We Do Recover

[MajestyJo]

As we say in the meetings, the last three letters of these words spell TRY. That is all we are asked to do.

We live this program one day at a time, and we try our best to stay clean and sober for just one day. Many think of sober as not being drunk, for me it means soundness of mind. After all, alcohol is a drug.

When we come into recovery, all we are asked to bring with us is a desire to stop using, nothing more, nothing less. It is suggested that you do 90 meetings in 90 days, listen and see if you can identify, find the people who have what you want, and find yourself a sponsor and a home group. They will direct you on a path of recovery which helped them and share their experience, strength and hope. Hopefully, you will find something there that will help you.

We can't go back, so hopefully, in today, we can all try one day at a time to live and share in the moment.

Just for today, I choose not to use.

[MajestyJo]

Do you look back and remember
When your life was living Hell?
When denial and deception reined.
Hopelessness was the outer shell?
Does that time in your life remain clear in your mind?
Reminders of powerlessness and fear that you find
To ahunt you; to discourage you; to drive you insane?

Then search down inside yourself and see if you can find
that unique and special person who is hiding just behind
All the anger, guilt, and resentment seething below
Or behind the many masks you allow the world to know.

An option is to take a risk and to set that person free
To take a step to freedom and to let the whole world see
The genuine, honest person you are desperately trying to be
But the choices that must be made, are left to you indeed
If the goal that you have set is for recovery to succeed.

So get back to basics; take it one day at a time
Remember easy does it; and Thy will be done; not mine.
And if you have slipped and had a fall,
And you feel as if you have lost it all?
Remember that you are human,
Mistakes are often made
To continue on this rocky road willend up in the trade
Of a life filled with promises, serenity and care
For a life filled with devastation, depression and despair.

Now, get back down to basics; and get right back on track
Learn how to focus, and not just to react
And begin to forgive yourself, so you can bring you back
To the road to sobriety, with recovery intact.

I think this is from Lois Stargrett. I know her work and I have copied a lot of it. I got this from another site and felt like sharing it. Whenever I am hurting, I know, that is what I need to do, get back to basics.

[MajestyJo]

DEAR DRINK,


There you are my dear old friend.

Stayed with me till the bitter end.

I still remember when we met,

The day I fell into your net.

You made me feel like I belonged

To dance with courage, sing a song.

We did it all just for kicks,

Always snagged the prettiest chicks.

What fun we had amongst each other.

My best friend, my soul brother.

With you, I fell in love with life.

And likewise with my lovely wife.

What joy, when each child was born.

Life was good; not a thing to morn.

What a feeling with our first car.

And the thrill of owning our very own bar.

We had it all, with nothing to dread.

A brand new home and a cushy bed.

Respected members of society

Marching so far from sobriety.

Living a life I could never believe.

But devious you, had tricks up your sleeve.

I had it all; too blind to see.

You easily took it all from me.

Such a sneaky son of a gun.

You made me think I was having fun.

Your firm grip, held me sure.

Life falling apart, my mind in a blur.

I finally awoke amid all the wreckage.

Doing your bidding, a good dog who fetches.

Tried running fast and as far as I could.

But always came back like you knew I would.

You dragged me down to the depths of hell.

Pulling me back when I thought I was well.

Yes my friend, if you had your thunder.

I'd be broken, lying six feet under.

Guess what you bastard? I'm still alive.

And I've found what I need so I can survive.

Yes you gave me one hell of a ride.

Now you must run; now you must hide.

I walk tall with my head held high.

With you gone, I don't live that lie.

I have new friends and places to meet

Where you're not welcome to take a seat.

I found peace, met serenity.

My cleansed soul is a new entity.

I have a Big Book to keep you at bay.

I have a new Guide to show me the way.

My Higher Power's more powerful than you,

Who loves me no matter what you do.

I've been freed from the bondage of self,

Earning something far greater than wealth.

So don't even think of returning, you fool.

For your every trick, I now have a tool.

I'm getting it back, all that you cost.

God has replaced you, Addiction get lost.

Not truly yours,

Mac

[MajestyJo]

[MajestyJo]

The first step to forgiveness

"To get to forgiveness, we first have to work through the painful experiences that require it."

-- Christiane Northrup

To forgive, we do not have to say that whatever happened was okay. In fact, before we can forgive, we need to allow ourselves to really feel the pain of the experience. If we don’t fully acknowledge our hurts, we will continue to carry them subconsciously and they will drain our energy.

To forgive, we need to decide that we won’t allow the memories of the event to poison us any longer. We’re ready to heal this wound from the past and open to a fresh new beginning.

The blessing is that when we’re really ready to experience our pain and we open to it, it usually fades away. By honouring our pain, we release it.

"We must let ourselves feel all the painful destruction we want to forgive rather than swallow it in denial. If we do not face it, we cannot choose to forgive it."

-- Kenneth McNoll

Higher Awareness - used with permission

Before I could truly forgive others, I had to forgive myself. As the slogan says, "Let it begin with me."

