Taking Other People's Inventory

[MajestyJo]

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

The word "ourselves" is the key word (for many of us in Al-Anon!

Ourselves mean, We as members, not me and my A and my friends.

"Our Inventory"
"Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though a situation had not been entirely your fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? The inventory was ours, not the other man's. When we saw our faults we listed them. We placed them before us in black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight." AA's How It Works, pg. 67

It is about taking my inventory, just like a business takes inventory once a year to see what is in stock.

[MajestyJo]

Had a guy in my AA group who use to go around to people and say, "You owe me $5. you just took my inventory." He was in and out for many years, but he always came back, because he knew that was where the answer was. In the end, he lost his leg as a result of his disease, because he wouldn't surrender and give over. I know that I stayed sick for so long and I was lucky that I made it to recovery. I just couldn't seem to get that finger to join the rest in unity. It always had to be pointing at someone or something that was worse off than I was. I am not as bad as they are. I am not as bad as she is. Mine is better than that. The ego, the pride, and the self had to go. Recovery is about me, all about me, let it begin with me, not compared to you, but what I need to do for myself, then if you need help, I can share with you what worked for you. That is what happened tonight. A friend is quitting smoking. She called me because she is having a rough time and she knew I had been there. I could share with her what had helped me and gave her a few suggestions as to what she could use if what I used wasn't acceptable, I gave her choices.

I use my angel medication cards at least once a week to do an inventory, generally more often, depending on what is going on with me. If something bigger is going on, I generally bring out others.

As my sponsor always said, it isn't about him/her/them, it is always about you. Take your inventory and make things right with your God.

Posted on another site in 2012

As the slogan says, Let it begin with me.

[MajestyJo]

Don't think there is anything wrong with calling someone on their stuff if you feel led to do it. That person has a choice as to whether they agree with you, accept it, and do anything about it. I think it is better if it is asked for before it is given, but it depends on the circumstances and where you see someone is headed, especially if you see them heading for a relapse.

I felt compelled to do it a few times and then my sponsored told me, and visa versa, so I lost the desire to be so opened mouthed and in someone's face about it. As you say, I try to keep my side of the street clean, and I have a direct line to my God, but there are times, when I get busy and forget to call. Not a whole day, but if I am sitting on a nice pity pot, or have a nice resentment flurishing, or I have some glee rumbling around in my tum tum, I don't want to take the edge off just yet, and I postpone the call.

God grant me the Serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I will to will your will, not mine be done. Amen.

Posted in 2012

When I see somone troubled, I try to share my experience, strength, and hope with them. That doesn't mean they have to take what I say and as what they have to do for themselves, but sharing that they are not alone and I am there for support. All I can do is share what happened with me. I have used some unconventional things, because as a guy who a shared the lift at the clinic yester said, "I am willing to try anything if it will help." The key for me was try. If it doesn't work, try something else. But for the most part, it works if I work for it.

[MajestyJo]

As I have shared before, a member of AA who became a priest in recovery and has over 60 years clean and sober, once said, "This is a one day at a time program." When I take the Steps, it is about in today and for me, how my past affects me in today. Looking at who I am and do I love myself enough to accept myself as I am or do I need to change.

I needed to take an inventory of what was there, how can you change something if you are not aware of it. This is one of the reasons for a sponsor. I stuff everything all of my life (birth mark removed surgically when I was one, badly burnt and hospitalized when I ws 18, seeing my brother killed when I was 3, and our house being struck by lightning, and the list goes on), so it took a long time for me to become aware of my feelings and my defects that had accumulated over the years.

I didn't want to look at myself, so I looked at others, not realizing that what I saw in them, I had within myself. As they say, "It takes one to know one."

When I was new to recovery, I thought I had done a 4th Step. As I healed and grew in recovery, I realized that all I had done was an extended Step One. I had not healed, detoxed, and didn't have the awareness, honesty, open mindedness and willingness to truly see and recognize something for what it was.

It really did help me though to go to meetings and hear other people share, it brought new awareness to me and later as I grew in recovery, I was able to give back and share what worked for me. I can never repay the gifts I received in recovery, I went to a lot of meetings and a lot of great people were put in my path. My coming here and sharing is an indirect amend to all those in my life, especially to those in my life prior to recovery, to say that I have changed and I try not to do what I use to do and I am not the person you knew back then. Each day, I try to become a better me. This is a one day at a time program and I am a work in progress.