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Join Date: Aug 2013
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September 1
Daily Reflections WILLINGNESS TO GROW If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on. As Bill Sees It, p.8 Sobriety fills the painful "hole in the soul" that my alcoholism created. Often I feel so physically well that I believe my work is done. However, joy is not just the absence of pain; it is the gift of continued spiritual awakening. Joy comes from ongoing and active study, as well as application of the principles of recovery in my everyday life, and from sharing that experience with others. My Higher Power presents many opportunities for deeper spiritual awakening. I need only to bring into my recovery the willingness to grow. Today I am ready to grow. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Be careful not to brand new prospects as alcoholics. Let them draw their own conclusion. But talk to them about the hopelessness of alcoholism. Tell them exactly what happened to you and how you recovered. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If they are agnostics or atheists, make it emphatic that they do not have to agree with your concept of God. They can choose any concept they like, provided it makes sense to them. The main thing is that they be willing to believe in a power greater than themselves and that they live by spiritual principles." Do I hold back too much in speaking of the spiritual principles of the program? Meditation For The Day "I will never leave or forsake thee." Down through the centuries, thousands have believed in God's constancy, untiringness, and unfailing love. God has love. Then forever you are sure of His love. God has power. Then forever you are sure, in every difficulty and temptation, of His strength. God has patience. Then always there is One who can never tire. God has understanding. Then always you will understand and be understood. Unless you want Him to go, God will never leave you. He is always ready with power. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may feel that God's love will never fail. I pray that I may have confidence in His unfailing power. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Morning Thoughts, p.243 On awakening, let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity and from dishonest or self-seeking motives. Free of these, we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be on a higher plane when our thinking begins to be cleared of wrong motives. If we have determined which of two courses to take, we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought, or a decision. Then we relax and take it easy, and we are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. We usually conclude our meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, asking especially for freedom from damaging self-will. Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 86-87 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Are we victimizing ourselves? Finding the New Happiness Some believe that people create their own trouble by attracting the wrong conditions and people in their lives. This may not be entirely true, but we can find that some element of it was at work with us. Time and time again during our drinking, we set ourselves up for abuse and rejection, though our motives seemed right. Why did we do this? Supposedly to punish ourselves, the theory has it. If this is true, then we should now call a halt to the process immediately. If we've emerged from the terrors of alcoholism, we've had all the punishment anybody needs. We can change our bad patterns by looking carefully at the people and situations we seem to attract. Without resentment or condemnation, we can part company with any problems these have been bringing us. We can start building new relationships and attracting better conditions that will be immensely successful in terms of happiness and well-being.<br> I'll remember today that in the new life I'm seeking, there's no need for punishment. I will not go out of my way to attract people or conditions that create problems in my life. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Made direct amends to such people wherever possible . . . ---First half of Step Nine In our illness, we harmed people. In Step Nine, we are to make amends. Making amends is about asking people we have harmed what we need to do to set things right. But making amends is more than saying, “I'm sorry.” If you ran a store and someone had stolen five dollars, you wouldn't want them to just say, ”I'm sorry.” You'd want the person to pay back the money. The same is true with amends. Many people we've harmed ask only that we don't repeat our mistakes. Respect their wishes. Step Nine has healed many wounds. Step Nine allows us to grow up. Step Nine help us regain faith in ourselves. Remember, the best amend we make to all is to stay sober. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, give me courage. Help me face the trouble caused by my disease. Make me ready to help other heals from the harm I've caused. Action for the Day: Today, I'll pray that those I've harmed will heal. I will be responsible for my actions. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Success can only be measured in terms of distance traveled. --Mavis Gallant We are forever moving from one experience to another, one challenge to another, and one relationship to another. Our ability to handle confidently all encounters is a gift of the program, and one that accompanies us throughout every day, providing we humbly express gratitude for it. Success is ours when we are grateful. We are not standing still. No matter how uneventful our lives may seem, we are traveling toward our destiny, and all the thrills and tears, joys and sorrows, are contributing to the success of our trip. Every day, every step, we are succeeding. We can reflect on yesterday, better yet, on last week or even last year. What were our problems? It's doubtful we can even remember them. We have put distance between them and us. They were handled in some manner. We have succeeded in getting free of them. We have succeeded in moving beyond them. How far we have come! And we will keep right on traveling forward. As long as we rely on the program, we are assured of success. I can do whatever I need to do, today, with success, when I humbly accept the program's gifts. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill. p. 89 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY - This young alcoholic stepped out a second-story window and into A.A. My life has been one of great joy. I am now thirty-three years old, and God willing, in one month I will celebrate my fourteenth sober A.A. anniversary. I am surrounded by loving friends on whom I depend and who depend on me. I have reconciled with my parents, from whom I had been estranged. My life is filled with laughter again, something that alcohol had taken away. pp. 430-431 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Foreword Though the essays which follow were written mainly for members, it is thought by many of A.A.'s friends that these pieces might arouse interest and find application outside A.A. itself. p. 15 ************************************************** ********* God brings peace to me, all I need do is ask. --Shelley The peace that I feel in my life is growing richer every day. As I continue to walk on my spiritual path to recovery, I let myself be guided by truth and love. Conflict is leaving, making more and more room for charity, serenity and usefulness. --Ruth Fishel Treat every person with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you. Remember that you show compassion to others not because of who they are, but because of who you are. --Andrew T. Somers Today I know my Higher Power is guiding me through the changes I choose to make in my life. I have all the energy I need today to make these changes as easily and effortless as I wish. --Ruth Fishel Today, I will stop forcing things to happen. Instead, I will allow things to happen naturally. If I catch myself trying to force events or control people, I will stop and figure out a way to detach. --Melody Beattie *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation OPTIMISM "Optimism is a kind of heart stimulant -- the digitalis of failure." -- Elbert Hubbard Today I am an optimist. I believe in life, and more importantly, I believe in me. I know that God cares and this brings me hope. But when I was drinking I had a negative and destructive attitude in all areas of life; nothing pleased me, people were not to be trusted, everybody had a price, God seemed to be "out for lunch" and life had lost its meaning. I was a sad man. I was a lonely man. I was an angry man. When I was told to put down the drink and follow some new directions, I halfheartedly agreed. I met people who laughed, shared their pain and lived in the realistic "now". I began to listen. Slowly I changed. Peace was within my grasp. Today I wonder at my halfhearted risk that started it all -- and thank God. ************************************************** ********* Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever. Psalm 125:1 Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!" Psalm 27:14 "Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content." Philippians 4:11 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Get outside of yourself and be outgoing for others. Lord, help me to act in a heartwarming manner so that Your presence in me lights an entire room. Are you too busy wishing away your day to get what you really want? Lord, help me set goals and find the means to achieve what is important to me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Real Values "We become able to make wise and loving decisions based on principles and ideals that have real value in our lives." Basic Text, pg. 101 Addiction gave us a certain set of values, principles we applied in our lives. "You pushed me" one of those values told us, "so I pushed back, hard." "It's mine" was another value generated by our disease. "Well, okay, maybe it wasn't mine to start with, but I liked it, so I made it mine." Those values were hardly values at all - more like rationalizations - and they certainly didn't help us make wise and loving decisions. In fact, they served primarily to dig us deeper and deeper into the grave we'd already dug for ourselves. The Twelve Steps give us a strong dose of real values, the kind that help us live in harmony with ourselves and those around us. We place our faith not in ourselves, our families, or our communities, but in a Higher Power - and in doing so, we grow secure enough to be able to trust our communities, our families, and even ourselves. We learn to be honest, no matter what-and we learn to refrain from doing things we might want to hide. We learn to accept responsibility for our actions. "It's mine" is replaced with a spirit of selflessness. These are the kind of values that help us become a responsible, productive part of the life around us. Rather than digging us deeper into a grave, these values restore us to the world of the living. Just for today: I am grateful for the values I've developed. I am thankful for the ability they give me to make wise, loving decisions as a responsible, productive member of my community. pg. 255 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. --Sir Rabindranath Tagore In the darkness of early morning, the bird outside the window begins to sing. Soon the eastern sky turns pink. The bird continues singing until the first yellow rays warm its soft wings. Then it flies away, not returning to the window until the next morning. We can learn from the small bird how to have faith. We don't need to wait for something we want before having faith we'll get it. We can begin to show our faith by celebrating the things we usually take for granted. After all, when we take something for granted, isn't that a selfish form of faith? We can start by singing a song to celebrate the new day. A day that will warm our hearts and shed light on our actions. Like the bird's faith in the sunrise, we need only to have faith that God meant each day to enrich our lives. What faith can I celebrate right now? You are reading from the book Touchstones. If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe. --Carl Sagan Everything is given to us. Our lives came forth with no plan on our part. We have no lease on life and no control, ultimately, over any possession. In the addictive and codependent families most of us came from, we learned something else. We learned a lonely arrogance that said, "I should be self sufficient. I have earned everything that ever came to me." Deep down we probably knew how untrue that was, and we felt great self-doubt. The cure we learn in this program for our lonely arrogance is a miracle and a blessing. We accept that we are part of a larger whole. Now it dawns on us - all of our friends and relatives share this basic powerlessness. We are all pilgrims. We are all guests. We are all stewards of creation. We can be close, and we must help one another because everyone is equally vulnerable. I am grateful to my Higher Power today for the life, which has been given me. I pray for greater understanding of my responsibilities. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Success can only be measured in terms of distance traveled. --Mavis Gallant We are forever moving from one experience to another, one challenge to another, and one relationship to another. Our ability to handle confidently all encounters is a gift of the program, and one that accompanies us throughout every day, providing we humbly express gratitude for it. Success is ours when we are grateful. We are not standing still. No matter how uneventful our lives may seem, we are traveling toward our destiny, and all the thrills and tears, joys and sorrows, are contributing to the success of our trip. Every day, every step, we are succeeding. We can reflect on yesterday, better yet, on last week or even last year. What were our problems? It's doubtful we can even remember them. We have put distance between them and us. They were handled in some manner. We have succeeded in getting free of them. We have succeeded in moving beyond them. How far we have come! And we will keep right on traveling forward. As long as we rely on the program, we are assured of success. I can do whatever I need to do, today, with success, when I humbly accept the program's gifts. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Patience Sometimes we get what we want right away. At other times, we wonder if our desires will ever be fulfilled. We will be fulfilled in the best way possible and as quickly as possible. But some things take time. Sometimes, we have lessons to learn first, lessons that prepare us so we can accept the good we deserve. Things are being worked out in us, and in others. Blocks in us are being removed. A solid foundation is being laid. Be patient, Relax and trust. Let go. Then, let go some more. Good things are planned for us. We will receive them at the first available moment. We will have all our heart longs for. Relax and trust. Today, I will identify what I want and need; then, I'll be willing to let go of it. I will devote my energy to living my life today, so I may master my lessons as quickly as possible. I will trust that what I want and need is coming to me. I will let go of my need to control the details. Today I know I am worthy of having success in my life. I am listening what I tell myself with gentleness and love, putting a stop to any self-talk that does not make me feel good about myself. --Ruth Fishel ****************************** Journey To The Heart Make It a Labor of Love The mirror was framed with a ceramic octopus. It had the sweetest, most peaceful energy. It made me smile when I saw it. “Do you like it?’ my friend asked. “Arnold made it.” That’s when I knew why it was so delightful. It’s energy– delightful, joyous, and sweet– was Arnold’s energy. The things we create have energy. A meal we cook. A task we perform, no matter how big or small. What we do contains our energy– the emotional energy and attitude we put into it. Have you ever cooked a meal when you felt angry and disrupted, hurried and harried? Have you noticed the difference when you cooked that meal in a loving frame of mind? Merely doing the job isn’t always enough. We need to do the job with our best energy, our most positive emotional and mental attitude. Take time before you begin a task to become conscious of the energy you want to put into it, the energy you want that task to have and reflect to yourself and others. Make conscious, deliberate choices. The larger the task, the more time you may want to spend developing your ideas about it. On particularly significant projects, you may want to spend time visualizing and writing down your ideas, so you can focus that energy into your work. Experiment with this idea. See how it comes to life as you do your daily tasks. See how much better the people around you feel when you do your tasks in love. See how much more joy and pleasure work brings to you. There is honor in all work, in all tasks, but take it one step further. Make what you do a labor of love. Then your work will truly touch and change the world in the way you desire. The work you do, whatever your chosen field, will be work that heals. ***** more language of letting go for September Learn to say I am We hear a lot about becoming whole. "Become a complete human being." "Start on the pathway to becoming whole." "You won't find romantic love until you know you're complete." Frankly, these kinds of comments often confused me. But then I decided that wholeness relates directly to the process of detaching and letting go. It's admirable to go after our dreams and know what we want to accomplish. But after we identify what it is we're after, we need to let it go. We need to know in our hearts and souls that we're okay whether we ever get what we're after or not. Another friend described it this way. "It's the old Zen Buddhist thing," he said. "When you're one with yourself, life becomes magical. You can get whatever you want." The most powerful and magical words we can say in the language of letting go are these: I am. Then we step it up one notch by learning to say, I am complete just as I am. God, help me know the power of the words I am. ***** Sending Yourself Sunshine Good Thoughts for the Day The more we accept our darkness as one part of the picture, the more easily we can also allow and accept our light. When things go wrong, it is easy to get into a bad mood, and that bad mood has a way of spiraling out and affecting our life for days to come. In the same way, when we feel badly about ourselves, we tend to act in ways that have repercussions, again creating a negative vibe that can negatively influence the next several days. While it is important that we allow ourselves to feel what we feel, and to be genuine, we do not have to completely surrender to a dark mood or feelings of self-doubt. In fact, the more we simply allow and accept our darkness as one part of the picture, the more easily we can also allow and accept our light. In this vein, we can temper our grey moods with an injection of sunshine in the form of sending good wishes to ourselves for the next 24 hours. If you feel a bad mood coming on or find yourself plagued with negative feelings, take a moment to acknowledge that. At the same time, recognize that things can and will change, and that you can still have a good day, or a good week, especially if you take the time to visualize that for yourself. This is a great way to support yourself when you are working through tough times and hard feelings. When you visualize good things for yourself, you are sending yourself love and warmth, as well as encouraging yourself to keep going. Before you even get out of bed in the morning, you can take the time to send good wishes to yourself all the way through to the next morning. As you picture your day, take the time to fill in the details—where you are going, who you will see, what you will do—and send love and good wishes ahead to yourself, as well as everyone you encounter. It will be like arriving in a new place and finding that an old friend has sent a bouquet of flowers from back home to welcome you and remind you that you are loved. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Based on their collective experience, The Program’s founders suggested a prayer to be said when taking the Third Step – and making a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. “God, I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy Love, and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always!” Have I abandoned myself to God as I understood Him? Today I pray I praise my Higher Power for my freedom to find my own understanding of God. May my life be God’s whether i think of Him as a Father whose hand and spirit I can touch with an upward reach of my own, or as a universal Spirit that I can merge with as the hard outlines of my “self”begin to melt, or as a core of Divine and absolute goodness inside myself. May I know Him well, whether I find Him within me, without me or in all things everywhere. Today I Will Remember I thank God, as I understand Him, for my understanding of Him. ****************************** One More Day Spirituality is like a bird: if you hold on to it tightly, it chokes, and if you hold it loosely, it escapes. – Israel Salanter Lipkin Being spiritual does not necessarily mean being religious. Instead, it can be an awakening of our deepest personal sense of caring about other people, as well as an awakening of our appreciation of the joy, symmetry, and balance of nature. The spirituality we strive for and which comforts us best is based on our finding a similar balance within ourselves. When we possessively clutch our faith and expect all that we demand, our spirituality is weakened. Yet, if we expect nothing of it, it might seem to disappear. Our spiritual lives are strengthened as we find that precious balance between expectant trust in our Higher Power and responsible reliance on ourselves. I am striving to find fullness and balance in my days. Certain experiences change the balance, but I can find it again. ************************************************** ****************** Food For Thought Twenty-Four Hours a Day We practice the OA principles in all our affairs, twenty-four hours a day. Ours is not a diet program but a way of life. When we were eating compulsively, food occupied the central place in our lives every day. Abstinence replaces food as our prime concern, and maintaining abstinence means working the program. When we do this, we are amazed at how well the day goes. Our work is easier and more productive. We spend less time and energy hassling with ourselves and other people. Best of all, we do not always have to be right. Being able to admit mistakes delivers us from egocentricity. Being straight with ourselves enables us to be straight with others, and they in turn respond more positively. We are less concerned that everyone likes us and more concerned about growth in the program. By placing principles before personalities, we get less snarled up in confused, game playing relationships. May You be foremost in my mind, twenty-four hours a day. ***************************************** One Day At A Time SELF-KNOWLEDGE “The world we have created is a product of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” Albert Einstein The world I created before finding the Twelve Steps of recovery was a world in which I had no responsibility. Everything bad in my life was someone else’s fault: my parents’, my husband’s, society’s, and, when there was no one else to blame, it was God’s fault. As I worked Step 4, I learned that I had been a part of all of these things for which I blamed others. I learned that I had defects of character that kept me from taking part in my life. As I recognized these defects, I asked my Higher Power to remove them, and that gradually happened. One of the things I had tried to do for many years was bury my feelings of grief and pain. I seemed to have managed that fairly well, but in doing so, I had also buried all the other emotion. I no longer took enjoyment in anything. My child’s smile evoked no feeling and I felt no pride in anything I did. I felt none of the love that others gave to me. As I started dealing with the painful feelings, the positive emotions emerged as well. The promise the Big Book speaks of became true for me: I no longer regretted the past nor wished to shut the door on it. I was able to feel my hurt and grief. Now I am also able to feel love and happiness. I have learned how to change my thinking through the process of working these wonderful Steps. One Day at a Time . . . I do a daily 10th, 11th and 12th Step and am reminded that it is my responsibility to listen to my Higher Power and do my part in creating the world around me. ~ Nancy ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that is it fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die. - Pg. 66 - How It Works Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Because our body chemistry is so damaged by our disease of addiction, it is important to pay attention to our body's nourishment needs. Are you eating regular balanced meals? It's often more important then we realize and we should never allow ourselves to be hungry or nutrient starved. Give me the foresight to feed my body the nourishment that my disease robbed it of in the past. Secrets Today I will be honest with myself and with others where appropriate. At least, I will no hide from the truth of my own life and inner being. I have the strength to live with the truth and the wisdom to know that the truth can set me free. Keeping secrets is a foolish attempt to stay safe from the truth. We tell ourselves we are sparing another person or protecting ourselves, but all too often the secrets that we keep actually keep us. What people need from me in order to make sense of me is the truth. When I withhold that truth, I withhold myself. I am creating distance that no one can cross because the way across the divide is the way of honesty. I can not make something better by lying, and I cannot be fully understood if I won 't give the benefit of the truth. I can live my life in a web of lies without ever uttering a falsehood. The web of lies is composed of not just what I say, but the vast amount of honesty that I withhold. There is a difference between considerate honesty and aggressive frankness. Honesty recognizes the personhood of both people and is an act of trust; but too much frankness can border on mean. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Your life works FOR you. It hones you, teaches you, and makes you a better person. Nothing in your life happens to you, but for you. This isn't happening to me, but for me. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book God does not hurry. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I know I am worthy of having success in my life. I am listening to what I tell myself with gentleness and love, putting a stop to any self-talk that does not make me feel good about myself. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Take heart; it came to pass, it didn't come to stay. - Unknown origin.
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September 2
Daily Reflections FINDING "A REASON TO BELIEVE" The willingness to grow is the essence of all spiritual development. As Bill Sees It, p.171 A line from a song goes, ". . . and I look to find a reason to believe . . ." It reminds me that at one time I was not able to find a reason to believe that my life was all right. Even though my life had been saved by coming to A.A., three months later I went out and drank again. Someone told me: "You don't have to believe. Aren't you willing to believe that there is a reason for your life, even though you may not know yourself what that reason is, or that you may not sometimes know the right way to behave?" When I saw how willing I was to believe there was a reason for my life, then I could start to work on the Steps. Now when I begin with, "I am willing. . . ," I am using the key that leads to action, honesty, and openness to a Higher Power moving through my life. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day "Outline the program of action to new prospects, explaining how you made a self appraisal, how you straightened out your past, and why you are now endeavoring to help them. It is important for them to realize that your attempt to pass this on to them plays a vital part in your recovery. The more hopeless they feel, the better. They will be more likely to follow your suggestions. Tell them about the fellowship of A.A. and if they show interest, lend them a copy of the Big Book." Can I tell the A.A. story to another alcoholic? Meditation For The Day You should try to stand aside and let God work through you. You should try not to block Him off by your own efforts, or prevent His spirit working through you. God desires your obedient service and your loyalty to the ideals of the new life you are seeking. If you are loyal to God, He will give you protection against mistakes. His spirit will plan for you and secure for you a sufficiency of all spiritual help. You will have true victory and real success, if you will put yourself in the background and let God work through you. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may not interfere with the working of God's spirit in me and through me. I pray that I may give it full rein. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Toward Maturity, p.244 Many oldsters who have put our A.A. "booze cure" to severe but successful tests still find they often lack emotional sobriety. To attain this, we must develop real maturity and balance (which is to say, humility) in our relations with ourselves, with our fellows, and with God. ******************************** Let A.A. never be a closed corporation; let us never deny our experience, for whatever it may be worth, to the world around us. Let our individual members heed the call to every field of human endeavor. Let them carry the experience and spirit of A.A. into all these affairs, for whatever good they may accomplish. For not only has God saved us from alcoholism; the world has received us back into its citizenship. 1. Grapevine, January 1958 2. A.A. Comes Of Age, pp. 232-233 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Going with the Flow Problem solving. It's surprising how many problems solve themselves when we're willing to turn them over to our Higher Power. This isn't a self-fulfilling prophecy brought about by suspicious beliefs we can actually find proof of this seemingly providential activity in our lives. We don't have to convince anybody except ourselves that this process works. What we can prove is that some of our best opportunities come about by what we would call chance or coincidence. Indeed, the first meeting of two AA founders could be called such a chance event. We need to believe that our Higher Power is working ceaselessly for the upward development of the human race, and Twelve Step programs can be essential forces in this upward development. In our own lives, we can go with this flow of ever-increasing good, as we continue to feel ourselves a part of it. I will not wrestle with every problem today. Some problems will be dealt with later and some will seem to solve themselves. I will know that I am part of an upward development that is continuing. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple … except when to do so would injure them or others. ---Second half of Step Nine We have to be careful when we make amends. We must think about people’s well being. Can we help heal by being direct with them? Or would it hurt them again? At times, this means not making direct amends. Sometimes, it’s better to make some other kind of amend. If you’re not sure how to make amends to someone, ask for advice from your sponsor and your group. And pray. Over time, you’ll know if making direct amends is the right thing to do. Remember, Step Nine means we’re responsible for our actions. In recovery, our actions can be healing. Healing takes place when we love ourselves and others. And love is what heals us. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I’ve hurt people in the past. Please use me now to help those people heal. Give me good judgment, courage, and good timing. Action for the Day: I will never be able to make direct amends to some people. I will think of amends I can make to them. I can pray daily for their healing. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning If I had to describe something as divine it would be what happens between people when they really get it together. There is a kind of spark that makes it all worthwhile. When you feel that spark, you get a good feeling deep in your gut. --June L. Tapp How lucky we are, that we can experience that divine spark with one another, and with all recovering women. The program offers us the chance, every moment of our lives from this day forward, to experience divinity. All we are asked to do is be there, for one another, to share fully who we are. Vulnerability gets easier as we learn that we can trust each other, that we can share pain, that it's okay to pull and prod and follow, first you and then me and then her. What a thrill it is to leave our competition behind! The program bonds us together, and the bond will strengthen each of us, but it can elude us, too. It often does when we forget to be there, in one another's presence, when the opportunity comes. I need these sparks to nurture my growth, singly and collectively. I will be part of a divine experience today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. p. 89 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY - This young alcoholic stepped out a second-story window and into A.A. I was married shortly after my ninth anniversary to a loving woman. One week before my twelfth anniversary, our son was born. Through him I learned more about unconditional love, the value of wonder, and the sheer joy of being alive. I have a wonderful job that (most days) I appreciate. I am active in A.A. service work and have both a sponsor and several sponsees with whom it is a privilege to work. All of those are gifts from God. I express my gratitude by enjoying them. p. 431 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Foreword Many people, nonalcoholics, report that as a result of the practice of A.A.'s Twelve Steps, they have been able to meet other difficulties of life. They think that the Twelve Steps can mean more than sobriety for problem drinkers. They see in them a way to happy and effective living for many, alcoholic or not. pp. 15-16 ************************************************** ********* Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. --Abraham Lincoln "The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it." --General H. Norman Schwarzkopf "I didn't learn humility with my head. I learned humility with my heart." --Unknown For all my good intentions, there are days when things go wrong or I fall into old habits. When things are not going well, when I'm grumpy or mad, I'll realize that I've not been paying attention to my soul and I've not been following my best routine. --Robert Fulghum When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life. --Jean Shinoda Bolen *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation MEMORY "Every man's memory is his private literature." -- Aldous Huxley What it was like. What happened. What it is like today. Memory. If I am to stay sober, I need to remember. I need to remember on a daily basis. I must never forget. My life is reflected in my memory. The "writing on the wall" is really in my head, but am I prepared to see it and acknowledge it? For years I chose not to remember. I lived in a world of make-believe. People were exaggerating the facts! With denial at the center of my life I was able to forget the pain and drink again, only to awake to yesterday's pain again. My memory is the key to my recovery. Spirituality is about "seeing" -- seeing my life as it is, rather than how I imagined or hoped it would be. My pain belongs in my life because it is mine! Alcohol always works; but does it work for me or against me? My remembering helps me answer that question today and hopefully tomorrow. Thank You, God, for allowing my yesterdays to forge my tomorrows. ************************************************** ********* The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Psalm 9:9 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are one." John 10:27-30 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Don't miss a single chance to enrich your life or the lives of others. Lord, Your blessings are countless. May I always be aware of Your presence in my life, share my blessings, and use my blessings to be a blessing to others. Never judge. The heart of each one of us is so different, so complex, with so many different circumstances and sufferings that only God is truly able to know it. Lord, may I reach out to others with compassion when they need my support. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Higher Powered "Daily practice of our Twelve Step program enables us to change from what we were to people guided by a Higher Power" Basic Text p.83 Who have we been, and who have we become? There are a couple of ways to answer this question. One is very simple: We came to Narcotics Anonymous as addicts, our addiction killing us. In NA, we've been freed from our obsession with drugs and our compulsion to use. And our lives have changed. But that's only the tip of the iceberg. Who have we really been? In the past, we were people without power or direction. We felt like we had no purpose, no reason for living. Our lives didn't make any more sense to us than they did to our families, our friends, or our neighbors. Who are we really becoming? Today, we are not merely clean addicts, but people with a sense of direction, a purpose, and a Power greater than ourselves. Through daily practice of the Twelve Steps, we've begun to understand how our addiction warped our feelings, motivations, and behavior. Gradually, the destructive force of our disease has been replaced by the life-giving force of our Higher Power. Recovery means more than cleaning up-it means powering up. We have done more than shed some bad habits; we are becoming new people, guided by a Higher Power. Just for today: The guidance I need to become a new person is ready at hand. Today, I will draw further away from my old and closer to my Higher Power. pg. 256 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind. --Bob Dylan A family is like a windchime; each member hangs in delicate balance with the others. When a problem develops for one family member, the rest of us often take on roles to try and deal with the situation. But what happens to our windchime when we're all pulling and pushing in different directions? Our balance is lost and we either all clash together or none of our chimes connect at all and there is only painful silence. If we let go and trust in that spiritual force beyond ourselves, we discover that it is like the wind. It moves our windchime gently with a soothing breeze that allows us to relax in our places or move together as the force directs us. It brings out the beautiful harmonious notes we weren't able to produce ourselves. How can I help us make better music together today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. --Geoffrey Norman Exercise changes our thought patterns in beneficial ways. Often we may feel irritable or blue and see nothing we can do about the situation. Then we are amazed at what simply going for a half hour walk will do. Although our situations don't change, we are changed in how we respond to them. Exercise - whether going for a walk, working in the garden, playing ball, or scrubbing a floor - clears our minds. After some physical movement we find our thoughts getting clearer. Ideas come to mind that help us cope, and our spirit is energized. Science has demonstrated that many serious cases of depression respond just as well to a program of vigorous daily exercise as to traditional treatment. In a sense, our Higher Power speaks to us through our muscles and bones when we move them. This spiritual experience, like many others, never comes from thinking about it, only from doing it. Today, I will make time for physical activity. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. If I had to describe something as divine it would be what happens between people when they really get it together. There is a kind of spark that makes it all worthwhile. When you feel that spark, you get a good feeling deep in your gut. --June L. Tapp How lucky we are, that we can experience that divine spark with one another, and with all recovering women. The program offers us the chance, every moment of our lives from this day forward, to experience divinity. All we are asked to do is be there, for one another, to share fully who we are. Vulnerability gets easier as we learn that we can trust each other, that we can share pain, that it's okay to pull and prod and follow, first you and then me and then her. What a thrill it is to leave our competition behind! The program bonds us together, and the bond will strengthen each of us, but it can elude us, too. It often does when we forget to be there, in one another's presence, when the opportunity comes. I need these sparks to nurture my growth, singly and collectively. I will be part of a divine experience today. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Detaching with Love with Children It's one thing to let go of my husband and let him suffer the consequences. But how do I let go of my children? Isn't it different with children? Don't we have responsibilities as parents? We do have different responsibilities to our children than to other adults. We are financially responsible for our children; we are responsible for providing for their material and physical needs. Our children need to be taught how to help themselves - from tying their shoes to making social plans. They need our love and guidance. They need consistent enforcement of boundaries, once we've established limits. They need a supportive, nurturing environment in which to grow. They need help learning values. But we are not responsible for controlling our children. Contrary to popular belief, controlling doesn't work. Discipline and nurturing do - if combined. Shame and guilt interfere with our children's learning and our parenting. We need to respond to our children in a responsible way and hold them accountable for their actions at an age appropriate level. We need only do our best. We can let our children have their own process of living; we can have our own process. And, we can take care of ourselves during that process. Seek balance. Seek wisdom, Seek not to have control, but to own our power as people who are parents. Today, God, help me find an appropriate balance of responsibility to my children. Help me parent through nurturing and discipline, instead of control. All my needs are being met easily and effortlessly today. I simply turn them over to my Higher Power and do the footwork. --Ruth Fishel ****************************** Journey To The Heart Listen to the Voice of the Soul Listen to your soul. It speaks quietly, yet clearly, about what it wants, what it needs, what it’s learning, what it yearns for. It speaks of its fears and dreams, its hopes and needs. Learn to listen to the souls of others,too. Listen not only to the way people chatter and exchange ideas. Learn to listen to what they’re really saying. “My son is nineteen. He’s moved away from home. He talks all the time about wanting to be grown up, wanting his independence. So my husband and I have really tried to give him his freedom,” one woman said. “Yet recently, when he had a crisis, I heard for the first time what he was really saying. Don’t go too far. Call me often. Be there for me. Let me know you’re there.Let me know you still care. Now I try to call him every day, just to tell him I love him and to let him know I’m close by. The crisis he had wasn’t the issue. Not really. What he was really saying was he needed us.” Go beyond what you hear with your ears. Learn to hear what you’re really saying, and what others are really saying to you. Souls do talk. Listen quietly. Listen to your own. Learn to hear the voice of others. A little soul talk goes a long way. ***** more language of letting go Coping devices We may do less-than-logical things to cope with tragic events. We don't do these things because we're silly. We do them because it's the only way we know to survive. One of the silliest things we do to cope with life is devaluing ourselves when bad things happen to us. We might have experienced a lot of pain while we were growing up. So as a child we looked around and said, "Yup. This must be my fault. There's something wrong with me." Or, "I know if I would have kept my room cleaner, my daddy wouldn't have gone away." Low self-esteem-- and all the ways it manifests-- becomes a way of coping with painful events. We look around and see all the people who don't appear to have our level of problems, so we may conclude. "There's something wrong with me." Although adapting a posture of low self-esteem might have been a way of surviving pain, that time has passed. It's time to replace low self-esteem with new perspectives. Stop coping with events bt devaluing yourself. Instead, respond to life by loving and taking care of yourself. Love yourself just as you are. God, help me love myself for who I am now. Activity: Do a review of your self-esteem. Go back over past events from your childhood, teenage, and adult years. What painful events occurred? Did you give away your self-esteem to certain people? Now is a time to claim your self-esteem and take it back. Write down positive areas of your life. Write down what you friends and family members appreciate about you. ***** Let Your Confidence Shine Our Insecurities We all have insecurities, what we think we see about another person is usually what they want us to notice. At some point in our life there may come a time when we feel insecure about ourselves. We might judge our ability to do something or feel self-conscious about the way we look. It does not matter how this feeling manifests in our life, but it is important to be aware of our thoughts and how they impact our view of ourselves. Once we remember that insecurities are a normal part of life for everyone—even those who appear to be extremely self-assured—we may find it easier to step back from the uncertainty that lies within and take a more realistic look at ourselves. The desire to improve or better ourselves is a natural response that arises when we begin to compare our lives to those of other people. It might seem, for example, that we do not have nearly as much going for us as our neighbor, best friend, or coworker. In truth, what we think we see about another person is usually what they want us to notice. They may be putting on a mask, trying to make things in their lives seem better than they are. If we were to look at their lives a little more closely, we would also realize that they are human, full of glorious imperfections that make them who they are. Recognizing this may take some time at first. Should we, however, feel our uncertainties begin to surface, taking deep breaths while at the same time acknowledging each one of our gifts will help us become more centered. Doing this allows us to see the wonders that lie within and lets our inner beauty shine forth into the world all the more brightly. When we hold up such a detailed mirror to our lives and weigh ourselves against others, we are not able to see the things that make us truly unique. Giving ourselves permission to appreciate all the universe has given us, however, will make us feel more secure about ourselves and more able to use our gifts to their fullest. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When I wake up, I’ll think quietly about the twenty-four hours ahead. I’ll ask God to direct my thinking, especially asking that it be free from self-pity and from dishonest or self seeking motives. If I have to determine which of several courses to take, I’ll ask God for inspiration, for an intuitive thought, or a decision. Then I’ll relax and take it easy, confident that all will be well. Can I believe that when I give up my “rights” of expectations, I’ll know freedom? Today I Pray I praise God for being able to praise God, to choose the times when I will seek Him, to find my own words when I talk to Him, to address Him in the way that seems most right to me. May I expect that He in turn must be free of my expectations, to affect my life as He sees fit. Today I Will Remember Who am I to try to tell God what to do? ****************************** One More Day My coat and I live comfortably together. It has assumed all my wrinkles, does not hurt me anywhere, has molded itself on my deformities, and is complacent to all my movements. I only feel its presence because it keeps me warm. – Victor Hugo The anticipation of school beginning each fall is fueled by youngsters’ love of newness – new clothes, new shoes, new books, new teachers. We still enjoy newness, but we also find comfort in what is old and reliable. No afghan comforts quite as well as the one that was knitted with loving hands many years ago. We may have a favorite mug or chair. Over years we have developed trusting and dependable relationships. While we remain open to change, we also feel comfortable with what is old and familiar. I’m glad I can find comfort in the old and familiar, and excitement in the new and unfamiliar. ************************************************** *************** Food For Thought Stop Overeating, Start Living Physical abstinence is just the beginning of the new life OA offers to us. When our Higher Power controls our life, we become free of the mental obsession with food. Then we are able to get down to the business of living, which we avoided with our illness. Rather than reaching out with both hands to grab and hold on to all we can get, we begin to think in terms of giving and serving. We may start by sharing what OA has done for us with newcomers to the program. It is the newcomer who is our reminder of who we were and where we came from. We find that though we can never eat spontaneously, we can live much more spontaneously than before. Because we feel less guilt and fear, we can experience the joy of acting from the center of our being. Knowing that our Higher Power is in control, we have trust and faith that the results of our actions will be okay. Each day becomes less of a trial and more of an opportunity. Today, may I experience the spontaneity that comes with Your control. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ISOLATION “A great hope fell, you heard no noise, The ruin was within. Oh, cunning wreck that, told no tale And let no witness in!” Emily Dickinson When I was young, I was unable to negotiate situations that were too big for me to understand. I went within and hid. I lost hope and was filled with despair. I soothed myself with food that was always there for me. In time, I felt so isolated that I felt completely separate from the human race. As I recover, it is important for me to use the tools of the program which reconnect me with other people. This connection tells me that I am okay. I always have a choice to isolate or connect. Today I choose to connect. One Day at a Time . . . I ask my Higher Power for the ability and courage to reach out and connect to others by using the tools of the program. ~ Melissa S. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only THOUGHT they had lost their egoism and fear; they only THOUGHT they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else ALL their life story. - Pg. 73 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote At this time many people will get on our nerves. This is normal during early recovery. How we see others is often a mirror of our feelings--thus we are not so much upset by the actions of others as we are upset with ourselves. Help me see that my feelings are often displaced and projected into anothers behavior when it may really come from within me. Prayer I will pray today. I will not try to do anything without God 's help whether it's finding something in a cupboard, figuring out what to have for breakfast or curing my life. I will allow God into each and every intimate detail in my life trusting that God's love is all pervasive, all knowing and cannot be used up. I understand that God's reach extends as I allow it to imbue my life with a sense of being alive and in constant, constant contact. It is not about being deserving, God and I are meant to be one in the same. It is not about being good enough, God is with me always, It is I who stray from God, not God who strays from me. Today I will allow God's presence to fill me and guide and hold my life. There is no such thing as poverty or lack when I live in God's eternal love and presence. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Recovery is not an event; it is a process. The disease of addiction affects all three aspects of our physical, mental, and spiritual selves by changing our behavior (to self-destruction), thinking (to self-serving), and allegiance (to no purpose). It was a slow debilitating process. Recovery is the same slow process in reverse. I am in the process of changing my behavior to self-construction, my thoughts to service, and my allegiance from 'no purpose' to a higher purpose. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book We don't care why you're here, it's why you stay. Time for Joy - Book - Quote All my needs are being met easily and effortlessly today. I simply turn them over to my Higher Power and do the footwork. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote This too shall pass...Like a gallstone. - Anon.
