness and trust God to take care of us. We do not shirk our share, but we do not try to carry the whole load. Only our Higher Power is strong enough to do that. Take from our lives the strain and stress. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ FORGIVENESS Forgiving is not forgetting; it's letting go of the hurt. Mary McCleod Bethune When I first came into the program, I was so fired up with anger and resentment that I had no space for any other emotions. After all, I had the food which would anesthetize me against any emotions I didn't want to feel. I was angry with God for all the trauma and losses that had happened to me in my life. I blamed my mother for not being the kind of mother I wanted, which was, of course, why I ate. But the person towards whom I felt the most anger and resentment was my ex-husband, who never financially supported my children, making my financial burden and my present husband's very heavy. What made it worse was that he was good to the children and they thought he was great because they would have fun with him on a weekend, while we had all the financial responsibilty and resulting worry. But when I came to Step Eight, my sponsor gently reminded me that I needed to forgive the people towards whom I felt the most anger, namely my mother and my ex-husband. My mother had passed away and so I had to write a long letter to her, forgiving her for not being the person I wanted her to be and also making amends to her for my part in it all. I realize now that she did the best she knew how, just as I have done with my children, and I have been able to forgive her with love. When it came to forgiving my ex-husband, I knew that I wasn't able forgive him in person, but I was able to write a letter to him which I never sent. In it, I forgave him for being the irresponsible person that he is. It was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. When my younger daughter had her 21st birthday, I could be there for her and not spoil it as I had done before, and in fact, I could be almost friendly to her father. As a result, the relationship with all my children has improved a hundredfold, but more importantly, I'm a much better person for it. One day at a time... I will forgive the people who have harmed me, let them go with love, and entrust them to their Higher Power. ~ Sharon ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances! - Pg. 100 - Working With Others Hour To Hour - Book - Quote My sponsor told me to listen to people, that anyone (even people that I hate or have resentments towards) are right over half the time. (Bryan C.) Giving of Myself I will not give things instead of love. I will recognize that the people who need and depend on me for that sustaining kind of love and attention will be hurt and confused if I ignore their real need for me. I need to give those who are close to me real love. They have cast their fate with mine and I owe them this. They depend on me and I need to understand that and step up to the plate and do what's necessary and right. I will also be appropriately grateful, when those I need and depend upon give me the caring and concern that nourishes my heart. I give of my time and attention - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote It is not unusual for people to say something and then consider it done. They forget to actually do it. Do not say 'I will go to more meetings; I will get a sponsor soon; I must work with newcomers,' then consider it done. You must actually do these things to have them work for you. I let go of doing life in my head. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book When we dwell on the problem, the problem gets bigger. When we dwell on the solution, the solution gets bigger. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I will open myself up to all the possibilities around me today, leaving my fear of change behind. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote The person I was drank. The person I was will drink again. - Anon.
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April 18
Daily Reflections SELF-HONESTY The deception of others is nearly always rooted in the deception of ourselves. . . . When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 17 When I was drinking, I deceived myself about reality, rewriting it to what I wanted it to be. Deceiving others is a character defect--even if it is just stretching the truth a bit or cleaning up my motives so others would think well of me. My Higher Power can remove this character defect, but first I have to help myself become willing to receive that help by not practicing deception. I need to remember each day that deceiving myself about myself is setting myself up for failure or disappointment in life and in Alcoholics Anonymous. A close, honest relationship with a Higher Power is the only solid foundation I've found for honesty with self and with others. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day As I look back over my drinking career, have I learned that you take out of life what you put into it? When I put drinking into my life, did I take out a lot of bad things? Hospitals with the D.T.'s? Jails for drunken driving? Loss of job? Loss of home and family? When I put drinking into my life, was almost everything I took out bad? Meditation For The Day I should strive for a friendliness and helpfulness that will affect all who come near to me. I should try to see something to love in them. I should welcome them, bestow little courtesies and understandings on them, and help them if they ask for help. I must send no one away without a word of cheer, a feeling that I really care about them. God may have put the impulse in some despairing one's mind to come to me. I must not fail God by repulsing that person. They may not want to communicate with me unless they are sure of a warm welcome. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may warmly welcome all who come to me for help. I pray that I may make them feel that I really care. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Freedom Through Acceptance, p. 109 We admitted we couldn't lick alcohol with our own remaining resources, and so we accepted the further fact that dependence upon a Higher Power (if only our A.A. group) could do this hitherto impossible job. The moment we were able to accept these facts fully, our release from the alcohol compulsion had begun. For most of us, this pair of acceptances had required a lot of exertion to achieve. Our whole treasured philosophy of self-sufficiency had to be cast aside. This had not been done with sheer will power; it came instead as the result of developing the willingness to accept these new facts of living. We neither ran nor fought. But accept we did. And then we begun to be free. Grapevine, March 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Mistakes are for learning_____Personal growth. One sign of an alcoholic's immaturity is revealed in responses to personal mistakes. We take each simple mistake as further proof of our inadequacy. As one person observed, "I can handle a general catastrophe, but running my nylons can ruin my day." Some of us may feel we're victims of past conditioning… a parent, for example, who berated us when the slightest thing went wrong. But we're at fault if we continue to let ourselves be victimized by such experience. We should give no person.. past, present, or future---the right to set the level of our self-esteem . Properly viewed, all mistakes are for learning purposes. We often have to make a few mistakes before we can learn anything. Sometimes a mistake can occur simply to teach us one basic lesson… that we are human and cannot be perfect in everything we do. Above, all, we should never condemn ourselves for the countless mistakes that occurred while we were drinking. Our alcoholism, a terrible mistake in the sight of many, led to the deep learning we find in AA. Nothing that brings us this far can really be a mistake in the sight of God. In sobriety, I'm learning tolerate the shortcomings and mistakes of others. I will extend the same grace to myself today if I make a simple mistake. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Patience is needed with everyone, but first of all with ourselves. ---St. Francis de Sales How do you treat yourself? Do you talk to yourself in a kind and loving voice? We can’t be kind and loving to others until we learn to be kind and loving with ourselves. To live this way, we must give ourselves the gift of patience. Let’s practice patience with ourselves daily. Practice talking to yourself in a kind, loving voice. Your voice will be that of a loving parent who helps a child with a new task. Your Higher Power Is willing to be patient with you. Give yourself the same gift. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I pray that I’ll treat myself and others with the same loving patience You’ve shown me. Action for the Day: I will listen to how I talk to myself. I will practice talking to myself with a kind, loving, and patient voice. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning To oppose something is to maintain it. --Ursula K. LeGuin Most of our struggles are with other persons or perhaps situations we want to change. We discover that our continual opposition adds fuel to the fires (at least our own internal ones). But can we turn our backs when we feel justified in our opposition? There's perhaps no more difficult action to take than to walk away from those situations we feel so strongly about, but the wisdom of this program says, "Let go and let God." And when we do let go, as if by magic, relief comes. The fires die out. That which we opposed is less troubling, maybe even gone. We no longer feel the need to struggle today. The need may rise again, but again we can turn to our higher power. Trusting that relief awaits us, ensures its arrival. As women we discover many opportunities for opposition, too many persons and situations that make difficult our changing roles--too many persons who don't easily accept our changing characters. The strength to let go and let God we must share with one another. I maintain my struggles with righteous behavior. They lose their sting when they lose my opposition. I will step aside and let God. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Suppose now you are making your second visit to a man. He has read this volume and says he is prepared to go through with the Twelve Steps of the program of recovery. Having had the experience yourself, you can give him much practical advice. Let him know you are available if he wishes to make a decision and tell his story, but do not insist upon it if he prefers to consult someone else. p. 96 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. Then and then only, after a thorough indoctrination by eight or nine individuals, was I allowed to attend my first meeting. This first meeting was held in the living room of a home and was led by Bill D., the first man that Bill W. and Dr. Bob had worked with successfully. p. 262 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." "I was bowled over. There were a few twinges of conscience until I saw how really ethical Charlie's proposal was. There was nothing wrong whatever with becoming a lay therapist. I thought of Lois coming home exhausted from the department store each day, only to cook supper for a houseful of drunks who weren't paying board. I thought of the large sum of money still owing my Wall Street creditors. I thought of a few of my alcoholic friends, who were making as much money as ever. Why shouldn't I do as well as they? pp. 136-137 ************************************************** ********* Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it. --Michael Jordan Live For Today. . . Yesterday's History. . . And Tomorrow Belongs To God The will of God will never take you to where the grace of God will not protect you. To gain that which is worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else. --Bernadette Devlin A good mountain climber never looks up to see how far he has to go............ He looks down to see how far he's come. --Mark Kostew The difficulties of life are intended to make us better not bitter. "Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see a bird that had the blues? One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses." --Dale Carnegie ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation GOD "Any God I ever felt in Church I brought in with me. And I think all the other folks did, too. They come to Church to share God, not find God." --Alice Walker God is within us! At one time I would find that statement blasphemous or incomprehensible. I always thought God was a long way off - separate, unknowable and judgmental. He was much more a judge than a friend. I saw myself more the sinner than the son. Naturally, with such a low self-esteem it was hard to associate God with my life, let alone consider God existing within me! Then I began to search for the spiritual path that leads to a deeper understanding of self - and I found a loving, gentle and friendly God. His love was so pervasive in His world that I was able to discover Him in my life and the lives of others. The concept of meeting together to share God made sense. The concept of discovering a God within and without made God knowable and comprehensible. Because God lives in me, I am alive. Master, in the breaking of the bread, may I share Your life in my world. ************************************************** ********* "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles." Isaiah 40:31 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9 "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?" Matthew 6:25 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Spend some of your time in prayer just being with God. Lord, for the moment I am letting go of my concerns so that I can feel Your presence in my life. Thoughts are powerful, so pay close attention to what you think about. Lord, help me to think thoughts of love, peace and abundance so that this becomes my experience. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today "I Understand" "We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." Step Seven Once we are entirely ready to have our character defects removed, many of us are entirely ready! Ironically, that's when the trouble really starts. The more we struggle to rid ourselves of a particular defect, the stronger that shortcoming seems to become. It is truly humbling to realize that not only are we powerless over our addiction, but even over our own defects of character. Finally, it clicks. The Seventh Step doesn't suggest that we rid ourselves of our shortcomings, but that we ask our Higher Power to rid us of them. The focus of our daily prayers begins to shift. Admitting our inability to perfect ourselves, we plead with our Higher Power to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. And we wait. For many days, our program may stay on Step Seven. We may experience no sudden, total relief from defects - but we often do experience a subtle shift in our perceptions of ourselves and others. Through the eyes of the Seventh Step, we begin to see those around us in a less critical way. We know that, just like us, many of them are struggling with shortcomings they would dearly love to be rid of. We know that, just like us, they are powerless over their own defects. We wonder if they, too, humbly pray to have their defects removed. We begin evaluating others as we have learned to evaluate ourselves, with an empathy born of humility. As we watch others, and as we keep watch on ourselves, we can finally say, "I understand." Just for today: God, help me see through the eyes of Step Seven. Help me understand. pg. 112 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Gifts are for giving. --Ian and Sylvia Tyson Many years ago, a young woman named Dorothy was very talented at china painting. She painted tiny scenes on china dishes, the way people today paint on wood and Easter eggs. Then Dorothy fell in love, got married, and decided she had no time to paint. But as her children grew, they loved to stand at the china cabinet and stare at all her tiny pictures--each one seemed to hold its own special world. Years passed, and Dorothy's grandchildren also loved to stand and stare at the paintings. Everybody loved her work. They wondered why she didn't take up painting again, but she wouldn't say. Her love of painting seemed to be locked away. When we give up some talent of our own because we don't have time for it, we lock away part of ourselves. When we imprison our talents, we limit our possibilities. But when we make self-expression a natural part of our day, others can gather around and enjoy the results. There is always room for our talents because they create worlds of their own. Am I locking something away because I don't have the time? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Free man is by necessity insecure; thinking man by necessity uncertain. --Erich Fromm We hear comments like, "Hang in there!" "Don't quit now," "Don't give up the ship!" When our outlook is gloomy and pessimistic, we should remember we are not in charge and we are not all knowing. We cannot predict what will be around the next corner. If a difficult problem looms before us, we cannot be sure what help might also be there for us to meet the problem. Our compulsion for control tempts us to quit and give ourselves over to defeat. Then the outcome would be settled and predictable. We no longer would have to live with the insecurity of not knowing the future. When we are tempted to indulge in our addictive ways, or to return to a relationship that isn't good for us, or to face a painful problem, it helps to recall that change is a basic fact of life. However stressful this moment is, it will change. Not at our command, but it will change. We aren't in control of outcomes, but we can choose now to "hang in there" and to give our energy only toward positive solutions. May I have the serenity to accept the process and the courage to be true to my part. Outcomes I will leave for the future. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. To oppose something is to maintain it. --Ursula K. LeGuin Most of our struggles are with other persons or perhaps situations we want to change. We discover that our continual opposition adds fuel to the fires (at least our own internal ones). But can we turn our backs when we feel justified in our opposition? There's perhaps no more difficult action to take than to walk away from those situations we feel so strongly about, but the wisdom of this program says, "Let go and let God." And when we do let go, as if by magic, relief comes. The fires die out. That which we opposed is less troubling, maybe even gone. We no longer feel the need to struggle today. The need may rise again, but again we can turn to our higher power. Trusting that relief awaits us, ensures its arrival. As women we discover many opportunities for opposition, too many persons and situations that make difficult our changing roles--too many persons who don't easily accept our changing characters. The strength to let go and let God we must share with one another. I maintain my struggles with righteous behavior. They lose their sting when they lose my opposition. I will step aside and let God. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Freedom Many of us were oppressed and victimized as children. As adults, we may continue to keep ourselves oppressed. Some of us don't recognize that caretaking and not setting boundaries will leave us feeling victimized. Some of us don't understand that thinking of ourselves, as victims will leave us feeling oppressed. Some of us don't know that we hold the key to our own freedom. That key is honoring ourselves, and taking care of ourselves. We can say what we mean, and mean what we say. We can stop waiting for others to give us what we need and take responsibility for ourselves. When we do, the gates to freedom will swing wide. Walk through. Today, I will understand that I hold the key to my freedom. I will stop participating in my oppression and victimization. I will take responsibility for myself, and let others do as they may. Today I need to do nothing more than pray and meditate. I trust that all the energies of the universe are working in my behalf. I can sleep comfortably in the knowledge that God is working when I am not. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey To The Heart There’s Magic in the Unknown Sometimes we’re out of ideas. We think and think but nothing comes. We don’t know what’s next. It feels like we’re at a dead end. But we’re not. That void, that dreaded blank spot is really a glorious magical place. Sometimes we have to run out of our ideas before we can open to any new ones. The reason we can’t see any further is because our ideas are limited by the past, by past experiences, by what life has been like before. Our future doesn’t have to be limited by our past. Life knows that. Now we can learn it,too. We’re not at a dead end. We’ve reached a new beginning. Now is a time of magic. Let the universe take your hand and show you things you have never seen before. Now, at last, you’re open and vulnerable enough to begin. Celebrate the magic, the mystery of the unknown. Celebrate the miracles that will certainly come. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Say what you really want What do you want? No, I’m not asking what thing you want, but rather what is it about that thing that you are seeking? Get to the root of your search. Do you want a new car? Do you want reliable transportation, or do you want the prestige that comes from driving a shiny new vehicle? Do you really want to do that kind of work, or do you just want the money and prestige you hope it will bring? Do you want a romantic relationship? Do you want a partnership based on equal ground, or do you want someone to take care of you? What is it that you’re really looking for? Get as specific as you can. When we examine our goals and dreams, we may find that they’re motivated by a deeper desire. I want to reach this point in my career, we say. Look deeper. What’s at the root of that goal? If what you’re desiring is creative freedom, maybe you can gain it in other ways than by getting a promotion. If you want your spouse to quit drinking, perhaps what you’re really seeking is a calmer home environment and relief from the pain. If you can’t make him or her stop drinking, maybe there’s another way you can achieve that dream. Or maybe you’ll decide that you can contribute to that now, while waiting for your loved one to change. Be honest in your search for the root of your goals. Some of the roots of your goals might not be so healthy after all; maybe the goal will need to change. But you could save yourself from heartache by discovering it now. Maybe the root is healthy, but you have placed too much value on following only one path to reach it. Be aware of all the opportunities around you. Don’t sell life short. There may be more than one way to get what you really want. God, help me become aware of what I’m really seeking in life. ****************************************** In God’s Care How can anybody read the Gospels and fail to see how Jesus, in his contacts with all sorts and conditions of people, even the apparent good-for-nothings and worse, always seemed to find in them possibilities for sublime development? ~~Carroll E. Simcox Many of us feel we don’t deserve God’s love. We judge ourselves harshly and attribute the same judgment to God as the strict parent, the demanding teacher, or the punishing judge. We cannot belive that anyone could accept us as we are, and so we don’t turn toward God. Why do we feel this way? Perhaps because it’s hard to feel that God could love us when we so rerely received love without strings attached from others. Many of us remain skeptical even when newfound spiritual friends shower us with love. Though we may not realize it at the time, these friends are providing a human framework into which the unconditional love of God can fit. If these friends can accept us as we are, we think, maybe God will too. And of course God does. When my hand reaches out to another, God’s hand reaches back. ****************************************** Entering Awareness Finding Our Own Paths by Madisyn Taylor There is no one right path to awareness and each of us has our own path that is perfect for us. Entering into our own spirituality is a private journey. Each of us will be drawn to a different gateway to begin on our personal path to awakening to a greater experience of ourselves. Even though we may be taught certain philosophies or beliefs as children, we still need to find our own way of understanding and applying them in our lives. For those who are raised without a spiritual framework, they may not even know their process as a form of spirituality. But at some stage in their lives, whether in youth or adulthood, they are likely to recognize the resonance of their beliefs, the ring of truth in their philosophy, and their dedication to their chosen purpose. Our inner guidance will lead us, so that we will be drawn to the right doorway for us--a doorway that only we can recognize by the way it makes us feel inside. It could be a picture of an angel or the gift of a crystal. We may meet someone special who shares their experiences with us in a way that we find intriguing. While visiting the home of an admired friend, we may notice a book or statue of a diety, and ask why they chose those tools. Or a word or phrase may catch our attention in a song, or a lecture. For some they may find their way by walking through the experience of illness before they begin the search for what will help them to truly heal, while others may seek physical improvement and stumble across yoga or meditation--only to find that it leads them to an unexpected place beyond the body. As we awaken to ourselves and to life, we will become more attuned to what is right for us. The universe speaks to all of us through infinite channels, but we each have our own frequency. Others may share what worked for them, but only we can decide what truly makes us feel inspired, awakened, connected, fully conscious, aware and alive. Whatever our path, it is perfect and is meant especially for us. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We in The Program know full well the futility of trying to overcome our addictions by will-power alone. At the same time, we do know that it takes great willingness to adopt The Program’s Twelve Steps as a way of life that can restore us to sanity. No matter how severe our addictions, we discover with relief that choices can still be made. For example, we can choose to admit that we’re personally powerless over chemical dependency; that dependence upon a Higher Power is a necessity, even if this be simply dependence upon our group in The Program. Have I chosen to try for a life of honesty and humility, of selfless service to my fellows and to God as I understand Him? Today I Pray God grant me the wisdom to know the difference between “will-power” (which has failed me before) and “willingness” to seek help for my dependency, through Him and through others who are also recovering. May I know, that there are choices open to me as there are to my fellow-sufferers in the foggiest stages of addiction. May I choose the kind of life God wants for me. Today I Will Remember Willingness, more than will-power, is the key to recovery. ****************************************** One More Day He who conceals his disease cannot expect to be cured. – Ethiopian Proverb We gain very little if we use our problems to hid from other people and the realities of life. Yet, at times, we may drift into this negative attitude even though a reclusive life is self-serving, not the least bit enjoyable, and unfair to the people who care about us. One way to survive is to develop the confidence we need to face others. Our problems should not be the first impression people have of us, but that is all we present if we are hiding our real selves from them. We have so much to offer — and so much to gain — when we set ourselves out on center stage and actively get on with living. I am capable of buoying myself up to face each new challenge by moving out of my hiding places. ************************************ Food For Thought Caring "Teach us to care and not to care. Teach us to sit still." We know that God cares for us and we try to give to those we love the care that He would have us give. But sometimes we become so caught up in our cares and concerns, whether they be for ourselves or for others that we forget to listen to our Higher Power. In order to work the spiritual part of the program, we need to spend time quietly by ourselves listening to the inner voice. Each day we need a period of time alone when we can get in touch with the center of our being. When we are tuned in to our Higher Power, we are able to give to those we care for. Our concerns fall into proper perspective, and we are freed from selfish preoccupation. Our actions become more effective and our hearts are more open to the needs of those we love. Teach us to care. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ UNCONDITIONAL LOVE ~ The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross I don't think I knew what unconditional love was before I came into the program. After all, I had always felt that my mother had only loved and accepted me conditionally, and that in order for me to receive approval and love from her, I had to be the best at everything I did. I had to be at the top of the class, win prizes for ballet and in general be a credit to her, so that she could bask in the reflected limelight. Perhaps that was only my perception. But as a result, I wrote a script for myself that, in order to be loved, accepted and lovable, I had to excel at everything. I became an overachiever academically, I had to be the best wife, best mother, best cook, in short, the best everything. No wonder I had to eat to cope with all this self-inflicted pressure. The unconditional love and acceptance I received when I first came into these program rooms was something I had never experienced before. "Let us love you until you can learn to love yourself," they said. This was something totally foreign to me. How could I be lovable when I was fat and bloated? How could they love me when I hated myself for all the secret eating that caused me to feel totally miserable? But love me they did, and that was the beginning of my healing. At one stage fairly early in my recovery, one of my daughters accused me of being so busy going to meetings and doing courses and learning to love myself, that I was too busy to love them. How wrong she was! It was only when I had learned enough self- love and approval of myself, exactly as I was, that I was able to love all my children fully and unconditionally. I am now able to love and accept all my children exactly as they are. None of them are perfect, as I am not, but they are special in their own right, and I love them for who they are and not for anything they do or don't do. One day at a time... I practice being warm and accepting of all those I love, as I accept and love myself for being who I am today - a child of God ~ Sharon ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote But he had found God - and in finding God had found himself. - Pg. 158 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote A critic is a person who goes onto the battlefield after the battle has been fought and shoots the survivors. Lighting One Candle Today I will light one candle. I know in my heart that the world has so many sincere and good people in it. People who want to contribute to the world, whose hearts are set in the right direction. I join with all of those good souls today in my deep wish to be part of a force that can heal the world. I say a quiet prayer for all who need it and I unite my soul energy with like minded people. I trust that my good wishes for this world will unite with the good wishes of others and form a silent force that will gather in power and attract more and more energy. My prayers will not go unanswered because they are the prayers of so many. There are so many good people from all walks of life, all corners of the world. We have something very profound in common, our love of life, our love of our world. I do a small thing with a full heart - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Don't allow anger, bitterness, and other character defects to affect your family, friends, and fellowship. It is all too easy to lash out at ones close to you who will 'understand' your hostility and give you room because you are in recovery. Treat them as you would a newcomer for they deserve as much. Harsh words break no bones but they do break hearts. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book The only person you can ever be better than is the person you were yesterday. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I need to do nothing more than pray and meditate. I trust that all the energies of the universe are working in my behalf. I can sleep comfortably in the knowledge that God is working when I am not. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Resentment, fear and anger are related; resentment is the feeling I have when I remember that I didn't get my way in the past. Fear is the feeling I have when I don't think I'll get my way in the future. And anger is the feeling I have when I don't get my way right now! - Doug D.
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"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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April 19
Daily Reflections BROTHERS IN OUR DEFECTS We recovered alcoholics are not so much brothers in virtue as we are brothers in our defects, and in our common strivings to overcome them. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 167 The identification that one alcoholic has with another is mysterious, spiritual--almost incomprehensible. But it is there. I "feel" it. Today I feel that I can help people and that they can help me. It is a new and exciting feeling for me to care for someone; to care what they are feeling, hoping for, praying for; to know their sadness, joy, horror, sorrow, grief; to want to share those feelings so that someone can have relief. I never knew how to do this--or how to try. I never even cared. The Fellowship of A.A., and God, are teaching me how to care about others. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Since I've been putting sobriety into my life, I've been taking out a lot of good things. I can describe it best as a kind of quiet satisfaction. I feel good. I feel right with the world, on the right side of the fence. As long as I put sobriety into my life, almost everything I take out is good. The satisfaction you get out of living a sober life is made up of a lot of little things. You have the ambition to do things you didn't feel like doing when you were drinking. Am I getting satisfaction out of living a sober life? Meditation For The Day It is a glorious way - the upward way. There are wonderful discoveries in the realm of the spirit. There are tender intimacies in the quiet times of communion with God. There is an amazing, almost incomprehensible understanding of the other person. On the upward way, you can have all the strength you need from that Higher Power. You cannot make too many demands on Him for strength. He gives you all the power you need, as long as you are moving along the upward way. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may see the beautiful horizons ahead on the upward way. I pray that I may keep going forward to the more abundant life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Trouble: Constructive or Destructive?, p. 110 "There was a time when we ignored trouble, hoping it would go away. Or, in fear and in depression, we ran from it, but found it was still with us. Often, full of unreason, bitterness, and blame, we fought back. These mistaken attitudes, powered by alcohol, guaranteed our destruction, unless they were altered. "Then came A.A. Here we learned that trouble was really a fact of life for everybody--a fact that had to be understood and dealt with. Surprisingly, we found that our troubles could, under God's grace, be converted into unimagined blessings. "Indeed, that was the essence of A.A. itself: trouble accepted, trouble squarely faced with calm courage, trouble lessened and often transcended. This was the A.A. story, and we became a part of it. Such demonstrations became our stock in trade for the next sufferer." Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Who pushes my buttons? Personal Relations AA old-timers would be mystified today to hear program members talk about people “pushing their buttons.” (They can't get your goat if they don't know where it is tied) This expression wasn't around when the early AA members pulled themselves out of the swamp and began their long journey to sobriety. But they had their buttons pushed aplenty. Dr. Bob, treating alcoholics at St. Thomas Hospital; heard snide comments from other physicians who resented giving bed space to drunks. Bill W. struggling to launch a worldwide movement, took most every alcoholic, then and now, gets some heavy kidding from the world of drinkers. What is the real problem in these instances? Are others pushing our buttons, or do we set ourselves up for this by being sensitive and vulnerable? Nobody could push our buttons if we didn't have buttons to push. We no longer have to worry about button-pushers if we accept them as they are, realizing that we don't need their approval and can't really be hurt by anything they do or say. Our serenity in the face of such problems may actually serve to attract people to AA. Nobody can push my buttons unless I let them. Today I'll be serene and clam no matter what others say and do. Thanks to the program, I'll not worry about certain individuals who try to get under my skin. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning In the process of defining myself, I have a tendency to set up rules and boundaries and then forget that rules are made to be broken, as are boundaries to be expanded and crossed. --Kathleen Casey Theisen Recovery has given us the freedom to address life honestly, with forethought and a certainty about the rightness of our actions. We need be mindful that what is right today may not be right tomorrow or thereafter. As we move through our experiences, we are changed, and then we look with a new perspective on old conditions. Our new perspective hones our value systems, and yesterday's rules and boundaries no longer fit today's situations. Our growth as women is an unending process. What we confront today with assurance, we prepared for yesterday. And tomorrow will be eased by our definition of today. The program has gifted us with clarity - clarity about ourselves, clarity regarding others, and clarity on how to continue our growth. My value system awaits finer definition, and every experience, today, presents me with an opportunity for that definition. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple We give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way. Sacred ritual chant. Good things keep happening to us. We are sober. We can think clearly. We can see progress on how we handle our problems. We have friends. We have love. We have hope. We are starting to feel joy. Our fears are getting smaller. We are starting to trust our new way of life. Our new life brings good things to us. It brings blessings every day. We are beginning to expect them. But we’re still surprised at how good life can be. What a difference from the days before we entered our program! Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thank-you for the blessings You keep on giving. And thanks for whatever today will bring. Action for the Day: One way to give thanks for my blessings is to share them with others. How can I share my recovery today? ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS He may be broke and homeless. If he is, you might try to help him about getting a job, or give him a little financial assistance. But you should not deprive your family or creditors of money they should have. Perhaps you will want to take the man into your home for a few days. But be sure you use discretion. Be certain he will be welcomed by your family, and that he is not trying to impose upon you for money, connections, or shelter. Permit that and you only harm him. You will be making it possible for him to be insincere. You may be aiding in his destruction rather than his recovery. pp. 96-97 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. The meeting consisted perhaps eight or nine alcoholics and seven or eight wives. It was different from the meetings now held. The big A.A. book had not been written, and there was no literature except various religious pamphlets. The program was carried on entirely by word of mouth. p. 262 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." "Although I asked Charlie for a little time to consider it, my own mind was about made up. Racing back to Brooklyn on the subway, I had a seeming flash of divine guidance. It was only a single sentence, but most convincing. In fact, it came right out of the Bible - a voice kept saying to me, `The laborer is worthy of his hire.' Arriving home, I found Lois cooking as usual, while three drunks looked hungrily on from the kitchen door. I drew her aside and told the glorious news. She looked interested, but not as excited as I thought she should be. p. 137 ************************************************** ********* Time is the greatest gift of all. --Cited in Even More of...The Best of BITS & PIECES Gifts are for giving. --Ian and Sylvia Tyson "Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out." --John Wooden "A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes." -Scottish Proverb My sponsor pointed out that now that I've been around the program for awhile there is no denial . . . there is only refusal. --Anonymous With accepting God in my life each day, Through the trials and triumphs, I rest in comfort knowing God is leading me to Him. --Tammy B. You'll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind. --Irish Proverb ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation FREEDOM "Freedom is the right to choose: the right to create for yourself the alternatives of choice. Without the possibility of choice and the exercise of choice a man is not a man but a member, an instrument, a thing ..." --Archibald MacLeish Spirituality involves the freedom to change; it requires the variety of choice in order to grow. My past addiction was a life of slavery because it removed from me creative choice and left me obsessing about drugs and alcohol. My life, conversation and thoughts revolved around the bottle, and I was oblivious to the true meaning of life. I could not "do better" in my life because I was addicted not only to drugs but to the destructive lifestyle that goes with them. My freedom to experience the spiritual power of God's creativity was lost to a mindless craving for drugs; in this sense, drug addiction is slavery. Today I am free to see God's world in people, places and things and I make a choice to live, love and laugh. I am growing in the awareness of Your multifaceted love for me. ************************************************** ********* Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord. Psalm 31:24 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Peace is one of our greatest needs because it provides for the strength we need in times of turmoil. Lord, I turn to You because You are my source of peace. Stand tall and smile often and it will be very difficult to be unhappy. Lord, may my disposition reflect the joy and peace that is Your Will. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Footwork "So many times, addicts have sought the rewards of hard work without the labor." Basic Text, p. 33 When we first came to NA, some of us wanted everything, and right away. We wanted the serenity, the cars, the happy relationships, the friends, the closeness with our sponsor—all the things other people had gotten after months and years of working the steps and living life on life's terms. We learned the hard way that serenity comes only from working the steps. A new car comes from showing up on the job every day and trying to "practice these principles in all our affairs;' including our employment. Healthy relationships come as a result of lots of hard work and a new willingness to communicate. Friendship with our sponsor comes as a result of reaching out during the good times as well as the bad. In Narcotics Anonymous, we have found the path to a better way of life. To reach our destination, however, we must do the footwork. Just for today: I want a better life. I will make an inventory of what I want, find out how to get it, talk with my sponsor about it, and do the necessary footwork. pg. 113 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Inch by inch, row by row Someone bless these seeds I sow. . . 'Til the rain comes tumblin' down. --David Mallett We plant a garden with faith, never knowing exactly what the harvest will bring. We attend to those aspects of gardening which we have some control over, planting good seeds in rich soil, in straight rows, the right distance apart. We weed and fertilize, and we tie up our tomato plants. We may pray for rain, but we never know if we'll get too much or too little. We can't control the wind or rabbits or bugs or the strongest strains of weeds. Yet most of us don't let these things keep us from planting. With this same sort of faith we can tend to ourselves. Though we don't know what each day will bring, we can plant the seeds in ourselves to meet most anything. We can rise each morning determined to give what we have. We can't plant the seeds for others, and we can't keep the storms from coming. The beauty is, we don't have to. What seeds of joy can I plant today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Some of us, observing that ideals are rarely achieved, proceed to the error of considering them worthless. Such an error is greatly harmful. True North cannot be reached either, since it is an abstraction, but it is of enormous importance, as all the world's travelers can attest. --Steve Allen How many of us, seeing others who failed to live fully by their ideals, cried, "Hypocrite!" Perhaps we even pointed to others' shortcomings to excuse our own. Now, in this program, we may be tempted to swing like a pendulum to the other extreme. We may hold to our values and principles so tightly that we are perfectionistic. The idea that True North cannot ever be reached is very useful. If we don't achieve True North, even though we establish it as our standard, we will generally be heading in the right direction. Although we never perfectly achieve our ideals, they remain our standards today for orienting our lives. I do accept standards for my life. I will not beat on myself for my imperfections. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. In the process of defining myself, I have a tendency to set up rules and boundaries and then forget that rules are made to be broken, as are boundaries to be expanded and crossed. --Kathleen Casey Theisen Recovery has given us the freedom to address life honestly, with forethought and a certainty about the rightness of our actions. We need be mindful that what is right today may not be right tomorrow or thereafter. As we move through our experiences, we are changed, and then we look with a new perspective on old conditions. Our new perspective hones our value systems, and yesterday's rules and boundaries no longer fit today's situations. Our growth as women is an unending process. What we confront today with assurance, we prepared for yesterday. And tomorrow will be eased by our definition of today. The program has gifted us with clarity - clarity about ourselves, clarity regarding others, and clarity on how to continue our growth. My value system awaits finer definition, and every experience, today, presents me with an opportunity for that definition. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Accepting Change The winds of change blow through our life, sometimes gently, sometimes like a tropical storm. Yes, we have resting places - time to adjust to another level of living, time to get our balance, time to enjoy the rewards. We have time to catch our breath. But change is inevitable, and desirable. Sometimes, when the winds of change begin to rustle, were not certain the change is for the better. We may call it stress or a temporary condition, certain well be restored to normal. Sometimes, we resist. We tuck our head down and buck the wind, hoping that things will quickly calm down, get back to the way things were. Is it possible were being prepared for a new normal? Change will sweep through our life, as needed, to take us where were going. We can trust that our Higher Power has a plan in mind, even when we don't know where the changes are leading. We can trust that the change-taking place is good. The wind will take us where we need to go. Today, help me, God, to let go of my resistance to change. Help me be open to the process. Help me believe that the place Ill be dropped off will be better than the place where I was picked up. Help me surrender, trust, and accept, even if I don't understand. Today I will let my Higher Power handle my worry so I can be free, I choose to be alive in this moment and not blocked by the conversations that go on over and over in my head. I will stop trying to figure everything out and will trust that I will get the right answers at the right time. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey To The Heart Release Old Emotions Our emotions and experiences sometimes lead us out of the present moment. Something happens– someone says something, we hear something– and a feeling crops up. Often, underneath it is an old feeling, a feeling from the past, an old chunk of energy that’s hidden in our soul, stored in our body. We aren’t off track when that happens. We’re right where we need to be: off center and out of the present moment. We can use moments like these to heal ourselves. Let yourself feel the feeling. Let yourself release the energy. Talk it out. Jog it out. Do what your heart leads you to do to release that bubble of emotion from your soul. Take as much time as you need– an hour, a day, a month. When it’s gone, you’ll find a surprise. You’ve advanced on your path. You’ve learned something new. A new cycle has begun. An issue arose that provided an opportunity for healing and growth, and that healing and growth turned into a pleasant and welcome surprise. Yes, sometimes experiences lead us out of the present moment. But if we stay present for ourselves, we’ll always come back. Changed. Lighter. Healed. And more ready to love. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Say what you don’t know One day, I was at a restaurant with friends. Now, my friends knew– particularly one of my friends– that I don’t eat pork. It’s not a religious thing. I just get sick from pork, even the tiniest bit will give me a headache, and sometimes nausea. So no matter how good that bacon looks, or how much my mouth waters about pork chops frying in the pan, I stay away from pig. So we’re at the restaurant. I’ve looked at the menu. And the waiter comes over and rattles off the specials of the evening to us. The torteliini sounded pretty tasty. I knew he had used another to describe the tortelini– prosciutto– but I skimmed over the word. The whole dish sounded interesting to me. We sit and have small talk. Then, the meal comes. The waiter puts my dish down in front of me. I pick up my fork and begin eating. “Do you know what prosciutto is?” my friend asked. “Yes,” I said lying. “Point to the prosciutto,” he said. I picked out a vegetable that kind of looked like celery and stabbed at it with my fork. “There,” I said, “that’s it.” “You’re kidding around now, aren’t you?” he said. “Point to the prosciutto!” I felt my face redden. “I don’t like being tested this way,” I said. “I know what prosciutto is.” “This,” he said, stabbing a piece of something on the plate, “is prosciutto. It’s ham. Italian ham. I just thought you’d like to know, being as you don’t eat pork.” “Oh,” I said, pushing my plate back. “I don’t think I’m that hungry after all.” I know this is an old lesson I’ve talked about before. I had to learn it again. Sometimes, we feel inadequate, but what we don’t know can hurt us. And besides, if we say we don’t know when that’s the honest answer, we just might learn something new. Today, if the true and correct answer is “I don’t know,” that’s the reply I’ll use. God, help me let go of my belief that I have to know something I don’t. ****************************************** In God’s Care To think you are separate from God is to remain separate from your own being. ~~D. M. Street God has taken up residence within us as our guide and in the world as our companion. Everywhere we cast our gaze, we will see other homes of God. We are never really separated from God even though we often feel disconnected. As children, many of us dreamed of God as separate and very far away in heaven. To accept the knowledge that God is everywhere and is within us is perhaps strange at first. But as our acceptance grows through working our program, we are comforted by the knowledge that we travel no path alone. We can harbor no thoughts or desires or prayers in secret. Our constant companion knows us fully, hears our every need, cares for us deeply, and will ensure our safety every step of the way. We only need to remember to extend our hand to God for surefootedness. Let me remember God is my guide and constant companion. ****************************************** Embracing the Disinherited The Elderly Population by Madisyn Taylor An important part of our culture, our elderly, are almost always undervalued and underutilized - for they have much to offer. In tribal cultures, the elderly play an important role. They are the keepers of the tribe’s memories and the holders of wisdom. As such, the elderly are honored and respected members of tribes. In many modern cultures, however, this is often not the case. Many elderly people say that they feel ignored, left out, and disrespected. This is a sad commentary on modernization, but it doesn’t have to be this way. We can change this situation by taking the time to examine our attitudes about the elderly and taking action. Modern societies tend to be obsessed with the ideas of newness, youth, and progress. Scientific studies tell us how to do everything – from the way we should raise our kids to what we need to eat for breakfast. As a result, the wisdom that is passed down from older generations is often disregarded. Of course, grandparents and retired persons have more than information to offer the world. Their maturity and experience allows for a larger perspective of life, and we can learn a lot from talking to elderly people. It’s a shame that society doesn’t do more to allow our older population to continue to feel productive for the rest of their lives, but you can help to make change. Perhaps you could help facilitate a mentorship program that would allow children to be tutored by the elderly in retirement homes. The elderly make wonderful storytellers, and creating programs where they could share their real life experiences with others is another way to educate and inspire other genera! tions. Take stock of your relationships with the elderly population. Maybe you don’t really listen to them because you hold the belief that their time has passed and they are too old to understand what you are going through. You may even realize that you don’t have any relationships with older people. Try to understand why and how our cultural perception of the elderly influences the way you perceive them. Look around you and reach out to someone who is elderly – even if you are just saying hello and making small talk. Resolve to be more aware of the elderly. They are our mentors, wise folk, and the pioneers that came before us and paved the way for our future. ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day As we continue to make thees vital choices and so move toward these high aspirations, our sanity returns and the compulsion of our former addictions vanishes. We learn, in the words of Plutarch, that, “A pleasant and happy life does not come from external things. Man draws from within himself, as from a sprig, pleasure and joy.” Am I learning to “travel first class” inside? Today I Pray The grace of God has showed me how to be happy again. May the wisdom of God teach me that the source of that happiness is within me, i my new values,k my new sense of self-worth, my new and open sense of self-worth, my new and open communication with my Higher Power. Today I Will Remember Happiness comes from within. ****************************************** One More Day The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next. – Mignon McLaughlin Morning sounds and sights filter in through the bedroom window as we lie awake wondering, once again, if we can get started for the day. Oh, we think to ourselves, can I make these tired and weary bones and those sore and aching muscles do what I command them to do one more time? We need strength to begin, to face each day, to start working our joints so we can face another day. A silent prayer may rush from our lips as we gather all our resources. We are extraordinarily strong poeple. Having a health problem makes us aware of a source of strength previously left untapped. We open ourselves to that strength — within ourselves, our doctors, our Higher Power. We rise and get on with our lives. I have two gifts right now — this day and the strength to meet the challenges and demands. ************************************ Food For Thought Perseverance We all go through periods when we seem to be standing still or slipping backwards. It is often difficult to stay with our food plan when weight loss slows or stops. We may become bored with the program if our understanding of it is superficial. There are many times when things do not go the way we would like, and we may be tempted to give up. Let's remember where we began and how miserable we were before we found OA. If there are times when abstinence does not seem so great, let's remember how much worse the alternative is. We have been down in the depths of despair before, and we do not choose to go back there. One day at a time, we can keep moving forward. Even when we see no signs of progress, we can know that our Higher Power is now in charge of our recovery and that His purposes never fail. Lord, give us strength to persevere. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ HAPPINESS ~ The greatest happiness you can have is knowing that you do not necessarily require happiness. William Saroyan How many times during my life have I said that all I want is "just to be happy." We are told early on that our legacy is "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Did you notice that our forefathers used the word "pursuit?" How very wise they were. Happiness is not automatic. Life is difficult and it's supposed to be that way. If we expect happiness and we expect life to be easy, at some point in time we are going to be very disappointed. I thought eating food made me happy and it did ... for a short time. There were other temporary compulsions in my life that made me think I was happy ~ but again for only a short time. As I began to work the Steps, I began to desire something other than happiness. I found myself yearning for serenity ... and I found it. The way I found it was by not expecting the world and everyone in it to make me happy. I learned that life was more of an adventure than a bowl of cherries. I learned that the more I expected from people, places and things, the more disappointed I was ... and the more disappointed I became, the less happy I was. One Day at a Time . . . I will not require happiness. But when I least expect it .... happiness will find me. ~ Mari ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven't the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Remember it was agreed at the beginning WE WOULD GO TO ANY LENGTHS FOR VICTORY OVER ALCOHOL.' - Pg. 76 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Keeping life simple right now is imperative. You need to learn how not to use mind-affecting chemicals. You do this by following instructions. That's all. Your family problems, job instability, or other concerns must take a back seat until you stabilize yourself. Let me realize that my thinking is not balanced enough now to solve past problems. May I stow away my concerns until my Higher Power shows me the way. Living Truly Today I will live the life I wish to have. If I want not be manipulative or deceitful in my relationships, I will be an honest person. If I want goodness and decency surrounding me, I will be good and decent. If I want to feel love coming towards me, I will love others. Today I won't ask life to be something I'm not willing to be. Today, I accept that what I put out, comes back to me. I live the life I want to have - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Although romance and relationships are an important aspect of balance in our lives--it is never the solution to drinking and other drug taking. It is sometimes easier to focus on passion, rather than trudge through the steps! I practice these principles in all my affairs, (pun intended). "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book We believe in 'Living' amends not 'I'm sorry' amends. Time for Joy - Book - Quote If negative feelings are triggered in me today, I will not act on my first impulse or desire. I will stop and get in touch with my breathing and my connections with the universe. I will take time to remember the other person's point of view. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote If you hate the whole human race yet demand it's approval at the same time...Welcome to Alcoholics Anonymous. - Charlie C.
