Today's Thought - March

[bluidkiti]

March 1

Avoiding Anxiety

Entertaining hope means recognizing fear.

~Robert Browning

We are taught early in recovery not to be afraid of anxiety. It is a normal part of all lives. It can’t be stopped or gotten rid of.

We can only deal with anxiety by facing it. It is a vital life force that alerts us that something is wrong with our living patterns. As we act and react to anxiety, we build an ability for thinking through solutions carefully rather than making snap judgments. That way, anxiety helps us learn that we must face our problems.

We eagerly work through anxieties instead of ignoring them. Then they don’t get bigger. This also helps us with our spiritual growth because we learn to do what we can to face the cause of our anxiety. Then we turn the rest over to our Higher Power. Real peace is not a lack of problems. Real peace comes from facing up to challenges.

Anxiety tells me there is a problem, so I can face it, and learn and grow from dealing with it.

[bluidkiti]

March 2

The hardness of God is kinder than the softness of men, and his compulsion is our liberation.

~C. S. Lewis

One reason it’s so hard for us to love others as God loves us is that we have no standard in our own experience to go by. The closest thing to a human standard is the ideal love of a parent for a child. God’s love exceeds that. The kind of love that God offers us is beyond our comprehension. It is unconditional. We know this because of the innumerable times we have betrayed God, gone back on our own word, and cursed God—only to be welcomed back whenever we’re ready, and to find ourselves blessed and comforted.

Someone said, “God has to love us; it’s His job.” Our program has taught us our “job” is to love others unconditionally, too. We don’t have to understand God’s love; it’s impossible. But if we are to find peace, we do have to try our best to imitate it.

Today I will try my best to love others unconditionally, as God does.

[bluidkiti]

March 3

On occasion l realize it's easier to say the serenity prayer and take that leap of faith than it is to continue doing what I'm doing.

~S.H.

The pain of change is a reality. But so is the pain of no change—when change is called for. In spite of our de*sires. changing others will never be an option, whereas changing ourselves takes only a decision and is a choice always available.

We can take an inventory for a moment. What are we presently doing that makes us ashamed or angry or fearful? We can let go of that behavior and responsibly choose a new tack. If strength is needed, or confidence to try a new behavior, we can simply ask that it be ours. The Third Step promises that our lives are in God's care and our needs are always being attended to—not always our wants, but in every instance our needs.

Most of our struggles, today as in the past, are attached to persons and situations we are trying to forcibly control. How righteous our attitudes generally are! And so imposing is our behavior that we are met with resistance, painful resistance. Our recourse is now and always to accept those things we cannot change, and willingly change that which we can. Our personal struggles will end when we are fully committed to the Serenity Prayer.

The wisdom to know the difference is mine today.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

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March 4

My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.

~Clarence Budington Kelland

The most powerful teaching is done by example. We all have strong feelings about our fathers and what we learned or didn’t learn from them. Some of us have fathers who stand as great examples of how we would like to live. Some of us have fathers who are negative examples that we want to avoid. Some of us never got to know our fathers. For most of us, it is a complicated mixture of all those things.

Now, as we continue to grow and change in adulthood, we are faced with growing beyond what our parents taught us, both the good and the bad. We need to forge ahead and become our own growing version of adult men. There are many men who can serve as examples to us; some of them were in our past, and some of them are now friends and mentors. Sometimes the example is unconscious. It is always helpful to notice who we admire, who sets an example that we would like to follow. Take the best of what they have to offer and leave the rest.

Today, I am grateful for what I received from my father and from all the other men who have set examples in my life.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

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March 5

AA Thought for the Day

When we were drinking, we used to be ashamed of the past. Remorse is terrible mental punishment: ashamed of ourselves for the things we’ve said and done, afraid to face people because of what they might think of us, afraid of the consequences of what we did when we were drunk. In AA we forget about the past. Do I believe that God has forgiven me for everything I’ve done in the past, no matter how horrible it was, provided I’m honestly trying to do the right thing today?
Meditation for the Day

God’s spirit is all around you all day long. You have no thoughts, no plans, no impulses, no emotions that He does not know about. You can hide nothing from Him. Do not make your conduct conform only to that of the world and do not depend on the approval or disapproval of others. God sees in secret, but He rewards openly. If you are in harmony with the Divine Spirit, doing your best to live the way you believe God wants you to live, you will be at peace.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may always feel God’s presence. I pray that I may realize this Presence constantly all through the day.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

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March 6

There is a proper balance between not asking enough of oneself and asking or expecting too much.