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September 3
Daily Reflections BUILDING A NEW LIFE, p.255 We feel a man is unthinking when he says sobriety is enough. Alcoholics Anonymous, p.82 When I reflect on Step Nine, I see that physical sobriety must be enough for me. I need to remember the hopelessness I felt before I found sobriety, and how I was willing to go to any lengths for it. Physical sobriety is not enough for those around me, however, since I must see that God's gift is used to build a new life for my family and loved ones. Just as importantly, I must be available to help others who want the A.A. way of life. I ask God to help me share the gift of sobriety so that its benefit may be shown to those I know and love. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day "Offer new prospects friendship and fellowship. Tell them that if they want to get well you will do anything to help. Burn the idea into the consciousness of new prospects that they can get well, regardless of anyone else. Job or no job, spouse or no spouse, they cannot stop drinking as long as they place dependence on other people ahead of dependence on God. Let no alcoholic say they cannot recover unless they have their family back. This just isn't so. Their recovery is not dependent upon other people. It is dependent on their own relationship with God." Can I recognize all excuses made by a prospect? Meditation For The Day The spiritual life depends upon the unseen. To live the spiritual life you must believe in the unseen. Try not to loose the consciousness of God's spirit in you and in others. As a child in its mother's arms, stay sheltered in the understanding and love of God. God will relieve you of the weight of worry and care, misery and depression, want and woe, faintness and heartache, if you will let Him. Lift up your eyes from earth's troubles and view the glory of the unseen God. Each day try to see more good in people, more of the unseen in the seen. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may rest and abide in the presence of the unseen God. I pray that I may leave my burdens in His care. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Singlehanded Combat, p.245 Few indeed are those who, assailed by the tyrant alcohol, have ever won through in singlehanded combat. It is a statistical fact that alcoholics almost never recover on their personal resources alone. ******************************** 'Way up toward Point Barrow in Alaska, a couple of prospectors got themselves a cabin and a case of Scotch. The weather turned bitter, fifty below, and they got so drunk they let the fire go out. Barely escaping death by freezing, one of them woke up in time to rekindle the fire. He was prowling around outside for fuel, and he looked into an empty oil drum filled with frozen water. Down in the ice cake he saw a reddish-yellow object. When thawed out, it was seen to be an A.A. book. One of the pair read the book and sobered up. Legend has it that he became the founder of one of our farthest north groups. 1. 12 & 12, p.22 2. A.A. Comes Of Age, pp. 82-83 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places What is Possible? Spiritual Power. With God, all things are possible, goes an old saying. Yet most of us haven't seen any evidence of doing the impossible. But through our program, we have truly accomplished things that we had considered nearly impossible at one time. No human power could have relieved our alcoholism, we read in the AA Big Book. How many more conditions are we accepting because no human power ..... particularly ours... can relieve them? As we grow in sobriety, we should continuously reinforce our belief that God is living and working in our lives. The impossible problems we'll need to work on will have roots in our own habits and feelings, but even if one of these deeply rooted problems has gone on for years, we need not despair of finding an answer. If we persist in prayer and in turning the problem over to our Higher power, an answer must come. It is never too late to find the changes we need and deserve. Even if I haven't solved all my problems, I'll take the position today that correct solutions exist in the mind of God. I'll be open to signs that changes are coming. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple You will not regret the past nor wish ti shut the door on it. . . --- Alcoholics Anonymous As we work the Steps, we fix our broken life. Many things in our new life have been painful. Our addiction to alcohol or drugs made it all worse. But if things hadn’t gotten so bad we might not have gotten into recovery. We have changed so much! We have learned so much about life, our Higher Power, and ourselves in order to fix our lives. We can’t act like nothing in the past matters. It does matter, because it brought us to this new life. And is better already! Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me face my past and heal the wounds---my wounds and others’ wounds. Action for the Day : Today, I’ll three things I’m ashamed of. How can I make amends for them when I work Step Nine? I will call my sponsor if I need help. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning ... satisfaction is a lowly thing, how pure a thing is joy. --Marianne Moore Our perfectionism generally dashes all hopes of self-satisfaction. But the program is here to show us that we can make progress. We can learn to believe that we are doing any task as well as we need to do it, at this time. Our job is the effort. The outcome is part of a larger plan, one that involves more than ourselves. We'll find joy when we find acceptance of ourselves and our efforts and the belief that we are spiritual beings whose lives do have purpose and direction. The wisdom that accompanies spiritual growth offers us security, that which we have sought along many avenues. And when we feel secure, we can trust that the challenges confronting us are purposeful and to our advantage. One day at a time, one small prayer at a time, moves us even closer to spiritual security. We can look with glad anticipation at our many responsibilities and activities today. They are our opportunities for spiritual security. We can trust our growing inner resources by simply asking for guidance and waiting patiently. It will find us. I must exercise my prayers if I want the spiritual security where I can find joy. I will ask for guidance with every activity today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Perhaps you are not acquainted with any drinkers who want to recover. You can easily find some by asking a few doctors, ministers, priests or hospitals. They will be only too glad to assist you. Don’t start out as an evangelist or reformer. Unfortunately a lot of prejudice exists. You will be handicapped if you arouse it. Ministers and doctors are competent and you can learn much from them if you wish, but it happens that because of your own drinking experience you can be uniquely useful to other alcoholics. So cooperate; never criticize. To be helpful is our only aim. p. 89 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY - This young alcoholic stepped out a second-story window and into A.A. I once knew a woman who was crying before a meeting. She was approached by a five-year-old girl who told her, "You don't have to cry here. This is a good place. They took my daddy and they made him better." That is exactly what A.A. did for me; it took me and it made me better. For that I am eternally grateful. p. 431 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Foreword There is, too, a rising interest in the Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. Students of human relations are beginning to wonder how and why A.A. functions as a society. Why is it, they ask, that in A.A. no member can be set in personal authority over another, that nothing like a central government can anywhere be seen? How can a set of traditional principles, having no legal force at all, hold the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous in unity and effectiveness? The second section of this volume, though designed for A.A.'s membership, will give such inquirers an inside view of A.A. never before possible. p. 16 ************************************************** ********* I will take time today to stop and give a gift to someone needy, smile at a stranger or help a small child. I will take the time to do at least one thing that I usually find myself too busy to do, and I will inwardly smile at myself, taking the time to experience the feelings of my own kindness. --Ruth Fishel Just for today: I will strive to be an active listener. I will practice active listening when others share and when I share with others. --Just For Today Daily Meditation For us, if we neglect those who are still sick, there is unremitting danger to our own lives and sanity. --Twelve Steps And Twelve Traditions, p. 151 God, give me the courage and strength to see clearly. --Melody Beattie Tell your partner, your children, your parents: "I love you" frequently. Let them know the difference they make in your life. Miss no opportunities for loving. --Mary Manin Morrissey "Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut." --Roy Rogers WHAT CAN I DO?" My child, I've often heard your question. This is my answer: You feel compassion for those who suffer pain, sorrow and despair ... and you ask, "What can I do?" - COMFORT ONE Your heart goes out to the lonely, the abused, and the imprisoned ... and you ask, "What can I do?" - LOVE ONE "What is oxygen to the lungs, such is hope to the meaning of life." --Unknown "Kindness pays most when you don't do it for pay." --Unknown *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation SOLITUDE "One of the greatest necessities in America is to discover creative solitude." -- Carl Sandburg I need to be alone. Being alone is not the same as being lonely. I need to be alone with me in order to love me, understand me, hear my needs and plan my day. Also solitude is a spiritual experience because it enables me to center on what God is doing and creating in my life. Solitude enables me to think and cooperate with His will for me in our world. As an addict I was always running around being "busy". Today I rest within myself in order to be more active and creative. Let me be still so that I can enjoy my world. ************************************************** ********* "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 3:12 "But you, keep your head in all situations..." 2 Timothy 4:5 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus." Philippians 2:3-5 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Today be kind and loving and expect nothing in return. When you lift your consciousness above the darkness, you will understand that the life of Christ is the only enduring life. Lord, teach me to see You in my neighbor. Dear Lord, open our hearts to be able to see you anywhere, anytime, in all the ways that you choose to be present. Amen. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Humility Expressed By Anonymity "Humility is a by-product that allows us to grow and develop in an atmosphere of freedom and removes the fear of becoming known by our employers, families, or friends as addicts." Basic Text p.72-23 Many of us may not have understood the idea that "anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions." We wondered how this could be. What does anonymity have to do with our spiritual life? The answer is, plenty! By guarding and cherishing our anonymity, we earn spiritual rewards beyond comprehension. There is great virtue in doing something nice for someone and not telling anyone about it. By the same token, resisting the impulse to proudly announce our membership in NA to the world - in effect, asking everyone to acknowledge how wonderful we are - makes us value our recovery all the more. Recovery is a gift that we've received from a Power greater than ourselves. Boasting about our recovery, as if it were our own doing, leads to prideful feelings and grandiosity. But keeping our anonymity leads to humility and feelings of gratitude. Recovery is its own reward; public acclaim can't make it any more valuable than it already is. Just for today: Recovery is its own reward; I don't need to have mine approved of publicly. I will maintain and cherish my anonymity. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Into each life some rain must fall. Some days must be dark and dreary. --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Coping with problems and weathering troubled times - is part of life. Those of us who have survived painful experiences have a duty to help younger ones prepare to face bad times by sharing the solutions we found. When stormy weather comes, we need to feel we are like other people. It's not that misery loves company, but that we don't want to feel we're in this alone. We will never have perfect living conditions. The only place where every day is a sunny one is in the desert. When pain comes, we can walk through our problems and settle things quickly, rather than prolonging the hurt by battling our way around the obstacles in an effort to avoid them. What problem can I confront and eliminate today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. It is clear the future holds opportunities - it also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to seize the opportunities, avoid the pitfalls, and get back home by 6:00. --Woody Allen Sometimes we take ourselves far too seriously. We draw our lives in the absolutes of black and white, with no shadings of gray. We believe our whole lives depend on every decision we make. When a problem comes along, we see it as a crisis rather than another of the ongoing issues that confront all people. If we are displeased with someone, or if a person is upset with us, we amplify the feelings until we rupture the whole relationship. It would be helpful to look at today's tasks and problems as a game. Yes, we would like to play the game well, but we could have a good time while doing it. If we don't take our problems or ourselves too seriously, maybe we'll have some fun. Help me learn that daily living needs the light of humor. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. ... satisfaction is a lowly thing, how pure a thing is joy. --Marianne Moore Our perfectionism generally dashes all hopes of self-satisfaction. But the program is here to show us that we can make progress. We can learn to believe that we are doing any task as well as we need to do it, at this time. Our job is the effort. The outcome is part of a larger plan, one that involves more than ourselves. We'll find joy when we find acceptance of ourselves and our efforts and the belief that we are spiritual beings whose lives do have purpose and direction. The wisdom that accompanies spiritual growth offers us security, that which we have sought along many avenues. And when we feel secure, we can trust that the challenges confronting us are purposeful and to our advantage. One day at a time, one small prayer at a time, moves us even closer to spiritual security. We can look with glad anticipation at our many responsibilities and activities today. They are our opportunities for spiritual security. We can trust our growing inner resources by simply asking for guidance and waiting patiently. It will find us. I must exercise my prayers if I want the spiritual security where I can find joy. I will ask for guidance with every activity today. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Word Power I know I'm controlling, but so is my husband. Possibly more controlling than I am. Each time I set out to leave him, each time I started to walk away, he knew exactly what to say to pull me back in. And he knew I'd respond. He knew how to say exactly what I needed to hear to keep me where he wanted me. He knew what he was doing, and he knew what I would do. I know, because after we began recovering, he told me so. --Anonymous Some of us are so vulnerable to words. A well timed "I love you." A chosen moment for "I'm sorry." An excuse delivered in the right tone of voice. A pat on the head. A dozen roses. A kiss. A greeting card. A few words that promise love that has yet to be delivered can spin us into denial. Sometimes, it can keep us denying that we are being lied to, mistreated, or abused. There are those who deliberately set out to sway us, to control and manipulate us through cheap talk! They know, they fully understand our vulnerability to a few well-timed words! Break through your naivete. They know what they're doing. They understand their impact on us! We do not have to give such power to words, even though the words may be just what we want and need to hear, even though they sound so good, even though the words seem to stop the pain. Sooner or later, we will come to realize that if behavior doesn't match a person's words, we are allowing ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, and deceived. Sooner or later, we will come to realize that talk is cheap, unless the person's behavior matches it. We can come to demand congruency in the behavior and the words of those around us. We can learn to not be manipulated, or swayed, by cheap talk. We cannot control what others do, but we can choose our own behaviors and our own course of action. We do not have to let cheap, well-timed talk control us--even if the words we hear are exactly what we want to hear to stop our pain. Today, I will let go of my vulnerability to words. God, help me trust myself to know the truth, even when I am being deceived. Help me cherish those relationships where there is congruity. Help me believe I deserve congruity and truth in the behavior and the words of those I care about. Today I will experience each moment to the fullest. I will do all have to do to let go of everything that is blocking me from being fully alive in this moment. Each moment is unique, within itself and the less I carry with me from the previous moment, the freer I am to experience the joy of the now. --Ruth Fishel ****************************** Journey To The Heart Things Are Working Out Right now, this moment, things are working out. We natter away, trying to control, shape, and form. Trying to figure things out. We back off, then come closer. We worry and wonder. But things are working out. Things are working out as beautifully and Divinely as possible. The dance of life is taking place in sync with the rhythm of the universe. Everything is working out, moving forward, evolving. There is a rhythm, an energy, a life force that continues, that shapes, that grows. You do not have to fight, resist, control, or even understand it. All you need to do is be– be present for your life, your love, yourself. Your soul will lead you on. Your inner voice, your heart, is leading you on. Quiet your mind and trust that where you are and where you’re being led is perfect. You don’t have to try to get it all together. You don’t have to strive to “have it all.” You already do have all that you need. How many times have you been through an experience, fretting and fearful about the shape things were taking, only later to exclaim, Oh, I see now. Things were working out all along! Learn to say and believe that now. Let your mind see what your soul already knows: things are working out perfectly. ***** more language of letting go Let go of low self-esteem "Self-esteem is so illusive," said Amanda. "I've been working on my self-esteem for years. The harder I work at it, the less I seem to have." I believe we can let go of low self-esteem. We can turn around lack of belief in ourselves. We can become willing to forgive ourselves. We can stop tolerating treatment that doesn't feel good to us. We can look at the dangers of defining ourselves by money, power, or prestige, or by whom we know and what we have. Ultimately, we can become willing to take care of ourselves and nurture ourselves through whatever experiences life may bring. Twelve Step programs offer two Steps that can help us build self-esteem, acceptance, and self-love. Step Six says we become entirely ready to have God take our defects of character. Step Seven says we humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings. The work isn't easy, but it is worthwhile. For now it's enough to become willing to let go of our low self-esteem and all the ways that low self-esteem manifests in our lives. God, please replace my low self-esteem with self-acceptance. Activity: Sometimes, we can have healthy self-esteem functioning in one area of our lives, but not in another. For instance, we may feel good about our work skills, but we may feel poorly about our personal relationships. We may have great confidence in our athletic skills, but feel bad about our finances. Decide if there are areas where you may be manifesting low self-esteem. What areas do you feel good about? Also, look at dreams you have not pursued because of your lack of self-confidence. ***** Being Your Own Voice of Reason Meaning by Madisyn Taylor How we attach meaning to events in our lives has a large influence on the quality of our life. The meaning we assign to our experiences–whether pleasant or distressing, is a very powerful factor in determining the quality of our lives. What we imagine events to mean will color the way we feel about ourselves, about the people in our lives, and about the world at large. If we want to encourage a positive outlook, well-being, and a sense of self-confidence and even trust in the universe, we can begin by assigning more peaceful, loving meanings to what we experience. Imagine, for example, that a friend fails to show up to a lunch date. You have choices as to what you will make this experience mean for you. You could allow being “stood up” to reinforce your feelings of unworthiness, you could begin to mentally attack your friend’s character, or you could assume that something big must have happened to cause them to miss the date—then, you might open yourself up to enjoying some relaxing time alone. If you were recently laid off and are having difficulty finding a new job, consider that you might have hidden gifts or passions that were untapped in your regular career that you are now available to explore. The universe might simply be moving you in a more fulfilling direction. If you have recently lost a loved one, gained weight, lost money, or gotten in a fight with your partner, see if you can infuse the experience with meaning that feels loving and empowering and opens a door for you to embrace life and the world a bit more. When we begin to bring consciousness to what we are making things mean, we may be shocked at the messages we have been feeding ourselves all these years. Try taking the reigns and begin assigning a kinder meaning to the events in your life and you will likely find yourself on a much more pleasant ride. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************** A Day At A Time Refection For The Day Sometimes, even when friends in and outside of The Program tell us how well we’re doing, we know deep down that we’re really not doing well enough. We still have trouble handling life and facing reality on reality’s terms. We suspect, at those times, that there must be a serious flaw in our spiritual practice and development. Chances are strong that our trouble lies in either misunderstanding or neglect of Step Eleven — prayer, meditation, and the guidance of God. The other Steps can keep most of us clean and sober, free from other addictions, and functioning. But Step Eleven can keep us growing — so long as we try hard and work at it continuously. Do I trust infinite God rather than my finite self? Today I Pray I pray for a deepness of my spiritual awareness, for a stronger faith in the Unseen, for a closer communion with God. May I realize that my growth in The Program depends on my spiritual development. May I give over more of my trust to God’s eternal wisdom. Today I Will Remember I will not give in or give up, but give over to the power of God. ****************************** One More Day My message is peace of mind, not curing cancer, blindness, or paraplegia…. Anyone who is willing to work at it can achieve it. – Bernie S. Siegel Too often, we think we can regain our peace of mind only after our health problems are resolved. But peace of mind is what we need right now, not later. We can do a few things in our medical treatment, but we can actively develop our spiritual and emotional strengths. We can look at life not in terms of success or failure, but in terms of attitudes and beliefs and self-acceptance. We can reprioritize our life goals to emphasize what can be done. Gradually, we experience a sense of peace as we separate those things which we can change and control from those which we can not. Making our choices and acting upon them brings us the peace we need in difficult times. I will consider only the choices that are truly mine to make. ****************************** Food For Thought Friends and Enemies Sometimes our friends or members of our family urge us to eat food that is not part of our plan. If we allow ourselves to be manipulated into eating something to please someone else, we are in danger of losing the most important thing in our life – abstinence. Anyone who tries to make us feel uncomfortable because of our illness is acting as an enemy, rather than a friend. To some people close to us, an explanation of our food plan may be helpful. Repeated discussions, however, are usually unnecessary and unproductive. We alone are responsible for what we put into our mouths. If those around us cannot or will not understand, then that is their problem, not ours. When confronted with food, which we know is harmful to us, the simplest response is a firm “No, thank you.” When we ourselves are determined to maintain abstinence, no one else, whether friend or enemy, can prevent us from following our plan. Protect me, Lord, from my friends and enemies. ***************************************** One Day At A Time SPIRITUAL GROWTH “I have defined love as the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own and another’s spiritual growth.” Scott Peck From 'The Road Less Traveled' In my disease I had this terrible need to control everything and everyone in my path. Like the actor in the AA Big Book, I was forever arranging things the way I thought they should be, only to find that when I was done, I had ripped through the area like a tornado on the plains. Often I would claim that my actions were done out of a spirit of love. When I didn’t get my way, I would announce to the world that I was not loved and would head for the solitude of my binge foods. Today as I work my program, I find that by taking the Third Step, I am truly extending myself for not only my own growth, but for those around me as well. When I decide to turn my will and my life over to the God of my understanding, I don’t have to be the director of the world! As I once heard in a meeting, “The position of God is filled. They did not ask for resumes, they did not take applications, there was no ad in the classifieds. So what makes you think you can apply for the job?” By not extending myself into God’s role, I am extending love. One Day at a Time . . . I pray that I may stay out of my Higher Power’s way, and by doing so, extend myself for spiritual growth. ~ Mark Y. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt -- and one more failure. - Pg. 151 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The worst form of blindness is emotional blindness. We say 'love is blind' but we must recognize that 'hate is blind', 'fear is blind', and 'anger is blind' as well. Intense emotions obscure our sight and in this first month, our emotions run amuck. We must accept this and use our program, treatment center, counselor, sponsor, and meetings as our 'seeing eye dog.' My Spiritual Source helps me recognize that my emotions are more intense now then usual. I may not be seeing life as clearly as I will in the future. Embracing the Void There is emptiness as well as fullness to life. Today I will embrace them both. I will see the emptiness as a spiritual void that is actually full in a completely different sort of way. A God shaped hole. When I allow myself to embrace my own inner emptiness rather than run from it, a paradox happens. What was unknown becomes known, what was frightening becomes tolerable and what was empty becomes full. The void I feel inside of me is really a spiritual wilderness. When I enter it barren trees flower and bear fruit. It is alive and vibrating. It sooths and sustains me and I feel tingly inside. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Although we must be of service to our fellow drunk and junkie, although we want the hand of recovery to be there when they reach out, although we must give back what was so freely given to us, we cannot do for them what they must do for themselves. I carry the message, I don't carry the drunk; however, if necessary, I carry the drunk to the message. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Be yourself today. You are perfect for the part. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will experience each moment to the fullest. I will do all I have to do to let go of everything that is blocking me from being fully alive in this moment. Each moment is unique, within itself and the less I carry with me from the previous moment, the freer I am to experience the joy of the now. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote AA bumper stickers belong on the dashboard, not on the back bumper. - Anon.
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September 4
Daily Reflections RECONSTRUCTION Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. . . . . ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 83 The reconstruction of my life is the prime goal in my recovery as I avoid taking that first drink, one day at a time. The task is most successfully accomplished by working the Steps of our Fellowship. The spiritual life is not a theory; it works, but I have to live it. Step Two started me on my journey to develop a spiritual life; Step Nine allows me to move into the final phase of the initial Steps which taught me how to live a spiritual life. Without the guidance and strength of a Higher Power, it would be impossible to proceed through the various stages of reconstruction. I realize that God works for me and through me. Proof comes to me when I realize that God did for me what I could not do for myself, by removing that gnawing compulsion to drink. I must continue daily to seek God's guidance. He grants me a daily reprieve and will provide the power I need for reconstruction. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day "We must be careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. Experience shows that such an attitude is no help to anyone. We are not fanatics or intolerant of people who can drink normally. Every prospect is relieved when he finds we are not witch burners. Temperate drinking is O.K., but we alcoholics can't get away with it. And no alcoholic likes to be told about alcohol by anyone who hates it. We shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility." Do I have a tolerance for those who can drink normally? Meditation For The Day Do not become encumbered by petty annoyances. Never respond to emotional upsets by emotional upset. Try to keep calm in all circumstances. Try not to fight back. Call on the grace of God when you feel like retaliating. Look to God for the inner strength to drop these resentments that drag you down. If you are burdened by annoyances, you will lose your inward peace and the spirit of God will be shut out. Try to keep peaceful within. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may do the things that make for peace. I pray that I may have a mission of conciliation. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Instinct To Live, p.246 When men and women pour so much alcohol into themselves that they destroy their lives, they commit a most unnatural act. Defying their instinctive desire for self-preservation, they seem bent upon self-destruction. They work against their own deepest instinct. As they are progressively humbled by the terrific beating administered by alcohol, the grace of God can enter them and expel their obsession. Here their powerful instinct to live can cooperate fully with their Creator's desire to give them new life. ******************************** "The central characteristic of the spiritual experience is that it gives the recipient a new and better motivation out of all proportion to any process of discipline, belief, or faith. "These experiences cannot make us whole at once; they are a rebirth to a fresh and certain opportunity." 1. 12 & 12, p.64 2. Letter, 1965 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places What do We Deserve? Good Expectations We hear about people who snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Some of us do that even in sobriety, experiencing failure just as success seems imminent. At times, we may just be suffering from a bad situation that is all around us. But if we do seem to be having one bad break after another, we should look more carefully within ourselves for causes. We may be punishing ourselves, or pushing away our good simply because we do not feel worth of it. If we discover that this process is working in our lives, we must begin changing these false patterns immediately. Having forgiven ourselves and others, and having made amends, we need no punishment. We will work to succeed in all of our activities, with a reasonable expectation of success most of the time. We will expect and deserve the best. I'll carry with me today a belief that I deserve to succeed and will take all necessary action to earn my success. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple In my view, we of this world are pupils in great school of life. Bill W. Our addiction has taught me much. It has taught us how far we can get from ourselves, our Higher Power, and those who love us.. Hopefully, we've learned we can't go it alone. Do I allow myself to learn from the bad things that happened? Recovery has much to teach us too. We need to be students of life. We need to be open to learning. Our spirits can grow if we’re willing to do three things: First, we listen. Second, we think about what we've learned. Third, we turn what we've learned into action. Listening, combined with thought and action, will help us learn life’s best lessons. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, You'll test me so I can learn. Help me accept the tasks You give me. And help me learn from them. Action for the Day: I will view today as a class. I will do three things---listen, think, act. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning For all the sadness of closure, there is a new and joyful unfolding in the process of becoming. --Mary Casey We must let go of people, places, memories, and move on to new experiences. The doors of the past must be closed before we can enter those that are opening to us today. However, no experience is gone forever. All of our experiences are threaded together, each one contributing to the events that claim our attention now. Recovery has offered us a chance to be aware of our process of becoming. With each day, each experience, each new understanding, we are advancing along the path of personal growth. Let us remember that each of us has a particular path, like no other. Thus, our experiences are ours alone. We need not envy what comes to someone else. Life is unfolding for us. The pain of the present may be necessary for the pleasure of tomorrow. We can accept the unfolding. Our inner selves have a goal; experiences of the past must be left in the past; experiences at hand will lead us to our destination today. I am moving and changing and growing, at the right pace. The process can be trusted. What is right for me will come to me. I will let the joy of becoming warm me. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him. If he does not want to stop drinking, don’t waste time trying to persuade him. You may spoil a later opportunity. This advice is given for his family also. They should be patient, realizing they are dealing with a sick person. p. 90 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Part III - THEY LOST NEARLY ALL The fifteen stories in this group tell of alcoholism at its miserable worse. Many tried everything--hospitals, special treatments, sanitariums, asylums, and jails. Nothing worked. Loneliness, great physical and mental agony--these were the common lot. Most had taken shattering losses on nearly every front of life. Some went on trying to live without alcohol. Others wanted to die. Alcoholism has respected nobody, neither rich nor poor, learned nor unlettered. All found themselves headed for the same destruction, and it seemed they could do nothing whatever to stop it. Now sober for years, they tell us how they got well. They prove to almost anyone's satisfaction that it's never too late to try Alcoholics Anonymous. p. 435 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Foreword Alcoholics Anonymous began in 1935 at Akron, Ohio, as the outcome of a meeting between a well-known surgeon and a New York broker. Both were severe cases of alcoholism and were destined to become co-founders of the A.A. Fellowship. p. 16 ************************************************** ********* Today is the blocks with which we build. --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow All of the animals except man know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. --Samuel Butler Today I am letting go of all judgments. I am releasing all negative emotions. I am quietly going within and trusting my inner spirit and I will know what is right for me. --Ruth Fishel " Let us continue to search our own minds for the hidden places where we still deny love. Perhaps we learned loveless attitudes from our parents, or from experiences in the past. Wherever we picked up judgmental attitudes, they do not serve us now. They do not serve God or the creation of a new world, and serving God is our only goal. To serve God is to think with love. In prayerful request, let us give up all thoughts that are not of love. " --Marianne Williamson Someone once wrote: "Happiness is always a by-product. You don't make yourself happy by chasing happiness. You make yourself happy by being a good person." The happiest people I know are people who don't even think about being happy. They just think about being good neighbors, good people. And then happiness sort of sneaks in the back window while they're busy doing good. --Rabbi Harold Kushner *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation HUMILITY "Humility is to make a right estimate of one's self." -- Charles Haddon Spurgeon To see yourself as a good person is part of the program of humility. To see your gifts and recognize your achievements is what it is to be a humble person. "God does not make junk." Therefore, we should not act or behave towards ourselves in a way that would indicate anything other than that we are "special". All addicts and alcoholics need to accept this because for years we had felt guilty, lonely and ashamed. These attitudes helped to keep us sick. Sobriety and serenity is recognizing our God-given uniqueness that makes us "special". We can achieve great things as long as we continue to believe in ourselves. Thank You for loving me enough to become a part of me. ************************************************** ********* And be not fashioned according to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, and ye may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. Psalm 119:105 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Believe in miracles because they do happen. Lord, I give You praise for the wonders that You are doing in my life. Give yourself more exercise than jumping to conclusions. Lord, grant me sincerity and wisdom in my daily life. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Cluttered Spirits "We try to remember that when we make amends we are doing it for ourselves." Basic Text p.40 As long as we still owe amends, our spirits are cluttered with things we don't need. We're carrying the extra load of an apology owed, a resentment held, or unexpressed remorse. It's like having a messy house. We could leave so we don't have to see the mess, or maybe just step over the piles of debris and pretend they aren't there. But ignoring the disorder won't make it disappear. In the end, the dirty dishes, the crumb-filled carpet, and the overflowing wastebaskets are still there, waiting to be cleaned up. A cluttered spirit is just as hard to live with as a messy home. We always seem to be tripping over yesterday's leavings. Every time we turn around and try to go somewhere, there is something blocking our path. The more we neglect our responsibility to make amends, the more cluttered our spirits become. And we can't even hire someone to clean up. We have to do the work ourselves. We gain a deep sense of satisfaction from making our own amends. Just as we would feel after we've cleaned our homes and have time to enjoy a bit of sunshine through sparkling windows, so will our spirits rejoice at our freedom to truly enjoy our recovery. And once the big mess is cleaned up, all we have to do is pick up after ourselves as we go along. Just for today: I will clear away what's cluttering my spirit by making the amends I owe. pg. 258 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. --Abraham Lincoln Our negative thoughts can be like pebbles rolling down the mountainside. One pebble bumps into another one. The second begins rolling and slams into a third. On and on it goes until thousands of pebbles, rocks, and even giant boulders are hurtling down the mountain. When we find ourselves stuck in a rut thinking a negative thought, we can decide to stop and replace it with a positive thought. At first our single positive thought may not dislodge another one. We may have to think of several and start them rolling down the mountainside. If we practice, we will find it becomes easier for that first good thought to shake loose others. We will see our lives change when we begin to look at the positive side of things. How can I begin to shape my outlook today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. It is as important to cultivate your silence power, as it is your word power. --William James We bless ourselves with renewal and healing when we retreat from the world for a few private moments of silence. The power we cultivate in silence isn't generated by us; that power comes to us. We can do this by deliberately withdrawing from all distractions. Then we quiet our inner selves by concentrating on deep relaxation, thinking about a brief reading, or by praying. Most of us already have a personal island of renewal that we have turned to many times in the past for serenity and strength. We can use it and turn to it daily. This natural pattern is necessary for a strong and healthy life. It builds our relationship with our Higher Power and ourselves. In our problems with self-esteem, we often label as worthless the quiet, subtle things we do, but these very things are essential to build our strength and self esteem. I will take time for silence to receive the power it gives in my life. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. For all the sadness of closure, there is a new and joyful unfolding in the process of becoming. --Mary Casey We must let go of people, places, memories, and move on to new experiences. The doors of the past must be closed before we can enter those that are opening to us today. However, no experience is gone forever. All of our experiences are threaded together, each one contributing to the events that claim our attention now. Recovery has offered us a chance to be aware of our process of becoming. With each day, each experience, each new understanding, we are advancing along the path of personal growth. Let us remember that each of us has a particular path, like no other. Thus, our experiences are ours alone. We need not envy what comes to someone else. Life is unfolding for us. The pain of the present may be necessary for the pleasure of tomorrow. We can accept the unfolding. Our inner selves have a goal; experiences of the past must be left in the past; experiences at hand will lead us to our destination today. I am moving and changing and growing, at the right pace. The process can be trusted. What is right for me will come to me. I will let the joy of becoming warm me. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Finding Direction I used to spend so much time reacting and responding to everyone else that my life had no direction. Other people's lives, problems, and wants set the course for my life. Once I realized it was okay for me to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things began to take place in my life. --Anonymous We each have a life to live, one that has purpose and meaning. We can help our Higher Power give direction and purpose to our life by setting goals. We can set goals annually, monthly, or daily in times of crisis. Goals create direction and pace; goals help us achieve a manageable life that is directed in the course we choose for ourselves. We can help give our lives direction by setting goals. Today, I will pay attention to setting a course of action for my life, rather than letting others control my life and affairs. I have all the strength that I need today to accept the realities of my life. I am on a path of learning and growth and healing. --Ruth Fishel ****************************** Journey To The Heart Stay Connected to Yourself The woman was describing her reaction to an area she had visited, a place poisoned by toxic chemicals, a piece of earth maimed and harmed by humankind. “It’s not that I didn’t feel connected there,” she said thoughtfully. “I felt connected, but feeling connected meant feeling connected to pain.” The woman was describing more than a piece of land. She was describing a place many of us visit at times on our journey. We feel connected, but we’re connected to pain and sadness. We may be reacting to an incident from our past or to something taking place right now. We don’t have to run anymore. We don’t have to hide. We don’t have to leave our bodies, or wonder what’s wrong. We simply need to feel what’s there, even if it hurts for a bit. Sometimes we’re healing from our toxic beliefs, feelings, and attitudes we’ve accumulated. Sometimes there’s a message, a lesson to learn, an action to take. That will follow naturally if we’re connected. Open up to your connection. The price of being connected may mean that we occasionally feel pain, but the reward for staying connected will be consciousness, guided action, and an open heart. ***** more language of letting go Look at your attachments A friend called me one day. His shiny new car was in the garage for repairs again. "I should have gotten a truck, something practical, that would start ever day and get me to work," he said. "If ever, ever I start screaming that I have to have something and can't live without it, start screaming back to me until I stop." What's attached to your self-esteem? Some people attach their cars to their worth. Other people can feel good about themselves only if they're involved in a romantic relationship. Some people need a home in a certain neighborhood. Some people tie their self-esteem to future events. If I could only achieve this, then I'd be complete. Take a moment. Look at your life. Is your self-worth attached to certain conditions? We say we want others to love us unconditionally, but the problem is, that's not often the way we love ourselves. We say we need money in the bank, a Mercedes, or a Gucci bag first. Is there a certain level of success you've been striving to attain? Are you telling yourself you have to have it to be complete? Maybe it's someone's approval that you're holding out for. There's an easy way to see what we've become overly attached to. We can ask ourselves this: What is the thing in my life that I can't let go of and release? What makes me craziest? Don't be hard on yourself. We all want and need daily necessities, such as cars, jobs, and money. And having someone to love is a delightful part of being human. But that's a different issue than telling ourselves we can't be happy without these persons or things. Help yourself to a healthy dose of completeness and letting go. Tell yourself that you're complete and can be happy, just as you are. Let go of your attachment to whatever you're clinging to. It may or may not come back to you. But if it does, you can more happily enjoy it knowing you don't need it to be complete. God, help me let go of my unhealthy attachments. Activity: What are you holding on to, telling yourself you can't live without it? Is there a person who you fear will go away? Is there a job or a particular level of success you've attached yourself to? Is there a level of finances that you're waiting to have before you let yourself feel complete? Do an inventory of your life. Discern what you've convinced yourself you need to be complete. Now, transfer these people or things to a list in your journal. Make the title of that list "people and things I need to release and detach from my self-esteem." You can still have these people or things in your life, but your goal here is to get clear on your motives for wanting them in your life. ***** Working from Center In the Thick of It When we are "in the thick of it," overwhelmed by too many things that need our attention, it’s important to remember that we are never given more than we can handle. When life’s challenges make us question this, our best coping mechanism is to follow the reliable and well-known course to our calm center and anchor ourselves there. It is for these times that we have been practicing regularly, so that our mind, body, and spirit will know how to find the peace within. Even in the midst of seeming chaos, a deep breath can help us turn within to find the space to work from, the calm at the center of the storm. Tapping into our inner resources we begin again, bringing our focus to the needs of the present moment. Asking "why?" shifts our energy away from the task at hand. We can seek answers to those questions once we get to the other side of the present challenge. For now, we accept what is. Once we have collected scattered energy and created space, inspiration will strike, help will arrive, and what seemed impossible will either become possible or we will find it has become unnecessary. The flow of the universe and its perfect order has room to move in our lives when we get ourselves and our extraneous thoughts out of the way. After the thick has become thin again, we have the opportunity to learn from the situation with a better idea of our true capabilities. We can now ask ourselves the "why" questions with the goal of fine-tuning our lives. Perhaps we have taken on more than is ours to do or made commitments out of obligation rather than insight. It could just be the ebb and flow and life, or we may be receiving life lessons on a fast track in preparation for something wonderful to come. But when we have a chance to make new choices, we know the best ones are made when we work from center. Published with permission from Daily OM ***** A Day At A Time Reflection for the Day Thought I have prayed at various times in my life, I realized after several months in the Program that I'd never really prayed properly. I'd always tried to make deals with God, much like a foxhole atheist; I'd always pleaded, "Grant me my wishes," instead of "Thy will--not mine--be done." The result was that I remained self-deceived and was thus incapable of receiving enough grace to restore me to sanity. Do I see that in the past, when I prayed to God, I usually asked that two and two not make four? Today I Pray May I look back and review how I have prayed before, for specific solutions that I from my earthly vantage felt were best, May I question, in the longer view of time, whether those solutions would have been right, had God chosen to do things my way. In retrospect, may I see that my pleas were not always so wise. May I be content to trust God. Today I Will Remember God may not do it my way. **************************************** Food for Thought. Too Thin? After losing weight, we may find ourselves being told that we are getting too thin. Often, the people who tell us this are not particularly thin themselves. Their comments are ostensibly made out of concern for our health, but it is more likely that they arise out of envy. Another reason could be their own personal fear of losing weight. Then, too, a thin person will sometimes feel threatened when we, who were formerly fat, come down to normal weight. Whatever the reason, it is not the responsibility of anyone else to tell us how much we should or should not weigh. We alone are responsible for our own body. When we turn our will and our life over to the care of our Higher Power, our body is included. The God who creates us will show us how He intends our body to look. We do not need to be concerned or swayed by the remarks of those who may not have our best interests at heart. I trust You to take care of my body. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ACTION “Men at some time are the masters of their fates.” William Shakespeare When I first approached Step Four I did so with fear. To make “a searching and fearless moral inventory” of myself seemed like an impossible task. I had so many resentments and fears I did not know where to start. I felt very overwhelmed. When I shared this with my sponsor, she sat down with me and I took a pen and paper and we started. Just seeing something down on paper gave me the courage to go on. I took the inventory person-by-person for my resentments and sex conduct, and fear-by-fear for my fear inventory. At first it was hard to see my part. I wanted to be a victim. But with the help of my sponsor I began to see my part. I began to take action. No longer was I the victim, but I became the master of my fate for the purposes of my recovery. I chose to make a searching and fearless moral inventory. No, it wasn’t easy, but step-by-step, I completed it. It wasn’t nearly as overwhelming as I thought it would be. Step Four requires much action, and I must choose to take it. One Day at a Time . . . I will choose to take action in my recovery and be fearless and thorough no matter where I am on my journey. ~ Carolyn ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did - then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand! - Pg. 151 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We mustn't make a decision about staying sober with insufficient data. To collect data on what staying sober is like, we have to stay that way 12 months or more. Therefore, we should not make a final decision about this new life until we have a year of clean time. May I know that experience and contact with sober people is the only way to collect data on sobriety. Changing My Mood I will consciously lift my own mood today. I have much more choice about what I feel that I realize. If I'm feeling stressed out, I will even out my breath and relax. If I'm obsessing about something, I will ask myself how important this thing will be in five years, I will remind myself that stressing only makes things worse. It clouds my judgment and makes everything bigger than it needs to be. If I set my mind toward being in a good mood, I will find a way to get there. My day will feel more pleasant. The events of my day will run more smoothly. I will be more available to myself and the people I encounter. I will change my thoughts today. If I see my thoughts veering toward the negative, I will consciously elevate them. I will gently steer myself in a more positive direction. What am I but the thoughts I think all day? The thoughts that go through my mind influence and define how I experience my life. I don't need to let myself be tossed all over the place by the events of my day. I can act on my day as well as letting my day act on me. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Road rage and recovery rage are closely associated. People, places, and things get in our way and we freak. When the rage begins, quickly ask yourself, 'What would my guardian angel do now?' My DUI's are no longer under the influence of alcohol. Today, I Drive Under the Influence of Angels. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If there is someone weaker than you, be kind to them. If there is someone stronger than you, be kind to yourself. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I have all the strength that I need today to accept the realities of my life. I am guided on a path of learning and growth and healing. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote If it smells like a duck, looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck... Chances are it's a duck. Unknown origin.