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"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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April 20
Daily Reflections SELF-EXAMINATION . . . we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 86 When said sincerely, this prayer teaches me to be truly unselfish and humble, for even in doing good deeds I often used to seek approval and glory for myself. By examining my motives in all that I do, I can be of service to God and others, helping them do what they want to do. When I put God in charge of my thinking, much needless worry is eliminated and I believe He guides me throughout the day. When I eliminate thoughts of self-pity, dishonesty and self-centeredness as soon as they enter my mind, I find peace with God, my neighbor and myself. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The satisfaction you get out of living a sober life is, made up of a lot of little things, but they add up to a satisfactory and happy life. You take out of life what you put into it. So I'd say to people coming into A.A.: "Don't worry about what life will be like without liquor. just hang in there and a lot of good things will happen to you. And you'll have that feeling of quiet satisfaction and peace and serenity and gratitude for the grace of God." Is my life becoming really worth living? Meditation For The Day There are two paths, one up and one down. We have been given free will to choose either path. We are captains of our souls to this extent only. We can choose the good or the bad. Once we have chosen the wrong path, we go down and down, eventually to death. But if we choose the right path, we go up and UP, until we come to the resurrection day. On the wrong path, we have no power for good because we do not choose to ask for it. But on the right path, we are on the side of good and we have all the power of God's spirit behind us. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be in the stream of goodness. I pray that I may be on the right side, on the side of all good in the universe. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Surveying the Past, p. 111 We should make an accurate and really exhaustive survey of our past life as it affected other people. In many instances we shall find that, though the harm done others has not been great, we have nevertheless done ourselves considerable emotional injury. Then, too, damaging emotional conflicts persist below the level of consciousness, very deep, sometimes quite forgotten. Therefore, we should try hard to recall and review those past events which originally induced these conflicts and which continue to give our emotions violent twists, thus discoloring our personalities and altering our lives for the worse. << << << >> >> >> "We reacted more strongly to frustrations than normal people. By reliving these episodes and discussing them in strict confidence with somebody else, we can reduce their size and therefore potency in the unconsciousness." 1. 12 & 12, pp. 79-80 2. Letter, 1957 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Avoiding emotional whirlpools Serenity If we were rattling down a rough river, we would try to steer away from whirlpools and rocky rapids. Living each day requires the same alertness. We're asking for trouble if we drift into malicious discussions about other people… even those who seem to deserve it. We're also sliding into rocky rapids if we get into supercharged arguments about political and religious issues. How do we avoid touchy situations that can lead to violent arguments or terrible breakdowns in personal relationships? We can begin by recognizing that we're not on this earth to judge, manipulate, or control other people. We'll do well today to keep our own performance up to a good standard. We can also respond correctly to people who seem hopelessly wrong. Borrowing an idea from one Twelve Step program, we can detach from such people with love, even if circumstances require continuing contact with them. At whatever cost, we must avoid emotional whirlpools and rocky rapids in life. Looking ahead at the things might happen today. I'll adjust my thinking for situations that could be troublesome or destructive. I will try especially hard to avoid trouble with my fellow workers. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple A great obstacle to happiness is to expect too much happiness.---Fontenelle Our disease is sometimes call the disease of “always wanting more.” We push ourselves to get as much pleasure as we could. If one was good , two was better. We didn’t see that what we were lacking was faith. At times in recovery, we still crave “more.” We must pay attention to these cravings. When we have a craving, maybe we’re scared, and our Higher Power is trying to tell us that, if we have faith, we’ll be taken care of. Perhaps our Higher Power just has a message of love for us. All we need to do is listen. It may be that this is only “more” we really need. Prayer for the Day: I pray to see my as spiritual needs. I pray to turn to my Higher Power instead of to alcohol or other drugs. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll think about how much recovery has given me. I will share this with a friend and with my Higher Power. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning One has to grow up with good talk in order to form the habit of it. --Helen Hayes Our habits, whatever they may be, were greatly influenced, if not wholly formed, during childhood. We learned our behavior through imitation, imitation of our parents, our siblings, our peer group. But we need not be stuck in habits that are unhealthy. The choice to create new patterns of behavior is ours to make--every moment, every hour, every day. However, parting with the old pattern in order to make way for the new takes prayer, commitment, determination. All of us who share these Steps have broken away from old patterns. We have chosen to leave liquor and pills alone. We may have chosen to leave unhealthy relationships. And we are daily choosing to move beyond our shortcomings. But not every day is a successful one. Our shortcomings have become ingrained. Years of pouting, or lying, or feeling fearful, or overeating, or procrastinating beckon to us; the habit invites itself. We can find strength from the program and one another to let go of the behavior that stands in the way of today's happiness. And we can find in one another a better, healthier behavior to imitate. The program is helping me to know there is a better way, every day, to move ahead. I am growing up again amidst the good habits of others, and myself. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Never avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you are doing the right thing if you assume them. Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn’t enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights’ sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected. A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction. Another time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance. Occasionally you will have to meet such conditions. p. 97 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. The meeting lasted an hour and closed with the Lord's Prayer. After it was closed, we all retired to the kitchen and had coffee and doughnuts and more discussion until the small hours of the morning. p. 262 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." "It was meeting night. Although none of the alcoholics we boarded seemed to get sober, some others had. With their wives they crowded into our downstairs parlor. At once I burst into the story of my opportunity. Never shall I forget their impassive faces, and the steady gaze they focused upon me. With waning enthusiasm, my tale trailed off to the end. There was a long silence. p. 137 ************************************************** ********* You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. --Les Brown You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old. --George Burns Make your life's goal to learn and become a better person. --Anonymous How can we possibly describe feeling the Presence of God? It is the difference between being a child left alone in an empty house at night and a child who knows that her mother is in the next room. Even though she can't see or hear her mother, she feels comforted by her warm, loving, protective presence. And while a human parent can't always be with us, our spiritual parent will never abandon us. --Mary Manin Morrissey "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." --Paul Boese The heart has eyes that the brain knows nothing of. --American Proverb ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation CHANGE "There is nothing permanent except change." --Heraclitus Today I know that I need to change. I accept that my behavior and attitude was negative and destructive. Today I make a choice to work on my addiction. I was changing before I embraced a spiritual program but the change was for the worse. Each day I grew more dependent, more isolated, more angry and depressed. I felt I was a hopeless case! Today I am working on my anger and loneliness. I talk about those things that cause me pain and distress. I express my fears and resentments - and it is getting better. God created this world in perpetual change and I believe that He is to be discovered in the change. I am evolving into Truth with my small steps towards recovery. The steps I take towards recovery are my "yes" to God. In the daily changes I discover the stability of God. ************************************************** ********* "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life...." Psalm 23:6 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration We are not given peace of mind. We must trust in God and He will be our peace of mind. Lord, You are within my heart and therefore I need look no farther to find my peace. There is a time for everything. Take time to pray, to sing, to laugh, to work and to touch the hearts of others. Lord, help me be aware that today will never return so that I will not misuse my time or waste it unwisely. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Detachment "Addiction is a family disease, but we could only change ourselves." IP No. 13, "Youth and Recovery" Many of us come from severely damaged families. At times, the insanity that reigns among our relatives feels overwhelming. Sometimes we feel like packing our bags and moving far, far away. We pray that our family members will join us in recovery but, to our great sadness, this does not always happen. Sometimes, despite our best efforts to carry the message, we find that we cannot help those we hold most dear. Our group experience has taught us that, frequently, we are too close to our relatives to help them. We learn that it is better to leave them in our Higher Power's care. We have found that when we stop trying to settle the problems of family members, we give them the room they need to work things out in their own lives. By reminding them that we are not able to solve their problems for them, we give ourselves the freedom to live our own lives. We have faith that God will help our relatives. Often, the best thing we can give our loved ones is the example of our own ongoing recovery. For the sake of our family's sanity and our own, we must let our relatives find their own ways to recover Just for today: I will seek to work my own program and leave my family in the care of a Higher Power. pg. 114 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Hurried and worried until we're buried And there's no curtain call, Life's a very funny proposition, after all. --George M. Cohan Often, when we involve ourselves in a whirlwind of activities, plans, and expectations, we push ourselves so hard that we don't derive any satisfaction from success. We need to face our limitations. We can't do everything we want. Even when we can do a great deal, if we overextend ourselves, take on too much, we will not enjoy ourselves, and there is no reason not to enjoy our work. Our activities are part of what we are. If we choose to live in a frantic hurry, worrying about the next moment instead of this one, we'll miss life entirely. Part of self-knowledge is learning to pace ourselves to our own speed, learning to set goals we can attain for each day. When we do this, we can say, "Now that I've completed this, I don't have to do one more thing to feel worthwhile." Am I trying to do too much too fast? You are reading from the book Touchstones. I wasn't exactly brought up in one of those Norman Rockwell paintings you used to see on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post. --Reggie Jackson We have many myths about other people's lives. When we compare ourselves to these stories, we come up short. We have the TV families of Father Knows Best or The Waltons in our minds. We may have stories our father told about his moment of glory and how he met his challenges. Any of these images selects part of the truth and highlights it, creating a myth that might be worthwhile if we don't take it too literally. Living real life never feels as serene as our fantasies. A myth lifts us up, carries us away to other possibilities, but we should always take it with a grain of salt. A father's recollections or a Norman Rockwell painting romanticizes a piece of reality by omitting the drudgery and confusion of life. Myths are meant as inspirations, not as measurements of our lives. The difficulties and confusion I feel may just be part of real life. Serenity comes when I accept the mixture that real life is. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. One has to grow up with good talk in order to form the habit of it. --Helen Hayes Our habits, whatever they may be, were greatly influenced, if not wholly formed, during childhood. We learned our behavior through imitation, imitation of our parents, our siblings, our peer group. But we need not be stuck in habits that are unhealthy. The choice to create new patterns of behavior is ours to make--every moment, every hour, every day. However, parting with the old pattern in order to make way for the new takes prayer, commitment, determination. All of us who share these Steps have broken away from old patterns. We have chosen to leave liquor and pills alone. We may have chosen to leave unhealthy relationships. And we are daily choosing to move beyond our shortcomings. But not every day is a successful one. Our shortcomings have become ingrained. Years of pouting, or lying, or feeling fearful, or overeating, or procrastinating beckon to us; the habit invites itself. We can find strength from the program and one another to let go of the behavior that stands in the way of today's happiness. And we can find in one another a better, healthier behavior to imitate. The program is helping me to know there is a better way, every day, to move ahead. I am growing up again amidst the good habits of others, and myself. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Deadlines I don't know whether I want in or out of this relationship. I've been struggling with it for months now. Its not appropriate to let it hang indefinitely. I will give myself two months to make a decision. --Anonymous I've had this unsolved problem hanging over my head for six months now. Im confused. Im not certain what to do. Im going to give myself one month to come up with a solution. --Anonymous Sometimes, it helps to set a deadline. This can be true when we face unsolved problems, are struggling with a tough decision, have been sitting on the fence for a while, or have been floundering in confusion about a particular issue for a time. That does not mean a deadline is written in stone. It means that we are establishing a time frame to help ourselves not feel so helpless and to help bring a solution into focus. Setting deadlines can free our energy to set the problem or issue aside, to let go, and allow the Universe, our Higher Power, and ourselves to begin to move toward a solution. We don't always need to tell people we've got a deadline. Sometimes, its better to be silent, or else they may feel we are trying to control them and may rebel against our deadline. Sometimes, it is appropriate to share our deadlines with others. Deadlines are primarily a tool to help ourselves. They need to be reasonable and appropriate to each individual situation. Used properly, deadlines can be a beneficial tool to help us get through difficult problems and situations without feeling trapped and helpless. They can help us let go of worrying and obsessing, so we can focus our energies in more constructive directions. Setting a deadline can help move us out of that uncomfortable spot of feeling victimized by a person or a problem we cant solve. Deadlines can help us detach and move forward. Today, I will consider whether a deadline might be helpful in some areas in my life. I claim Divine Wisdom and Guidance in setting appropriate deadlines for any problems or relationship issues that may be lingering. I can handle anything that comes up today... even if it is only for a moment at a time. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey To The Heart Loving Yourself Will Make It Better Are you feeling powerless? Have circumstances taken a turn you don’t like? Do you feel there’s nothing you can do to make today better? One power that’s always available to you is the power to love yourself. Sometimes we feel powerless. We have circumstances in our lives we simply cannot change, no matter what we do to create something different, to move the situation along. We can’t get another person to behave differently. We can’t seem to change something at work. We can’t do much about our money situation, at least not at the moment. Nothing in life seems to be going our way. It’s not that we’re doing anything wrong. We aren’t off our path or neglecting a particular lesson. The energy of that particular time in our lives is frustrating. There is no action we can take to change our circumstances. All we can do is surrender to the circumstances, accept what’s happening, and stay in the moment. During those times, there is one action we can take that will help. We can love ourselves. When we can’t do anything about the world around us, when we can’t even seem to do much about ourselves, we can always love ourselves. When all our other powers seem stripped away, we can practice the power of self-love. It’s one power no one can take away. Self-love will always make things better. And perhaps when a difficult time is past, you’ll look back and say, That’s what I was really learning all along– the ever present, healing power of learning to love myself. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Flip a coin Flip a coin. …This is a secret technique of many prominent executives. Because sometimes it doesn’t matter what decision you make, as long as you make one. Then you just stick to it, having confidence in your having brought about the outcome. –Jay Carter Sometimes, we are truly ambivalent. We don’t know what we want. The scales are balanced, fifty-fifty. . Flip a coin. If you don’t like the decision the coin just made for you, at least you’ll know you know what you want. God, help me discover who I am and what I really want. ****************************************** In God’s Care It is not up to you to change your brother, but merely to accept him as he is. ~~A Course in Miracles We all feel qualified to correct another. We may not do this aloud, but we oftentimes do a great job of it under our breath or in our mind. We are fortunate if we learn that correcting others is not our job. It is seldom helpful to them or to us. Correction is best left to God, who knows all the circumstamces. If we truly need to avoid a certain person, God will direct us. If not, then it’s spiritually good for us to accept that person’s defects – perceived or real – in all their glory. If we insist on seeing error or guilt, we’ll be in the wrong frame of mind to accept what a blessing he or she is to us. Every offensive thing someone does is a call for help. If we answer it with help instead of condemnation or correction, both of us are blessed. I would rather be blessed than be right. ****************************************** Appreciating What Is Enjoying Your Age In each stage of life, there are wonderful experiences one can savor and valuable insights one can absorb. Every new decade and, in fact, every new year brings with it wisdom, transformation, and growth, as well as ends and beginnings. Many people, however, believe that there is one age that eclipses the others. They expend energy trying to reach it and, once it has passed, trying to retain it. But wishing to be younger or older is a denial of the joys that have been and the joys yet to be, as well as the beauty of your life in the present. Holding on to one age can make it difficult to appreciate each new milestone you reach. Taking pleasure in the delights of your age, whether you are in your 20s, 40s, 60s, or 80s, can help you see the magnificence and usefulness of the complex seasons of your life. Each new year gifted to us by the universe is replete with exciting and unfamiliar experiences. In our 20s, we can embrace the energy of youth and the learning process, knowing it’s okay to not have all the answers. As we move through our third decade, we grow more self-assured as the confusion of our young adulthood melts away. We can honor these years by putting aside our fears of aging and concentrating instead on solidifying our values and enjoying our growing emotional maturity. In our 40s, we become conscious of the wisdom we have attained through life experience and are blessed with the ability to put it to good use. We are not afraid to explore unfamiliar territory or to change. In our 50s, we tend to have successfully navigated our midlife reevaluations and have prioritized our lives. In the decades beyond, we discover a greater sense of freedom than we have ever known and can truly enjoy the memory of all we’ve seen and done. Try to enjoy the age you are at now, for each age presents its own unique wisdom to savor. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day “If a person continues to see only giants.” wrote Anais Nim, “it means he is still looking at the world through the eyes of a child.” During this 24-hour period. I won’t allow myself to be burdened by thoughts of giants and monsters — of things that are past. I won’t concern myself about tomorrow until it becomes my today. The better I use today, the more likely it is that tomorrow will be bright. Have I extended the hand of caring to another person today? Today I Pray God may I please grow up. May I no longer see monsters and giants on my walls, those projections of a child’s imagination. May I bury my hobgoblins and realize that those epic dream-monsters are distortions of my present fears. May they vanish with my fearfulness, in the daylight of my new serenity. Today I Will Remember I will put away childish fears. ****************************************** One More Day My mind to me a kingdom is, Such present joys therein I find That it excels all other bliss That earth affords or groups by kind. – Sir Edward Dyer Within the private confines of our thoughts, we can build castles or dream of solving all the problems of the world. At times, we may still daydream like children who envision themselves as heroes, builders, or saviors. We may still unconsciously look for drama and excitement. Maturity give us something that our youthful selves would never have understood — compromise. We don’t have to see compromise as surrender. For us, it can mean action. When faced with the reality of dreams that can’t be achieved, we can compromise by building new dreams that not only are as important as our original one, but also offer success. My dreams can still direct the course of my life. ************************************ Food For Thought Social Situations Many of us find it especially difficult to follow our food plan when we go to parties and eat with friends. We may feel deprived if we do not eat and drink what everyone else is eating and drinking. Sometimes we maintain our abstinence at the party and then go home and break it for some strange kind of emotional compensation. The longer we live the OA program, the easier it becomes to deal with social situations. We begin to realize that the company is more important than the food and drink, and we discover that we can enjoy being with our friends regardless of what we are or are not consuming. We also become convinced that only by abstaining do we maintain our health and sanity, and we value these more than whatever refreshments are being served. Because we are stronger now than we were before, we are less affected by the social pressure to do what everyone else is doing. We know who we are and how we can best live our own lives. May I enjoy my friends more than food. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ THE PRESENT MOMENT ~ How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now, and there will never be a time when it is not now. Gerald Jampolsky During my many years of life as an compulsive eater, I thought happiness was something that was the privilege of other people. I could not imagine that happiness would be a part of my life. All I really wanted was to lose weight. My issues with food and weight colored everything else. I always thought the biggest weight I carried was physical in nature. When I accepted the fact that I have a disease, and the weight I carried was physical, emotional and spiritual, my life began to change immeasurably. As I took the Steps to recovery, I began to experience healing on all three levels. I began to see life differently, and to live life in a whole new way. Before recovery, I could not see the precious moment of the present. My eyes were focused on regret of the past, and fear of the future. I totally missed the complete joy of each present moment. Recovery has helped me to clear up weight I carried from my past, and to eliminate my fear of the future; replacing fear with faith. As I live in recovery, I can choose to be present in each moment, and enjoy the wonder and delight that is the gift of life. One Day at a Time . . . I choose to live in the present moment ... and to embrace the happiness found there. ~ Cate ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? We have been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our Creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path. We have admitted certain defects; we have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is; we have put our finger on the weak items in our personalinventory. Now these are about to be cast out. This requires action on our part, which, when completed, will mean that we have admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our defects. This brings us to the Fifth Step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter. - Pg. 72 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote You may be falling apart, you may be 'being strong,' or you may be falling apart and trying very hard to 'be strong.' These are both extremes that you will fluctuate between. No matter what you are doing, someone will be telling you that you 'should' respond differently. So respond how you like. May I respond the way I respond and be proud of it! Getting Even Today I will push myself through to letting go of some recent insult, knowing that if I don't I bind myself to that energy. Revenge only keeps me stuck at the place of wrong doing. Better to let go the hurt or insult than the act of kindness. If I want to continue to grow my blessings in life, I will look up not down. Today I will look toward someone who has been good to me and I will think of a way to repay their kindness, knowing that when I do that, my own life feels better, too. I connect myself to the energy of goodness. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Although a bit of compassion might be nice now and again, you sure don't need anyone's pity! Compassion is laced with understanding while pity reflects a diminished picture of yourself. With gut level honesty, you will evoke compassion; by denying, hiding, and blaming, you are likely to evoke pity from others. If I am genuine about my recovery with others, they will be genuine in their compassion with me. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book A winner makes commitments; a loser makes promises. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I can handle anything that comes up today even if it is only for a moment at a time. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Gratitude is a verb. - Unknown origin.