~May Sarton

The boy's mother baked pies that morning before he was up. She left them on the back porch to cool, their warm aroma curling up through his bedroom window. His mouth was full of the smell when he woke.

Before she left for work, she said, "You may do any* thing you want today, anything at all. Except for one thing—don't step in those pies."

All day the boy could not get the pies out of his mind; his feet itched just thinking about them.

Don't step in those pies. He heard her voice inside his head. By late afternoon he could control it no longer. One, two, three, four, five six-his foot fell squarely into the middle of each pie.

When we expect the worst from others, we often get just that. The same goes for our expectations of ourselves. And when we trust others, it too is returned.

Do I expect the best of others—and myself—today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

[bluidkiti]

March 7

To make the world a friendly place,
One must show it a friendly face.

~James Whitcomb Riley

We are beginning to learn that we get what we expect. Why? If we believe that people are out to get us, we’ll not treat them well. We will think it’s okay to “get them” before they “get us.” Then, they’ll be angry and want to get even. And on it goes.

It’s great when we can meet the world with a balance. We are now honest people. We can expect others to be fair with us. We get the faith, strength, and courage to do this because of our trust in our Higher Power.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me to find reminders today that the world can be a friendly place. I will put my best face forward and hope that my good energy will be reflected back.
Action for the Day

Today I’ll spread friendliness. I will greet people with a smile.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

[bluidkiti]

March 8

I shall tell you a great secret, my friend. Do not wait for the last judgment. It takes place every day.

~Albert Camus

We live our program in one-day portions—and our actions today have immediate consequences. For instance, if we listen to a brother or a sister in the program, we may be enriched and the other person strengthened for today’s challenge. We don’t have to confront every temptation of life on this day—only the portion we can handle. Our old insanity would have us predict the entire story of our future from today’s limited viewpoint. But our spiritual orientation guides us to restrain ourselves. We simply live in this moment.

The rewards of recovery are granted every day. We begin with the gift of a new day and new possibilities. We now have relationships that sustain us through difficulty and give us reason to celebrate. We have a new feeling of self-respect and hope.

I am grateful for the rewards of each day in my spiritual awakening.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

[bluidkiti]

March 9

Accepting ourselves

Many of us used to think that our Higher Power hates this or that about us or about others, but our Higher Power doesn’t hate at all. Our Higher Power accepts us and loves us no matter how we have lived. It understands that we are capable of changing.

This is the only way we come to know our Higher Power, even as we begin to accept ourselves and others. The ability to accept ourselves more and more is a gift. It comes as we build upon the strong, valuable parts of ourselves.

Am I learning to accept myself?

Higher Power, help me believe in your acceptance, forgiveness, and generosity; help me to be willing to see myself in a new way.

Today I will work on self-acceptance by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

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March 10

Reflection for the Day

Few of us are entirely free from a sense of guilt. We may feel guilty because of our words or actions, or for things left undone. We may even feel guilty because of irrational or false accusations by others. When I’m troubled by a gnawing feeling of guilt, obviously I can’t put into my day all I’m capable of. So I must rid myself of guilt—not by pushing it aside or ignoring it, but by identifying it and correcting the cause. Have I finally begun to learn to “Keep it simple”?
Today I Pray

May I learn not to let myself be “guilted”—made to feel guilty when I don’t consider that I am. Since I doubtless have the dregs of guilt left over from my behavior, I do not need the extra burden of unreasonable blame laid on me. I count on my Higher Power to help me sort out and get rid of these twinges and pangs of guilt, which, whether justified or not, need to be recognized and unloaded.
Today I Will Remember

The verdict of guilty is not for life.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People

[bluidkiti]

March 11

Secrets keep us walled in.

False pride keeps us stuck in old behavior and unnecessary pain. Why is it so hard to acknowledge who we really are? Do we think it’s a secret? We can be assured that admitting our failings to another person and to God, as suggested by the Fifth Step, won’t be startlingly new information to either.

Until we have done this Step we cannot fathom the relief we will feel. Our secrets have constricted us. Our obsession with them has stolen our peace of mind and our creativity. We are much more than our defects, but we can’t see that until we have unburdened ourselves of them.