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September 5
Daily Reflections EMOTIONAL BALANCE Made direct amends to such people wherever possible,. . . . . TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 83 When I survey my drinking days, I recall many people whom my life touched casually, but whose days I troubled through my anger and sarcasm. These people are untraceable, and direct amends to them are not possible. The only amends I can make to those untraceable individuals, the only "changes for the better" I can offer, are indirect amends made to other people, whose paths briefly cross mine. Courtesy and kindness, regularly practiced, help me to live in emotional balance, at peace with myself. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day One of the mottoes of A.A. is "First Things First." This means that we should always keep in mind that alcohol is our number-one problem. We must never let any other problem, whether of family, business, friends, or anything else, take precedence in our minds over our alcoholic problem. As we go along in A.A., we learn to recognize the things that may upset us emotionally. When we find ourselves getting upset over something, we must realize that it's a luxury we alcoholics can't afford. Anything that makes us forget our number-one problem is dangerous to us. Am I keeping sobriety in first place in my mind? Meditation For The Day Spiritual progress is the law of your being. Try to see around you more and more of beauty and truth, knowledge and power. Today try to be stronger, braver, more loving as a result of what you did yesterday. This law of spiritual progress gives meaning and purpose to your life. Always expect better things ahead. You can accomplish much good through the strength of God's spirit in you. Never be too discouraged. The world is sure to get better, in spite of setbacks of war, hate, and greed. Be part of the cure of the world's ills, rather than part of the disease. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may keep progressing in the better life. I pray that I may be a part of the forces for good in the world. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Have You Experimented?, p.247 "Since open-mindedness and experimentation are supposed to be the indispensable attributes of our 'scientific' civilization, it seems strange that so many scientists are reluctant to try out personally the hypothesis that God came first and man afterward. They prefer to believe that man is the chance product of evolution; that God, the Creator, does not exist. "I can only report that I have experimented with both concepts and that, in my case, the God concept has proved to be a better basis for living than the man-centered one. "Nevertheless, I would be the first to defend your right to think as you will. I simply ask this question: 'In your own life, have you ever really tried to think and act as though there might be a God? Have you experimented?'" Letter, 1950 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Battles we've won or lost. Achievements. Even the continuous sobriety we're enjoying is no shield from traps we seem to set for ourselves. At times, we can find ourselves in the foolish game of continuing to fight battles we've won or lost. One losing battle is the attempt to win the approval of someone who has always disliked us. That person may be gone, but we still fight....and lose..... the same battle when we find ourselves in a similar situation. We also may have won some battles without knowing it. This can happen when we've set our goals unrealistically high. We may be fairly successful in our work, for example, but still feel that we have failed because a high goal we set eluded us. That goal, however, may have been all but impossible to attain, and while we mourn our perceived failure, we ignore the successes we many have achieved in the meantime. Consequently, we should never let any of these battles interfere with our plan for sobriety. We must stay sober at all costs. This day, I'll not strive to impress people who may always disapprove of me. I will also accept my successes even if they fall short of my highest dreams. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple I have never seen a greater monster or miracle than myself.----Montaigne We know we’ve hurt people. We’ve heard our family cry out from pain we’ve caused them. Because of alcohol and other drugs, we acted like monsters. But we now live surrounded with love. We now work to make this world better. Recovery is a miracle. The rebirth of our spirit is our miracle. It’s no wonder we love life the way we do! We’ve been given a second chance. Our joy is overflowing. Our Higher Power must love us very much. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me with the monster that lives within me. I pray it will never again be let out. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll see myself as a miracle. I’ll be grateful for my new life. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Pity is the deadliest feeling that can be offered to a woman. --Vicki Baum We must move forward with confidence, trusting that the strength we need will be given us, having faith in our visions to guide us. Problems need not daunt us. Rather, they can spur us on to more creative activity. They challenge our capabilities. They insist that we not stand still. Pity from others fosters inaction, and passivity invites death of the soul. Instead, our will to live is quickened through others' encouragement. All else dampens the will. Pity feeds the self-pity that rings the death knell. We can give strokes wherever we are today and know that we are helping someone live. And each time we reach out to encourage another, we are breathing new life into ourselves, new life that holds at bay the self-pity that may appear at any moment. We can serve one another best, never by commiserating with sadnesses, but by celebrating life's challenges. They offer the opportunities necessary to our continued growth. Someone needs a word of encouragement from me. I will brighten her vision of the future. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS If there is any indication that he wants to stop, have a good talk with the person most interested in him—usually his wife. Get an idea of his behavior, his problems, his background, the seriousness of his condition, and his religious leanings. You need this information to put yourself in his place, to see how you would like him to approach you if the tables were turned. p. 90 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories MY BOTTLE, MY RESENTMENTS, AND ME - From childhood trauma to skid row drunk, this hobo finally found a Higher Power, bringing sobriety and a long-lost family. When I rode into a small mountain town in an empty freight car, my matted beard and filthy hair would have reached nearly to my belt, if I'd had a belt. I wore a lice-infested, grimy poncho over a reeking pajama top, and a ragged pair of jeans stuffed into cowboy boots with no heels. I carried a knife in one boot and a .38 revolver in the other. For six years I'd been fighting for survival on skid rows and riding across the country in freights. I hadn't eaten in a long time, so was half starved and down to 130 pounds. I was mean and I was drunk. p. 437 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Foreword The basic principles of A.A., as they are known today, were borrowed mainly from the fields of religion and medicine, though some ideas upon which success finally depended were the result of noting the behavior and needs of the Fellowship itself. p. 16 ************************************************** ********* I asked God for strength, that I might achieve... I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health, that I might do greater things... I was given infirmity, that I might do better things. I asked for riches, that I might be happy... I was given poverty, that I might be wise. I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men... I was given weakness, that I might feel the need for God. I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life... I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am among all men, richly blessed. --This prayer was found on an unidentified Civil War soldier SMILES A SMILE COSTS NOTHING, but gives much. It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor but he can be made rich by it. A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters goodwill in business, and is the countersign of friendship. It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and it is natures' best antidote for trouble. Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that it is of no value to anyone until it is given away. --Anonymous *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation NATURE "All are but parts of one stupendous whole. Whose body nature is and God the soul." -- Alexander Pope I belong to this world, this mighty universe -- but more importantly, it belongs to me. I have a responsibility in this world and to this world. No longer can I abrogate my responsibility. God created and is creating through me. What I say, what I do, how I feel is important. I am important. I am terrific -- because God made me and works through me. Sometimes I feel the one-ness. I stand on a mountain top and look at the rolling hills beyond and I feel noble. The birds sing, the streams murmur and I feel a tremendous sense of joy. But I also feel the pain of the world. The people suffering, the pointlessness of man's violence and the injustice of prejudice. All this I feel, too. Spirituality involves this mixture, the paradox of my being an angel in the dust! Thank You for including me in Your design for life. I tremble at the responsibility You have shared with me. ************************************************** ********* "Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light." Micah 7:8 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration To be completely at peace, avoid hurting anyone for any reason. Lord, I will act with kindness and when others are hurtful to me, I will focus on Your presence within them to give me courage to respond gently. If we spend time thanking God for the good things in our lives, we won't have time to do so much complaining. Thank You, Lord, for the gift of life and the many things that bring me joy. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Not Hopelessly Bad "We find that we suffer from a disease, not a moral dilemma. We were critically ill, not hopelessly bad." Basic Text p.16 For many of us, Narcotics Anonymous was the answer to a personal puzzle of long standing. Why did we always feel alone, even in a crowd, we wondered? Why did we do so many crazy, self-destructive things? Why did we feel so badly about ourselves so much of the time? And how had our lives gotten so messed up? We thought we were hopelessly bad, or perhaps hopelessly insane. Given that, it was a great relief to learn we suffered from a disease. Addiction - that was the source of our problems. A disease, we realized, could be treated. And when we treat our disease, we can begin to recover. Today, when we see symptoms of our disease resurfacing in our lives, we need not despair. After all, it's a treatable disease we have, not a moral dilemma. We can be grateful we can recover from the disease of addiction through the application of the Twelve Steps of NA. Just for today: I am grateful that I have a treatable disease, not a moral dilemma. I will continue applying the treatment for the disease of addiction by practicing the NA program. pg. 259 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Take care of yourself my darling And I'll take care of me Live your loneliness knowing That we can both be free. --Mary Lee George Loneliness is something inside us. It's not caused by other people's behavior, though what others do may let us know we are feeling lonely. We have all experienced being alone and really enjoying it--walking by the river or singing a song we like. Feeling lonely is when we feel like nobody cares about us or wants to be with us. Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to feel lonely and know that we are okay no matter what we are feeling. Other times it may be wise to check with others if our feelings are true. We can ask our mother if she cares about us or ask a friend if he wants to play, and be open to the answer. When we feel lonely, we often ignore what others do or say that doesn't agree with what we believe to be true. The important thing to remember is that we are okay no matter what choice we make. When I feel lonely, what can I do about it? You are reading from the book Touchstones. He brought me out into an open place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. --Psalms 18:19 We know in this program that our recovery was not an accident. We may be mystified by it or surprised to be feeling better. Some of us call it a miracle. We have worked hard in our recovery. We have suffered through some difficulties. Yet, our recovery is not an achievement or an accomplishment. It is a gift from our Higher Power. We were powerless to help ourselves. All we could do was ask for help. As we live an improved life and enjoy the benefits of our growth, we may ask why we were given this gift. As we seek to know the will of God, the ancient passage quoted today offers an answer. "He rescued me because He delighted in me." Can we let that in? Thanks to God for all the rescued moments and for all the times I have been saved from my excesses. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Pity is the deadliest feeling that can be offered to a woman. --Vicki Baum We must move forward with confidence, trusting that the strength we need will be given us, having faith in our visions to guide us. Problems need not daunt us. Rather, they can spur us on to more creative activity. They challenge our capabilities. They insist that we not stand still. Pity from others fosters inaction, and passivity invites death of the soul. Instead, our will to live is quickened through others' encouragement. All else dampens the will. Pity feeds the self-pity that rings the death knell. We can give strokes wherever we are today and know that we are helping someone live. And each time we reach out to encourage another, we are breathing new life into ourselves, new life that holds at bay the self-pity that may appear at any moment. We can serve one another best, never by commiserating with sadnesses, but by celebrating life's challenges. They offer the opportunities necessary to our continued growth. Someone needs a word of encouragement from me. I will brighten her vision of the future. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Step Ten Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. --Step Ten of Al Anon Once we have worked our way to this Step, we can maintain and increase our self-esteem by regularly working Step Ten. This Step incorporates the process we have gone through in Steps Four through Nine. We do not work this Step to punish ourselves or to hold ourselves under a constantly critical and demeaning microscope. We do it to maintain self-esteem and harmony in our relationship with others and ourselves. We do it to stay on track. When an issue or problem emerges and needs our attention, identify it and openly discuss it with at least one safe person and God. Accept it. Become willing to let go of it. Ask God to take it from us. Have a change of heart by the willingness to make whatever amend is called for - to do what is necessary to take care of ourselves. Take an appropriate action to resolve the matter. Then let go of the guilt and shame. This is a simple formula for taking care of ourselves. This is how we change. This is how we become changed. This is the process for healing and health. This is the process for achieving self-responsibility and self esteem. The next time we do something that bothers us, the next time we feel off track or off course, we don't have to waste our time or energy feeling ashamed. We can take a Tenth Step. Let the process happen. And move on with our life. God, help me make this Step and other Steps a habitual way of responding to life and my issues. Help me know that I am free to live, to allow myself to fully experiment with and experience life. If I get off course, or if an issue arises that demands my attention, help me deal with it by using the Tenth Step. I am a terrific human being, I deserve wonderful things to happen to me... and they are. --Ruth Fishel ****************************** Journey to the Heart The Path Is One of Joy I attended a church service at the Sanctuario de Chimayo in New Mexico. The church and its sacred healing ground had touched and healed me before. Today I came looking not for a miracle, but just a touch of its healing power to help me on my way. Instead, I found another miracle. The miracle of joy.When I entered the church, I noticed how glum and somber I became. I noticed how seriously, almost sadly, I approached much of spiritual growth. I believed that spirituality asked– required– this of me. If I was doing it properly, I would be demonstrating what a grim affair it was. After the service, I stopped at the church’s gift shop and purchased some mementos to bring the energy of this holy place home with me– items to remind me of the spiritual powers available to us in everyday life, no matter where we are. I also visited another gift shop near the church. There I bought a string of chili peppers called holy chills. Then I brought all my gifts back to the priest to bless: a wooden cross for the wall, a rosary for my daughter, one that glows in the dark so she’ll know God’s there, a small bag of sacred earth from the church grounds to remind me of the healing powers in this universe, a small jar of holy water to remind me that all of the journey is sacred, and a string of holy chilis to help me remember to smile. The path does not have to be such a grim affair. Let go of the heaviness in your heart and soul. Sometimes the best way to demonstrate your faith is by learning to enjoy life. ***** more language of letting go Love yourself for who you are "I'm tired of working so hard to be skinny, wearing the latest clothes, and trying to get my makeup just right," Gina, a beautiful woman, said to me one day. "I just want to be loved for me, for what's in my heart." It's healthy to look our best, but some of us substitute self-esteem for what we wear, how much money we make, and the things we possess. One day, I met a woman who had long hair, bright eyes, and she played beautiful Irish folk music. She loved to sing and dance. Her eyes lit up when she talked about her music. I could see how passionate and alive she was. Her band performed for people, but usually for a nominal fee or for free, she explained. "But we want to get better," she said. "I really want to be somebody some day." "You are somebody now," I said. Pursue your dreams. Drive that car. Wear nice clothes. Have your hair done up, just right. But don't forget to love yourself without those things. You are somebody now. God, help me see beyond all the exterior trappings I surround myself with. Help me see the real beauty in myself and the people in my life. ***** Common Fears Choosing a New Response by Madisyn Taylor Our minds are powerful and moving into fear is a common experience that we can each look at and change. Everyone has fears—it is a natural part of being human. Fear can protect us from harm by sending a rush of adrenaline to help us physically deal with potential danger. But there are times when fear may keep us from participating fully in life. Once we realize that fear is a state of mind, we can choose to face our fears, change our minds, and create the life we want to live. Our minds are powerful tools to be used by our higher selves; like computers, storing and using data to make certain connections between thought and response. We have the ability to observe these and choose differently. No matter where the fear came from, we can create new connections by choosing new thoughts. When our souls and minds are in alignment, we create a new experience of reality. This journey requires many small steps, as well as patience and courage through the process. Here’s an example: You decide to overcome your fear of driving on the freeway. Your plan of action starts with examining your thoughts and finding a new way of seeing the situation. When you’re ready, you enlist a calm companion to support you as you take the first step of merging into the slow lane and using the first exit. Your heart may be racing, but your confidence will be boosted by the accomplishment. Repeat this until you are comfortable, with or without help, and then drive one exit furth! er. When you are ready, you can try driving in the middle lane, for longer periods each time, until you find yourself going where you want to go. This gradual process is similar for conquering any fear, but if you find it overwhelming, you can always seek the help of a professional. You may think that you are the only one with a particular fear, that nobody else could possibly be scared of ordinary things such as water, heights, public speaking, or flying. These types of fears are very common, and you can have great success overcoming them. Remember, it is not the absence of the fear but the courage to take action anyway that determines success. When we learn to face our fears, we learn to observe our thoughts and feelings but not be ruled by them. Instead we choose how to shape the lives we want. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We’re often told that alcoholics and other addictive persons are perfectionists, impatient about any shortcomings — especially our own. We tend to set impossible goals for ourselves, struggling fiercely to reach our unattainable ideals. Then, of course — since no person could possibly meet the extremely high standards we demand of ourselves — we find ourselves falling short. Discouragement and depression set in; we angrily punish ourselves for being less than superhuman. The next time around, rather than setting more realistic goals, we set them even higher. And we fall farther, then punish ourselves more severely. Isn’t it about time I stopped setting unattainable goals for myself? Today I Pray May God temper my own image of myself as a super-person. May I settle for less than perfection from myself, as well as from others. For only God is perfect, and I am limited by being human. Today I Will Remember I am not God; I am only human. ************************************************** Food For Thought Sponsors Most of us never outgrow our need for a sponsor. Someone who has had similar experiences can give us the understanding, which we require in order to continue to grow in the program. A sponsor who maintains current, clean abstinence and who seriously works the program is someone who inspires us to follow. We could not control our disease by ourselves. As we recover, we continue to need help. With a food sponsor, we can discuss our particular menus and problems. When we make a mistake, we need to share it with another person in order to profit from it and put it behind us. A program sponsor gives us encouragement and insight as we work the steps. When we are maintaining our desired weight, a maintenance sponsor helps us make any necessary adjustments. Sponsorship is one of the most important OA tools, and we are foolish if we do not take advantage of it. Alone, we are powerless over food. Thank You for sponsors. ***************************************** One Day At A Time SERVICE “The world is full of willing people; some willing to work ... the rest willing to let them.” Robert Frost There is a time when we first come into program when we need to just sit back and receive. We come in a desperate state, empty of love and acceptance, with nothing to guide us and no place to go. We learn to feel our emptiness and to accept resting on others and being supported. Then we begin to “get it.” The tingling excitement of hope is aroused in us. A source of power to live is discovered inside of ourselves. At that point, a change must take place if we are to continue our success. While we will always remain a receiver, we must move into the ring of the givers. It requires a new role of courage and boldness to take this step. Fear of what to say, how to sound, and quality of performance must be overcome. This is called Step Twelve. One Day at a Time . . . God, grant me the courage to take Step Twelve, however imperfectly, to grow in my ability to share what I have so generously been given. ~ Mary Clare ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote In our personal stories you will find a wide variation in the way each teller approaches and conceives of the Power which is greater than himself. Whether we agree with a particular approach or conception seems to make little difference. Experience has taught us that these are matters about which, for our purpose, we need not be worried. They are questions for each individual to settle for himself. - Pg. 50 - We Agnostics Hour To Hour - Book - Quote 'Let Go and Let Go' is a simple phrase that helps us realize that we are not in charge of the world. Our need to control and manage all things in our life will soon be replaced as we allow our Spiritual Source to operate. Let this phrase gently lead me to practice Step three each time I hear it in a meeting or see it written on the walls of our meetings. I Thank You God I will say 'thank you God' today each time something happens that feels nice. If I enjoy my cup of tea in the morning, I will say 'thank you God.' If I see a quarter on the sidewalk I will pick it up and thank God. If someone smiles at me in a way that feels good, if the sun feels warm on my back, if my car starts, my dinner is there or someone in my life is with me for another day, I will say 'thank you', recognizing that these are all blessings. By the end of the day, I will have thanked God for a lot of things. I will have remembered what makes my life worth living. I will have increased my conscious contact with the source of all good. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'There are no deals being offered here. You cannot trade the courage needed to live every moment for immunity from life's sorrows.' ~Oriah Mountain Dreamer, The Invitation. To gain that worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Things work out best for those who make the best of the way things work out. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am a terrific human being. I deserve wonderful things to happen to me . . . and they are. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote If it smells like a duck, looks like a duck, walks like a duck and talks like a duck... It's probably an alcoholic. - Unknown origin ( Probably Duck. )
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September 6
Daily Reflections REMOVING THREATS TO SOBRIETY . . . . except when to do so would injure them or others. . . . ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 59 Step Nine restores in me a feeling of belonging, not only to the human race but also to the everyday world. First, the Step makes me leave the safety of A.A., so that I may deal with non-A.A. people "out there," on their terms. It is a frightening but necessary action if I am to get back into life. Second, Step Nine allows me to remove threats to my sobriety by healing past relationships. Step Nine points the way to a more serene sobriety by letting me clear away past wreckage, lest it bring me down. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Another of the mottoes of A.A. is "Live and Let Live." This, of course, means tolerance of people who think differently than we do, whether they are in A.A. or outside of A.A. We cannot afford the luxury of being intolerant or critical of other people. We do not try to impose our wills on those who differ from us. We are not "holier than thou." We do not have all the answers. We are not better than other good people. We live the best way we can and we allow others to do likewise. Am I willing to live and let live? Meditation For The Day "And this is life eternal, that we may know Thee, the only true God." Learning to know God as best you can draws the eternal life nearer to you. Freed from some of the limitations of humanity, you can grow in the things that are eternal. You can strive for what is real and of eternal value. The more you try to live in the consciousness of the unseen world, the gentler will be your passing into it when the time comes for you to go. This life on earth should be largely a preparation for the eternal life to come. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may live each day as though it were my last. I pray that I may live my life as though it were everlasting. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It We Need Outside Help, p.248 It was evident that a solitary self-appraisal, and the admission of our defects based upon that alone, wouldn't be nearly enough. We'd have to have outside help if we were surely to know and admit the truth about ourselves--the help of God and of another human being. Only by discussing ourselves, holding back nothing, only by being willing to take advice and accept direction could we set foot on the road to straight thinking, solid honesty, and genuine humility. ******************************** If we are fooling ourselves, a competent adviser can see this quickly. And, as he skillfully guides us away from our fantasies, we are surprised to find that we have few of the usual urges to defend ourselves against unpleasant truths. In no other way can fear, pride, and ignorance be so readily melted. After a time, we realize that we are standing firm on a brand-new foundation for integrity, and we gratefully credit our sponsors, whose advice pointed the way. 1. 12 & 12, p.59 2. Grapevine, August 1961 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Change is sometimes necessary Improvement. Despite the fact that many of us live turbulent, chaotic lives, we may find in sobriety that we don't like change. This causes us to seek our security in familiar places, rather than reach out for the unknown that lies ahead. This may not be real security, however, because familiar places and situations also change. Our resistance to change may simply be the fear of trying something new. If we find that fear of change is causing us to put up with a situation that's become unsatisfactory, we need to adjust our attitude toward it. While we view change as risky, it may be the necessary route for improvement. Let's start by simply accepting the idea that change is sometimes necessary. After that, we can expect our Higher Power to guide us to the new situations that are right for us. Today I may find myself fearing change. I'll remind myself that nothing ever stays the same, and that only change can bring the true good I'm always seeking. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Addiction is answering the spiritual calling inside us by going to the wrong address. ---Chris Ringer Where can we go to feel better, to feel spiritually alive? Not to alcohol or other drugs. Not to compulsive spending, gambling, or sex. Not to overeating or overworking. When we turn to these things to feel better, we’re trading one addiction for another, we’re going to the “wrong address.” What is the right address? Our inner needs. Our Higher Power. Our recovery program. Our friends. Soon, we become part of a network of “safe addresses.” Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, keep me on the right path. I don’t want to go to the wrong address anymore. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll make sure I have at least three “right address” in my wallet or purse. I’ll list names and day and evening phone numbers of people who will love and help. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning We can build upon foundations anywhere if they are well and firmly laid. --Ivy Compton-Burnett Recovery is a process, one that rebuilds our lives. And the Twelve Steps provide the foundation to support our growth as healthy, productive women. But each Step must be carefully and honestly worked, or the whole foundation will be weakened. How lucky we are to have found this program and the structure it offers. We looked for structure in our past. We searched, maybe for years, running from one panacea to another, hoping to find ourselves. Booze--pills--food--lovers--causes; none gave us the security we longed for. We couldn't find ourselves because we hadn't defined ourselves. At last we've come home. Self-definition is the program's guarantee. Not only can we discover who we are, now, but also we can change, nurture those traits that we favor, diminish those that attract trouble. My actions today are the key. They tell who I am at this moment. Who I become is up to me. I will pick a Step and reflect before I move ahead. The strength of my foundation depends on it. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge. The family may object to this, but unless he is in a dangerous physical condition, it is better to risk it. Don’t deal with him when he is very drunk, unless he is ugly and the family needs your help. Wait for the end of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval. Then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so. If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to you as a person who has recovered. You should be described to him as one of a fellowship who, as part of their own recovery, try to help others and who will be glad to talk to him if he cares to see you. p. 90 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories MY BOTTLE, MY RESENTMENTS, AND ME - From childhood trauma to skid row drunk, this hobo finally found a Higher Power, bringing sobriety and a long-lost family. But, I'm ahead of myself. I believe my alcoholism really begun when I was eleven years old and my mother was brutally murdered. Until then my life had been much the same as any of the other boys who lived in a small town during that period. p. 437 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Foreword After three years of trial and error in selecting the most workable tenets upon which the Society could be based, and after a large amount of failure in getting alcoholics to recover, three successful groups emerged--the first at Akron, the second at New York, and the third at Cleveland. Even then it was hard to find twoscore of sure recoveries in all three groups. pp. 16-17 ************************************************** ********* Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. --Carl Jung During his lifetime, an individual should devote his efforts to creating happiness and enjoy it. --Ch'enTu-hsiu "It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong." --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you." --Madeline Bridges Understanding a person does not mean condoning; it only means that one does not accuse him as if one were God or a judge placed above him. --Erich Fromm *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation FEAR "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." -- Franklin Delano Roosevelt Fear is a killer. It is a killer because it drains us of life, energy and creativity. Fear petrifies the human spirit. I spent a lot of yesterdays afraid. Afraid of people finding out. Afraid of the telephone. Afraid of where it would all end. Afraid of me! I did not realize that I was feeding the fear with my behavior. I drank myself into fear. The day I stopped drinking alcohol was the day I stopped giving energy to my fear. Today I live my life without abnormal or unrealistic fears. Today I enjoy my life. I work through my problems. I am not afraid of my shadow. Today I love me. Lord may I always connect my unrealistic fears with my behavior -- and begin the change. ************************************************** ********* "I will turn their mourning into joy, I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow." Jeremiah 31:13 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him. Psalm 126:5-6 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration In everything imitate God and you will come to know Him better and better. Lord, I ask Your help to come close to You in my thoughts and bring Your love to this earth. If you are prepared to die, you will also be prepared to live. Lord, You have given me life and made ready the Kingdom of Heaven. I dedicate myself to You. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Regular Meeting Attendance "We have learned from our group experience that those who keep coming to our meetings regularly stay clean." Basic Text p.9 The NA program gives us a new pattern of living. One of the basic elements of that new pattern is regular meeting attendance. For the newcomer, living clean is a brand new experience. All that once was familiar is changed. The old people, places, and things that served as props on the stage of our lives are gone. New stresses appear, no longer masked or deadened by drugs. That's why we often suggest that newcomers attend a meeting every day. No matter what comes up, no matter how crazy the day gets, we know that our daily meeting awaits us. There, we can renew contact with other recovering addicts, people who know what we're going through because they've been through it themselves. No day needs to go by without the relief we get only from such fellowship. As we mature in recovery, we get the same kinds of benefits from regular meeting attendance. Regardless of how long we've been clean, we never stop being addicts. True, we probably won't immediately start using mass quantities of drugs if we miss our meetings for a few days. But the more regularly we attend NA meetings, the more we reinforce our identity as recovering addicts. And each meeting helps put us that much further from becoming using addicts again. Just for today: I will make a commitment to include regular meeting attendance as a part of my new pattern of living. pg. 260 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun. --Katharine Hepburn The first good news each day is that we wake up. We are breathing. Our heats are beating, our minds working. The adventure of living begins. What does the day hold in store? We have no way of knowing what surprises lie in wait for us today. We may look forward, not just to the expected, but to the unexpected. Whom shall we meet? What will we see? What will we learn? How will we be entertained? What changes to help others will come our way? What chances to love and be loved? Now that our eyes are opened to today's beauty, let us remain alert for new sights. Let us cry when sad, smile when touched, and laugh at what is funny in a whole new lifetime before us. What can I be thankful for today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. I learned to listen to my body with an inner concentration like meditation, to get guidance as to when to exercise and when to rest. I learned that healing and cure are active processes in which I myself needed to participate. --Rollo May In our spiritual growth, one of our movements is from passive to active, from helpless to responsive. For example, we are passive if we don't take responsibility for our bodies and don't care for our wellness and conditioning. Do we passively leave our health in the doctor's hands? Do we take responsibility for our relationships? Are we active in nurturing them? We could add our own interests and positive energy to enrich them. Our Higher Power speaks to us in a quiet, subtle voice, which can easily be ignored until we learn to listen. It takes courage to listen to this inner voice. When we listen, we develop a relationship that is a strong force moving us into recovery. We are still powerless over many things, but we can make active choices in how we will grow and how we will respond. I will be guided in my choices by my inner voice. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. We can build upon foundations anywhere if they are well and firmly laid. --Ivy Compton-Burnett Recovery is a process, one that rebuilds our lives. And the Twelve Steps provide the foundation to support our growth as healthy, productive women. But each Step must be carefully and honestly worked, or the whole foundation will be weakened. How lucky we are to have found this program and the structure it offers. We looked for structure in our past. We searched, maybe for years, running from one panacea to another, hoping to find ourselves. Booze--pills--food--lovers--causes; none gave us the security we longed for. We couldn't find ourselves because we hadn't defined ourselves. At last we've come home. Self-definition is the program's guarantee. Not only can we discover who we are, now, but also we can change, nurture those traits that we favor, diminish those that attract trouble. My actions today are the key. They tell who I am at this moment. Who I become is up to me. I will pick a Step and reflect before I move ahead. The strength of my foundation depends on it. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. The Good in Step Ten Step Ten says: "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." It does not suggest that we ignore what is right in our life. It says we continue to take a personal inventory and keep a focus on ourselves. When we take an inventory, we will want to look for many things. We can search out feelings that need our attention. We can look for low self-esteem creeping back in. We can look for old ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. We can look for mistakes that need correcting. But a critical part of our inventory can focus on what we're doing right and on all that is good around us. Part of our codependency is an obsessive focus on what's wrong and what we might be doing wrong - real or imagined. In recovery we're learning to focus on what's right. Look fearlessly, with a loving, positive eye. What did you do right today? Did you behave differently today than you would have a year ago? Did you reach out to someone and allow yourself to be vulnerable? You can compliment yourself for that. Did you have a bad day but dealt effectively with it? Did you practice gratitude or acceptance? Did you take a risk, own your power, or set a boundary? Did you take responsibility for yourself in a way that you might not have before? Did you take time for prayer or meditation? Did you trust God? Did you let someone do something for you? Even on our worst days, we can find one thing we did right. We can find something to feel hopeful about. We can find something to look forward to. We can focus realistically on visions of what can be. God, help me let go of my need to stay immersed in negativity. I can change the energy in my environment and myself from negative to positive. I will affirm the good until it sinks in and feels real. I will also strive to find one quality that I like about someone else who's important to me, and I will take the risk of telling him or her that. Today I'm listening to my self-talk with a non-judgemental ear. It is okay to make mistakes today. I'm giving myself positive messages with permission to accept both my victories and defeats. --Ruth Fishel ****************************** Journey To The Heart Imagine All the Possibilities Think of all the possibilities for your life– for love, for work, for growth. Think of all the possibilities for adventure, for fun, and for service. This day, this week, this month, this year abounds with possibilities. Each task you have to do, each problem you encounter and need to solve abounds with possibilities. Your life abounds with possibilities. For a long time, we only saw some of the possibilities life held. We’d look at a situation and see the possibilities for guilt, victimization, sadness, and despair. We’d tell ourselves there was only one choice, or no choice, or that something had to be done in a particular way– the hardest and dreariest way possible. We’d neglect to envision the other option– the choices for joy, for making my event more fun, more pleasant, more enjoyable. You don’t need to limit yourself anymore. You’ve opened your heart. Now open your mind. Look around. See all the possibilities. The universe is teaming with them. It will lead and guide you into this abundance if you ask it for help and them allow that to happen. Open to life’s abundance. Open to all its possibilities. The more open you become, the more creative you’ll be– in work, in play, in love, in life. The more creative you are, the more possibilities you’ll see. ***** more language of letting go Stand up to your fear of abandonment "I'm in a relationship with someone who isn't good for me," a woman said to me one day. "My boyfriend manipulates me, and he often doesn't tell me the truth. But every time I get ready to kick him to the curb, my fear of abandonment sets in." Many of us have a fear of abandonment. Some of us let it rule our lives. We'll do anything just so that person doesn't walk out and leave us alone. I spent many years letting fear of abandonment control me. After a while, I finally wore out that belief. I just got sick and tired of worrying about whether I was good enough for that person. Then a new thought set me free. If you don't want to be my friend or my lover, or my employer, I don't want you in my life. No more emotional blackmail. No more stress. No more having to second-guess what that other person is feeling. Are you spending your time worried about someone leaving you? Does your fear of being abandoned leave you feeling like an underdog in your relationship? Let it go. Stand fast. And listen to what I'm about to tell you. If that person doesn't want to be in your life, just let him or her leave. Do you want someone in your life who really doesn't want to be there? Of course not. Let him or her go. Once you adopt this belief, it's easy to send the bad relationships packing, and the good people want to stay. God, help me believe that I deserve only the best of relationships. ***** A Matter of Significance Recognizing Your Value by Madisyn Taylor Change your thinking to knowing that your life matters and that you are important. It can be easy sometimes to buy into the illusion of our own insignificance. We may see large corporations or institutions, celebrities or successful people in our community, and compare ourselves to them, thinking that their fame or material power affirm how little our own lives amount to. But nothing could be further from the truth. Every single one of us matters—tremendously. Our very existence affects countless people in countless ways. And because we are each essentially a microcosm of the larger universe, our internal experiences affect the whole of life more than we could ever imagine. The world simply could not exist as it does now if you, or any one of us, were not in it. Perhaps you are aware that on some level you believe your life does not matter. If this thought resonates within you, maybe it is time to explore why you feel this way. You may have formed self-rejecting or belittling beliefs as a child to keep yourself safe or to help you make sense of confusing situations. You may have felt unseen or unheard and decided that there was something wrong with you, rather than with the attention span of the people around you. Spend some time looking into where these feelings of insignificance first took root, and see what changes you might be able to make in your life and in your heart. This one belief in your own unimportance could be limiting you and impacting your life in enormous ways. When you shift your perceptions around your own ability to affect your life and impact the world, you may discover wonderful parts of yourself that you had long ago forgotten. There may even be exciting new parts that you never even knew existed. When you gain awareness of how much your life really does matter, new sources of energy can emerge and your sense of connection with the world is renewed. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day “During acute depression,” wrote A.A. co-founder Bill W., “avoid trying to set your whole life in order at once. If you take on assignments so heavy that you are sure to fail in them at the moment, then you are allowing yourself to be tricked by your unconscious. Thus you will continue to make sure of yo8ur failure, and when it comes you will have another alibi for still more retreat into depression. In short, the ‘all or nothing’ attitude is a most destructive one. It is best to begin with whatever the irreducible minimums of activity are. Then work for an enlargement of these — day by day”. When I’m discouraged by setbacks, am I willing to start over? Today I Pray When I am immobilized by depression, may I set small, reasonable goals — as miniature perhaps as saying hello to a child, washing my own coffee cup, neatening my desk, offering a short prayer. May I scrap my own script for failure, which sets me up for deeper depression. Today I Will Remember Goals set too high set me back. ****************************** One More Day Lie down and listen to the crabgrass grow, the faucet leak, and learn to leave them so. – Marya Mannes Sometimes we are driven by a need to get everything done. We have an inner sense of what we should be, and we work toward meeting that expectation. But we may strive beyond those goals because of what we believe our friends, our coworkers, and even the advertising media expect of us. Only we decide which expectations to satisfy. But first, we must be sure that the things we strive for are really our needs and goals. If an alphabetized spice rack or an organized workbench gives us no satisfaction, why should we alphabetize or organize? If an imperfect lawn doesn’t bother us, we can let go of our concern and let the crabgrass grow. Today, I will hold on only to my goals and expectations. I will let go of those which give me no joy. ************************************************** ******************* Food For Thought The Pause that Refreshes For strength, we are learning to lean on our Higher Power instead of food. We have undoubtedly taken many “breaks” which involved ingesting one or another addictive substance. Instead of making us stronger, those substances eventually made us weaker. Thanks to OA, we are finding a dependable source of refreshment. Starting the day with a few minutes of contact with God enables us to draw from His strength that which we need. Throughout the day, when we become weary or perplexed or pressured, we can pause to renew that contact. It is a constant source of Power whenever we open ourselves to it. Allowing ourselves to become too busy is asking for trouble. We can concentrate actively for only so long without a period of rest and relaxation. Frequent time out each day to consult with our Higher Power makes our work more effective and our leisure more creative. I seek Your presence, Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time RISK “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin I think that many people, like myself, come into Twelve Step Programs out of desperation. I had just begun to realize that the price I was paying to continue eating compulsively was way too high. For me, I noticed I was a very distracted and impatient mother. I saw my children getting more and more out of control because I had neither the time nor the energy to discipline myself, let alone them. I started to wonder what kind of lives I was training them to live. I saw my husband disappear more and more into books and work, and retreating from me. My body was beginning to rebel against what I was doing to it. I was sleeping in a recliner because I could not breathe well enough to sleep in my bed. My knees and my feet were beginning to hurt. I was unable to do even routine housework and shopping without great effort and discomfort. I began to realize this was no way to live. I was consumed with both the fear of living and the fear of dying. I had a friend who was in a similar condition, and together we gathered up the courage to attend a few program meetings. I also discovered a wonderful community of program members online and here is where I found the courage to move forward and to begin my recovery journey. It was also online I found the fellow sufferer in recovery who became my sponsor. I am so thankful my Higher Power made me realize that I could move through the fear I had about living. With the help of my program and my Higher Power, I became a blossoming flower who did not die in the bud. One day at a time... I accept that fear may be in my life and that my Higher Power is stronger than anything I fear. I move forward today trusting my Higher Power to draw me to my highest good. I know that growth comes with action and I am willing to risk moving through the fear into positive action. ~ Janet H. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself. We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up, just as much as the feeling we have for a friend. Sometimes we had to search fearlessly, but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us. - Pg. 55 - We Agnostics Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Your Divine Source will always answer your prayers. Sometimes the answer is 'no' but we say, 'My Creator didn't give me what I wanted so my Creator doesn't listen to me.''The Divine listens, maybe you don't. As I learn more about Divine will, help me not to interpret internal conflict as a God who doesn't care. Home I will value my home today. I will take time for those I love. I know that my time is the most valuable thing I have to give. Our world runs at a fast pace, we are all on a track to get somewhere but, at the end of the day, where are we all going in such a rush? What am I looking for so hard in the future that makes it worth running right by my present? - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Anger can be a source of personal power for people. When you get angry at God or others, even yourself, you feel the energy and you feel strong, not the helplessness of tears. Anger is a form of emotional denial. Anger 'may be the dubious luxury of normal men' but it is not for me. (P 66, AA Big Book) "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book A sponsor's prayer: Whether I call them Baby or Pigeon or Squirrel - please don't let them become parrots. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am listening to my self-talk with a gentle non-judgemental ear. It is okay to make mistakes today. I am giving myself positive messages with permission to accept both my victories and defeats. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Being a little bit alcoholic is like being a little bit pregnant. ( And the longer you go, the more it shows. ) - Unknown origin.