[MajestyJo]

"Freedom to change seems to come after acceptance of ourselves." NA Basic Text. p. 56


Fear and denial are the opposites of acceptance. None of us are perfect, even in our own eyes; all of us have certain traits that, given the chance, we would like to change. We sometimes become overwhelmed when contemplating how far short we fall of our ideals, so overwhelmed that we fear there's no chance of becoming the people we'd like to be. That's when our defence mechanism of denial kicks in, taking us to the opposite exreme: nothing about ourselves needs changing, we tell ourselves, so why worry? Neither extreme gives us the freedom to change.

Whether we are long-time NA members or new to recovery, the freedom to change is acquired by working the Twelve Steps. When we admit our powerlesness and the unmanageability of our lives, we counteract the lie that says we don't have to change. In coming to believe that a Power greater than we are can help us, we lose our fear that we are damaged beyond repair; we come to believe we can change. We turn ourselves over to the care of the God of our understanding and tap the strength we need to make a thorough, honest examination of ourselves. We admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being what we've found. We accept the good and the bad in ourselves; with this acceptance, we become free to change.

Just for today: I want to change. By working the steps, I will counter fear and denial and find the acceptance need to change.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

For many years I looked at life through rose-coloured glasses. If I didn't see it, it wasn't there. I certainly wasn't willing to look at myself, so it was much easier to put the blinders on, and exist in life with tunnel vision. When I got jolted into reality, I had to ask myself, "Am I really that bad?" The answer was, "Yes! You are!" It was only then that I was able to reach out and ask for help. Before I quit smoking and had an honest desire to do so, I would say to my sponsor, friend and my aunt, "If you are going to pray for me, do so quietly, so I don't hear you; because when I hear, it just adds to my attitude, don't tell me, don't show me, don't say I can,t - WATCH ME!"

Recovery for me has been a change in attitude. Getting rid of the denial of who I was, what I had become, and being open to change.

I can't make the change until I can find the acceptance....

[MajestyJo]

"Our newly found faith serves as a firm foundation for courage in the future."

Basic Text, p. 93


This reminded my of how important it was to me to build a foundation of support on which to build on and see me through the rough times. I had sponsors, co-sponsors, spiritual advisors and counselors along with them members of the fellowship.

I had a belief in the Fellowship and well as the God who I came to believe in.

Someone recently said to me: "Don't forget the Power!"

What is your Source! What is your foundation! What works for you?

My journey has been one of personal enlightenment along the way. It comes from many sources and yet I believe it is one God who governs all.

[MajestyJo]

Let go of blame

"My days of whining and complaining about others have come to an end. Nothing is easier than fault finding."

-- Og Mandino

We often expect other people to meet our needs. When they don’t give us what we want, we may feel anger, resentment and even revengeful. Rather than blaming others, we could choose to get in touch with our needs and then fill them ourselves.

"Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame."

-- Erica Jong

"Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrong."

-- Charlotte Bronte

- Higher Awareness

Was just sharing with a member tonight of how we need to build a relationship with our God, our sponsor, and with ourselves, before we get into a relationship with another. How can we tell someone what we need, if we don't know ourselves.

I almost died from playing the blame game. I continued that game relationship after relationship, and the last guy got all the sins of those who had gone before him, because I didn't know how to grieve, forgive, and let go.

As the Al-Anon slogan says, "Let it begin with me." It isn't about the other person, it is about me and living clean and sober myself.

I can hide and not look at my own program, if I hide in others. It is good to do service, but I need to top myself up each day. I can't give away what I don't have.

[MajestyJo]

We need to accept we are incomplete and imperfect human beings. Recovery will come, not from shame, but from honestly accepting our powerlessness and the help we need.

This is a quote from an old post made four years ago on relapse.

It is amazing how a light can go on when you read or hear someone else's wisdom. They just seem to put into words what I am thinking or trying to say but in words that are clear and bring a new spiritual awareness.

Relapse happens with the thinking long before I pick up a substance that takes me out of the reality of today. Thankfully for me it hasn't been a drug or a drink, and yet I can pick up things that lead to that same old soul sickness and way of thinking.

I can't give away what I don't have. I can't share on recovery if I am still not recovering. What I did 25 years ago, 8 months ago or even 16 days ago, won't keep me sober (soundness of mind) in today.

Today I don't feel shame in who I am. There are days I feel shame for others but that is none of my business and is something I have to detach from.

How many times I have thought "I am embarrassed for them!"

"If they could only see themselves, would they continue...."

I am powerless and when I don't accept that my life becomes unmanageable. When I think I am the power, my life becomes unmanageable; and it isn't until I surrender and get honest, that I can restore that manageability. When I surrender, I am empowered to help myself which brings me back to being God-centered instead of Self-centered.

[MajestyJo]

Today, I will let go of my fears about trusting myself. I am willing to make decisions, no matter what the outcome may be.

The past does not dictate the future. Be willing to make
mistakes, and open to learning from them.
---------------------------------------------------------
Today, I am able to grow and change.

There are times when someone you love may not be growing and changing alongside you. You can still continue to progress,
no matter what others are not doing. To progress, we must continue, no matter what.
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Today, I will choose to be alive and to enjoy the everyday adventure of living.