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AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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April 21
Daily Reflections CULTIVATING FAITH "I don't think we can do anything very well in this world unless we practice it. And I don't believe we do A.A. too well unless we practice it. . . . We should practice . . . acquiring the spirit of service. We should attempt to acquire some faith, which isn't easily done, especially for the person who has always been very materialistic, following the standards of society today. But I think faith can be acquired; it can be acquired slowly; it has to be cultivated. That was not easy for me, and I assume that it is difficult for everyone else . . . . " DR. BOB AND THE GOOD OLDTIMERS, pp. 307-08 Fear is often the force that prevents me from acquiring and cultivating the power of faith. Fear blocks my appreciation of beauty, tolerance, forgiveness, service, and serenity. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day After we've been in A.A. for a while, we find out that if we're going to stay sober, we have to be humble people. The men and women in A.A. who have achieved sobriety are all humble people. When I stop to think that but for the grace of God I might be drunk right now, I can't help feeling humble. Gratitude to God for His grace makes me humble. When I think of the kind of person I was not so long ago, when I think of the person I left behind me, I have nothing to be proud of. Am I grateful and humble? Meditation For The Day I must arise from the death of sin and selfishness and put on a new life of integrity. All the old sins and temptations must be laid in the grave and a new existence rise from the ashes. Yesterday is gone. All my sins are forgiven if I am honestly trying to do God's will today. Today is here, the time of resurrection and renewal. I must start now, today, to build a new life of complete faith and trust in God and a determination to do His will in all things. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may share in making the world a better place to live in. I pray that I may do what I can to bring goodness a little nearer to the earth. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Complete Security?, p. 112 Upon entering A.A., the spectacle of years of waste threw us into panic. Financial importance was no longer our principal aim; we now clamored for material security. Even when we were re-established in our business, terrible fears often continued to haunt us. This made us misers and penny-pinchers all over again. Complete financial security we must have--or else. We forgot that most alcoholics in A.A. have an earning power considerably above average; we forgot the immense good will of our brother A.A.'s who were only too eager to help us to better jobs when we deserved them; we forgot the actual or potential financial insecurity of every human being in the world. And, worst of all, we forgot God. In money matters we had faith only in ourselves, and not too much of that. 12 & 12, pp. 120-121 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places The Good that I do____ Action Why do we hold back when we're offered the opportunity to help others or to do something unusually kind? Why is it that many people are reluctant to give of themselves unless rewarded with recognition or praise? We may hold back because we do not understand that any good action always brings its own reward. Despite Shakespeare's timeless saying, the good we do is not "interred with our bones"… it does survive, now and in the future. We've learned in Twelve Step programs that it's not really satisfying to work only for recognition and praise. There also has to be a confident feeling that our efforts are contributing to a large good with a worthwhile purpose. That's what makes AA so special to people who are completely devoted to it… we know that anything done for AA makes the world a better place. We should also know that those who can help others are fortunate, well-favored people. Others may want to help, but lack the tools. We have the tools to give the help that changes lives---- and the world. The good that I do today is a treasure I'll always possess. I need not fear the act of letting my higher self take over and guide me. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple One of the most important parts of the AA program is to give our drinking problem to God honestly and fully… Twenty-Four Hour a Day, March 1 We don’t handle our drinking or other drug problem. We don’t take care of this problem by ourselves. We turn our problem over to God as we understand Him. We need to be very clear about this. We can’t handle our drinking or other drug problem! Our Higher Power keeps us sober through the Steps and the fellowship of the program. Our job is to hand over our problem to our Higher Power. We do this daily by acting like sober people. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I know I can’t handle drinking and using other drugs. I turn my problem over to you. Please take from me the urge to drink or use. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll remember why I can’t handle or take care of my problem with alcohol or other drugs. And I’ll remember why my Higher Power can. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of looking forward. --Margaret Fairless Barber When we contemplate last month, last year, the period of time just before we came into this Twelve Step program, we can see many changes, good changes, have come our way. But we take the changes for granted sometimes. Or maybe we fail to reflect on them at all. We get caught up in the turmoil of the present, believing it will last forever, forgetting that yesterday's turmoil taught us much that we needed to know. The past, for most of us, was rife with pain. But now we have hope. We have gained on life. We may be back in the good graces of our family. Perhaps we have patched up some failed relationships. A career has beckoned to us. Good experiences have come to pass. But we aren't free of difficulties. They need not get us down again. Hindsight assures us that this, too, will pass. It also guarantees that we will move forward, just as we have again and again, if we have but faith. I will take this moment to look back at last year or the last binge. I can rest assured that I am moving forward. I will continue to do so. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS We seldom allow an alcoholic to live in our homes for long at a time. It is not good for him, and it sometimes creates serious complications in a family. p. 97 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. I was terribly impressed by this meeting and the quality of happiness these men displayed, despite their lack of material means. In this small group, during the Depression, there was no one who was not hard up. p. 262 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." "Almost timidly, one of my friends began to speak. `We know how hard up you are, Bill. It bothers us a lot. We've often wondered what we might do about it. But I think I speak for everyone here when I say that what you now propose bothers us an awful lot more.' The speaker's voice grew more confident. `Don't you realize,' he went on, `that you can never become a professional? As generous as Charlie has been to us, don't you see that we can't tie this thing up with his hospital or any other? You tell us that Charlie's proposal is ethical. Sure, it's ethical, but what we've got won't run on ethics only; it has to be better. Sure, Charlie's idea is good, but it isn't good enough. This is a matter of life and death, Bill, and nothing but the very best will do!' Challengingly, my friends looked at me as their spokesman continued. `Bill, haven't you often said right here in this meeting that sometimes the good is the enemy of the best? Well, this is a plain case of it. You can't do this thing to us!' pp. 137-138 ************************************************** ********* The only thing you get from sitting on the pity pot is a ring around your butt and nobody to show it to! --Anonymous "It's what you learn after you know it all that counts." --John Wooden "Simmering resentment saps energy." --Nido Qubein "Pain is an experience. Suffering is a choice." --Jeff Alexander Open to a larger, more abundant source. That source is God. And God's supply is the universe. When we look to God and the universe, we open ourselves to a never-ending supply of what we need--love, energy, teaching, support, information, guidance, and nurturing. Certain people and places may help us along the way, but God is our source for love. --Melody Beattie ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation VALUES "A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life." --Charles Darwin Life is not to be wasted. Time is not to be wasted. Friends, relationships, opportunities are not to be wasted. Why? Because as vulnerable human beings we do not have the ultimate control of our lives and none of us know when our lives will end, when we shall die, when time and opportunity will be no more! Life is too precious to waste. During my years as an addict I did not value my life. I did not value time. I did not value friends and relationships. Nothing was valued except the alcohol! Life was meaningless. God was absent and I felt nothing - just a "dullness" at the center of my being. Today this is not the case. Through my pain I have found the value of life and I have discovered a God as I understand Him. God, let me value what I have while I have it. ************************************************** ********* "Without faith it is impossible to please God because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists, and that he rewards those who earnestly seek Him." Hebrews 11:6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Don't allow the difficult people around you to get you down. Lord, may I not make other people's problems my own and take on things that I can't do anything about anyway. There is light behind every shadow. Lord, You are the light of the world. May I never forget to turn to You when my life fills with shadows. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Fear "We have found that we had no choice except to completely change our old ways of thinking or go back to using." Basic Text, p. 21 Many of us find that our old ways of thinking were dominated by fear. We were afraid that we wouldn't be able to get our drugs or that there wouldn't be enough. We feared discovery, arrest, and incarceration. Further down the list were fears of financial problems, homelessness, overdose, and illness. And our fear controlled our actions. The early days of recovery weren't a great deal different for many of us; then, too, fear dominated our thinking. "What if staying clean hurts too much?" we asked ourselves. "What if I can't make it? What if the people in NA don't like me? What if NA doesn't work?" The fear behind these thoughts can still control our behavior, keeping us from taking the risks necessary to stay clean and grow. It may seem easier to resign ourselves to certain failure, giving up before we start, than to risk everything on a slim hope. But that kind of thinking leads only to relapse. To stay clean, we must find the willingness to change our old ways of thinking. What has worked for other addicts can work for us—but we must be willing to try it. We must trade in our old cynical doubts for new affirmations of hope. When we do, we'll find it's worth the risk. Just for today: I pray for the willingness to change my old ways of thinking, and for the ability to overcome my fears. pg. 115 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. In grief, healing helps us make peace with the meaning of death, which cannot be understood except as an unknown part of life. --Alla Bozarth-Campbell It is a sad occasion when we must say goodbye to a loved one or pet who has died. But grief is the only way we can come to understand our losses, and sharing grief helps us experience it more fully. Perhaps we wish to grieve for something else we've lost, like fading youth, a job, a possession, or a habit we had come to enjoy. It's natural to feel grief over things like this, too. We can share stories and good memories with other grievers, and give free reign to our tears. Sometimes it seems the more we talk, the sadder we feel about our losses, but when we share these feelings with others, we turn our losses into gain. We heal ourselves, pay tribute to those we grieve for, and share an intimate sense of loss with someone else. Do I have grief to share? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The first skill needed for the Inner Game is called "letting it happen." This means gradually building a trust in the innate ability of your body to learn and to perform. --W. Timothy Gallwey A strange and intriguing mystery confronts us in the Twelve Steps. We are mending our ways; we are becoming accountable; we are striving to do what is right, yet we are learning to let go. This seems like a contradiction of logic, but it leads us to a spiritual awakening. We are becoming like the accomplished tennis player who has practiced diligently to develop every detail of his skill. Yet when he is playing the game, he cannot focus on control. He must get his ego out of the way and let himself go. It is in letting go that he rises to his highest level of fulfillment. Today we will do what we must. We can make the choices we are faced with. Then we allow ourselves to be carried along by our Higher Power to complete and fulfill the process. I will look for opportunities to let it happen today. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of looking forward. --Margaret Fairless Barber When we contemplate last month, last year, the period of time just before we came into this Twelve Step program, we can see many changes, good changes, have come our way. But we take the changes for granted sometimes. Or maybe we fail to reflect on them at all. We get caught up in the turmoil of the present, believing it will last forever, forgetting that yesterday's turmoil taught us much that we needed to know. The past, for most of us, was rife with pain. But now we have hope. We have gained on life. We may be back in the good graces of our family. Perhaps we have patched up some failed relationships. A career has beckoned to us. Good experiences have come to pass. But we aren't free of difficulties. They need not get us down again. Hindsight assures us that this, too, will pass. It also guarantees that we will move forward, just as we have again and again, if we have but faith. I will take this moment to look back at last year or the last binge. I can rest assured that I am moving forward. I will continue to do so. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Waiting Wait. If the time is not right, the way is not clear, the answer or decision not consistent, wait. We may feel a sense of urgency. We may want to resolve the issue by doing something - anything now, but that action is not in our best interest. Living with confusion or unsolved problems is difficult. It is easier to resolve things. But making a decision too soon, doing something before its time, means we may have to go back and redo it. If the time is not right, wait. If the way is not clear, do not plunge forward. If the answer or decision feels muddy, wait. In this new way of life, there is a Guiding Force. We do not ever have to move too soon or move out of harmony. Waiting is an action - a positive, forceful action. Often, waiting is a God guided action, one with as much power as a decision, and more power than an urgent, ill timed decision. We do not have to pressure ourselves by insisting that we do or know something before its time. When it is time, we will know. We will move into that time naturally and harmoniously. We will have peace and consistency. We will feel empowered in a way we do not feel today. Deal with the panic, the urgency, and the fear; do not let them control or dictate decisions. Waiting isn't easy. It isn't fun. But waiting is often necessary to get what we want. It is not dead time; it is not downtime. The answer will come. The power will come. The time will come. And it will be right. Today, I will wait, if waiting is the action I need in order to take care of myself. I will know that I am taking a positive, forceful action by waiting until the time is right. God, help me let go of my fear, urgency, and panic. Help me learn the art of waiting until the time is right. Help me learn timing. --Melody Beattie It feels terrific letting go of perfection as my goal. As I let go of my judgments, all parts of me come together and I feel complete. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey To The Heart Trust What You Know As you grow, as you evolve, as you continue on this journey, you’ll discover many special abilities, gifts, and powers. One is an increased sense of knowingness. We will begin to understand events and people on a level much deeper than we experienced before. We will begin to know the feeling of a person, place, or thing. We will begin to feel its energy, not just its matter or physical form. We’ll talk to a person for a while and know if that person feels trapped, feels like a victim, or feels free. We’ll know if a place holds energy that’s good for us. Or we’ll know that the energy isn’t right for us, doesn’t currently complement our needs. We won’t judge. We’ll just know. And we’ll know what to do. Powers appear when we open the heart. We find the powers of love, comfort, faith, joy. There are other powers,too, that come along the way. One of these is the quiet power of trusting what we know. Open your heart. Let it show you what it knows. Learn to trust what you know. You’re wiser than you think. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Discern what’s important Above all, I had learned to distinguish what was important in life and what was not. The important was often a handful of water, sometimes a protected bivouac site, a book, a conversation. – Reinhold Messner, Free Spirit A friend of mine, desiring to pursue a life of adventure by joining the skydiving community, quit a good job, sold all of his belongings, and moved on to an airport with a couple of duffle bags and a parachute. Today, he has realized his dream. He’s a professional sky diver, married, and living in a decent home close to his dream job– jumping out of airplanes. “I’ll never get rich doing this,” he explains. “But I get to wake up every day knowing that I get to do exactly what I want to do. And even more importantly, my years as a drop-zone bum taught me about whay was truly important, and what’s not.” We get attached to our things. We fuss when someone spills soda on the couch, get angry over the slightest ding on our leased Honda, and make up for lost time with loved ones by bringing them more things. Look closely at your life. Decide what’s really important to you. What would you genuinely miss, if you didn’t have it? What would you perhaps not even notice, if it was missing from your life? What might you be better off without? Learn to distinguish between the essential and that which you don’t really need. You might find, like my friend, that you’d be happier with two duffel bags and a dream than you would be with a garage full of clutter that never gets used. God, grant me the strength to pursue my dreams. Help me cut through the clutter and discover what’s truly important for me and my family. ****************************************** In God’s Care Hindsight is an exact science. ~~Guy Bellamy Sometimes we may think life would be much easier if we new just what to expect when we’re trying something new or making important plans. It’s true we wouldn’t have to deal with the uncertainty of life, but neither would we have the thrill of anticipation that comes with change. How or life evolves over time, we entrust to God. God is here today, meeting our needs in ways we can’t predict. Our role is simply to trust and listen to our Higher Power and choose our actions accordingly. We no longer have to choose the thoughts and behaviors that foster anxiety. When we quiet our inner dialogue, we’re open to what God wills for us and are available for the experiences that provide for our growth. We’ll find ourselves relying less on hindsight and more on our intuitive grasp of the moment. We’ll know the best way to proceed in every circumstance if we look to God for direction. Today I will depend less on hindsight and trying to predict the future, and more on pausing to listen to my Higher Power. ****************************************** Acting Together for Good Cooperation Cooperation seems simple: working together toward a common goal for the benefit of all involved. But amazingly it can be quite challenging, even when we have so many successful examples all around us. Human society is based upon the concept of cooperation, but finding a balance to ensure the good of all members of society is difficult. In nature, symbiotic relationships form between unlikely allies: a bee and a flower, a bird and a rhinoceros, small fish and sharks. Yet nature also shows us instances of constant competition in which only the strongest survive. Given the choice, it seems most people would choose the more peaceful path of cooperation. Intellectually, we know that together we can create something greater than what one could do alone, but cooperation still seems to be one of the greatest challenges people face. We don’t always agree on how goals can be reached. Our priorities may be different, or our methods, but in the end, cooperation offers the best chance fo! r success. So how can we learn to cooperate with each other? We can gain greater perspective by trying to understand one another’s point of view, perhaps even putting ourselves in their place. We can search for commonalities as well as differences, and look for the good in different approaches. There is always more than one way of doing things, and some approaches are better suited for certain situations than others. All this is easier when we let go of the necessity to be right and to call others wrong. More important, we must believe that there is a solution that benefits all involved, not just one side. The results of cooperation can be as simple as effortlessly getting everyone in your household to their appointments to large-scale social shifts to changing minds and hearts or policies that affect the future. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Can I be wholeheartedly grateful for today? If so, I’m opening doors to more and more abundant good. What if I can’t be thankful for the “rain” that has fallen in my life — for the so-called bad times? What then? I can begin by giving thanks for all the sunshine I can remember, and for every blessing that ha come my way. Perhaps then I’ll be able to look back over the rainy periods of my life with new vision, seeing them as necessary; perhaps then, hidden blessings I’ve overlooked will come to my attention. Am I Grateful for all of life — both the sunshine and the rain? Today I Pray May I be grateful for all that has happened to me, good an bad. Bad helps to define good. Sorrow intensifies joy. Humility brings spirituality. Disease turns health into a a paradise. Loneliness makes love both human and Divine, the greatest gift of all. I thank God for the contrasts which have made me know Him better. Today I Will Remember I am grateful for the whole of life. ****************************************** One More Day To know That which lies before us in daily life, Is the prime wisdom. – John Milton It isn’t easy becoming an adult. We have to pay the dues as we go along the path of life. As long as we have had joy and suffering, we may as well learn to use our well-earned adult perspective. After all, look how hard we worked to get here! Enjoyment is still there, free for the taking. All the intangibles we enjoyed before are still there – love, honor, trust. We alone can decide, as we sift through the happenings of our days, whether to call our lives wreckage or success, whether to create delight or sorrow. A Change in circumstances or health doesn’t mean the end of joyful living. Such changes will wisely, with greater appreciation and understanding. I will find and accept the gift of joyful living today. ************************************ Food For Thought New Skills When we stop eating compulsively, we get out of ruts that we may have been in for years. Our schedules change, since we spend less time eating. The confidence we gain encourages us to try new activities, and we discover skills we never knew we had. Because we are no longer disgusted with ourselves, we get along better with those around us. As we learn to give up fear and self-centeredness, we find ourselves turning out better work and performing well in areas where before we had been weak. Spiritual growth is the key to the new developments in all parts of our lives. We have become more closely connected to the source of creativity, so we are more alive. Others respond positively to our new sincerity and enthusiasm. That we may continue to grow and learn gives us quiet satisfaction. For this, we are grateful to OA and our Higher Power. Thank You, Lord, for newness of life. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ RELIGION ~ Religion is for people who don't want to go to hell. Program is for people who have already been there. Unknown I was religious when I came into program and I was ready and willing to tell everyone what the "true" faith was. I went to church every Sunday. I was a religion teacher. I knew it all. The truth is I didn't know ANYTHING. It didn't take long for me to begin to question my own religiosity. In fact, it began at Steps two and three. Before long, I wondered if there was a God at all. If there was, is God a He, a She or an It? Then I decided, yes there was a God, but did He/She/It care about me? The real truth is God is who God needs to be to work through me. There's no right or wrong answer to my questions. What I DO know is that God loves me just the way I am. The greatest gift my Higher Power gave me came on the day I looked up to "heaven" and told God, "I don't believe in You!" And that still, quiet voice inside of me asked, "Then to Whom are you speaking?" One Day at a Time . . . I don't have to have theological "proof" that there is a Power greater than myself. I just need to believe. ~ Debbie ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward. - Pg. 133 - The Family Afterward Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Your moods, your attitudes, and thoughts will unfold in ways that baffle you. Are you angry, resentful, frustrated or afraid now that you are committed to recovery? Probably. Despite this, you will experience moments of clarity when you realize there is Divine Order. Unexpectedly, confusion may be lifted for greater understanding, then just as quickly, you may feel baffled once again by your loss. Cling to the moments of clarity. My Spiritual Source is preparing my way and restoring order to my world even when I feel out of control. I Can Lift My Own Spirits I will lift my own spirits today. I will look for that place in me that is still and serene, that isn't just constantly in response mode. Somewhere there is a constant, meditative place where the little and even the even big concerns of the day slip away and become less important. A place where life is just life and I can breathe in and out of a place of inner calm. Life doesn't have to prove itself to me today for me to treasure it. It is enough that I am here, that I have my freedom of thought and movement. I will appreciate the life I have. I am connected with the divine - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote This is a 'We' program, not a 'Me' program. We do this together. Look at our steps. They all say 'We admitted' or 'We came to believe. Doing it together makes us stronger and less likely to fool ourselves with dysfunctional ways of thinking. This is a self-help program that I can't do by myself. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Work the program hard; life is easy. Work the program easy; life is hard. Time for Joy - Book - Quote It feels terrific letting go of perfection as my goal. As I let go of my judgments, all parts of me come together and I feel complete. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Put the cork in the bottle and let your conscience be your guide. - Anon.
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April 22
Daily Reflections NEW SOIL . . . NEW ROOTS Moments of perception can build into a lifetime of spiritual serenity, as I have excellent reason to know. Roots of reality, supplanting the neurotic underbrush, will hold fast despite the high winds of the forces which would destroy us, or which we would use to destroy ourselves. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 173 I came to A.A. green--a seedling quivering with exposed taproots. It was for survival but it was a beginning. I stretched, developed, twisted, but with the help of others, my spirit eventually burst up from the roots. I was free. I acted, withered, went inside, prayed, acted again, understood anew, as one moment of perception struck. Up from my roots, spirit-arms lengthened into strong, green shoots: high-springing servants stepping skyward. Here on earth God unconditionally continues the legacy of higher love. My A.A. life put me "on a different footing . . . [my] roots grasped a new soil." (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 12). ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day People believe in A.A. when they see it work. An actual demonstration is what convinces them. What they read in books, what they hear people say doesn't always convince them. But when they see a real honest-to-goodness change take place in a person, a change from a drunkard to a sober, useful citizen, that's something they can believe because they can see it. There's really only one thing that proves to me that A.A. works. Have I seen the change in people who come into A.A.? Meditation For The Day Divine control and unquestioning obedience to God are the only conditions necessary for a spiritual life. Divine control means absolute faith and trust in God, a belief that God is the Divine Principle in the universe and that He is the intelligence and the Love that controls the universe. Unquestioning obedience to God means living each day the way you believe God wants you to live, constantly seeking the guidance of God in every situation and being willing to do the right thing at all times. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may always be under Divine Control and always practice unquestioning obedience to God. I pray that I may be always ready to serve Him. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It To Be Fair-Minded, p. 113 Too often, I think, we have deprecated and even derided projects of our friends in the field of alcoholism just because we do not always see eye to eye with them. We should very seriously ask ourselves how many alcoholics have gone on drinking simply because we have failed to cooperate in good spirit with these many agencies--whether they be good, bad, or indifferent. No alcoholics should go mad or die merely because he did not come straight to A.A. at the beginning. << << << >> >> >> Our first objective will be the development of self-restraint. This carries a top-priority rating. When we speak or act hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot. 1. Grapevine, July 1963 2. 12 & 12, p. 91 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Faking it, and then making it. Finding the Spirit of the Thing. We're sometimes advised to "fake it until you make it." But how can anything false really lead us to recovery? Aren't we told that this is an honest program? We're not being dishonest by pushing ourselves to become actively involved in AA. The self-help movements have told us for years that we have to form an image of what we want to be in order to reach our goals. We are forming an image that corresponds to the sober people we want to be. We are actually rehearsing sober living and working to accept a picture of sobriety in our heart of hearts. There's also much to be said for "faking it" enough to attend meetings and try to benefit from association with people….. even those we don't like. This puts us in line for the change we really need. A lot of members say that they "white-knuckled it" during the first months or years of sobriety. If this worked to bring recovery, it had to be the right approach. Even if there is rebellion within, today I'll talk and act like the sober person I want to be. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple One meets his destiny often on the road one takes to avoid it.---French proverb None of us, perhaps, ever thought we'd end up in recovery. But we were working at joining recovery years before we got here! Maybe recovery was our fate from the day we first took a drink or a pill. Others around us could see the writing on the wall, but we couldn't. We were to busy trying to avoid the pain. Alcoholism and other drug abuse have to do with us trying to find spiritual wholeness--- the kind of spiritual wholeness we're finding now. . .in recovery. So, let's welcome recovery into our lives. We have found our spiritual home. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I got lost because I acted like I knew the way to a good life. You lead the way. Thank-you for putting me on the right track. Action for the Day: Today, I'll think about why it's my fate to be in recovery. I will list ways that I try to avoid my fate. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Our own rough edges become smooth as we help a friend smooth her edges. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh Focusing on a good point in every person we encounter today will benefit us in untold ways. It will smooth our relations with that person, inviting her to respond kindly also. It will increase our awareness of the goodness all around us. It will help us realize that if everyone around us has positive traits, then we must also have them. But perhaps the greatest benefit of focusing on good points is that it enhances us as women; a healthy, positive attitude must be cultivated. Many of us had little experience with feeling positive before the turning point, recovery. Recovery is offering us a new lease on life every moment. We are learning new behaviors, and we are learning that with the help of a higher power and one another, all things that are right for us are possible. It is energizing, focusing on the good points of others, knowing that their good points don't detract from our own. In the past, we may have secretly hated other women's strengths because we felt inferior. We are free from that hate now, if we choose to be. A strength we can each nurture is gratitude for being helped by, and privy to, the strengths of our friends and acquaintances. Bad points get worse with attention. My good points will gain strength. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no reason why you should neglect his family. You should continue to be friendly to them. The family should be offered your way of life. Should they accept and practice spiritual principles, there is a much better change that the head of the family will recover. And even though he continues to drink, the family will find life more bearable. p. 97 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. I stayed in Akron two or three weeks on my initial trip trying to absorb as much of the program and philosophy as possible. I spent a great deal of time with Dr. Bob, whenever he had the time to spare, and in the homes of two or three other people, trying to see how the family lived the program. Every evening we would meet at the home of one of the members and have coffee and doughnuts and spend a social evening. p. 262 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." "So spoke the group conscience. The group was right and I was wrong; the voice on the subway was not the voice of God. Here was the true voice, welling up out of my friends. I listened, and - thank God - I obeyed." p. 138 ************************************************** ********* "Spiritual growth results from absorbing and digesting truth and putting it to practice in daily life." --White Eagle There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. --John Andrew Holmes "Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you." --Carl Sandburg >From that place of stillness, the right action will emerge and you will find your next step. From that place of stillness, you can move into the present moment. There you will find your power, and there you will find God. --Melody Beattie You don't have to wait for Christmas to give gifts of love and joy. Give that love to others and yourself. Give it often. Give it freely. Give it all year round. --Melody Beattie When we listen, God speaks and guides. --Paul K. McAfee ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation MUSIC "I have my own particular sorrows, loves, delights; and you have yours. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality." --H. A. Overstreet A language for the world is music. It unites all peoples, cultures, religions and backgrounds; it points man beyond himself, while at the same time breathing through him God's glory. Music makes man wonder, enables him to dream, allows him to rest in the miracle of creativity. Drugs stopped me from appreciating the gift of music. They twisted and corrupted sounds and made them destructive and coarse. Drugs took from me so much and left me with a feeling of utter emptiness. In my recovery I can hear again. My spiritual program incorporates music, different types of music, the inexhaustible joys of melody. I can feel in it, through it, with it - another miracle. Thank You for the gift of music that enables me to grow in my understanding of self and my need of others. ************************************************** ********* "But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing." Matthew 6:3 "But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was." James 1:22-24 "I know, O Lord, that your judgments are right.... Let your steadfast love become my comfort.... For your law is my delight." Psalm 119:75-77 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration When you feel the need to tell someone how bad your day has been, tell them how good it's been instead. Lord, help me to highlight the parts of my day that will bring me to a peaceful and joyful place. There is always a reason why people act as they do. Lord, help me to be more patient and understanding. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Traveling The Open Road "This is our road to spiritual growth." Basic Text, p. 35 When we arrived at our first NA meeting, it looked like the end of the road to many of us. We weren't going to be able to use anymore. We were spiritually bankrupt. Most of us were totally isolated and didn't think we had much to live for. Little did we realize that, as we began our program of recovery, we were stepping onto a road of unlimited possibilities. At first, just not using was tough enough. Yet, as we watched other addicts working the steps and applying those principles in their lives, we began to see that recovery was more than just not using. The lives of our NA friends had changed. They had a relationship with the God of their understanding. They were responsible members of the fellowship and of society. They had a reason to live. We began to believe these things were possible for us, too. As we continue our recovery journey, we can get sidetracked by complacency, intolerance, or dishonesty. When we do, we need to recognize the signs quickly and get back on our path — the open road to freedom and growth. Just for today: I am continuing to develop my spiritual, social, and general living skills by applying the principles of my program. I can travel as far as I wish on the open road of recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I meant to do my work today But a brown bird sang in an apple tree, And a butterfly flitted across the field And all the leaves were calling me. --Richard LeGallienne The harried hen scurried about her house, trying to put it in order. Some friends she hadn't seen for years were due to arrive later that day, and she wanted everything perfect for them. In a flurry, she made the bed, put away the dishes, and scrubbed the floor. Oh dear, she thought in dismay, I meant to wash the sheets today. Frantically, she flew back to the bedroom and tore the sheets from the made bed. Just then, a neighbor arrived and stood at hen's door, watching her anxiously rush about. "Dear hen," he said in a patient loving tone, for he was quite fond of her, "You will never enjoy your visit if you continue to race about. Come. Sit and rest and tell me of these friends. Have you any snapshots?" The hen did as her neighbor had suggested, and soon her friends arrived to find her relaxed, refreshed, and warm with the memories of them. What is my real work for the day? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The first springs of great events, like those of great rivers, are often mean and little. --Jonathan Swift Our lives are like streams which flow through time. Looking at the flow of our whole lives, we see the interconnections of many days that seemed minor. Each day contributes to the stream of goals and faith and relationships. As we look at the flow of a whole river, we see at its beginning a little trickle of water here, joining another trickle there, slowly gathering together a stream that develops force and direction. We may look for intensity in our lives and ignore the quiet. Much of our lives may have been lived on a roller coaster of major crises. As terrible as it seemed, it was not dull. Today may seem rather boring. But in recovery we learn to appreciate the more subtle trickle that a good day can be. Simply continuing with the flow - of our program, of faithfulness to our values, of being emotionally present in our relationships - adds up to a rich life. May I see the continuity of my life in the simple moments of this day. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Our own rough edges become smooth as we help a friend smooth her edges. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh Focusing on a good point in every person we encounter today will benefit us in untold ways. It will smooth our relations with that person, inviting her to respond kindly also. It will increase our awareness of the goodness all around us. It will help us realize that if everyone around us has positive traits, then we must also have them. But perhaps the greatest benefit of focusing on good points is that it enhances us as women; a healthy, positive attitude must be cultivated. Many of us had little experience with feeling positive before the turning point, recovery. Recovery is offering us a new lease on life every moment. We are learning new behaviors, and we are learning that with the help of a higher power and one another, all things that are right for us are possible. It is energizing, focusing on the good points of others, knowing that their good points don't detract from our own. In the past, we may have secretly hated other women's strengths because we felt inferior. We are free from that hate now, if we choose to be. A strength we can each nurture is gratitude for being helped by, and privy to, the strengths of our friends and acquaintances. Bad points get worse with attention. My good points will gain strength. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Coping With Stress Inevitably, there are times of stress in our lives, no matter how long we've been in recovery. Sometimes, the stress is outside or around us. We're feeling balanced, but our circumstances are stressful. Sometimes, the stress is within; we feel out of balance. When the stress is external and internal, we experience our most difficult times. During stressful times, we can rely more heavily on our support systems. Our friends and groups can help us feel more balanced and peaceful in spite of our stressful conditions. Affirming that the events taking place are a temporarily uncomfortable part of a good, solid plan can help. We can assure ourselves that we will get through. We won't be destroyed. We won't crumple or go under. It helps to go back to the basics to focus on detachment, dealing with feelings, and taking life one day at a time. Our most important focus during times of stress is taking care of ourselves. We are better able to cope with the most irregular circumstances; we are better able to be there for others, if we're caring for ourselves. We can ask ourselves regularly: What do we need to do to take care of ourselves? What might help us feel better or more comfortable? Self-care may not come as easily during times of stress. Self-neglect may feel more comfortable. But taking care of us always works. Today, I will remember that there is no situation that can't be benefited by taking care of myself. Today I will be aware not to judge myself when I feel less than perfect. I am beginning to love myself just as I am and that feels so nice. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey To The Heart On the Other Side of Fear Is Joy Climb over the wall of fear. Fear can be like a brick wall on our path. We may say we want to move forward– we want to feel better, do something new, live differently, go to the next place on our journey– but if we have unrecognized fears about that, we may feel like we’ve hit a wall. We don’t know we’re afraid; the fear is tucked and hidden away. All we can see is that, for some unknown reason, we can’t seem to move forward in our life. We’re in the dark. Or we may be conscious of our fear, but be refusing to deal with it. We have talked ourselves out of honestly addressing the fear by telling ourselves to be strong and brave. While there is much to be gained from pressing forward at certain times in our lives, there simply are other times when we cannot do that because our fear holds us back. There are times in life when real power comes from being vulnerable enough to say, Yes, I am afraid. Gently face our fears one at a time as they arise. Let each fear surface into consciousness. Tell yourself you know it’s there. Then release its energy; let it dissipate into the air. Don’t be afraid of what you’ll find; the feeling is only fear. There’s a magic I’ve learned over the years. It happens when I feel my fear. My life changes. I become empowered to move on. Barricades I have not been able to penetrate crumble and disappear. And all I had to do was simply face and feel my fear. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Solve the right problems Are you solving the problems you want to solve, or the problems you think that you are supposed to solve? –Thom Rutledge Peter spent his days solving problems. He had attended the right college and found the right profession and worked for the right people. As a successful accountant, he counted other people’s money and figured out what they owed the government. Peter was good at his job, but he wanted to take pictures. Still, accounting was an important job, and people needed him to help them with their taxes. Solving other people’s money problems took up most of Peter’s time, so much time that he gradually forgot about taking pictures. One day, he picked up a magazine on photography and started reading. He bought a camera and took some pictures. Then he took a vacation and took some more pictures. He entered them in a local showing and received second prize. Peter didn’t stop being an accountant. But now he spends as much time solving problems of aperture and shutter speed as he does 401k’s and 1099?s. Are you solving the problems that you want to solve? Or are you solving the same problem over and over? Find the answers to the questions you have. Then find more questions to ask. God, give me the courage to follow my heart. Teach me how to experience more joy in my life. ****************************************** In God’s Care Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. ~~George Bernard Shaw One thing we all have going for us is the ability to change our mind. Thank God. If we were still stuck with our childhood beliefs, where would we be now? Many of us have gotten into deep trouble – physically and emotionally – by following beliefs that proved wrong. For instance, the treacherous belief that we are self-sufficient, that to depend on others is a sign of weakness. How many of us crashed and burned while holding high the banner of independence? Disastrous circumstances have forced us to change our mind. Now we know that we cannot get along without others, nor without a Higher Power to guide us. We are still tempted daily to go it alone – old habits die hard – but we can change our mind as often as needed. With God’s help, I can exercise the greatest force for change in my life – I can change my mind. ****************************************** Together on Earth Seeing the Bigger Picture by Madisyn Taylor When we see a photo of our earth from space, it is hard to feel ourselves as being separate from all others. Seeing an image of the planet Earth taken from space inspires awe in many of us, since we can clearly see the connectedness of all of us who live upon this planet. We have created imaginary boundaries, sectioning ourselves into countries and states, forgetting that in reality we are all living together, breathing the same air, drinking from the same water, eating food grown from the same earth. We share everything on this planet, whether we are conscious of it or not, with other people, and those people are our brothers and sisters. Keeping a photograph or painting of the planet Earth in a prominent place in our homes can be a positive way to remember our interconnectedness. Meditating on the fact that any sense of separation we have from one another is truly an illusion, we will naturally begin to make more conscious choices in our daily lives. The simple act of preparing food, or determining how to dispose of our refuse, can be done with the consciousness that whatever we do will affect all our brothers and sisters, no matter how far away they live, as well as the planet herself. When we foster this kind of awareness in ourselves out of a feeling of awe, it becomes easier to be conscious than to fall back into old habits of thinking of ourselves as separate. When we contemplate the earth in her wholeness, we attune ourselves to the truth of the bigger picture, which is the Earth, and all of us, every one of us, living on her body. We are connected to one another in the most intimate way, because we literally share our living space. As more people become aware of the reality of our interdependency, things will shift in a positive direction, and much of the discord that we see now will give way to a more cooperative, loving conscious. This is happening already, so as our consciousness grows, we can join with the many other minds working to live in the spirit of togetherness. Published with permission from Daily Om ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day As I Attend meetings of The Program, my eyes open wider and wider. Other people’s problems make mine look small, yet they are facing them with courage and confidence. Others are trapped in situations as bad as mine, but they bear their troubles with more fortitude. By going to meetings, I find many reasons to be grateful. My load has begun to lighten. Do I expect easy solutions to my problems? Or do I ask only to be guided to a better way? Today I Pray Make The Program my way of life. Its goals are my goals. Its members are my truest friends. May I pass along the skills for coping I have learned there. May my turnabout and the resulting transformation in my life inspire others, as others have inspired me. Today I Will Remember May I be grateful. ****************************************** One More Day As mature people we must learn not to love ourselves excessively nor to mistrust the universe morbidly. – Joshua Loth Liebman Each time we know success, large or small, we may tend to applaud ourselves. We have all see small children clapping their hands together in glee at some small triumph. That is the spontaneity of human nature. Even now that we are older, we may find it difficult not to praise ourselves in front of others each time we make some kind of gain. We learn we are applauded for those special times with which all people can identify — success on the job or when a new child or grandchild is born. Sometimes, however, our applause must be private — treasured by no one but ourselves — for we may be the only one to realize how much we deserve it. When I achieve success, in any aspect of my life I will glow with inner pride. ************************************ Food For Thought Happiness Happiness is rarely achieved by pursuing it. We compulsive overeaters used to think that food could make us happy, but we found that it could not. Many of us tried other substances, too, such as alcohol, drugs, or money. When these also failed us, we may have decided that only a perfect partner could make us happy. Alas, we soon discovered that there are no perfect individuals, only ordinary people with faults like our own. So where does happiness fit in? At some point along the line, we abandon the frantic pursuit of an external object of happiness and begin to work on ourselves. As we go through the Twelve Steps, we become less self-centered and more focused on a Higher Power. As we are able to concentrate more on His will and less on our own, we find that periods of happiness come as a by product. Paradoxically, when happiness is no longer our goal, we have more of it. In You, there is joy. ***************************************** One Day At A Time COMPULSIONS “Compulsive urges to overeat, gorge or purge are inadequate coping mechanisms. Compulsion is loss of control and continuation of the behavior despite the consequences.” Gloria Arenson Compulsive overeating is not a moral dilemma. It is not about “right” or “wrong.” It is not a black-and-white situation. I learned at a pre-verbal stage that compulsive overeating is a coping mechanism. When I cried to be held, I was fed. When I cried because I was wet, I was fed. When I cried because I was in pain, I was fed. When life was good, I was fed. Is it any wonder I came to reach for food when life was happening around me? This program teaches me better ways to cope with life. Instead of reacting to life, I have learned through the Steps how to take action. I did not choose this disease, but I do choose recovery. Through the help of my Higher Power, the program, and other program members I can recover. I can live in the solution one day at a time and one meal at a time. One Day at a Time . . . I will have a program. I choose recovery, health, love and life. ~ Sarah H. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. - Pg. 151 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote 'We can reach UP for that energy, and we can reach IN for that energy, feel that life force, touch that Power Greater Than Ourselves. We can reach up and in and hold on and hang in there. If we just stop. We can climb up from that dark hole. And be here. Be present. Be awake for the next miracle.'--Ruth Fishel, I do not give up before the miracle, of climbing up from this dark hole and seeing the clean and sober light. Treasures If I am alive then I need to look around me and feel thankful for the gifts that are mine. There is so much to be grateful for if I am willing to consider the blessings I already have. There is a wisdom in gratitude because what I focus on with appreciation has a way of expanding in my life. If I erase my blessings, I don't feed them with the grace of gratitude. If I give thanks for them, I show the creative force that brings forth all good things that I am worthy enough to appreciate what has been so generously given to me. I know enough to say thank you - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Seven days without a meeting, makes one weak. Just as I am not independently wealthy and need to work to stay solvent, I am not independently healthy and need meetings to stay soulvent. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Try to listen sober, your ears work better that way. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will be aware not to judge myself when I feel less than perfect. I am beginning to love myself just as I am and that feels so nice. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I came into AA with no conditions on my sobriety. Not to save a job or a marriage, or my standing in the community. I came here to save my life, and I'm real grateful for that. I see so many people come in here for other reasons and when that works out and it still doesn't fix them ...a lot get drunk. - Sean A.
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April 23
Daily Reflections A.A. IS NOT A CURE-ALL It would be a product of false pride to claim that A.A. is a cure-all, even for alcoholism. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 285 In my early years of sobriety I was full of pride, thinking that A.A. was the only source of treatment for a good and happy life. It certainly was the basic ingredient for my sobriety and even today, with over twelve years in the program, I am very involved in meetings, sponsorship and service. During the first four years of my recovery, I found it necessary to seek professional help, since my emotional health was extremely poor. There are those folks too, who have found sobriety and happiness in other organizations. A.A. taught me that I had a choice: to go to any lengths to enhance my sobriety. A.A. may not be a cure-all for everything, but it is the center of my sober living. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Men and women keep coming into A.A., licked by alcohol, often given up by doctors as hopeless cases, they themselves admitting they're helpless to stop drinking. When I see these men and women get sober and stay sober over a period of months and years, I know that A.A. works. The change I see in people who come into A.A. not only convinces me that A.A. works, but it also convinces me that there must be a Power greater than ourselves which helps us to make that change. Am I convinced that a Higher Power can help me to change? Meditation For The Day Cooperation with God is the great necessity for our lives. All else follows naturally. Cooperation with God is the result of our consciousness of His presence. Guidance is bound to come to us as we live more and more with God, as our consciousness becomes more and more attuned to the great Consciousness of the universe. We must have many quiet times when we not so much ask to be shown and led by God, as to feel and realize His presence. New spiritual growth comes naturally from cooperation with God. Prayer For The Day I pray that God may supply me with strength and show me the direction in which He wants me to grow. I pray that these things may come naturally from my cooperation with Him. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It No Personal Power, p. 114 "At first, the remedy for my personal difficulties seemed so obvious that I could not imagine any alcoholic turning the proposition down were it properly presented to him. Believing so firmly that Christ can do anything, I had the unconscious conceit to suppose that He would do everything through me--right then and in the manner I chose. After six long months, I had to admit that not a soul had surely laid hold of the Master--not excepting myself. "This brought me to the good healthy realization that there were plenty of situations left in the world over which I had no personal power--that if I was so ready to admit that to be the case with alcohol, so I must make the same admission with respect to much else. I would have to be still and know that He, not I, was God." Letter, 1940 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places When am I manipulative? Personal relations. Without understanding our motives, we can easily lapse into behavior aimed at manipulating others. Sulking is a means of letting others know we are displeased and forcing them to attempt to win our approval. Flattery is a false expression of approval that we don't really feel…. Giving others good strokes for our own purpose. Withholding deserved praise is a means of putting others down, something we're likely to do because of our jealousy. Manipulative behavior is almost always selfish behavior. IT is usually a false means of trying to get our own way. It is certainly an immature way of dealing with people and situations. The best way to avoid being manipulative is to be ourselves at all times. We have neither the right nor the responsibility to control or regulate other people. Our best approach, in trying to influence others' actions, is simply to state our own case with sincerity and honest. Others must be free to act, free to choose, and free to make their own decisions without manipulative interference on our part. I will be myself at all times today. I will not assume false roles simply for the purpose of bending others to my own will. Manipulative behavior is controlling behavior, which I must avoid. The door to the human heart can only be opened from the INSIDE. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. --- Ernest Hemingway It's hard to listen in a complete way. Often we listen, but we're still thinking about ourselves. We wonder, "How do their words relate to me? Do I have anything to add?" Often, fear is behind these questions. We fear saying the wrong thing. We fear looking stupid. Good listeners know how to let go of their fears. To listen completely, we step outside ourselves, and we're totally there for someone else. Sometimes we listen for only a few moments. Sometimes we don't even agree with the people we're listening to. But we let them know that they count. What a gift we give when we listen in a complete way! Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, teach me to listen in a complete way. Teach me to step outside myself and be their for others. Action for the Day: Today, I'll listen to what the person says. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die. --Eleanor Roosevelt We need to take note, today, of all the opportunities we have to offer a helping hand to another person. We can notice too, the many times a friend, or even a stranger, reaches out to us in a helpful way. The opportunities to contribute to life's flow are unending. Our own vibrancy comes from involvement with others, from contributing our talents, our hearts to one another's daily travels. The program helps us to know that God lives in us, among us. When we close ourselves off from our friends, our fellow travelers, we block God's path to us and through us. To live means sharing one another's space, dreams, sorrows, contributing our ears to hear, our eyes to see, our arms to hold, our hearts to love. When we close ourselves off from each other--we have destroyed the vital contribution we each need to make and to receive in order to nurture life. We each need only what the other can give. Each person we meet today needs our special contribution. What a wonderful collection of invitations awaits me today! ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS For the type of alcoholic who is able and willing to get well, little charity, in the ordinary sense of the word, is need or wanted. The men who cry for money and shelter before conquering alcohol, are on the wrong track. Yet we do go to great extremes to provide each other with these very things, when such action is warranted. This may seem inconsistent, but we think it is not. pp. 97-98 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. The day before I was due to go back or Chicago---it was Dr. Bob's afternoon off---he had me to the office and we spent three or four hours formally going through the Six-Step program as it was at that time. The six steps were: 1. Complete deflation. 2. Dependence and guidance from a Higher Power. 3. Moral inventory. 4. Confession. 5. Restitution. 6. Continued work with other alcoholics. pp. 262-263 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Three - "The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking." This Tradition is packed with meaning. For A.A. is really saying to every serious drinker, "You are an A.A. member if you say so. You can declare yourself in; nobody can keep you out. No matter who you are, no matter how low you've gone, no matter how grave your emotional complications - even your crimes - we still can't deny you A.A. We don't want to keep you out. We aren't a bit afraid you'll harm us, never mind how twisted or violent you may be. We just want to be sure that you get the same great chance for sobriety that we've had. So you're an A.A. member the minute you declare yourself." p. 139 ************************************************** ********* All I have is today, this moment, now. I can spend this moment making it the best moment yet with fearlessness, trust, courage, confidence, faith and love or I can waste it with doubt, anxiety, worry, regret, anger, fear, distress and hurt. Knowing that whichever way I choose determines the experiences I will have, I choose to use the opportunity of each moment to live my life to the fullest, always choosing love. --Carol A James Those who enjoy the greatest lives are not extraordinary people, or even ordinary people with something added. They are not necessarily the wealthiest or most professionally acclaimed. Those who sparkle with aliveness are ordinary people with nothing taken away. They have not lost their wonder of the moment. They cherish the presence of a friend; they marvel when a child takes their hand. They find a gift in each moment of living. --Mary Manin Morrissey I choose to love others, as God would. This means no severe judging, no resentments, no malicious gossip, no destructive criticism. --SweetyZee Creativity is so delicate a flower that praise tends to make it bloom, while discouragement often nips it in the bud. Any of us will put out more and better ideas if our efforts are appreciated. --Alexander F. Osborn Forgiveness is a not a gift we give to the other person, rather, God's gift to us. God goes ahead of us, preparing the way. --Jean A Samples ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation DIVINITY "To say that a man is made up of certain chemical elements is a satisfactory description only for those who intend to use him as a fertilizer." --Herbert J. Muller Man is more than chemicals. Man is more than an animal. Man is a human being, carrying the image of God, the imprint of Divinity, the power of the creative God. As an addict I doubted myself, only adding to my "powerlessness" and "unmanageability". I internally said, "I can't" before I tried. My low self-esteem was evident long before I took a drink. I was always trying to get my "outsides" to match what I imagined your "insides" to be like. When I accepted my alcoholism I was able to discover God in my life. Today I am able to create through Him and in Him. Spirituality comes with the awareness of our God-given divinity. May I never cease to see You in my life. ************************************************** ********* "Blessed is the man who endures trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life which God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12 Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Matthew 6:12 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:25-34 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:4-9 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration We have the ability to influence those around us and therefore it is necessary to think of ourselves as the center of peace so that we may bring calm to those who need it. Lord, may I bring Your peace to everyone I am with today. God promises His forgiveness to those who repent. Lord, I am sorry for all that I have done wrong this day and all the days of my life. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today A God Of Our Own Understanding "Many of us understand God to be simply whatever force keeps us clean." Basic Text, p. 25 Some of us enter recovery with a working understanding of a Higher Power. For a lot of us, however, "God" is a troublesome word. We may doubt the existence of any sort of Power greater than ourselves. Or we may remember uncomfortable experiences with religion and shy away from "the God stuff." Starting over in recovery means we can start over in our spiritual life, too. If we're not comfortable with what we learned when we were growing up, we can try a different approach to our spirituality. We don't have to understand everything all at once or find the answers to all our questions right away. Sometimes it's enough just to know that other NA members believe and that their belief helps keep them clean. Just for today: All I have to know right now about my Higher Power is that it is the Power that helps keep me clean. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear not absence of fear. --Mark Twain It is not unusual to feel afraid. It is unusual, however, to hear anyone admit to feeling afraid. Sometimes we think there are some people who are so cool and calm that they never feel afraid. This may make us think we're not as good because we know how often we feel afraid. This is why it is important to think about what courage really is. It is not the absence of fear. Courage is not letting fear stop us from doing what we need to do. We might have to get up in front of a group to give a speech. We could give in to our fear and not give the speech, or we could admit our fear to those who love us, and then go ahead and do the best we can. To go ahead in the face of fear is courage. What am I afraid of? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world. --Eleanor Roosevelt In recovery, perhaps first we make peace with ourselves, and not until later do we become our own friends. We have been at war with ourselves and in turmoil with our families, even while feeling like victims. This program lays out Twelve Steps we can follow to become friends with ourselves. In recovery we may still feel self-hate when we constantly monitor our every action, when we react to our mistakes by berating ourselves, and when we dwell on past offenses. Would we put a friend through that? A true friend will accept you as you are. He doesn't put you down or call you derogatory names. He'll give you honest feedback and won't put on a false front. He'll support you when you're in trouble. Being our own friend means doing these things for ourselves. Perhaps we can even embrace and be kind to the part of ourselves that is addicted and codependent. Today, I will be a friend to my whole self - even the parts of me I have rejected. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die. --Eleanor Roosevelt We need to take note, today, of all the opportunities we have to offer a helping hand to another person. We can notice too, the many times a friend, or even a stranger, reaches out to us in a helpful way. The opportunities to contribute to life's flow are unending. Our own vibrancy comes from involvement with others, from contributing our talents, our hearts to one another's daily travels. The program helps us to know that God lives in us, among us. When we close ourselves off from our friends, our fellow travelers, we block God's path to us and through us. To live means sharing one another's space, dreams, sorrows, contributing our ears to hear, our eyes to see, our arms to hold, our hearts to love. When we close ourselves off from each other--we have destroyed the vital contribution we each need to make and to receive in order to nurture life. We each need only what the other can give. Each person we meet today needs our special contribution. What a wonderful collection of invitations awaits me today! You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Opening Ourselves to Love Allowing ourselves to receive love is one of the greatest challenges we face in recovery. Many of us have blocked ourselves from receiving love. We may have lived with people who used love to control us. They would be there for us, but at the high price of our freedom. Love was given, or withheld, to control us and have power over us. It was not safe for us to receive love from these people. We may have gotten accustomed to not receiving love, not acknowledging our need for love, because we lived with people who had no real love to give. At some point in recovery, we acknowledge that we, too, want and need to be loved. We may feel awkward with this need. Where do we go with it? What do we do? Who can give us love? How can we determine who is safe and who isn't? How can we let others care for us without feeling trapped, abused, frightened, and unable to care for ourselves? We will learn. The starting point is surrendering - to our desire to be loved, our need to be nurtured and loved. We will grow confident in our ability to take care of ourselves with people. We will feel safe enough to let people care for us; we will grow to trust our ability to choose people who are safe and who can give us love. We may need to get angry first - angry that our needs have not been met. Later, we can become grateful to those people who have shown us what we don't want, the ones who have assisted us in the process of believing we deserve love, and the ones who come into our life to love us. We are opening up like flowers. Sometimes it hurts as the petals push open. Be glad. Our heart is opening up to the love that is and will continue to be there for us. Surrender to the love that is there for us, to the love that people, the Universe, and our Higher Power send our way. Surrender to love, without allowing people to control us or keep us from caring for ourselves. Start by surrendering to love for yourself. Today, I will open myself to the love that is here for me. I will let myself receive love that is safe, knowing I can take care of myself with people. I will be grateful to all the people from my past who have assisted me in my process of opening up to love. I claim, accept, and am grateful for the love that is coming to me. Today I feel my entire body energized by my powerful positive, thoughts. I feel alive and full of joy as I feed myself with loving and positive energy. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey To The Heart Give Yourself a Break Learn to appreciate yourself and others. Knowing we desire growth and improvement is one thing. Constantly driving ourselves and others is another. Maybe the answer isn’t that we need to do better, try harder, push more. Maybe the answer is recognizing and appreciating how well we already do things. How hard we try. How much we have done. How well others are doing,too. Pushing ourselves can become so habitual that we deny ourselves any feeling of satisfaction. No matter how well or how much we do, the urge to try harder, do better, do more keeps pushing us on. It doesn’t let us rest. We still feel it isn’t quite good enough. If you’ve been pushing yourself that hard, you may need more than a coffee break. Take a real break. Give yourself permission to put that drive aside. Quiet that part of you that wants to do more, be more, accomplish more. Learn to value how well you do things, even if no one else sees or appreciates your efforts. Applaud your own efforts and the efforts of those you love. For today and for one week, instead of demanding more from yourself, tell yourself how well you’ve done. For today and for one week, instead of demanding more from those around you, tell them that they are doing well,too. Tell yourself how well you do. You may discover you’re doing better than you thought. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Say what your intentions are Have you ever done anything deliberately to hurt someone, to get even with that person, or to gain revenge? Have you ever done anything subconsciously with intentions that weren’t noble? “I dated a woman for three months,” Kent said. “It took me that long to realize that I was simply getting even with my last girlfriend, who had broken up with me. I used this woman as a tool for revenge and a way to get even with my ex. I felt horrible when I realized what I had done. But when I looked more deeply, I saw that my relationships were a series of attempts at getting revenge and retribution. I never took time out to feel and clear my anger from the last relationship that hadn’t worked. Intentions are a powerful force. They combine desire, emotion, and will. They’re stronger and more powerful than wishes or simple desires. They can be a profound force in our lives and in the lives of people we touch. Take a moment before entering a situation. Examine what your true intentions are. Do you have a motive, an agenda, a strong expectation involved? Have you been as clear as possible with yourself, and with whomever else is involved, about what you really expect and want? Or are you operating with a hidden agenda, hoping that if you force your will long enough, you’ll get your way? Ask God to show you the intentions of the people you’re involved with. Sometimes they don’t know, themselves. Sometimes they do, but they’re not telling you. In those circumstances, you’re being set up for a manipulation and possibly some pain. Be clear on your intentions. And stay as clear as possible on what other people want from you. God, bring to light my intentions and motives, and the intentions and motives of those with whom I interact. ****************************************** In God’s Care An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. ~~Friedrich Engels Overplanning, overthinking, and too much talking often hinder the actions that can bring real growth. We know this, and yet we still get trapped, usually by our fears that we’ll not proceed perfectly. Life is the process of making progress. We learn by doing, not just by thinking. We can make our forward steps more easily when we ask God to share the journey, but we have to put one foot in front of the other. And that usually leads us to someone else in need. How many times have we felt stuck or depressed or obsessively fearful, only to discover our head clearing and our heart calming when we got out of the house, out of ourselves, and focused on someone else? Helpful actions energize us and give us hope. They connect us to our Higher Power and make all the difference in our daily spiritual progress. I will not sit and obsess today. I’ll go out and find someone in need. ****************************************** Permanently Parents The Changing Nest by Madisyn Taylor Being a parent never ends, it only transitions throughout our lives together assuming new and exciting roles. Once individuals become parents, they are parents forevermore. Their identities change perceptively the moment Mother Nature inaugurates them mom or dad. Yet the role they undertake when they welcome children into their lives is not a fixed one. As children move from one phase of their lives to the next, parental roles change. When these transitions involve a child gaining independence, many parents experience an empty nest feeling. Instead of feeling proud that their children have achieved so much—whether the flight from the nest refers to the first day of kindergarten or the start of college—parents feel they are losing a part of themselves. However, when approached thoughtfully, this new stage of parental life can be an exciting time in which mothers and fathers rediscover themselves and relate to their children in a new way. As children earn greater levels of independence, their parents often gain unanticipated freedom. Used to being depended upon by and subject to the demands of their children, parents sometimes forget that they are not only mom or dad but also individuals. As the nest empties, parents can alleviate the anxiety and sadness they feel by rediscovering themselves and honoring the immense strides their children have made in life. The simplest way to honor a child undergoing a transition is to allow that child to make decisions and mistakes appropriate to their level of maturity. Freed from the role of disciplinarian, parents of college-age children can befriend their offspring and undertake an advisory position. Those with younger children beginning school or teenagers taking a first job can plan a special day in which they express their pride and explain that they will always be there to offer love and support. An empty nest can touch other members of the family unit as well. Young people may feel isolated or abandoned when their siblings leave the nest. As this is normal, extra attention can help them feel more secure in their newly less populated home. Spouses with more leisure time on their hands may need to relearn how to be best friends and lovers. Other family members will likely grieve less when they understand the significance of the child’s new phase of life. The more parents both celebrate and honor their children’s life transitions, the less apprehension the children will feel. Parents who embrace their changing nest while still cherishing their offspring can look forward to developing deeper, more mature relationships with them in the future. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day No matte what it is that seems to be our need or problem, we can find something to rejoice in, something for which to give thanks. It is not God who needs to be thanked, but we who need to be thankful. Thankfulness opens new doors to good in our life. Thankfulness creates a new heart and a new spirit in us. Do I keep myself aware of the many blessings that come to me each day and remember to be thankful for them? Today I Pray May God fill me with a spirit of thankfulness. When I express my thanks, however fumbling, to God or to another human being, I am not ony being gracious to Him or that other person for helping me, but I am also giving myself the greatest reward of all — a thankful heart. May I not forget either the transitive “to thank,” directed at someone else, or the intransitive “giving thanks,” which fills my own great need. Today I Will Remember Thank and give thanks. ****************************************** One More Day To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. – Ecclesiastics 3:1 All time and places in our lives have meaning and value. Regardless of what we have done in the past, whether we are proud or ashamed of our past actions, the only time over which we have any control is now. If we have no sense of direction in life, if we have no daily power or purpose, we may wander aimlessly through this new time in our lives, unaware of where we are going. The reality of our lives is this: our health has changed. We are the only ones who can choose how to deal with this reality. We can wistfully look back to another time and place, or we can live in the here and now by making the best of a less than ideal situation. The choice is ours, but only the second choice provides our lives with meaning and purpose. I won’t squander today by living in the past. ************************************ Food For Thought Wisdom The longer we live this Twelve Step program, the more we realize that we do not have all the answers. Our finite knowledge is very limited, and we need all the help we can get. Acknowledging our limitations and our powerlessness is the beginning of wisdom. Conceding that we cannot manage our own lives puts us in a position whereby we may humbly ask for the wisdom that comes from our Higher Power. If we are to grow in wisdom and learn which things to accept and which to change, we need to conscientiously devote time each day to the OA program. We need to read and re-read the literature. We need to examine our motives and our deeds. We need to act according to the promptings of our Higher Power. Wisdom is not acquired overnight. The more patient we are and the more humble, the better able we are to learn from the mistakes we make. May I stay close to You, the source of wisdom. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ BIRTHRIGHT ~ I've continued to recognize the power individuals have to change virtually anything and everything in their lives in an instant. I've learned that the resources we need to turn our dreams into reality are within us, merely waiting for the day when we decide to wake up and claim our birthright. Anthony Robbins I have divine origins because I am part of my Higher Power. Whether I see my Higher Power as a male, female or neither; no matter if I experience my Higher Power as a Heavenly Parent, a Divine Friend, or a Great Spirit; whether I find my Higher Power in a temple, in the mountains, or in my child's eyes ... I am connected to something greater than myself, my problems, and my fears. The who, what, where, when, and how of my Higher Power are not important. I don't have to completely understand HP because my HP understands me. I have been endowed with all the things I need to be successful in recovery and in life. All I have to do is step up and claim them. I have intellect, I have emotion, and I have a spirit. All of those things have a direct line to my Higher Power. What I can't yet access is given to me as a gift when I claim my divine birthright by simply saying, "I can't. You can. I think I'll let You." What greater power is there than to give our power to our Higher Power? Knowing when I can't do it alone is a gift! One Day at a Time . . . I will remember I come from royalty. I will remember my divine birthright and step up to claim it. Today I will not sell my divine birthright for a mess of pottage. ~ Sandee ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that! - Pg. 153 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote You are allowed to use a concept of God to rant and rave at, to vent frustrations. If you believe in a Higher Power or you don't, it doesn't matter. If you rant at god and there is none, no harm done. IF you rant at god and God exists, no harm done. A loving God understands and absorbs your pain. This is better then ranting at those around you, who may not care to absorb your pain! I vent my frustrations toward a Universal Intelligence, not others who may be unable to bear my suffering. Silver Linings I search for silver linings, for the deeper meaning of events in my life. I will look for the lesson. When life offers up its inevitable challenges, I will try to understand what I am meant to see that I am not seeing, what I am meant to hear that I am not hearing. There is always a silver lining if I look for it. Even if I don't see it readily, I trust that it is there and that it will reveal itself to me over time. Life isn't simple. One of the ways that I can have a better experience is to see what is positive, about a given situation, to look for the silver lining. I can grow in joy and in pain. It doesn't need to be one or the other because pain can transform into joy. It can be the fire that clears the the field for new and tender growth. There is always a silver lining - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'Smile facts: It is 2.5 times easier to smile than to frown. It takes 43 muscles to frown, but only 17 to smile. Smiling stimulates our nervous system to produce 'cerebral morphine.' This hormone give us a pleasant feeling and it has an anesthetic effect. ~Karlynn Baker Scharlau, A Thoughtful Moment When I meet someone today who isn't wearing a smile, I give them mine. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book From Narcotic's Obvious to Narcotic's Anonymous. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I can set my goals with the clear and confident knowledge that I can only do one thing at a time and take one step at a time towards that goal. I do not need to wait until I reach the goal to be happy and satisfied. I am fulfilled with each step, knowing that is all I can do in each moment. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I hate 12 Step calls. I complain all the way to the house.. I hate every minute of it. Until the door opens and I look in the eyes and see the pain, the fear, the degradation and the incomprehensible demoralization. I see what was in my eyes when I walked through the doors of AA. And I look in the eyes and it becomes the greatest gift you've ever given me; the ability to give a little bit of my dark, sleazy past and turn it into the greatest gift that I have to give to another human being. - Patti O.