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AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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September 7
Daily Reflections "OUR SIDE OF THE STREET" We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worth while can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. His faults are not discussed. We stick to our own. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 77-78 I made amends to my dad after I quit drinking. My words fell on deaf ears since I had blamed him for my troubles. Several months later I made amends to my dad again. This time I wrote a letter in which I did not blame him nor mention his faults. It worked, and at last I understood! My side of the street is all that I'm responsible for and--thanks to God and A.A.-- it's clean for today. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Another of the mottoes of A.A. is "Easy Does It." This means that we just go along in A.A. doing the best we can and not getting steamed up over problems that are in A.A. or outside of it. We alcoholics are emotional people and we have gone to excess in almost everything we have done. We have not been moderate in many things. We have not known how to relax. Faith in a Higher Power can help us to learn to take it easy. We are not running the world. I am only one among many. We are resolved to live normal, regular lives. From our A.A. experience we learn that "easy does it." Have I learned to take it easy? Meditation For The Day "The eternal God is thy refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms." Sheltering arms express the loving protection of God's spirit. Human beings, in their troubles and difficulties need nothing so much as a refuge, a place to relax where they can lay down their burdens and get relief from cares. Say to yourself: "God is my refuge." Say it until its truth sinks into your very soul. Say it until you know it and are sure of it. Nothing can seriously upset you or make you afraid, if God is truly your refuge. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may go each day to God as a refuge until fear goes and peace and security come. I pray that I may feel deeply secure in the Haven of His spirit. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It God's Gifts, p.249 We see that the sun never sets upon A.A.'s Fellowship; that more than three hundred and fifty thousand of us have now recovered from our malady; that we have everywhere begun to transcend the formidable barriers of race, creed, and nationality. This assurance that so many of us have been able to meet our responsibilities for sobriety and for growth and effectiveness in the troubled world where we live, will surely fill us with the deepest joy and satisfaction. But, as a people who have nearly always learned the hard way, we shall certainly not congratulate ourselves. We shall perceive these assets to be God's gift, which have been in part matched by an increasing willingness on our part to find and do His will for us. Grapevine, July 1965 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places A New approach to Freedom Staying Sober Most of us discover that we've had mixed-up ideas about the nature of freedom. Real freedom is not simply doing exactly as one pleases; privileges would be the correct term for that. And desirable as political freedom is, it cannot give us what we're really seeking. We should approach freedom by recognizing that we're really seeking release from the bondage of self. This self-concern can be one of the worst tyrannies humans face. As we are released from the bondage of self, we learn that our choices begin to multiply. We make wise decisions instead of being driven to certain actions. We are truly free. Today I'll enjoy a freedom that is available to anybody who seeks it wholeheartedly. I'll know it as the freedom only God can offer. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple A lair needs a good memory. --- Quintilian Many of us wasted a lot of energy trying to keep track of whom we had told what. For example, we’d tell our boss one story and our family another. Then we’d work hard to make sure they never met. How wonderful to be done with that way of life! We now have a life based on honestly. We can now be ourselves where we go. Our program tell us that to get sober, we must live a life of strict honesty. Honesty is our rule to get and stay sober. Life is much more simple this way. We can relax and think of the happy details of life. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to live honestly. Being honest brings me closer to You. Help me become closer to You. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll read the first three pages of Chapter Five in Alcoholics Anonymous (Third Edition). Here, I’ll learn why honesty is so important to my recovery. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Remember your good memories, but live for today and keep the memories behind you. --Jodi K. Elliott The stuff of our memories comprises who we have become. Each recollection is akin to an ingredient in a simmering pot of stew. The full flavor of our lives is enhanced by each additional experience, whether it is painful or joyful. Our experiences have a way of dovetailing, of grouping themselves, perhaps even tailoring themselves, to provide us the best advantage. So human is our tendency to linger in thought on past times that we fail to take advantage, to be fully present in the moment, which is assuredly making a necessary contribution to the total panorama of our lives. Who are we to judge the value of any single experience? It's how all experiences have mingled, that we must trust. We can be certain in retrospect, that those situations that created the most inner turmoil also offered us the most as growing, developing women. The experiences offered today, in the 24 hours ahead, are significant because they are unique. I will cherish them for the addition they are making to my total person. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS If he does not want to see you, never force yourself upon him. Neither should the family hysterically plead with him to do anything, nor should they tell him much about you. They should wait for the end of his next drinking bout. You might place this book where he can see it in the interval. Here no specific rule can be given. The family must decide these things. But urge them not to be over-anxious, for that might spoil matters. pp. 90-91 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories MY BOTTLE, MY RESENTMENTS, AND ME - From childhood trauma to skid row drunk, this hobo finally found a Higher Power, bringing sobriety and a long-lost family. One night my mother failed to return home from her job at a car manufacturing plant. The next morning there was still no sign of her or any clue to why she had disappeared; with great apprehension the police were called. Since I was a mama's boy, this was especially traumatic for me. And to make matters unbelievably worse, a few days later the police came and arrested my father. They had found mom's mutilated body in a field outside of town and wanted to question him. In that instant the family life I knew was destroyed! My father was soon returned because the police had found a pair of glasses that did not belong to him at the murder scene. This clue led to the man who had so brutally killed my mother. pp. 437-438 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Foreword Nevertheless, the infant Society determined to set down its experience in a book which finally reached the public in April 1939. At this time the recoveries numbered about one hundred. The book was called "Alcoholics Anonymous," and from it the Fellowship took its name. In it alcoholism was described from the alcoholic's point of view, the spiritual ideas of the Society were codified for the first time in the Twelve Steps, and the application of these Steps to the alcoholic's dilemma was made clear. The remainder of the book was devoted to thirty stories or case histories in which the alcoholics described their drinking experiences and recoveries. This established identification with alcoholic readers and proved to them that the virtually impossible had now become possible. The book "Alcoholics Anonymous" became the basic text of the Fellowship, and it still is. This present volume proposes to broaden and deepen the understanding of the Twelve Steps as first was written in the earlier work. p. 17 ************************************************** ********* Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish one's growth without destroying one's roots. --Cited in The Best of BITS & PIECES When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed, When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, Count your many blessings, name them one by one, And it will surprise you what God has done. --unknown "Whatever you are trying to avoid won't go away until you confront it." --Anonymous Serenity isn't freedom from the storm, it is peace within the storm. --unknown "We learn the magical lesson that making the most of what we have turns it into more." --Codependent No More Inner peace should not be determined by outward experiences. --unknown *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation WORK "Without work all life goes rotten." -- Albert Camus A spiritual discovery that I have made is that I work in order to be, not simply to exist. To work is human. Work opens the door to the meaning of life, and it stops life from being boring and dull. Work is creative. When I was drinking, I did not have this understanding of work and so it became a burden, something I had to get through, something I had to do for money or security. I missed the creative dynamic of work and how it could enable me to feel good about myself. In recovery I work, create and grow not only in my job, but also in my leisure hours. Indeed the distinction between the two often overlaps because the program I take into the office is the same program I take into the party or disco. Today God is to be found in everything. ************************************************** ********* "Happy are those...whose hope is in the Lord their God." Psalm 146:5 "Then he said to them all: 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'" Luke 9:23 "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 "Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations." Revelation 22:1-2 Let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20 "To You, O LORD, I lift up my soul." Psalm 25:1 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration The way to freedom is the belief that we have the ability to choose. Lord, help me make good choices and never be blinded by the false idea that I am a victim of circumstances. The more difficult your burden, the stronger you are after you overcome it. Lord, bless me as You bring me to everlasting life. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Resentment And Forgiveness "Where there has been wrong, the program teaches us the spirit of forgiveness." Basic Text p.12 In NA, we begin to interact with the world around us. We no longer live in isolation. But freedom from isolation has its price. The more we interact with people, the more often we'll find someone stepping on our toes. And such are the circumstances in which resentments are often born. Resentments, justified or not, are dangerous to our ongoing recovery. The longer we harbor resentments, the more bitter they become, eventually poisoning us. To stay clean, we must find the capacity to let go of our resentments, the capacity to forgive. We first develop this capacity in working Steps Eight and Nine, and we keep it alive by regularly taking the Tenth Step. Sometimes when we are unwilling to forgive, it helps to remember that we, too, may someday require another person's forgiveness. Haven't we all, at one time or another, done something that we deeply regretted? And aren't we healed in some measure when others accept our sincere amends? An attitude of forgiveness is a little easier to develop when we remember that we are all doing the very best we can. And someday we, too, will need forgiveness. Just for today: I will let go of my resentments. Today, if I am wronged, I will practice forgiveness, knowing that I need forgiveness myself. pg. 261 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The sun's the life giver. . . I talk to it like you would to a god. --Peter Firth Having a Power greater than ourselves to believe in is like knowing the sun is in the sky. There are days when the sun shines with a brilliance that lights up everything around us--tree branches, snowflakes, the faces of our friends. When a seed is planted, it is the sun's warmth that invites it out of the ground to grow into a fruit or flower. The sun is the center the earth rotates around. The sun gives warmth and light to the earth, sometimes in ways we don't always notice. There are days we do not see the sun--it is obscured by thick clouds. Yet even on these days, we know the sun's rays still reach the earth and nourish her. God nourishes and warms our lives the same way the sun does the earth. Some days we easily see the presence of such a power in our lives, and other days we cannot see past the clouds. But God gives our lives a light-filled center and nourishes us even on quiet cloudy days. How is God present in my life right now? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Friendship and community are, first of all, inner qualities. --Henri J. M. Nouwen Many of us mistakenly search outside ourselves for answers. We feel small inside and not very powerful. Many of us men have tried to change our lives by affecting the people around us. Naturally, when we think of making friends, we assume we would start by getting a friend. But such beginnings often don't lead very far. Friendship begins as an inward attitude or feeling before it is expressed outwardly. Perhaps we could first notice whom we feel friendly toward. Whom do we admire? Whom do we feel an affinity with? Let that friendliness exist within, and it will begin to express itself. Are we grasping for acceptance or response? Let us remain with our own goodwill and not return to old attempts to get someone else to change. Friendship exists as a feeling of admiration, of love, of fellowship, without demand. And when we are another man's friends, let us accept his friendship and enjoy it without trying to change it or him. Today, I will simply notice my friendly feelings toward others. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Remember your good memories, but live for today and keep the memories behind you. --Jodi K. Elliott The stuff of our memories comprises who we have become. Each recollection is akin to an ingredient in a simmering pot of stew. The full flavor of our lives is enhanced by each additional experience, whether it is painful or joyful. Our experiences have a way of dovetailing, of grouping themselves, perhaps even tailoring themselves, to provide us the best advantage. So human is our tendency to linger in thought on past times that we fail to take advantage, to be fully present in the moment, which is assuredly making a necessary contribution to the total panorama of our lives. Who are we to judge the value of any single experience? It's how all experiences have mingled, that we must trust. We can be certain in retrospect, that those situations that created the most inner turmoil also offered us the most as growing, developing women. The experiences offered today, in the 24 hours ahead, are significant because they are unique. I will cherish them for the addition they are making to my total person. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Powerless over Others Stop making excuses for other people. Stop making excuses for ourselves. While it is our goal to develop compassion and achieve forgiveness, acceptance, and love, it is also our goal to accept reality and hold people accountable for their behavior. We can also hold ourselves accountable for our own behavior and, at the same time, have compassion and understanding for ourselves. When we claim powerlessness, we are not claiming irresponsibility. We have no power to control others, what they do, what they did, or what they might do. We're stating that we are willing to end an ineffective life based on willpower and control. And we're beginning a spiritual, mental, and emotional journey in which we take responsibility for ourselves. We are not victims. We are not helpless. Accepting powerlessness when that is appropriate enables us to begin owning our true power to take care of ourselves. Today, I will avoid making excuses for my own or someone else's behavior. I will let consequences and responsibility fall where they belong. Today I'm getting all the guidance I need to take care of myself. I need not keep pushing beyond my limitations. I am learning to listen to my body and my mind, and rest when I get the message. --Ruth Fishel ****************************** Journey To The Heart Let Your Creativity Blossom Allow your creativity to blossom. For too long you have held back. For too long you have limited your natural creative leanings and talents. Maybe someone told you you couldn’t create or being creative wasn’t worthwhile. Maybe you started telling yourself that. You are creative. You have a creative self within that wants to play, wants to be let loose, wants to create. Set that part of you free! Let yourself play– with life, with work, with projects. Make a list of all the negative things you believe about your creative abilities– what you think, what you’ve been told, and what you tell yourself. Then burn it. Now make a new list of all the things that are true, or that you believe could be true, or that you want to be true. Let go of all the blocks. Write down that you are creative, that you can create, and that you’re connected to the creative force of the universe. When you find your connection to creativity, the entire universe will come alive for you. It will help you, guide you, inspire you. You will find yourself imagining something, then being lead right down a path that will help you create it. When you don’t know what to do next, you can listen to your heart and let God and the universe guide you. Creativity is the inherent nature of the world, the universe. The universe creates. And the universe needs your help in creating. Creating brings you into harmony with the universe, God, yourself, and the rhythm of life. ***** more language of letting go Appreciate who you are Scott was sixty-nine when he took up skydiving for the second time in his life. He had jumped in the British military in World War 11. When the opportunity arose to make a demonstration jump into one of the old military bases, he came to California to learn how to skydive. His body was old and stiff. But his heart was full of youth and fun. As he worked his way slowly through the levels, repeating many of the jumps until he got the skills dialed in, each jump took a little more out of his body. Despite his resolve, the training was more than he could handle and he had to stop short of his goal. As he left, he vowed to begin strength-training exercises and to return later to complete his training. "I'll be there, it'll just take longer than I thought," he said. At the same time Scott started training, Tim started his skydiving training,too. Tim had never jumped before, though he had been skiing, mountain biking, and sailing. Tim was terrified. He was fearful that he would fail, afraid that he wouldn't respond well in an emergency, afraid that he would forget how to land, afraid to get out of a plane nearly two miles above the earth. Scott talked to Tim. Scott laughed at him and laughed with him. And Tim kept getting back on the plane and passing his levels. He graduated. "I would have quit after the first jump," Tim said. "But if Scott can do it, so can I. I'm glad he was here. He gave me the faith to do something I believed was impossible." We are each to walk our own path regardless of the fears and desires of those around us. Maybe you are like Scott, trying something new, something that may be a little beyond you. Great! Maybe you'll succeed; maybe you'll fail. Only you can decide what you'll do with the results. Scott could have taken his setbacks bitterly and dragged Tim down with him. Instead he built Tim up, enabling him to achieve something that he might not have done on his own. Maybe you're like Tim, wanting to grow, but afraid of what you might lose in the trying. Follow your heart, and if you can find a mentor to help you on your way, thank that person for lifting you up. Keep walking the path. Some paths may lead to fame and recognition, others to quiet support of our fellow travelers. Walk your own path. Learn your own lessons. God, thank you for my life. ***** One Day at a Time Stepping Stones by Madisyn Taylor Taking one step at a time makes life much easier to navigate rather than always looking at the big picture. The years of our life do not arrive all at once; they greet us day by day. With the descent of each setting sun, we are able to rest our heads and let the world take care of itself for a while. We may rest assured throughout the night, knowing that the dawn will bring with it a chance to meet our lives anew, donning fresh perspectives and dream-inspired hopes. The hours that follow, before we return to sleep once more, are for us to decide how we want to live and learn, laugh and grow. Our lives are sweeter and more manageable because we must experience them this way: one day at a time. Imagine the future stretching out before you and try to notice if you feel any tension or overwhelm at the prospect of the journey still to come. Perhaps you have recently made a lifestyle change, like beginning a new diet or quitting smoking, and the idea of continuing this healthy new behavior for years seems daunting. Maybe you have started a new job or are newly married and can feel an undercurrent of anxiety about your ability to succeed. If you can shift your focus from what may happen years down the line and return it to the day that is before you right now, you may find a measure of calm and renewed confidence in your capabilities. You may also discover an inner faith that the future will take care of itself. The way we show up for our lives today and tomorrow has an enormous affect on who we will be and what we will be experiencing years from now. If we can remain fully engaged in the day at hand, enjoying all it has to offer and putting our energy into making the most of it, we will find that we are perfectly ready and capable to handle any future when it arrives. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day “If you’re not alright the way you are,” it’s been said, “it takes a lot of effort to get better. Realize you’re alright the way you are, and you’ll get better naturally.” Sometimes we find ourselves in a siuation so difficult that it seems insoluble. The more we think about it, the more we get on our own backs for our imagined inadequacy to overcome the situation — and we sink into depression. That’s the moment to recall a single phrase, slogan, or bit of philosophy, saying it over and over until it replaces thoughts of the tormenting problem — which , in the final analysis will take care of itself. Do I sometimes forget that the thorns have roses? Today I Pray May I see that God gives us patterns so that we can take comfort in opposites — day follows night; silence follows din; s love follows loneliness; release follows suffering. If I am ineffectual, may I realize it and try to do something constructive. If I am insensitive, may my friends confront me into greater sensitivity. Today I Will Remember Clouds have linings. Problems have endings. ************************************************** **************** Food For Thought I Am a Compulsive Overeater The one fact, which I need to remember constantly, is that I am a compulsive overeater. If I forget it, I will eventually break my abstinence. There is no way that I can eat “normally,” like most other people. I either eat according to my OA plan or I eat very abnormally, according to my compulsion. Because I am a compulsive overeater, I do not take tastes of this or that, and I do not have snacks. I have found from sad experience that this kind of uncontrolled eating is impossible for me to handle. I know that I need to plan every day the three measured meals, which I will eat. Because of the new life that OA has given to me, I am grateful for my disease. Without it, I would not have found the measure of peace and serenity, which comes to me every day as I work the program. May I remember I am a compulsive overeater. ***************************************** One Day At A Time HONESTY “If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.” Marcus Aurelius Honesty of all sorts is important, but honesty with ourselves is foundational. With everything that was in me, I resisted the notion that I had an eating disorder. Everybody else had a problem with my eating, not me. But when I finally faced the painful truth, I began the journey to freedom, from not merely overeating, but from all the underlying bondage that had caused me to stuff my feelings. The same thing happened when I acknowledged that my relationship with God was in need of correction. Sure, my whole life was a mess, but that had to be God’s fault, right? I had to own up to the fact that God did not fail me; I had failed myself. I had to be open and receptive to His way. What power comes from honesty! I used to be afraid of truth, but truth is becoming my friend. One day at a time... Today I will not let myself hide from truth simply to be comfortable; I will use truth as a tool for freedom. ~ Deborah H. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed. - Pg. 101 - Working With Others Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Whether serious and conservative or eager and flighty, newcomers often feel no necessity for embracing recovery. REMEMBER, millions have gone before you. You don't have to embrace the 12 steps but embrace something that works for recovery. I embrace a program of recovery, not my self will, but a program I trust with clean and people that I can see! Remembering to Take Care of Myself Today is a day to be reborn into the life I already have. To see and value it differently. To cherish it knowing that it is mine only for a while. I am God's gift to me. God has lovingly placed my life into my own hands to care for. God means for me to cherish and care for my own life in each and every way. I am responsible for what I do with me and what I do with my life. In caring for me, I am loving God's world. I am showing love and respect for what God has put into my hands until I rest once again in God's arms for all of eternity. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Even though you are a unique human being, you are not so unique that your recovery is any different then thousands before you. If you think we don't understand something about your situation, then your disease is playing tricks on you. I am unique, just like everyone else. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book When you work with a drunk, the drunk you're working with is you. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am getting all the guidance I need to take care of myself. I need not keep pushing beyond my limitations. I am learning to listen to my body and my mind, and rest when I get the message. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I want my way. That's 90% of my Fifth Step. - Doug D.
__________________
![]() "No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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September 8
Daily Reflections "WE ASKED HIS PROTECTION" We asked His protection and care with complete abandon. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59 I could not manage life alone. I had tried that road and failed. My "ultimate sin" dragged me down to the lowest level I have ever reached and, unable even to function, I accepted the fact that I desperately needed help. I stopped fighting and surrendered entirely to God. Only then did I start growing! God forgave me. A Higher Power had to have saved me, because the doctors doubted that I would survive. I have forgiven myself now and I enjoy a freedom I have never before experienced. I've opened my heart and mind to Him. The more I learn, the less I know - a humbling fact - but I sincerely want to keep growing. I enjoy serenity, but only when I entrust my life totally to God. As long as I am honest with myself and ask for His help, I can maintain this rewarding existence. Just for today, I strive to live His will for me - soberly. I thank God that today I can choose not to drink. Today, life is beautiful! ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Another of the mottoes of A.A. is "But for the Grace of God." Once we have fully accepted the program we become humble about our achievement. We do not take too much credit for our sobriety. When we see another suffering alcoholic in the throes of alcoholism, we say to ourselves: "But for the Grace of God, there go I." We do not forget the kind of people we were. We remember those we left behind us. And we are very grateful to the grace of God which has given us another chance. Am I truly grateful for the grace of God? Meditation For The Day A consciousness of God's presence, as One who loves you makes all life different. The consciousness of God's love promotes the opening of your whole being to God. It brings wonderful relief from the cares and worries of our daily lives. Relief brings peace and peace brings contentment. Try to walk in God's love. You will have that peace which passes all understanding and a contentment that no one can take from you. Feel sure of God's unfailing love and care for you and for all His children. There is freedom and serenity in those who walk in God's love, held safe in His loving care. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may walk in God's love, I pray that, as I go, I may feel the caring of God's power in my steps and the joy of His love in my heart. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Prayer Under Pressure, p.250 Whenever I find myself under acute tensions, I lengthen my daily walks and slowly repeat our Serenity Prayer in rhythm to my steps and breathing. If I feel that my pain has in part been occasioned by others, I try to repeat, "God grant me the serenity to love their best, and never fear their worst." This benign healing process of repetition, sometimes necessary to persist with for days, has seldom failed to restore me to at least a workable emotional balance and perspective. Grapevine, March 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Admitting a Wrong Inventory. It is all but impossible for some people to make the simple admission, I was wrong. We might have a problem with such admissions because we tend to believe that they place us at a disadvantage. The reality is that the sooner we can admit a wrong, the more rapidly it can be corrected and put behind us. The refusal to admit a wrong, the more rapidly it can be corrected and put behind us. The refusal to admit a wrong means making more of the same mistakes, thus bringing further harm to ourselves and others. We may have trouble admitting a wrong because we once faced excessive punishments when we were found wrong. We can find our true course by realizing that admission of our wrongs is the route to well-being and improvement. I'll continue to take every opportunity to learn when I might be wrong, thus helping to avoid such mistakes in the future. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple I have an intense desire to return to the womb---Anybody’s ! ---Woody Allen Some days the world just doesn’t seem safe. Maybe a friend died and you are hurting. Maybe you argued with a loved one. You just want somebody to take care of you. You want to feel safe and warm. Turn to the spiritual part of the program. Let your Higher Power hold you with warm, loving care. Pray. Pray to feel the programs will find you. Why? Because you’ve opened your heart to recovery. To be loved, you have to open up to love. Prayer for the Day: I pray for an open heart. I pray that love of the program will find me and comfort me. Higher Power, I need Your love as a child needs the love of parents. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll list three times the world has felt unsafe. I’ll meditate on how things would have been different if I had turned to my Higher Power for comfort. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning It's astonishing in this world how things don't turn out at all the way you expect them to! --Agatha Christie Probably every day of our lives, a plan goes awry. Often we have counted heavily on a particular outcome. We generally assume we have all things under control and know exactly what's best for us, and everyone else as well. But such is not the case. There is a bigger picture than the one we see. The outcome of that picture is out of our hands. Our vision is limited, and again divinely so. However, we are able to see all that we need to see, today. And more important, if we can trust our inner guidance regarding the events of today, we'll begin to see how each day fills in a shade more of the bigger picture of our lives. In retrospect we can see how all events have contributed, in important ways, to the women we are becoming. Where today's events are leading we can't know, for certain, but we can trust the divine plan. I will anticipate with faith what lies ahead today. All experiences carry me forward to fulfill my goal in life. I will be alert for the nudge. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Usually the family should not try to tell your story. When possible, avoid meeting a man through his family. Approach through a doctor or an institution is a better bet. If your man needs hospitalization, he should have it, but not forcibly unless he is violent. Let the doctor, if he will, tell him he has something in the way of a solution. p. 91 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories MY BOTTLE, MY RESENTMENTS, AND ME - From childhood trauma to skid row drunk, this hobo finally found a Higher Power, bringing sobriety and a long-lost family. At school the gossip was vicious. At home there was chaos and no one would tell me what was happening, so I withdrew and began to block out the reality around me. If I could pretend it didn't exist, it might go away. I became extremely lonely and defiant. The confusion, pain, and grief had begun to subside when an article appeared in a murder mystery magazine about my family's misfortune. The children at school started the gossip and scrutiny all over again. I retreated further and became angrier and more withdrawn. It was easier that way, because people would leave me alone if I acted disturb even before they tried to inquire. p. 438 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Foreword With the publication of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" in 1939, the pioneering period ended and a prodigious chain reaction set in as the recovered alcoholics carried their message to still others. In the next years alcoholics flocked to A.A. by tens of thousands, largely as the result of excellent and continuous publicity freely given by magazines and newspapers throughout the world. Clergymen and doctors alike rallied to the new movement, giving it unstinted support and endorsement. p. 17 ************************************************** ********* The world has a way of giving what is demanded of it. If you are frightened and look for failure and poverty, you will get them, no matter how hard you may try to succeed. Lack of faith in yourself, in what life will do for you, cuts you off from the good things of the world. Expect victory and you make victory. --Preston Bradley Today is a day of opportunities. I am open and ready to find them all, knowing that I am receiving all the guidance I need to be forward and be happy. --Ruth Fishel "By giving unconditional love ... we become more loving, and by sharing spiritual growth we become more spiritual." --Just For Today, p. 99 Today, I will remind myself as often as necessary that I am not a victim, and I do not need to be victimized by whatever comes my way. I will work hard to remove myself as a victim, whether that means setting and enforcing a boundary, walking away, dealing with my feelings, or giving myself what I need. God, help me let go of my need to feel victimized. --Melody Beattie "Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye." --H. Jackson Brown Jr. None of us has the power to make someone else love us. But we all have the power to give away love, to love other people. And if we do so, we change the kind of person we are, and we change the kind of world we live in. --Rabbi Harold Kushner, in Handbook for the Heart Wisdom cannot be taught. It can only be learned. --Source Unknown You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. --Wayne Dyer *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation LIES "A liar needs a good memory." -- Quintilian I lied to impress. I lied to hide my guilt and shame. I lied to cover my mistakes. I lied to bridge the silence. I lied to fantasize. I lied to hurt and destroy. I lied to hide the real me. Then I lied to cover the lies. Then I lied to cover the lies I told to cover the original lies! So it went on. Endless. Exhausting. Meaningless. A part of me always loathed the lies I told. Then I grew to hate myself. Today, because I understand spirituality to be based on truth, I try not to tell lies. When I do lie, I make an effort to correct myself and apologize. Today lying is painful for me. Today I try to use my mind, imagination and memory for better things. O God, who gave mankind the miracle of language and communication, let me not abuse Your gift with destructive deceit. ************************************************** ********* "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 Unless the LORD had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. Psalm 94:17-19 But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. Phillipians 3:20-21 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Those that meet you will most likely not forget you, but how you are remembered is your choice. Lord, may I live with kindness, mercy, and love in my heart. Our body is the temple of God and our soul is His image. It is the devil's work to make us forget that and feel useless, incapable and worthless. Lord, I will not deny Your existence in me. I am strong and capable because You live and work through me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Rebellion "We need not lose faith when we become rebellious." Basic Text p.34 Many of us have lived our entire lives in revolt. Our initial response to any type of direction is often negative. Automatic rejection of authority seems to be a troubling character defect for many addicts. A thorough self-examination can show us how we react to the world around us. We can ask ourselves if our rebellion against people, places, and institutions is justified. If we keep writing long enough, we can usually get past what others did and uncover our own part in our affairs. We find that what others did to us was not as important as how we responded to the situations we found ourselves in. Regular inventory allows us to examine the patterns in our reactions to life and see if we are prone to chronic rebelliousness. Sometimes we will find that, while we may usually go along with what is suggested to us rather than risk rejection, we secretly harbor resentments against authority. If left to themselves, these resentments can lead us away from our program of recovery. The inventory process allows us to uncover, evaluate, and alter our rebellious patterns. We can't change the world by taking an inventory, but we can change the way we react to it. Just for today: I want freedom from the turmoil of rebelliousness. Before I act, I will inventory myself and think about my true values. pg. 262 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. One must lose one's life in order to find it. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh We are often so busy trying to control the outcome of the happenings in our daily lives, so intent on projecting our tomorrows that we let life slip by. Life is today. This is all we have for sure--the moments in our lives we cannot hold. Sometimes it feels as if those moments are beyond time and place, gifts from God to receive and give up at the same time. Like a dragonfly that lights on our hand and will either be crushed or will fly away if we try to close our fingers over it. Life is a series of things to let go of--our friends and loved ones, our children as they grow, our dreams, or our youth. Only we ourselves, our inner selves, are a constant to be found and learned about every day, in the present moment. How well can I enjoy each moment today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. It's hard for me to keep my emotions inside. I want to express them now. That's what a team is all about. --Earvin "Magic" Johnson We become part of a team in this program. That's why all the Steps are written with the word we rather than I. We cannot fully surrender to renewal simply by reading about it, hearing about it, or thinking about it. We become participants, members, and peers. We go to meetings and express the details of our lives, and we learn from the stories of others. In our relationships we learn to let our emotions out. When we say, "He's hard to get to know," we are talking about someone who doesn't show feelings. Team members express their feelings to build a bond between themselves and gain a familiarity with each other. A man may say, "I'm the sort of guy who doesn't do well in groups," or "I'm not the type to express my feelings." But for the sake of recovery, we must endure the awkwardness of learning new things. On this recovery team it is all right to come just the way we are, awkwardness and all. Today, I will not hold back my emotions. I will let people know me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. It's astonishing in this world how things don't turn out at all the way you expect them to! --Agatha Christie Probably every day of our lives, a plan goes awry. Often we have counted heavily on a particular outcome. We generally assume we have all things under control and know exactly what's best for us, and everyone else as well. But such is not the case. There is a bigger picture than the one we see. The outcome of that picture is out of our hands. Our vision is limited, and again divinely so. However, we are able to see all that we need to see, today. And more important, if we can trust our inner guidance regarding the events of today, we'll begin to see how each day fills in a shade more of the bigger picture of our lives. In retrospect we can see how all events have contributed, in important ways, to the women we are becoming. Where today's events are leading we can't know, for certain, but we can trust the divine plan. I will anticipate with faith what lies ahead today. All experiences carry me forward to fulfill my goal in life. I will be alert for the nudge. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Stopping Our Pain Some of my feelings have been stored so long they have freezer burn. --Beyond Codependency There are many sources of pain in our life. Those of us recovering from adult children and codependency issues frequently have a cesspool of unresolved pain from the past. We have feelings, sometimes from early childhood to the present, that either hurt too much to feel or that we had no support and permission to deal with. There are other inevitable sources of pain in our life too. There is the sadness and grief that comes when we experience change, even good change, as we let go of one part of our life, and begin our journey into the new. There is pain in recovery, as we begin allowing ourselves to feel while dropping our protective shield of denial. There is the pain that leads and guides us into better choices for our future. We have many choices about how to stop this pain. We may have experimented with different options. Compulsive and addictive behaviors stop pain - temporarily. We may have used alcohol, other drugs, relationships, or sex to stop our pain. We may talk compulsively or compulsively focus on other people and their needs as a way to avoid or stop our pain. We may use religion to avoid our feelings. We may resort to denial of how we are feeling to stop our pain. We may stay so busy that we don't have time to feel. We may use money, exercise, or food to stop our pain. We have many choices. To survive, we may have used some of these options, only to find that these were Band Aids - temporary pain relievers that did not solve the problem. They did not really stop our pain; they postponed it. In recovery, there is a better choice about how we may stop pain. We can face it and feel it. When we are ready, with our Higher Power's help, we can summon the courage to feel the pain, let it go, and let the pain move forward - into a new decision, a better life. We can stop the behaviors we are doing that cause pain, if that's appropriate. We can make a decision to remove ourselves from situations that cause repeated, similar pain. We can learn the lesson our pain is trying to teach us. If we are being pelted by pain, there is a lesson. Trust that idea. Something is being worked out in us. The answer will not come from addictive or other compulsive behaviors; we will receive the answer when we feel our feelings. It takes courage to be willing to stand still and feel what we must feel. Sometimes, we have what seems like endless layers of pain inside us. Pain hurts. Grief hurts. Sadness hurts. It does not feel good. But neither does denying what is already there; neither does living a lifetime with old and new pockets of pain packed, stored, and stacked within. It will only hurts for a while, no longer than necessary, to heal us. We can trust that if we must feel pain, it is part of healing, and it is good. We can become willing to surrender to and accept the inevitable painful feelings that are a good part of recovery. Go with the flow, even when the flow takes us through uncomfortable feelings. Release, freedom, healing, and good feelings are on the other side. Today, I am open and willing to feel what I need to feel. I am willing to stop my compulsive behaviors. I am willing to let go of my denial. I am willing to feel what I need to feel to be healed, healthy, and whole. I am exactly where I'm supposed to be today. Everything about this day, this place, this moment is perfect. Everything about me is perfect in this moment. --Ruth Fishel ****************************** Journey To The Heart Get Out from Under the Gun How often in life, in the busy world around us, we begin to feel as though we’re “under the gun.” Daily pressures can mount until our body feels as though someone is actually pointing a gun at us saying. Hurry. Finish. Do this or else. That feeling is not conducive to joy, creativity, or doing our best. That attitude creates stress, sometimes unbearable stress. Some of us have lived under the gun so long we’re not even aware of it. But our bodies are. We feel tense, stressed, frightened, on edge. Many of us have felt that way so long we’ve gotten used to it. That’s just how it is, we say with resignation. But that’s not how it needs to be. Gently take the gun away from whoever is pointing it at you. Lay it on the table. Tell that person the task will get done, the situation will come about much better, much more creatively, much more timely without the gun. Most importantly, tell yourself that,too. Acknowledge commitments. Acknowledge the necessity of timely accomplishments of tasks. Then acknowledge the way and wisdom of the heart with joy. It will see you through to get everything done, and you won’t have to be under the gun. ***** more language of letting go Be a team player You may have heard this saying: "Unless you're the lead dog, the view never changes." Not everyone is the lead dog. Not everyone is the CEO or leading man. Better to be a working actor than an out-of-work star. At least you're in the play. Every person who has accomplished anything of value in this world and is honest, recognizes that he or she hasn't done it alone. They're part of a team. Even Christ had a group of Apostles. If you're in a supporting role, accept it. Not everyone is a leader every time. By being part of the cast, you can make the entire production stronger. You can do your part to make it work. And you'll learn the humility and team spirit that will be so important if you do get that lead. Take a look at your life. Are you living as fully as you can where you are right now? Or are you waiting until someone recognizes your true talent to really give it your all? If you're in a supporting rather than a starring role, maybe it's because the cast needs the strength and talents that you can provide. Maybe the team needs a blocker. Life is not so much about the greatness of the role we're given as it is the heart with which we play it. It's great to strive for the lead-dog position, but give yourself permission to enjoy and contribute from the level that you're at right now. God, help me to accept the role that I have been given and to play it with dignity and to the best of my ability. ***** A Softer Touch Apply Gentleness to Everything Throughout life we must cope with blockages that impede our forward momentum. Whether these obstacles are of a personal, professional, or societal nature, our first instinct may be to push against the obstruction. But the simplest way to alleviate resistance is to approach it gently, with a soft manner and kind intentions. Struggle and strife can find no foothold when confronted with mildness because conflict can only exist when fed by two opposing forces. So many areas of our lives can benefit from the application of gentleness. The beauty of gentleness lies in its multifaceted nature. It is part love, part compassion, part patience, part understanding, and part respect for others. When we move through life gently as a matter of course, we naturally attract these wonderful elements into our lives. This does not mean that gentle people are by nature passive or meek. Rather, their copious inner power is manifested in their gentleness and their choice to move with the flow of the universe instead of against it. You can make use of gentleness in your own life by applying it in situations where you feel challenged by your circumstances or by people in your environment. As you move forward gently, the energy pervading your life will likely shift and, consequently, the blockages before you will vanish. Cooperation progresses smoothly when approached gently because all parties involved feel confident that their needs will be met. And quarrels are easily quelled with gentleness because the dualistic concepts of losing and winning are made moot by our willingness to exercise infinite patience with those whose values differ from our own. Gentleness must be practiced, as we are inadvertently encouraged to act competitive in certain phases of our lives. At first, your established habits may make being truly gentle challenging. Yet after a time, if you commit to consciously applying gentleness to all areas of your life, whether by collaborating rather than competing or yielding graciously to the impassable roadblocks in your path in order to seek a new road, you will find that you begin to act gently habitually. Your patterns of thought and behavior become ever more peaceful, and you will discover that you encounter far less impassable resistance on your individual journey. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We are told in The Program that no situation is hopeless. At first, of course, we find this hard to believe. The opposites — hope and despair — are human emotional attitudes. It is we who are hopeless, not the condition of our lives. When we give up hope and become depressed, it’s because we’re unable, for now, to believe in the possibility of a change for the better. Can I accept this: “not everything that is faced can be changed; but nothing can be changed until it is faced…”? Today I Pray May I remember that, because I am human and can make choices, I am never “hopeless.” Only the situation I find myself in may seem hopeless, which may reduce me to a state of helpless depression as I see my choices being blocked off. May I remember, too, that even when I see no solution, I can choose to ask God’s help. Today I Will Remember I can choose not to be hopeless. ****************************** One More Day Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied. – Pearl S. Buck We’ve all made decisions we’ve regretted. Regret doesn’t change things, but we can learn to make better decisions in the future. Often there are moments in our decision-making process — especially in relationships — when we can still change our minds. At those times, we can reconsider what we want to say or do. is it important enough to jeopardize a friendship? Sometimes it is, and that can’t be helped. But usually we discover we do want to preserve the relationship. We owe it to ourselves and our friends to look again, to think again, about what is being discussed or argued or decided. Sometimes, winning or being right isn’t as important as the relationship. I will take time to decide what is important and what isn’t. ************************************************** ***************** Food For Thought Amends to Ourselves By our compulsive overeating, we ourselves have usually been hurt more than anyone else. Because we could not trust ourselves, we had little self-respect or self-confidence. In many cases, we actually hated ourselves for what we thought was weakness and now know to be a disease. By ourselves, we cannot control the illness, but through OA and our Higher Power, we are able to recover. With recovery comes a new attitude toward self. We see that we find happiness by abstaining from compulsive overeating and seeking every day to do God’s will. New power and order enter into our daily activities, and we begin to approve of ourselves. The best way that we can make amends to ourselves for self-hate and failure to develop our abilities is by maintaining our abstinence each day. We then gain the confidence to say no to those things which are not in our best interest. Instead of destroying ourselves with too much food and the wrong kind of activities, we are building a new life fed with the nourishment from our Higher Power. Thank You for new opportunities to grow. ***************************************** One Day At A Time DREAMS “You’ve got to have a dream in order to make a dream come true.” Oscar Hammerstein II Since first hearing this saying many years ago, I have come to believe in it. I have always had the dream of being happy, healthy, helpful and whole, but it wasn’t until I found this program (or it found me) that I am learning I can have all of these things. Through the program I am being shown a way to achieve them. When I first joined the program, I just wanted to lose weight. But as I continue to understand and learn about the program, my dream is slowly coming true. It’s a slow path for me right now, but as long as I keep the dream alive in my mind, heart and soul, I know I'll be able to accomplish it one day at a time! One day at a time... I ask my Higher Power to keep me on the right path toward my dream of being happy, healthy, helpful and whole. And right now, in this moment, I am grateful for my dream and for the opportunity to fulfill it. ~ Lorraine ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it - this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish. - Pg. 34 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We can't always choose where or what we are in life, but we can choose how to view it. Adversity can be seen as an opportunity to work our spiritual program of life. And always when one door is closed to us, another one opens. Give me the courage to face every adversity with the spiritual tools I am given in this program. Necessary Losses Over the holidays I sometimes feel melancholy for people who are no longer around. Life is full of gains and losses, they are inevitable but I feel their loss more keenly during these days when family and friends gather. I recall what the holidays felt like when they were here. I will say a quiet prayer of appreciation for all that they have been to me and I will ask for the strength to go on without them in my daily life. And I will recognize that remembering them is honoring their spirit and what they meant to me. No one is ever really lost if I hold them in my heart. When I hold them with love, I feel full rather than empty. I feel blessed by their presence in my heart rather than punished by their absence. Or maybe a little of both, but holding them with appreciation lets the memory of them feel alive and nourishing. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Daily meditation for about 20 minutes is recommended for all in recovery, unless of course, you're very busy-then you should meditate for an hour. May I be blessed with a slow recovery. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you want to stay sober, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am exactly where I am supposed to be today. Everything about this day, this place, this moment is perfect. Everything about me is perfect in this moment. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I always had that long line of destruction right there in my face every time I got sober. So I couldn't stand sobriety. - Allen F.