After revealing it all, we see that we’re not so different from everyone else. The person we’ve chosen to hear our Fifth Step doesn’t bat an eye at even the worst of our transgressions. Any expectation we might have had that God would punish us vanishes. We know now that God has always known who we are. And we are coming to believe that we have been loved unconditionally all along.

Why am I so afraid of telling who I really am? I’ll take a chance by telling someone at least one small secret today and see what happens.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own, Meditations on Hope and Acceptance

[bluidkiti]

March 12

Everything is great as it is—and there is always room for improvement. Just as there is no one “right” way to live, people define happiness for themselves in different ways. The truth is that we are all seeking to find happiness and to avoid suffering, and this common human striving connects and bonds us all.

It is useful to remind ourselves that we each go through periods of feeling lost, and then found, as we endeavor to find joy. Our own struggles with addictions can be perceived as misguided attempts to relieve pain and find good feelings. All our mistakes and missteps are just variations on this basic human theme. What we may finally realize, with time, is that pleasure is not synonymous with happiness, but rather a temporary gratification of a desire.

Is it even possible to stabilize happiness, when everything else is constantly changing? Perhaps we just learn to appreciate and enjoy it when it presents itself and let go of seeking and struggling to achieve it. We can have a good time with all the variations along the happiness continuum, from contentment and delight to elation and ecstasy, each experience emanating a deeply felt, complete sense that all is well.

I hold the keys to my own happiness. Where have I hidden them?

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones, Daily Meditations for the Journey into Manhood and Recovery

[bluidkiti]

March 13

Accepting Change

The winds of change blow through our life, sometimes gently, sometimes like a tropical storm. Yes, we have resting places—time to adjust to another level of living, time to get our balance, time to enjoy the rewards. We have time to catch our breath.

But change is inevitable, and desirable. Sometimes, when the winds of change begin to rustle, we’re not certain the change is for the better. We may call it stress or a temporary condition, certain we’ll be restored to normal. Sometimes, we resist. We tuck our head down and buck the wind, hoping that things will quickly calm down, get back to the way things were. Is it possible we’re being prepared for a new “normal”?

Change will sweep through our life, as needed, to take us where we’re going. We can trust that our Higher Power has a plan in mind, even when we don’t know where the changes are leading.

We can trust that the change taking place is good. The winds will take us where we need to go.

Today, help me, God, to let go of my resistance to change. Help me be open to the process. Help me believe that the place I’ll be dropped off will be better than the place where I was picked up. Help me surrender, trust, and accept, even if I don’t understand.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

[bluidkiti]

March 14

You can’t be walked on unless you’re lying on the floor.

~Sylvia L.

A woman told her group about the problems she was having with her kids. It seems they never did what they were told, didn’t go to school unless they felt like it, and were often verbally abusive. In general, they pretty much did whatever they pleased. Of course, this caused their mother a great deal of pain. As an adult child, she was asking the group for direction.

One of the members who had been sitting quietly slipped in this little gem of wisdom, “You can’t be walked on unless you’re lying on the floor. If you don’t like the footprints on your back, why don’t you stand up?”

The abused parent probably didn’t like to hear that, but it was the truth. At times, we all tend to blame our problems with others on their stubbornness or selfishness. But the other side of that picture, the side we can do something about, has to do with passivity.

Today, I ask my Higher Power to back me up when I assert my rights. Today, I will not let myself be abused.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children

[bluidkiti]

March 15

Learning is a skill we develop that leads to lifelong adventure.

~Anonymous

Recovery asks that we commit ourselves to a life of learning. We do not turn our backs on our past; we learn from it. Past mistakes become guides and warnings to others and to us. As we use the Steps, our sponsor, and the fellowship, we make sense of how we got so lost. We gain knowledge of how we were seduced by intensity, which we mistook for intimacy. We see how we followed our instincts instead of spiritual principles. We see how our illness needed us to believe we were of little value. We see how our pain equaled entitlement to keep using. If we sit and listen, we learn much.

While listening in our healing circles, we are learning how to do life, how to do the next right thing. We start to see how to be of service to others instead of being a burden. We use this new knowledge over and over in this adventure we call life.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me to be open and committed to learning. Keep me from the arrogance that was part of my addiction.
Today's Action

Today I will write down five things that I’ve learned during my sobriety that have helped me have a better life.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple