I had no idea why I was hearing all the things I was hearing when I first started going to meetings I didn't understand what any of this had to do with me. I could see the problems that were outside of me, all these things that I needed to fix, but inside I had no idea of what my problem was and couldn't see that this was what was behind everything that was wrong on the outside. Many times before being in recovery after some of the things I did, I'd be asked "what's wrong with you" to which I would always reply " I don't know" Then finally this got to where I was telling myself I need to find out why I keep doing all these things that make no sense to me that I was doing, that seems to come out of nowhere. I now know because of being in recovery that I can fix all the things I want to that are on the outside but until I'm willing to work on what's wrong inside of me there's no real hope for me, because I'll just continue to do those thing that are hurting me no matter how hard I try not to. That's what my problem is, and without help I don't stand a chance at any of this, or for any real hope of things ever getting better for me.