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04-16-2021, 05:59 AM | #24 |
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April 24
Daily Reflections LEARNING TO LOVE OURSELVES Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were surrounded by people who loved us... We were trying to find emotional security either by dominating or by being dependent upon others . . . We still vainly tried to be secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or dependence. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 252 When I did my personal inventory I found that I had unhealthy relationships with most people in my life- my friends and family, for example. I always felt isolated and lonely. I drank to dull emotional pain. It was through staying sober, having a good sponsor and working the Twelve Steps that I was able to build up my low self-esteem. First the Twelve Steps taught me to become my own best friend, and then, when I was able to love myself, I could reach out and love others. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day It's been proved that we alcoholics can't get sober by our willpower. We've failed again and again. Therefore I believe there must be a Higher Power which helps me. I think of that power as the grace of God. And I pray to God every morning for the strength to stay sober today. I know that power is there because it never fails to help me. Do I believe that AA. works through the grace of God? Meditation For The Day Once I am "born of the spirit," that is my life's breath. Within me is the life of life, so that I can never perish. The life that down the ages has kept God's children through peril, adversity, and sorrow. I must try never to doubt or worry, but follow where the life of the spirit leads. How often, when little I know it, God goes before me to prepare the way, to soften a heart, or to overrule a resentment. As the life of the spirit grows, natural wants become less important. Prayer For The Day I pray that my life may become centered in God more than in self. I pray that my will may be directed toward doing His will. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Essence of Growth, p. 115 Let us never fear needed change. Certainly we have to discriminate between changes for better. But once a need becomes clearly apparent in an individual, in a group, or in A.A. as a whole, it has long since been found out that we cannot stand still and look the other way. The essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails. Grapevine, July 1965 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Do I trigger gossip? ______ Personal inventory. There is a saying that "listening to gossip is gossip". How true! If there were no listeners, there would never be any gossip. Some of us who pride ourselves in refraining from gossip may still have a problem with it. It's possible we still keep our ears open for any juicy gossip that could fall our way. We might also "shake the tree" if we believe another person has some gossip to share with us. This is done in seemingly innocent ways, sometimes just by mentioning the name of a person to another who may have strong opinions to express. The harm of gossip lies in what we do to ourselves when we engage in it. There is no way we can continue to have spiritual growth if we practice gossip, even as passive listeners. Spiritual growth takes place within us, and it needs an environment completely free of an ill will. Let's beware of any tendency to say things that induce others to gossip. At the same time, let's tune out gossip that seems to occur spontaneously. Gossip is the enemy of the growth we desire. It is a real relief to know that today I have no desire to spread gossip or listen to it. This includes things I might read in magazines or newspapers. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn.---David Russell Making big decisions is like crossing bridges. Sometimes, these decisions change our lives. We find that turning back will be very hard. This is why we have to be very careful when we decide to burn bridges. When we decide to make changes, we act carefully. We don't want to make decisions out of anger or envy. Instead , we can think about what we want and how our program can help us make wise decisions. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me cross those bridges that are on my path. Action for the Day: What do I really want in life? What decisions do I need to make to get there? ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning She knows omnipotence has heard her prayer and cries "it shall be done--sometime, somewhere." --Ophelia Guyon Browning Patience is a quality that frequently eludes us. We want what we want when we want it. Fortunately, we don't get it until the time is right, but the waiting convinces us our prayers aren't heard. We must believe that the answer always comes in its own special time and place. The frustration is that our timetable is seldom like God's. When we look back over the past few weeks, months, or even years, we can recall past prayers. Had they all been answered at the time of request, how different our lives would be. We are each on a path unique to us, offering special lessons to be learned. Just as a child must crawl before walking, so must we move slowly, taking the steps in our growth in sequence. Our prayers will be answered, sometime, somewhere. Of that we can be sure. They will be answered for our greater good. And they will be answered at the right time, the right place, in the right way. I am participating in a much bigger picture than the one in my individual prayers. And the big picture is being carefully orchestrated. I will trust the part I have been chosen to play. And I can be patient. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but when and how to give. That often makes the difference between failure and success. The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God. He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job—wife or no wife—we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God. p. 98 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short Dr. Bob led me through all of these steps. At the moral inventory, he brought up several of my bad personality traits or character defects, such as selfishness, conceit, jealousy, carelessness, intolerance, illtemper, sarcasm, and resentments. We went over these at great length, and then he finally asked me if I wanted these defects of character removed. When I said yes, we both knelt at his desk and prayed, each of us asking to have these defects taken away. p. 263 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." When A.A. was only three years old, an event occurred demonstrating this principle. One of the first members of A.A., entirely contrary to his own desires, was obliged to conform to group opinion. Here is the story in his words. "One day I was doing a Twelfth Step job at a hospital in New York. The proprietor, Charlie, summoned me to his office. `Bill,' he said, `I think it's a shame that you are financially so hard up. All around you these drunks are getting well and making money. But you're giving this work full time, and you're broke. It isn't fair.' Charlie fished in his desk and came up with and old financial statement. Handing it to me, he continued, `This shows the kind of money the hospital used to make back in the 1920's. Thousands of dollars a month. It should be doing just as well now, and it would - if only you'd help me. so why don't you move your work in here? I'll give you and office, a decent drawing account, and a very healthy slice of the profits. Three years ago, when my head doctor, Silkworth, began to tell me of the idea of helping drunks by spirituality, I thought it was crackpot stuff, but I've changed my mind. some day this bunch of ex-drunks of yours will fill Madison Square Garden, and I don't see why you should starve meanwhile. What I propose is perfectly ethical. You can become a lay therapist, and more successful than anybody in the business.' pp. 135-136 ************************************************** ********* "With the gift of listening comes the gift of healing." --Catherine de Hueck Doherty "Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power." --Shirley MacLaine Encourage your friends, family and co-workers to think positive. Their enthusiasm will boost you as well. --Anonymous Take a break. Move around. Learn to change your perspective. Maybe you don't need to change what you're looking at. You just need to change where you stand. --Melody Beattie One step at a time. That's how you will get where you are going. You are being led, each step of the way. --Melody Beattie Focus not on circumstances but on our loving and unchanging God. --Robert Truesdale ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation MAN "Man is what he believes. " --Anton Chekhov My miracle is that I now believe in me. Today I accept my disease of addiction and I do not resist or deny it. I believe that I am an alcoholic. I believe that I am an overeater. I am a co-dependent. I believe that I am an adult child of an alcoholic. And this belief enables me to be free. For too long I played the game of control; blaming and bargaining - and I lost. Now I choose to surrender to the reality of who I am. I accept my disease on a daily basis and I make choices with the awareness of my disease. And it is getting better. My belief about my addiction has also given me an insight into God and His gift of freedom. He loves me enough to give me choice and with this gift comes responsibility. I believe that I am responsible for how I live with my addictions. Today I accept that responsibility. What I believe reflects the God I believe in; I believe in Freedom. ************************************************** ********* "And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32 "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them." Matthew 18:20 "Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler, And from the perilous pestilence. He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler." Psalm 91:3-4 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration To allow past problems into your present moments can make you feel depressed, worried and overwhelmed. Lord, help me to let go of that which I can do nothing about so that I can take care of that which I can. If you would be ashamed to sign your name to your conversation, don't say it. Lord, my words can have far reaching effects. May the effect always be good. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Twelve Steps Of Life "Through abstinence and through working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous, our lives have become useful." Basic Text, p. 8 Before coming to Narcotics Anonymous, our lives were centered around using. For the most part, we had very little energy left over for jobs, relationships, or other activities. We served only our addiction. The Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous provide a simple way to turn our lives around. We start by staying clean, a day at a time. When our energy is no longer channeled into our addiction, we find that we have the energy to pursue other interests. As we grow in recovery, we become able to sustain healthy relationships. We become trustworthy employees. Hobbies and recreation seem more inviting. Through participation in Narcotics Anonymous, we help others. Narcotics Anonymous does not promise us that we will find good jobs, loving relationships, or a fulfilling life. But when we work the Twelve Steps to the best of our ability, we find that we can become the type of people who are capable of finding employment, sustaining loving relationships, and helping others. We stop serving our disease, and begin serving God and others. The Twelve Steps are the key to transforming our lives. Just for today: I will have the wisdom to use the Twelve Steps in my life, and the courage to grow in my recovery I will practice my program to become a responsible, productive member of society. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue, An everlasting vision of the everchanging view, A wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold, A tapestry to feel and see, impossible to hold. --Carole King Our lives are patchwork quilts of mismatched fabrics, all stitched together by an invisible seamstress. The tattered, blood-red scraps of quarrels, the beige of pastry crust baked on Saturdays in a grandmother's kitchen that always smelled sweet, the brilliant colors of our happy moments--picnics and sunsets and laughter--all these are necessary pieces of the tapestry of our lives, even our cold, white doubts and emptiness. All the colors of life sewn together with the green thread of growth. We are a mixture of feelings and experiences. Often, we want to cut away a square of painful memory. But without it, our quilt would lose its beauty, for contrast would disappear. If a piece is removed, the rest is weakened and incomplete. How well can I accept any pain I feel today as a part of my own beauty? You are reading from the book Touchstones. I shall tell you a great secret, my friend. Do not wait for the last judgment. It takes place every day. --Albert Camus We live our program in one-day portions - and our actions today have immediate consequences. For instance, if we listen to a brother or a sister in the program, we may be enriched and the other person strengthened for today's challenge. We don't have to confront every temptation of life on this day - only the portion we can handle. Our old insanity would have us predict the entire story of our future from today's limited viewpoint. But our spiritual orientation guides us to restrain ourselves. We simply live in this moment. The rewards of recovery are granted every day. We begin with the gift of a new day and new possibilities. We now have relationships that sustain us through difficulty and give us reason to celebrate. We have a new feeling of self-respect and hope. I am grateful for the rewards of each day in my spiritual awakening. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. She knows omnipotence has heard her prayer and cries "it shall be done--sometime, somewhere." --Ophelia Guyon Browning Patience is a quality that frequently eludes us. We want what we want when we want it. Fortunately, we don't get it until the time is right, but the waiting convinces us our prayers aren't heard. We must believe that the answer always comes in its own special time and place. The frustration is that our timetable is seldom like God's. When we look back over the past few weeks, months, or even years, we can recall past prayers. Had they all been answered at the time of request, how different our lives would be. We are each on a path unique to us, offering special lessons to be learned. Just as a child must crawl before walking, so must we move slowly, taking the steps in our growth in sequence. Our prayers will be answered, sometime, somewhere. Of that we can be sure. They will be answered for our greater good. And they will be answered at the right time, the right place, in the right way. I am participating in a much bigger picture than the one in my individual prayers. And the big picture is being carefully orchestrated. I will trust the part I have been chosen to play. And I can be patient. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Lessons on the Job Often, the spiritual and recovery lessons were learning at work reflect the lessons were learning in other areas of our life. Often, the systems were attracted to in our working life are similar to the systems in which we find ourselves living and loving. Those are the systems that reflect our issues and can help us learn our lessons. Are we slowly learning to trust ourselves at work? How about at home? Are we slowly learning to take care of ourselves at work? How about at home? Are we slowly learning boundaries and self-esteem, overcoming fear, and dealing with feelings? If we search back over our work history, we will probably see that it is a mirror of our issues, our growth. It most likely is now too. For today, we can believe that we are right where we need to be - at home and at work. Today, I will accept my present circumstances on the job. I will reflect on how what I am learning in my life applies to what Im learning at work. If I don't know, I will surrender to the experience until that becomes clear. God, help me accept the work I have been given to do today. Help me be open to and learn what I need to be learning. Help me trust that it can and will be good. Today I can set my goals with the clear and confident knowledge that I can only do one thing at a time and take one step at a time towards that goal. I do not need to wait until I reach the goal to be happy and satisfied. I am fulfilled with each step, knowing that is all I can do in each moment. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey To The Heart Change Your Perspective Sometimes a slight difference in where we stand can dramatically change how we see things. One morning, shortly after sunrise, I climbed to the top of a mesa in Sedona. I’d been there the day before, staring at the shapes and forms of the other mesas, and gazing down upon the city. Now this morning I sat in a different place to meditate and to look around. The spot where I sat this day was only a few feet from where I’d sat before, but the view looked entirely different. I saw different shapes and forms in the mesas. I saw a different view of the city, the world below. We often need to change our position so we can see things differently. We don’t have to make a dramatic change, we just need to move around a little. Perhaps an unresolved issue is blocking our vision, blocking us from seeing the beauty that’s there. Maybe a bit of anger or self-contempt is interfering with our vision. Maybe the changes we need to make are minor, much less than we thought. Maybe we simply need to look at whatever we are viewing without fear, to change our mood and see it with the eyes of love. Take a break. Move around. Learn to change your perspective. Maybe you don’t need to change what you’re looking at. You just need to change where you stand. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Put your intentions out there Be clear on what you want. If you’re starting a business, taking a new job, learning a new skill, or beginning a relationship, state clearly to yourself what you’re looking for. What level of performance are you hoping to reach? Stay realistic, but not pessimistic. What do you want? Be clear with the universe about what your intentions are. Be as specific as you can be. If you’re on the dating scene, what are you looking for? Some fun? A spouse? Be clear and specific about what you want. After you’ve focused and clarified your intentions, then let your intentions go. Sometimes in life we can’t get what we want. Other times, we can. And sometimes the journey to getting there is full of twists and turns, much more of an adventure than anything we could have planned. Besides, the clearer we can be about what we want, the easier it will be to recognize and enjoy it when it comes our way. God, help me be clear with you and myself about what I really want. Then, help me let go of my intentions and surrender to your plan. ****************************************** In God’s Care God creates out of nothing. Therefore until a man is nothing, God can make nothing out of him. ~~Martin Luther To bring our addictions under control, we had to surrrender them – and our willpower – to a higher authority. God relieves us of our compulsions as soon as we admit that we are powerless over them. But surrender doesn’t end there. If we wish to move beyond that point – to grow spiritually, to gain peace of mind – relinquishing our self-will must become habitual. We must give God a clean slate every hour, every day. When we think we have everything under control, we are in trouble. A Course In Miracles tells us, “Whenever you think you know, peace will depart from you, because you have abandoned the Teacher of peace.” Moreover, it is when we admit we do not know how to run our life that peace returns. We invite God back by turning a deaf ear to our selfish ego. I offer God a clean slate on which to write my life. ****************************************** Freeing Yourself Knowing When to Let Someone Go by Madisyn Taylor Knowing when to let somebody go and leave a relationship is a true act of self-love. Just as a good relationship can have a positive impact on your life, stressful, draining, or imbalanced relationships can have negative effects on your health and well-being. It’s common to maintain a relationship because we feel the other person needs us or we believe that they will eventually change. We may also be afraid of hurting the other person or feel insecure in our ability to find new relationships. But knowing when to end a relationship and acknowledging that the pain will pass can often prevent greater pain and feelings of loss in the long run. If you’re in a relationship that isn’t satisfying or one that has become unhealthy for you, rather than spending energy attempting to fix the problem or complaining, ask yourself what you really want from the relationship. Consider whether the other person truly considers your feelings or if they are willing to change their behavior. Ask yourself if you’ve often thought about ending the relationship or if you feel your bonds have atrophied. While every relationship has ups and downs, when there are more downs than ups or the two of you are bringing out the worst in each other, it may be time to sever the connection. Be honest with yourself and your answers, even if the truth is painful. Relationships thrive on honesty, communication, mutual caring, and time spent together. When one or more of these elements are missing, it may be that the relationship, no matter how passionate, simply isn’t worth it. It’s far better to end a relationship that doesn’t feel right than to hold on to it and languish in feelings of anger or resentment. Moving on without struggle, on the other hand, can be the door that leads you to a more nurturing relationship in the future. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We come to know in The Program that there is no deeper satisfaction and no greater joy than in a Twelfth Step well done. To watch the eyes of men and women open with wonder as they move from darkness to light, to see their lives quickly fill with new purpose and meaning, and above all to watch them awaken to the presence of a loving God in their lives — these things are the substance of what we receive as we carry the message of The Program. Am I learning through Twelfth Step experiences that gratitude should go forward, rather than backward? Today I Pray May my Twelfth Steps be a wholehearted and as convincing and as constructive as others’ Twelfth-Stepping has been to me. May I realize that the might of The Program and its effectiveness for all of us come through “passing it on.” When I guide someone else to sobriety, my own sobriety is underlined and reinforced. I humbly ask God’s guidance before each Twelfth Step. Today I Will Remember To pass it on. ****************************************** One More Day To struggle when hope is banished. To live when life’s salt is gone! To dwell in a dream that’s vanished – To endure, and go calmly on! – Ben Jonson At times we all dwell in the mansions created by our own dreams. When dream rooms are the only ones we visit, however, reality will jar us back to the present. We then have only two choices: to move forward or to live continually in the past. Just when it seems there is no future, that there is no chance to ever live a normal life again, a thread of hope surfaces, and we struggle onward. Recognition that we can — and are — still enduring gives rise to hope and helps us go calmly on. Dreams are sacred to me, but I must live in the present so I can survive day to day. ************************************ Food For Thought Hungry or Bored? When we ate compulsively, we often interpreted boredom to be hunger. When there seemed to be nothing else to do, we could always eat! Unstructured time may have made us anxious; we thought we could fill up with food and allay our anxieties. To be egotistical and self-centered is to be bored. If we are always the center of our awareness, we will soon tire of ourselves, since none of us is all that fascinating. In order to escape boredom, we need to turn our attention outward and focus on something besides self. When we give our lives to our Higher Power, we are making a commitment of service. We are asking that His will be done and that He use us as He sees fit. By relieving us of our obsession, God frees us from slavery to our appetites. If we are to remain free, we need to serve Him instead of ourselves. Day by day, He shows us our tasks and as we become absorbed in them, we lose our boredom along with our false hunger. May I know the true nourishment of doing Your will. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ Loneliness ~ Feeling our loneliness magnifies it. Understanding our loneliness can open doors into our self-awareness, which we long for and need. Anthony Robbins Before I found my Twelve Step program, I felt so lonely. I was stuck in total isolation and the feeling of loneliness felt one hundred times worse. The isolation and loneliness caused me to continually eat ... and so I'd isolate more. What a vicious cycle! When I found my recovery program, I still wanted to isolate. When going to meetings, I wanted the seat with nobody around it. I didn't want to open my mouth to share or talk, even after the meeting. I kept coming back even though I felt alone, because I heard familiar things that really interested me. I eventually saw that most of the people in the room felt the same loneliness I did. I began to understand why I felt so lonely. When I understood that my compulsive eating was causing me to isolate and be more lonely, a big burden was lifted off my shoulders. I finally felt some hope! Then I found that there were many other doors in the past that I should open and become more aware of. These past happenings were what started and fueled this disease of compulsive eating. I wanted to know but I was also afraid to find out. The similarities, kindness and love I found in the rooms made it easier to look at my past. Understanding that I was not the total reason for my loneliness, I began making amends. I needed to forgive others who had harmed me and those I had harmed. I felt lighter and more self aware, and confidence began to emerge. One Day at a Time . . . I will remember that it's okay and good to feel my feelings but they don't have to rule my life. I don't have to let loneliness magnify, causing me to eat uncontrollably to solve the problem. I've learned to turn things over to my Higher Power and to let them go. Looking back is the key to my self-awareness and my recovery. ~ Jeanette ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Nearly every modern employer feels a moral responsibility for the well-being of his help, and he tries to meet these responsibilities. That he has not always done so for the alcoholic is easily understood. To him the alcoholic has often seemed a fool of the first magnitude. Because of the employee's special ability, or of his own strong personal attachment to him, the employer has sometimes kept such a man at work long beyond a reasonable period. Some employers have tried every known remedy. In only a few instances has there been a lack of patience and tolerance. And we, who have imposed on the best of employers, can scarcely blame them if they have been short with us. - Pgs. 137-138 - To Employers Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Irrational actions and comments made in stress-filled moments can keep you awake at night. If you have said or done something unkind or irrational yesterday or today, you can resolve the situation by making amends as soon as you get off this computer. I forgive myself for whatever irrational and unkind thing I may have done. I do this by making amends to whomever I have hurt and I do it promptly. The Power is in the Now I recognize that the present is alive and vibrant and creative. All of the creative power of this alive and radiant universe is in the present, in the here and now. If I align myself with the present, if I allow myself to fully experience this moment, I will find all I need in it. There is magic in this moment, there is beauty and vibrancy in it that resonates throughout my life. What I experience now, creates my future. There is nothing like the present - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Recovery is not the absence of conflict but the ability to cope with it. My recovery comes from new daily habits I form in seconds, minutes, and hours of simple Twelve-Step living. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Pray like you mean it. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am practicing looking at all beings with the eyes of compassion. Not only do I feel good when I come from a place of love and understanding, I also feel useful and connected. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I'm just grateful for a door that opens from both sides. - Sailor Bill.
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04-18-2021, 11:13 AM | #25 |
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April 25
Daily Reflections ENTERING A NEW DIMENSION In the late stages of our drinking, the will to resist has fled. Yet when we admit complete defeat and when we become entirely ready to try A.A. principles, our obsession leaves us and we enter a new dimension - freedom under God as we understand Him. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 283 I am fortunate to be among the ones who have had this awesome transformation in my life. When I entered the doors of A.A., alone and desperate, I had been beaten into willingness to believe anything I heard. One of the things I heard was, "This could be your last hangover, or you can keep going round and round." The man who said this obviously was a whole lot better off than I. I liked the idea of admitting defeat and I have been free ever since! My heart heard what my mind never could: "Being powerless over alcohol is no big deal." I'm free and I'm grateful! ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day I don't believe that A.A. works because I read it in a book or because I hear people say so. I believe it because I see people getting sober and staying sober. An actual demonstration is what convinces me. When I see the change in people, I can't help believing that A.A. works. We could listen to talk about A.A. all day and still not believe it, but when we see it work, we have to believe it. Seeing is believing. Do I see A.A. work every day? Meditation For The Day Try saying "God bless her (or him)" of anyone who is in disharmony with you. Also say it of those who are in trouble through their own fault. Say it, willing that showers of blessings may fall upon them. Let God do the blessing. Leave to God the necessary correcting or disciplining. You should only desire blessing for them. Leave God's work to God. Occupy yourself with the task that He gives you to do. God's blessing will also break down all your own difficulties and build up all your successes. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may use God's goodness so that it will be a blessing to others. I pray that I may accept God's blessing so that I will have harmony, beauty, joy, and happiness. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Each Man's Vision, p. 116 "Beyond a Higher Power, as each of us may vision Him, A.A. must never, as a society, enter the field of dogma or theology. We can never become a religion in that sense, lest we kill our usefulness by getting bogged down in the theological contention." << << << >> >> >> "The really amazing fact about A.A. is that all religions see in our program a resemblance to themselves. For example, Catholic theologians declare our Twelve Steps to be in exact accord with their Ignatian Exercises for Retreat, and, though our book reeks of sin, sickness, and death, the Christian Science Monitor has often praised it editorially. "Now, looking through Quaker eyes, you, too, see us favorably. What happy circumstances, these!" 1. Letter, 1954 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Fixing needs____ Inventory. AA pioneers once thought of their work as "fixing" drunks. That was dropped in AA, but "getting a fix" survives in the drug culture The truth is, we can't fix anybody, nor can we fix any problem with a destructive, mood altering drug. What we're really seeking … what every compulsive person really seeks…. Is to fix the conflicting needs that tear us apart at the seams. We can fix many of those needs over time if we practice Twelve step principles. "That searching and fearless moral inventory", humbling though it may be, will expose the fierce drives that are consuming us. Sharing the truth about ourselves with others helps us understand both what is right and what is wrong in our lives. The power to change ourselves, when we desire it, comes from a Higher Power… God as we understand Him. Somebody has summed this process up this way: "Need a fix? Fix the need!" We can use that idea to fix our needs today by following the Twelve step program. At times, we may not even by completely aware of our real needs. This too will be revealed to us as we continue in this program. I'll start my day by affirming that there's no need that can cause me to do anything destructive. As any problem arises, I learn how to fix my needs in healthy ways. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple You're never to old to grow up.---Shirley Conran Some of us have spent many years trying not to grow up. As children, we watched the adults around us. They may not have seemed happy. "Is life all hard work for grown-ups?" we wondered. No, it's not hard work. There are lots of good things about growing up. We can take charge of our life. We can learn to take care of ourselves. We can learn to share feelings with good friends. We can make our world safe enough for us to express feelings again. We learn how to love others. We do have choices. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me grow up into a happy, grateful adult. Action for the Day: There are happy grown-ups. I'll find one to be my sponsor. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content. --Helen Keller There is wonder in the moment, if we but look for it, let it touch us, believe in it. And with the recognition and celebration of the wonder comes the joy we desire and await. Being wholly in tune with the present moment is how we'll come to know the spiritual essence that connects all of life. We search for peace, happiness, and contentment outside of ourselves. We need instead to discover it within us, now and always, in whatever we are experiencing. We can let our experiences wash over us. Longing for a different time, a distant place, a new situation breeds discontent. It prevents us from the thrill, the gifts offered in this present moment. But they are there. We can practice feeling joyful in the present, be thrilled with the realization that right now, all is well. All is always well. Life is full of mystery and wonder and each moment of our awareness adds to the wonder. I am moving forward; we all are. I am on target. I am participating in a glorious, wonderful drama. Let me jump for joy. I have been specially blessed. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house. p. 98 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short This picture is still vivid. If I live to be a hnudred, it will always stand out in my mind. It was very impressive, and I wish that every A.A. could have the benefit of this type of sponsorship today. Dr. Bob always emphasized the religious angle very strongly, and I think it helped. I know it helped me. Dr. Bob then led me through the restitution step, in which I made a list of all the persons I had harmed and worked out the ways and the means of slowly making restitution. p. 263 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Three - "The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking." A member gives us a vivid glimpse of those days. "At one time," he says, "every A.A. group had many membership rules. Everybody was scared witless that something or somebody would capsize the boat and dump us all back into the drink. Our Foundation office* asked each group to send in its list of `protective' regulations. The total list was a mile long. If all those rules had been in effect everywhere, nobody could have possibly joined A.A. at all, so great was the sum of our anxiety and fear. pp. 139-140 *In 1954, The name of the Alcoholic Foundation, Inc. was changed to the General Service Board of Alcoholics Anonymous, Inc. and the Foundation office is now the General Service Office. ************************************************** ********* God, when I am faced with a tough decision, help me be gentle with myself and others as I sort out, with your help, what's right for me. --Melody Beattie Every moment is an opportunity for Love. Where there is hatred, may we bring Love. Where there is prejudice and injustice, may we bring Love. Where there is insecurity and small-mindedness, may we bring Love. Where there is fear in any form, may we bring the illuminating Light of Love. We do not open our hearts 'when'; we open them 'in spite of.' God grants us the opportunity and power to transform every negativity into everlasting love. --Mary Manin Morrissey "Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light." --Anonymous ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation IMPERFECTION "In the country of the blind the one eyed king can still goof up." --Anonymous For years I tried to control everything and everybody. Things had their place; there was a correct code of behavior for doing things; everything had to have its place. I felt responsible for the universe and everybody in it. Today I can laugh at my mistakes and the mistakes of others. When I catch myself organizing the world, I remember where the "perfect" yesterdays got me - and I laugh. God made me with a navel and flat feet; I would have preferred something different but there is a loving message within my imperfections. It is okay to goof up! Today I relax in the humor of being human. Thank You for making me an angel in the dirt. ************************************************** ********* "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14 "Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you." Matthew 25:34 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration To allow past problems into your present moments can make you feel depressed, worried and overwhelmed. Lord, help me to let go of that which I can do nothing about so that I can take care of that which I can. Take care of yourself so that you may give care to others. Lord, may I never totally ignore myself and my feelings for the sake of others and fit in time daily to refresh my spirit. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Embracing Reality "Recovery is a reality for us today" Basic Text, p. 97 Pain and misery were realities in our using lives. We were unwilling either to accept our living situation or to change what was unacceptable in our lives. We attempted to escape life's pain by taking drugs, but using only compounded our troubles. Our altered sense of reality became a nightmare. Through living the program of Narcotics Anonymous, we learn that our dreams can replace our nightmares. We grow and change. We acquire the freedom of choice. We are able to give and receive love. We can share honestly about ourselves, no longer magnifying or minimizing the truth. We accept the challenges real life offers us, facing them in a mature, responsible way. Although recovery does not give us immunity from the realities of life, in the NA Fellowship we can find the support, genuine care, and concern we need to face those realities. We need never hide from reality by using drugs again, for our unity with other recovering addicts gives us strength. Today the support, the care, and the empathy of recovery give us a clean, clear window through which to view, experience, and appreciate reality as it is. Just for today: A gift of my recovery is living and enjoying life as it truly is. Today, I will embrace reality. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Unused capacities atrophy, cease to be. --Tillie Olsen Those of us who have suffered a broken bone and had to put up with a cast for several weeks know how hard it is to use muscles that have been inactive for so long. They have gotten weak from lack of use, and we have to begin to develop our strength all over again. The same thing happens if we don't use our other capacities. If we don't constantly use our minds to think and learn, we become dull people, almost incapable of new thoughts and insights. If we don't use our hearts to love, we become uncaring and insensitive--much like Scrooge in A Christmas Carol. If we don't use our creative talents--to draw or write or sew, or whatever it is we're into--we lose the ability to do those things. On the other hand, like our muscles, our other capacities can be strengthened and developed by daily use. We exercise our hearts by being kind and loving, our minds by thinking, our imaginations by being creative. In this way, we become spiritually powerful, a force for good in the world. How can I exercise my assets today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The natural world is a spiritual house.... Man walks there through forests of physical things that are also spiritual things that watch him with affectionate looks. --Charles Baudelaire As we live this program, we learn to see the spiritual in physical things. Whatever we see or hear, whatever happens in our lives may carry a spiritual message. Some of us will say, "God is telling me something." Others, whose understanding of God takes another form, will say, "There is a spiritual message in this if I can read it." But many men, having had relationships that were abusive and painful, find it hard to imagine the spirit of things watching them with affection, and not hostility. Many of us have been used, and we have used others. We don't expect affectionate relationships, but could it be that the spiritual world loves us and we don't know it? Perhaps if we think about this for a while, we also will become more loving. The generosity of God is expressed in all kinds of physical things. I will remember that the spiritual is affectionate toward me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content. --Helen Keller There is wonder in the moment, if we but look for it, let it touch us, believe in it. And with the recognition and celebration of the wonder comes the joy we desire and await. Being wholly in tune with the present moment is how we'll come to know the spiritual essence that connects all of life. We search for peace, happiness, and contentment outside of ourselves. We need instead to discover it within us, now and always, in whatever we are experiencing. We can let our experiences wash over us. Longing for a different time, a distant place, a new situation breeds discontent. It prevents us from the thrill, the gifts offered in this present moment. But they are there. We can practice feeling joyful in the present, be thrilled with the realization that right now, all is well. All is always well. Life is full of mystery and wonder and each moment of our awareness adds to the wonder. I am moving forward; we all are. I am on target. I am participating in a glorious, wonderful drama. Let me jump for joy. I have been specially blessed. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Finding Our Own Truth We must each discover our own truth. It does not help us if those we love find their truth. They cannot give it to us. It does not help if someone we love knows a particular truth in our life. We must discover our truth for ourselves. We must each discover and stand in our own light. We often need to struggle, fail, and be confused and frustrated. That's how we break through our struggle; that's how we learn what is true and right for ourselves. We can share information with others. Others can tell us what may predictably happen if we pursue a particular course. But it will not mean anything until we integrate the message and it becomes our truth, our discovery, our knowledge. There is no easy way to break through and find our truth. But we can and will, if we want to. We may want to make it easier. We may nervously run to friends, asking them to give us their truth or make our discovery easier. They cannot. Light will shed itself in its own time. Each of us has our own share of truth, waiting to reveal itself to us. Each of us has our own share of the light, waiting for us to stand in it, to claim it as ours. Encouragement helps. Support helps. A firm belief that each person has truth available - appropriate to each situation - is what will help. Each experience, each frustration, each situation, has its own truth waiting to be revealed. Don't give up until you find it - for yourself. We shall be guided into truth, if we are seeking it. We are not alone. Today, I will search for my own truth, and I will allow others to do the same. I will place value on my vision and the vision of others. We are each on the journey, making our own discoveries - the ones that are right for us today. Today I am practicing looking at all beings with the eyes of compassion. Not only do I feel good when I come from a place of love and understanding, I also feel useful and connected. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey To The Heart Connect with Peace Om ah hum varja guru padma siddi hum. Om mani padme hum. –A Buddhist Chant Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary. Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen. – A Catholic Petition God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. –A Non denominational Prayer People have many ways of seeking and finding peace. Mantras– chants and prayers that align the mind with peaceful thoughts, with the river of peace that runs through our universe– are one way of returning to our center. Do you have a favorite prayer, a religious chant, or a saying that helps you? That puts you back on track? That takes you mind to that place of peace within your soul? Value the mantras that touch and heal your mind, the sounds and thoughts that align you with peace. Find and value the words and prayers of your religion, the thoughts that work for you, that connect you to your center. These will help you discover your connection with the universe, the flow of life, the certainty that all is well. You and your life are on track. Know you’ll be given all the guidance and grace you need. Find rituals that help you believe that peace is yours, rituals that connect you to the Divine in the universe. Ask for peace. Ask in a way that works for you. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Be as clear as possible Marcia doesn’t like to hurt other people’s feelings. So when she doesn’t want to date or see someone anymore, she doesn’t tell them that. She lies. But she calls it “being nice.” She either sets up some dramatic scene that justifies her getting mad and breaking up, or she gives them an excuse that leaves them hanging. Let go of the drama. Tie up loose ends. If you know where you’re at with someone, you can be diplomatic, but be as clear as you can be. Be clear with yourself,too. Watch the behavior of other people. Are they making excuses to you why they can’t be with you? Are you making excuses about why they don’t call? Some of us wait a long time for someone who’s not even thinking about us. Stop telling others what they want to hear, when that’s not the truth. Stop telling yourself what you want to hear, when what you’re telling yourself isn’t true, either. Don’t leave other people hanging. Don’t put yourself on hold. Be as clear as you can be, with other people and with yourself. It’s ths compassionate thing to do. God, help me know that I don’t have to create dramas to get what I want. Help me live my life from a place of centered, diplomatic honesty, even when that means I need to tell people something they’d rather not hear. ****************************************** In God’s Care When we spiritually awaken, our whole life changes from being hard and painful to becoming easier and happier, more pleasant and pain-free. ~~Jerry Hirshfield Most of us awaken spiritually very slowly. Looking back on our more dangerous times and our miraculous survival helps us to believe that at least something like a guardian angel must have never been far away. And yet, much of the time many of us still struggle with the day-to-day turmoil of our recovery, trying to manage outcomes that are not ours to manage. We complicate most events by our need to control what is clearly up to God to control. When we let go the outcome is generally to our satisfaction. Always, in time, we see that the outcome benefits us generously. We can’t do what belongs to God to do. Our job is simply to move aside. The pain of forcing open a door or pushing through a decision can be relinquished forever if we simply trust God. Life is often only as hard and painful as we in our self-centeredness make it. I will not try to do God’s work today. ****************************************** Shifting with the Tide Energetic Motion by Madisyn Taylor With each moment, we are given opportunities to create change using nothing more than our awareness. Since our lives are constantly in motion energetically, change is a constant element of our existence. As dynamic as that energy is, it is not random or haphazard in nature—the shifts in energy that are constantly taking place are the result of our choices. The formulation of intention, a change in perspective, or the creation of a goal can transform our lives in blink of an eye. We think positive thoughts and the world becomes a brighter place. Or we decide who we want to be and become that person. With each passing moment, we are given innumerable opportunities to create change using nothing more than our awareness. In the span of a single second, our lives can change immeasurably because energy moves at a pace more rapid than anything we can consciously fathom. Though we may not at first be sensitive to the vibrational shifts taking place, our choices are ultimately at the heart of these transformations. We can typically recognize the consequences of key decisions because we anticipated the resultant energetic shifts. But many, if not most, of the choices we make each day are a product of instantaneous reactions, and these still have a significant impact on the energy of our existence. It is for this reason that we should learn to wield what control we can over these shifts. If we bear in mind that all we think and all we do will shape the existence we know, we can deliberately direct the energetic motion of our lives. Each day, you make an infinite array of decisions that cause energy shifts in the world around you. In many cases, these transitions are almost imperceptible, while in others the change that takes place is palpable not only to you but also to those in your sphere of influence. Your awareness of the immediate energetic consequences of your thoughts and actions can guide you as you endeavor to make the most of the autonomy that defines you as an individual. The myriad choices you make from moment to moment, however inconsequential they may seem, represent your personal power, which sanctions you to transform the energetic tide of your existence with nothing more than your will. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I have much more to be grateful for than I realize. Too often, I don’t remember to give thought to all the things in my life that I could enjoy and appreciate. Perhaps I don’t take time for this important meditation because I’m too preoccupied with my own so-called woes. I allow my mind to overflow with grievances; the more I think about them, the more monumental they seem. Instead of surrendering to God and His goodness, I let myself be controlled by the negative thinking into which my thoughts are apt to stray unless I guide them firmly into brighter paths. Do I try to cultivate an “attitude of gratitude?” Today I Pray May god lead me away from my pile-up of negative thoughts, which make for detours in my path of personal growth. May I break the old poor-me habits of remembering the worst and expecting the most dire. May I turn my thoughts ahead to a whole new world out there. May I allow myself to envision the glory of God. Today I Will Remember Keep an attitude of gratitude. ****************************************** One More Day Every tub must stand on its own bottom. – Thomas Fuller As we accomplish each goal in our lives, we feel a tremendous sense of pride. Whether from success at the job, in school, or in a volunteer capacity, achieving a goal is personally gratifying. The challenge that chronic illness presents is to reorganize our goals so they are still practical and attainable. If we spend our time complaining rather than changing, we may never fear to live successfully with the illness. It’s not going to go away. Things will never be the same as before. Accepting this fact is a colossal challenge. My faith in myself has waned with the onset of my illness. I am just realizing that I can still depend upon myself. ************************************ Food For Thought Forgetting Food Abstinence enables us to stop being preoccupied with food. We decide that we will have three meals a day with nothing in between, and we have a definite plan for those meals. Whenever cravings or thoughts of food begin to distract us, we put them out of our mind. We remember that food has proved to be a false friend, and we no longer permit it to control our life. Through OA, we have found new interests and activities. We have friends to call when we are lonely or upset. When we are feeling shaky, we can go to a meeting. Perhaps our new energies have led to involvement in community activities, new jobs, hobbies and projects. Each of us faces a certain amount of sluggishness and inertia when we decide to get involved in something new. It is easier to stay in the same old rut, since we often fear what is untried and unknown. Let us not permit apathy or anxiety to weaken our resolution. Escape into food and overeating is no longer an option. Keep my thoughts on the new possibilities, which You have opened for me. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ Understanding ~ Understanding is the wellspring of life. The Bible, Book of Proverbs Early on in my recovery I became aware that understanding myself and my disease was going to be a tool of success. For many years I lived day after day in my addiction, bemoaning it, suffering in it, struggling against it, and adopting the world view of my condition. I came to believe that losing weight was the answer to all my problems ... if I could stick to a diet. Because I couldn't, the thoughts of worthlessness, ignorance, shame and guilt were repeatedly reinforced. In working the Steps, the idea of recovery through understanding myself was born. Through knowledge of my Higher Power, and by His guidance, the understanding of my past and my present have given me keys to freedom from compulsive overeating. I welcome working the Steps because they have opened doors of my heart to mend the past and receive hope for the future. Understanding who I am and why I'm like I am, allows me to be abstinent and to develop new ways of coping with the stresses of life. Understanding the disease frees me from guilt and shame and releases self-acceptance. One Day at a Time . . . I continue to seek knowledge and understanding as a way to recovery. ~ Diane ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Now we try to put spiritual principles to work in every department of our lives. When we do that, we find it solves our problems too; the ensuing lack of fear, worry and hurt feelings is a wonderful thing. - Pgs. 116-117 - To Wives Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Get a sponsor, get a program, get into service, get a Higher Power in your life, pray every day, go to 90 meetings in 90 days, work the steps or die. Get a life. Wake up and smell the recovery. When I am tempted to think these clean and sober people at meetings are full of ****, let me remember that they're full of clean and sober **** and I'd do well to listen. Appreciating Life I have the gift of life. I am here. I am alive, with all of my senses and able to experience the magic of this incredible world. Whatever this day has in store for me, I am open to receive. I will act on my day and allow my day to act on me. I am open. I will take steps that I know will make my day feel good, productive and pleasurable, and then I will let the rest happen. Each day presents me with gifts and surprises, if I know how to unwrap the present, if I remember how to be astonished or pleased. Life itself is the gift. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Sobriety often brings us effects we never expected, like becoming the person we used to resent! I used to resent people whose standards I could not live up to. Now, by the Grace of God, I am one! "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Respect the anonymity of others. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Positive energy attracts positive energy. Today my Higher Power continues to guide my growth so that I am more and more open. I am becoming free and unblocked and am attracting all that is good and right in my life. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I couldn't handle the grog - and I was no longer my own boss. - Koori 1st Step. Australia.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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04-18-2021, 11:14 AM | #26 |
