We were all looking for something to change. In recovery we call it being sick and tired of being sick and tired. Unfortunately, many of us hold a preconceived idea of what that change should look like and that's usually not the change we need. I didn't see my opportunity for getting sober as something that would fix all that was making me sick of life. And why did recovery have to do anything with a higher power that made no sense to me at all. I was unable to see my own spiritual illness, or when it was pointed out to me valued it as having anything to do with me getting better. Disease affects us in three ways, physical, mental, and spiritual and none seems to do more damage to our spirits than addiction does. This may be due to the false sense of responsibility that one has thinking that somehow we have done this to ourselves. There is so much misunderstanding about addiction even today, but one thing is clear no one picks this like you would choose to have cancer. It just happens to some and not to others and no one is really sure why.