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September 9
Daily Reflections OPENING NEW DOORS They [the Promises] are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84 The Promises talked about in this passage are slowly coming to life for me. What has given me hope is putting Step Nine into action. The Step has allowed me to see and set goals for myself in recovery. Old habits and behaviors die hard. Working Step Nine enables me to close the door on the drunk I was, and to open new avenues for myself as a sober alcoholic. Making direct amends is crucial for me. As I repair relationships and behavior of the past, I am better able to live a sober life! Although I have some years of sobriety, there are times when the "old stuff" from the past needs to be taken care of, and Step Nine always works, when I work it. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When an alcoholic is offered a life of sobriety by following the A.A. program, he will look at the prospect of living without alcohol and he will ask: "Am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some of the righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?" Have I found a more than sufficient substitute for drinking? Meditation For The Day In God's strength you conquer life. Your conquering power is the grace of God. There can be no complete failure with God. Do you want to make the best of life? Then live as near as possible to God, the Master and Giver of all life. Your regard for depending on God's strength will be sure. Sometimes the reward will be renewed power to face life, sometimes wrong thinking overcome, sometimes people brought to a new way of living. Whatever success comes will not be all your own doing, but largely the working out of the grace of God. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may try to rely more fully on the grace of God. I pray that I may live a victorious life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Face the Music, p.251 "Don't be too discouraged about that slip. Practically always, we drunks learn the hard way. "Your idea of moving on to somewhere else may be good, or it may not. Perhaps you have got into an emotional or economic jam that can't be well handled where you are. But maybe you are doing just what all of us have done, at one time or another: Maybe you are running away. Why don't you try to think that through again carefully? "Are you really placing recovery first, or are you making it contingent upon other people, places, or circumstances? You may find it ever so much better to face the music right where you are now, and, with the help of the A.A. program, win through. Before you make a decision, weigh it in these terms." Letter, 1949 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Compliance isn’t acceptance Honesty We are sometimes mystified when people come into the AA program, respond to its message for months or years, and then disappear, seemingly without a trace. Later, we may be shocked to learn that they’re drinking again. While we have no way of knowing the real reason, one possible explanation is that they were practicing compliance without really accepting the program. The danger of compliance is that it may simply be an outward show of working the program while leaving one’s real thoughts and feelings unchanged. At the same time, we often urge people to practice what is really only a form of compliance. We then the, for example, to “bring the body” to meetings in the belief that they heart will follow. This does little good if one’s heart does not follow! The only solution is to continue the difficult but rewarding search for honesty in all things. When we examine ourselves honestly, we will recognize when we are truly accepting and when we are merely complying. I’ll remember today that the real success of AA is not in the number of people who show up at meetings, but in how we truly accept the program. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears---by listening to them. ---Dean Rusk We hate being told what to think. We like to make up our own minds. It helps to talk things out with another person who, listens to us. Someone who care what we think. We can give this respect to others. We can listen their point of view. We can try to understand them and care about what they think. When we do this, others start to care what we think too. We share ideas. The ideas get a little more clear. They change a little. We get a little closer to agreement. We both feel good. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me know when to listen and when to talk today. Work for me and though me. Thanks. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll look for chances to listen to others when I really want to talk. I’ll say, “Tell me more about that.” And I’ll listen. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I do not want to die . . . until I have faithfully made the most of my talent and cultivated the seed that was placed in me until the last small twig has grown. --Kathe Kollwitz There's so much to do before we rest . . . so much to do. We each are gifted with talents, similar in some respects to others' talents, but unique in how we'll be able to use them. Do we realize our talents? We need only to dare to dream, and there they'll be. It's so easy to fall into the trap of self-pity, thinking we have no purpose, fearing we'll take life nowhere, dreading others' expectations of us. But we can turn our thinking around at any moment. The choice is ours. We can simply decide to discover our talents, and nurture them and enrich the lives of others. The benefits will be many. So will the joys. We have a very important part to play, today, in the lives we touch. We can expect adventure, and we'll find it. We can look for our purpose; it's at hand. We can remember, we aren't alone. We are in partnership every moment. Our talents are God-given, and guidance for their full use is part of the gift. I will have a dream today. In my dream is my direction. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS When your man is better, the doctor might suggest a visit from you. Though you have talked with the family, leave them out of the first discussion. Under these conditions your prospect will see he is under not pressure. He will feel he can deal with you without being nagged by his family. Call on him while he is still jittery. He may be more receptive when depressed. p. 91 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories MY BOTTLE, MY RESENTMENTS, AND ME - From childhood trauma to skid row drunk, this hobo finally found a Higher Power, bringing sobriety and a long-lost family. Because my father was unable to care for all nine of us, the family had to be split up. About a year later he remarried, and my oldest brother offered to take me in. He and his new wife tried to help me, but I was just so defensive there was little they or anyone else could do. Finally, I took a job after school sorting soda bottles in a grocery store, where I found I could forget if I worked hard enough. In addition, it was a good place to steal beer and be a big guy with the other kids in school. That's the way my drinking began, as a way to make the pain go away. p. 438 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Foreword This starting expansion brought with it very severe growing pains. Proof that alcoholics could recover had been made. But it was by no means sure that such great numbers of yet erratic people could live and work together with harmony and good effect. pp. 17-18 ************************************************** ********* Today, help me, God, to let go of my resistance to change. Help me to be open to the process. Help me believe that the place I'll be dropped off will be better than the place where I was picked up. Help me surrender, trust, and accept, even if I don't understand. --Melody Beattie We must be the change we wish to see in the world. --Mahatma Gandhi Today I will spend some time putting my own needs aside to help someone else. It is so good to know that I can be filled with such good feelings and I get so much when I give of myself. --Ruth Fishel God loves all of us, whether we walk away pain-free or not. Keep taking care of yourself, no matter what. God, transform my pain into compassion for others and myself. --Melody Beattie Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up. --Jesse Jackson My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment. --Oprah Winfrey "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." --Kahlil Gibran, "The Prophet" Don't wait for your ship to come in, swim out to meet it... --unknown The task before you is never greater than the power behind you... --unknown Always, He will watch over us and comfort us. --Ernest Holmes *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation RELIGION "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind." -- Albert Einstein In the field of addiction we need to work together and listen to the professionalism we all bring: the answer will be in "the many". So often we divide ourselves up into "ghettos" of learning and miss what "the others" are saying -- and the disease wins! This is reminiscent of the old days in the church when science was seen as the enemy, the world was flat and the earth was the center of the universe. Pride and ego kept people sick, isolated and afraid -- and thousands suffered and died. However, people began to listen to each other and the world benefited from the shared wisdom. As addictionologists and recovering people we need to listen to each other. Help me to see You in the honest experience of every man. ************************************************** ********* Help me, O LORD my God; save me in accordance with your love. Let them know that it is your hand, that you, O LORD, have done it. Psalm 109:26-27 With my mouth I will greatly extol the LORD; in the great throng I will praise him. For he stands at the right hand of the needy one, to save his life from those who condemn him. Psalm 109:30-31 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. James 1:2-3 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration If a part of your past continues to haunt you and rob you of your joy, forgive. Lord, I can not undo the past, but with Your help, I can let go by forgiving myself and everyone else that has hurt me. Do not let yourself be judged by others or ruled by approval or disapproval. Lord, may I always trust in myself and You and live each day accordingly. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Feet Of Clay "One of the biggest stumbling blocks to recovery seems to be placing unrealistic expectations on... others." Basic Text p.78 Many of us come into Narcotics Anonymous feeling pretty poorly about ourselves. By comparison, the recovering addicts we meet at meetings may seem almost superhumanly serene. These wise, loving people have many months, even years of living in accordance with spiritual principles, giving of themselves to others without expecting anything back. We trust them, allowing them to love us until we can love ourselves. We expect them to make everything alright again. Then the glow of early recovery begins to fade, and we start to see the human side of our NA friends and sponsor. Perhaps a fellow member of our home group stands us up for a coffee date, or we see two old-timers bickering at a committee meeting, or we realize our sponsor has a defect of character or two. We're crushed, disillusioned-these recovering addicts aren't perfect after all! How can we possibly trust them anymore? Somewhere between "the heroes of recovery" and "the lousy NA bums" lies the truth: Our fellow addicts are neither completely bad nor completely good. After all, if they were perfect, they wouldn't need this program. Our friends and sponsor are ordinary recovering addicts, just like we are. We can relate to their ordinary recovery experience and use it in our own program. Just for today: My friends and my sponsor are human, just like me-and I trust their experience all the more for that. pg. 263 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. A terrace nine stories high begins with a pile of earth. --Lao-tzu Imagine yourself with a pile of dirt in front of you and building plans for a one-story structure. It would be easy to think, "Oh, this is impossible--it will never get done." But the architect hires people to help. A foundation is built, and then the frame. From there, step-by-step, the rest is filled in. We have all watched a building take shape and become a finished product. Building plans are like the goals we all have. We want to be a better person or friend, a better artist or athlete. Reaching a goal is like putting up a building. Once we have a goal, we need a strong foundation to support us. All of us need the help of others to reach our goals. What small step can I take toward a goal today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was. --R. L. Evans Feelings of discouragement are to be expected as part of life. We will have our times of greater energy and hope and our times of feeling depleted and lost. As we mature we learn to see many peaks and valleys across the landscape. Giving ourselves over to feelings of discouragement is self-indulgent and saps our strength. We cannot see into the future. The dailiness of our lives isn't always dramatic and doesn't usually offer great changes. But we are part of an unfolding process. Looking back over just a week or a month, we can recall troubled times that now seem insignificant. We see other' people and their progress, and we know they too grew just one day at a time and couldn't see what the future would bring them. So we continue - knowing that our process is hopeful - even though we cannot foresee the details of our future. I have the strength to live through the peaks and valleys and to stay faithful to my recovery. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I do not want to die . . . until I have faithfully made the most of my talent and cultivated the seed that was placed in me until the last small twig has grown. --Kathe Kollwitz There's so much to do before we rest . . . so much to do. We each are gifted with talents, similar in some respects to others' talents, but unique in how we'll be able to use them. Do we realize our talents? We need only to dare to dream, and there they'll be. It's so easy to fall into the trap of self-pity, thinking we have no purpose, fearing we'll take life nowhere, dreading others' expectations of us. But we can turn our thinking around at any moment. The choice is ours. We can simply decide to discover our talents, and nurture them and enrich the lives of others. The benefits will be many. So will the joys. We have a very important part to play, today, in the lives we touch. We can expect adventure, and we'll find it. We can look for our purpose; it's at hand. We can remember, we aren't alone. We are in partnership every moment. Our talents are God-given, and guidance for their full use is part of the gift. I will have a dream today. In my dream is my direction. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Perspective Too often, we try to gain a clear perspective before it is time. That will make us crazy. We do not always know why things are happening the way they are. We do not always know how a particular relationship will work out. We do not always understand the source of our feelings, why we've been led down a particular path, what is being worked out in us, what we are learning, why we needed to recycle, why we had to wait, why we needed to go through a time of discipline, or why a door closed. How our present circumstances will work into the larger scheme of events is not always clear to us. That is how it needs to be. Perspective will come in retrospect. We could strain for hours today for the meaning of something that may come in an instant next year. Let it go. We can let go of our need to figure things out, to feel in control. Now is the time to be. To feel. To go through it. To allow things to happen. To learn. To let whatever is being worked out in us take its course. In hindsight, we will know. It will become clear. For today, being is enough. We have been told that all things shall work out for good in our life. We can trust that to happen, even if we cannot see the place today's events will hold in the larger picture. Today, I will let things happen without trying to figure everything out. If clarity is not available to me today, I will trust it to come later, in retrospect. I will put simple trust in the truth that all is well, events are unfolding as they should, and all will work out for good in my life - better than I can imagine. It feels so comfortable when I trust my own truth. It is both powerful and peaceful to know that we are all at choice. Each and everyone of us is being led on a path to peace and love. --Ruth Fishel ****************************** Journey To The Heart Take Time to Be Pleased Take time to be pleased with all the beauty in this world. Do more than drive by and casually notice a particularly beautiful stretch of scenery. Stop the car. Get out. Take it in. See it, smell it, touch it if possible. Absorb and feel the beauty you see. Then thank the universe for giving this moment to you. Take time to be pleased with your creations too- your work, your life, yourself. Look around. Then look again. Take time to see the beauty in your own life. Take time to absorb and be pleased with the beauty you see. Then take this gift to others,too. Take time to notice and really see all that is beautiful in the people you know. Then tell them about what they mean to you, and how beautiful you think they are. Opening up to ourselves and the world means learning to recognize and absorb its beauty. Allow yourself to grow, to define and redefine what true beauty means and feels like to you. You may have deprived yourself of noticing beautiful sights too long. It’s time to take those dark glasses off. Appreciate the beauty around you. Our soul is nurtured and fed by taking pleasure in the beauty in this world. ***** more language of letting go Discover what works for you "Enroll in this weight loss program and you'll lose thirty pounds in five days!" "Come to this free seminar and after spending one hundred dollars on books you'll be a millionaire!" There is no quick fix, no panacea that will work for every person. Success rarely happens overnight or in five days. Even the Twelve Steps are only suggestions. Although proven to work, the details and decisions about how we apply those Steps in our lives are left to each one of us. And few things happen overnight, except the beginning of a new day. Listen to your mentors. Examine what's been tried and true, and has worked and helped countless others along their paths. The Twelve Steps are one of those approaches. But don't be taken in by false claims of overnight success and instant enlightenment along your path. True change takes time and effort, especially when we're changing and tackling big issues. We can often get exactly the help we need at times from a therapist, book, or seminar-- the best things in life really are free and available to each one of us.The Twelve Steps, again, qualify in this area. Discover what works for you. Trust that you'll be guided along your path and receive exactly the help and guidance you need. Then give it time. There really isn't an easier, softer way. God, give me perseverance to tackle my problems. ***** An Incomplete Understanding Feeling Lonely We all have days when we feel lonely, but the idea comes from the false notion that we are separate from each other. We all have days when we feel lonely, but the very idea of loneliness comes from the false notion that we are separate and isolated parts in a world filled with other separate, isolated parts. In truth, we can no more be separate from our world than a fish can be separate from the water in which it swims. When we really begin to look at the boundaries we see as so solid, they prove to be, in fact, quite porous. For example, it is not clear exactly where our skin ends and the air begins when we consider how our skin is affected by changes in the quality of the air. When it is dry, our skin becomes dry, and when it is humid, our skin becomes moist and supple. By the same token, it is difficult sometimes to distinguish the boundary between one person and another, especially when our actions tie us together so inextricably. Every move we make has an effect that touches all the people around us. On an even more subtle level, when we share space with another person, we often pick up on their energy, feeling how they feel and attuning to them, whether we mean to or not. This is what we mean when we say a mood or a feeling is contagious. We cannot help but be part of the realities of the people around us because we take form from the same energetic force, and this force unifies all life. This force is the light that all the great mystics and gurus encourage us to move toward, and it is the light we will dissolve into when we move beyond our individual egos. If loneliness is a temporary condition based on an incomplete understanding of what we are made of, we can think of its presence as a catalyst for exploring our ideas about reality. We can respond by testing the boundaries we believe separate us from the life within and all around us. If we test them, we will discover that they are not so solid after all and that we can never really be alone. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day The longer I’m in The Program and the longer I try to practice its principles in all my affairs, the less frequently I become morose and depressed. Perhaps, too, there’s something to that cynical old saying, “Blessed is he that expect nothing, for he shall not be disappointment.” If such a person is in The Program, he or she shall not be disappointed, but instead will be delighted daily by new and fresh evidence of the love of God and the friendliness of men and women. Does someone, somewhere,need me today? Will I look for that person and try to share what I’ve been given in The Program? Today I Pray May I be utterly grateful for God for lifting my depression. May I know that my depression will always lighten if I do not expect too much. May I know that the warmth of friends can fill the cold hollow of despair. May I give my warmth to someone else. Today I Will Remember To look for someone to share with. ****************************** One More Day God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. – The Serenity Prayer The Serenity Prayer has comforted millions of people who strive to cope with change, disappointments, chemical dependency, and all sorts of other problems. This prayer can comfort us as we deal with the realities of chronic illness. When we’re overcome with pain or disappointed about slow or little progress, this prayer can help us put our lives into focus. It helps us see if we’re wasting time and energy on things we can’t change, such as the chronic conditions we live with, how others feel, and the past. And just as important, this prayer points us toward the things that we can control — our attitude, our willingness to change, and the outcome of this day. I pray for the wisdom to recognize the difference between things I can and cannot change. ************************************************** ******************* Food For Thought Amends to Others The people most affected by our disease were undoubtedly the members of our own family. Then came our closest friends, if we had any when we were overeating. These people were directly affected by our negative moods and by our withdrawal away from them into overeating. They also may have been affected by not getting food which should have been theirs, but which we had eaten. Some of us stole money to buy food that we did not need but had to have. Some of us stole food. Making amends is sometimes embarrassing and often difficult. It involves much pride swallowing. A simple, sincere apology may be all that is necessary. There may be concrete acts, which we can perform. As with making amends to ourselves, the best way we can make up for the hurt we have caused to family and friends is by abstaining from compulsive overeating. As we abstain, we reach out to those around us instead of withdrawing. Our own sanity is the best gift we can give to others. May I have the courage to make amends. ***************************************** One Day At A Time CONNECTION We all have God's phone number but the only number we tend to use is 911. We only call in an emergency instead of calling just for daily connection with God. Mary Manin Morrissey When I first came into the program, my goal was to lose weight. It’s still my goal, but now it’s not the main focus of my program of recovery. I’ve learned that my spiritual and emotional fitness are every bit as important as my physical fitness. In fact, I’m finding that for me the spiritual aspect is the most important. If my relationship to the God of my understanding is in order, then everything else seems to fall into place. If I leave my Higher Power out of my life, then everything falls apart. There’s an old program saying, “If you feel apart from God, then who moved?” Whenever I feel like God is a million miles away, I know it’s because I moved away from Him, not the other way around. When I am feeling separated from God, I see my disease of compulsion start to take over. That’s why it’s very important to me to maintain a conscious contact with my Higher Power. If I let things get too far out of hand and I start to move away from Him, then I need to pray. But my intention is to keep in constant touch with God so that a spiritual emergency isn’t the only reason I check in with Him. One day at a time... I will do all I can on a daily basis to connect with my Higher Power. ~ Jeff ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote 'Once an alcoholic, always and alcoholic.' Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever. - Pg. 33 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Do you have a phone list of clean and sober people in the program? If yes, call one person right now and share a clean and sober morning greeting. If not, take this book and begin a sober list in the back. Collect names and numbers at the meeting you go to today. People say, 'Call me anytime.' Let me know that as long as I am clean and sober, they mean it! Forgiveness Today I recognize forgiveness as the quickest road to freedom and serenity. When I forgive my past, I release myself from the grip that it has on my present. I no longer carry that heavy baggage around with me. It is difficult to live in peace today if I am psychically engaged in yesterday's battles. But I cannot forgive and release what I do not first feel and come to terms with. The type of forgiveness that bypasses this stage only pays lip service to letting go. I will do what I need to do today to process fully the issues in my life that remain unresolved so that I can let them go. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Take a breath and hold it. Take another and hold, hold, hold. You can see that you can't live on the inhale alone. The inhale is the breath of the program bringing you life. The exhale is you working with others. I inhale healing for my soul and exhale hope for others. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Your situation is your situation, not your problem. Time for Joy - Book - Quote It feels so comforting when I trust my own truth. It is both powerful and peaceful to know that we are all at choice. Each and every one of us is being led on a path of peace and love. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Alcoholics Anonymous is an utter simplicity which encases a complete mystery. - Bill W.