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April 26
Daily Reflections HAPPINESS IS NOT THE POINT I don't think happiness or unhappiness is the point. How do we meet the problems we face? How do we best learn from them and transmit what we have learned to others, if they would receive the knowledge? AS BILL SEES IT, p. 306 In my search "to be happy," I changed jobs, married and divorced, took geographical cures, and ran myself into debt--financially, emotionally and spiritually. In A.A., I'm learning to grow up. Instead of demanding that people, places and things make me happy, I can ask God for self-acceptance. When a problem overwhelms me, A.A.'s Twelve Steps will help me grow through the pain. The knowledge I gain can be a gift to others who suffer with the same problem. As Bill said, "When pain comes, we are expected to learn from it willingly, and help others to learn. When happiness comes, we accept it as a gift, and thank God for it." (As Bill Sees It, p. 306) ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The A.A. program is one of submission, release, and action. When we're drinking, we're submitting to a power greater than ourselves, liquor. Our own wills are no use against the power of liquor. One drink and we're sunk. In A.A. we stop submitting to the power of liquor. Instead, we submit to a Power, also greater than ourselves, which we call God. Have I submitted myself to that Higher Power? Meditation For The Day Ceaseless activity is not God's plan for your life. Times of withdrawal for renewed strength are always necessary. Wait for the faintest tremor of fear and stop all work, everything, and rest before God until you are strong again. Deal in the same way with all tired feelings. Then you need rest of body and renewal of spirit force. Saint Paul said: "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." This does not mean that you are to do all things and then rely on God to find strength. it means that you are to do the things you believe God wants you to do and only then can you rely on His supply of power. Prayer For The Day I pray that God's spirit may be my master always. I pray that I may learn how to rest and listen, as well as how to work. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It The Sense of Belonging, p. 117 Perhaps one of the greatest rewards of meditation and prayer is the sense of belonging that comes to us. We no longer live in a completely hostile world. We are no longer lost and frightened and purposeless. The moment we catch even a glimpse of God's will, the moment we begin to see truth, justice, and love as the real and eternal things in life, we are no longer deeply disturbed by all the seeming evidence to the contrary that surrounds us in purely human affairs. We know that God lovingly watches over us. We know that when we turn to Him, all will be well with us, here and hereafter. 12 & 12, p. 105 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Never withholding ourselves. Living Sober. We may have let ourselves believe that we're supposed to display an attitude that expresses our opinions of others. If a person is crude and boorish, we should be cool and defensive for our self-protection. If a person is warm and friendly, we should respond in warm and friendly ways. If we have believed these things, then we're actually letting others control our attitudes and behavior. We are letting personalities interfere with the high principles we are learning in AA. We are not living at the best possible level. In reality, we should always display an attitude that reflects kindness, optimism, friendliness, and concern. There other person's disposition, whether it's sour or sweet, should have nothing to do with our being what we want to be. We should never withhold the fine inner qualities that develop and grow as we continue to live the program. In time, we begin to learn that this attitude always comes back to us in the form of greater peace and happiness. And what's great about iti s that it's always under our direct control. As I go about my business today, I will express a kindliness and concern toward everybody. Nobody's behavior can make me adopt a suspicious or defensive attitude. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Too many people miss the silver lining because they're expecting gold.---Maurice Setter Silver shines as bright as gold does. So often we forget this. So often we push, push, push. We forget to live for the moment. Trying too hard can be a defect of character. It can be a way we avoid life. Gratitude, being thankful, is key part of recovery. Not just gratitude for getting our self-respect back. Not just gratitude for having a Higher Power. But gratitude for the moment. We're alive again. Let's see each moment as a time to explore life.. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thanks for helping me to enjoy each moment. I have gratitude for being alive. Action for the Day: I'll list ten gifts of recovery for which I have gratitude. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning . . . pain is the root of knowledge. --Simone Weil We don't want pain in our lives. We dread the situations we anticipate will be painful. We probably even pray to be spared all painful experiences. But they come anyway, at times in profusion. And we not only survive the pain, we profit from it. It seems that pain stretches us to our limits, generally forcing us to look for guidance from others, and it pushes us to consider new choices in our present situation. Pain is our common denominator as women, as members of the human family. It softens us to one another. It fosters empathy. It helps us to reach out and realize our need for one another. New knowledge, new awareness, are additional benefits of accepting, rather than denying, the pain that accompanies life. This journey that we're on is moving us further and further along the path of enlightenment. We can consider that each problem, each crisis, is our necessary preparation for moving another step down the road. I learn out of necessity. And when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Now, the domestic problem: There may be divorce, separation, or just strained relations. When your prospect has made such reparation as he can to his family, and has thoroughly explained to them the new principles by which he is living, he should proceed to put those principles into action at home. That is, if he is lucky enough to have a home. Though his family be at fault in many respects, he should not be concerned about that. He should concentrate on his own spiritual demonstration. Argument and fault-finding are to be avoided like the plague. In many homes this is a difficult thing to do, but it must be done if any results are to be expected. If persisted in for a few months, the effect on a man’s family is sure to be great. The most incompatible people discover they have a basis upon which they can meet. Little by little the family may see their own defects and admit them. These can then be discussed in an atmosphere of helpfulness and friendliness. pp. 98-99 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short I made several decisions at that time. One of them was that I would try to get a group started in Chicago; the second was that I would have to return to Akron to attend meetings at least every two months until I did get a group started in Chicago: third, I decided I must place this program above everything else, even my family, because if I did not maintain my sobriety, I would lose my family anyway. If I did not maintain my sobriety, I would not have a job. If I did not maintain my sobriety, I would have no friends left. I had few enough at that time. pp. 263-264 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Three - "The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking." "We were resolved to admit nobody to A.A. but that hypothetical class of people we termed `pure alcoholics.' Except for their guzzling, and the unfortunate results thereof, they could have no other complications. So beggars, tramps, asylum inmates, prisoners, queers, plain crackpots, and fallen women were definitely out. Yes sir, we'd cater only to pure and respectable alcoholics! Any others would surely destroy us. Besides, if we took in those odd ones, what would decent people say about us? We built a fine-mesh fence right around A.A. "Maybe this sounds comical now. Maybe you think we oldtimers were pretty intolerant. But I can tell you there was nothing funny about the situation then. We were grim because we felt our lives and homes were threatened, and that was no laughing matter. Intolerant, you say? Well, we were frightened. Naturally, we began to act like most everybody does when afraid. After all, isn't fear the true basis of intolerance? Yes, we were intolerant." p. 140 ************************************************** ********* Children are our most valuable natural resource. --Herbert Hoover "Forgiving those who hurt us is the key to personal peace." --G. Weatherly "Being happy does not mean everything's perfect, It means I've decided to see beyond the imperfections." --Unknown "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." --Carl Bard Spending time with God changes the rhythm of our life. --Cheryle L. Cooper ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation ANSWERS "If the work of God could be comprehended by reason, it would be no longer wonderful, and faith would have no merit if reason provided proof." --Pope Gregory I Some things happen that I do not understand or comprehend, but I have faith that they will happen tomorrow: sunsets, night following day, the song of the bird, the colors of nature, and the joy and adventure of being alive. Perhaps the biggest mystery for mankind to grapple with is love - a man will suffer, endure persecution, even be put to death for that which he loves; the pain and sorrow of love is mingled into what it is to be a human being. Reason does not have the answer to life. Faith is the medication for our existence. We have a belief in tomorrow because of what we have experienced today. If I can say "no" to alcohol today then I can do it tomorrow - if I really want to. Lord, let me not seek for proof but daily seek to grapple with the problems of life. ************************************************** ********* "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." James 4:10 "Then Jesus told him, 'Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." John 20:29 "Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration There are truly no bad days, just different kinds of days. Lord, thank You for today and for Your help through every situation. Use your difficult times to learn more about God's love and blessings. Lord, may I see Your hand working in every moment of my life and realize that, even in my darkest hour, things are far better than they could be because You are blessing me with what I need to make it through. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Self-Acceptance "The most effective means of achieving self-acceptance is through applying the Twelve Steps of recovery." IP No. 19, "Self-Acceptance" Most of us came to Narcotics Anonymous without much self-acceptance. We looked at the havoc we had wreaked in our active addiction, and we loathed ourselves. We had difficulty accepting our past and the self-image produced by it. Self-acceptance comes more quickly when we first accept that we have a disease called addiction, because it's easier to accept ourselves as sick people than as bad people. And the easier it is to accept ourselves, the easier it becomes to accept responsibility for ourselves. We achieve self-acceptance through the process of ongoing recovery. Working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous teaches us to accept ourselves and our lives. Spiritual principles like surrender, honesty, faith, and humility help relieve us of the burden of our past mistakes. Our attitude changes with the application of these principles in our daily lives. Self-acceptance grows as we grow in recovery. Just for today: Self-acceptance is a process set in motion by the Twelve Steps. Today, I will trust the process, practice the steps, and learn to better accept myself. pg. 120 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. "The horror of that moment," the King went on, "I shall never forget." "You will, though," the Queen said, "if you don't make a memorandum of it." --Lewis Carroll Crises come in many forms. When we are in the middle of any kind of crisis, we may feel like we have fallen into a deep hole. We may see no way out, and begin to feel hopeless and overwhelmed by the size and darkness of the hole. Yet we are not alone. An animal caught in a hole would cry out until someone came along and helped it out. We, too, can call out for help--to our Higher Power and to the important people in our lives. We can learn to trust that, with the help of our friends and our Higher Power, we will be able to crawl out of our holes. With trust, we will climb out of our crises and be healed with the passage of time. Such holes are a part of our landscape, yet every time we will be able to climb out and walk, leaving the darkness behind us. What help can I ask for today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. I drink not from mere joy in wine nor to scoff at faith - no, only to forget myself for a moment, that only do I want of intoxication, that alone. --Omar Khayyam What has been our drug of choice? It may be alcohol. It may be sugar or gambling or dependent relationships. Some men have used anger, sex, sports, or the accumulation of money. Growing in this program, we learn there is a great brotherhood among us. Our problems have not been only with a certain substance or a given behavior. We have been seduced and trapped by a ritual of forgetting ourselves. If we hadn't found one way, we may have found another. In giving one up, we often found ourselves drawn to a new substitute. Now we are learning to accept ourselves and to forget ourselves in healthier ways. We all need to move beyond the bounds of an oppressive ego. In our old style, we could not learn healthy releases because we were hooked on unhealthy ones. Now we are learning meditation, making friends, helping others, and letting go as ways to forget ourselves. I pray for help today in staying away from self-destructive intoxications so I am able to learn healthy releases. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. . . . pain is the root of knowledge. --Simone Weil We don't want pain in our lives. We dread the situations we anticipate will be painful. We probably even pray to be spared all painful experiences. But they come anyway, at times in profusion. And we not only survive the pain, we profit from it. It seems that pain stretches us to our limits, generally forcing us to look for guidance from others, and it pushes us to consider new choices in our present situation. Pain is our common denominator as women, as members of the human family. It softens us to one another. It fosters empathy. It helps us to reach out and realize our need for one another. New knowledge, new awareness, are additional benefits of accepting, rather than denying, the pain that accompanies life. This journey that we're on is moving us further and further along the path of enlightenment. We can consider that each problem, each crisis, is our necessary preparation for moving another step down the road. I learn out of necessity. And when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Negativity Some people are carriers of negativity. They are storehouses of pent up anger and volatile emotions. Some remain trapped in the victim role and act in ways that further their victimization. And others are still caught in the cycle of addictive or compulsive patterns. Negative energy can have a powerful pull on us, especially if were struggling to maintain positive energy and balance. It may seem that others who exude negative energy would like to pull us into the darkness with them. We do not have to go. Without judgment, we can decide its okay to walk away, okay to protect ourselves. We cannot change other people. It does not help others for us to get off balance. We do not lead others into the Light by stepping into the darkness with them. Today, God, help me to know that I don't have to allow myself to be pulled into negativity - even around those I love. Help me set boundaries. Help me know its okay to take care of myself. Positive energy attracts positive energy. Today my Higher Power continues to guide my growth so that I am more and more open. I am becoming free and unblocked and am attracting all that is good and right in my life. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey To The Heart Change Is in the Air Just as the world around us changes and evolves, so do the circumstances and situations in our lives. We live in a universe that is alive, vibrant, and constantly evolving. Change is the way nature, the universe, and the Divine move us through each period of our lives and into destiny. We are led to our next lesson, our next adventure. There’s no need to deny change, to fear it or fight against it. Change is inevitable. Just as the earth is constant motion and transformation, so are we. Take your place in the universal dance, the universal rhythm. Allow change to happen. Work with it as your life unfolds. Sometimes change comes in one smashing moment like a volcanic eruption. Other times it happens more alowly, the way the winds and rain sculpt bridges out of canyons. Learn to trust your body– its signs, signals, warnings, and excited proclamations. We let the gathering clouds warn us of impending storms, and we learn to study and predict tremors in the earth. In much the same way, our body can function as a barometer for our soul and its place in the constantly changing and evolving universe. You are open now, more sensitive than you’ve been before. Change is coming. It’s here. You can feel it in the air. You can feel it in yourself. Thank your body for helping you. Thank the universe for what it is about to do. Then thank God because change will bring you closer to love. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Practice diplomacy Taking care of ourselves doesn’t give us the right to be mean. Just because we’re telling the truth, we don’t need to tear people apart. Sometimes when we start to own our power after years–maybe a lifetime– of being timid and weak, we become overly aggressive trying to get our point across. We can be honest with other people without being mean. We can be diplomatic in whatever we need to say, at least most of the time. And we usually don’t have to scream and shout. I’ve learned a little trick along the way. The weaker and more vulnerable I feel, the more I holler and the meaner I react. The more truly powerful, clear, and centered I am, the quieter, gentle, and more loving I speak. The next time you feel threatened or start to scream and yell, stop yourself. Take a deep breath. Deliberately speak more softly than you normally would. You can speak softly and still carry a great big stick. God, help me be a diplomat. Teach me how to own my power in a gentle, peaceful way. ****************************************** In God’s Care Self-love is not opposed to the love of other people. You cannot really love yourself and do yourself a fovor without doing other people a fovor, and vice versa. ~~ Dr. Karl Menninger Self-love is not the same thing as egotism. As recovering people we hated ourselves for so long that we were crippled by it. Learning to love ourselves again becomes a form of therapy – and appreciation for God’s creation. And the delightful thing we learn is that we don’t love ourselves without loving others, and we can’t love others without loving ourselves. How wonderful! We can’t begin to love ourselves, however, without other people. People are essential, and so is God from whom all love flows. We are thankful for God’s love and ask God to teach us how to love others. And the more we practice doing loving acts for others, the more love we feel for ourselves. I will practice loving myself today by loving others. ****************************************** Universal Feelings Everything is Relative by Madisyn Taylor Pain is pain and yours is not greater than or less than anybody else's pain and deserves to be acknowledged as such. Every day we hear stories of personal suffering and loss that far exceed our own. When we compare our situations to those of people living in war-torn countries or those who have lost their homes and livelihoods to natural disasters, it is tempting to minimize our own experiences of suffering. We may feel that we don’t have a right to be upset about the breakup of a relationship, for example, because at least we have food to eat and a roof over our heads. While awareness of the pain of others in the world can be a valuable way to keep our own struggles in perspective, it is not a legitimate reason to disregard our own pain. Disparaging your feelings as being less important than other people's emotions leads to denial and repression. Over time, an unwillingness to experience your own feelings leads to numbness. It is as if our internal systems become clogged with our unexpressed emotions. This in no way helps other people who are suffering in the world. In fact, it may do just the opposite because when we devalue our own sorrow, we become impervious to the sorrow in others. Fully experiencing our own hurt is the gateway to compassion toward other human beings. Feelings of loss, abandonment, loneliness, and fear are universal, and, in that sense, all feelings are created equal. Regardless of what leads us to feel the way we do, our comprehension of what it means to be human is deepened by our own experiences. Our personal lives provide us with the material we need to become fully conscious. If we reject our emotions because we think our experiences are not dramatic or important enough, we are missing out on our own humanity. We honor and value the human condition when we fully inhabit our bodies so we can experience and feel life fully. Accepting our emotions and allowing ourselves to feel them connects us to all human beings. Then, when we hear the stories of other people’s suffering, our hearts can resonate with understanding and compassion—for all of us. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When I first came to The Program, I was stunned by the constant sound of laughter. I realized today that cheerfulness and merriment make for usefulness. Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we burst into laughter over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past. But why shouldn’t e laugh? We have recovered, and have helped others to recover. What greater cause could there be for rejoicing than this? Have I begun to regain my sense of humor? Today I Pray May God restore my sense of humor. May I appreciate the honest laughter that is the background music of our mutual rejoicing in our sobriety. May I laugh a lot, not the defensive ego-laugh which mocks another weakness, not the wry laugh of the self-put-down, but the healthy laugh that keeps situations in perspective. May I never regard this kind of laughter as irreverent. I have learned, instead, that it is irreverent to take myself too seriously. Today I Will Remember A sense of humor is a sigh of health. ****************************************** One More Day Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind. – Eric Hoffer Our own simple words to others can brighten our day. Too often we are caught up in the personal miseries of our lives, too involved to reach out to other people. We have forgotten that other people have the same needs we do. So many times, because we are ill or old or hurting, we expect others to come to us. That’s not fair to them, and it’s not good for us. Kind words and actions toward others can help us through the hard times. We can smile at the elderly man all alone in the grocery check-out line. We can talk to neighbors, thank the young man who courteously holds a door open, and reach out in dozens of other ways to the people who even briefly touch our lives. It’s good for them — and for us. I will make an extra effort to reach out in kindness to my neighbors and friends. ************************************ Food For Thought Overcoming Sloth Another of the seven deadly sins, which we do not talk much about anymore, is sloth. Webster defines it as laziness or indolence. It is our experience that the more we eat, the lazier we become. We procrastinate, we do not feel like undertaking anything difficult, and we avoid movement as much as possible. Abstinence puts our bodies into high gear. With proper nourishment and without an excess amount of food to digest, we feel alert and alive. We find ourselves requiring less sleep and fewer naps. Lifetime habits of laziness do not change immediately, but if we are willing to become more energetic, our Higher Power will provide the motivation. Sometimes the thought of a large task looming ahead of us is overwhelming, and we feel that we will never be able to manage it. Here is where the willingness to take one step at a time can make the difference. If we will begin, God will keep us going when the task is part of His plan. Deliver us from slothfulness. ***************************************** One Day At A Time Forgiveness “You keep carryin’ that anger, it’ll eat you up inside.” Don Henley I have been carrying around so much anger in my life that it has fanned the flames of my addiction. I wouldn’t allow myself to feel the anger because I was afraid it would overwhelm me. I used food and other substances to stuff it down and the anger became rage and turned inward as depression. My compulsive eating spiraled out of control. Many things have happened to me to justify the anger I’ve been carrying. Healthy anger indicates that someone has violated my boundaries or placed me in an untenable position. Anger that is felt and then released is a healthy emotion. But anger that is stuffed is toxic and will surely corrode my spirit and trap me even further in the cycle of addiction. I have learned through the Twelve Steps that forgiveness is the only path to letting go of toxic anger. Forgiveness does not mean excusing others’ abusive behavior nor accepting my abusers back into my life. Forgiveness happens when I allow myself to feel and work through my anger, and then release it to my Higher Power. Forgiveness is self-love. One Day at a Time . . . I will feel and express my healthy anger and strive for forgiveness. ~ Suzanne ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote I woke up. This had to be stopped. I saw I could not take so much as one drink. I was through forever. Before then, I had written lots of sweet promises, but my wife happily observed that this time I meant business. And so I did. Shortly afterward I came home drunk. There had been no fight. Where had been my high resolve? I simply didn't know. It hadn't even come to mind. Someone had pushed a drink my way, and I had taken it. Was I crazy? I began to wonder, for such an appalling lack of perspective seemed near being just that. - Pg. 5 - Bill's Story Hour To Hour - Book - Quote One thing you will learn in early recovery from addiction, is that you can keep going long after you think you can't. This is because you are not alone. Even if you had no family, no friends, or no co-workers, you would not be alone--for you have us in the fellowships. We are family. I know I am never abandoned even when I feel the most retched, even when I rant and push against this world, my family in the fellowship is waiting for me to reach out. Looking Toward What is Good I am a creative being. I have the power of reason, the ability to think, hope and dream. I can envision my life not only as it is, but as I might wish it to be. I can then think through the steps I might need to become more of who I wish to be. I have the power to think my way into a happy point of view, to see the glass as half full rather than half empty. My mind can be my greatest enemy or my greatest ally. It depends on how I choose to use it. I hold a beautiful vision of life - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Being lonely gets in the way of learning how to live alone. You are not alone even though you may have felt alone in a crowd in the past. The remedy for loneliness is service. Show up to a meeting 30 minutes early tonight and help set up. We promise you will not be lonely! I never have to be alone again. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book You cannot think yourself sober, read yourself sober or act yourself sober. You must live yourself sober. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am open to all the powers of the universe. I am letting them work for me and carry me to my next step. JOY! Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Do I want to drink, get esophagus lesions, pee blood until I die a horrible death in a flophouse? Or do I want to go to AA, do some meetings, do some steps, live a certain way and stay sober? Ah... Can I get back to you on that? - Charlie C.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to bluidkiti For Sharing: |
04-18-2021, 11:15 AM | #27 |
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 73,853
|
April 27
Daily Reflections JOYFUL DISCOVERIES We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 164 Sobriety is a journey of joyful discovery. Each day brings new experience, awareness, greater hope, deeper faith, broader tolerance. I must maintain these attributes or I will have nothing to pass on. Great events for this recovering alcoholic are the normal everyday joys found in being able to live another day in God's grace. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day By submitting to God, we're released from the power of liquor. It has no more hold on us. We're also released from the things that were holding us down: pride, selfishness, and fear. And we're free to grow into a new life, which is so much better than the old life that there's no comparison. This release gives us serenity and peace with the world. Have I been released from the power of alcohol? Meditation For The Day We know God by spiritual vision. We feel that He is beside us. We feel His presence. Contact with God is not made by the senses. Spirit-consciousness replaces sight. Since we cannot see God, we have to perceive Him by spiritual perception. God has to span the physical and the spiritual with the gift to us of spiritual vision. Many persons, though they cannot see God, have had a clear spiritual consciousness of Him. We are inside a box of space and time, but we know there must be something outside of that box, limitless space, eternity of time, and God. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may have a consciousness of God's presence. I pray that God will give me spiritual vision. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Prelude to the Program, p. 118 Few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program unless they have "hit bottom," for practicing A.A.'s Steps means the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream of taking. The average alcoholic, self-centered in the extreme, doesn't care for this prospect--unless he has to do these things in order to stay alive himself. << << << >> >> >> We know that the newcomer has to "hit bottom"; otherwise, not much can happen. Because we are drunks who understand him, we can use at depth the nutcracker of the-obsession-plus-the-allergy as a tool of such power that it can shatter his ego. Only thus can he be convinced that on his own unaided resources he has little or no chance. 1. 12 & 12, p. 24 2. A.A. Today, p. 8 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Happy People are likable. Personal relations. Who are the people we really like, and to be with? Most of the time, they are happy people, people who like themselves and others. Being happy is almost the entire secret of being likable. Though no person can expect to be liked by everybody, likable people have the inside track most of the time. How do we become happy and thus likable? We're continuously told that happiness cannot be found in property, power, and prestige. It is rooted instead in self-acceptance. In feeling loved and wanted, and in giving genuine service, maybe just in the form of very useful work. Twelve Step programs are structured to make us happy if we persevere long enough in working the individual steps. While it may seem contradictory, even people with heavy burdens and personal sorrows can find underlying happiness in the program. A great deal of this also hinges on our belief in a Higher Power and a confidence that we have a place in the universal system. I can be happy today in spite of things that others would consider burdensome and depressing. Happiness really comes from God, and it also serves to attract friends into my life. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple I noticed my hopelessness was because I had lost my freedom of choice.---AA member By doing a Fourth Step, we start to see ourselves more clearly. We see how we've acted against ourselves. Soon, we hear a little voice inside telling us to stop before we act. "Are you sure you want to say or do that?" the little voice asks. Then we make a choice: we do something the same old way, or we try a new way. One part of us will always want to do things the old, sick way. This is natural. But we're getting stronger every day. Our spirit wants to learn new ways so we can be honest and loving. Sometimes we don't know how. But we still have a choice. We can ask for help. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me listen to the little voice inside that helps me see that I have choices. Action for the Day: Today, I'll make a choice between old ways and new ways of acting. I will call my sponsor this evening to talk about my choices. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning So much to say. And so much not to say! Some things are better left unsaid. But so many unsaid things can become a burden. --Virginia Mae Axline The occasions are many when we'd like to share a feeling, an observation, perhaps even a criticism with someone. The risk is great, however. She might be hurt, or he might walk away, leaving us alone. Many times, we need not share our words directly. Weighing and measuring the probable outcome and asking for some inner guidance will help us decide when to speak up and when to leave things unsaid. But if our thoughts are seriously interfering with our relationships, we can't ignore them for long. Clearing the air is necessary sometimes, and it freshens all relationships. When to take the risk creates consternation. But within our quiet spaces, we always know when we must speak up. And the direction will come. The right moment will present itself. And within those quiet spaces the right words can be found. If I am uncomfortable with certain people, and the feelings don't leave, I will consider what might need to be said. I will open myself to the way and ask to be shown the steps to take. Then, I will be patient. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS After they have seen tangible results, the family will perhaps want to go along. These things will come to pass naturally and in good time provided, however, the alcoholic continues to demonstrate that he can be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does. Of course, we all fall much below this standard many times. But we must try to repair the damage immediately lest we pay the penalty by a spree. p. 99 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short The next day I went back to Chicago and started a vigorous campaign among my so-called friends or drinking companions. Their answer was always the same: If they needed it at any time , they would surely get in touch with me. I went to a minister and a doctor whom I still knew, and they, in turn, asked me how long I had been sober. When I told them six weeks, they were polite and said that they would contact me in case they had anyone with an alcoholic problem. p. 264 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Three - "The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking." How could we then guess that all those fears were to prove groundless? How could we know that thousands of these sometimes frightening people were to make astonishing recoveries and become our greatest workers and intimate friends? Was it credible that A.A. was to have a divorce rate far lower than average? Could we then foresee that troublesome people were to become our principle teachers of patience and tolerance? Could any then imagine a society which would include every conceivable kind of character, and cut across every barrier of race, creed, politics, and language with ease? pp. 140-141 ************************************************** ********* Never give up ten minutes before the miracle. --Anonymous Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. --Henry Ford God is a never ending source of all we need. --SweetyZee Just as we experience joy in caring for others, they experience joy in caring for us. --Linda Nocks Shah "Invest the first hour of the day, the 'Golden Hour,' in yourself." --Brian Tracy "Pray not for lighter burdens but for stronger backs." --Theodore Roosevelt "The easiest way to save face is to keep the lower half shut." --Anon "A good laugh is sunshine in a house." --William Makepeace Thackeray "If you keep doing things like you've always done them, what you'll get is what you've already got." --Anon "Action conquers fear." --Peter N. Zarlenga "The best way out of a difficulty is through it" --Anon ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation RELIGION "All religions must be tolerated . . . for . . . every man must get to heaven his own way." --Frederick the Great There are many ways to God and I believe that Christianity is one way. However, I am convinced that there are other ways with or without religion. My experience of the church has been good, and I have been encouraged to question and doubt, search for new areas of faith within my agnosticism, explore other religions. My experience of Christianity has been supportive of openness and compassion. God is not a prisoner of any religion and we can all learn from each other's experiences - but we need to listen. To dismiss arrogantly the value that a religion can bring is, to my way of thinking, as negative and sick as to accept what a religion says without question. Let me find in the religions of the world the ONENESS of Your truth. ************************************************** ********* The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn; shining brighter till the full light of day. Proverbs 4 :18 We love Him, because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Rely on the strength and understanding that you possess. Each of us has more of it in us that we can imagine possible. Lord, through faith in You I can face any difficulty and conquer it. Have the courage to forgive. Lord, may I bring myself to a place of peace by never holding a grudge. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Recognizing And Releasing Resentments "We want to look our past in the face, see it for what it really was, and release it so we can live today." Basic Text p. 28 Many of us had trouble identifying our resentments when we were new in recovery. There we sat with our Fourth Step in front of us, thinking and thinking, finally deciding that we just didn't have any resentments. Perhaps we talked ourselves into believing that we weren't so sick after all. Such unwitting denial of our resentments stems from the conditioning of our addiction. Most of our feelings were buried, and buried deep. After some time in recovery, a new sense of understanding develops. Our most deeply buried feelings begin to surface, and those resentments we thought we didn't have suddenly emerge. As we examine these resentments, we may feel tempted to hold onto some of them, especially if we think they are "justified." But what we need to remember is that "justified" resentments are just as burdensome as any other resentment. As our awareness of our liabilities grows, so does our responsibility to let go. We no longer need to hang on to our resentments. We want to rid ourselves of what's undesirable and set ourselves free to recover. Just for today: When I discover a resentment, I'll see it for what it is and let it go. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Crying only a little bit is no use. You must cry until your pillow is soaked. Then you can get up and laugh. . . . --Galway Kinnell Many of us were raised to deny our feelings; that is, we might have been allowed to describe them politely, but we were not allowed to express feelings on the spot by wailing, jumping for joy, or dancing. This is often considered rude. In a proper home, we often hear, if people have feelings, they have them quietly. But many of us have suffered living this way. We need a full and thorough expression of a feeling in order to know it, experience it, and move beyond it. This is the way we let go of sadness, for instance. Feelings come and go. If we are not afraid to let them have their moment, we will not be afraid to express them. What am I feeling right now? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Fine friendship requires duration rather than fitful intensity. --Aristotle Once we have embarked upon this program, we find spiritual recovery through relationships more than any other single factor. We find it through relationships with other people, with ourselves, and with our Higher Power. But most men in recovery need to learn how to be in a relationship. We have to give up ideas that a friendship is an intense connection or a conflict-free blending of like minds. A meaningful friendship is a long-term dialogue. If there is conflict or if we make a mistake or fail to do what our friend wants of us, we don't end the friendship. We simply have the next exchange to resolve the differences. Our dialogue continues over time, and time - along with many amends - builds the bond. With it develops a deepening sense of reliability and trusting one another. When we have lived with our friend through many experiences - or with our Higher Power - we gain a feeling that we really know him or her in a way we could never have in a brief intense connection. Today, I will do what I need to do to be reliable in my friendships. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. So much to say. And so much not to say! Some things are better left unsaid. But so many unsaid things can become a burden. --Virginia Mae Axline The occasions are many when we'd like to share a feeling, an observation, perhaps even a criticism with someone. The risk is great, however. She might be hurt, or he might walk away, leaving us alone. Many times, we need not share our words directly. Weighing and measuring the probable outcome and asking for some inner guidance will help us decide when to speak up and when to leave things unsaid. But if our thoughts are seriously interfering with our relationships, we can't ignore them for long. Clearing the air is necessary sometimes, and it freshens all relationships. When to take the risk creates consternation. But within our quiet spaces, we always know when we must speak up. And the direction will come. The right moment will present itself. And within those quiet spaces the right words can be found. If I am uncomfortable with certain people, and the feelings don't leave, I will consider what might need to be said. I will open myself to the way and ask to be shown the steps to take. Then, I will be patient. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Letting Go of the Need to Control The rewards from detachment are great: serenity; a deep sense of peace; the ability to give and receive love in self enhancing, energizing ways; and the freedom to find real solutions to our problems. --Codependent No More Letting go of our need to control can set others and us free. It can set our Higher Power free to send the best to us. If we weren't trying to control someone or something, what would we be doing differently? What would we do that were not letting ourselves do now? Where would we go? What would we say? What decisions would we make? What would we ask for? What boundaries would be set? When would we say no or yes? If we weren't trying to control whether a person liked us or his or her reaction to us, what would we do differently? If we weren't trying to control the course of a relationship, what would we do differently? If we weren't trying to control another persons behavior, how would we think, feel, speak, and behave differently than we do now? What haven't we been letting ourselves do while hoping that self-denial would influence a particular situation or person? Are there some things we've been doing that wed stop? How would we treat ourselves differently? Would we let ourselves enjoy life more and feel better right now? Would we stop feeling so bad? Would we treat ourselves better? If we weren't trying to control, what would we do differently? Make a list, and then do it. Today, I will ask myself what I would be doing differently if I weren't trying to control. When I hear the answer, I will do it. God, help me let go of my need to control. Help me set others and myself free. Today I choose to accept live on life's terms...all of it. I am open to all I see, hear, think and feeling the moment, without resistance. I am opening to be fully alive and enjoying the adventure. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey To The Heart Love Sets Others Free One of love’s most challenging lessons is freedom. Much of my life I thought love meant restraint. I couldn’t do this if I loved you. You wouldn’t do that if you loved me. Certainly there are times when love asks us to make choices. But love doesn’t limit, it doesn’t confine, as I once believed. Love brings with it the gift of freedom. Love teaches us to allow the person we love to do as he or she chooses. It teaches us to encourage the people we love to freely make their own choices, to seek their own path, to learn their lessons their way in their own time. Love that restrains isn’t love. It’s insecurity. We may tell others how we feel about something they do or don’t do. We may make decisions as a reaction to others choices. That is our right and our responsibility. But to restrain another in the name of love doesn’t create love, it creates restraint. Love means each person is free to follow his or her own heart, seek his or her own path. If we truly love, our choices will naturally and freely serve that love well. When we give freedom to another, we really give freedom to ourselves. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Stop reading between the lines Chelsea dated Tom for five years. During the course of those years, Tom told Chelsea that he didn’t want a serious relationship, and she shouldn’t get serious about him. Chelsea didn’t like what she heard. She thought Tom must care about her, because their times together were so good and because he kept coming back to see her. Whether Tom was being manipulative isn’t the issue. Whether he was keeping a door open for himself isn’t the issue. The issue is, Chelsea wasn’t believing what Tom said– until he left her for someone else. Yes, sometimes people are coy. Yes, sometimes people are reluctant to get involved. But if people tell you they feel a certain way, don’t read between the lines. Take them at face value. Correct your behavior to match the reality of the situation, not the fantasies in your mind. Take people at face value. Say what you mean in your dealings with others, so they can take you at face value,too. God, help me make a practice out of facing, dealing with, and accepting the truth. ****************************************** In God’s Care The presence of faith is no gaurantee of deliverance from times of distress and vicissitude but there can be a certainty that nothing will be encountered that is overwhelming. ~~William Barr Oglesby Jr. We’ve all experienced times so seriously troubling that we feared for our sanity: the loss of a job, divorce, or the death of a loved one. And in each instance we learned that the more we relied on our Higher Power’s support, the less we stumbled and the more we could allow ourselves our grief and get on with our life, perhaps even stronger and wiser than before. Facing our addictions and working our program won’t guarantee that our future will be free of struggles. Everyone has to live through difficult times, some of us more than others it seems. But we needn’t sacrifice our serenity and security through these times as long as we let God share them with us. It’s such a relief knowing that nothing has to overwhelm us as long as we remember to let God shoulder the burden we’re carrying. Whatever happens today will trouble me less if I let God handle it. ****************************************** You Are Who You Are, Not What You Do Becoming Your Wrong Decisions Our perception of the traits and characteristics that make us who we are is often tightly intertwined with how we live our life. We define ourselves in terms of the roles we adopt, our actions and inactions, our triumphs, and what we think are failures. As a result it is easy to identify so strongly with a decision that has resulted in unexpected negative consequences that we actually become that "wrong" decision. The disappointment and shame we feel when we make what we perceive as a mistake grows until it becomes a dominant part of our identities. We rationalize our "poor" decisions by labeling ourselves incompetent decision-makers. However, your true identity cannot be defined by your choices. Your essence—what makes you a unique entity—exists independently of your decision-making process. There are no true right or wrong decisions. All decisions contribute to your development and are an integral part of your evolving existence yet they are still separate from the self. A decision that does not result in its intended outcome is in no way an illustration of character. Still, it can have dire effects on our ability to trust ourselves and our self-esteem. You can avoid becoming your decisions by affirming that a "bad decision" was just an experience, and next time you can choose differently. Try to avoid lingering in the past and mulling over the circumstances that led to your perceived error in judgment. Instead, adapt to the new circumstances you must face by considering how you can use your intelligence, inner strength, and intuition to aid you in moving forward more mindfully. Try not to entirely avoid thinking about the choices you have made, but reflect on the consequences of your decision from a rational rather than an emotional standpoint. Strive to under! stand why you made the choice you did, forgive yourself, and then move forward. A perceived mistake becomes a valuable learning experience and is, in essence, a gift to learn and grow from. You are not a bad person and you are not your decisions; you are simply human. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Am I so sure I’m doing everything possible to make my new life a success? Am I using my capabilities well? Do I recognize and appreciate all I have to be grateful for? The Program and its Twelve Steps teach me that I am not the possessor of unlimited resources. The more I do with them, the more they will grow — to overshadow and cancel out the difficult and painful feelings that now get so much of my attention. Am I less sensitive today than when I first came to The Program? Today I Pray May I make the most of myself in all ways. May I begin to look outward to people and opportunities and wonderful resources around me. As I become less ingrown and understand myself better in relation to others, may I be less touchy and thin-skinned.l May I shrug off my old “the world-is-out-to-get-me” feeling and see that same world as my treasure-house, God-given and boundless. Today I Will Remember My resources are unlimited. ****************************************** One More Day Solitude: A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay. – Joan Billings We probably recognize our need for solitude in our lives — private time when we can sit and think, or listen to music, or simply enjoy the quiet. When solitude becomes a way of life, however, it can lead to loneliness, and loneliness can lead to self-pity. This is a dangerous position. We tread a real tightrope with our need for solitude. We need to be alone, but not isolated. In our solitude, we can find serenity through meditation and prayer. Once we are re energized, it will be easier for us to balance our lives by inviting a friend into our home or reaching out to another who is in pain. Solitude encourages us to turn our backs on loneliness and to reach out to others once again. I will not impose a sentence of solitary confinement upon myself. I am still a valuable member of society. ************************************ Food For Thought Food Is No Cure all In spite of what we compulsive overeaters may have believed, food does not solve our emotional or spiritual problems. Food cannot fill our hearts with love, no matter how much we eat. Rather than erasing our difficulties with family, friends, and self, overeating multiplies them. If our problem were that of not having enough to eat, food would be the solution. It is possible for us to be overweight and undernourished at the same time, if we are eating the wrong foods. For most of us, though, the difficulty is simply that we like to eat too much. The only cure all for that problem is eating less! The good news for compulsive overeaters is that a life of abstinence and control is possible. We do not have to be destroyed by our disease. When we recognize that we have been using food to do what only our Higher Power can do, we are on the way to recovery. Instead of turning to food to ease our aches and satisfy our cravings, we turn to God. Thank You for being there for me. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ RELATIONSHIPS ~ And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of Spirit. Kahlil Gibran My initial experience of relationships in recovery was one of wonder and relief. I was so amazed to find that there actually were other people who understood life as I lived it! Until I walked into the rooms of recovery, I felt so alone and different from other people. Finding people who had also lived the nightmare of compulsive eating, helped my isolation fade away. Seeing that they had found a new way of living gave me hope!! As I began to share more deeply with my sponsor and other people in recovery, I discovered a deeper gift of friendship in recovery. I received unconditional love and focused guidance toward the steps of recovery which would transform me completely. This was the greatest gift of relationship that I had ever known. This was the beginning of the transformation that invited me to share the Spirit of recovery with others. As I carry the principles of recovery into all aspects of my life, I find my relationships with all people are transformed. My character defects no longer stand in the way of my honesty, and fear no longer holds me prisoner. The Spirit of recovery which has been so generously shared with me, continues to be shared joyously through me. One Day at a Time . . . I will be carried by the Spirit of recovery into all of my relationships. ~ Cate ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble? Does this mean we are going to get drunk? Some people tell us so. But this is only a half-truth. It depends on us and on our motives. If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. We are not theorizing. These are facts out of our experience. - Pg. 70 - How It Works Hour To Hour - Book - Quote You may at times feel particularly antsy or confused. Like now. This is a normal reaction of withdrawing our bodies from chemicals and changing our past behavior. When this happens, we call another person, write down our feelings, pray about it, or do some physical activity. Right this minute I am alright and I will fill the rest of this hour with one of the above activities. Seeing Perfection in What Is I see life as it is today. I do not ask that the world conform to my idea of perfection in order to love it. I see beauty and perfection in things as they are, not as I wish them to be. I forgive life for being imperfect. I forgive people for being imperfect. I forgive myself for being imperfect.I let life, people and me be what we are. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Having a God of our own under-standing does not mean we have to withhold saying 'God' around non-believers. People who try to get the word 'God' out of the Twelve Steps in order not to offend others, are missing the point. The point is, no one has to say 'God' in order to recover, it does not mean others can't call their Higher Power 'God.' God is the answer. Now what is my problem? "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Today you are leading a life. When you were drinking, you were a life being led. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I have the courage to face life as it is and make progress a part of my life. I am willing to take chances and grow and risk and feel what it means to be fully alive in the moment. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote It takes a lot of courage to stay sober. And if you don't have it, get it from the person sitting next to you, so you can recover for one more day. - Patti O.