It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile, and you can't smile and frown at the same time. Try it in front of a mirror.
You'll see.

received from Inspiration Plus


This was received from a friend a long time ago and posted to one of my sites.

It reminds me that life is often about how I perceive myself and how willing I am to change. If I am caught up in negative thinking and think I there is nothing wrong with me or I think I am unworthy and undeserving of recovery, then I can't make a true attempt at the Steps to make the changes.

Realized this could go in either recovery section. It is important to look in the mirror, get honest, and take responsibility and take charge of my life.

Through trusting my Higher Power, I can learn to trust myself and know that I am not alone and if He brings me to it, He will see me through it.

Old post of mine posted in 2010 from another site.

Always believed in God, didn't think He believed in me, so didn't have a lot of trust that He would be on my side. Life didn't seem to be too heavenly, for the most part, it was a living h*ll. I didn't trust God, so how could I trust myself.

[MajestyJo]

Learned to trust my God by the little things in life. When I added them all up, they became big things. My God working in my life, doing for me what I couldn't do for myself.

Not all fears have gone, but over the years I have overcome a lot of them, like fear of storms, bridges, grates, saying the wrong thing and doing the wrong thing. I have had major healing within myself, so how can I not believe.

Catching my blessings one by one.

[MajestyJo]

I like to look at the old posts. I can see the growth or the lapse in my thinking and allows me to take a good look at myself. It is nice to see that you still think the same today as when you originally posted. The talk coming from my fingers has not changed and has remained constant. I still have the pain, still working through it and not using.

Recover is progress, not perfection. The nice thing is, that even when I make a mistake, it is progress. It is a lesson learned.

If it wasn't progress, not perfection, I would have failed and left a long time ago. If the old me, Ms Perfection hadn't handed over her rains to God, I would not have gotten very far and would probably have given up and retreated.

Posted as Caressa in 2010

[MajestyJo]

Progress not perfection, doesn't mean I should be still accepting old ways after being in the program for so many years. I was one of the really sick ones, so I did have a lot of work to do. It does take daily maintenance though and that is where Steps 10, 11, & 12 come in. Practice these principles in all our affairs, the principles we learned doing the first 9 Steps.

Say progress not perfection, doesn't mean I have to do things perfectly, but what I do in today should be much better than when I came into recovery. I can beat myself up in falling short in my expectations let alone all the mistakes I have made to get to where I am in today.

Maybe my perception is off. It is a disease of perception. I try to make apoint of asking for it to be healed if I find it a little bit out of kilter.

The Swan means grace. But for the grace of God, I would not be here in today.

[MajestyJo]

Each Day a New Beginning

One doesn't recognize in one's life the really important moments--not until it's too late. --Agatha Christie

Every moment is special and offers us an opportunity--to let an experience change us in an important way, to invite another person into our life, to nurture the growing, changing woman within. Life's events move so rapidly we seldom relish the moments individually, but each day teems with tiny gifts divinely designed for our well-being. The woman smiled at in the grocery store yesterday or the man acknowledged on the bus last week felt special. And we were softened, too, by our expression.

We change, and we change our world when we acknowledge one another's presence in it. The wonderful reality is that we are in another's world because of the special qualities we each have and are able to share with one another.

For many of us, in times past, no moment felt important. The days were simply long and painful. But now, we can relish even the past pain for what it taught us. We know now that we can look to this day before us with expectation. We can be conscious of every moment, thankful for every experience and every person we encounter.

In this inner game of life, I share the court, and I will have my turn to serve. To really live, I must participate fully.

Like this, I think of the word we use to see a lot of a few years ago, "participaction." I have to taken an active part in my life. I can't just sit there and let the world pass me by.

[MajestyJo]

Trust the Process of Growth

Be patient with yourself. It takes time to work out issues, to work through things. It takes time to learn lessons. The more important the lesson, the longer the cycle to work it out and work it through.

We may live in a technical age, but our souls aren't technical. They're still connected to nature. We grow and change as nature does. Learn her ways. Study her seasons and cycles, and know those same seasons and cycles are in each of us. The process of change is like planting a seed and watching it grow and bloom into a flower.

What are you trying to develop? A project? A change in yourself? Is there something new you're learning, trying to do? Are you trying to adjust to a major change in your life? Is there an old habit you're struggling to let go of? A love relationship or friendship you're hoping to begin or attempting to end?

Each stage of the process of growth and change is important. From those first moments when we see the idea, or the change begins, to those long moments of nurturing and nourishing the idea, each stage counts. Is there a change in your life that's begun, one you've started to notice? Are you thinking about it a lot, talking about it a lot, but not quite ready to take action? That stage is important too. You're nurturing and nourishing the seeds of change.

It takes time for nature to change things into what they're becoming. It takes time for things to develop. Be patient with yourself and life. Trust the process of growth.

- Journey to the Heart

This reminds me I didn't get this way overnight, even in recovery, never mind before recovery, so I can't expect to heal and get better overnight. This is not a quick fix program. It is a one day at a time program. Just because I worked on something before, doesn't mean it can't come back again, and I have to work on it again. It might not be the same, hopefully we will have grown enough to have new enlightenment.