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September 10
Daily Reflections RECOVERY BY PROXY? They [the Promises] will always materialize if we work for them. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS p. 84 Sometimes I think: "Making these amends is going too far! No one should have to humble himself like that!" However, it is this very humbling of myself that brings me that much closer to the sunlight of the spirit. A.A. is the only hope I have if I am to continue healing and gain a life of happiness, friendship and harmony. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Here are answers to the question of how a person can live without liquor and be happy: "The things we put in place of drinking are more than substitutes for it. One is the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. In this company, you find release from care, boredom, and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Among other A.A.s you will make lifelong friends. You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties." Does life mean something to me now? Meditation For The Day Do you want the full and complete satisfaction that you find in serving God and all the satisfactions of the world also? It is not easy to serve both God and the world. It is difficult to claim the rewards of both. If you work for God, you will still have great rewards in the world. But you must be prepared to sometimes stand apart from the world. You cannot always turn to the world and expect all the rewards that life has to offer. If you are trying sincerely to serve God, you will have other and greater rewards than the world has to offer. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may not expect too much from the world. I pray that I may also be content with the rewards that come from serving God. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Alone No More, p.252 Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were surrounded by people who loved us. But when our self-will had driven everybody away and our isolation became complete, we commenced to play the big shot in cheap barrooms. Failing even in this, we had to fare forth alone on the street to depend upon the charity of passers-by. We were trying to find emotional security either by dominating or by being dependent upon others. Even when our fortunes had not totally ebbed, we nevertheless found ourselves alone in the world. We still vainly tried to be secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or dependence. For those of us who were like that, A.A. has a very special meaning. In this Fellowship we begin to learn right relations with people who understand us; we don't have to be alone any more. 12 & 12, pp. 116-117 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Watch those feelings Feelings. In AA's early years, there was very little talk about "feelings' or "emotions." The phrase "getting in touch with your feelings" had not been popularized, yet the AA pioneers knew that bitter and resentful feelings were destructive, while warm and optimistic feelings enhanced sobriety. Now we know that feelings are extremely are extremely important for groups as well as individuals. We know that some AA groups can give off feelings that make them more attractive than others. Some groups are considered "cold," while others are "warm." Such differences are rooted in the feelings of each member of the group. How can we be sure that our feelings will make our groups warm and inviting to others? We can "tune" our feelings by looking at our attitudes. If we are truly dedicated to our principles and want to share them with others, the feelings we project will be welcoming. Whatever we really feel will be expressed in our daily affairs and in our group activities. I'll check my attitude today for good feelings as I go about my work and activities. These feelings will, in turn, send out signals that everyone can understand and appreciate. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple If you want a thing done “right,” you have to do it yourself.---Anonymous We addicts can be very picky. We think there’s only one way to do things. It’s our way, But we call it the right way. When we think like this, three things happen. First, we put down other people. Second, we end up doing all the work. Third, everyone feels bad. The other person feels hurt that we don’t respect him or her. And we feel angry because we “had” to do all the work. We need to know that there are many ways to do things. It’s okay when others don’t do things our way. Their way probably works just fine for them. If they want your advice they’ll ask for it. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me accept other people and their ways. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll watch how other people do things. Maybe I’ll learn a better way to do some things. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning It isn't for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity and faith and security. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh Most of us are on a long uphill climb at this moment. It is a climb we are making together, and yet a climb we can't do for each other. I can reach out my hand to you, and you can grasp my hand in return. But my steps are my own, just as you, too, can only take one-step at a time. For brief periods we skip, even run, along the uphill path. The rocks and the occasional boulder momentarily trip us up. We need patience and trust that the summit is still achievable. We can help one another have patience. We can remind one another to trust. We look back at the periods that devastated us so long ago. And now we are here. We have climbed this far. We are stronger, saner, and more secure. Each step makes easier the next step--each step puts us on more solid ground. I may run into some rocks or even a boulder today. I have stepped around them in the past. I will do so again. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS See your man alone, if possible. At first engage in general conversation. After a while, turn the talk to some phase of drinking. Tell him enough about your drinking habits, symptoms, and experiences to encourage him to speak of himself. If he wishes to talk, let him do so. You will thus get a better idea of how you ought to proceed. If he is not communicative, give him a sketch or your drinking career up to the time you quit. But say nothing, for the moment, of how that was accomplished. If he is in a serious mood dwell on the troubles liquor has caused you, being careful not to moralize or lecture. If his mood is light, tell him humorous stories of your escapades. Get him to tell some of his. p. 91 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories MY BOTTLE, MY RESENTMENTS, AND ME - From childhood trauma to skid row drunk, this hobo finally found a Higher Power, bringing sobriety and a long-lost family. After several years of semidelinquent adolescence, I was old enough to join the marines. Leaving behind the origin of my bitterness, I thought my life would be better and the drinking not so bad. However, during boot camp, I recognized that this was not the answer. The discipline, the authority, the tight schedule went against my very nature, but it was a two-year stint, so there had to be a way to function in spite of the anger and now hatred that seethed through me. Every night found me at a bar drinking until they threw me out. That got me through the week; on weekends we went to a club nearby. This place was managed by people who drank as much as or more than I did. I became a constant customer. Arguments and fights were a regular occurrence. p. 438-439 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Foreword Everywhere there arose threatening questions of membership, money, personal relations, public relations, management of groups, clubs, and scores of other perplexities. It was out of this vast welter of explosive experience that A.A.'s Twelve Traditions took form and were first published in 1946 and later confirmed at A.A.'s First International Convention, held at Cleveland in 1950. The Tradition section of this volume portrays in some detail the experience which finally produced the Twelve Traditions and so gave A.A. its present form, substance, and unity. p. 18 ************************************************** ********* Today, I will be open to growing in my understanding of my Higher Power. I will be open to letting go of old, limiting, negative beliefs about God. No matter how I understand God, I will be grateful that God understands me. --Melody Beattie We are enrolled in a full time, informal school called, "Life." Each day of this school, we have the opportunity to learn lessons. We may like the lessons or hate them, but they are part of the curriculum. The greatest lessons we learn are about love and fear, that every action is either an expression of love, or a call for love. And the great blessing is that every lesson repeats itself until we learn it. --Mary Manin Morrissey I have all the time in the world to do God's Will for me today. I trust that my Higher Power is filling me with all the energy that I need for these 24 hours. --Ruth Fishel Those who withhold forgiveness only withhold it from themselves." --Paul Ferrini Happiness is an inside job. --Unknown Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right? --Gerald Jampolsky *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation NEIGHBORS "The good neighbor looks beyond the external accidents and discerns those inner qualities that make all men human and, therefore, brothers." -- Martin Luther King, Jr. As a drunk I said cruel things about other people. My prejudices hid my fears and insecurities. I condemned in others what I saw in myself. I deflected attention from me by the name-calling others: sick manipulations. "Neighbor" was only a word that I could spell and interpret, useful for religious homilies or pretentious innuendoes but not something I really experienced. Today I am able to be the "good neighbor" to many people, known and unknown. My recovery has brought people into my life. Relationships mean something; friends are important; the world is one. Black, Asian, Hispanic -- all add a variety to my life that enable me to get in touch with buried feelings of my "difference". In the stranger I discover something of myself; the foreigner has become both friend and neighbor. God, I never cease to be amazed at the mystery and variety that is "me". ************************************************** ********* But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?" Romans 8:24 "One man pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth." Proverbs 13:7 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration If a person or a situation causes you to feel insecure, you have forgotten who you really are. Lord, You are my Father. I am Your child. How can I ever feel like less. God gives abundantly to those who pass His gifts on to others. Lord, let Your blessings flow in to me and then out from me. I will neither be selfish nor let my gifts stagnate. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today More powerful than words Page 264 "We learn that a simple, loving hug can make all the difference in the world." Basic Text, p.91 Perhaps there have been times in our recovery when we were close to someone who was in great pain. We struggled with the question, "What can I do to make them feel better?" We felt anxious and inadequate to relieve their suffering. We wished we had more experience to share. We didn't know what to say. But sometimes life deals wounds that can't be eased by even the most heartfelt words. Words can never express all we mean when our deepest feelings of compassion are involved. Language is inadequate to reach a wounded soul, as only the touch of a loving Higher Power can heal an injury to the spirit. When those we love are grieving, simply being present is perhaps the most compassionate contribution we can offer. We can rest assured that a loving Higher Power is working hard at healing the spirit; our only responsibility is to be there. Our presence, a loving hug, and a sympathetic ear will surely express the depth of our feelings, and do more to reach the heart of a human being in pain than mere words ever could. Just for Today: I will offer my presence, a hug, and a sympathetic ear to someone I love. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you. --Madeline Bridges Sometimes we feel lazy or bored, and then we don't do our best work. Maybe our writing becomes hard to read, or we miss a porch when delivering newspapers. Perhaps we are daydreaming instead of listening closely to what a friend is trying to tell us. When we are not really paying attention to our activities or the people around us, we'll likely miss out on something important because we do receive in equal measure what we give. And this truth works in every aspect of our lives. When we treat our friends, our families, even people we don't know well with kindness, we'll experience kindness in return. Our own actions and attitudes toward others are what we can expect from others as well. How can I increase the kindness in the world today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. It is not a question of how a husband and wife can be equal and alike. But rather, it is a problem of how a couple can be equal and different. --Pierre Mornell In seeking closeness with loved ones, we have often made the mistake of looking only for similarities. Although common ground helps understanding, we must learn how to get close to others by "borrowing their eyes and ears." We expand our understanding of others by accepting that what we see, hear, think, and feel will not be exactly what anyone else does. We can deepen our relationships by exchanging our experiences with others. We don't have to agree on everything. Simply learning about each other's differences and letting each other know that we hear and understand will create a feeling of intimacy. I will be receptive and appreciate differences in those I love. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. It isn't for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity and faith and security. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh Most of us are on a long uphill climb at this moment. It is a climb we are making together, and yet a climb we can't do for each other. I can reach out my hand to you, and you can grasp my hand in return. But my steps are my own, just as you, too, can only take one-step at a time. For brief periods we skip, even run, along the uphill path. The rocks and the occasional boulder momentarily trip us up. We need patience and trust that the summit is still achievable. We can help one another have patience. We can remind one another to trust. We look back at the periods that devastated us so long ago. And now we are here. We have climbed this far. We are stronger, saner, and more secure. Each step makes easier the next step--each step puts us on more solid ground. I may run into some rocks or even a boulder today. I have stepped around them in the past. I will do so again. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Self-approval Most of us want to be liked. We want other people to think of us as nice, friendly, kind, and loving. Most of us want the approval of others. Since childhood, some of us have been trying to get approval, trying to get people to like us and think highly of us. We may be afraid people will leave us if they disapprove of our actions. We may look for approval from people who have none to give. We may not know that we're lovable now and can learn to approve of ourselves. In order to live happily, to live consistently with the way our Higher Power wants us to live, and to tap into a way of life that is in harmony with the universe, we need to let go of our extreme need for approval. These unmet needs for approval and love from our past give others control over us today. These needs can prevent us from acting in our best interest and being true to ourselves. We can approve of ourselves. In the end, that's the only approval that counts. Today, I will let go of my need for approval and my need to be liked. I will replace them with a need to like and approve of myself. I will enjoy the surprise I find when I do this. The people who count, including myself, will respect me when I am true to myself. Peace is flowing through me everywhere today, pouring all over my mind and my body... releasing all my tensions and anxiety... emptying me of all my negativity and fear.... I am being filled with peace and love and serenity. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart Laugh Often "When I woke up the other morning, the blahs were back," a friend said. "I switched on the television. An old movie, a comedy, was on. At first I thought it was a waste of time to get involved in it. Within half an hour, I was laughing out loud. By the time the movie was over, I felt good." Remember to laugh. No matter what our circumstance, where we are, what's going on, laughter is important. It's essential. Laughter changes our face. It changes our outlook. Some even suggest it changes our biochemistry. Lighten up. Joke a little. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at life. The truth need not always be grim, serious business. Often, the truth we've been so serious about finding can only be found when we laugh. Learn the power of humor. It will take you a long way. And it will help the road you travel be more fun. ***** more language of letting go Be who and where you are One day when I was new to recovery from chemical dependency, I looked around at my living situation, my job, my relationships. Nothing felt right. A chronic sense of being in the wrong place at the right time was overriding everything I did. My life felt like an ongoing series of errors. I had heard talk about a brilliant therapist, one who was particularly effective in getting to core issues. Whatever was going on in my core, I wanted it to be resolved. The problem was that this therapist lived way out in a rural area. I didn't have a car. I'd need to take the bus. He saw people only during the week. I worked nine-to-five, Monday to Friday. And his fees, althought well-deserved, were high for my budget. I saved enough money to pay for a session. Then I made an appointment. I was so excited. The big day arrived. I started my series of bus rides (I had to transfer three times) at 5:00 PM, when I finished work. By 7:30 that evening. I arrived at the estate where this therapist lived and worked. I was exhausted but elated when I finally sat down across from this teddy bear of a man who had helped so many people progress in their lives. In elaborate detail, I began spilling out what was going on in my life. I explained that I was recovering, trying to do the right things, going to my support groups, making my amends to people I had hurt-- but nothing felt right. A chronic sense of uneasiness plagued my life, no matter what I did. He listened to what I said. Then he leaned back in his chair. "Melody," he said calmly, confidently. "Yes?" " You're right where you need to be." Session ended. I gathered my things, walked the two blocks to the bus stop, and rode the several buses back to my small cubicle of an apartment in South Minneapolis. The lesson stayed with me for life. When nothing in our lives feels right, sometimes the answer isn't doing more or searching frantically for the miracle we need. The miracle comes when we accept, believe, and trust that who we are right now is who we need to be. Save yourself the time, the money, and the trip. Be your own guru. God, thank you for where I am today. Help me trust that when I need to be someplace else, you'll naturally move me to that place. ***** A World in Confusion Cultivating Inner Clarity by Madisyn Taylor When the world is in chaos, we can still have our own inner peace and maintain a sense of calm in sea of unrest. People who maintain their sense of calm when things around them are in a state of flux and confusion are always wonderful to be around. We feel calmer just being near them, as if they have activated our own sense of inner peace. From them we learn that we can be calm, even when everything around us is in turmoil, because we know that no matter what happens, this inner sense of calm will help us to function well. Often, times of confusion are the times that enable us to find that part of ourselves that knows how to cope, and how to be a light to others in the storm. If we allow ourselves to be thrown off balance by every piece of disturbing news that comes our way, we may be relying too much on our emotions. On the other hand, our thoughts may also be unreliable at times like these, as they chatter on endlessly about what might happen next. If our feelings and thoughts activate one another in a hectic way, then we become caught up in the confusion that surrounds us. However, if we can locate the stillness at the center of our hearts, we can find composure in almost any situation. In addition, we provide a safe place for our friends and family, who are also prone to taking on the confusion of a world in flux. It helps to remember that we don’t need to completely understand what’s happening right now, nor do we need to be able to predict the future. Most of us just want to find our way to being at peace with whatever happens, and we can find this peace inside. Cultivating our inner clarity with meditation, journaling, and reading words that inspire us, will lead us to that place inside us that’s already there, just waiting. Published with permission from Daily OM ***** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day Years ago, Dr. Alfred Adler prescribed this remedy for depression to a patient: “You can be healed if every day you begin the first thing in the morning to consider how you can bring a real joy to someone else. If you can stick to this for two weeks, you will no longer need therapy.” Adler’s “prescription,” of course, is not much different than the suggestion that we work more intensively The Program’s Twelve Steps to rid ourselves of depression. When I am depressed, do I keep my feelings to myself? Or do I do what friends in The Program have suggested that I do? Today I Pray May I turn myself inside out, air out the depression which has been closeted inside me, replace it with the comfortable feeling that I am cared about by real friends, then pass along that comfort to others caught in the same despair. Today I Will Remember The only real despair is loneliness ************************************************** ******************** Food For Thought Listening As we learn to listen to our Higher Power, we also learn to listen with more awareness to others and ourselves. Being willing to spend time alone, in quiet, is essential to listening. We often fear silence and being alone, and we escape into distractions and busy work. Prayer is not so much telling and asking as it is listening. Prayer in this sense may be practiced continually during the day. By taking Step Three, we are giving up our will and becoming receptive to the will of our Higher Power. We focus less on our egotistical concerns and more on God, as we understand Him. That understanding grows through listening. By listening, we become aware of needs, feelings, and responses within ourselves, which we had previously ignored. Knowing ourselves better, we are more direct and honest with others and more responsive to them. The communication which develops with our Higher Power is on a level deep enough to relate us more meaningfully to everyone around us. I will listen today to Your voice. ***************************************** One Day At A Time FAITH “Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish." The Big Book, page 16 The Big Book states that if we are rigorously honest we will receive release from our addictive compulsions. Working the Steps is what keeps us honest. I didn’t believe this with my whole heart and I lived within my disease. My sponsor told me to just “do it” and see what happened; to “act as if it were true.” What is faith? It is the belief that if we stay close to our Higher Power we will be where we need to be. It is the guarantee that we do not walk through this world or this disease alone. Faith requires commitment to a belief that is greater than what we can see, hear, taste or smell. It’s knowing that there is a God who loves us as we are, and Who will journey through this life with us. And faith requires that we act on that knowledge. That is faith. I did the Steps and the compulsion was removed. A miracle? Absolutely! I had faith that the program would work. Putting the faith to work by diving into the Steps released me from the grips of the disease, one day at a time. The beauty of the program is faith in a Higher Power who will walk us through one hour, one day and one miracle at a time. One day at a time... I will act as if there is a God who loves me. ~ Sara H. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. - Pg. 48 - We Agnostics Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Another part of learning good hourly habits is to take time for physical exercise. This is part of the balance of our new lives. We need activity for the well-being of the body and for self-discipline. We can walk, swim, jog, take up sports, aerobics, dance, or even yoga--just as long as we are consistent and somehow active. Give me the self-discipline to maintain some type of physical activity in my clean and sober life-style. Managing Added Stress Stress affects my body and my mind. When I am under stress, I tend to do the same thing more intensely, but less efficiently. Stress undermines my state of health and makes me feel stuck in non productive, compulsive routines. I lose my spontaneity. Stress chemicals do everything from lock in the storage of fat cells to making my hair and nails brittle. Stress adds nothing to my day and it takes away a lot. Today when I feel stressed I will use my stress busters. I will take a walk or exercise, use my breathing to calm and quiet my nervous system, listen to music, take a warm bath or sit quietly by myself and meditate. I know what works best for me to get back into a relaxed space. Sometimes it's just collapsing in front of my favorite show. But the key is, I will notice when I am stressed and do something to counter it before it spins out of control. Today, I will take responsibility for my own state of calm. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote In the words of Father Joe Martin, 'You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. But you sure as hell can make them thirsty!'. Just living my new, free life is often enough to make others 'thirsty' for recovery. I don't always have to carry the message; I am the message. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Replace 'What ifs' with 'What is'. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Peace is flowing through me everywhere today, pouring all over my mind and my body . . . releasing all my tensions and anxiety . . . emptying me of all my negativity and fear . . . . I am being filled with peace and love and serenity. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I think God's job is to keep the planets from hitting each other, He's busy enough with that. I don't think He takes a lot of time wondering if I'm going to have a parking space at the meeting. - John L.
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September 11
Daily Reflections MAKING AMENDS Above all, we should try to be absolutely sure that we are not delaying because we are afraid. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 87 To have courage, to be unafraid, are gifts of my recovery. They empower me to ask for help and to go forth in making my amends with a sense of dignity and humility. Making amends may require a certain amount of honesty that I feel I lack, yet with the help of God and the wisdom of others, I can reach within and find the strength to act. My amends may be accepted, or they may not, but after they are completed I can walk with a sense of freedom and know that, for today, I am responsible. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Continuing the answers to the question of how a person can live without liquor and be happy, we say: "You will be bound to the other A.A.s with new and wonderful ties, for you and they will escape disaster together and all will commence shoulder to shoulder the common journey to a better and more satisfactory life. You will know what it means to give of yourself that others may survive and rediscover life. You will become happy, respected, and useful once more. Since these things have happened to us, they can happen to you." Have these things happened to me? Meditation For The Day God manifests Himself in human lives as strength to overcome evil and power to resist temptation. The grace of God is that power which enables a human being to change from a useless, hopeless individual to a useful, normal person. God also manifests Himself as love--love for other people, compassion for their problems, and a real willingness to help them. The grace of God also manifests itself as peace of mind and serenity of character. We can have plenty of power, love, and serenity in our lives if we are willing to ask God for these things each day. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may see God's grace in the strength I receive, the love I know, and the peace I have. I pray that I may be grateful for the things I have received through the grace of God. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It "Look Before You Leap"?, p.253 "Wise men and women rightly give a top rating to the virtue of prudence. They know that without this all important attribute little wisdom is to be had. "Mere 'looking before we leap' is not enough. If our looking is charged with fear, suspicion, or anger, we had better not have looked or acted at all." ******************************** "We lose the fear of making decisions, great and small, as we realize that should our choice prove wrong we can, if we will, learn from the experience. Should our decision be the right one, we can thank God for giving us the courage and the grace that caused us so to act." Letters, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places With Whom are we Honest? Honesty "When you're up before a judge, you can't be honest with the court," an AA member said, with some regret. "If you are, the judge will throw the book at you." This member was right in the sense that court-room disclosures must always be made with prudence. What's more important is that we are always completely honest with ourselves and the close friends who serve as our sponsors. As for what is disclosed in a court situation, for example, we follow sound professional advice. Under no circumstances, of course, should we tell an outright lie, however. Our practice of honesty also does not require us to tell every person we know about our alcoholism. We are entitled to our privacy as well as anonymity. Others, in turn, need not be burdened with complete knowledge about our lives. Our Higher Power will guide us along honest paths once we're committed to the program. We will know when and how to make the right disclosures about ourselves. I'll practice rigorous honest today. At the same time, I will be prudent in the way I disclose personal information. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple This above all: To thine own self be true. ---William Shakespeare What does this saying mean: “To thine own self be true”? Hadn’t we thought only of ourselves before recovery? The answer is no. That wasn’t the real us. Each of us lost touch with our real self because of our addiction. We lost our goals, our feelings, our values. We chased the high. In this way, we lost our spirit. We became addicts. With sobriety, we find ourselves again---and it feels great! We stop playing a role and become ourselves---and it’s wonderful. We follow our dreams and beliefs, not some addictive wild goose chase. We are again free to be ourselves. Thank you. Higher Power. Prayer for the Day: Today, I pray to be myself, to know all of me. I can trust myself because my spirit is good. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll pray: “thine own self be true.” ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I used to think I'd never know the difference between serenity and depression because depression subdued me. --S.H. Depression is familiar to us all, and less incapacitating than it used to be. We have made progress, we can be assured. "This too shall pass" is not an empty slogan. Each of us can recall, with ease probably, a period we thought we'd never survive. Maybe our problem was family-related, or a tough on-the-job situation. Or maybe we felt inadequate and lacking in strength to cope with all situations. But we managed. Here we are today, taking charge of our lives and moving forward in search of serenity. Serenity no doubt eludes us, again and again, throughout the day. But we can let our minds rest. We can give our thoughts to the wind, and serenity will find us. Serenity's peace nurtures us, strengthens us to withstand the turmoil ahead. There is always turmoil ahead. Life's lessons are found there. The irony is that a life with no problems doesn't offer the opportunities we must have if we are to grow. I will let the serene moments wash over me. I will cherish them. They soften me. And the blows of today's tumultuous storm will be lessened. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS When he sees you know all about the drinking game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic. Tell him how baffled you were, how you finally learned that you were sick. Give him an account of the struggles you made to stop. Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism. If he is alcoholic, he will understand you at once. He will match your mental inconsistencies with some of his own. pp. 91-92 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories MY BOTTLE, MY RESENTMENTS, AND ME - From childhood trauma to skid row drunk, this hobo finally found a Higher Power, bringing sobriety and a long-lost family. Through some friends I met a woman I really cared for and soon we were married. A year later our daughter was born, and eventually two boys. Oh, how I loved my brood! This nice little family should have settled me down, but instead my drinking progressed. It finally reached a point where I was intolerable to live with, and my wife filed for divorce. I just went berserk, and the sheriff ordered me to leave town. I knew if I stayed , my anger at my wife for taking those children away from me would get me into more trouble than even I could handle, so once again I set off. I left with my hatred, my resentment, and the clothes on my back. This time for good. pp. 439-440 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Foreword As A.A. now enters maturity, it has begun to reach into forty foreign lands.* In the view of its friends, this is but the beginning of its unique and valuable service. It is hoped that this volume will afford all who read it a close-up view of the principles and forces which have made Alcoholics Anonymous what it is. (A.A.'s General Service Office may be reached by writing: Alcoholics Anonymous, P.O. Box 459, Grand Central Station, New York, NY 10163, U.S.A.) *In 1998, A.A. is established in 150 countries. p. 18 ************************************************** ********* Few is the number of those who think with their own mind and feel with their own heart. --Albert Einstein "I think everybody has to experience a certain amount of pain on the way to maturity." --Ruth Casey "The great mind knows the power of gentleness." --Robert Browning God is guiding me in all my thoughts and plans and actions. I have given up all my struggling and self-defeating messages and have turned over all my thoughts to the power and energy of goodness and love. --Ruth Fishel Today, I will not run from myself, my circumstances, or feelings. I will be open to myself, others, my Higher Power, and life. I will trust that by facing today to the best of my ability, I will acquire the skills I need to face tomorrow. --Melody Beattie We do not possess our home, our children, or even our own body. They are only given to us for a short while to treat with care and respect. --Jack Kornfield "Two things are hard on the heart - running upstairs and running down people." --Unknown *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation THOUGHT "To be able to be caught up in a world of thought -- that is being educated." -- Edith Hamilton For years I didn't think I reacted. Things happened and I felt I had to respond -- but rarely was it a considered response. I had no program for my life. I was like a boat without a sail. Today I think before I speak. I talk things over with a sponsor or friends before I make an important decision. I listen to the opinions of others before I make a choice. Today I am caught up in a world of thought and it isn't simply my own. God knows my best thinking nearly killed me! The world only makes sense because people share. It is the giving and receiving that makes life worthwhile. To be an island unto myself is isolation. I know what it was to be lonely. Today I desire a relationship of mind, body and feelings. Let me find You in my neighbor and be sustained by the stranger. ************************************************** ********* "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." Ephesians 4:29 "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." John 12:24 If you give, you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and running over. Whatever measure you use in giving "large or small" it will be used to measure what is given back to you. Luke 6:38 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration The little moments of the day are as important in building our foundation as the impact of great events. Lord, thank You for my blessings and my crosses. Graciously bless me with the courage to grow closer to You with all that fills my day. Never doubt the power, the wisdom and the love that God has for you. Lord, thank You for Your constant care and the certainty of Your love for me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Bend With The Wind "We learn to become flexible.. As new things are revealed, we feel renewed." Basic Text p.98 "Flexibility" was not a part of the vocabulary we used in our using days. We'd become obsessed with the raw pleasure of our drugs and hardened to all the softer, subtler, more infinitely varied pleasures of the world around us. Our disease had turned life itself into a constant threat of jails, institutions, and death, a threat against which we hardened ourselves all the more. In the end we became brittle. With the merest breath of life's wind we crumbled at last, broken, defeated, with no choice but to surrender. But the beautiful irony of recovery is that, in our surrender, we found the flexibility we had lost in our addiction, the very lack of which had defeated us. We regained the ability to bend in life's breeze without breaking. When the wind blew, we felt its loving caress against our skin, where once we would have hardened ourselves as if against the onrush of a storm. The winds of life blow new airs our way each moment, and with them new fragrances, new pleasures, varied, subtly different. As we bend with life's wind, we feel and hear and touch and smell and taste all it has to offer us. And as new winds blow, we feel renewed. Just for today: Higher Power, help me bend with life's wind and glory in its passing. Free me from rigidity. pg. 265 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Good friendships are fragile things and require as much care as any other fragile and precious things. --Randolph Bourne A good friendship is like a flower garden. It needs attention and care. We start by preparing the soil and then planting our tiny seeds. Our friendships have foundations like the soil, and in them we plant seeds of trust and understanding. Like a garden, friendships need care and love in order to thrive. We nourish friendships with visits, thoughtful favors, and trust. When we are feeling down or in need of help, a friendship can offer us more than just beauty. When we work at our friendships, they are not seasonal but bloom in any weather, and they surround us with comfort and the knowledge that we have, and deserve, love. How can I nurture a friendship today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A man can stand a lot as long as he can stand himself. --Axel Munthe Sometimes we're mistaken about the source of our unhappiness. We walk around with a short fuse, ready to explode if anyone crosses our path. Then, when we do explode, we think it is the other person's fault. At other times we have frightening physical reactions and worry that something is wrong with our bodies. But we are not aware that a deeper feeling of not being able to stand ourselves causes the problem. Most of us have problems accepting ourselves. When we make peace with our consciences, some of our problems vanish. Other problems may never disappear, but our pain is eased because our inner battle has ceased and we have the energy we need to cope. I am grateful for the gift of self-respect this program gives me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I used to think I'd never know the difference between serenity and depression because depression subdued me. --S.H. Depression is familiar to us all, and less incapacitating than it used to be. We have made progress, we can be assured. "This too shall pass" is not an empty slogan. Each of us can recall, with ease probably, a period we thought we'd never survive. Maybe our problem was family-related, or a tough on-the-job situation. Or maybe we felt inadequate and lacking in strength to cope with all situations. But we managed. Here we are today, taking charge of our lives and moving forward in search of serenity. Serenity no doubt eludes us, again and again, throughout the day. But we can let our minds rest. We can give our thoughts to the wind, and serenity will find us. Serenity's peace nurtures us, strengthens us to withstand the turmoil ahead. There is always turmoil ahead. Life's lessons are found there. The irony is that a life with no problems doesn't offer the opportunities we must have if we are to grow. I will let the serene moments wash over me. I will cherish them. They soften me. And the blows of today's tumultuous storm will be lessened. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Conflict and Detachment In a relationship, there are those wonderful times when things go smoothly for both people, and neither person needs to focus too heavily on the concept of detachment. But there are those challenging times when one person is in crisis or changing - and we need to detach. Then there are stressful cycles when both people in a relationship are in the midst of dealing with intense issues. Both are needy and neither has anything to give. These are times when detachment and taking care of ourselves are difficult. It is helpful, in these moments, to identify the problem. Both people are in the midst of dealing and healing. Neither has much to give, at least at the moment. And both are feeling particularly needy. That is the problem. What's the solution? There may not be a perfect solution. Detachment is still the key, but that can be difficult when we need support ourselves. In fact, the other person may be asking for support rather than offering it. We can still work toward detachment. We can still work through our feelings. We can accept this as a temporary cycle in the relationship, and stop looking to the other person for something he or she cannot give at the moment. We can stop expecting ourselves to give at the moment as well. Communication helps. Identifying the problem and talking about it without blame or shame is a start. Figuring out alternative support systems, or ways to get our needs met, helps. We are still responsible for taking care of ourselves - even when we are in the best of relationships. We can reasonably expect conflicts of need and the clashing of issues to occur in the most loving, healthy relationships. It is one of the cycles of love, friendship, and family. If it is a healthy relationship, the crisis will not go on endlessly. We will regain our balance. The other person will too. We can stop making ourselves so crazy by looking for the other person to be balanced when he or she isn't. Talk things out. Work things out. Keep our expectations of other people, our relationships, and ourselves healthy and reasonable. A good relationship will be able to sustain and survive low points. Sometimes we need them, so we can both grow and learn separately. Sometimes, people who are usually there for us cannot be there for us. We can find another way to take care of ourselves. Today, I will remember that my best relationships have low points. If the low point is the norm, I may want to consider the desirability of the relationship. If the low point is a temporary cycle, I will practice understanding for myself and the other person. God, help me remember that the help and support I want and need does not come in the form of only one person. Help me be open to healthy options for taking care of myself, if any normal support system is not available. I am letting go of all that is holding me back from spiritual progress today. My path is becoming easier as I open myself up to faith and trust. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey To The Heart Heal Your Fear of Abandonment Some say the fear of abandonment is a universal fear. It’s common to most people in most places. It is that anguishing, heartbreaking moment when we believe someone is going to leave us. For many of us, the fear began when some important person did leave or abandon us– physically or emotionally. Now the very thought of it happening again terrifies us. Although the fear may be universal, if we have it, it still belongs to us. It needs to be faced, felt, acknowledged, and released– it needs to be healed– or else it may control our lives and harm our relationships. Sometimes we may fear being abandoned so much that we don’t want anyone to leave us– even people we don’t like– because it triggers that old familiar feeling. If we don’t deal with it, however, people can use it against us. All they have to do is threaten to leave and we crumble, acquiesce at the mere thought of feeling that way again. Underneath the fear of abandonment another fear may lurk too, a deeper fear, the fear that somehow we’ve made the people we love go away. Sometimes in our lives, certain people have had to go away, because that is where their path led them. But if they felt confused, guilty, or uncertain about the leaving, they may have lied to us. They may have told us we did something wrong, we caused the separation, it was our fault they were leaving. And their lie became embedded in us. Did someone tell that lie to you? Tell yourself something different. Tell yourself the truth. You don’t make people go away. You weren’t the cause. If someone needed to leave you, that was his or her choice. Heal your fear of abandonment. Set yourself and others free. ***** more language of letting go Listen to yourself In the Bible, God tells us, "Be still and know that I am God." Learn to silence the chattering of your ego, whether through prayer, meditation, or a long walk in the park. Find that place where you can detach from the pressures of the world. Find that place where your body and spirit work together in harmony. Being aware of your true self is the best way to free yourself from the controlling, manipulative behaviors of others. You don't need the right car, the right shoes, the right girlfriend to be complete. All you really need is to be yourself. Your spirit is the real you. Let it guide you. Be still. Listen to your spirit say, I am, and I am enough. In the silence, you'll hear God. God, help me be quiet so I can hear you. ***** Underneath the Noise Hearing the Whisper by Madisyn Taylor There is beauty and power when we listen to the whisper. You may have noticed that if you want to speak to someone in a noisy, crowded room, the best thing to do is lean close and whisper. Yelling in an attempt to be louder than the room’s noise generally only hurts your throat and adds to the chaos. Similarly, that still, small voice within each of us does not try to compete with the mental chatter on the surface of our minds, nor does it attempt to overpower the volume of the raucous world outside. If we want to hear it, no matter what is going on around us or even inside us, we can always tune in to that soft voice underneath the surrounding noise. It is generally true that the more insistent voices in our heads delivering messages that make us feel panicky or afraid are of questionable authority. They may be voices we internalized from childhood or from the culture, and as such they possess only half-truths. Their urgency stems from their disconnectedness from the center of our being, and their urgency is what catches our attention. The other voice that whispers reassurances that everything is fundamentally okay simply delivers its message with quiet confidence. Once we hear it, we know it speaks the truth. Generally, once we have heard what it has to say, a powerful sense of calm settles over our entire being, and the other voices and sounds, once so dominant, fade into the background, suddenly seeming small and far away. We may find that our own communications in the world begin to be influenced by the quiet certainty of this voice. We may be less inclined to indulge in idle chatter as we become more interested in maintaining our connection to the whisper of truth that broadcasts its message like the sound of the wind shaking the leaves of a tree. As we align ourselves more with this quiet confidence, we become an extension of the whisper, penetrating the noise of the world and creating more peace, trust, and confidence. Published with permission from Daily OM ***** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day The one thing, more than anything else, that can relieve my occasional feeling of depression is love. I have to keep myself “lovable” in the sense of being able to love others, rather than being concerned with whether others love me. In somehow losing myself in others, emotionally or spiritually, I usually find myself. Today I understand what they meant at those first blurry meetings of The Program when they told me that I was the most important person in the room. Do I say the same thing to other new members today, and mean it? Today I Pray May I know that if I can love others, without expecting to be loved back, chances are that I will receive a share of love in return. It is only my expectation of approval which cancels out the value of my love. Today I Will Remember Love is not an investment, but a charitable contribution. ************************************************** ***************** Food For Thought Praying Only… In Step Eleven, we are “praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” How that simplifies our prayer! We do not have to worry about asking for the right things in the right way. We simply pray that we may know God’s will and be given the power to do it. This Step is closely related to Step Three, since we are leaving the decisions up to God. He knows better than we what is best for us to have and to do. We make ourselves available to His direction without attaching conditions and clauses about what we will and will not do. This kind of prayer frees us from much worry and anxiety. We accept abstinence as God’s will for us, since without abstinence we are powerless to do much of anything. Beyond that, we are prepared to live each day as our Higher Power gives it to us, trusting that He will show us His will and supply us with the power that we need. This is my prayer, Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time The Present “Real generosity towards the future consists in giving all to what is present.” Albert Camus Fear ruled my life until two years ago. I was paralyzed with fear about the future and what would happen when “they” discovered how bad I really was and how little they could trust me. I was terrified that the past would catch up with me and I’d be found out. The guilt and shame of my last binge came along for the ride as I replayed the scene compulsively and beat myself up for screwing up yet again. This made it impossible for me to stay in the present. In program I learned that I wasn’t really paralyzed by the past nor the future; rather, I was paralyzed by fear of losing control. The only way to release that fear was to admit, every hour of every day, that I was powerless over people, the past, the future and the food. When I wrote it down and put it in my God box, I could live in the present time. It was hard at first, and I'd grab it back when the fear crept in. But I'd let it go a little more each time, allowing me to be free of fear and enjoy moments of the day. The moments turned into hours and soon I was experiencing a full day without fear. The fear of the past and the future held less sway over me as I worked the Steps, surrendered my fears, and did service. Service is the most important tool for me. The more service I do, the more I am fully alive in the present and I worry less about the past and the future. The peace and serenity that replaced the fear are blessed gifts allowing me to explore more of the present day. With them, I can honestly share myself with others and rebuild relationships. I now know the freedom of “giving all to what is present” and I pray for the willingness to stay in the present and be generous toward my future. One day at a time... I live fully in the present, easily and effortlessly surrendering the past and the future to my Higher Power. ~ Anne L. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end. - Pg. 152 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Many times we go to meetings to listen to what happens to people who don't go to meetings. When they ask for a topic at today's meeting, suggest 'What Happens to People Who Don't go to Meetings.' One meeting a day can not possibly take as much time as my former bars, parties, connections, and the energy I put into using and drinking, so help me see that any complaints about the 'frequency' is unfounded. Meditation Today I draw strength and nourishment from within. I will meditate. There is a medicine chest inside of me if I tap into it. I have body chemicals that are meant to smooth me out, to nourish me and let me feel good inside. I can get those going through quiet and meditation. I can feel them coursing through my system, elevating my mood. In my own inner quiet, I will look for nothing. I will simply be. I will bear witness to the inner workings of my mind but I will not tell my mind to do or be anything. I will just let it flow and float in and out of consciousness. I will just be. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote We are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I cannot feel my way into better behavior, I must behave my way into better feelings. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Give your smile to the next person you meet. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am letting go of all that is holding me back from spiritual progress today. My path is becoming easier as I open myself up to faith and trust. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Step One is pretty straight forward; I can't drink - and I have trouble not drinking. - Clancy I.