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April 28
Daily Reflections TWO "MAGNIFICENT STANDARDS" All A.A. progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words: humility and responsibility. Our whole spiritual development can be accurately measured by our degree of adherence to these magnificent standards. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 271 To acknowledge and respect the views, accomplishments and prerogatives of others and to accept being wrong shows me the way of humility. To practice the principles of A.A. in all my affairs guides me to be responsible. Honoring these precepts gives credence to Tradition Four--and to all other Traditions of the Fellowship. Alcoholics Anonymous has evolved a philosophy of life full of valid motivations, rich in highly relevant principles and ethical values, a view of life which can be extended beyond the confines of the alcoholic population. To honor these precepts I need only to pray, and care for my fellow man as if each one were my brother. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We're so glad to be free from liquor that we do something about it. We get into action. We come to meetings regularly. We go out and try to help other alcoholics. We pass on the good news whenever we get a chance. In a spirit of thankfulness to God, we get into action. The A.A. program is simple. Submit yourself to God, find release from liquor, and get into action. Do these things and keep doing them and you're all set for the rest of your life. Have I got into action? Meditation For The Day God's eternal quest must be the tracking down of souls. You should join Him in His quest. Through briars, through waste places, through glades, up mountain heights, down into valleys. God leads you. But ever with His leadership goes your helping hand. Glorious to follow where the Leader goes. You are seeking lost sheep. You are bringing the good news into places where it has not been known before. You may not know which soul you will help, but you can leave all results to God. just go with Him in His eternal quest for souls. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may follow God in His eternal quest for souls. I pray that I may offer God my helping hand. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Prelude to the Program, p. 118 Few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program unless they have "hit bottom," for practicing A.A.'s Steps means the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream of taking. The average alcoholic, self-centered in the extreme, doesn't care for this prospect--unless he has to do these things in order to stay alive himself. << << << >> >> >> We know that the newcomer has to "hit bottom"; otherwise, not much can happen. Because we are drunks who understand him, we can use at depth the nutcracker of the-obsession-plus-the-allergy as a tool of such power that it can shatter his ego. Only thus can he be convinced that on his own unaided resources he has little or no chance. 1. 12 & 12, p. 24 2. A.A. Today, p. 8 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Expect Miracle-working Coincidences Spiritual direction Somebody said that a wonderful coincidence is when God acts but does not choose to leave a signature. Wonderful coincidences are appearing every moment of the day. People who live the spiritual life are especially positioned to recognize and understand coincidences. The founding of AA abounds with coincidences that boggle the mind. Almost by chance, the Oxford Group ideas found their way to Bill Wilson. A business trip took him to Akron where, coincidentally. An earnest group of Oxford Group people were trying to help Dr. Bob Smith to sobriety. With his business venture in collapse, Bill made the telephone call that put him in touch with Dr. Bob, eventually resulting in the launch of AA. Such miraculous coincidences work for the fellowship, and they're also at work in our individual lives. If we look closely, we'll discover that many such coincidences helped bring about our recovery or some other blessing. God is the guiding power behind these coincidences. What appears to be chance is really a marvelous intelligence coordinating random events for the good of all. I'll have confidence today that God is always bringing positive results out of a number of random events. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Unless I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues. --- Hugh Prather Before recovery, we saw only a blurry picture of ourselves, like we were looking through an out-of-focus camera lens. We couldn't see the good in ourselves because we wouldn't look close enough. Step Four helps us look more closely. We see a picture of ourselves, with our good points and our faults. We don't like everything we see. But we can't change until we accept ourselves as we are. Then we can start getting ready to change. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see the good in me and love myself. Action for the Day: Today, I'll make a list of four of my good points and four of my faults. Am I getting to have my Higher Power remove these defects of character? ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning . . . suffering . . . no matter how multiplied . . . is always individual. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh Knowing that others have survived experiences equally devastating gives us hope, but it doesn't diminish our own personal suffering. Nor should it; out of suffering comes new understanding. Suffering also encourages our appreciation of the lighter, easier times. Pain experienced fully enhances the times of pleasure. Our sufferings are singular, individual, and lonely. But our experiences with it can be shared, thereby lessening the power they have over us. Sharing our pain with another woman also helps her remember that her pain, too, is survivable. Suffering softens us, helps us to feel more compassion and love toward another. Our sense of belonging to the human race, our recognition of the interdependence and kinship of us all, are the most cherished results of the gift of pain. Each of our sufferings, sharing them as we do, strengthens me and heals my wounds of alienation. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS If there be divorce or separation, there should be no undue haste for the couple to get together. The man should be sure of his recovery. The wife should fully understand his new way of life. If their old relationship is to be resumed it must be on a better basis, since the former did not work. This means a new attitude and spirit all around. Sometimes it is to the best interests of all concerned that a couple remain apart. Obviously, no rule can be laid down. Let the alcoholic continue his program day by day. When the time for living together has come, it will be apparent to both parties. p. 99 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short Needless to say, it was a year or more before they did contact me. On my trips back to Akron to get my spirits recharged and to work with other alcoholics, I would ask Dr. Bob about this delay and wonder just what was wrong with me. He would invariably reply, "When you are right and the time is right, Providence will provide. You must always be willing and continue to make contacts." p. 264 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Three - "The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking." Why did A.A. finally drop all its membership regulations? Why did we leave it to each newcomer to decide himself whether he was an alcoholic and whether he should join us? Why did we dare say, contrary to the experience of society and government everywhere, that we would neither punish nor deprive any A.A. of membership, believe anything, or conform to anything? The answer, now seen in Tradition Three, was simplicity itself. At last experience taught us that to take away any alcoholic's full chance was sometimes to pronounce his death sentence, and often to condemn him to endless misery. Who dared to be judge, jury, and executioner of his own sick brother? p. 141 ************************************************** ********* A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark. --Anonymous Your mind is an encyclopedia of your lessons in life. Expand it by making memories with loved ones, reading a good book, or just by doing something positive rather than negative. --Anonymous When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. --Alexander Graham Bell Only God can make us whole. --Barbara Haynes "When you face your fear, most of the time you will discover that it was not really such a big threat after all." --Les Brown "The country clubs, the cars the boats, your assets may be ample, but the best inheritance you can leave your kids is to be a good example." --Barry Spilchuk "Next time someone tells you 'never,' remember that means 'not for at least one hour.'" --Jeffrey Gitomer ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PREJUDICE "It is never too late to give up your prejudices." --Henry David Thoreau Prejudice divides people and feeds upon anger, resentment and fear. Today I can see that my prejudices stemmed from my seeing in others what I disliked in myself. I hated people who appeared "weak" because I knew that I was weak and vulnerable. I hated people who were "different" because I knew there were parts of me that were different from how I appeared. I hated the people who stood up for their principles and talked about their feelings because, as a drunk, I never really had any principles and I couldn't get in touch with my feelings. Today I try to talk about my prejudices and overcome them. A knowledge of those people I disliked has proven useful in slowly overcoming my prejudices. Teach me to locate myself in my criticism of others. ************************************************** ********* "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me has everlasting life." John 6:47 You have faith, and I have works; show me your faith without the works, and I will show you my faith by my works. James 2:18 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Give your day to God and let Him bring out the best in you in all situations. Lord, I will use Your power within me to make the best of this day. You are a blessed, creative, lovable and needed being created by God. Lord, may these qualities shine forth and be used to bless those around me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Who Really Gets Better? "We can also use the steps to improve our attitudes. Our best thinking got us into trouble. We recognize the need for change." Basic Text, p. 53 When new in recovery, most of us had at least one person we just couldn't stand. We thought that person was the rudest, most obnoxious person in the program. We knew there was something we could do, some principle of recovery we could practice to get over the way we felt about this person—but what? We asked our sponsor for guidance. We were probably assured, with an amused smile, that if we just kept coming back, we'd see the person get better. That made sense to us. We believed that the steps of NA worked in the lives of everyone. If they could work for us, they could work for this horrible person, too. Time passed, and at some point we noticed that the person didn't seem as rude or obnoxious as before. In fact, he or she had become downright tolerable, maybe even likeable. We got a pleasant jolt as we realized who had really gotten better. Because we had kept coming back, because we had kept working the steps, our perception of this person had changed. The person who'd plagued us had become "tolerable" because we'd developed some tolerance; he or she had become "likeable" because we'd developed the ability to love. So who really gets better? We do! As we practice the program, we gain a whole new outlook on those around us by gaining a new outlook on ourselves. Just for today: As I get better, so will others. Today, I will practice tolerance and try to love those I meet. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions. --Lillian Hellman Every fall there seems to be something new and different to get for school--a special folder, a new style of pants, or maybe a different haircut. These things change from year to year. Sometimes we get carried away with the current trends. We start putting too much importance on such things. We may be tempted to join our friends in teasing someone who doesn't wear the "right" clothes, or avoid someone who doesn't say the "right" things. This is when we need God's help. Perhaps we can become the leaders for the next trend--looking beyond appearances of others to the beauty inside them. Will I see the true value in those around me today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Indeed, this need of individuals to be right is so great that they are willing to sacrifice themselves, their relationships, and even love for it. --Reuel Howe We may have an inner drive to be right - and even to prove we are right. We often have been expected to know about the world and how things work, as if our manhood were tied to knowing. So when we don't know the right answer, or when a person disagrees with us, we may get upset because we feel our masculine honor is in question. We should always remember that our honor requires being honest, not being right. Our masculinity is being true to ourselves as men, not being invincible. Demanding that our opinions always be accepted as right is destructive to our relationships. It cuts us off from people we love, and becomes hostile and selfish. We are learning to allow room for differences; we can love and respect people we disagree with. And we all have a right to be wrong part of the time. I don't have to have all the right answers. Today, my ideas are just one man's honest thoughts. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. . . . suffering . . . no matter how multiplied . . . is always individual. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh Knowing that others have survived experiences equally devastating gives us hope, but it doesn't diminish our own personal suffering. Nor should it; out of suffering comes new understanding. Suffering also encourages our appreciation of the lighter, easier times. Pain experienced fully enhances the times of pleasure. Our sufferings are singular, individual, and lonely. But our experiences with it can be shared, thereby lessening the power they have over us. Sharing our pain with another woman also helps her remember that her pain, too, is survivable. Suffering softens us, helps us to feel more compassion and love toward another. Our sense of belonging to the human race, our recognition of the interdependence and kinship of us all, are the most cherished results of the gift of pain. Each of our sufferings, sharing them as we do, strengthens me and heals my wounds of alienation. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Anger at Family Members Many of us have anger toward certain members of our family. Some of us have much anger and rage - anger that seems to go on year after year. For many of us, anger was the only way to break an unhealthy bondage or connection between a family member and ourselves. It was the force that kept us from being held captive - mentally, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually - by certain family members. It is important to allow ourselves to feel - to accept - our anger toward family members without casting guilt or shame on ourselves. It is also important to examine our guilty feelings concerning family members as anger and guilt are often intertwined. We can accept, even thank, our anger for protecting us. But we can also set another goal: taking our freedom. Once we do, we will not need our anger. Once we do, we can achieve forgiveness. Think loving thoughts; think healing thoughts toward family members. But let ourselves be as angry as we need to be. At some point, strive to be done with the anger. But we need to be gentle with ourselves if the feelings surface from time to time. Thank God for the feelings. Feel them. Release them. Ask God to bless and care for our families. Ask God to help us take freedom and take care of ourselves. Let the golden light of healing shine upon all we love and upon all with whom we feel anger. Let the golden light of healing shine on us. Trust that a healing is taking place, now. Help me accept the potent emotions I may feel toward family members. Help me be grateful for the lesson they are teaching me. I accept the golden light of healing that is now shining on my family and me. I thank God that healing does not always come in a neat, tidy package. Positive energy attracts positive energy. Today my Higher Power continues to guide my growth so that I am more and more open. I am becoming free and unblocked and am attracting all that is good and right in my life. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey To The Heart Reward Yourself Take time to reward yourself. Let it become a deliberate and practiced habit. Many of us grew up in families, or with people, who didn’t reward us. We weren’t rewarded for good behavior; we weren’t rewarded or loved unconditionally, just for being, and particularly for being us. Althought many of us may strive to change that behavior by rewarding the people around us, we may have neglected the importance of rewarding someone very important– ourselves. It is one thing to mentally congratulate ourselves for a job well done. It is another to take the time to actually, deliberately, and specifically reward ourselves. How many years do we have to live before it’s time to treat ourselves? How much good do we have to do before it’s good enough to give ourselves a gift? Maybe it’s time right now–today– to begin practicing the habit of rewarding ourselves. Our souls can become tired, very weary of striving to grow, to do things well, to do our best at life, love, and work if there is no reward. Our passion can wane if good is never good enough, and if the rewards and pleasure are always at bay–somewhere out in the distant future. If you find yourself beginning to resist working hard, doing well, striving for spiritual growth, maybe it’s because you’re neglecting to reward yourself for all you’ve already done. If you feel like the world offers no reward to you, maybe it’s because you’re not cooperating by rewarding yourself. Stop punishing and depriving yourself. Don’t let others punish you for a job, a day, or a life well done. Instead, reward yourself. Take a break and do something especially nice for you, something that would make you happy. Buy yourself something. It can be a little gift. Or you can splurge. Take yourself somewhere you want to go– in your home town, or in another country. Do something fun, magical and exciting, something that makes your heart sing and your spirit soar. Reward yourself by allowing yourself to enjoy what you give yourself, or what you’re doing. Make rewarding yourself an attitude. Reward yourself often. When you accomplish a particular task. When you’ve gone through a grueling part of your healing process. Reward yourself during those frustrating times, just for being so patient. Sometimes, reward yourself just for being you. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Say what you did “How do you think it went?” Rob, my flight instructor asked me after my one-hour flying lesson. I was used to this part of the drill by now. After a skydive or after a flight lesson, the student usually takes the time to sit down with the instructor and review the session. I reviewed the takeoff and landing, the maneuvers I had done, and objecrively analyzed my fear and performance level. I critiqued where I needed improvement and what my goals were for the next session. Then came my favorite part. I had to pick out what I liked best about my flying that day. I thought for a while. “I think I taxied really well,” I said. “I’m really getting the hang of it.” Sometimes, in the busyness and exuberance of living our lives, it’s easy to forget to take time to debrief. By the time we fall into bed at night, we’re tired and done with the day. Take an extra moment or two at night. Make room for a new habit in your life. The Twelve Step programs call it “taking an inventory.” Some people call it “debriefing.” The purpose of an inventory isn’t to criticize. It’s to stay conscious and objectively analyze what happened. Go over the events of the day. What did you do? How do you feel about what you did? Where could you use improvement? What would you like to do tomorrow? And most important, what was your favorite part of the Day? Don’t overanalyze. Don’t use debriefing as a self-torture session. Simply say what you did, where you’d like to see improvement, and what you mosr enjoyed. You might be surprised at the awareness and power this simple activity can bring. God, help me take the time to debrief. Activity: If you have a spouse or a roommate, making a regular ritual out of doing a debriefing together can be a great intimacy-building activity. You can encourage your children to learn to debrief from the day at a young age. Or, you can debrief with a friend, on the phone, at the end of the day. You’ll not only get to know yourself better, but will also become closer to the other person,too. ****************************************** In God’s Care That was another mystery: it sometimes seemed to him that venial sins – impatience, an unimportant lie, pride, a neglected opportunity – cut you off from grace more completely than the worst sins of all. ~~Graham Greene Our old negative ways of handling things – brooding, complaining, ignoring people – not only harm us, but they harm others as well. Evem more, they cut us off from God. And because the small wrongdoings often lead to bigger transgressions, perhaps that’s why they take on greater importance. Fortunately, practicing the Tenth Step can bring us back to our senses. Taking an end-of-the-day inventory can stop a negative attitude that might have consumed us for days. And when we again make conscious contact with God, it is as if we had never taken our little detour. God’s love never strays. When I am down, I need to take an inventory of my attitude. ****************************************** A Question Of Balance One-Sided Relationships One of the most beautiful qualities of an intimate relationship is the give and take of energy that occurs between two people. In the best-case scenario, both people share the talking and listening, and the giving and receiving of support, equally. Occasionally, within any relationship, the balance shifts and one person needs to listen more, or give more. Generally, over a long period of time, even this exception will take on a balanced rhythm; we all go through times when we take more and times when we give more. However, there are also relationships in which the balance has always felt one-sided. You may have a friend whom you like, but you have begun to notice that the conversation is always about their life and their problems and never about yours. You may also have a friend who seems to require an inordinate amount of support from you but who is unable or unwilling to give much in return. Over time, these relationships can be draining and unsatisfying. One option is simply to end the relationship, or let it fade out naturally. Another option is to communicate to your friend that you would like to create a more equal balance in which your concerns also get some airtime. They may be taken aback at first, but if they are able to hear you, your friendship will become that much more sincere. They may even thank you for revealing a pattern that is probably sabotaging more than one relationship in their life. A third option is to simply accept the relationship as it is. There are many one-sided relationships that actually work. One example of this is a mentor relationship in which you are learning from someone. Another example is a relationship in which you are helping someone who is sick, disabled, or otherwise needy. In these instances, you can simply be grateful that you are able to help and be helped, trusting that the balance of give and take will even out in the big picture of your life. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I will resolve to observe with new interest even the commonplace things that happen today. If I learn to see everything with a fresh eye, perhaps I’ll find I have countless reasons for contentment and gratitude. When I find myself trapped in the quicksand of my negative thoughts I’ll turn away from them — and grab for the lifesaving strength of sharing with others in The Program. Do I carry my weight as an all-important link in the worldwide chain of The Program? Today I Pray I pray that God will open my eyes to the smallest everyday wonders, that I may notice and list among my blessings things like just feeling good, being able to think clearly. Even when I make a simple, unimportant choice, like whether to order coffee or tea or a soft drink, may I be reminded that the power of choice is a gift from God. Today I Will Remember I am blessed with the freedom of choice. ****************************************** One More Day Where there’s music, there can be no evil. – Cervantes So many of us spent part of our childhoods glued to the radio, ears alert for our favorite stories and songs. Listening to music filled large parts of our days. The joy of music need not ever dim. We can let the song within our heart burst forth, unbidden, to warn the memories of our souls and the texture of the days. Bubbling to the surface of awareness, music can create a twinkly in the eyes and cause a smile to burst into full bloom even on the shiest person’s face. We can use the magic of music to uplift a bad mood or dissipate our sadness. While listening to music, we can, for a while, forget our problems. Loving music is a special source of happiness we can carry with us wherever we go. My warmest feelings can surface as I listen to or play music, and I can feel perfectly happy. ************************************ Food For Thought Failure If the OA program demanded perfection, then we would all be failures. Our goal is progress, not perfection, since none of us will ever be perfect. It is said that the only time we fail in OA is when we do not try again. When we stumble or slip in our physical abstinence or in our emotional and spiritual life (and the three are always interrelated), the important thing is to pick ourselves up and keep going. We may lose battles here and there, but if we rely on our Higher Power, we will win the war. None of us is free from temptation. Even when we abstain from compulsive overeating we may indulge in self-pity, envy, or anger. There is always the danger of pride and self-will. Perhaps it is through our failures that we become humble enough to seek and accept God's help. If we could manage by ourselves, we would have no need for a Higher Power. A failure is an opportunity to start again. From failure, may I humbly learn to walk more closely with You. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ UNITY ~ Separate needs are weak and easily broken; but bound together they are strong and hard to tear apart. The Midrash, Judaic Text For most of my life before coming into the program, I was a bit of a loner. I never had a lot of friends, perhaps because of my feelings of inadequacy, and was never good at sports, especially team sports. So I buried myself a lot in books, in academic achievements at which I excelled, mainly because I could do that on my own. I lived in a fantasy world where a knight in shining armor would come and rescue me, and my life would then be perfect. I had never even had a serious long-term relationship until I met my first husband, so it was hardly surprising that I made a bad choice and after having three children and much heartache, got divorced. When I first came into program, it was the first time I had ever felt part of a big group, and most importantly they all spoke my language. Their experiences were my experiences. These wonderful people became my family. There was, and still is, for me an incredible sense of belonging in the fellowship. No longer do I have to brave it on my own as there will always be someone on the other end of the line or in a meeting who can identify and share with me what I am going through. The strength that I feel when I come into the meeting rooms or speak to a fellow member on the phone is a powerful sustaining force for me that has helped me through countless difficult situations and continues to do so. One Day at a Time . . . I only need to reach out and join hands with others in the fellowship to gain the strength to do things I could never do before. It is only with their help, support and love that I am fully able to recover. ~ Sharon ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We wives found that, like everybody else, we were afflicted with pride, self-pity, vanity and the things which go to make up the self-centered person; and we were not above selfishness or dishonesty. As our husbands began to apply spiritual principles in their lives, we began to see the desirability of doing so too. - Pg. 116 - To Wives Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We are now learning to keep our thoughts in recovery and not in the insanity of the past. The easiest way to do this is to say the Serenity Prayer often, use the slogans even if we think they're stupid, go to meetings every day, read the literature, and TALK to other recovering chemical dependents. May my thoughts more and more be in recovery and less and less in the disease of the past. Courage I will develop the courage necessary to meet life. I cannot possibly meet the challenges of my life without courage. Today I understand that courage is something I develop. Each time I go through an experience that stretches me, each time I hold my own feet to the fire, each time I discipline myself and hold myself to a slightly higher standard than before, I grow inside, I get a little bit stronger, I strengthen my own courage to meet the next challenge. I will I will grow in courage. Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Have you ever found yourself saying, 'I can't believe this!' because things have gotten out of hand? You can't believe it because it's gotten out of your hand. This is the time to laugh at yourself for trying to control again-poke fun at the situation, your beliefs, whatever. Have fun. 'When things get goofy beyond belief, it's time to stop believing and get goofy.' ~Pat Samples, Daily Comforts for Caregivers - Tian Dayton PhD "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Resentments are like stray dogs: if you don't pet them, they will go away. Time for Joy - Book - Quote It is exciting to know that my thoughts and my actions in the present moment condition the next moment. I am responsible for my future. Today I am bringing awareness to my self-talk and replacing all negative thoughts with positive thoughts as soon as they appear on my mindscape. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote It's AA or Amen. - Anon.
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April 29
Daily Reflections GROUP AUTONOMY Some may think that we have carried the principle of group autonomy to extremes. For example, in its original "long form," Tradition Four declares: "Any two or three gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that as a group they have no other affiliation." . . . . But this ultra-liberty is not so risky as it looks. A.A. COMES OF AGE, pp. 104-05 As an active alcoholic, I abused every liberty that life afforded. How could A.A. expect me to respect the "ultra-liberty" bestowed by Tradition Four? Learning respect has become a lifetime job. A.A. has made me fully accept the necessity of discipline and that, if I do not assert it from within, then I will pay for it. This applies to groups too. Tradition Four points me in a spiritual direction, in spite of my alcoholic inclinations. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The A.A. program is one of faith, hope, and charity. It's a program of hope because when new members come into A.A., the first thing they get is hope. They hear older members tell how they had been through the same kind of he!! that they have and how they found the way out through A.A. And this gives them hope that if others can do it, they can do it. Is hope still strong in me? Meditation For The Day The rule of God's kingdom is perfect order, perfect harmony, perfect supply, perfect love, perfect honesty, perfect obedience. There is no discord in God's kingdom, only some things still unconquered in God's children. The difficulties of life are caused by disharmony in the individual man or woman. People lack power because they lack harmony with God and with each other. They think that God fails because power is not manifested in their lives. God does not fail. People fail because they are out of harmony with Him. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be in harmony with God and with other people. I pray that this harmony will result in strength and success. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It On The Broad Highway, p. 119 "I now realize that my former prejudice against clergymen was blind and wrong. They have kept alive through the centuries a faith which might have been extinguished entirely. They pointed out the road to me, but I did not even look up, I was so full of prejudice and self-concern. "When I did open my eyes, it was because I had to. And the man who showed me the truth was a fellow sufferer and a layman. Through him, I saw at last, and I stepped from the abyss to solid ground, knowing at once that my feet were on the broad highway if I chose to walk." Letter, 1940 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Remember the Past, but don't live in it. Living today. In some ways, the Twelve Step recovery process invites trouble in dealing with the past. We're supposed to forget the past and live for today. But the opening thoughts delivered at meetings often review the past in painful detail, thus reinforcing the tendency to relive it. How should we approach this problem? Our need is to remember the past while releasing any bitterness, regrets, or hurts connected with it. We must never live in the past, which we are doing when we feel either resentment or remorse about actions of others or ourselves. It is, however, helpful to remember what happened in the past so that we will no longer repeat the same mistakes. We should also remember the past as a means of keeping ourselves both humble and honest. It should help us feel gratitude that we no longer have to live as we once did. Remembering the past in open "lead" meetings is sometimes called "qualifying" as an alcoholic. It is an aid to carrying the message of recovery and a way of building more strength and understanding for today and tomorrow. I'll be pleased today that I can remember the past without living in it. I am free from the old hurts and problems that would keep me from directing all of my energies and attention to what I am doing here and now. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple I’m as pure as the driven slush.---Tallulad Bankhead The Steps are filled with words and phrases like shortcomings, exact nature of our wrongs, persons we had harmed, and when we were wrong. The Steps help us accept all parts of who we are. Our program asks us to share these parts of ourselves with others. We heal by doing this. It’s hard to talk about how wrong we can be, but we must. It’s part of how we recover. Remember, all of us have bad points. At times, we act like jerks. When we can talk about our mistakes, we end up having less shame inside of us. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to love and accept myself---as You love and accept me. Give me the courage to share all my secret wrongs. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll review my Fourth Step. If I haven’t done this Step, I’ll start today. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Love between two people is such a precious thing. It is not a possession. I no longer need to possess to complete myself. True love becomes my freedom. --Angela L. Wozniak Self-doubt fosters possessiveness. When we lack confidence in our own capabilities, when we fear we don't measure up as women, mothers, lovers, employees, we cling to old behavior, maybe to unhealthy habits, perhaps to another person. We can't find our completion in another person because that person changes and moves away from our center. Then we feel lost once again. Completion of the self accompanies our spiritual progress. As our awareness of the reality of our higher power's caring role is heightened, we find peace. We trust that we are becoming all that we need to be. We need only have faith in our connection to that higher power. We can let that faith possess us, and we'll never need to possess someone else. God's love is ours, every moment. Recognition is all that's asked of us. Acceptance of this ever-present love will make us whole, and self-doubt will diminish. Clinging to other people traps us as much as them, and all growth is hampered, ours and theirs. Freedom to live, to grow, to experience my full capabilities is as close as my faith. I will cling only to that and discover the love that's truly in my heart and the hearts of my loved ones. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back. This just isn’t so. In some cases the wife will never come back for one reason or another. Remind the prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God. We have seen men get well whose families have not returned at all. We have seen others slip when the family came back too soon. pp. 99-100 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short A few months after I made my original trip to Akron, I was feeling pretty cocky, and I didn't think my wife was treating me with proper respect, now that I was an outstanding citizen. So I set out to get drunk deliberately, just to teach her what she was missing. A week later I had to get an old friend from Akron to spend two days sobering me up. That was my lesson, that one could not take the moral inventory and then file it away; that the alcoholic has to continue to take inventory every day if he expects to get well and stay well. That was my only slip. It taught me a valuable lesson. In the summer of 1938, almost a year from the time I made my original contact with Akron, the man for whom I was working, and who knew about the program, approached me and asked if i could do anything about one of his salesmen who was drinking very heavily. I went to the sanitarium where this chap was incarcerated and found to my surprise that he was interested. He had been wanting to do something about his drinking for a long time but did know how. I spent several days with him, but I did not feel adequate to pass the program on to him by myself. So I suggested that he take a trip to Akron for a couple of weeks, which he did, living with one of the A.A. families there. When he returned, we had practically daily meetings from that time on. pp. 264-265 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Three - "The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking." As group after group saw these possibilities, they finally abandoned all membership regulations. One dramatic experience after another clinched this determination until it became our universal tradition. Here are two examples: On the A.A. calendar it was Year Two. In that time nothing could be seen but two struggling, nameless groups of alcoholics trying to hold their faces up to the light. p. 141 ************************************************** ********* The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open. --Dpurpleldy "A friend will see us at our worst, as well as our best. A friend will not close his or her heart when we have made a mistake. A friend will not condemn us but will compassionately support our return to a state of grace." --Marianne Williamson "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." --Carl Jung We must release the old to make room for the new. --Alan Cohen "People will come and go from my life. Today I'm trying to learn how to be the kind of person that I want to spend the rest of my life with." --Unknown "People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within." Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation ENJOYMENT "Man, unlike the animals, has never learned that the sole purpose of life is to enjoy it." --Samuel Butler Spirituality enables me to enjoy my life. I enjoy my sobriety. I enjoy the freedom of a "God as I understand Him". I enjoy the fellowship of ideas and opinions that are based on love and honest sharing. The world is to be enjoyed and not endured! God is fun. For years I thought that God was a judge to be feared; angry, hostile and revengeful. Strange how silly this all seems now, but for years I was afraid of God and feared His presence. Then I was introduced to a God who is beyond institutions and dogmas, free of creeds and punishments, a loving and joyous God who created me to be happy. Today I am enjoying my freedom. God, the Father of the Universe, is also "Daddy" to us all. ************************************************** ********* "The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth." Psalms 145:18 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has also forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration When someone makes you happy, let them know and you will both feel better. Lord, may Your love flow through me so that I can easily praise and encourage the goodness in others. To have a great day isn't always doing what you like, but trying to like what you must do. Lord, today I will spruce up my attitude and have a great day no matter what my circumstances. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today "What If...." "Living just for today relieves the burden of the past and the fear of the future. We learned to take whatever actions are necessary and to leave the results in the hands of our Higher Power." Basic Text, pp. 90-91 In our active addiction, fear of the future and what might happen was a reality for many of us. What if we got arrested? lost our job? our spouse died? we went bankrupt? and on, and on, and on. It was not unusual for us to spend hours, even whole days thinking about what might happen. We played out entire conversations and scenarios before they ever occurred, then charted our course on the basis of "what if..." By doing this, we set ourselves up for disappointment after disappointment. From listening in meetings, we learn that living in the present, not the world of "what if," is the only way to short-circuit our self-fulfilling prophecies of doom and gloom. We can only deal with what is real today, not our fearful fantasies of the future. Coming to believe that our Higher Power has only the best in store for us is one way we can combat that fear. We hear in meetings that our Higher Power won't give us more than we can handle in one day. And we know from experience that, if we ask, the God we've come to understand will surely care for us. We stay clean through adverse situations by placing our faith in the care of a Power greater than ourselves. Each time we do, we become less fearful of "what if" and more comfortable with what is. Just for today: I will look forward to the future with faith in my Higher Power. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. If there is a God, there must also be a Goddess. Neither is more important than the other, both are in balance, together they create a Whole. --Marion Weinstein In the olden days, the Goddess was seen as a Trinity: the Maiden or Virgin, the Mother, and the Crone. The Virgin was one-in-herself, owned by no man. The Mother was the one in the fullness of her creative powers, whether creating children, works of art, or other work out in the world. The Crone was the wise old woman. Both women and men connected with the Triple Goddess. To women, the Goddess was a symbol of their innermost selves and the beneficent, nurturing, liberating power within. The Crone, for example, showed them that all phases of life are sacred, that age is a blessing rather than a curse. To men, the Goddess represented their connection with their own hidden female selves. We are all made up of aspects of both sexes. This is our balance. When we accept what we know to be truly ourselves, which is often much more than the old role models for men and women allow, we become complete men and women. What male and female strengths do I have within me? You are reading from the book Touchstones. I've never started a fight, but I never pulled back from a fight either. --Billy Martin Sometimes we walk around with chips on our shoulders. We're like a tightly wound spring ready to jump at the slightest trigger, when other times we would let the same event go unnoticed. We even say self-righteously, "I didn't start it." Now that we are becoming more responsible for ourselves, we are owning our part in relationships. Maybe we have a problem with being like a spring ready to jump. When we are like that, we are difficult to live with or be around. We can change by getting in touch with our pain. We need to explore our feelings. Perhaps we need to be honest with ourselves about low self-esteem, about feelings of loneliness or fear. Then we must talk with another person or our group about our feelings and continue to talk about them. In this way we become reconciled to ourselves and to our friends around us. God, help me accept my own pain, and help me be tolerant of my friends' mistakes. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Love between two people is such a precious thing. It is not a possession. I no longer need to possess to complete myself. True love becomes my freedom. --Angela L. Wozniak Self-doubt fosters possessiveness. When we lack confidence in our own capabilities, when we fear we don't measure up as women, mothers, lovers, employees, we cling to old behavior, maybe to unhealthy habits, perhaps to another person. We can't find our completion in another person because that person changes and moves away from our center. Then we feel lost once again. Completion of the self accompanies our spiritual progress. As our awareness of the reality of our higher power's caring role is heightened, we find peace. We trust that we are becoming all that we need to be. We need only have faith in our connection to that higher power. We can let that faith possess us, and we'll never need to possess someone else. God's love is ours, every moment. Recognition is all that's asked of us. Acceptance of this ever-present love will make us whole, and self-doubt will diminish. Clinging to other people traps us as much as them, and all growth is hampered, ours and theirs. Freedom to live, to grow, to experience my full capabilities is as close as my faith. I will cling only to that and discover the love that's truly in my heart and the hearts of my loved ones. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Initiating Relationships Often, we can learn much about ourselves from the people to whom we are attracted. As we progress through recovery, we learn we can no longer form relationships solely on the basis of attraction. We learn to be patient, to allow ourselves to take into account important facts, and to process information about that person. What we are striving for in recovery is a healthy attraction to people. We allow ourselves to be attracted to who people are, not to their potential or to what we hope they are. The more we work through our family of origin issues, the less we will find ourselves needing to work through them with the people were attracted to. Finishing our business from the past helps us form new and healthier relationships. The more we overcome our need to be excessive caretakers, the less we will find ourselves attracted to people who need to be constantly taken care of. The more we learn to love and respect ourselves, the more we will become attracted to people who will love and respect us and who we can safely love and respect. This is a slow process. We need to be patient with ourselves. The type of people we find ourselves attracted to do not change overnight. Being attracted to dysfunctional people can linger long and well into recovery. That does not mean we need to allow it to control us. The fact is, we will initiate and maintain relationships with people we need to be with until we learn what it is we need to learn - no matter how long we've been recovering. No matter who we find ourselves relating to, and what we discover happening in the relationship, the issue is still about us, and not about the other person. That is the heart, the hope, and the power of recovery. We can learn to take care of ourselves during the process of initiating and forming relationships. We can learn to go slowly. We can learn to pay attention. We can allow ourselves to make mistakes, even when we know better. We can stop blaming our relationships on God, and begin to take responsibility for them. We can learn to enjoy the healthy relationships, and remove ourselves more quickly from the dysfunctional ones. We can learn to look for what's good for us, instead of what's good for the other person. God, help me pay attention to my behaviors during the process of initiating relationships. Help me take responsibility for myself and learn what I need to learn. I will trust that the people I want and need will come into my life. I understand that if a relationship is not good for me, I have the right and ability to refuse to enter into it - even though the other person thinks it may be good for him or her. I will be open to the lessons I need to learn about me in relationships, so I am prepared for the best possible relationships with people. It is exciting to know that my thoughts and my actions in the present moment condition the next moment. I am responsible for my future. Today I am bringing awareness to my self-talk and replacing all negative thoughts with positive thoughts as soon as they appear on my mindscape. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey To The Heart Comfort Makes Everything Better With comfort comes nurturing, genuine acceptance, and love. Comfort doesn’t involve any expense. It comes from the heart. It goes right to the heart. Look at how much better you feel when you receive comfort, when you comfort yourself, when you allow the universe to comfort you. Look at how those around you respond when you give comfort. A comforted person feels renewed. Healed. Genuinely okay. When you’re comforted, the pain and stress that has awakened you each morning dissipates. You open your eyes and feel happy to be here. Happy to be you. You know, really know, that all is well. Finally, you feel safe. When many of us were young, we ran to our mother, grandmother, or aunt to make a skinned knee, a bruised ego better. Now we are grown, but there’s another mother who can do that,too. Some call her the nurturing, feminine side of God. She is all that is in the universe, and in each of us, that is loving, tender, and gentle. And her comfort really does make everything better. Comfort heals. It brings joy to the spirit. Comfort renews power,vitality. Comfort opens you up like the sun unfolds the petals of a fragrant and beautiful flower. Simply put, comfort will make you and those around you happy. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Ask God what to do I was in treatment for chemical dependency. All I wanted to do was get high, cop some dope,do what I’d done for the past twelve years–obliterate myself. As a last ditch, almost hopeless gesture, I looked at the ceiling in my stark room, the place I had been assigned to sleep. I prayed, God, if there is a program to help me stop using, please help me get it. Twelve days later, sobriety fell down upon me, changing me at the very core of my being, altering the entire course of my life. I divorced my husband and took on the single-parenting and single-financing role, continuing to pursue my dream of being a writer. My kitchen cupboards were nearly bare of food. I’m not that hungry, but the children are, I prayed. “Don’t worry,” an angelic voice whispered in my ear. “Soon you’ll never have to worry about money again– unless you want to.” An immutable peace settled over me. No food or money fell from the sky. But the peace, a peace as tangible and thick as butter and as healing as the oils of heaven themselves, spread throughout my life. Years later, my son was stapped to a hospital bed. I touched his foot, his hand. I knew, despite the whooshing of the breathing apparatus, that he was not in that shell anymore. Then the plug got pulled. “No hope, no hope, no hope,” are the only words I can remember. Now, the whooshing sound turns to silence. I say good-bye, walk out of the room, just put one foot in front and walk. “Just pick me up, and get me some drugs,” I say to a friend, three days later. “I’ve got to have some relief from this pain.” Driving around in the car, hours later, I look at the fresh box of syringes on the seat next to me. “Tell me what you want to put in them,” he says. “Cocaine? Dilaudid? What?” His irritation is as obvious as my hopelessness. My mind runs through the routine. Dilaudid? A medical prescription. If I needed it, legitimately needed it, a doctor would prescribe it for me. No prayers. No hopes. Just simple words came out, this time. “Just take me home,” I said. “I don’t really want to get high.” Prayer changes things. Prayer changes us. Prayer changes life. Sometimes an event has been manifested that needs to be stopped, midair. Don’t pray just when you’re in trouble. Pray every day. Surround yourself with prayer. You never know when you might need an extra miracle. Today, if I’ve tried everything else, I’ll try prayer,too. ****************************************** In God’s Care Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth try. ~~James A. Michener The need to be an expert right away continues to cause many of us unnecessary pain. When we fail to do something perfectly on our first attempt, we often feel defeated and our self-esteem takes a dive. Working a Twelve Step program has taught us to expect spiritual progress, not perfection. With patient attention and perseverance we will reach the level of attainment we’re meant to reach in whatever we try. Lasting self-esteem comes when we remember to measure our worth by God’s unconditional love. We no longer have to prove anything to anyone. Each new day we seek God’s will for us; we accept our shortcomings; and we promptly admit when we’re wrong. We are thus free to enjoy our particular abilities and achievements as gifts from God. I will measure my accomplishments today by how much I enjoy making my best effort at whatever I do. The rest, I’ll turn over to God. ****************************************** Enlightenment at Home Right Where We Are by Madisyn Taylor Not everyone will feel the need to travel afar to become enlightened as that can happen right where you are. Many spiritual seekers feel called to far-flung places across the globe in the interest of pursuing the path of their enlightenment. This may indeed be the right course of action for certain people, but it is by no means necessary to attaining an enlightened consciousness. Enlightenment can take root anywhere on earth, as long as the seeker is an open and ready vessel for higher consciousness. All we need is a powerful intention, and a willingness to do the work necessary to moving forward on our path. In terms of spiritual practice, at this moment, there are more tools available to more people than at any other time in history. We have access to so much wisdom through the vehicles of books, magazines, the Internet, television, and film. In addition, the time-honored practice of meditation is free, and sitting quietly everyday, listening to the universe, is a great way to start the journey within. There is further inspiration in the fact that the greatest teachers we have are our own life experiences, and they come to us every day with new lessons and new opportunities to learn. If we look at the people around us, we may realize that we have a spiritual community already intact, and if we don’t, we can find one, if not in our own neighborhood, then on-line. Meanwhile, if we feel called to travel in search of teachers and experiences, then by all means, we should. But if we can’t go to India, or Burma, or Indonesia, or if we don’t have the desire, this is not an obstacle in terms of our spiritual development. In fact, we may simply be aware that our time and energy is best spent in our own homes, with our meditation practice and all the complications and joys of our own lives. We can confidently stay in one place, knowing that everything that we need to attain enlightenment is always available right where we are. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day As I grow in The Program — sharing, caring, and becoming more and more active — I find that it’s becoming easier to live in the Now. Even my vocabulary is changing. No longer is every other sentence salted with such well-used phrases as “could’ve,” “should’ve,” “would’ve,” “might’ve.” What’s done is done and what will be will be The only time that really matters is Now. Am I gaining real pleasure and serenity and peace in The Program? Today I Pray That I may collect all my scattered memories from the past and high-flown schemes and overblown fears for future and compact them into the neater confines of Today. Only by living in the Now may I keep my balance, without bending backwards to the past or tipping forward into the future. May I stop trying to get my arms around my whole unwieldy lifetime and carry it around in a gunny sack with me wherever I go. Today I Will Remember Make room for today. ****************************************** One More Day You grow up the day you have the first real laugh — at yourself. – Ethel Barrymore If we are always serious and never see the funny side of life, there will be no respite from our illness. It takes fewer muscles to laugh than to cry. We’ll breathe easier and deeper, and we’ll be much more content when we laugh. We can choose to pay attention to why other people are laughing and learn to laugh along with them. We can try everyday — even every hour — to find the positive or humorous side of life, for laughter helps us put things into perspective. It lends hope and meaning to life. I will open my eyes to the funny side of life and laugh with others. ************************************ Food For Thought Judge Not When we have received the gift of abstinence and have gotten rid of excess weight, we sometimes tend to be very critical of those who have not yet succeeded with the physical part of the program. We may also be especially critical of those who obviously need the OA program, but who are not yet willing to try it. Then there are some of us who resent those who come into the program with very little weight to lose or those who are of normal weight but nevertheless suffer from compulsive overeating. Instead of worrying about other people and trying to pronounce judgment on their needs and efforts, it would be better to concentrate on our own progress. Only God understands completely where we are at a given moment, and only He can judge our sincerity and growth. We can help and encourage each other, but we are each responsible to our Higher Power. To refrain from judging others is to stop trying to compare apples and oranges. We are each unique, and we grow according to our individual timetables. May I not waste time and energy judging others. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ GOODNESS ~ Above all, let us never forget that an act of goodness is in itself an act of happiness. Count Maurice Maeterlinck While in the disease, most of the goodness I tried to do was for ulterior motives. It was only in recovery that I learned to give unselfishly and without strings to help another. In doing so, I have found happiness beyond measure. I can create my own happiness in the service of my Higher Power and other compulsive over-eaters. I can make the promise of a "new happiness and a new freedom" come true. One Day at a Time . . . I will do acts of goodness. ~ Judy N. ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Remind the prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God. - Pg. 100 - Working With Others Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Often you may feel very human, very powerless, and question 'of what use are family, friends, suffering, humiliation, and trying to cope with this disease?' In the coming weeks, much rewriting will take place in the chapters of your mind and emotions. Try not to discard the many new drafts, but to edit them and learn the truths imprinted there. Keep me steadfast, as I adjust to the many new pages in the story of my life. Empowering My Own Day There are no victims, only volunteers. If there is something I don't like in the way things are going for me, I will see what I can change. I can change the subject if someone goes on and on about things that I don't want to talk about. I can change my routines and trade un-nourishing ones for nourishing ones, I can set boundaries with my time. My time is precious to me, it is all I have to call my very own. I won't throw it away and then blame someone else. I have a right to protect the quiet and pleasure in my day, to do more of those things that give me pleasure and fewer of things that run me down. If I am living up to my responsibilities, that is enough. I won't throw my time away with both hands - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote It is not your duty to solve other people's problems, arbitrate their disputes and raise their children. If you believe this is Twelve Step work, you will only be hurt when they reject your advice and shocked when they blame you for their troubles. My job is to carry the message, not deliver the drunk. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Not knowing, is not the problem. Not being OK with not knowing is the problem. Time for Joy - Book - Quote With every breath that I take, healing is taking place. I relax safely in the knowledge that positive, healing energy is working in my life today. I am being renewed and refreshed and energized. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote The primary problem for the alcoholic is ego - the primary solution is surrender. - Barney M.
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"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
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April 30
Daily Reflections A GREAT PARADOX These legacies of suffering and of recovery are easily passed among alcoholics, one to the other. This is our gift from God, and its bestowal upon others like us is the one aim that today animates A.A.'s all around the globe. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 151 The great paradox of A.A. is that I know I cannot keep the precious gift of sobriety unless I give it away. My primary purpose is to stay sober. In A.A. I have no other goal, and the importance of this is a matter of life or death for me. If I veer from this purpose I lose. But A.A. is not only for me; it is for the alcoholic who still suffers. The legions of recovering alcoholics stay sober by sharing with fellow alcoholics. The way to my recovery is to show others in A.A. that when I share with them, we both grow in the grace of the Higher Power, and both of us are on the road to a happy destiny. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The A.A. program is one of faith because we find that we must have faith in a Power greater than ourselves if we are going to get sober. We're helpless before alcohol, but when we turn our drink problem over to God and have faith that He can give us all the strength we need, then we have the drink problem licked. Faith in that Divine Principle in the universe which we call God is the essential part of the A.A. program. Is faith still strong in me? Meditation For The Day Each one of us is a child of God, and as such, we are full of the promise of spiritual growth. A young person is like the springtime of the year. The full time of the fruit is not yet, but there is promise of the blossom. There is a spark of the Divine in every one of us. Each has some of God's spirit that can be developed by spiritual exercise. Know that your life is full of glad promise. Such blessings can be yours, such joys, such wonders, as long as you develop in the sunshine of God's love. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may develop the divine spark within me. I pray that by so doing I may fulfill the promise of a more abundant life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Word Of Mouth, p. 120 "In my view, there isn't the slightest objection to groups who wish to remain strictly anonymous, or to people who think they would not like their membership in A.A. known at all. That is their business, and this is a very natural reaction. "However, most people find that anonymity to this degree is not necessary, or even desirable. Once one is fairly sober, and sure of this, there seems no reason for failing to talk about A.A. membership in the right places. This has a tendency to bring in other people. Word of mouth is one of our most important communications. "So we should criticize neither the people who wish to remain silent, nor even the people who wish to talk too much about belonging to A.A., provided they do not do so at the public level and thus compromise our whole Society." Letter, 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Addicted to Crisis___Personal Relations It's sometimes a surprise to learn that we mismanage our affairs even in sobriety. We may even find that we seem to be addicted to problem situations. It takes a crisis, it seems, to give us the energy and purpose we need to get things done. One common form of this strange addiction is procrastination. Some of us have a tendency to put off important tasks until the very last moment, and then work overtime to get the job done. Is this laziness? Maybe it is, to some extent. Maybe, however, we need an impending emergency to get motivated and energized to do what needs to be done. Maybe we're addicted to crisis. If so, this may be another disease that can be arrested but not cured. We arrest it by slowly adopting better work habits and paying closer attention to schedules and deadlines. Working with greater efficiency, we'll have more time and energy for the things that really matter. Today I don't need a crisis to take charge of my life and do what needs to be done. I'll tackle at least one thing I've been putting off, and either complete the task or get a good start on it. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple When you want to be something, it means you really love it.---Andy Warhol At times, we turned to chemicals because we couldn't love ourselves. Our addiction gave a promise of relief, but it gave us self-hate. We wanted to love, but couldn't. What is it we really love ? Where should we put out energy ? In raising children ? In creating art ? In helping addicts who still suffer ? There's much in this world that needs our love. We can be many things in our lives. Let's be people we believe in. Let's be people we can love. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me know myself through my inventories. My skills, talents, values, and my loves must be clear to me so I can use them to do Your will. Action for the Day: Today I'll think about what I'd really love to do through my work. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Accustomed as we are to change, or unaccustomed, we think of a change of heart, of clothes, of life, with some uncertainty. --Josephine Miles Being used to a situation, even a painful one, carries with it a level of comfort. Moving away from the pain, changing the situation, be it job, home, or marriage, takes courage and support from other persons. But even more it takes faith that the change will benefit us. For most of us, the pain will need to worsen. In retrospect, we wonder why it took us so long. We forget, from one instance to the next, that a new door cannot open until we've closed one behind us. The more important fact is that a new one will always open without fail. The pain of the old experience is trying to push us to new challenges, new opportunities, new growth. We can handle the change; we can handle the growth. We are never given more than we can handle, and we are always given just what we need. Experience can't prepare us for the ramifications of a new change. But our trust in friends, and our faith in the spiritual process of life, can and will see us through whatever comes. If a change of any kind is facing me today, I will know that I am not alone. Whatever I am facing is right for me and necessary to my well-being. Life is growth. The next stage of my life awaits me. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen. When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned. Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances! p. 100 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short A few months later one of the men who had been in touch with the groups in Akron came to Chicago to live, and then there were three of us who continued to have informal meetings quite regularly. p. 265 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Three - "The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking." A newcomer appeared at one of these groups, knocked on the door and asked to be let in. He talked frankly with that group's oldest member. He soon proved that his was a desperate case, and that above all he wanted to get well. "But," he asked, "will you let me join your group? Since I am the victim of another addiction even worse stigmatized than alcoholism, you may not want me among you. Or will you?" There was the dilemma. What should the group do? The oldest member summoned two others, and in confidence laid the explosive facts in their laps. Said he, "Well, what about it? If we turn this man away, he'll soon die. If we allow him in, only god knows what trouble he'll brew. What shall the answer be - yes or no?" pp. 141-142 ************************************************** ********* The only real win, is the win of tapping into the spirit. --Oprah Winfrey Getting sober is like learning to ride a horse, if you fall off, get back on, you can't learn to ride on the ground. --Patricia D "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." --Albert Einstein "Success is living up to your potential. That's all. Wake up with a smile and go after life … Live it, enjoy it, taste it, smell it, feel it." --Joe Kapp "As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey." --Thomas A. Edison I embrace the lightness I feel when I trust, and give all of me to God. --SweetyZee No matter the storm... when you're with God there's always a rainbow waiting. Remember, God answers knee-mail! --Anonymous Men trip not on mountains! They trip on molehills. --Chinese Proverb Wish not so much to live long, as to live well. --Benjamin Franklin ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation ORIGINALITY "Originality does not consist in saying what no one has ever said before, but in saying exactly what you think yourself." --James Stephens Sometimes I surprise myself with what I say, think or contemplate. Within my being is a very strange world that I wish to share with others. Why? Because if I am truly honest about what I think and feel, it may unite me with the true identity of others. Perhaps we are all a little strange! However I will never know what people are thinking or feeling unless I take a risk and share my honest feelings. My involvement with my fellow man revolves around my honesty. In the knowledge of Your love let me share my feelings. ************************************************** ********* Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23 Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:3-4 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Each day guide your thoughts and actions so that you may set God's will above your own. Lord, may Your will be my will. No matter what you must confront today, know that God is with you. Lord, today is part of Your plan for me. I do not doubt You and therefore I will not doubt You within me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today God Does For Us "Ongoing recovery is dependent on our relationship with a loving God who cares for us and will do for us what we find impossible to do for ourselves." Basic Text, p. 96 How often have we heard it said in meetings that "God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves?" At times we may get stuck in our recovery, unable, afraid, or unwilling to make the decisions we know we must make to move forward. Perhaps we are unable to end a relationship that just isn't working. Maybe our job has become a source of too much conflict. Or perhaps we feel we need to find a new sponsor but are afraid to begin the search. Through the grace of our Higher Power, unexpected change may occur in precisely the area we felt unable to alter. We sometimes allow ourselves to become stuck in the problem instead of moving forward toward the solution. At these times, we often find that our Higher Power does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Perhaps our partner decides to end our relationship. We may get fired or laid off. Or our sponsor tells us that he or she can no longer work with us, forcing us to look for a new one. Sometimes what occurs in our lives can be frightening, as change often seems. But we also hear that "God never closes a door without opening another one." As we move forward with faith, the strength of our Higher Power is never far from us. Our recovery is strengthened by these changes. Just for today: I trust that the God of my understanding will do for me what I cannot do for myself. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears. --John Vance Cheney If there were no rain, fields would become parched and brittle, and many creatures would die. If we could not cry, all our emotions would eventually dry up, too, and soon we would not laugh either. Our tears cleanse us. Our tears heal. They make us whole. Tears are as important to our growth as rain is to a flower. They help release the pressure of sadness so we can feel better. After a storm, when the sun shines again through the clouds, a brightly colored rainbow appears. After our tears, our inner sun shines, and rainbows are formed from our pain. How well can I accept my tears as part of my happiness today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action not reaction. --Rita Mae Brown All men in recovery confront their reactive habits in relationships. Whether we came to recovery as a codependent or as an addict, we soon must face how much other people's behavior has been a cue for our own reactions. There is always a three-part process in any reaction first, the other person's behavior; second, a moment of choosing a response; and third, our reaction. But in our spiritual slavery, we don't notice the choice stage. It feels automatic. It may feel as though "the other person made me do it." No amount of changing on someone else's part can change us. We are becoming more responsible for our own lives and for our own behavior regardless of others around us. There is liberation in noticing the choice stage. It is tough to follow through on our choices, but when we do, it is truly a sign of a grown man. Then a remarkable thing happens - our self-esteem rises. Today, I will pause to notice the choices I have in the moment between someone's action and my reaction. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Accustomed as we are to change, or unaccustomed, we think of a change of heart, of clothes, of life, with some uncertainty. --Josephine Miles Being used to a situation, even a painful one, carries with it a level of comfort. Moving away from the pain, changing the situation, be it job, home, or marriage, takes courage and support from other persons. But even more it takes faith that the change will benefit us. For most of us, the pain will need to worsen. In retrospect, we wonder why it took us so long. We forget, from one instance to the next, that a new door cannot open until we've closed one behind us. The more important fact is that a new one will always open without fail. The pain of the old experience is trying to push us to new challenges, new opportunities, new growth. We can handle the change; we can handle the growth. We are never given more than we can handle, and we are always given just what we need. Experience can't prepare us for the ramifications of a new change. But our trust in friends, and our faith in the spiritual process of life, can and will see us through whatever comes. If a change of any kind is facing me today, I will know that I am not alone. Whatever I am facing is right for me and necessary to my well-being. Life is growth. The next stage of my life awaits me. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Balance The goal is balance. We need balance between work and play. We need balance between giving and receiving. We need balance in thought and feelings. We need balance in caring for our physical self and our spiritual self. A balanced life has harmony between a professional life and a personal life. There may be times when we need to climb mountains at work. There may be times when we put extra energy into our relationships. But the overall picture needs to balance. Just as a balanced nutritional diet takes into account the realm of our nutritional needs to stay healthy, a balanced life takes into account all our needs: our need for friends, work, love, family, play, private time, recovery time, and spiritual time- -time with God. If we get out of balance, our inner voice will tell us. We need to listen. Today, I will examine my life to see if the scales have swung too far in any area, or not far enough in some. I will work toward achieving balance. As I start this day with quiet meditation, I feel myself becoming still and at peace. At any time during the day I can bring my mind back to this moment. I will bring my attention and awareness back to the peace that I have when I am with my breath and I know that my breath is with me at all times, whether I remember it or not. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey To The Heart Awaken Your Healing Powers From the traditional to the alternative, healers and healing energy can take many forms. Masseuses. Hypnotists. Chiropractors. Medical doctors. Herbalists. Each may have a touch of healing to bring to us at just the right time and place. But the power to transmit healing energy isn’t limited to those who work in hospitals or have mastered the ancient Chinese art of acupuncture. We each have the power to transmit healing energy to others and ourselves, regardless of our profession. We each have the ability to awaken that power and use it in the world around us through our chosen field of work. The man at the deli knows his customers’ names and the details of their lives, then greets them with a warm, sincere, and healing smile. The woman who decorates homes takes time to get to know enough about her clients so that the colors and objects in the home reflect where they are on their spiritual paths. Friends and family members heal by using their gifts of intuition and speech to gently encourage and empower, their gift of though to transmit healing messages, and their gift of touch to rub a stiff neck or sore shoulder. There are many ways each of us can creatively figure out how to incorporate and channel our healing powers into our daily life. See your favorite healer when you need to. On your path, be open to discovering new healers and combinations of practices that work for you. But don’t limit who can bring healing into your life. Remember that you’re a healer,too. Healing energy is the energy of love. Learn to let it flow through you. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Use a gentle touch There’s a force out there, whether you call it destiny or use some other words, that brings people together who are meant to be together. It’s the butterfly story. If you hold a butterfly too tightly in your hands, you take all the oil off its wings and it can’t fly. You can have the butterfly that way, but the butterfly can’t be a butterfly. If you really love a butterfly, you won’t rub all the oil off its wings just so you can clutch it in your hands. If you really love something or someone, don’t hold on too tightly. Let that person be free. Let people be who they are. Don’t rub the oil off the butterfly’s wings. Let it fly back to you on its own. God, help me learn to use a gentle touch with everyone I love. ****************************************** In God’s Care Man must cease atributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will – his personal responsibility in the realm of faith and morals. ~~Albert Schweitzer There’s a tendency to blame people, places, and things for our problems. After all, no one as smart as us could get into so much trouble without outside help. We have to quit assessing blame and take responsibility for our own actions. Most of the trouble we get into is the result of ignoring the guidance of our Higher Power. Others may be ignoring their own inner guidance, but that’s their concern, not ours. Because all people are equal in God’s eyes, when we blame others for our problems, we are really hurting ourselves. Looking for someone to blame for a problem only prolongs the solution and puts distance between us and God. Blame is a hindrance to our spiritual progress. When things seem to be going wrong, I have no one to blame. I will make conscious cantact with God and, there, learn what to do. ****************************************** Protecting Your Flow How Fear Blocks Creativity by Madisyn Taylor When we are feeling creatively blocked, it is usually our own fear that is creating that block. To understand how fear blocks creativity, take a moment to imagine yourself telling a story. First, imagine telling the story to someone you love and who loves you. You probably feel warmth and energy as you fill in the details of your tale to your friend’s delight. Now, imagine telling the same story to someone who, for whatever reason, makes you uncomfortable. The wonderful twists and turns, the fine points and colorful images that unfolded in your mind for your friend probably won’t present themselves. Instead of warmth, energy, and creativity, you will probably feel opposite sensations and a desire to close down. When we feel unsafe, whether we fear being judged, disliked, or misunderstood, our creative flow stops. Alternately, when we feel safe, our creativity unfolds like a beautiful flower, without conscious effort. Knowing this, we can maximize our creative potential by creating the conditions that inspire our creativity. In order to really be in the flow, we need to feel safe and unrestricted. However, achieving this is not as simple as avoiding people who make us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we can be alone in a room and still feel totally blocked. When this happens, we know we have come up against elements in our own psyches that are making us feel fearful. Perhaps we are afraid that in expressing ourselves we will discover something we don’t want to know, or unleash emotions or ideas that we don’t want to be responsible for. Or maybe we’re afraid we’ll fail to produce something worthy. When you’re up against fear, internal or external, ritual can be a powerful—and creative—antidote. Before you sit down to be creative, try casting a circle of protection around yourself. Visualize yourself inside a ring of light, protective fire, or angels. Imagine that this protective energy emanates unconditional love for you and wants to hear, see, and feel everything you have to express. Take a moment to bathe in the warmth of this feeling and then fearlessly surrender yourself to the power that flows through you. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We’re taught in The Program that “faith without works is dead.” How true this is for the addicted person. For if an addicted person fails to perfect or enlarge his or her spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, s/he can’t survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If s/he doesn’t work, s/he’ll surely return to his or her addiction; and if s/he returns to addiction, s/he’ll likely die. Then faith will be dead indeed. Do I believe, through my faith, that I can be uniquely useful to those who still suffer? Today I Pray May my faith in my Higher Power and in the influence of The Program be multiplied within me as I pass it along to others who are overcoming similar addictions. May I be certain that my helping others is not simply repaying my debts, but it is the only way I know to continue my spiritual growth and maintain my own sobriety. Today I Will Remember The more faith I can give, the more I will have. ****************************************** One More Day Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. –Helen Keller It’s easy to become overwhelmed with day-to-day pain and annoyance of a chronic medical condition. We try hard, but every now and again our perspective gets knocked off center. We may begin to think only in terms of sickness and pain. Sometimes it’s difficult to find a kind thought or a warm spot for ourselves. If we shadow our lives with pain, frustration, and scorn we will not be able to relax within the quiet confines of our days. Eachh day is new and fresh, and it’s up to us to welcome it with joy and gratitude. It’s up to us to overcome the obstacles to our happiness. Today, I take the responsibility for my own happiness. ************************************ Food For Thought Waiting and Acting Do you seem to have spent much of your life waiting for something? Waiting for Santa Claus, waiting to grow up, waiting to get married, waiting for children, a better job, etc., etc. When we join OA, we wait for the time when we will be thin, thinking that surely then everything will be as we want it to be. It is important that we begin to live more fully now, rather than projecting our satisfaction into an indefinite future. Rather than waiting for tomorrow, let's obey our inner voice today. Rather than reaching for another bite that we do not need, let's enjoy the measured meal that we have in front of us. Instead of waiting to be thin, let's become more active now, even if all we do is go for a walk around the block. There are some things that require patient waiting. But there are other things which we need to make happen now by taking action. Lord, grant me the wisdom to know when to wait and when to act. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ SPIRITUAL RECOVERY ~ There is a time to let things happen and a time to make things happen. Hugh Prather One of the many facets of the disease of compulsive overeating, in my experience, has been the inability to make a positive change in my choice of foods without using the spiritual steps of recovery. Prior to coming into program, I would plan, pray, and write down what I wanted to do, but change never happened permanently. Looking back, it seems that I was really trying to make things happen, but I was trying to do it without the spiritual guidance and strength of this program through my Higher Power. I didn't have all the spiritual pieces needed to make the almost impossible changes inside myself before the physical changes could happen. There are many tools of the program, such as sponsorship, a food plan, food abstinence, and practicing the spiritual program through actively working the Twelve Steps. I have learned through failure that I must actively work the steps of the program. I can't just let things happen in my recovery in regard to step work, because then the disease will win. When I daily commit to working the steps to the best of my ability, this brings me the spiritual recovery that allows physical and emotional recovery as well. I cannot make the spiritual recovery happen, since that action belongs only to my Higher Power. What I can do is to take the action by doing the step work, and from there leave the outcome in my Higher Power's hands. One Day at a Time . . . I will strive to work the Twelve Steps to the best of my ability, and let things happen in my Higher Power's time. ~ Ohitika ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one. - Pg. 67 - How It Works Hour To Hour - Book - Quote When you look ahead, you may get discouraged. What will you do without your drug of choice and all the rituals that accompany its use? Yet, living in tomorrow is not only non-productive, you can't do it except in your head. Live in your body; live in today. What must you do in this 24 hours to handle matters and take care of your fragile emotions? Creator of all that is, reveal to me what is necessary for this 24 hours. Help me focus on now, what is real, and not a future that only exists in my head. Sincerity I will be sincere. I will pray with a true heart. I will greet life and the gifts it gives me with an appreciative heart. Today I will not ask life to be something I am not willing to be. I won't ask the world to shower blessings onto me that I am not willing to deserve by my own right action. I will be the goodness I wish to have - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote If you don't stand for something, they say you will fall for anything. Do you stand up for recovery? Do you stand up for principle? Do you stand up for the Traditions, Steps, and Fellowship? United we stand; divided we stagger. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Trying is what got you drunk; doing is what keeps you sober. Time for Joy - Book - Quote As I start this day with quiet meditation, I feel myself becoming still and at peace. At any time during the day I can bring my mind back to this moment. I will bring my attention and awareness back to the peace that I have when I am with my breath and I know that my breath is with me at all times, whether I remember it or not. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder. - Phil E.
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"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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