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September 12
Daily Reflections I AM RESPONSIBLE For the readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 87 In recovery, and through the help of Alcoholics Anonymous, I learn that the very thing I fear is my freedom. It comes from my tendency to recoil from taking responsibility for anything: I deny, I ignore, I blame, I avoid. Then one day, I look, I admit, I accept. The freedom, the healing and the recovery I experience is in the looking, admitting and accepting. I learn to say, "Yes, I am responsible." When I can speak those words with honesty and sincerity, then I am free. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day "What draws newcomers to A.A. and gives them hope? They hear the stories of men and women whose experiences tally with their own. The expressions on the faces of the women, that undefinable something in the eyes of the men, the stimulating atmosphere of the A.A. clubroom, conspire to let them know that there is haven at last. The very practical approach to their problems, the absence of intolerance of any kind, the informality, the genuine democracy, the uncanny understanding that these people in A.A. have is irresistible." Have I found a real haven in A.A.? Meditation For The Day "If thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light." The eye of the soul is the will. if your will is to do the will of God, to serve Him with your life, to serve Him by helping others, then truly shall your whole body be full of light. The important thing is to strive to attune your will to the will of God, a single eye to God's purpose, desiring nothing less than that His purposes be fulfilled. Try to seek in all things the advance of His kingdom, seek the spiritual values of honesty and purity, unselfishness and love, and earnestly desire spiritual growth. Then your life will emerge from the darkness of futility into the light of victory. Prayer For The Day I pray that my eye may be single. I pray that my life may be lived in the light of the best that I know. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Satisfactions of Right Living, p.254 How wonderful is the feeling that we do not have to be specially distinguished among our fellows in order to be useful and profoundly happy. Not many of us can be leaders of prominence, nor do we wish to be. Service gladly rendered, obligations squarely met, troubles well accepted or solved with God's help, the knowledge that at home or in the world outside we are partners in a common effort, the fact that in God's sight all human beings are important, the proof that love freely given brings a full return, the certainty that we are no longer isolated and alone in self-constructed prisons, the surety that we can fit and belong in God's scheme of things--these are the satisfactions of right living for which no pomp and circumstance, no heap of material possessions, could possibly be substitutes. 12 & 12, p.124 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Handle the Old tapes with care. Releasing the Past. A large number of recovering people have a tough time coming to terms with the abuse and abandonment of childhood days. Sometimes we play those "old tapes" while reliving the past in a mood of self-pity and resentment. This is destructive. We cannot completely erase the past, but we can turn it over to our friends and our Higher power. Our goal should be to transform past experiences into constructive examples. We can start by reminding ourselves that all unhappy experience is a product of the world's sickness and ignorance. Far from being unusual, our misery was a common thing that we're only now beginning to overcome. We can also practice God's forgiveness, remembering that real forgiveness is humanly impossible. We should resist the temptation to tell others about our past sufferings in order to gain sympathy. At all times, the old tapes must be handled with care. Whatever happened in the past cannot affect me today unless I let it. I'll play the old tapes only when it can be done constructively. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple When angry, count to ten before you speak: if very angry, a hundred. ---Thomas Jefferson Sometimes we just want to yell. Maybe a family member or a friend messed up, and we want to “set them straight.” Start counting. Maybe we got chewed out at work and we want “to get even.” Start counting. We get drunk on anger. We may feel powerful when we “set someone straight.” But like an alcohol high, an anger high last only a short time and can hurt others. We must control our anger. This is why we count. Cool down. Think out what you need or want to say. Use words that you’ll not be ashamed of later. Learning how to respect others when we’re angry is a sign of recovery. Prayer for the Day : Higher Power, teach me to respect others when I’m angry. Action for the Day: Today, when I feel angry I’ll count. I’ll work at not controlling other with my anger. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning No person is your enemy, no person is your friend, and every person is your teacher. --Florence Scovel Shinn We can open ourselves to opportunities today. They abound in our lives. No circumstance we find ourselves in is detrimental to our progress. No relationship with someone at work or at home is superfluous to our development. Teachers are everywhere. And as we become ready for a new lesson, one will appear. We can marvel at the wonder of our lives today. We can reflect on our yesterdays and be grateful for the lessons they taught. We can look with hopeful anticipation at the days ahead--gifts, all of them. We are on a special journey, serving a special purpose, uniquely our own. No barrier, no difficult person, no tumultuous time is designed to interrupt our progress. All experiences are simply to teach us what we have yet to learn. Trusting in the goodness of all people, all situations, all paths to progress will release whatever our fears, freeing us to go forth with a quicker step and an assurance that eases all moments. The Twelve Steps help us to recognize the teachers in our lives. They help us clear away the baggage of the past and free us to accept and trust the will of God, made known to us by the teachers as they appear. I am a student of life. I can learn only if I open my mind to my teachers. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS If you are satisfied that he is a real alcoholic, begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady. Show him, from your own experience, how the queer mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power. Don’t, at this stage, refer to this book, unless he has seen it and wishes to discuss it. And be careful not to brand him as an alcoholic. Let him draw his own conclusion. If he sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking, tell him that possibly he can—if he is not too alcoholic. But insist that if he is severely afflicted, there may be little chance he can recover by himself. p. 92 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories MY BOTTLE, MY RESENTMENTS, AND ME - From childhood trauma to skid row drunk, this hobo finally found a Higher Power, bringing sobriety and a long-lost family. In the largest city close by I could be found, dead broke, drinking myself into oblivion on skid row. At first a day-labor job provided for rent and food, but before long all the money had to go for booze. I found a mission where someone in need could sleep and eat free. But the bugs were so bad, the food so terrible, and people were such thieves, I decided that it was easier just to sleep outside and that I really didn't need to eat so often. So I found that hobo jungles, parked cars, and abandoned houses made nice places for my bottle, my resentments, and me. No one dared to bother me! I was utterly bewildered at where life had taken me. p. 440 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step One - "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable. " Who cares to admit complete defeat? Practically no one, of course. Every natural instinct cries out against the idea of personal powerlessness. It is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand, we have warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of Providence can remove it from us. p. 21 ************************************************** ********* "Pray to God, but keep rowing to the shore." --Russian Proverb The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. --Flora Whittemore One never knows what each day is going to bring. The important thing is to be open and ready for it. --Henry Moore "Lord, make me a channel of thy peace--that where there is hatred, I may bring love--that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness--that where there is discord, I may bring harmony--that where there is error, I may bring truth--that where there is doubt, I may bring faith--that where there is despair, I may bring hope--that where there are shadows, I may bring light--that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted--to understand, than to be understood--to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life. Amen." --12 & 12, p. 99 *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation SELF-LOVE "To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance." -- Oscar Wilde Today I am able to say that I love myself. To love myself is to love God and the world in which I live. I cannot befriend, hug, help or create without first having a relationship with myself. Without me, there is no meaning to my life. I am the most important thing in my life. This is not said to be conceited but is an aspect of self-love. It reveals a healthy pride and respect for my life. And it feels good. For years I thought that to love "self" was wrong and sinful, a misuse of energy and time. What people thought about me was so important; what people said about me was a constant worry. And the more I looked out of myself for meaning, the more lost, isolated and confused I became. Then I heard that God loved me and he wanted me to love me. Today I live and love through me. O God who created me to love, let me begin with me. ************************************************** ********* The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Psalm 23 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration No one has the power to take your happiness or keep you from being happy and at peace unless you allow it. Lord, help me remember that I am sustained and supported by Your love for me who wants only for my safety and goodness. Enthusiasm keeps the mind young and the spirit growing. Lord, may I always see wonder in the ordinary happenings of my day. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today New Horizons "My life is well-rounded and I am becoming a more comfortable version of myself, not the neurotic, boring person that I thought I'd be without drugs." Basic Text p.262 Is there really life without drugs? Newcomers are sure that they are destined to lead a humdrum existence once they quit using. That fear is far from reality. Narcotics Anonymous opens the door to a new way of life for our members. The only thing we lose in NA is our slavery to drugs. We gain a host of new friends, time to pursue hobbies, the ability to be stabley employed, even the capacity to pursue an education if we so desire. We are able to start projects and see them through to completion. We can go to a dance and feel comfortable, even if we have two left feet. We start to budget money to travel, even if it's only with a tent to a nearby campsite. In recovery, we find out what interests us and pursue new pastimes. We dare to dream. Life is certainly different when we have the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous to return to. Through the love we find in NA, we begin to believe in ourselves. Equipped with this belief, we venture forth into the world to discover new horizons. Many times, the world is a better place because an NA member has been there. Just for today: I can live a well-rounded, comfortable life-a life I never dreamt existed. Recovery has opened new horizons to me and equipped me to explore them. pg. 266 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves today. --Brendan Francis We often find ourselves yearning for tomorrow. We get carried away thinking about the next day's big game or camping trip. We find ourselves daydreaming about how much fun we'll have with friends or what animals we'll see in the park. The next day comes and perhaps the excitement about the game diminishes because our friends can't make it or the camping trip is canceled because of bad weather. We feel cheated and begin regretting the missed opportunities of yesterday. When we find ourselves concentrating only on tomorrow, we need to stop and look around. We'll begin to notice the joke a friend is telling, or the bird flying overhead. We will begin appreciating the joys of the moment. When we live in the moment, we have no expectations about the next moment, and without expectations, we can't be disappointed, only surprised. What is delightful about this moment right now? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Not all fights are bad; in fact they are preferable to disciplined serenity. --William Atwood. A good relationship includes some disagreement. Anger and disagreement, when we express them respectfully, are important ways of renewing communication and breaking through the walls that sometimes built up. No relationship can tolerate constant fighting. But, when we don't agree with someone, we owe it to that person to speak up and follow through to resolution. We can promise ourselves and the other person that we will stay in the relationship through the disagreement. It is because we care that we fight. In any relationship we care about, there will be differences. When we avoid all confrontations, our relationships go stale because all emotional issues are avoided. Carefulness and over control undermine love because they don't give it room to breathe, but disagreement and anger expressed in honest and respectful ways will help love grow. Today, I pray for the courage to acknowledge my disagreements and angry feelings with others and to deal with their feelings toward me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. No person is your enemy, no person is your friend, and every person is your teacher. --Florence Scovel Shinn We can open ourselves to opportunities today. They abound in our lives. No circumstance we find ourselves in is detrimental to our progress. No relationship with someone at work or at home is superfluous to our development. Teachers are everywhere. And as we become ready for a new lesson, one will appear. We can marvel at the wonder of our lives today. We can reflect on our yesterdays and be grateful for the lessons they taught. We can look with hopeful anticipation at the days ahead--gifts, all of them. We are on a special journey, serving a special purpose, uniquely our own. No barrier, no difficult person, no tumultuous time is designed to interrupt our progress. All experiences are simply to teach us what we have yet to learn. Trusting in the goodness of all people, all situations, all paths to progress will release whatever our fears, freeing us to go forth with a quicker step and an assurance that eases all moments. The Twelve Steps help us to recognize the teachers in our lives. They help us clear away the baggage of the past and free us to accept and trust the will of God, made known to us by the teachers as they appear. I am a student of life. I can learn only if I open my mind to my teachers. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Healing We should learn not to grow impatient with the slow healing process of time. We should discipline ourselves to recognize that there are many steps to be taken along the highway leading from sorrow to renewed serenity... We should anticipate these stages in our emotional convalescence: unbearable pain, poignant grief, empty days, resistance to consolation, disinterestedness in life, gradually giving way . . . to the new weaving of a pattern of action and the acceptance of the irresistible challenge of life. --Joshua Loth Liebman Recovery is a process. It is a gradual process, a healing process, and a spiritual process - a journey rather than a destination. Just as codependency takes on a life of its own and is progressive, so recovery progresses. One thing leads to another and things - as well as us - get better. We can relax, do our part, and let the rest happen. Today, I will trust this process and this journey that I have undertaken. Each step I take today makes me feel better and better. Today I know that I have all that I need to do exactly what must be done and go exactly where I need to go. --Ruth Fishel ****************************** Journey To The Heart Energize Yourself Don’t tell yourself you have no energy. You are energy. Learn to energize yourself. Get up. Move around. Play some invigorating music. Stretch your arms, stretch your legs. Move your body around. Get out and walk. Watch children play. They seem to have an unlimited supply of energy. Remember what it was like to be a child. You had an unlimited supply of energy then. Most of us still do. Yes, we do get tired from time to time, particularly with the schedules many of us have. And there are time in our life when less energy is available to us, such as during times of deep grief or during illness when our body is using its energy to heal a physical problem. And sometimes other people and their problems drain us. But sometimes we drain ourselves,too. If you don’t feel your energy, perhaps something is blocking it. You may be experiecing some resistance to what you’re trying to do. Maybe an old emotion or belief is clogging your circuits. Maybe you’ve been sitting too long crunched up in your chair, blocking your own circuits. Maybe you’re telling yourself you have no energy so loudly that you’ve begun to believe it. Clear your circuits. Push through whatever’s blocking you. Then get up, move around, connect to life. Learn to energize yourself. ***** more language of letting go Look at the roles you play In his book Ethics for a New Millenium, the Dalai Lama spoke of the idea that most of us aren't a static personality. There isn't just one side to us; we play many roles in life. I am a recovering alcoholic and a recovering codependent. I am a mother. I am a writer. I am someone's girlfriend. I am a sky diver. I am a business person, a negotiator, a woman. In each of these roles, my personality expresses itself differently. I use different talents and traits. What are all the different roles you play in your life? Most of us are aware that we're one person at work, somewhat different at home, and sometimes a lot different when we play. Some of us tend to feel guilty about this. "Oh, if they only knew what I was like at home, they'd never respect me as a boss," one man said. Take the time to get to know all the different parts of yourself. Honor and respect each one. Each has an important role to play in your life. When we're trying to move forward, take a moment. Make certain that all of your I am's are working together for your best. You don't have to behave the same at home as you do at work. You get to be a mother, and a wife,too. Honor and respect all the different roles you play in life, understanding that each one has its own important place. Then remember to practice the principles we're striving to live by in everything we do. Our roles might change, but the ideals and values we live by don't. God, help me honor and accept all my past and present I am's. Help me leave enough room to create new sides or parts of myself,too. Activity: Take some time to write in your journal about all the different roles you play in your life right now. Describe each role as accurately as you can. The next time you get stuck, consult each one of these personalities. For instance, the worker in you may want to make a particular decision about moving forward in your career, but the parent self may have some objections. Understand every part of your personality and learn to make decisions that benefit the whole. ***** Walking With Awareness Mindful Walking Many of us take the benefits of walking for granted. Each day we limit the steps we take by driving or sitting for long periods of time. But walking even a few blocks a day has unlimited benefits – not only for our health, but our spirit as well, for as we walk, we connect with the earth. Even when walking on concrete, the earth is still beneath us, supporting us. Walking lets our body remember simpler times, when life was less complicated. This helps us slow down to the speed of our body and take the time to integrate the natural flow of life into our cellular tissue. Instead of running from place to place or thinking about how much more we can fit into our day, walking allows us to exist in the moment. Each step we take can lead us to becoming more mindful of ourselves and our feelings. Walking slows us down enough not only to pay attention to where we are in our body, but also to our breath. Taking time to simply notice our breath while we walk, through the length of our inhales and exhales, and becoming attuned to the way in which we breathe is taking a step towards mindfulness. When we become more mindful, we gradually increase our awareness of the environment around us and start to recognize that the normal flow of our thoughts and feelings are not always related to where we are in the present moment. Gradually we realize that the connection we have with the earth and the ground beneath our feet is all that is. By walking and practicing breathing mindfully we gain a sense of calm and tranquility -- the problems and troubles of the day slowly fade away because we are in the ‘now’. The simplicity and ease of a walking practice allows us to create time, space and awareness of our surroundings and of the wonders that lie within. Taking a few moments to walk each day and become more aware of our breath will in turn open the door for the beauty of the world around us to filter in. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day “At certain moments.” wrote Coleridge, ” a single almost insignificant sorrow may, by association, bring together all the little epics of pain and discomfort, bodily and mental, that we have endured even from infancy.” The Program doesn’t teach us to pretend that hardships and sorrow are meaningless. Grief really hurts, and so do other kinds of pain. But now that we’re free of our addictions, we have much greater control over our thinking. And the thoughts we choose to spend time on during any given day can strongly influence the complexion of our feelings for that day. Am I finding different and better ways of using my mind? Today I Pray May I thank God for the pain — however insignificant -0- that magnetizes my succession of old hurts into one large one that I can take out and look at, and then discard to make room for new and present concerns. May I thank God for restoring my sensitivity to pain after the numbness of addiction. Today I Will Remember I can thank God for restoring my feelings. ****************************** One More Day There is no more certain sign of a narrow mind, or stupidity, and of arrogance, then to stand aloof from those who think differently from us. – Walter Savage Landor We all carry some opinions and beliefs formed long ago, with no thought as to how they continue to affect us. We may be inflexible to beliefs or ideas that differ from ours. Because of this we might be intolerant of other people, especially those who seem different from us. Our beliefs and actions toward other people may come from fear — a fear of the unexpected, of the unknown, or of being wrong. Wee may resist examining the rules and beliefs governing our lives because we’re not totally sure of them. Opening ourselves to new ideas is easier if we remain ourselves that we don’t have to accept the ideas, just the people. I can fearlessly open myself to new ideas and new people. ************************************************** ****************** Food For Thought Carrying the Message We do not keep our program unless we give it away. Our participation in meetings is a means of sharing with others what OA has given us. We are genuinely interested in newcomers, because they remind us of where we came from and because they give us an opportunity to strengthen our own program by sharing what we have received. Sometimes we carry the message by providing transportation for someone who otherwise would not get to a meeting. Sometimes we give of ourselves by simply listening when a newcomer needs to talk. Practicing the OA principles in all areas of our life is carrying the message, even to those who are not compulsive overeaters. Abstinence and the OA program now occupy the central place in our lives, the place which was once held by food. Following the will of our Higher Power means that we carry the message as He directs us. We are willing to be used in whatever way God moves us to give away our program. May I serve You by carrying the message. ***************************************** One Day At A Time LOVE “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Lucille Ball It took me a long time to learn what love truly means. I thought love included pleasing others, saying “yes” when I meant “no,” swallowing my true feelings and putting myself last. What I didn’t know is that I was practicing resentment, anger, fear, jealousy and everything but love. I could not love others because I did not love myself. Then I decided to take care of myself first. I considered no one but me, took care of myself, (or so I thought) while actually alienating myself from those close to me. I ate compulsively to tame the self-loathing I felt inside. And I loathed myself because I did not treat myself with real love and kindness. Today I know that loving myself must come first. If I love myself, I am better able to love everyone in my life because I do things from a place of honesty. If I treat myself with respect, I treat others with respect. Everyone wins when I love myself enough to accept myself, flaws and all. One day at a time ... I will ask my Higher Power for the ability to accept and love myself for where I am this day, knowing I am a work in progress like a tree that grows from self-care and nurturing. ~ Melissa ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The terms 'spiritual experience' and 'spiritual awakening' are used many times in this book which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself among us in many different forms. - Pg. 567 - 4th. Edition - Appendices II - Spiritual Experience Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Complete involvement in this new way of life will keep you from falling through the cracks. If you stay in the middle of us, you won't fall off the edge. As I follow those before me, newcomers will follow behind me and I will always be in the middle of the path of progress. The Experience of Pleasure I will build my capacity for experiencing joy and serenity. What good is earning a living if I don't enjoy my life, what good is recovery if I don't become grateful for the life I am saving, namely mine. Today I recognize that it is the simple pleasures that bring me the greatest joy. Waking up and feeling good. Enjoying the weather, a friend, a cup of tea. When I allow myself to live my life rather than chase after what I think my life should be or reject the good that is around me a mysterious thing happens. Life is enough. The space around me just sort of fills up with something, an energy, a sensation of being alive, a presence that fills in what previously felt empty. I look around and know it is enough. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Friends and loved ones don't always behave as we expect them to. But this is a good thing. If friends and loved ones were absolutely predictable, that would mean they are not changing and if they are not changing, they are not growing. I don't have to change friends if I understand that friends change. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Keep the focus on yourself, but once the picture is taken, move on. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Each step I take today makes me feel better and better. Today I know that I have all that I need to do exactly what must be done and go exactly where I need to go. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote If a newcomer calls at 2 am, I say: 'Your answer's on page 63 of the Big Book.' - I don't know what's on page 63, but this guy will start reading and if his answer's not there, he'll think; 'Well he must have given me the wrong page.' and keep reading until he finds his answer. - Serenity Sam.
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September 13
Daily Reflections REPAIRING THE DAMAGE Good judgment, careful sense of timing, courage and prudence - these are the qualities we shall need when we take Step Nine. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 83 To make amends can be viewed two ways: first, that of repairing damage, for if I have damaged my neighbor's fence, I "make a mend," and that is a direct amend; the second way is by modifying my behavior, for if my actions have harmed someone. I make a daily effort to cause no further harm. I "mend my ways," and that is an indirect amend. Which is the best approach? The only right approach, provided that I am causing no further harm in so doing, is to do both. If harm is done, then I simply "mend my ways." To take action in this manner assures me of making honest amends. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day "No one is too discredited, nor has sunk too low, to be welcomed cordially into A.A., if he or she means business. Social distinctions, petty rivalries and jealousies are laughed out of countenance. Being wrecked in the same vessel, being restored and united under one God, with hearts and minds attuned to the welfare of others, the things which matter so much to some people no longer signify much to us. In A.A., we have true democracy and true brotherhood." Meditation For The Day When you call on God in prayer to help you overcome weakness, sorrow, pain, discord, and conflict, God never fails in some way to answer the appeal. When you are in need of strength for yourself or for the help of some other person, call on God in prayer. The power you need will come simply, naturally, and forcefully. Pray to God not only when you need help, but also just to commune with Him. The spirit of prayer can alter an atmosphere from one of discord to one of reconciliation. It will raise the quality of thought and word and bring order out of chaos. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may bring peace where these is discord. I pray that I may bring conciliation where these is conflict. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Wider Understanding, p.255 To reach more alcoholics, understanding of A.A. and public good will towards A.A. must go on growing everywhere. We need to be on still better terms with medicine, courts, prisons, mental hospitals, and all enterprises in the alcoholism field. We need the increasing good will of editors, writers, television and radio channels. These publicity outlets need to be opened ever wider. ******************************** Nothing matters more to A.A.'s future welfare than the manner in which we use the colossus of modern communication. Used unselfishly and well, it can produce results surpassing our present imagination. Should we handle this great instrument badly, we shall be shattered by the ego manifestations of our own people. Against this peril, A.A. members' anonymity before the general public is our shield and our buckler. 1. Twelve Concepts, p.51 2. Grapevine, November 1960 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Learning to Cut my Losses Honesty Business people speak of “cutting their losses” when it becomes clear that a venture is going sour. As recovering alcoholics, we need to practice the same principle when we’re obviously on the wrong track. If a resentment is developing, for example, the sooner we spot it and clear it out, the less damage we suffer. In the same way, we may be engaging in selfish but destructive behavior, or perhaps something that borders on being illicit or dishonest. We minimize our losses by admitting the wrong and getting back to our basic principles of living. In cutting our losses, the usual barriers are pride and self-deception. While these shortcomings will probably always dog us, we at least have experience in dealing with them, or we wouldn't have made any progress in sobriety. If a course of thought or action isn't working out well, perhaps it’s time today to cut my loses in order to get back on the right track. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple People seldom improve when they have no model but themselves to copy.---Oliver Goldsmith If we had to get well by ourselves, we’d be in trouble. We’ve already tried this route. We need to learn a new way to live, not the old way we already know. That’s why we have sponsors in Twelve Step programs. Sponsors are one of the best things about our recovery. We pick people who are happy and doing well in recovery. Then we copy them. We copy them because sponsors are special people who have what we want. They have sobriety. They have happiness. They have common sense. They have peace and serenity. And they will help us get those things too. We learn a new way to live from them. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me pick good models. Help me copy what works for them. Action for the Day: If I don’t have a sponsor now, I’ll work today on getting one. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Nobody told me how hard and lonely change is. --Joan Gilbertson Pain, repeatedly experienced, indicates a need for self-assessment, an inventory of our behavior. Honest self-appraisal may well call for change, a change in attitude perhaps, a change in specific behavior in some instances, or maybe a change in direction. We get off the right path occasionally, but go merrily on our way until barriers surface, doors close, and experiences become painful. Most of us willingly wallow in our pain a while, not because we like it, but because its familiarity offers security. We find some comfort in our pain because at least it holds no surprises. When our trust in God is high, we are more willing to change. And we open ourselves to the indications for movement in a new direction. Each of us must find our own willingness. Each of us must develop attentiveness to the signs that repeatedly invite changes in our behavior. But most of all, each of us has to travel the road to change, singly. Changes we must find the courage to make will never be exactly like someone else's changes. Courage to change accompanies faith. My fears are telling me to look within to the spiritual source of strength, ever present but often forgotten. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it. Keep his attention focussed mainly on your personal experience. Explain that many are doomed who never realize their predicament. Doctors are rightly loath to tell alcoholic patients the whole story unless it will serve some good purpose. But you may talk to him about the hopelessness of alcoholism because you offer a solution. You will soon have your friend admitting he has many, if not all, of the traits of the alcoholic. If his own doctor is willing to tell him that he is alcoholic, so much the better. Even though your protégé may not have entirely admitted his condition, he has become very curious to know how you got well. Let him ask you that question, if he will. Tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that He does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles. When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused. Don’t raise such issues, no matter what your own convictions are. pp. 92-93 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories MY BOTTLE, MY RESENTMENTS, AND ME - From childhood trauma to skid row drunk, this hobo finally found a Higher Power, bringing sobriety and a long-lost family. Other hobos I met taught me the safest way to hop on a moving freight train and how to protect myself. They told me who were the easiest people to get a handout from and how to scam them. My biggest problem at the time was to find a way to get enough to drink to keep the reality of my life at bay. I was consumed by hate! For the next six years I went from skid row to skid row. One boxcar headed in any direction was as good as the another. I had no place to go. One thing about it, I never got lost, because I never cared where I was! I crossed the United States three times, with no plan, no reason, not eating half the time. I hung out with other misfits like myself. Someone would say they were hiring in Florida, or New York, or Wyoming, and off we'd go. But by the time we would finally get there, they would say they were not hiring anymore. That was all right, because we didn't want to work anyway. p. 440 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step One - "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable. " No other kind of bankruptcy is like this one. Alcohol, now become the rapacious creditor, bleeds us of all self-sufficiency and all will to resist its demands. Once this stark fact is accepted, our bankruptcy as going human concerns is complete. p. 21 ************************************************** ********* None of us has gotten where we are solely by pulling ourselves up from our own bootstraps. We got here because somebody bent down and helped us. --Thurgood Marshall Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind. --Henry James "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." --Albert Einstein (1879-1955) "Listen or Thy tongue will keep Thee deaf." --American Indian Proverb Rather than regretting that I wasted half of my life drinking, I am just grateful that God has given me the rare opportunity to live two lives in one lifetime. *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation MINORITY "The greatest good of a minority of our generation may be the greatest good for the greatest number of people in the long run." -- Oliver Wendell Homes, Jr. I belong to a minority. I am a recovering alcoholic. I use a spiritual program that keeps me sober a day at a time. I have a God that I can understand today. I do a daily inventory and make amends when appropriate, and I feel good about myself. This spiritual program is reaching out to the world: gamblers, overeaters, cocaine addicts, the families of addicts, the children of compulsive people; obsessive people can all be helped by this daily program of acceptance. Perhaps the recovering drunk has stumbled upon a miracle that can bring the world back to God! Lord, the more I talk about my "difference" with people, the more they and I feel the same. ************************************************** ********* "Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. Let your good spirit lead me on a level path." Psalm 143:10 "You have let me sink down deep in desperate problems. But you will bring me back to life again, up from the depths of the earth!" Psalms 71:20 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Talent is the ability to do easily that which others find difficult. Lord, help me to recognize and value the abilities that I have been given and use them gratefully. Simple trust in God is all that is required to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Lord, I love You. I trust in You. I am Your child. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Something Different "We had to have something different, and we thought we had found it in drugs." Basic Text p.13 Many of us have always felt different from other people. We know we're not unique in feeling that way; we hear many addicts share the same thing. We searched all our lives for something to make us all right, to fix that "different" place inside us, to make us whole and acceptable. Drugs seemed to fill that need. When we were high, at least we no longer felt the emptiness or the need. There was one drawback: The drugs, which were our solution, quickly became our problem. Once we gave up the drugs, the sense of emptiness returned. At first we felt despair because we didn't have any solution of our own to that miserable longing. But we were willing to take direction and began to work the steps. As we did, we found what we'd been looking for, that "something different" Today, we believe that our lifelong yearning was primarily for knowledge of a Higher Power; the "something different" we needed was a relationship with a loving God. The steps tell us how to begin that relationship. Just for today: My Higher Power is the "something different" that's always been missing in my life I will use the steps to restore that missing ingredient to my spirit. pg. 267 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Love, a thousand, thousand voices, From night to dawn, from dawn to night, Have cried the passion of their choices To orb your name and keep it bright. --William Rose Benet We are each in the midst of unique lives, and our choices are based on our own experiences, so it's only natural that they all be different. One of us may choose to go to jail for protesting nuclear weapons; another may choose to pray for peace. Both are working for the same goal. It is a sign of our love to respect others' right to choose for themselves, even to make choices we may not agree with. Perhaps a brother or sister likes music we hate, or a son or daughter wants to wear an unusual style of clothing. How often do we, in the name of love, try to force our choices on others? When we give the gift of letting loved ones choose what is right for them, it strengthens our ability to choose what is right for us. Whose choices can I honor today, even if I disagree? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Mothers give sons permission to be a prince but the father must show him how.... Fathers give daughters permission to be princesses. And mothers must show them how. Otherwise, both boys and girls will grow up and always see themselves as frogs. --Eric Berne Relationships with our fathers have been central in shaping our characters. We catch ourselves saying what we heard our fathers say, or doing something we know they did. Many of us have had pain and resentments in these relationships. We wanted more time than they gave us, or we longed for praise but got criticism, or we were never sure we measured up to them. Some of us can change our relationships with our fathers. We can do it, not by asking them to be different, but by being our full adult selves with them. This new experience is the doorway to a new aspect of our selves. Many of us cannot change our relationships with our fathers, but being with our sons and daughters in ways that nurture their growth is another chance to redo for ourselves what we missed. My father's importance to me is a fact I must surrender to. I will take what he has given me and grow with it. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Nobody told me how hard and lonely change is. --Joan Gilbertson Pain, repeatedly experienced, indicates a need for self-assessment, an inventory of our behavior. Honest self-appraisal may well call for change, a change in attitude perhaps, a change in specific behavior in some instances, or maybe a change in direction. We get off the right path occasionally, but go merrily on our way until barriers surface, doors close, and experiences become painful. Most of us willingly wallow in our pain a while, not because we like it, but because its familiarity offers security. We find some comfort in our pain because at least it holds no surprises. When our trust in God is high, we are more willing to change. And we open ourselves to the indications for movement in a new direction. Each of us must find our own willingness. Each of us must develop attentiveness to the signs that repeatedly invite changes in our behavior. But most of all, each of us has to travel the road to change, singly. Changes we must find the courage to make will never be exactly like someone else's changes. Courage to change accompanies faith. My fears are telling me to look within to the spiritual source of strength, ever present but often forgotten. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Times of Reprogramming Recovery is not all-tiresome, unrewarded work. There are times of joy and rest, times when we comfortably practice what we have learned. There are times of change, times when we struggle to learn something new or overcome a particular problem. These are the times when what we've been practicing in recovery begins to show in our life. These times of change are intense, but purposeful. There are also times when, at a deep level, we are being "reprogrammed." We start letting go of beliefs and behaviors. We may feel frightened or confused during these times. Our old behaviors or patterns may not have worked for us, but they were comfortable and familiar. During these times we may feel vulnerable, lonely, and needy - like we are on a journey without a road map or a flashlight, and we feel as if no one has traveled this ground before. We may not understand what is being worked out in us. We may not know where or if we are being led. We are being led. We are not alone. Our Higher Power is working His finest and best to bring true change in us. Others have traveled this road to. We will be led to someone who can help us, someone who can provide the markers we need. We are being prepared for receiving as much joy and love as our heart can hold. Recovery is a healing process. We can trust it, even when we don't understand it. We are right where we need to be in this process; we're going through exactly what we need to experience. And where we're going is better than any place we've been. Today, God, help me believe that the changes I'm going through are for the good. Help me believe that the road I'm traveling will lead to a place of light, love, and joy. Today I'm taking all the steps that I can for my recovery. My Higher Power is giving me all the guidance I need, and I am full of joy and gratitude that I am growing and healing today. --Ruth Fishel ****************************** Journey to the Heart Surrender to Your Feelings Sometimes we think being strong means not giving in to our emotions. But that’s not strength, that’s denial and resistance. Real power comes from being vulnerable enough to feel whatever you feel. Keep going, we tell ourselves. Don’t give in, This will pass… But the only way to pass through these times is by feeling what we feel. The longer we fight and resist our emotions, the longer the situation will continue that is triggering them. We may not see the lesson until we feel the feeling. We may not see the issue, the next step, the way out or the way through until we give in, feel our emotions, then release them. It’s not enough to talk about them, although that will help bring them into consciousness, into the light of day. But talking about our feelings is different from surrendering to and feeling the emotional energy. Feel the feeling, then release it. Now your soul and the universe can move you forward into new circumstances, into growth. An issue to work on– such as freedom, forgiveness, acceptance, love, or valuing some part of ourselves or our lives– may naturally and automatically emerge. If we pay attention to the process by which we grow, we will clearly see that each step of the way– feeling our feeling, accepting it, and then releasing it– triggered the next step of growth. Soon we will see that we are learning a new lesson. We are on our way again. There is magic in allowing our feelings to pass through us, magic in giving in. There is power, more than we think in being vulnerable enough to feel what we feel. ***** more language of letting go Who do you say you are? I was driving out to the skydiving center one day, mulling things over in my head. Before long, I'd be on the plane and it would be my time to walk to that door and jump out. The fears started brewing and building up. I don't know if I can do this, I thought. I don't even know if I want to become a sky diver or if this path is right for me. "You already are a sky diver," a quiet voice said. That's right, I thought. When I first began recovering from my chemical dependency, I preferred to identify myself as a drug addict. "My name is Melody, and I am a drug addict," I'd say quietly at the group. One member of the group started harping at me after hearing me identify this way. "You're an alcoholic,too," he said. "And you should label yourself as that." I resisted what he said for a while, and then I decided to give it a try. Finally at one meeting, I said the words aloud. "My name is Melody, and I am an alcoholic." Now, I understand why it was so important-- not to him but to me-- to label myself as an alcoholic. Number one, it was important because it was the truth. In order to focus on my recovery, I needed to abstain from using both alcohol and drugs. Number two, whether this friend knew it or not, he knew the power of the Great I Am. He wasn't asking me to degrade or limit myself. All he was asking me to do was identify who I really was and am. And by saying and acknowledging this, I helped create a new role, a new personality. I am now, at the time of this writing, by the grace of God, a recovering alcoholic and addict. Most of us aren't one single thing. We're a parent, a student, maybe a recovering person, and a grown child. We form many new I am's as we go through life. Watch each time you say the words I am in a conversation or thought. Pay attention to the times you say I'm not, as well. Then spend some time reflecting not only on who you are, but who you want to become. Discover the power in your life from saying I am. Who do you say you are and you aren't. Give yourself a chance to become someone new. God, help me understand and use correctly, to the best possible benefit of my growth, the power of the Great I Am. ***** A Reason to Smile Five Minutes to Happiness by Madisyn Taylor If you aren't a naturally happy person, take time each day to cultivate that which brings you happiness. It can be so easy to get caught up in the rigors of modern life that we tend to forget that happiness need not come with stipulations. Happiness becomes something we must schedule and strive for—a hard-won emotion—and then only when we have no worries to occupy our thoughts. In reality, overwhelming joy is not the exclusive province of those with unlimited time and no troubles to speak of. Many of the happiest people on earth are also those coping with the most serious challenges. They have learned to make time for those simple yet superb pleasures that can be enjoyed quickly and easily. Cultivating a happy heart takes no more than five minutes. The resultant delight will be neither complex nor complicated, but it will be profound and will serve as a reminder that there is always a reason to smile. So much that is ecstasy-inducing can be accomplished in five minutes. Alone, we can enjoy an aromatic cup of our favorite tea, take a stroll through the garden we have created, write about the day's events in a journal, doodle while daydreaming, or breathe deeply while we listen to the silence around us. In the company of a good friend or treasured relative, we can share a few silly jokes, enjoy a waltz around the room, play a fast-paced hand of cards, or reconnect through lighthearted conversation. The key is to first identify what makes us dizzyingly happy. If we do only what we believe should bring us contentment, our five minutes will not be particularly satisfying. When we allow ourselves the freedom to do whatever brings us pleasure, five minutes out of 14 wakeful hours can brighten our lives immeasurably. It is often when we have the least free time or energy to devote to joy that we need to unwind and enjoy ourselves the most. Making happiness a priority will help you find five minutes every day to indulge in the things that inspire elation within you. Eventually, your happiness breaks will become an established part of your routine. If you start by pursuing activities you already enjoy and then gradually think up new and different ways to fill your daily five minutes of happiness, you will never be without something to smile about. ****************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We hear often in The Program that pain is the touchstone of spiritual progress. We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism has to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. We no longer commiserate with all people who suffer, but only with those who suffer in ignorance — those who don’t understand the purpose of ultimate utility of pain. In Proust’s words, “To goodness and wisdom we make only promises; pain we obey.” Do I believe that pain is God’s way of trying to get my attention? Today I Pray May I understand that value of pain in my life, especially if I am headed breakneck down a track of self-destruction. May I know that pain is God’s way of flagging down the train I’m on before it gets to a bridge wash-oot. May I be thankful that pain forced me to throw the switch in time. Today I Will Remember Pain saves lives. ****************************** One More Day What next? Why ask? Next will come a demand about which you already know all you need to know: that it measures is your own strength. – Dag Hammarskyjol Life is full of demands; we know and expect that. Most of us wish we knew about them ahead of time, but it’s just not possible to prepare in advance for stress. Negative stressors like a flat tire of a severe illness and positive stressors like a family reunion are typical of the demands placed on us throughout our lives. Somehow, when these things happen, we manage to rise to the occasion. We may need to sue all our resources — physical and spiritual — to cope, but we usually find within ourselves the strength and enth7usiasm for the demands we face. By knowing that I will be able to handle life’s crises with deep inner strength, I need not ask myself “What’s Next? Anonymous ************************************************** ****************** Food For Thought Hungering Deep within us is a hunger, which is not satisfied by food. We hunger for love and fellowship with each other and we hunger for communion with our Higher Power. We were not made to be alone and isolated. Withdrawing into compulsive overeating makes the deep hunger even worse. As long as we are alive, we will never be fully satisfied. There will always be more love to give and receive and more steps to take on our spiritual journey. In this sense, we will always be hungry. Spiritual hunger is a good thing, as long as we recognize it for what it is and do not try to appease it with material substitutes. Our Higher Power has created us with a hunger, which He alone can satisfy. As our progress through the Twelve Steps brings us closer to Him and closer to each other, we experience a fulfillment, which we had not known before. We are learning to hunger for spirituality. Bless our hunger, we pray. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ABSTINENCE “It’s a funny thing about life. If you refuse to settle for anything less than the best, that’s what it will give you.” W. Somerset Maugham When I first came to program, I was in the diet mentality. After a few “slips” I had to face the facts: I was in relapse, and I had never really surrendered. With the help of the program, I gained an increasing awareness of this progressive disease. Did I really want to recover? Was I really willing to go to any lengths to find relief from compulsive eating? When I finally surrendered the food and began working the Steps, I didn’t know what to expect. All I knew was that food could no longer be the answer. With seven months’ abstinence, I now know that I have a long way to go in my recovery. However, one day at a time, I am willing to find my answers in the Steps instead of in the food. Thank you, Higher Power! One day at a time... I choose abstinence and will listen for God’s calling in my life. God’s will for me is the safest and most loving place I can be, and I know God wants me to live a life free from the compulsion to eat. ~ Christine S. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help. This we did because we honestly wanted to, and were willing to make the effort. - Pg. 25-26 - There Is A Solution Hour To Hour - Book - Quote There is the law of this physical earth which always leads to death and decay. It can be no other way in a material world. There is also the law of Spirit which leads to life and grace. Our addiction obeys the law of this earth plane, our recovery obeys the law of the Spirit. Please, Divine Source, as I understand You, guide me to the law of Spirit and recovery. Creating My Own Rituals Rituals ground me in my own day. My morning tea, my walk through the park, dinner with my family. These are the daily rituals that give my life a sense of continuity and solidity. They hold me, they bond me with those I love. Recovery is full of rituals. Meetings, daily reading, sharing with friends and quiet moments of self reflection. Rituals that deepen my sense of life and remind me of what's really important. They are part of what gives my life its symmetry. I need these rituals to help me remember what to value. And they join me with with life, with the feeling of what we're all really made of under the skin. Rituals speak in their own voice and today, I am listening. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.'~ Zen Proverb I don't have to understand how the Steps work, just that they do. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Pick them up, as long as they don't pick up. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I'm taking all the steps that I can for my recovery. My Higher Power is giving me all the guidance I need, and I am full of joy and gratitude that I am growing and healing today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I wouldn't put myself in situations where I can only have two drinks and then can't get anymore. Not because I'm an alcoholic. It's just sort of an intuitive thing with me. - Bob D.
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September 14
Daily Reflections PEACE OF MIND Do we lay the matter before our sponsor or spiritual adviser, earnestly asking God's help and guidance--meanwhile resolving to do the right thing when it becomes clear, cost what it may? TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p p. 86-87 My belief in a Higher Power is an essential part of my work on Step Nine; forgiveness, timing, and right motives are the other ingredients. My willingness to do the Step is a growing experience that opens the door for new and honest relationships with the people I have harmed. My responsible action brings me closer to the spiritual principles of the program -- love and service. Peace of mind, serenity, and a stronger faith are sure to follow. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day "How does A.A. grow? Some of us sell A.A. as we go about. Little clusters of twos and threes and fives keep springing up in different communities, through contact with the larger centers. Those of us who travel drop in at other groups as often as we can. This practice enables us to lend a hand to new groups which are springing up all over the land. New groups are being started each month. A.A. is even spreading outside the United States and is slowly becoming world-wide. Thus we grow." Am I doing all I can to spread A.A. wherever I go? Meditation For The Day "Lord we believe. Help Thou our unbelief." This cry of the human heart is an expression of human frailty. It signifies the soul's sincere desire for progress. As a person feels the existence of God and His power, that person believes in Him more and more. At the same time, a person is more conscious of his falling short of absolute trust in God. The soul's progress is an increasing belief, then a cry for more faith, a plea to conquer all unbelief, all lack of trust. We can believe that that cry is heard by God and that prayer is answered in due time. And so our faith grows, little by little, day by day. Prayer For The Day I pray that with more power in my life will come more faith. I pray that I may come to trust God more each day. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It A "Special" Experience?, p.256 I was the recipient of a tremendous mystic experience or "illumination," and at first it was very natural for me to feel that this experience staked me out as somebody very special. But as I look now back upon this tremendous event, I can only feel very grateful. It now seems clear that the only special features of my experience were its suddenness and the overwhelming and immediate conviction that it carried. In all other respects, however, I am sure that my own experience was essentially like that received by any A.A. member who has strenuously practiced our recovery program. Surely, the grace he receives is also of God; the only difference is that he becomes aware of his gift more gradually. Grapevine, July 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Am I getting too busy? Time Management. It's always risky when a recovering person gets too busy for meetings. It's also dangerous when business and personal concerns crowd out interest in the program. We should never deceive ourselves by thinking that we're somehow safe just because our time is filled with useful and interesting work. Many of us have a tendency to become addicted to "busy-ness". Though less destructive than drinking, this serves as an escape, just as alcohol did. The danger is that when the work no longer satisfies us, we'll find our lives becoming empty again. We could then be very vulnerable to taking a drink. We should never be too busy for the wonderful, constructive work of the program. Far from taking time away from our other actives, work in the program will enhance everything we do. I'll try to balance my activities today, making sure that I have time for the program. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple You must look into people, as well as at them. ---Lord Chesterfield When we were using alcohol and other drugs, we only looked at people. We treated them like objects. Often, we could only see how they helped us get high, or how they got in our way. Now we can see others as people. We look into them. We learn about their feelings and thoughts. We care about them. What a wonderful change! We are fully human again. We can have relationships. When we look into others, we see life. We see beauty, courage, hope and love. We see bits of ourselves and our Higher Power. What a miracle life is. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me be fully human today. Help me see You in others. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll look into someone. I’ll do this by having a talk with a friend. And I’ll really listen. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning What a strange pattern the shuttle of life can weave. --Frances Marion How shortsighted is our judgment about today's experiences! We'll see with clarity where they may lead us only after we've reached our destination. Of one thing we can be certain: Today's experiences, in concert with yesterday's and all that's gone before, are combining to weave an intricate life design, unique, purposeful, and for our ultimate good. We need not feel remorse over lost chances or unproductive behavior in the past. Our destination remains the same, and our arrival is guaranteed. Our actions and decisions are never wrong. We may veer off course for a time, but the design for our lives will pull us back on the track. The program is part of the design for our lives. It's helping us to stay on course. In fact, when we're working the Steps, we're at ease with our direction, and we trust the outcome of our efforts to the power of the program. We will add to the richness of our design, today, just as we have every day of our lives. We can anticipate today's experiences with an excited heart. There is something special going on in my life today. I will give everybody and every event my full attention. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Your prospect may belong to a religious denomination. His religious education and training may be far superior to yours. In that case he is going to wonder how you can add anything to what he already knows. But he well be curious to learn why his own convictions have not worked and why yours seem to work so well. He may be an example of the truth that faith alone is insufficient. To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action. Let him see that you are not there to instruct him in religion. Admit that he probably knows more about it than you do, but call to his attention the fact that however deep his faith and knowledge, he could not have applied it or he would not drink, Perhaps your story will help him see where he has failed to practice the very precepts he knows so well. We represent no particular faith or denomination. We are dealing only with general principles common to most denominations. pp. 93-94 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories MY BOTTLE, MY RESENTMENTS, AND ME - From childhood trauma to skid row drunk, this hobo finally found a Higher Power, bringing sobriety and a long-lost family. One scorching day, when I was in a desert town drinking, something unusual happened. I felt as though I had reached the point where I couldn't go on. To get away from everyone I managed to find some booze and started walking out into the desert, thinking, I'll just go until I die. Soon, so drunk I couldn't walk another step, I fell to the ground and moaned, "Oh, God! Please help me." I must have passed out because, hours later, I came to and found my way back to town. At the time I had no idea what made me change my mind about death. Today I know it was that my Higher Power took over my life. p. 441 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step One - "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable. " But upon entering A.A. we soon take quite another view of this absolute humiliation. We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built. p. 21 ************************************************** ********* "What helps me to go forward is that I stay receptive. I feel that anything can happen." --Anouk Aimee "No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched." --George Jean Nathan To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly. --Herni Bergson "Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to be happy under all outward circumstances." -- J. Donald Walters "A good laugh is sunshine in the house." -- William Makepeace Thackeray *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation MIDDLE-AGE "Middle-age is when you begin to smile at things that used to cause you to laugh." -- Anonymous Today I feel so young at heart. I love to laugh, I mean really laugh; I love to play and act silly in my life; I love discovering my "child" that comes out to give balance to my life. This was not always the case. Not too many yesterdays ago I was serious, depressed, affecting a smile that did not come from within. Alcoholism made me an unhappy man. Before I got sober my so called "high" had changed into a boring "low"! I was middle-aged before I was thirty. Today I feel younger than I did twenty years ago -- and it shows. You are what you drink. Today I am sober! Thank You for the gift of "play" in my life. ************************************************** ********* "Only believe." Mark 5:36 "For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration It is nice to have the things money can buy, but be sure that you don't lose the things money can't buy in the process. Lord, never let me forget who I am and that which truly means the most. When you have faith in yourself and God, you will know that you are loved and safe and never alone. Lord, I am these things because You are always with me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Secrets Are Reservations "Eventually we are shown that we must get honest, or we will use again." Basic Text p.82 Everyone has secrets, right? Some of us have little secrets, items that would cause only minor embarrassment if found out. Some of us have big secrets, whole areas of our lives cloaked in thick, murky darkness. Big secrets may represent a more obvious, immediate danger to our recovery. But the little secrets do their own kind of damage, the more insidious perhaps because we think they're "harmless!" Big or little, our secrets represent spiritual territory we are unwilling to surrender to the principles of recovery. The longer we reserve pieces of our lives to be ruled by self-will and the more vigorously we defend our "right" to hold onto them, the more damage we do. Gradually, the unsurrendered territories of our lives tend to expand, taking more and more ground. Whether the secrets in our lives are big or little, sooner or later they bring us to the same place. We must choose-either we surrender everything to our program, or we will lose our recovery. Just for today: I want the kind of recovery that comes from total surrender to the program. Today I will talk with my sponsor and disclose my secrets, big or small. pg. 268 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Something can't happen every day. You get up, go to work, come back, eat again, enjoy some leisure, go back to bed. Now that's plenty for most folks. --Ntozake Shange When we were all little kids, before we started school, the days felt so long it seemed like we had time for everything. But when we started school, we had to start living by the clock, and in this way, we became very grown up. Sometimes we feel angry about living by the clock, all of us who are first grade and older! But there are things we can do to help us live with these limits. First, we can learn to set a goal for each day, and once we have reached that goal--whether it's doing spelling homework, mopping the floor, or writing three business letters--we can announce to whoever happens to be around, "Now that I've completed that, I don't have to worry about one more thing to feel worthwhile." Second, we can believe what we said! We can relax, do something fun, enjoy the pleasures that the day offers. What is my goal for today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. When a person drowns himself in negative thinking he is committing an unspeakable crime against himself. --Maxwell Maltz Negative thoughts can rule our lives as compulsively as an addiction. The feelings of power we get from holding a dismal and gloomy outlook deprive us of the positive and pleasant parts of life. Some of us have said, "If I expect the worst, I won't be disappointed. If I think the worst about myself, no one else can cut me down." It is like taking a driving trip and looking only for trash and garbage in the ditches, ignoring the beauty beyond. Indeed, what we see may be real, but it is a very limited piece of the picture. When we have relied on negative thinking, it feels risky to give it up. We cannot do it in one day. We can begin by imagining ourselves with a more open attitude toward the world and ourselves. Then we can try it out as an experiment in little ways, with no commitment. Finally we reach the point where we can take a risk and entrust our Higher Power with the outcome. Today, I will experiment with hopeful and positive thoughts about what happens. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. What a strange pattern the shuttle of life can weave. --Frances Marion How shortsighted is our judgment about today's experiences! We'll see with clarity where they may lead us only after we've reached our destination. Of one thing we can be certain: Today's experiences, in concert with yesterday's and all that's gone before, are combining to weave an intricate life design, unique, purposeful, and for our ultimate good. We need not feel remorse over lost chances or unproductive behavior in the past. Our destination remains the same, and our arrival is guaranteed. Our actions and decisions are never wrong. We may veer off course for a time, but the design for our lives will pull us back on the track. The program is part of the design for our lives. It's helping us to stay on course. In fact, when we're working the Steps, we're at ease with our direction, and we trust the outcome of our efforts to the power of the program. We will add to the richness of our design, today, just as we have every day of our lives. We can anticipate today's experiences with an excited heart. There is something special going on in my life today. I will give everybody and every event my full attention. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. What's Good for Me? When we are soul searching, be it for the smaller or larger decisions we face during the day, we can learn to ask, is this good for me?... Is this what I really want?... Is this what I need?...Does this direction feel right for me?...or am I succumbing to the control and influence that I sometimes allow others to have over me? It is not unhealthy selfishness to question if something is good for us. That is an old way of thinking. To ask if something is good for us is a healthy behavior, not to be ashamed of, and will probably work out in the other person's best interests too. We shall not wander down a selfish path of self-indulgence by asking if a thing is good for us. We shall not stray from God's intended plan, God's highest good, by asking if a thing is good for us. By asking ourselves this simple question, we participate in directing our life toward the highest good and purpose; we own our power to hold ourselves in self-esteem. Today, I will begin acting in my best interests. I will do this with the understanding that, on occasion, my choices will not please everyone around me. I will do this with the understanding that asking if a thing is good for me will ultimately help me take true responsibility for my life and my choices. I am most grateful for the guidance I am receiving in my recovery. The more I open myself up to admitting I can't do it alone, the more I realize help is always there. --Ruth Fishel ****************************** Journey to the Heart There Is Power in Powerlessness Sometimes we can’t help ourselves. No matter how hard we try, no matter how deeply we feel we should be doing things differently, no matter how committed we are to personal responsibility, free will, self-actualization, and self-determination, sometimes we simply cannot help ourselves. We keep on doing the same old things. We can’t seem to change, even though we wish we could. It doesn’t mean we aren’t responsible, doesn’t mean we aren’t accountable. It means simply that for the present moment, we can’t change, can’t help ourselves, can’t do it differently. Many of us have discovered a truth in these moments. There is power even in powerlessness. There is power in admitting powerlessness. By voicing the problem, by accepting the powerlessness, you are bringing– attracting– help. Ask for the help you need. Admit and accept your powerlessness. Be gentle with yourself. You are not alone in your problem, your powerlessness, or your search for a solution. Let love lead the way to the answer you seek. ***** more language of letting go Affirm yourself When I began flying and skydiving, I found myself fumbling inadequately with new roles or parts of myself. When I began writing, I found myself fumbling with that part of myself. I want to be a writer, I'd think, but I'm not, at least not yet. I have to get this number of books published and this number of good reviews first. It can take years and many successes in any new area in our lives before we can confidently say to ourselves and others, I am. I am a sky diver. I am a pilot. I am a writer. Oh, the power of those words I am. You may not have much parenting experience if your first child was just born last week, but you are a mother. I didn't have my ten-year medallion yet, but on the first day of my recovery I could honestly say, "I'm a recovering addict and alcoholic." Who or what do you want to become? A good parent? A sober, recovering person? A good girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse? Do you want to become happy, peaceful, tolerant? Don't wait until you're successful to tell yourself you're that. Start now by saying you are what you want to become instead of reinforcing the words I'm not. Yes, you have much to learn. Yes, there's a way to go on that path. And you may not be proficient at it, or an expert, yet. But you don't have to be to say those little words I am. Help create the new part of your personality by using and affirming those powerful words I am. Then watch as a new part of yourself emerges. God, help me use my creative powers to create a better, more fulfilling life. Help me use the words I am to create who you and I want me to be. Activity: Create your own affirmations. We each have our own path to follow, we each have different needs at different times. Pick out one area of your life that you're working on. Then give yourself one affirmation that helps you create the new reality you're working hard to create. The first two words of the affirmation need to be I am. Say this affirmation out loud seven times while looking in the mirror. Do this three times a day, once in the morning, once midday, and once before retiring at night. Do this for twenty-one consecutive days, without missing one day-- or until you don't need to say it aloud anymore because you believe it. ***** Like a Small Town In a Hurry In the effort to keep up we are so busy rushing from point A to point B that we forget to enjoy the ride. Our lives have become increasingly fast-paced, and the effort to keep up often occupies all our time and attention. We are so busy rushing from point A to point B that we forget to enjoy the ride. We race to the store without noticing the leaves on the trees or the clouds in the sky. We go through the checkout line feeling too pressed to converse with the cashier or the other people in line. At the end of a day filled with this kind of frantic pace, we may begin to wonder what it is we do all these things for, if we don’t even have the time to occasionally stop and just take it all in. Always being rushed and in a hurry doesn’t allow time for the soul to enjoy life, which is composed of small, ordinary moments, like watching snow fall from the sky, having a spontaneous conversation with a stranger, or lingering over a meal for several hours. Small towns and the people who live in them can teach us all a thing or two about living life to the fullest as a daily matter. City people have a tendency to think that their lives are full because they are doing so many different things, but in a small town, there tends to be more time left open to be spontaneous or take an extended moment of rest. This certainly doesn’t mean that we can’t live in a city and enjoy life fully—we can and do; it just takes a little more awareness. One thing we can do, wherever we live, is bring awareness breaks into our day and take 10 minutes to simply look out the window and observe what’s happening outside. We might also choose to cultivate a relationship with someone we see regularly, such as a clerk at the convenience mart, a neighbor, or someone we see in the elevator at work. Taking time to have a conversation that is not necessary is a true luxury in this day and age, as is staring out the window. Participating in these acts of timelessness makes the biggest city in the world start to feel a little bit more like a small town. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Until we came to The Program, our lives had been spent running from pain and problems. Escape by way of alcohol or other chemicals was always our temporary solution. Then we started going to meetings. We looked and listened, often with amazement. Everywhere around us, we saw failure and misery transformed by humility into priceless assets. To those who’ve made progress in The Program, humility is simply a clear recognition of what and who we really are — followed by a sincere attempt to become what we could be. Is The Program showing me what I could be? Today I Pray I pray for humility, which is another word for perspective, a level look at the real me and where I stand in relation to God and other people. May I be grateful to humility; it is the processing plant through which my raw hurts and ragged delusions are refined into new courage and sensitivities. Today I Will Remember Humility restores my “sight”. ****************************** One More Day I loaf and invite my soul, I lean and loaf at my ease observing a spear of summer grass. –Walt Whitman Sometimes we may have wished we could be like Aladdin and have three wishes. We might have even made mental lists of the things we could ask for. We know that just having material possessions is not a guarantee for happiness. We know there has to be a purpose to life beyond wealth, a reason to get out of bed each morning. Whatever our walk of life, whatever our state of health, we all need to feel worthwhile. We can’t rub magic lanterns, but we can create important reasons for living, such as a paid job, volunteer work, gardening or another hobby, or just plain relaxing. Idleness is sometimes good for improving our attitude. The power of relaxation is a strong reason to keep me from becoming stressed. ************************************************** ***************** Food For Thought Emptiness When we were overeating, we felt empty inside no matter how much we ate. Now that we are abstaining, we may still experience periods of feeling empty. This emptiness is especially likely to occur after an occasion to which we have looked forward with much anticipation. Perhaps we expect too much from a person or an event and feel let down when reality falls short of our anticipation. Perhaps we find ourselves with a group of people whose conversation is superficial and relationships are phony. Putting on a mask and keeping it in place for any length of time leaves us feeling drained and empty. Without honest, meaningful contact with other people, we are emotionally undernourished. In order to have the mutually nurturing relationships we need, our false fronts have to be abandoned. Through this program, we learn to seek out the kinds of people and activities that fill us and to avoid those that leave us empty Fill my emptiness, Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time SLOW SUICIDE “He who does not use his endeavors to heal himself is brother to him who commits suicide.” Solomon Rather than a regular, sudden suicide, I have subtly entertained the idea of slow suicide. I have neglected myself: my health, my vision and my gifts. I have either taken actions that have harmed me, or I have neglected to take actions that would have helped me to live a longer and more productive life. I have stuffed my face with garbage, accepting that as my fate. Today I have a program that teaches me that I can’t take care of myself alone and that I can, and will, receive help. I accept that help with humility, taking the Steps I am shown and using the tools I am offered. I begin to see that I have something to offer others and my life takes on new meaning and purpose. One day at a time... I pray that I will say “yes” to my own life today, and take actions which represent that “yes.” ~ Q ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks -- drinks which they see others taking with impunity. - Pg. xxix - 4th. Edition - The Doctor's Opinion Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Letting go of the past and the present is to admit powerlessness. This means that the outcome is not in your hands. All I can do is the best I can do. I know that the results are in the hands of my Higher Power. Staying Calm Peace begins with me. I need to remember that emotions run high during recovery. My joys are higher and my longings are stronger. The world is more intense than it usually is. When I forget this, I start to feel out of step if I'm not where I think I should be, I compare my insides with everybody else's outsides and use that to make myself wrong. I want to push away my inner world and I get a little afraid of what I'm experiencing if it doesn't fit my image what I'm supposed to be feeling. Then I engage in a cover up, only the person I am covering up is me. When I do that, I am only half there. Today I will let myself have my full range of feelings, knowing that they may, at times, be a bit of a roller coaster, but knowing also, that I will land comfortably at the end of the ride. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote They say that you need only one meeting a week but it might be a good idea to go to one every night so you don't miss the one you need! Seven days without a meeting makes one weak. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book The people you hang with are the people you hang with. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am most grateful for the guidance I am receiving in my recovery. The more I open myself up to admitting I can't do it alone, the more I realize help is always there. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I'm not the type who came out of blackouts screaming: Cover me I'm going in! I came out at the dry cleaners with the assistant saying; 'Boxed...or wrapped?' With an expression which said that he'd been asking this for some time and hadn't had any response - What do you say? 'Could you repeat that? I just got here myself.' - Charlie C.
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September 15
Daily Reflections A NEW LIFE Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous . . . . Life will mean something at last. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 152 Life is better without alcohol. A.A. and the presence of a Higher Power keeps me sober, but the grace of God does even better; it brings service into my life. Contact with the A.A. program teaches me a new and greater understanding of what Alcoholics Anonymous is and what it does, but most importantly, it helps to show me who I am: an alcoholic who needs the constant experience of the Alcoholics Anonymous program so that I may live a life given to me by my Higher Power. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day "We all realize that we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to all of us. Ask Him in your morning meditations what you can do today for the person who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. See to it that your relationship with God is right and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. Give freely of what you find in A.A. But, obviously, you cannot transmit something which you haven't got. So make a life-study of A.A." Am I always looking for ways of presenting the A.A. Program? Meditation For The Day "In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.: Confidence means to have faith in something. We could not live without confidence in others. When you have confidence in God's grace, you can face whatever comes. When you have confidence in God's love, you can be serene and at peace. You can rest in the faith that God will take care of you. Try to rest in God's presence until His life-power flows through you. Be still and in that stillness the still, small Voice will come. It speaks in quietness to the human mind that is attuned to its influence. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may find strength today in quietness. I pray that I may be content today that God will take care of me. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Key to Sobriety, p.257 The unique ability of each A.A. to identify himself with, and bring recovery to, the newcomer in no way depends upon his learning, his eloquence, or any special individual skills. The only thing that matters is that he is an alcoholic who has found a key to sobriety. ******************************** In my first conversation with Dr. Bob, I bore down heavily on the medical hopelessness of his case, freely using Dr. Silkworth's words of describing the alcoholic's dilemma, the "obsession plus allergy" theme. Though Bob was a doctor, this was news to him, bad news. And the fact that I was an alcoholic and knew what I was talking about from personal experience made the blow a shattering one. You see, our talk was a completely mutual thing. I had quit preaching. I knew that I needed this alcoholic as much as he needed me. 1. 12 & 12, pp. 150-151 2. A.A. Comes Of Age, pp. 69-70 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Seeking Our Own Harmony Our feelings will often serve as good guides in determining what course of action we ought to follow. If there is a persistent feeling of discomfort about any situation, we should ask ourselves why we are feeling this way. Perhaps it’s because we are involved with people or activities that are not right for us. In the same way, we will feel drawn to certain people and activities. This is undoubtedly because we’re in tune with these people or activities. In such circumstances, we can say that we are “seeking our own.” With our unique temperaments and abilities, we fit better in certain places and with certain groups of people than others. We are indeed fortunate if we find that recovery in a Twelve Step program is a case of seeking and finding our own. This must certainly strengthen and enhance our program. I'll seek out only the people and activities that seem to belong in my life. If I do not belong in one situation, this merely means that a better one is available somewhere. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Often the test of courage is not to die but to live.---Vittorio Alfiert What brave people we are! We have chosen life. Okay, maybe we had a little push, maybe a big push from our family, police, or the pain of our disease. But still, we’ve chosen recovery. We choose daily to let our Higher Power run our lives. What trust! What faith! What courage! We work hard at recovery. We do our meditate. We look for ways to serve others. Each one of us is building a miracle. We can be proud of this. Prayer for the Day: I pray that I’ll have the courage to love myself. High Power, teach me to pat myself on the back when I deserve it. Action for the Day: I will list three ways I am brave in recovery and share them with my group. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning When our myths, dreams, and ideals are shattered, our world topples. --Kathleen Casey Thiesen The act of "becoming" topples our world, and rightly so. We outgrow yesterday's ideals, and we have begun realizing, in our unfolding, the dreams of last year. Now new dreams call us. Recovery has toppled our world. Hallelujah! In our abstinence, each day offers us fresh opportunities to "create" new realities to replace the outworn, outgrown myths of the using days. But letting go of the old takes patience, persistence, and strength. The old comforted us, when there was little else. Perhaps we need reminding that were it not for the shattered myths of last year or last week, we'd not be progressing, unfolding, as the bigger picture calls us. We have a part to play in this life, as do our sisters, our friends, our children. New dreams and ideals will lead us on our way. Old dreams served us yesterday, and the past is gone. They can't direct our present. I will look with excitement at my toppling world. It signifies growth - intellectual, emotional and spiritual. Old ideals will bind me--I will dare to dream new dreams and go where they lead with confidence. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Outline the program of action, explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him. It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your recovery. Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him. Make it plain he is under no obligation to you, that you hope only that he will try to help other alcoholics when he escapes his own difficulties. Suggest how important it is that he place the welfare of other people ahead of his own. Make it clear that he is not under pressure, that he needn’t see you again if he doesn’t want to. You should not be offended if he wants to call it off, for he has helped you more than you have helped him. If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human understanding, you have perhaps made a friend. Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism. This is all to the good. The more hopeless he feels, the better. he will be more likely to follow your suggestions. p. 94 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories MY BOTTLE, MY RESENTMENTS, AND ME - From childhood trauma to skid row drunk, this hobo finally found a Higher Power, bringing sobriety and a long-lost family. By this time I was so wild-eyed and filthy, people would shy away from me. I hated the look of fear on their faces when they saw me. They looked at me as if I were not human, and maybe I wasn't. In one large city I took to sleeping on the grates with a piece of plastic over me so I wouldn't freeze. One night I found a clothing drop box I could get into; it made a nice warm place to sleep and I could get new clothes in the morning. In the middle of the night someone threw in more clothes. I opened the top, looked out and shouted, "Thanks!" That woman threw up her hands and ran away screaming, "Lordy, Lordy!" She jumped in her car and screeched off. p. 441 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step One - "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable. " We know that little good can come to any alcoholic who joins A.A. unless he has first accepted his devastating weakness and all its consequences. Until he so humbles himself, his sobriety--if any--will be precarious. Of real happiness he will find none at all. Proved beyond doubt by an immense experience, this is one of the facts of A.A. life. The principle that we shall find no enduring strength until we first admit complete defeat is the main taproot from which our whole Society has sprung and flowered. pp. 21-22 ************************************************** ********* "When your life is filled with the desire to see the holiness in everyday life, something magical happens: ordinary life becomes extraordinary, and the very process of life begins to nourish your soul!" --Rabbi Harold Kushner "He who laughs, lasts." --Mary Pettibone Poole If there is any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it, and not deter or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again. --William Penn A L C O H O L I C S = A Life Consisting Of Helping Others Live Is Called Sobriety. I have learned that my actions are far more important than my thoughts. "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." --Melody Beattie "The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for." --Zig Ziglar *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation NONSENSE "We find it hard to believe that other people's thoughts are as silly as our own, but they probably are." -- James Harvey Robinson Today I am able to laugh at myself. I even "think" funny things. I sit at airports and look at the faces, postures and mannerisms of the people passing by and I smile, giggle and laugh in my handkerchief. Then I think about what a funny man I am -- so ridiculously proud, so pompous about the silliest things, so preoccupied about my own importance -- and it is funny. Yes, today I am able to laugh at myself. I know that people are funny because I know I am. At meetings I hear people laughing about the day's insanities and I can always identify. Even my relationships are humorous. I try so hard to make a good impression while at the same time offering the effect of detachment -- trying to be "cool". God must have a sense of humor because He made you and me! Thank You for the gift of humor -- it allows true humility to develop. ************************************************** ********* "What is impossible with man is possible with God." Luke 18:27 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. James 1:19-20 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life--in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. Philippians 2:12-16 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Every day renew your purpose because without purpose your life will be empty. Lord, grant that I am able to truly see the worth and value of my existence and know that my presence does make a difference. The value of each gift God gives us is doubled when we share it with someone else. Lord, may I freely give without expectation of something in return even though I know Your constant generosity. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Filling The Emptiness "..we think that if we can just get enough food, enough sex, or enough money, we'll be satisfied and everything will be alright." Basic Text p.77 In our addiction, we could never get enough drugs, or money, or sex, or anything else. Even too much was never enough! There was a spiritual emptiness inside us. Though we tried as hard as we could to fill that emptiness ourselves, we never succeeded. In the end, we realized that we lacked the power to fill it; it would take a Power greater than ourselves to do that. So we stopped using, and we stopped trying to fill the emptiness in our gut with things. We turned to our Higher Power, asking for its care, strength, and direction. We surrendered and made way for that Power to begin the process of filling our inner void. We stopped grabbing things and started receiving the free gift of love our Higher Power had for us. Slowly, our inner emptiness was being filled. Now that we've been given our Higher Power's gift of love, what do we do with it? If we clasp that gift tightly to ourselves, we will smother it. We must remember that love grows only when it is shared. We can only keep this gift by freely giving it away. The world of addiction is a world of taking and being taken; the world of recovery is a world of giving and being given. In which world do we choose to live? Just for today: I choose to live in the fullness of recovery. I will celebrate my conscious contact with the God of my understanding by freely sharing with others that which has been freely shared with me. pg. 269 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. He felt frightened at being different from his brothers and sisters. It scared him to be different. --E. B. White How ugly and wrong it makes us feel to be different: to be tall when others are short, slow when others are fast, black when others are white. The miracle, and paradox, is that everyone is different--and that is what makes us all the same. When we think honestly about the people we admire--friends, sports heros, actors, musicians, parents, teachers, employers--we know that all of them, as human beings, not heroes, have felt out of place in their lives, probably many times. Believing we are alone or different cuts us off from others. Climbing over that protective wall of "differentness" is scary, but it is guaranteed to set us free. How can I let go of my "differentness" today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. When people are loving, brave, truthful, charitable, God is present. --Harold Kushner For many of us, our spiritual awakening began when we first heard our Higher Power might be our group. We learned that God may exist in the connections between people in our group just as well as within each individual. As we members exchange care and help with each other, as each struggles to achieve complete honesty and wrestles bravely with old temptations, God is truly in our midst. Closeness flourishes because we felt so alone but then found friends who suffered in similar ways. It is an expression of a spirit beyond our rational control, When we ask another member to listen to us, we contribute to the strength of this spirit. When we give someone a ride to a meeting or spread the word about this program to other suffering men and women, we make a contribution and receive its benefits. Even now, if we need a renewal of confidence in God's presence in our lives, we can telephone another member and just talk. We will quickly sense the spirit. Today, I am grateful to feel God's presence in my life and within the people around me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. When our myths, dreams, and ideals are shattered, our world topples. --Kathleen Casey Thiesen The act of "becoming" topples our world, and rightly so. We outgrow yesterday's ideals, and we have begun realizing, in our unfolding, the dreams of last year. Now new dreams call us. Recovery has toppled our world. Hallelujah! In our abstinence, each day offers us fresh opportunities to "create" new realities to replace the outworn, outgrown myths of the using days. But letting go of the old takes patience, persistence, and strength. The old comforted us, when there was little else. Perhaps we need reminding that were it not for the shattered myths of last year or last week, we'd not be progressing, unfolding, as the bigger picture calls us. We have a part to play in this life, as do our sisters, our friends, our children. New dreams and ideals will lead us on our way. Old dreams served us yesterday, and the past is gone. They can't direct our present. I will look with excitement at my toppling world. It signifies growth - intellectual, emotional and spiritual. Old ideals will bind me--I will dare to dream new dreams and go where they lead with confidence. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Getting Through Hard Times We are sturdy beings. But in many ways, we are fragile. We can accept change and loss, but this comes at our own pace and in our own way. And only God and we can determine the timing. --Codependent No More Hard times, stressful times, are not all there is to life, but they are part of life, growth, and moving forward. What we do with hard times, or hard energy, is our choice. We can use the energy of hard times to work out, and work through, our issues. We can use it to fine-tune our skills and our spirituality. Or we can go through these situations suffering, storing up bitterness, and refusing to grow or change. Hard times can motivate and mold us to bring out our best. We can use these times to move forward and upward to higher levels of living, loving, and growth. The choice is ours. Will we let ourselves feel? Will we take a spiritual approach, including gratitude, toward the event? Will we question life and our Higher Power by asking what we're supposed to be learning and doing? Or will we use the incident to prove old, negative beliefs? Will we say, "Nothing good ever happens to me... I'm just a victim... People can't be trusted... Life isn't worth living"? We do not always require hard energy, or stress, to motivate us to grow and change. We do not have to create stress, seek it, or attract it. But if it's there, we can learn to channel it into growth and use it for achieving what's good in life. God, let my hard times be healing times. Today I'm willing to take responsibility for my own life. I am willing to grow up and let go of my parents. I am filled with the sense of my own power and I choose not to give it away. --Ruth Fishel ****************************** Journey To The Heart Heal Your Broken Heart I lay on the cot in the bathhouse at the mineral springs. I was wrapped from head to toe in a woolen blanket. As I lay there, the blanket covering my face. I could almost feel each break line in my heart. I could feel the fractures in a way I hadn’t before. I knew then that healing my heart was one of the purposes of this journey. Your heart may have been broken many times. Some breaks hurt more than others, but each break caused a fracture, a weakness in your ability and willingness to love, trust, and heal. Don’t shut down. Don’t go away. Don’t tell yourself, My pain is not important. I’m stronger than that. That’s just the way life is. Those are all lies we tell ourselves, lies to hide the pain of the break. The smallest betrayal unexpressed, at least to ourselves, can cause damage to our hearts. Willingness is the key– willingness to feel all we need to feel, willingness to heal, to love again. As you go deeper into your journey, deeper into your joy, go deeper into your heart. Mend and heal all those tiny breaks lines, all the fractures, all the cracks. As you go deeper into joy, you will go deeper into your pain, your grief, your losses. Don’t be afraid. That doesn’t mean you’ll return to despair or that you will live forever in grief and anguish. Take the time now to mend the break lines. Go deep within your heart to help it heal. Bury the broken dreams. Release the hurts. Acknowledge the betrayals. And then lightly, gently, with love, rub a golden layer of forgiveness and love around your heart. There comes a time in the journey to the heart when it is time to let it heal. The deeper we go into the healing, the freer we will be, the more we will know what we feel, and the more we will feel joy. ***** more language of letting go You are a work of art All the arts we practice are apprenticeship. The big art is our life. --M.C. Richards What you do is not who you are. You are more, much more, than that. It's easy to get so caught up in what we do that we're only identifying ourselves through our daily tasks. I am a mechanic. I am a parking lot attendant. I am a doctor. I am a dishwasher. When we link ourselves too closely to our jobs, we deny ourselves the chance to ever be anything else. We limit ourselves by believing that's all we are and all we'll ever be. Our concept of who we are is one of the hardest, but most rewarding ideas we can change. If you have been brought up believing that you are clumsy, you will probably demonstrate this belief in your actions-- until you identify that idea, let go of it, and let yourself be something else. Don't limit yourself by saying you are just what you do. Stop seeing yourself as a static being. If I am "just" a parking lot attendant, then how can I hope to ever influence someone through my words, my art, my music, my life? But if I am a vital, living, growing, soul who happens to be parking people's cars, then everything I do can become a symphony. I can have an influence for good in the lives of everyone I touch. I can learn from them, and they from me. I can learn the lessons that I am supposed to learn at this place in my life, and I can move on to other lessons. God gave us the power to change. You're more than what you do. You're a vital vibrant soul that came here to experience, grow, and change. Make a masterpiece out of your life. God, help me realize the glory of my soul. Thank you for my mortality and for the ability to learn and grow. ***** Healthful Slumber The Importance of Sleep When life gets busy, sleep is often the first activity that we sacrifice. Considered a luxury by many busy people, sleep is actually as vital to sustaining a balanced life as are breathing, eating, and drinking. Getting sufficient sleep can be a potent energizer, just as not getting enough sleep can leave you feeling drained and sluggish. While eight hours is the average amount of sleep most adults should generally aim for, the right amount of sleep varies for each person. Some people may thrive on just four hours, while others don’t feel well rested unless they’ve slept for ten hours. How much we sleep also varies, depending upon where we are in life. Young people often need more sleep, while older people may need less. But the benefits of sleep always stay the same. Regular and consistent periods of wakefulness and sleep are key ingredients to fostering a healthy body and a clear mind. It is during sleep that your body renews itself. Often, the ability to forgo sleep is considered by some to be an asset. But while it may seem that the nighttime hours can be better used for more productive activities, sleep in itself is extremely productive. During sleep, your body and psyche are both regaining their strength for the coming day. You may have the unique opportunity to explore the hidden recesses of your personality while you are dreaming. Meanwhile, your long-term memories are reinforced. Many cultures engage in an afternoon siesta. Taking a nap is refreshing and can increase both productivity and creativity. Many famous writers and artists have looked toward their dreams as a source of inspiration. Lewis Carroll is said to have conceived his idea for Alice in Wonderland while dreaming. The expression “sleeping on it” is more than just a saying. Answers to problems can come in your sleep and present themselves to your wide-awake self in the morning. The ancient Greeks valued sleep so significantly, they believed it was a gift from the gods. When you sleep well, you will awaken feeling alert, refreshed, and ready for life’s challenges. Getting enough sleep will ensure that you are centered, thoughtful, and aware throughout the day so you can live your full potential. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day No one welcomes pain with open arms, but it does have its uses. Just as physical pain serves as a warning that we may be suffering a bodily illness, so can emotional pain be a useful sign that something is wrong — as well as a warning that we need to make a change. When we can meet pain with the cause of the hurt, rather than running away as we did when we were actively addicted. Can I bear some emotional discomfort? Am I less fragile than I once had believed? Today I Pray I pray I may be better able to face hurt or pain, now that I am getting to know reality — good and bad. I sincerely pray that the super-sensitivity of my addictive days will disappear, that people will not feel they must treat me like blown glass, which could shatter at a puff of criticism. Today I Will Remember Throw away my stamp: “Fragile Handle With Care.” ****************************** One More Day A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject. – Winston Churchill Nearly everyone who has ever under gone a time of high stress has an intense need to talk about it. A person who has lost someone close may talk almost constantly about it. People who are admitting that they must deal with chronic pain often feel the same need. We can and should expect our friends to allow us the comfort of talking about our feelings and experiences. As people who are suffering from pain and who are often driven to recount an illness’ history, we need to realize there is a point at which people no longer want to listen — they may want to leave instead. We must work — harder than we ever have before — to build a well-balanced life that has some happy or humorous stories to share. I will leave room in my conversations for stories that make me and my friends feel good. ************************************************** ****************** Food For Thought Peace Our mental obsession with food gave us little peace. The refined sugars and carbohydrates, which we craved, left us jangled and over stimulated. Our guilt and self-hate kept us in a state of fear and turmoil. We raced about frantically in our minds trying to think of a way out of our misery. Abstaining from refined sugar and carbohydrates gives us physical peace. Our body is no longer in an uproar; it is functioning calmly and efficiently. The Twelve Steps of recovery free us from the mental obsession with food and bring about emotional and spiritual peace. The more control we relinquish to our Higher Power, the more peace He gives us. The peace, which comes through working our program, is not stagnant – it is rich and creative. It is the peace, which results from an ordered life and confidence in God. Instead of going in circles, both physically and mentally, we move in measured progress along the path, which our Higher Power shows us step by step each day. Thank You for peace. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ STEP SIX ~ The Spiritual lift, the nearness to our Creator that is experienced from humble invocation of His help, and our willingness to be freed from old willfull thoughts and habits are essential to successful attainment of these steps. The Little Red Book I am a compulsive overeater. I eat three moderate meals each day without exception. In between, I have nothing except sugar-free gum, water, diet soda, and black coffee. Today I am working hard to allow my Higher Power to remove my imperfections. The focus is on the removal of blame, resentment, fear, and self-pity. I want to blame. I do resent. I have a lot of fear, but with surrender it is not paralyzing. I easily feel sorry for myself and cry about it. All of this threatens my abstinence, which is about sanity. The weight loss is an extra reward. The ability to approach responsibilities and feelings is the life force which I cannot take for granted. When food was my higher power it was hell. I take my disease and recovery seriously. It's choosing life over slow, torturous death. All my problems are the same, yet somehow they are livable. Continually asking for removal of my defects results in a decrease of anxiety. I believe fully that my Higher Power will remove my problems in a time and way which I have no control over, as long as I remain willing. Today I am completely willing. I am grateful to have been chosen for recovery. One day at a time... I can eat three weighed, measured and committed meals without exception. I enjoy my meals and feel satisfied by them. ~ Ellen ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. 'How can I best serve Thee - Thy will ( not mine ) be done.' These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will. - Pg. 85 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Our disease is NOT the drug, it is a system malfunction in the person. This malfunction is in the brain (neurochemistry), in the mind (irrationality), and in the spirit (immorality). Only by healing all three do we have any hopes of recovering. May I understand that I am not fighting the chemicals that made me sick, I am fighting the malfunctions that make me want to use them. Giving Back Today I give something to the community of people in which I find myself. I look around me and wonder what I might add to the world, to someone else's day and I do it. I recognize that giving and receiving are one channel, that when I open my heart to give, I simultaneously open it to receive as well. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Egotism is that certain something that enables a man in a rut to think he's in a groove. I am never in a rut when I can answer this question, 'What Step am I working now?' "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book United We Stand- Divided We Stagger. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I'm willing to take responsibility for my own life. I am willing to grow up and let go of my parents. I am filled with the sense of my own power and I choose not to give it away. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote There are not too many people too stupid to get this program but there have been a lot too clever. - Unknown origin.
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![]() "No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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